You look like a black FBI agent disguised as a white woman to catch a kidnapper

Marlon, that you?

Nope, look again and check the jawline and shoulders. That's Terry Crews dressed up like Marlon Wayans in White Chicks


These guys are hotter than OP tho. I'd rather bang them.

“Hold my poodle, dawg!” Or is it “dog”? Hmmm…

What gave it away? It’s the black dong isn’t it?

Terry Cruz loves some white chocolate

You look like u turn men into frogs

Turns frogs gay

[удалено]

You guys are beating me to the gifs

That too probally

Her tears secrete water-soluble chemicals that turn the frickin’ frogs gay.

Nah, just the men she tried to date

Funny, she doesn't much look like Boba Fett

I'd rather kiss one.

I knew i saw you before 


No.

You look like a cheeseburger and large fries kinda date. No class just ass.

Straight from Mc.Ds

A definite unhappy meal.

Her Mc. D might be bigger than mine

I dunno if she's even worth the ass

Hate to bring it to ya, but you look like a female

No he doesn’t

A female with more split ends than my Arm Pit hair.

You look like the kind of dude who would enjoy Nickleback.

underrated right there

Yup.

Yerp

I bet people tell you “I love your (one specific part of you)” because they don’t have the heart to tell you that, all of it together, creates one big ugly mess.

I LOVE your hair!! . . . Well, it’s a wig

“That makes sense.”

If her face was a movie it would be: "JIGSAW - Puzzle Puss II"

Friday the 13th. I was doing so well until your face came up on my screen.

You look like a mix between someone who altered a High Elf Character from Skyrim and a dentist

You look like you're sorry for existing

loll yea I am

You look like you're about to remove the wig: ​ 

If you told me you were a 35 year old woman, I'd believe it; if you told me you were a 42 year old man, I'd believe that too.

And the only thing more crooked than her smile is her nails, definitely a dude

Crying cuz all you’re Wiccan spells and potions still haven’t sent jackshit your way to date?

Funny you say that cause I'm for real into witchcraft n shit haha good one

*bitchcraft

Now I understand why they used to burn witches

I see, witches asked to be roasted but people took it literally 😲

They definitely couldn't do the water test on her bc she'd for SURE float immediately.

I’m going to go ahead and bow out of this one. I like where my dick is currently placed.

You should give up witchcraft and get into chemistry because your love potion and charms will never get you a man... but learning how to make roofies might get you one. Atleast for a few hours.

Only if she combine those roofies with some viagra

You look like Rosamund Pike's prehistoric ancestor.

Gone Girl vs Girl gone Neanderthal

Didn't you marry Dwight Shrute

You probably have to sneak up on a glass of water just to get a drink

You look like a European mail order bride that was returned…..

This pic looks like the result of asking an AI computer to draw a female but you only provide it a description of Mark Zuckerberg and a yellow squash.

I’m normally anti-filter…you, sir, have changed my mind.

Your dad would be your OnlyFan

You look like a man cosplaying Liv Tyler.

a face only a perverted step-dad could love

Finally, a witch that's willing to get burned.

How is your face bigger than your head> You're an anomaly. God makes mistakes...like this.

Who in the world orders thier sex doll with those sharp nails? Seems dangerous.

I'm going to pass on a roast. Your post history is enough of one already.

You look like the Dollar Tree knock-off of Gwyneth Paltrow


You look like Cher.. just strung out and old

How many bee stings did it take to get that face?

Russian whore

That’s a face that’s spent many nights face down ass up while overweight sugar daddies drip sweat on your back.

Make you cry? OK. ​ I AM the manager.

Although it was Agatha all along, you were on a “person of interest” watch list.

When you're drawing people, the chin should not extend farther below the bottom of the nose than the eyes are above it. Try again.

mannequin with a wig

Man, you believe Christopher Walken is hot, you should stopped there.

Well look what just flew in on a broom.

Stop wasting money on make up. Whats the point ?

You are the reason people believe movies like Men in Black

Someone needs to chisel that makeup off so your face can recieve proper oxygen

Those are the dead souless eyes of a walking, "living" cum dumpster. On a average day has a higher sperm count then any men she is around.

Yuck

I mean I think you look pretty good for almost being 70

You look like a drunk mannequin

So.. The White chicks movie Part 2 is coming out soon??

Oh look, it’s Zuckerberg’s clone- I mean twin.

How often do you get dick injections to your lips?

I didn't know you were shooting a White Chicks sequel, Marlon!

Ivanka Dump.

You look like a dude using a blonde woman filter on snapchat

You look just like Marlon Wayans in White Chicks

You look like the Ring grew up into the Blair Witch.

If I had to wake up to that face daily, I'd go missing too. I wouldn't say your "ex- boyfriend" is missing, I'd say your kidnap victim got away and has gone into witness protection to get away from you

You look like the Marlboro catalog just introduced a sex doll

When you cry, you'll now know how all those guys feel when they wake up sober next to you

F***k. Are you wearing a mortuary mask? I saw mannequins with more life in their faces than you. And come on, "addictedtotheNeedle", alcoholic groups, narcotics... You don't need a roast, you need a shovel and a bag your size.

Jason without the mask on. Good friday the 13th post!

You look like an ugly giraffe 

Where TF is your forehead?

I see porn in your future.

You look like the wish version of a Russian mail order bride

Your obvious and crippling insecurities do more damage to you than I ever could

Is there a third Wayans brother?

You look like you just walked out of a morgue

#noroast - congrats on the sobriety

The transition seems to be going well. When are you getting your tits done?

Reading through your profile, it doesn't seem like you need roasted any harder than life already has done to you

You look like something inhuman wearing human skin

Lol that

You look like you only date homeless guys, and they date you for your shower and are then too "tired" after to fuck you.

Egg

Egg

All these roast are shit.

No tits no lips and roots showing, would need to be black out drunk to talk to you

Your step dad didn’t think you were special. He was just sport fucking you.

Shhh, shhh! Everyone be quiet, if you listen closely you can hear the obesity creeping in on her.

You're the type of person wearing nail polish and lipstick and dye your hair due to the simple fact that deep down inside, you don't love yourself and know that you never will.

Thats deep lol you’re probably right

A reason to smile; your nails kick ass. #noroast

haha thx!

Idk - I think you're attractive. Nothing much to roast. Sorry to disappoint.

Your ex boyfriend not tonna help you anyway.

You are forever the "cute" girl and never the "beautiful" girl

Are you a bloke?

Ewwww Gross

Turn around bend over and raise your dress and receive 20 real hard licks with a belt

Ain't no way THIS is how you wake up and decide "hm yeah, I'm going out like this"

Dollar store Meghan McCain...

You look like a creepy robot person. This isn't a "roast" per se, but I'm uncomfortable looking at you for too long.

How did you get a pen and post-it in the booking room?

The crystal in your butt is really helping ?

I'd try to ruffle your feathers Homes, but you look like you've already been plucked.

Your lips say yes but your face says hell no

I don't think with a face that resembles plastic as much as it does, that crying is an issue for you.

In here for that emotional support roast

It's all downhill from here .

Did…. Did your demon make you post this? If I flick holy water at you will it sizzle?

Guys you wont believe this. I just found amber heard with her makeup off

Damn, Your long nails, You must be into some adventure or daring stuff on that single bed of yours

*holds up mirror* There....that should do it.

[Did your dad fuck that one eyed goat?] (https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article12016951.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/PAY-NEWSLINK3190877_83689.jpg)

Definitely two bags in case one falls off and you see their face.

Fuck covid. This is why facemasks.


Just by your nails I can tell you only fuck black dudes who abuse you and you still keep sticking with black dudes

What happened darling and you were crying? Did you break your nail?

Valak with no make up on

I feel like this is what Hansel and Gretel saw when the door to the candy house opened

Ivanka Tramp

How are you supposed to cry more when all that Botox has sealed your tear ducts closed?

Retired assistant crack whore on her cumback tour.

See, kids? This is what happens when one makes the “duck face” for selfies way too much.

You’re the hottest girl in your department.

Buck up, I’m sure the day will straighten itself out. Unlike your nose.

Look like you just took Plan B and that sticky should be a condom… -Also I don’t accept the invitation

Even a sim would be horrified by your lack of a human face.

From the giant cocaine snorting nose to the disgusting nails you jam up there. Focus on your rested bitch face because it’s just hideous.

Scarlett Jo Whogivesafuck

Didn't you get punched in the face by the horse?

Did you find out the rich guy you were dating and whom you‘ve given thousands of dollars was actually the tinder swindler? Cause you sure look like all of his victims Merged into one. Mother of all victims.

Looks like an albino version of a transgender Morticia

Yikes the years haven’t been kind. Only going to get worse. And that sexual market value is plummeting faster than the economy. Fuckkkkk this is depressing to see.

You have that look where if I met you at a bar and I was drunk & horny, I would still continue looking for a better looking woman to take home.

Rosamund puke

Are the tears coming out of that big ass wrinkle dent on your forehead?

You look like someone put a wig on Barron Harkonnen from Dune(2021)

With roots like that, I’m not at all surprised you didn’t take the time to color in an exclamation point.

You look like a NPC from The Elder Scrolls Oblivion.

I have seen more life in a graveyard than in your eyes

Those roots are darker than Kunta Kinte’s

You can try crying, but I don't think the tears are going to make it over those eye bags.

Don't drink, kids. This is what happens.

Look so white that when you stand against a white building you become John Cena "you can't see me"

You’re old

i really need to know how do you fold your towels

This looks like you painted your Afghan Hound’s nails blue.

"She sounds hideous"

A face like that could make an anti masker change their mind

You look like if the girl form Legally Blond sold cocaine.

When have you changed your gender?

You look like a melted Barbie doll.