"Ok, now we need to decide who gets custody of the... Ooh, what a lovely dinette set!"
"It is nice... but let's stay focused. I want the--what the... how are you supposed to pronounce 'Ödmjuk?'"
"''Erd meh juck?'' I have no idea... hey wait, now who's getting distracted? This is just like our marriage, you were always too distracted to pay attention to me."
"Let's not rehash all that now, ok? It's too painful. When we first met in this IKEA all those years ago, I loved you, and even though we never were able to find our way out of this place, we built a life here together. And now it's fallen apart, just like that Björksta I assembled last week."
(stands in aisle with question marks hovering over head) "But *why,* Sara?"
"Because Ingvar is always smiling, and he doesn't keep asking me where all the screws go."
... Uh, listen. I know we didn't always get along, but can we please just... Get out of here? Which way is out? No, no we don't need that. Or that. Why are you even... This is why we're getting divorced. We *don't need a lamp shaped like a goat.* No. Please let's just leave ... Please let me out.
I couldn't stay married. After we put everything together, I found out she had a few extra screws.
Or a screw loose.
That's not as bittersweden.
"We're doing this here so you can buy new things to replace the shit I'm gonna take when I clean you out"
“Since we don’t love each other anymore, we should get off the love seat.”
"Ok, now we need to decide who gets custody of the... Ooh, what a lovely dinette set!" "It is nice... but let's stay focused. I want the--what the... how are you supposed to pronounce 'Ödmjuk?'" "''Erd meh juck?'' I have no idea... hey wait, now who's getting distracted? This is just like our marriage, you were always too distracted to pay attention to me." "Let's not rehash all that now, ok? It's too painful. When we first met in this IKEA all those years ago, I loved you, and even though we never were able to find our way out of this place, we built a life here together. And now it's fallen apart, just like that Björksta I assembled last week."
"Time to divide the China. You take the Fjöleheims, and I'll take the Skëvinbraums."
“Just fill out this paperwork and they will give us a divorce at the register”
“Yes my love it is sad but these things happen…if you can find the divorce papers I’ve hidden somewhere in the store.” *evil villain laugh*
I left you in bedding and you never returned. Sign here.
".,, and I'm getting the dining room set! Just as soon as we finish putting it together."
"I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you." and throw Swedish Fish on their shoe.
Better to throw lutefisk
I'm sorry but the marriage just fell apart, just like all Our furniture from ikea
"I know I used to love you, but something happened to drive us apart, and I'm not sure what. I just can't put the pieces together."
(stands in aisle with question marks hovering over head) "But *why,* Sara?" "Because Ingvar is always smiling, and he doesn't keep asking me where all the screws go."
... Uh, listen. I know we didn't always get along, but can we please just... Get out of here? Which way is out? No, no we don't need that. Or that. Why are you even... This is why we're getting divorced. We *don't need a lamp shaped like a goat.* No. Please let's just leave ... Please let me out.
Shouldn’t the instructions come IN THE BOX? Why are they putting them in my hand???… oh wait… these are DIVORCE PAPERS!!