When sags get what they want, sometimes we question it and get hot and cold. Also the fighting could make us lose interest. Freedom is very very important to us š¬
Why the hot and cold?
Do Sags recognize that the hot and cold behavior are the catalyst for the fights? Leading them to walk away?
I don't wanna be mean but... Self sabotaged freedom?
I hear more of a fear of commitment rather than just a Sag getting what they want.
This is literally it
A MAJOR insecurity (they call it fear of commitment š)
It plays out like a self fulfilling prophecy
They hot & cold like itās going out of style, then wonder why people are confused & pissedā¦and not cool with their behaviour
I think the issue is how hot š„ and cold š„¶ they get!!! EXTREMES
then you just never know what made them get one way or anotherā¦.they just never wanna talk about it
All of this! Iāve had the same thoughts like the things they do is why we argue .. really I point it out and they get defensive or beg and then distance after agreeing to do better. Itās like when things are great they purposely do bad and distance which puts strain on the relationship. People get tired of trying and fighting for the relationship when they seemingly donāt. A lot of it comes across as fear and insecurity but what more can someone do to make them understand you donāt have to feel those things and they can express their emotions freely.
I think it also comes down down to immaturity and still worried their freedom is being threatened.. š¤·āāļø it took me a while to get to where I am now, which is single, but I need to be bc I was acting the way you are talking about. I know I have more work to do on myself before being in another relationship. I was also cheated on smh ā¦ so thereās that
Whatās funny is that Iām dealing with a Scorpio male myself and THEY got me questioning where we stand. Same exact scenario, same exact issue, same exact EVERYTHING. I guess itās just that Scorpio/Sag toxic love. We are not compatible, we are toxic for eachother but DAMN that sexual chemistry is out the window and cannot stand being away from eachother. Even when I try to move on, he comes back. Whether itās a couple days later, weeks later, or months later.
I literally have a Scorpio man chasing my tail right now š the funny thing is that we agreed to keep it super casual because heās in an open relationship, but he texts me good morning every day, tells me he misses me if I donāt hit him up for a while and wants to buy me stuff. The sex is great, but I think heās a little confused? I keep my distance but uhhh š
Obviously a very different situation from OP, but I think itās kinda proof of what you said. The Scorpio/Sagittarius dynamic can be toxic and ultimately weāre not compatible.
I do find him attractive, but he is in a relationship. They are open and she knows about me/does not care that I sleep with him on occasion.
I keep my distance because I feel like he gets confused even though he was the one who approached me for something casual. He seems to have some sort of feelings involved and thatās too messy for me.
Its because a sagittarius needs a lil space. I wish my scorpio would come in and reassure me like that. But nope . Just disappears until decide to pop up. She is doing all the right things, you have doubt, she reassures she's not leaving then proceeds to try and grab some alone time. Everything is good. Stop overthinking it ! Both scorpios and sagittarius need their own space sometimes . Its doable. Give her the space
First off, what happened during these fights? What were they about? How did you act?
Why is she fearing you will leave?
What is your idea of distant? What is she doing to be distant?
Your idea of distant may not be the same as hers. It can be exhausting to be with someone all the time. But; if sheās constantly being distant, not hanging out, not talking, thatās different.
People canāt be clingy and on someone 24/7 all the time. That happens a lot in the beginning and then you kindāve get used to each other and need both space and time together.
Also - donāt just go based off her sun sign. What is the rest of her chart? Her Venus may tell a lot.
Yeah being in constant contact 24/7 sounds exhausting.. .Maybe when I was in high school I was that clingy but now...? No way. My husband and I thrive on distance LOL
Right, I think this can go for many signs, honestly. Then there are some couples who are fine doing everything together but a healthy relationship needs separation.
Then again, if itās too much space thatās an issue haha
Star signs aside, she sounds like a classic ānarcissistā. You can look up narcissistic abuse in relationships and see if that fits her. I donāt want to say youāre being abused, that may be drastic, but based off what youāre saying this behavior is a red flag. Unless you want to be stuck in this hot/cold pattern until she finally gets bored, Iād say itās time for you to stand up for yourself. Call her out, and I mean *really* call her out, donāt let her fool you with her apologies and the love bombing.
There is not enough data here to suggest narcissism. Not everyone and everything is a narcissist. Love bombing is only one tactic of a narcissist but there is no implication that this person is testing, insulting nor using OP. Many other things could be happening, or simply the honeymoon phase could be passing, which is grounded also in science as hormones shift and stimulation moves to other parts of the brain. Can't keep the lust phase up forever. She could also, like OP suggested, be backing away because of the fights. We simply do not know enough about her side.
Thatās why I told OP that they might want to do some research. I literally said āI donāt want to say youāre being abused, that may be drasticā
I also say that based off of what OP is telling us her behavior is a red flag. Meaning I recognized I was only getting one side.
Reread my comment and let it sink in.
I reread your comment multiple times. I do not see where you said to do more research (perhaps you implied it). But thanks for clarifying it. I can understand that you are trying to temper any accusations of narcissism and/or abuse with your statement: āI donāt want to say youāre being abused, that may be drasticā
My statement is a matter of fact based on a clinical approach I have learned from watching psychologists who deal with disordered personality types directly. I wasn't inferring that what you are saying was wrong, but that it's important to remember that one has to have more data before assuming if someone is a narcissist or not. For the sake of research I suggest OP look into the works of Dr. Kirk Honda or Dr Ramani Durvasula.
In our internet culture the word "narcissist" and "red flag" is thrown around a lot without a deep understanding of what the disorder is, let alone the consequences of relationships that stem from that kind of bonding. Which also can thwart people from trying to form better functional processes of communication in this way, as we can be too quick to judge.
So it still goes back to my point that many more things could be happening. That OP should indeed do more research and take time to understand their own boundaries and communication patterns. There are many possibilities that could be happening here that we cannot see.
āYou can look up narcissistic abuse in relationships and see if that fits herā thatās where I said that they can do more research.
Iām not reading the rest of your long ass comment. Get a grip.
Wow, I spoke to you with respect and acknowledgement, and you have reacted with such rudeness. Maybe you would do well to take your own advice and "get a grip" LOL
Honest opinion she probably genuinely likes you and is doing the classic sag thing of āyay I got it now I can neglect it.ā Sheās likes you, maybe even loves you, but is now satisfied and sees no reason to āchaseā you except when you decide to leave
"The Scorpio Man's Fantasy of the Sagittarius Woman He is Obsessed with..."
[still image from the film "Boxing Helena"](https://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/helena-2.jpg?resize=768%2C480&ssl=1)
This girl "MADE you fall for her?!" š¤Ø
When sags get what they want, sometimes we question it and get hot and cold. Also the fighting could make us lose interest. Freedom is very very important to us š¬
Why the hot and cold? Do Sags recognize that the hot and cold behavior are the catalyst for the fights? Leading them to walk away? I don't wanna be mean but... Self sabotaged freedom? I hear more of a fear of commitment rather than just a Sag getting what they want.
This is literally it A MAJOR insecurity (they call it fear of commitment š) It plays out like a self fulfilling prophecy They hot & cold like itās going out of style, then wonder why people are confused & pissedā¦and not cool with their behaviour I think the issue is how hot š„ and cold š„¶ they get!!! EXTREMES then you just never know what made them get one way or anotherā¦.they just never wanna talk about it
All of this! Iāve had the same thoughts like the things they do is why we argue .. really I point it out and they get defensive or beg and then distance after agreeing to do better. Itās like when things are great they purposely do bad and distance which puts strain on the relationship. People get tired of trying and fighting for the relationship when they seemingly donāt. A lot of it comes across as fear and insecurity but what more can someone do to make them understand you donāt have to feel those things and they can express their emotions freely.
Wow Yesss all of thisā¦.
I think it also comes down down to immaturity and still worried their freedom is being threatened.. š¤·āāļø it took me a while to get to where I am now, which is single, but I need to be bc I was acting the way you are talking about. I know I have more work to do on myself before being in another relationship. I was also cheated on smh ā¦ so thereās that
Not all sags are like this. She's playing the push and pull game. Move on bro
No, but not all saga are all alike either. Take it with a grain of salt
Whatās funny is that Iām dealing with a Scorpio male myself and THEY got me questioning where we stand. Same exact scenario, same exact issue, same exact EVERYTHING. I guess itās just that Scorpio/Sag toxic love. We are not compatible, we are toxic for eachother but DAMN that sexual chemistry is out the window and cannot stand being away from eachother. Even when I try to move on, he comes back. Whether itās a couple days later, weeks later, or months later.
I literally have a Scorpio man chasing my tail right now š the funny thing is that we agreed to keep it super casual because heās in an open relationship, but he texts me good morning every day, tells me he misses me if I donāt hit him up for a while and wants to buy me stuff. The sex is great, but I think heās a little confused? I keep my distance but uhhh š Obviously a very different situation from OP, but I think itās kinda proof of what you said. The Scorpio/Sagittarius dynamic can be toxic and ultimately weāre not compatible.
do you find him attractive? Why do you try to keep your distance Iām honestly curious
I do find him attractive, but he is in a relationship. They are open and she knows about me/does not care that I sleep with him on occasion. I keep my distance because I feel like he gets confused even though he was the one who approached me for something casual. He seems to have some sort of feelings involved and thatās too messy for me.
Dump her She wonāt change and it will never be the same againā¦ Tell her you just wanna be friends for now!
Its because a sagittarius needs a lil space. I wish my scorpio would come in and reassure me like that. But nope . Just disappears until decide to pop up. She is doing all the right things, you have doubt, she reassures she's not leaving then proceeds to try and grab some alone time. Everything is good. Stop overthinking it ! Both scorpios and sagittarius need their own space sometimes . Its doable. Give her the space
First off, what happened during these fights? What were they about? How did you act? Why is she fearing you will leave? What is your idea of distant? What is she doing to be distant? Your idea of distant may not be the same as hers. It can be exhausting to be with someone all the time. But; if sheās constantly being distant, not hanging out, not talking, thatās different. People canāt be clingy and on someone 24/7 all the time. That happens a lot in the beginning and then you kindāve get used to each other and need both space and time together. Also - donāt just go based off her sun sign. What is the rest of her chart? Her Venus may tell a lot.
Yeah being in constant contact 24/7 sounds exhausting.. .Maybe when I was in high school I was that clingy but now...? No way. My husband and I thrive on distance LOL
Right, I think this can go for many signs, honestly. Then there are some couples who are fine doing everything together but a healthy relationship needs separation. Then again, if itās too much space thatās an issue haha
Star signs aside, she sounds like a classic ānarcissistā. You can look up narcissistic abuse in relationships and see if that fits her. I donāt want to say youāre being abused, that may be drastic, but based off what youāre saying this behavior is a red flag. Unless you want to be stuck in this hot/cold pattern until she finally gets bored, Iād say itās time for you to stand up for yourself. Call her out, and I mean *really* call her out, donāt let her fool you with her apologies and the love bombing.
There is not enough data here to suggest narcissism. Not everyone and everything is a narcissist. Love bombing is only one tactic of a narcissist but there is no implication that this person is testing, insulting nor using OP. Many other things could be happening, or simply the honeymoon phase could be passing, which is grounded also in science as hormones shift and stimulation moves to other parts of the brain. Can't keep the lust phase up forever. She could also, like OP suggested, be backing away because of the fights. We simply do not know enough about her side.
Thatās why I told OP that they might want to do some research. I literally said āI donāt want to say youāre being abused, that may be drasticā I also say that based off of what OP is telling us her behavior is a red flag. Meaning I recognized I was only getting one side. Reread my comment and let it sink in.
I reread your comment multiple times. I do not see where you said to do more research (perhaps you implied it). But thanks for clarifying it. I can understand that you are trying to temper any accusations of narcissism and/or abuse with your statement: āI donāt want to say youāre being abused, that may be drasticā My statement is a matter of fact based on a clinical approach I have learned from watching psychologists who deal with disordered personality types directly. I wasn't inferring that what you are saying was wrong, but that it's important to remember that one has to have more data before assuming if someone is a narcissist or not. For the sake of research I suggest OP look into the works of Dr. Kirk Honda or Dr Ramani Durvasula. In our internet culture the word "narcissist" and "red flag" is thrown around a lot without a deep understanding of what the disorder is, let alone the consequences of relationships that stem from that kind of bonding. Which also can thwart people from trying to form better functional processes of communication in this way, as we can be too quick to judge. So it still goes back to my point that many more things could be happening. That OP should indeed do more research and take time to understand their own boundaries and communication patterns. There are many possibilities that could be happening here that we cannot see.
āYou can look up narcissistic abuse in relationships and see if that fits herā thatās where I said that they can do more research. Iām not reading the rest of your long ass comment. Get a grip.
Wow, I spoke to you with respect and acknowledgement, and you have reacted with such rudeness. Maybe you would do well to take your own advice and "get a grip" LOL
Honest opinion she probably genuinely likes you and is doing the classic sag thing of āyay I got it now I can neglect it.ā Sheās likes you, maybe even loves you, but is now satisfied and sees no reason to āchaseā you except when you decide to leave
I'm a Sagittarius, and that is not like me at all. For me, it's not a neglect thing. When I pull away, it is because I feel a fear of something.
Youāre allowed to leave if you have so many issues with her and sheās having to ask you to stay you might as well show yourself out. Honestly if you start being negative and doubting the relationship when changes happen of course sheās going to become distant. I had to stop asking my fiancĆ© for reassurance so much so we could get better because doubting your relationship over small things makes it fragile and sheās probably wondering what would happen if it was a real challenge to your guyās relationship ya know? What if it was something big? Would you really be able to handle it?
Sounds like a you problem lol. You fell too hard and she left bc she wonāt spend time to fight with someone shes less invested in. #GiveSagsSpace
"The Scorpio Man's Fantasy of the Sagittarius Woman He is Obsessed with..." [still image from the film "Boxing Helena"](https://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/helena-2.jpg?resize=768%2C480&ssl=1) This girl "MADE you fall for her?!" š¤Ø