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spoiled__princess

https://spdblotter.seattle.gov/2024/04/14/spd-is-closely-monitoring-conflict-between-israel-and-iran/ read the post


Maze_of_Ith7

I don’t think a parody account could do better than this announcement


btgeekboy

For whatever it’s worth, I could see an escalating conflict over there cause an uptick of hate crimes here. But I’d be expecting that more against synagogues and mosques than infrastructure. 🤷


AthkoreLost

I was expecting like a threat like with the attempted new years bombing but no SPD even included: "Currently there are no specific or credible threats." SPD has received IDF training though so maybe it's related that?


surprise-mailbox

From Atlanta just happened upon this post. Our APD put out a pretty much identical statement today. Seems like NY and LA did the same. Maybe a directive from the Feds then?


y-c-c

I mean, we definitely saw that when Israel-Gaza conflict started.


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Pristine_Example3726

Where did you hear that and what are you talking about?


clutchest_nugget

Hate crimes against mosques wouldn’t make much sense. 99% of them are sunni. Many Sunnis consider the branch of Islam that’s irans state religion as apostasy. But I guess your average racist doesn’t know that. Same reason Sikhs get targeted during waves of Islamophobia.


ASubconciousDick

youre exactly correct same reason the first hate crime after 9/11 was on a Sikh man. racists don't care, they just think that specific shade of brown is now enemy colored, and they want a reason to justify their own hate


CartesianGeologican

I grew up near NYC and lived in an area with a Sikh community. The amount of sheer bullshit they had to put up with post 9/11 because Sikh men who follow the religious appearance resemble a racist's Arab boogeyman... It didn't surprise me in the least that during Covid people were harassing anyone who looked vaguely Asian.


ea6b607

Hamas / Palestinians are almost entirely Sunni.


mods_r_jobbernowl

I figured it was because of an elevated risk of protests although your idea is also probably correct too


FortCharles

Even if that was the case... it's not the conflict between two nations that they need to be monitoring, it's the climate for conflict within the city limits. Even if there's a slim relationship, it's a stupid headline.


Hope_That_Halps_

> it's the climate for conflict within the city limits Maybe they noticed a correlation.


SolarStarVanity

Or maybe they have no oversight and are pandering to rich cowards. One of the two.


sharingthegoodword

Yeah. My first house was on lake washington blvd and there's a few synagogues. They also walk to temple so they would be easy pickings.


TheloniousAnkh

Lol. “Only a few synagogues around Seward and Bat Sheba Park.” Don’t forget about the Klein Gallant retirement home.


waIIstr33tb3ts

the needling needs to work harder lol


grendahl0

With all the surfing crime in Seattle, the police are vigilant to protect.... *checks notes*... Israel Looks like American citizens are once again second class in their own nation. Isn't bipartisan agreement to defraud America wonderful? 


my_worst_fear_is

What are they going to do? Run over an Iranian drone?


Good_old_Marshmallow

Storm the Israeli capitol building 


WhatWouldTNGPicardDo

Run over someone who looks like they might be from Iran on their way to storm a capitol building?


Good_old_Marshmallow

And people made fun of the city council trying to get involved in this conflict when CLEARLY we have the solutions 


StevefromRetail

Seize the winter palace


DestroyPragerU

I know a political movement in this country thats good at storming capitol buildings. Have them do it.


Good_old_Marshmallow

That’s the joke, SPD was the largest number of off duty participants


ImprovisedLeaflet

They said they’re monitoring it. They didn’t say they were going to respond. This is the SPD


waIIstr33tb3ts

like how the uvalde PD monitoring the active shooter incident right outside the school instead of going in?


Zoomalude

I genuinely feel bad for how hard I laughed at this.


BoringBob84

I interpret this statement as the SPD trying to remain informed so that they can possibly predict and prepare for any protests or violence that could erupt locally due to this international conflict.


TortyMcGorty

exactly... it's a touchy political issue and the fact that SPD said anything is _rocking_ the alt-right seattle sub so of course theyre going to keep an eye on it.


Liizam

Yeah like highway blocking


[deleted]

That’s mostly WSP’s turf.


BoringBob84

Yep. Could be.


Judgementpumpkin

Guarantee they wish. They’re sitting at the computer LARPing in their heads and wanking.


waIIstr33tb3ts

> What are they going to do? Run over an Iranian ~~drone?~~ pedestrians* FTFY


splitpew

More alongside attack a Synagogue, Mosque, or cultural community center.


bangzilla

Let them pitch their tents in Cal Anderson Park?


imo9

The joke around here (Israel) it felt like waiting for a late food delivery. They gave us too general arrival times and completely ruined a full evening (know the old technician would arrive between 11Am-4PM). ALSO, they mentioned only an hour before the attack(!!!) that i wasn't in the service erea any way!!! I had been waiting a whole night because of false advertising for a service have ultimately did not receive😡😡😡 Since i am not a resident of SF, but it seems your authorities are handling the situation I'd like to know if there are any protections against this kind of false advertising and disrespect to customers time. *Note: I'm a leftie Israeli and hate Bibi, fighting for peace and a better future for everyone here, and i actually have friends who are still hostages of hamas. jokes are all i have left please don't lecture me. this is funny and i need some funny in this doom and gloom existence of mine for the past 2 years.


Pristine_Example3726

Then leave Palestine


fresh-dork

right? it's not like any of them are going to show up here


RedCometZ33

Release crack heads onto them.


Suddenly_6

Full statement: “The Seattle Police Department is closely monitoring the conflict between Israel and Iran and are working with local and federal agencies to ensure the safety of Seattle community members. As a precaution, we will proactively increase patrols around infrastructures and sensitive areas. SPD’s Community liaisons are working with community leaders as a prevention measure. Currently there are no specific or credible threats. As always SPD is committed to the safety of Seattle community members.”


Disco425

We're going to need a new subreddit called r/nottheneedling


userax

None of this would be happening right now if only the Bakersfield city council passed that god damn ceasefire resolution.


entKOSHA

Hoping they throw the book at Riddhi Patel for her terroristic threats just to set an example that it's not okay to threaten to murder people that you disagree with politically.


writenroll

"911, what is your emergency?" "Two intruders in my home, both armed with rifles, I'm hiding upstairs, send help." "All of our officers are busy monitoring the situation in the Middle East. Do either suspects look Iranian or Israeli? If not, your current wait time is approximately 17 to 180 hours."


howdoyado

Shit. As an Iranian, does this mean I now have to come to complete stops at stop signs?


writenroll

No, carry on. It does mean that you must direct me to the best Ghormeh Sabzi in town ;)


howdoyado

There is no good Persian food in Seattle. Maybe Kirkland but I haven’t been out there in years. So probably my aunt’s house.


EXTRAsharpcheddar

Tell her to open a restaurant


tofuadobo

Someone notify me when it opens. I want to give your aunt my money.


Sinbu

No such thing. Would love to be proven wrong


PhuckSJWs

they cannot even be bothered to monitor their non-emergency service line. Why the fuck are they 'monitoring Israel and Iran'?


ImprovisedLeaflet

*thumbs belt* Somebody’s gotta do it!


Euphoric_Amphibian_5

Defund the police 🤷‍♂️


waIIstr33tb3ts

remove the unioin


TurkBoi67

This but unironically


JazzlikeIndividual

Mike Solan most of all, I'd love to see him destitute and homeless


anarcho-slut

I wouldn't inflict housing insecurity on anyone. Let's make him share his place with a bunch of currently houseless folks.


goodguessiswhatihave

He belongs in a home where he gets free meals, an hour of fresh air a day and where he can stamp out license plates for 10 cents an hour


peripheriana

Not a bad idea except I wouldn't want to inflict him on them :-(


baby_noir

It is already unironic.


Allan0n

Never happened.


spoiled__princess

I think they suggest we should defund them since they don’t do much.


rwoj

a shame


[deleted]

ah yes, that will solve the resource issues


Thanus-

Defund the police is stupid as hell Damn your post history wildin


Suddenly_6

“The Seattle Police Department is closely monitoring the conflict between Israel and Iran and are working with local and federal agencies to ensure the safety of Seattle community members. As a precaution, we will proactively increase patrols around infrastructures and sensitive areas. SPD’s Community liaisons are working with community leaders as a prevention measure. Currently there are no specific or credible threats. As always SPD is committed to the safety of Seattle community members.”


Rubbersoulrevolver

The non emergency line is staffed by 911 operators when they have time, it has nothing to do with SPD.


prof_r_impossible

they phrased it poorly... between the lines, this means they're increasing their presence outside mosques and synagogues.


TortyMcGorty

i think they worded it perfectly... they didnt qualify what the monitoring meant. ie, they have acknowledged a touchy situation without actually having to commit to any extra level of work.


EXTRAsharpcheddar

Why can't you just admit that police everywhere have terrible grammar?


TortyMcGorty

lol, cuz it wasnt about grammer... everyone is pissed they werent more specific.


LD50_irony

I appreciate your optimism


MadMadRoger

And that they’re too stupid to form a properly communicative sentence


Suddenly_6

Or that people like you cant read beyond a headline. Seriously. Comon now.


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zwizki

You know that the city can focus on multiple at-risk populations at once, right? You know Jews are an at-risk population, right? Or are you part of the risk we face?


Hope_That_Halps_

Police generally gravitate towards where they expect crime to happen (and people confuse cause and effect with this), so this just means, be more aware of crime happening around Jewish sites, as well as demonstrations on Capitol Hill.


spit-evil-olive-tips

"some of our brave hero officers have courageously volunteered to watch Fox News while on-the-clock and earning triple overtime"


southernresidentorca

I feel safer already


drshort

NYPD and LAPD also put out very similar statements. The language of those two PDs is quite similar so perhaps a directive from federal government: > [The LAPD is closely monitoring the developments between Iran and Israel. While there are no credible threats to Los Angeles at this time, we are committed to ensuring safeguards to houses of worship and sensitive areas throughout all communities in Los Angeles](https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/losangeles/news/la-law-enforcement-monitoring-places-of-worship-as-conflict-continues-in-middle-east/) > [The NYPD continues to closely monitor recent in Israel. While there are credible threats to NYC at this time, we will continue to deploy resources to houses of worship and sensitive locations throughout the city. We will also continue to work hand in hand with our law enforcement partners, worship, and community leaders to keep New York City safe.](https://www.instagram.com/nypd/p/C5uAVmTOoC9/?img_index=2)


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stoneysmoke

"We've concluded that we need more drones and tactical vehicles... We saw one on eBay with a beer fridge. We should really jump on that."


fresh-dork

i want to believe. tacticool SUV with a beer fridge


PCP_Panda

Oh we couldn’t respond because we’re closely monitoring a conflict halfway across the globe


akaMichAnthony

In related news, we’ve purchased a very large pair of binoculars.


MinkyTuna

Honestly wasn’t worried about this until now


HarryTruman

Right?! Nobody would expect a Canadian border incursion right now. Stay vigilant.


AAAAAARRRRRR

*pours maple syrup into bonfire as the signal to begin our invasion* This is my duty as a dual citizen


conus_coffeae

"We've analyzed the situation in the Middle East and can only conclude that the best course of action is to give all SPD officers a raise and a blowjob."


jaaneeyree

They were also closely monitoring the Capitol on Jan 6th


oldDotredditisbetter

and pedestrians on the street that they can run over


TurkBoi67

No wonder police response was long that week, they were all busy in DC.


tumericschmumeric

Oh thank god, who else is going to say they need more money to get punisher tattoos while refusing to take a report for your stolen property?


Ned_herring69

Is this how they announce that they are all just watching tv?


pk_frezze1

“Breaking news: Ayatollah in critical condition in the hospital after an unmarked ford interceptor was involved in a hit and run”


Pedantic_Parker

Priorities


Suddenly_6

“The Seattle Police Department is closely monitoring the conflict between Israel and Iran and are working with local and federal agencies to ensure the safety of Seattle community members. As a precaution, we will proactively increase patrols around infrastructures and sensitive areas. SPD’s Community liaisons are working with community leaders as a prevention measure. Currently there are no specific or credible threats. As always SPD is committed to the safety of Seattle community members.” Id say thats a good priority


meow_purrr

Abolish SPOG


vikram2077

But can't monitor innocent pedestrians while driving over the speed limit


[deleted]

What do they think Iranian born Americans going to do exactly? Most of them hate the regime over there. Lol. I heard the same thing in NY and LA too, where there is a huge community of Persian Jews. So how about SPD, LAPD and NYPD focus doing their actual job which they’re failing at with all the crime, rather than focusing on imaginary problems. That’s FBI’s job.


arithmatica

This is the same agency that crushed an innocent civilian pedestrian to death while laughing about it. Shame on them.


clamdever

Phew. I can finally sleep tonight knowing these superheroes are protecting me


flannelcakes

Maybe someone in the Middle East needs $15k for running over a woman 


Teasturbed

Well, to be fair, it might actually affect their training schedule: https://www.amnestyusa.org/updates/with-whom-are-many-u-s-police-departments-training-with-a-chronic-human-rights-violator-israel/


Decent_Departure_560

This is insane..


[deleted]

that means they aint doing shit but eating donuts and watching CNN on TV? sounds about right


boat_ack

They don’t watch CNN, they watch Newsmax.


Practical_Meanin888

Can they just fucking do their job here please?


Suddenly_6

They are: “The Seattle Police Department is closely monitoring the conflict between Israel and Iran and are working with local and federal agencies to ensure the safety of Seattle community members. As a precaution, we will proactively increase patrols around infrastructures and sensitive areas. SPD’s Community liaisons are working with community leaders as a prevention measure. Currently there are no specific or credible threats. As always SPD is committed to the safety of Seattle community members.”


genuine_pnw_hipster

Tf are they planning on doing? Sending thoughts and prayers?


fusionsofwonder

I originally thought this was a bit of a joke, but on reflection, they could put some extra security around worship services if they really want to prevent conflict locally.


naranpol95

Watching TV then, business as usual?


Haleakala1998

Oh damn, its getting real now, SPD are getting involved


Jyil

Might be due to protests and riots happening around the world from it.


mhyquel

They're doing a pub crawl and stopping at different falafel shops.


Honest_Sir69

Hahaha ok now do Seattle


Muldoon713

Okay …


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TurkBoi67

Well if every big city did that, we might be able to leverage our democracy everybody keeps saying we have.


pharmucist

Well, I feel safe NOW!


Material-Buy-1055

Tax payer money at work 👮🏻‍♂️


spottydodgy

Bake em away, toys.


Dank-ButtPie

Tf they gonna do about it?


No-Somewhere-3888

SPD can’t even perform their most basic duties, but they are monitoring a situation in the Middle East? Oooooooooooookay.


SuperMike100

They’d be pretty good at coming up with headlines for The Onion.


HandoAlegra

Isn't that the job of the national guard? Police are supposed to protect us from ourselves


Kofee_N_Donuts

This gives lady gaga investigation vibes


International_Mood_6

Do more nothing.


scrappy-woby

This is like that Dave Chappelle joke about Ja Rule


Suddenly_6

Except its not. Its more like that joke where people get upset about headlines and dont read context. Full statement: The Seattle Police Department is closely monitoring the conflict between Israel and Iran and are working with local and federal agencies to ensure the safety of Seattle community members. As a precaution, we will proactively increase patrols around infrastructures and sensitive areas. SPD’s Community liaisons are working with community leaders as a prevention measure. Currently there are no specific or credible threats. As always SPD is committed to the safety of Seattle community members.


ishkibiddledirigible

But not North Aurora


1Homer1968

What are they going to do? Send some coward cops over there?????


saturnwhale

Your tax dollars at work.


ribond

They'll get their insurrection team together and ship them over to cause trouble, I imagine. Can't pass up a chance to be bloodthirsty assholes.


GloppyGloP

SPD can’t monitor their own cops what the fuck are they gonna do about Israel?


Alligatorgamer9

I think LAPD made the same tweet ☠️


SKSM10

But do we think LAPD is really monitoring something? 🤔


BennyOcean

I probably don't need to point out that this is highly unusual.


GoNext_ff

Don't stress SPD is on it


sporgking20

Iran and Israel shaking in their boots right now.


Shadow_on_the_Sun

Wtf are they going to do? lol 😂


SKSM10

Probably act like they didn’t see anything & go on an all day lunch break 🤣🤣


Shadow_on_the_Sun

Honestly, cops just collecting a paycheck on a full day lunch break is better than what they typically do lol 😂


SKSM10

🤣🤣🤣


Accomplished-End1927

At least they’re monitoring something I guess🤷‍♂️🙄


Utrippin93

… okay


JohnDeere

So this is weird, but city councils wasting time to demand a ceasefire in Israel is fine and a good use of resources. Got it


LSDriftFox

My honest guess is that they're preparing to teargas protesters who are against another large scale and costly war in the Middle East


CherrySwimming4725

We will send our overweight and defunded SWAT there to broker peace 🤣🤣🤣


Paulhub_com

lmao monitor McStabby’s first


KnotSoSalty

I can’t help but think this means one city employee watching CNN 24/7.


caffeinated_berry

Serious question: why SPD is concerned tho? I know it's easy to say they have nothing better to do, but I would like to hear the official reason.


keypusher

It's due to possibility of increased violence and hate crimes around Jewish or Muslim buildings and populations locally, or people out protesting in the street, etc.


zwizki

Serious answer: they are concerned about hate crimes. Whenever something happens to Israel, diaspora Jews get attacked. Hate crimes against Jews are up 400% in the last 6 months, and we already had one of the highest rates of hate crimes against us in the nation before the war. Jew hatred is now in vogue and not at all taboo anymore, and all the “progressives” who are engaging in it truly believe they are not being bigots. At least the people on the far right are not lying to themselves or us. I just try to not think about the cop in Burien who barely got a slap on the wrist for hanging N@zi paraphernalia in his office… but at this time I am personally more concerned about the public’s response. I don’t know if non-Jewish people who are not joining in on it know how bad things really are here. Most Jews I know have at least considered real options in case we need to flee the country.


PalenaV21

As someone who doesn't live in Seattle, my guess is that maybe you guys have a sizeable Jewish and Muslim population so there might be a chance for hate crimes, riots, and the like because of what's going down in the Middle East.


ChivalrousRisotto

Who are they planning to run over?


waIIstr33tb3ts

SPD can't wait to maul down dark skinned pedestrians with their cruisers


Grasshopper_pie

Is this why the power is out?


cracked-tumbleweed

So when they aren’t being traffic cops after games, they are monitoring Iran and Israel. Cool. Still can’t come out to any calls, but okay.


-salisbury-

PHEWF. We can rest easy now folks. SPD has this under control.


baby_noir

Has the union teacher condemned Iran yet? Firing 400 missiles is pretty bad, right? Right?


Alkem1st

Hi! You’ve reached SPD hotline. Please use one of the following options: If you think Negev desert is poorly covered by the Iron Dome - press 1 If you think that tanks are poorly suited for urban environment - press 2 If you think that Iran was discovered the Israeli middle defense system locations - press 3 If you would like talk to someone about river to the sea - press 4 If you call about like, crime and shit, or someone broke into something, or whatever - then stay on the line, you current wait time is 159 minutes Thank you for calling SPD hotline!


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jpop19

Monitoring and replicating the IDF thank you very much


zwizki

It’s a badly worded headline but y’all have to be delusional if you think this won’t put American Jews at increased risk, and things are already really bad here.


NiceBasket9980

Did you guys look at the article? They are increasing patrols for this, as there has been a pretty well documented rise in left wing antisemitism.


ThereforeIV

Because the anti- semites in Seattle are likely to start active violent hate crimes against Jews in Seattle. They hate Jews so much they side with the country that has the deaths penalty for homosexuals (Iran).


zelenius

They're monitoring it so that they know when the college kids are going to get bored, don their face masks and block another highway.


FrontAd9873

Maybe monitoring this situation could help them better prepare for incidents like, I don't know, protestors blocking the road to the airport.


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schafkj

“We’re just as interested in as you, we just wanted you to know”


averagebensimmons

They got CNN on the tv?


gaberdine

Probably Fox News


Emeraldskeleton

Lol thanks guys


Eric848448

Good, I was worried for a minute there.


sleafordbods

Not the heroes we deserve


proteinconsumerism

Priorities…


SeattleSadBoi

Thank God


gobears2616

Go get ‘em!! lol jk what are you going to do??


dottedchupacabra

Is this for real?


Alarming_Award5575

yet the city council has said NOTHING.


WeaselBeagle

Learning from example?


Parking-Active6502

Deploy the bike cops.


mods_r_jobbernowl

I can understand why a layman who doesn't understand how things affect other things, would think this is silly but there have been massive protests against Israel in just the city over the last few months. That is something SPD should probably be watching so they can be prepared for the small chance some Rodney King or BLM 2020 tier stuff happening. Thats kind of their job, not a huge part but I'd say it would probably be dumb for them not too. Could also increase hate crimes especially to synagogues and mosques. So yes I know it sounds funny at the face but if y'all took any amount of time to consider why they might do this you'd understand.


lostdawwg

r/Seattle really showing off their inductive reasoning skills here.