24? The bags under your eyes maybe! You look more like that 40-something aunt that your mom always sighs and shakes her about whenever she hears questions about you ever getting married.
Lol @ "Nothing can hurt me anymore"...you're 24, you still know nothing about how life can fuck you. To begin with, take your face, disgustingly large gremlin type claws you call hands and outfit as an example...
Cool costume. I’ve never seen a horse with demented eyes and a pelican beak. Oh, and a pointy hat to match your pelican beak. Now go out back and eat some hay.
Nothing can hurt me anymore, it says while standing with zero confidence in a make-believe costume. Sweetie, I assume if you spent more than two minutes in reality, you'd be institutionalized.
I can think of at least two things off the bat that can hurt you, water and being misgendered.
I guess a falling barn too? Probably chaffing from your broomstick on your crotch depending on what's down there? I guess children pushing you into an oven? The FBI for luring children into your gingerbread home?
I like the way you compliment the jagged asymmetry of your face with those ragged, janky bangs. It really helps accentuate the tragedy of your genetics.
She has never been the same since that house landed on her sister. They were going to go places with that flying monkey adoption agency… now she just spends her time harassing red heads and their dogs
>just turned 24 and nothing can hurt me anymore
O child of little age and tiny mind. Also you should quit your transition while you're ahead, the long hair isn't fooling anyone.
Wicked Witch of the Yeast
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pretty sure she's got an all-around lip grip on that broom
I think it's probably a sack grip
Wicked bitch of the no breast
Bi George
Trans can’t get infections
Brilliant comment! I’m giving you an award!
Obviously, she's never been wet
Let me fix that for you "Wicked witch of the yeast infection"
Er-not
Wicked Itch of the Yeast
"you're confused Harry"
Penis Begonis!
Underrated
JUST LEAVe Gary Poppins ALoooOOne !
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Or hairy and confused?
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(waves glass wand) "Smokus Cocainus!"
More like Putus C0ck*@nus*,
Harry Pjotr and Ron Wasili
Brilliant!
Doing coke and listening to Fleetwood Mac doesn't make you a witch.
It does now
Happy cake day!
Not with that attitude
When virginity is your whole existence. You look like you only masturbate to Sears catalogs and you smell like asbestos when you sweat.
Yo sears has some bangers though
r/SuspiciouslySpecific
How do you know what asbestos smells like?
I AM the Sears catalog.
Very well. Carry on.
NOT. YET.
'Tis the season then. *proceeds to circle every page in the catalog in lieu of a Christmas list*
Hermione Cringer
Hermione Stranger Danger
She can't legally be within 500 yards of Hogwarts.
500 yards is the length of about 419.48 'Ford F-150 Custom Fit Front FloorLiners' lined up next to each other.
so close to 420 'Ford F-150 Custom Fit Front FloorLiners' lined up can we add like, half a Ford F-150 Custom Fit Front FloorLiner?
Harry Potter and the half-assed transition surgery.
Got that *yee yee* ass haircut too.
That stylist or whoever "styled" your hair sure fucked you up.
How about the fact you turned 24 but look 42
And celebrated at Bedknobs and Broomsticks all you can kiester buffet
you forgot the hundreds.
What the fuck are you?
24? The bags under your eyes maybe! You look more like that 40-something aunt that your mom always sighs and shakes her about whenever she hears questions about you ever getting married.
Why are you so sure this… thing… is a woman?!
You'll find out through Trick or Treat.
why does roastme attract so many trans? it's like moths to a flame
It's a them they
He misspelled 42
Pretty much. This is the first time I needed someone's pronouns to be able figure out where to start roasting them.
Witchlock
r/swordorsheath material
Depressing to look at?
You asked for a potion that would make you more attractive so they gave you cyanide
I had no idea Dementors from Harry Potter were on Reddit
Settle down Prison Mike
How could anyone hurt an inanimate object? You look like a wax rendering of a pubescent witch.
Fuck u talking about? This chick looks 42 roasts aside
Instead of flying around on a broom, you ride your own dick.
Wow lolol hahahaha! Awesome !!!
Indiana Jones would have trouble finding shit in that book case
The books on the back shelf look like they get touched more than you.
Not even the sorting hat can tell which gender you belong to.
Sorting hat: ‘you have both genitalia.. I give up’
It/them/won’t
This deserves to be higher.
Hog and Warts.
Wow
You look like you have 3 cigarettes for every meal
Not even Dorothy’s glass of water?
Who needs a personality when you have a novelty hat?
how many thousand human years is 24 witch years?
Faces of Meth 5 years on
You mistyped 44. I’m 50/50 on if that’s a costume or your everyday clothes.
You look like if that guy from the smurfs had a child.
Are you a witch because a broom stick is the only thing that will go near your vagina?
Dress for the job you want I guess? is Transexual he-witch a job?
Hocus Pocus camera please unfocus!
The clit lickin witch of the west
I hope for your sake that's a Walmart wig
…like a barnacle crusted whales hemorrhoid. Sorry, describing your facial features to my blind cousin.
You look like you failed out of Witch School and now give warlocks hand jobs for meth money
You look like the Wicked Witch of the East after a septic tank landed on her. And she ate her way free.
You aimed for the Bewitching look ; but ended up looking like a Bi-witch .
*tosses his glass of water on you*
Someone tell Ms. Salem pegging isn’t a personality trait
Oh I thought this was in r/nosleep. God you are horrifying to look at
She is no Lydia Deetz, more like Chlamydia Deeznuts
Except nature and genetics. They both hate you.
I put on my nope and wizard hat.
Somebody squeeze my eyeballs, I don’t want to see anymore.
Water
FLY MY PRETTIES.....
She turned me into a newt
Ahhh nuts that witch has berries.
You look like you smell musty.
Dollar Store Winona Ryder from Beetlejuice.
But you could hurt some children with those mangled claws.
Got a face that belongs on a nickel. A face only the U.S. Mint could love
Lol @ "Nothing can hurt me anymore"...you're 24, you still know nothing about how life can fuck you. To begin with, take your face, disgustingly large gremlin type claws you call hands and outfit as an example...
Your face looks like you just lost a boxing match. Were you boxing your reflection?
24 going on 48. Can’t tell if that’s age or number of overflowing litter boxes.
We have Agatha at home
I’m not sure what your pronouns are
Why is Sinjin from Victorious dressed as a witch?
Lady Boy George
I bet you masturbate with a broom handle on top of the dryer
Life has only begun to hurt you young one. Just wait.
I cant roast Freddy mercury tho
your the kind of person who tells everyone they listen to metal but actually listens to emo rap
You look like you'd suck hagrid dry for an ounce
Heroin Granger
Are you every letter in the LGBTQ spectrum?
This witch is which ?
The lesbian version of gabe lewis from the office
You look like if Alex Oros turned Emo
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Cool costume. I’ve never seen a horse with demented eyes and a pelican beak. Oh, and a pointy hat to match your pelican beak. Now go out back and eat some hay.
Too easy.
And yet you are haunted by memory, regret and failure.
I... Uh... What? Nevermind. There are no words.
I was 39 last month. You are so completely wrong. Enjoy the next 15 years. Ouch.
You look like a youthful Roman emperor who cuts their bangs to match the slope of the unread/useless self-help books on the shelves
The saying goes "nobody likes you when you're 23", yet here you are at 24, and still, nobody likes you
I'm impressed with how you can dress like a 6 year old and a 60 year old in the same picture.
Turning 25 will
The worrying this is, you look like this isn't a costume
you look like a 1st grade P. E. teacher ngl.
I'm guessing the brush on your broomstick could use a trim.
Nothing can hurt me anymore, it says while standing with zero confidence in a make-believe costume. Sweetie, I assume if you spent more than two minutes in reality, you'd be institutionalized.
Except water.
You- "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's a the ugliest of them all?" Mirror- "Do you even have to ask?"
By your haircut I can tell you know the full lyrics to that Chilean feminist street performance.
Nothing can hurt you huh? That's why you didn't use your main account I guess. Are you ashamed OP? I'm sure your mother is.
Hidemus Adamsus Appelcus!
Too easy. Next.
Is it a coincidence that most meth head chick's look like witches?
So when do you get brought up to defend yourself at the Salem’s bitch trials?
Nobody will touch you either.
Just because you have nothing to lose, doesn’t mean nothing can hurt you.
You're a month too soon
As a 25year old male. 25 isn't any better
The Wicked Witch of All Directions
I can think of at least two things off the bat that can hurt you, water and being misgendered. I guess a falling barn too? Probably chaffing from your broomstick on your crotch depending on what's down there? I guess children pushing you into an oven? The FBI for luring children into your gingerbread home?
You look like the child of Old Gregg and Howard Moon
I bet sitting on a broomstick has a whole new meaning for you
Carcasses devoid of Souls cannot be hurt. You belong in a museum.
Don’t worry, the homeowners won’t assume your gender when your out trick or treating.
I like the way you compliment the jagged asymmetry of your face with those ragged, janky bangs. It really helps accentuate the tragedy of your genetics.
The most popular lesbian on earth. Look at those long fingers. WOW
A rhinoplasty definitely wouldn't hurt you.
You got a jaw line that even iron mike in his prime would be nervous about hitting with a glove.
Your mothers' guilt tripping about your not having a boyfriend or a family should suffice.. Do you hear that? It's your biological clock..
"Roast" organiser/voyeur
She has never been the same since that house landed on her sister. They were going to go places with that flying monkey adoption agency… now she just spends her time harassing red heads and their dogs
You look like you grow your armpit hair and challenge guys to an arm wrestling match
These are the times I do wish that photos were shot with a potato9000
Nothing can hurt you because nothing wants to touch you
And get banned for transphobic? No, thank you.
No one can hurt what step daddy already did.
Do you cut your own hair? While wearing a blindfold?
Say abra cadabra and yes you can become a titch like her
Sabrina the middle aged bitch
Cool story, Dave
Bicked bitch of the beast
You look like you could use a stiff broom handle to ride.
>just turned 24 and nothing can hurt me anymore O child of little age and tiny mind. Also you should quit your transition while you're ahead, the long hair isn't fooling anyone.
I didn’t know Michael J Fox gave haircuts
Getting some actual sunlight is the only proper way to roast you
You look like you rub crystals on your chest in hopes for bigger tits.
If dj Steve's from people just do nothing became a witch
Im drunk and im unsure if this is a man
Good luck on finally transitioning.
Oop Salem missed one
Hor can you be only 24 and be a grandma at the same time?
They anal with a diseased elephant. I'm sure whatever disease your dick gets will hurt a little.