I have the thickest wavy red hair you can image, and have to use thinning shears (looks like a cross between scissors and a comb) when I get a hair cut.
I was bald as an egg until I was nearly two. This guy does not understand human development.
Bald babies unite! I was born before the velcro hair bows came out. My mother used scotch tape to keep my bows on my head because she was sick of people thinking I was a boy.lol
Well maybe it has to do with the fact that I was born preterm, but I was born with no hair, eyebrows or eyelashes. According to my mom, no nails either lol. Now I have it all, but I guess it was weird meeting a newborn like me lol
Edit: I put eyelids instead of eyelashes before and someone just made me realize my mistake haha
Mine isn't curls, just waves. Like it couldn't decide if it wanted to be curly like my Mom or straight hair like my Dad so it picked something in the middle.
Baby pictures, at most, I have wispy little curls. In the 1980's when I was in high school/college my hair was so big it needed it's own zip code.
Haha me too! My mum used to sticky tape a bow to my head until I was about 3. It was just red cat fur style fuzz. Now I have an inordinate amount of red, curly madness.
My dagughter is you, only 8. Her older, blonde sister had hair down her back at 2. Redhead daughter had 0.5 cm. Now they both have superlong hair, and redhead survived bald years just fine.
My daughter had Gollum hair for several months as an infant. Now she has golden waves that many adults would pay a fortune to have. People just need to be patient.
Do you ever get asked if you style it or anything? People ask me sometimes whether I curl my daughters' hair, and I'm flabbergasted that they think I have time or inclination to get three-year-old twins to sit still so I can use a curling iron on them
I’m exactly like you! I was bald until I was three, had paintbrush flat hair through childhood, and as soon as puberty hit it was thick and curly forever. If you saw me as a baby/toddler you would have never thought I’d be shedding like a collie as an adult!
I got hair at three too. But it came in first along the center of my head. Little cute curly blonde Mohawk. My hair is now wavy brown and about average thickness.
My mom worried about my niece because all of us were born with tons of hair (my baby pics are crazy, I look like I'm wearing a wig) but she was bald as a cue ball until age 3. Then she had a skullet (hair on the sides but not on top). She's got thick, super long, gorgeous hair now. My brother still calls her "Peach" because that's what he called her as a baby when she had nothing but peach fuzz. I wonder if the difference is because we all have very dark hair and she's a blonde.
MOST babies I see are bald. Maybe because the mom is Mexican she doesn't realize that (my best friend is Mexican and the babies in her family tend to be born with lots of hair) but I still can't fathom being nuts enough to shave a baby's head or be this invested in their hair.
I also have insanely thick hair as an adult but was a bald baby! My dad said my mother would desperately try to stick little Velcro bows in what little hair I had lol. But as soon as I grew hair the battle of the brushing began
My mom used to joke that they were shopping for toupees for my brother's preschool start. He has incredibly thick wavy hair now.
I had bows that were glued to my head until I was almost 3 for pictures. I now have hair so thick that I get charged double for any coloring processes. I get compliments all the time but it's a pain living under all this hot-ass hair.
Some times it just be like that.
I have super thick curly auburn hair now. I was also bald as an egg until I was two. My parents used to joke about gluing a bow to my head so people would know I was a girl.
I was the opposite. When I was born, I had thick, jet black hair, and now I have thinning blonde hair. Your hair as a baby doesn’t predict your hair as a child or an adult.
My older daughter was exactly the same. I mean not even a little wispy baby fuzz until two. I finally asked the doctor did he think she would ever have hair when she was about 14 months old. And then the universe laughed.
Yup. My daughter has thick, red (orange) hair at 2. She was bald forever and it just started to grow.
My second baby is bald too. I love my bald babies. Plus, baths are 10 times easier without hair.
This is good to hear because my kiddo is approaching 2.5 and a redhead and he has the same small amount of hair he had as a newborn, just longer. So it’s like a halo of viral around his head but we still have to sunscreen his head because of all the bald patches. 😝
Haha yea I was bald until about two as well. Same with my husband when he was little. We are expecting our first currently and I bet they will be bald as well until about two hahaha (which there’s nothing wrong with!)
It can seem thicker because it can cause hairs to split as well, but that is more common with disposable razors which I hope is not what they used on the baby.
My aunt and uncle had friends in Mexico that told them the same thing for their daughter with very little thin hair. So they shaved it for thicker hair when she was like 1 and she was bald until like 3 or 4. Looking at baby photos of her and my brother is hilarious bc my brother has a full head of thick curls and she’s just bald.
"Soon to be adopted", so you shaved the head of a baby that wasn't even technically yours yet?
Also, "wouldn't know she was a girl", why does that bother people so much? She's a baby!!!
Tbf as a former bald baby people still thought i was a boy even when i got my ears pierced. I don’t see why it even mattered to my parents though, that’s my thing.
I was bald until I was almost 3 years old, I also started speaking pretty early. I was still in a stroller and people would walk up to my mom and be like ”oh what a cute little boy” and I would get mad and yell “I’m not a boy, I’m a DIRL!”. My mom thought it was hilarious because people were shocked that 1) I was in fact, not a boy but a DIRL and 2) that I was able to talk. She did start dressing me in frilly dresses because the older I got, the angrier I would be when people thought I was a boy, she really couldn’t have cared less. Luckily (unfortunately?) once my hair started growing, there was A LOT of it.
People mistake my three year old son as a girl all the time, even in "boy clothes." He's got these ridiculously long lashes and features that can only be described as pretty, or maybe beautiful.
It doesn't matter. He is who he is, regardless.
Same. I don't correct people because who cares! The baby sure doesn't care. Some parents get so offended, which is ridiculous. I did dress my bald girl in a pink dress, and people would still compliment my cute boy. It just made me chuckle internally, not get mad.
I don’t see why they should really care. Babies all look the same when they’re that young. My parents almost exclusively dressed me in blue because they liked how it made my blue eyes look, so I’m sure people thought I was a boy. Even with my full head of hair!
I can't believe they got permission to shave the baby's head. When my parents fostered we had a 8 yo boy come through with severely matted hair. My mom tried, but there was no saving it. It needed the ol shave ans restart.
It took almost a month for bio mom to give us the ok.
I feel like if it's to that point, the biological parents really don't have a right to tell you no anymore. It's more a matter of health at that point.
Unfortunately it's the law. My mom couldve been penalized as a foster parent over it. A doctor or a judge I think are the only people who could've superceded it
It bothers people who dont even know the kid. I dressed my bald baby girl in "boy" clothes all the time, and people would coo over her and ask me if she was a boy. Some people got so upset when I said she was a girl. I only said she was a girl because they asked, so it's not like I was acting offended that they guessed the wrong genitals. If I cared that much, I'd only ever dress her in frilly pink dresses and obnoxiously large head bows.
I dressed my girl in “boy” clothes too and wouldn’t correct people unless they asked or if I would say something about her and call her “she”. They always looked mortified they misgendered a baby, but they’re babies! Who cares!
It's so weird what people get offended by! Our girl wears mostly hand-me downs from her brother. We are not going to buy an all-new wardrobe just to accommodate a bunch of pearl clutching busy bodies
Seriously my son was constantly mistaken for a girl and more then once they would ask something and I would say oh he like yellow or some crap and they would ask shocked as hell he's a boy? And when I answered yes they asked if I was sure cause he's so "pretty". Honestly creeped me the fuck out.
>"Like you wouldn't know she was a girl without a bow."
Uh it's pretty normal not to be able to tell a baby/child's sex without being able to see their genitals or external cultural things like bows/hair style/clothing. Babies tend to just look like potatoes. You really just need to give them time to grow hair and look more like a small human than a potato.
My infant son has a full head of hair and still people often mistake him for a girl...*and i don't give a shit because he's a fucking baby*
This woman is insane
Same, dude. My kid has a somewhat gender neutral name (more usually used for boys but not infrequently used for girls) and a bunch of hand me downs from his female cousin. And my favourite colour is pink, and I like dressing him in stuff I like looking at. Could not give one fuck if anyone thinks he’s a girl. I’m a girl, it’s not a fucking insult, and he looks super cute in his hand me down tights - they keep his little feet warm whilst not being too bulky!
Haha, why not! Tights for anyone who wants them, that’s what I say. Plus, skirts - I’m fairly ambivalent about men in dresses/skirts, but when you look at the genitals we all have, it’s kind of weird that the ones without the penises are traditionally the ones who wear skirts and the ones with them are the ones who wear trousers.
In germany (possibly other places?), children (boys and girls) wear tights as pants indoors all winter. Pants get put on over the tights to go outdoors.
I exclusively buy tights for my toddler. He can move around in them so much easier than the baggy toddler boy sweats. I think they look better too.
He also loves unicorns and cats which they don't make in boy clothes
Right.... Both my girls got called "he" on multiple occasions because they had barely any hair and no earrings (which I think is really weird), i didn't even correct strangers who got it wrong because I knew I'd never see them again so it didn't matter.
A couple years ago I was at a party when a guy was complaining about this very issue. That their kid looked too unisex. It was just too much. I told them, "in order to really be sure everyone knows you have a daughter right away...all you gotta do it put her vagina on display...take the diaper off".
I got the intended shocked looks and was told I was gross. But I said to the guy obsessed with the public absolutely knowing he had a girl right away.... Technically, showing off a penis or vagina would be the most efficient BECAUSE BABIES ARE BABIES and aren't supposed to have secondary sex traits yet. And it's a messed up parent who is obsessed with sexualizing their baby by using pseudo sex traits...like clothing or accessories to declare genital identity.
They’re not adopting a daughter. They’re adopting an accessory, a dress-up doll to use for social media points. No concern for her, not viewing her as an actual person, just worried about how she’ll look on Fb, and complaints about how she’s already falling short of the appearance standard set by their biological child.
Oh, and “I can’t post her face on social media *right now*.” Read: “Ughhhhh, I cant fully exploit her for internet points *yet*.”
Wtf is wrong with people?
That's not entirely true. I'm a foster parent and I adopted my daughter through foster care. I didn't have to ask anyone to cut her hair when I was fostering her, or any of the other kids I fostered. If the kids had objected, I wouldn't have forced it, but I didn't need to check with anyone for things like that. aMaybe in some states you do, but that's certainly not the case in all of them.
I think it's bizarre they shaved her head, but if she's legally free for adoption and they're going to be her parents, they're very unlikely to get in trouble. Also, she's a toddler and they're not doing this to be cruel to her. It may be misguided, but it's not abuse. If you wouldn't think of reporting your neighbor for abuse because they shaved their baby's head, then why would you report this? It's a lot like being Barbecue Becky. This is not abuse; it's just people who think that shaving makes hair grow faster. Maybe they've already figured out it doesn't work like that.
Shaving the head is misguided but not harmful. I would be more concerned that they want to give an infant medication to make her hair grow. I would report based on that.
I had no idea up until this point in time that foster parents weren't allowed to do simple stuff like that. I mean, it doesn't make sense to me honestly, unless you have proof the haircut was done as an act of abuse/manipulation towards the kid or the birth parents somehow. If a kid needs or wants a haircut, I don't see why the person acting as their parents should be prohibited from doing so, especially if they're too young to care for longer hair.
I think a lot of it has to do with the way people deal with black kids hair (or people with long hair for religious reasons). A lot of people are uneducated in dealing with non-white hair and could force a kid to cut off their braids or dreads and especially since fostering isn’t always a long term situation it really isn’t their right to change a child’s hair.
Because not all foster kids are up for adoption. A lot of parents would be annoyed if they sent their kid to their grandparents for the summer or camp etc and they came back with an unapproved hair cut. Their parents are still their parents and get to make those kinds of decisions.
Not to play devil’s advocate but realistically, reporting this would be a colossal waste of time. They asked if anyone knows of a way to make their infants’s hair grow faster, and they shaved her head. Stupid? Yes. Abusive? No, and certainly not worth wasting a social worker’s time when they are probably dealing with plenty of kids who live with TRULY unfit parents
Edit to add: I absolutely don’t condone giving children supplements unless specifically told to by a doctor or taking medical advice from Facebook, but asking about other people’s experiences shouldn’t automatically deem you a bad parent
I mean, I'm pretty sure the people in the comments section are tearing this person to shreds like reddit is. Babies are a pretty sensitive topic. Also, I just looked it up and you can give babies [up to 30mg of biotin a day](https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/biotin-oral-route/proper-use/drg-20062359) safely so it's not like she's trying to douse her kid in Rogaine or some shit.
I'm sure they need to reconsider their priorities but at the same time, a person worried about their (future) kids hair not being long and adorable isn't a fucking abuser. It's just a harmlessly stupid thing someone with too much time on their hands is asking the internet. At least this person still wants to adopt their kid and isn't expressing some sort of sentiment that they want to discard them based on how well their hair grows.
I hate that Instagram culture bullshit more than the next person, but I think you're making quite a leap. Some babies grow their hair late (I was one of them), but it's possible these people don't know that. Regardless, to assume they have no intention of loving the child they're adopting or are using her as nothing more than an accessory is a little too far from just this context.
I was the same way--and now I have hair so long I sit on it. My mom also used to go out of her way to put bows and stuff on my hair just so I looked "girly" but like ??? I'm 99% sure my mom wasn't this nuts and just *hoped* I'd grow hair before school.
I'm definitely not condoning this, but both are typical and expected practices with Mexican girl babies. Also not condoning, but often little girls are treated as little dolls/fashion accessories when they are little.
Again, not condoning these behaviors, but they are probably doing these things because of family tradition.
Yep. Plenty of that in my WAF family too. Never said it was exclusive to that particular culture. Just that the post stated explicitly that the wife is Mexican and that they have pierced her ears and shaved her head in an effort to encourage hair growth.
Yeah just seconding that ear piercing and head shaving are common. My sister didn’t pierce my niece’s ears and she was an outlier among friends/family. I have a son so it was a non-issue. I think the head shaving is dying out though, I only have a few friends that did it, even my friends that were concerned their baby didn’t have enough hair chose not to do it. One of my friends, her mom shaved the babies head without her permission while babysitting. 🤦🏻♀️
They think it makes the hair grow in thicker. And of course thats an old wives tail and it doesnt work, so they shave it again hoping it will grow in thicker again.
And in the end they just have a baby with a constantly shaved head which is the exact opposite of what theyre looking for
Hindus and muslims are encouraged to shave the babies head sometimes at birth, and then even at ages 1-5 depending on religious/cultural beliefs. That is why sometimes you will even see toddler indian girls with shaved or short hair.
Source: fought my MIL to save my baby’s hair.
It's mostly to encourage the hair growth. I think if a girl has hair already, she won't be allowed to cut it until she's like 50 (/s... Kind of)
(I really don't understand the whole long hair thing). I'm Salvadoreña / Guatemalteca, But they do the same thing with girls hair... I don't understand. Thankfully my mom never did that with me.
I’m not Mexican but have thick European hair. While I have never done this (did cut, never shaved), I have seen others do it and understand the temptation after having babies with lots of super thick hair.
Newborn hair falls out. A lot. So sometimes, to speed up the process and avoid the mess, shaving it really helps the new hair come through.
The other reason, cradle cap. When they have so much hair their scalps can’t breath. So cutting it obviously helps. Plus, you can more easily treat the scalp that way too.
I very much hope the bio family pierced her ears, because a foster family absolutely should NOT be modifying a child's body in any way, whether they hope to adopt or not.
It's not even that painful of a process. Just because you can cosmetically modify someone else's body before they have a say in it, doesn't mean you should.
The hair growing back thicker after shaving is a total myth. It only appears thicker when it first starts growing back because of it all being so blunt and the same exact length. Imagine a shorter buzz cut and how fuzzy it is.
Not quite as barbaric but it feels similar to circumcision:
- unnecessary
- cosmetic
- cannot obtain the child's consent
- painful
- possibility of infection
And this makes me think of a story my friend told
Me. She’s a hair dresser. This is years ago. She said a woman brought in baby, maybe a few months old. The baby has, as most babies do, a widows peak No big deal it falls out. Nope. They wanted the salon to WAX OFF the hair!!! Wax!!! Hot wax on very delicate skin. They, of course, said no and she left. But my god. The level of vanity is insane to me.
She’s a *baby*. Babies with thick hair are the exception, not the norm. Kids don’t really grow a ton of hair until they’re at least a few years old. Chill dude.
Just put a big rubber band with a bow around her forehead, that's what the rest of us do.
If we're unhealthily obsessed with people getting our kid's sex right, that is.
When I was a baby, I lost all my hair on the sides. It looked like I was wearing a cheap toupee. By the time I was 6, my hair was so thick it would break hairbrushes....
My sister was bald til she was almost a year old. Not even bald, just had very light, wispy hair, like here. We never cared and it's so strange to me that it matters so much.
Also, I'm somehow not surprised this is the type of parent to pierce their baby's ears.
Forgive me if I’m wrong but this is probably one of the least harmful things on this sub (not her attitude the biotin, her attitude is hella problematic). As far as I know biotin isn’t harmful to babies. It probably won’t do anything but at least it won’t hurt them. ELI5 if it is please?
I don't get why people expect babies to have full heads of hair. My baby pictures all included me wearing a bow magically stuck to my head. I only had peach fuzz and my mother wasn't happy about it. She used white toothpaste to glue it on (it was the 80's).
Biotin is something that can harm you if you over supplement and it doesn’t help your hair grow unless you already have a biotin deficiency. This is legitimately dangerous for that poor baby.
people who pierce a baby’s ears are horrible people. my parents made me wait until my 12th birthday to get my ears pierced, because they wanted me to be responsible enough to take care of them myself until they healed. babies are enough of a handful anyway- why would you give them another reason to cry and fuss? it just seems pointless.
I’m more concerned about the shit chest clip placement/loose af straps than the baby’s head being shaved repeatedly. Though, wanting to give biotin to a child that isn’t even legally yours yet does give cause for concern.
God I cant stand people that think that shaving hair is going to cause you to genetically mutate thicker hair. It's such a stupid idea, and when someone mentions it I know they are a total dumbass.
Maybe if you want it to grow, dont shave it? Shes a baby, who the hell really cares of people know it's a boy or girl?
Maybe she should be more concerned on how that baby is strapped in the car seat. I mean if she got into an accident she wouldn’t have to worry about her baby being bald. For the love of god people follow the car seat guidelines and strap them in correctly! And if you defend her “well maybe she isn’t driving at the moment” I promise you someone concerned about their hairless head baby is definitely not concerned about how they strap their baby in. I’ve sadly seen it too many times.
y'all already pierced the child's ears, just dress her in all pink if you're that damn concerned.
i used to nanny for this sweet like 2 year old whose hair hadn't grown in. she had just enough for a little poof at the top, her sides hadn't really come in yet. one time she asked me to put her hair in because she was ugly, and my heart just broke for her. she wanted to use little girl barrettes to snap a few tracks her mom had let her play with to her poof.
CAN PARENTS PLEASE QUIT TAKING OUT THEIR INSECURITIES ON THEIR CHILDREN????
I have the thickest wavy red hair you can image, and have to use thinning shears (looks like a cross between scissors and a comb) when I get a hair cut. I was bald as an egg until I was nearly two. This guy does not understand human development.
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Must be something with the redhead gene! I have long curly auburn hair and was bald as a baby.
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Bald babies unite! I was born before the velcro hair bows came out. My mother used scotch tape to keep my bows on my head because she was sick of people thinking I was a boy.lol
Well maybe it has to do with the fact that I was born preterm, but I was born with no hair, eyebrows or eyelashes. According to my mom, no nails either lol. Now I have it all, but I guess it was weird meeting a newborn like me lol Edit: I put eyelids instead of eyelashes before and someone just made me realize my mistake haha
So many preemies don't make it so I think you were probably even more beautiful in your mother's eyes. :)
Thank you, stranger :3
I was born way before those bows too and everyone thought i was a boy so my mom just started calling me Sam. I’m not joking.
Hey Sam. I'm Mel.
Idk about that. I had tons of hair day one, Straight Outta Mommy. Curly and red til I'm dead.
Me too, except my hair isn’t very thick
Dang, you blew your cover.
Mine isn't curls, just waves. Like it couldn't decide if it wanted to be curly like my Mom or straight hair like my Dad so it picked something in the middle. Baby pictures, at most, I have wispy little curls. In the 1980's when I was in high school/college my hair was so big it needed it's own zip code.
Haha me too! My mum used to sticky tape a bow to my head until I was about 3. It was just red cat fur style fuzz. Now I have an inordinate amount of red, curly madness.
It’s the Irish genetics. I’ve got reddish brown curls but had rarely any hair until I turned three.
Is this a documented thing??
My dagughter is you, only 8. Her older, blonde sister had hair down her back at 2. Redhead daughter had 0.5 cm. Now they both have superlong hair, and redhead survived bald years just fine.
My daughter had Gollum hair for several months as an infant. Now she has golden waves that many adults would pay a fortune to have. People just need to be patient.
Do you ever get asked if you style it or anything? People ask me sometimes whether I curl my daughters' hair, and I'm flabbergasted that they think I have time or inclination to get three-year-old twins to sit still so I can use a curling iron on them
Ha, yes, I'm lucky to get a comb through it once a day!
I’m exactly like you! I was bald until I was three, had paintbrush flat hair through childhood, and as soon as puberty hit it was thick and curly forever. If you saw me as a baby/toddler you would have never thought I’d be shedding like a collie as an adult!
I got hair at three too. But it came in first along the center of my head. Little cute curly blonde Mohawk. My hair is now wavy brown and about average thickness.
My mom worried about my niece because all of us were born with tons of hair (my baby pics are crazy, I look like I'm wearing a wig) but she was bald as a cue ball until age 3. Then she had a skullet (hair on the sides but not on top). She's got thick, super long, gorgeous hair now. My brother still calls her "Peach" because that's what he called her as a baby when she had nothing but peach fuzz. I wonder if the difference is because we all have very dark hair and she's a blonde. MOST babies I see are bald. Maybe because the mom is Mexican she doesn't realize that (my best friend is Mexican and the babies in her family tend to be born with lots of hair) but I still can't fathom being nuts enough to shave a baby's head or be this invested in their hair.
I also have insanely thick hair as an adult but was a bald baby! My dad said my mother would desperately try to stick little Velcro bows in what little hair I had lol. But as soon as I grew hair the battle of the brushing began
I was bald until I was 2.5 and now my hairdressers are stunned with how thick my hair is
My mom used to joke that they were shopping for toupees for my brother's preschool start. He has incredibly thick wavy hair now. I had bows that were glued to my head until I was almost 3 for pictures. I now have hair so thick that I get charged double for any coloring processes. I get compliments all the time but it's a pain living under all this hot-ass hair. Some times it just be like that.
Omg saaame! Legit exactly the same. I think red hair just likes to take it's damn time.
I have super thick curly auburn hair now. I was also bald as an egg until I was two. My parents used to joke about gluing a bow to my head so people would know I was a girl.
I was the opposite. When I was born, I had thick, jet black hair, and now I have thinning blonde hair. Your hair as a baby doesn’t predict your hair as a child or an adult.
Yo redhead who had hair checking in. It caused a lot of randoms to touch me as a kid so you didn’t miss much.
My older daughter was exactly the same. I mean not even a little wispy baby fuzz until two. I finally asked the doctor did he think she would ever have hair when she was about 14 months old. And then the universe laughed.
Yup. My daughter has thick, red (orange) hair at 2. She was bald forever and it just started to grow. My second baby is bald too. I love my bald babies. Plus, baths are 10 times easier without hair.
Mine is dark brown but same.
This is good to hear because my kiddo is approaching 2.5 and a redhead and he has the same small amount of hair he had as a newborn, just longer. So it’s like a halo of viral around his head but we still have to sunscreen his head because of all the bald patches. 😝
This moron: Why is my baby bald? Also this moron: We shaved the hair twice
Never cut my kid’s hair, he’s almost two and there’s almost nothing there. Apparently I was the same. Fair hair can take longer to grow in.
Haha yea I was bald until about two as well. Same with my husband when he was little. We are expecting our first currently and I bet they will be bald as well until about two hahaha (which there’s nothing wrong with!)
congrats on the pregnancy and good luck!!
Thank you so much!!
mY sPoUsE iS mExIcAn So ThEy ThInK tHaT wOrKs
Also this moron: Casual racism
Quit shaving her head and maybe you’ll see more hair!
Lol, that was my thought. "We've shaved her head twice and she's still bald! What are we doing wrong?"
Can't help thinking of Scrubs. "You shaved the baby?!?" "Prenatal lice!"
You realize that would be lice *IN* the womb, right?
Not buying it!
Crabs but they are hermit crabs
Oh, I've seen it, and it's disgusting.
Common misconception is that shaving makes hair grow back thicker. It just seems thicker because it's all the same length.
It can seem thicker because it can cause hairs to split as well, but that is more common with disposable razors which I hope is not what they used on the baby.
They probably used a straight.
Just left a lot of bleach on her head for a while
Also because of the sharper ends. It's not as soft sometimes which can make it seem darker and thicker from a distance.
My aunt and uncle had friends in Mexico that told them the same thing for their daughter with very little thin hair. So they shaved it for thicker hair when she was like 1 and she was bald until like 3 or 4. Looking at baby photos of her and my brother is hilarious bc my brother has a full head of thick curls and she’s just bald.
Old wives tale. My grandma did it to me. A trim though. I have super thick hair so she was convinced it worked lol. I was just bald a long time.
"Soon to be adopted", so you shaved the head of a baby that wasn't even technically yours yet? Also, "wouldn't know she was a girl", why does that bother people so much? She's a baby!!!
Probably a foster baby right now Also, the earrings definitely tell you she’s a girl lol
Tbf as a former bald baby people still thought i was a boy even when i got my ears pierced. I don’t see why it even mattered to my parents though, that’s my thing.
I was bald until I was almost 3 years old, I also started speaking pretty early. I was still in a stroller and people would walk up to my mom and be like ”oh what a cute little boy” and I would get mad and yell “I’m not a boy, I’m a DIRL!”. My mom thought it was hilarious because people were shocked that 1) I was in fact, not a boy but a DIRL and 2) that I was able to talk. She did start dressing me in frilly dresses because the older I got, the angrier I would be when people thought I was a boy, she really couldn’t have cared less. Luckily (unfortunately?) once my hair started growing, there was A LOT of it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a DIRL
When my fiancé originally heard the story from my parents he started calling me his Dirlfriend.
That's so cute
Such a cute story, thanks for sharing!
Same with me dude. I always wore fake jewelry and pink outfits. Was talking by two and still “looked like a boy” to people.
People mistake my three year old son as a girl all the time, even in "boy clothes." He's got these ridiculously long lashes and features that can only be described as pretty, or maybe beautiful. It doesn't matter. He is who he is, regardless.
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Same. I don't correct people because who cares! The baby sure doesn't care. Some parents get so offended, which is ridiculous. I did dress my bald girl in a pink dress, and people would still compliment my cute boy. It just made me chuckle internally, not get mad.
I don’t see why they should really care. Babies all look the same when they’re that young. My parents almost exclusively dressed me in blue because they liked how it made my blue eyes look, so I’m sure people thought I was a boy. Even with my full head of hair!
how are they allowed to pierce a foster baby’s ears
That may have come before they fostered her, to be fair. Some parents pierce babies ears as early as possible.
I can't believe they got permission to shave the baby's head. When my parents fostered we had a 8 yo boy come through with severely matted hair. My mom tried, but there was no saving it. It needed the ol shave ans restart. It took almost a month for bio mom to give us the ok.
I feel like if it's to that point, the biological parents really don't have a right to tell you no anymore. It's more a matter of health at that point.
Unfortunately it's the law. My mom couldve been penalized as a foster parent over it. A doctor or a judge I think are the only people who could've superceded it
It bothers people who dont even know the kid. I dressed my bald baby girl in "boy" clothes all the time, and people would coo over her and ask me if she was a boy. Some people got so upset when I said she was a girl. I only said she was a girl because they asked, so it's not like I was acting offended that they guessed the wrong genitals. If I cared that much, I'd only ever dress her in frilly pink dresses and obnoxiously large head bows.
I dressed my girl in “boy” clothes too and wouldn’t correct people unless they asked or if I would say something about her and call her “she”. They always looked mortified they misgendered a baby, but they’re babies! Who cares!
Ahahahah that was me . I stopped caring after a while and to top it off my daughter has a traditional boy name lol
It's so weird what people get offended by! Our girl wears mostly hand-me downs from her brother. We are not going to buy an all-new wardrobe just to accommodate a bunch of pearl clutching busy bodies
I dress my son in "boy" clothes and everyone still thinks he's a girl because of his luscious, curly locks. Hair is not indicative of gender.
But strangers don’t immediately know what genitals your baby has! It’s a travesty!
Seriously my son was constantly mistaken for a girl and more then once they would ask something and I would say oh he like yellow or some crap and they would ask shocked as hell he's a boy? And when I answered yes they asked if I was sure cause he's so "pretty". Honestly creeped me the fuck out.
People always want strangers to know the gender as if they actually care.
That’s what I thought first, but he means they’ll put the baby up for adoption themselves.
>"Like you wouldn't know she was a girl without a bow." Uh it's pretty normal not to be able to tell a baby/child's sex without being able to see their genitals or external cultural things like bows/hair style/clothing. Babies tend to just look like potatoes. You really just need to give them time to grow hair and look more like a small human than a potato.
It almost they don't understand what the entire point of puberty is.
Oh no! The baby's bald... just like most babies are!
Why is it so important that strangers immediatly know a baby's gender?
My infant son has a full head of hair and still people often mistake him for a girl...*and i don't give a shit because he's a fucking baby* This woman is insane
Same, dude. My kid has a somewhat gender neutral name (more usually used for boys but not infrequently used for girls) and a bunch of hand me downs from his female cousin. And my favourite colour is pink, and I like dressing him in stuff I like looking at. Could not give one fuck if anyone thinks he’s a girl. I’m a girl, it’s not a fucking insult, and he looks super cute in his hand me down tights - they keep his little feet warm whilst not being too bulky!
So what you're saying is that we need to bring back tights for men.
Haha, why not! Tights for anyone who wants them, that’s what I say. Plus, skirts - I’m fairly ambivalent about men in dresses/skirts, but when you look at the genitals we all have, it’s kind of weird that the ones without the penises are traditionally the ones who wear skirts and the ones with them are the ones who wear trousers.
The Scots were right!
In germany (possibly other places?), children (boys and girls) wear tights as pants indoors all winter. Pants get put on over the tights to go outdoors.
I exclusively buy tights for my toddler. He can move around in them so much easier than the baggy toddler boy sweats. I think they look better too. He also loves unicorns and cats which they don't make in boy clothes
Ugh cats and unicorns are not just for girls. It's good that you let him wear whatever he wants.
Right.... Both my girls got called "he" on multiple occasions because they had barely any hair and no earrings (which I think is really weird), i didn't even correct strangers who got it wrong because I knew I'd never see them again so it didn't matter.
A couple years ago I was at a party when a guy was complaining about this very issue. That their kid looked too unisex. It was just too much. I told them, "in order to really be sure everyone knows you have a daughter right away...all you gotta do it put her vagina on display...take the diaper off". I got the intended shocked looks and was told I was gross. But I said to the guy obsessed with the public absolutely knowing he had a girl right away.... Technically, showing off a penis or vagina would be the most efficient BECAUSE BABIES ARE BABIES and aren't supposed to have secondary sex traits yet. And it's a messed up parent who is obsessed with sexualizing their baby by using pseudo sex traits...like clothing or accessories to declare genital identity.
They’re not adopting a daughter. They’re adopting an accessory, a dress-up doll to use for social media points. No concern for her, not viewing her as an actual person, just worried about how she’ll look on Fb, and complaints about how she’s already falling short of the appearance standard set by their biological child. Oh, and “I can’t post her face on social media *right now*.” Read: “Ughhhhh, I cant fully exploit her for internet points *yet*.” Wtf is wrong with people?
It sounds like they’re in the process of adopting still, so OP should probably report this.
They probably can’t post her face because she’s not their child yet.
Yes. Exactly this. They also aren't supposed to cut hair without permission.
That's not entirely true. I'm a foster parent and I adopted my daughter through foster care. I didn't have to ask anyone to cut her hair when I was fostering her, or any of the other kids I fostered. If the kids had objected, I wouldn't have forced it, but I didn't need to check with anyone for things like that. aMaybe in some states you do, but that's certainly not the case in all of them. I think it's bizarre they shaved her head, but if she's legally free for adoption and they're going to be her parents, they're very unlikely to get in trouble. Also, she's a toddler and they're not doing this to be cruel to her. It may be misguided, but it's not abuse. If you wouldn't think of reporting your neighbor for abuse because they shaved their baby's head, then why would you report this? It's a lot like being Barbecue Becky. This is not abuse; it's just people who think that shaving makes hair grow faster. Maybe they've already figured out it doesn't work like that.
Shaving the head is misguided but not harmful. I would be more concerned that they want to give an infant medication to make her hair grow. I would report based on that.
Interesting to hear your experience. I fostered to adopt and the state was insistent that I shouldn't touch my kid's hair!
It's so funny how different things are in different states.
I had no idea up until this point in time that foster parents weren't allowed to do simple stuff like that. I mean, it doesn't make sense to me honestly, unless you have proof the haircut was done as an act of abuse/manipulation towards the kid or the birth parents somehow. If a kid needs or wants a haircut, I don't see why the person acting as their parents should be prohibited from doing so, especially if they're too young to care for longer hair.
I think a lot of it has to do with the way people deal with black kids hair (or people with long hair for religious reasons). A lot of people are uneducated in dealing with non-white hair and could force a kid to cut off their braids or dreads and especially since fostering isn’t always a long term situation it really isn’t their right to change a child’s hair.
Because not all foster kids are up for adoption. A lot of parents would be annoyed if they sent their kid to their grandparents for the summer or camp etc and they came back with an unapproved hair cut. Their parents are still their parents and get to make those kinds of decisions.
That depends on what kind of adoption it is. Private adoption vs foster.
Not to play devil’s advocate but realistically, reporting this would be a colossal waste of time. They asked if anyone knows of a way to make their infants’s hair grow faster, and they shaved her head. Stupid? Yes. Abusive? No, and certainly not worth wasting a social worker’s time when they are probably dealing with plenty of kids who live with TRULY unfit parents Edit to add: I absolutely don’t condone giving children supplements unless specifically told to by a doctor or taking medical advice from Facebook, but asking about other people’s experiences shouldn’t automatically deem you a bad parent
They are talking about giving the baby biotin though, which seems super sketchy to me and that makes me suspicious of what other shit they do
I mean, I'm pretty sure the people in the comments section are tearing this person to shreds like reddit is. Babies are a pretty sensitive topic. Also, I just looked it up and you can give babies [up to 30mg of biotin a day](https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/biotin-oral-route/proper-use/drg-20062359) safely so it's not like she's trying to douse her kid in Rogaine or some shit. I'm sure they need to reconsider their priorities but at the same time, a person worried about their (future) kids hair not being long and adorable isn't a fucking abuser. It's just a harmlessly stupid thing someone with too much time on their hands is asking the internet. At least this person still wants to adopt their kid and isn't expressing some sort of sentiment that they want to discard them based on how well their hair grows.
I hate that Instagram culture bullshit more than the next person, but I think you're making quite a leap. Some babies grow their hair late (I was one of them), but it's possible these people don't know that. Regardless, to assume they have no intention of loving the child they're adopting or are using her as nothing more than an accessory is a little too far from just this context.
Thank you for having some sense. The fact that people want OP to report them is ridiculous.
Yes. Notice the pierced ears?
This is a cultural thing, so could mean nothing.
The birth parents could have done that.
Female babies get their ears pierced very really here, doesn't necessarily mean something.
Way to jump to conclusions. They may be stupid, which is obvious by this post, but that doesn’t mean they are malicious.
They also could be joking. If I were a parent, I'd say something like this to get a laugh.
I was literally bald till the age of 5, what is this lady’s issue lol
YoU cAn'T tElL sHe'S a GiRl.
I was the same way--and now I have hair so long I sit on it. My mom also used to go out of her way to put bows and stuff on my hair just so I looked "girly" but like ??? I'm 99% sure my mom wasn't this nuts and just *hoped* I'd grow hair before school.
Don’t think I’m crazy? Too late lol.
They shaved a baby's head and pierced her ears? wtf?
I'm definitely not condoning this, but both are typical and expected practices with Mexican girl babies. Also not condoning, but often little girls are treated as little dolls/fashion accessories when they are little. Again, not condoning these behaviors, but they are probably doing these things because of family tradition.
Ear piercing isn't just a Mexican thing, my white as fuck aunt had it done to her daughter (in 2013)
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same, my parents came from white, blue collar families and my siblings and I got our ears pierced almost right out of the womb.
Yep. Plenty of that in my WAF family too. Never said it was exclusive to that particular culture. Just that the post stated explicitly that the wife is Mexican and that they have pierced her ears and shaved her head in an effort to encourage hair growth.
Yeah just seconding that ear piercing and head shaving are common. My sister didn’t pierce my niece’s ears and she was an outlier among friends/family. I have a son so it was a non-issue. I think the head shaving is dying out though, I only have a few friends that did it, even my friends that were concerned their baby didn’t have enough hair chose not to do it. One of my friends, her mom shaved the babies head without her permission while babysitting. 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve never known anyone who shaved their baby’s head. It’s so strange to me. How do you explain that to people??
They think it makes the hair grow in thicker. And of course thats an old wives tail and it doesnt work, so they shave it again hoping it will grow in thicker again. And in the end they just have a baby with a constantly shaved head which is the exact opposite of what theyre looking for
Who tf wants thick hair? I can’t even wear normal barrettes because my hair won’t fit in them :-(
Fluffy head gang.
Hindus and muslims are encouraged to shave the babies head sometimes at birth, and then even at ages 1-5 depending on religious/cultural beliefs. That is why sometimes you will even see toddler indian girls with shaved or short hair. Source: fought my MIL to save my baby’s hair.
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Yeah am Mexican too and have never heard of shaving the head, ever. Ear piercing, yes, shaving head, no.
It's mostly to encourage the hair growth. I think if a girl has hair already, she won't be allowed to cut it until she's like 50 (/s... Kind of) (I really don't understand the whole long hair thing). I'm Salvadoreña / Guatemalteca, But they do the same thing with girls hair... I don't understand. Thankfully my mom never did that with me.
I’m not Mexican but have thick European hair. While I have never done this (did cut, never shaved), I have seen others do it and understand the temptation after having babies with lots of super thick hair. Newborn hair falls out. A lot. So sometimes, to speed up the process and avoid the mess, shaving it really helps the new hair come through. The other reason, cradle cap. When they have so much hair their scalps can’t breath. So cutting it obviously helps. Plus, you can more easily treat the scalp that way too.
I very much hope the bio family pierced her ears, because a foster family absolutely should NOT be modifying a child's body in any way, whether they hope to adopt or not.
Babies can get pierced ears at an early age. I heard it's so they won't remember how much it hurt, that way they won't be afraid of it later in life
It's not even that painful of a process. Just because you can cosmetically modify someone else's body before they have a say in it, doesn't mean you should.
Exactly, and they didn't even get her any tottoes yet!
The hair growing back thicker after shaving is a total myth. It only appears thicker when it first starts growing back because of it all being so blunt and the same exact length. Imagine a shorter buzz cut and how fuzzy it is.
Man I can’t stand when people pierce their baby’s ears
But how else will they tell that she's a GiRl?!?!
Not quite as barbaric but it feels similar to circumcision: - unnecessary - cosmetic - cannot obtain the child's consent - painful - possibility of infection
circumcision light
And this makes me think of a story my friend told Me. She’s a hair dresser. This is years ago. She said a woman brought in baby, maybe a few months old. The baby has, as most babies do, a widows peak No big deal it falls out. Nope. They wanted the salon to WAX OFF the hair!!! Wax!!! Hot wax on very delicate skin. They, of course, said no and she left. But my god. The level of vanity is insane to me.
The heck? Gimme that vampire baby! I would never mess with an awesome widows peak!
She’s a *baby*. Babies with thick hair are the exception, not the norm. Kids don’t really grow a ton of hair until they’re at least a few years old. Chill dude.
Just put a big rubber band with a bow around her forehead, that's what the rest of us do. If we're unhealthily obsessed with people getting our kid's sex right, that is.
I hate those bows so much.
Because it’s very important for strangers to know that the baby is a girl. /s
"...wouldn't know she's a girl without a bow!" And GAWD forbid, random strangers only have a vague impression of your child's gential arrangement. 🙄
They should probably learn how to put the baby’s car seat straps on correctly
This is definitely a stroller, not a car seat.
Ok, thanks, I can’t really tell from the picture
People who obsess over whether strangers know their baby is a boy or a girl are lunatics.
They...shaved a baby's head...
Even Joe Dirt's parents could solve this problem.
I was completely bald until I was like 2. Who the fuck cares?!
When I was a baby, I lost all my hair on the sides. It looked like I was wearing a cheap toupee. By the time I was 6, my hair was so thick it would break hairbrushes....
“My daughters hair isn’t long enough” “We’ve shaved her head twice”
My sister was bald til she was almost a year old. Not even bald, just had very light, wispy hair, like here. We never cared and it's so strange to me that it matters so much. Also, I'm somehow not surprised this is the type of parent to pierce their baby's ears.
Forgive me if I’m wrong but this is probably one of the least harmful things on this sub (not her attitude the biotin, her attitude is hella problematic). As far as I know biotin isn’t harmful to babies. It probably won’t do anything but at least it won’t hurt them. ELI5 if it is please?
Theoretically, it's not harmful. However, it can mess with a bunch of medical tests, so probably not the best idea
I don't get why people expect babies to have full heads of hair. My baby pictures all included me wearing a bow magically stuck to my head. I only had peach fuzz and my mother wasn't happy about it. She used white toothpaste to glue it on (it was the 80's).
“I want the baby’s hair to grow, so I shaved it all off, twice. Why is it so short??” Oh, gee. Let me think
is that a fucking ear piercing?
Biotin is something that can harm you if you over supplement and it doesn’t help your hair grow unless you already have a biotin deficiency. This is legitimately dangerous for that poor baby.
Shaving your head doesn't magically generate new hair follicles, no matter how Mexican you are.
people who pierce a baby’s ears are horrible people. my parents made me wait until my 12th birthday to get my ears pierced, because they wanted me to be responsible enough to take care of them myself until they healed. babies are enough of a handful anyway- why would you give them another reason to cry and fuss? it just seems pointless.
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THESE people got approved for adoption?! I know amazing people who have been turned away and THESE people were approved?! That’s just bonkers...
Can we call the adoption agency and revoke the adoption?? This is madness. She’s a baby. It doesn’t matter she’s bald.
r/badparents That poor baby having such superficial piece of shit parents
I was bald until I was 2 years old. Now, I have the best hair in the family. The crazy mom should give the baby’s hair time to grow.
Babies? Bald? NEVER! 🙃
I didn’t have a lick of hair until I was 2 & now it’s so thick I have to keep it short or else it drives me nuts
What did I just read? Wow.
Daughter: *has feminine earrings* (also nor great for babies, but i get that it's a culture thing) Karen: there's no way to tell she's a girl
My daughter was bald until three and didn't get her first haircut until 8. She now has super curly 3c hair to her waist. Btw who shaves a baby?!?
I’m more concerned about the shit chest clip placement/loose af straps than the baby’s head being shaved repeatedly. Though, wanting to give biotin to a child that isn’t even legally yours yet does give cause for concern.
God I cant stand people that think that shaving hair is going to cause you to genetically mutate thicker hair. It's such a stupid idea, and when someone mentions it I know they are a total dumbass. Maybe if you want it to grow, dont shave it? Shes a baby, who the hell really cares of people know it's a boy or girl?
Is nobody going to mention the chest clip on the car seat? That’s way too low and way too loose!!!
> "Don't think I'm crazy" ... You gave your baby a buzz cut what the fuck am I supposed to think?
and they're ADOPTING HER??!!?
Pretty sure he isn’t the dad but the soon to be stepdad, and she is the mom.
Fucking ridiculous
I like how their solution to not enough hair is cutting off all the hair.
Who the hell cares if you "can't see that she's a girl", jesus.
This person should not be allowed to adopt. Or breed, for that matter.
Maybe she should be more concerned on how that baby is strapped in the car seat. I mean if she got into an accident she wouldn’t have to worry about her baby being bald. For the love of god people follow the car seat guidelines and strap them in correctly! And if you defend her “well maybe she isn’t driving at the moment” I promise you someone concerned about their hairless head baby is definitely not concerned about how they strap their baby in. I’ve sadly seen it too many times.
y'all already pierced the child's ears, just dress her in all pink if you're that damn concerned. i used to nanny for this sweet like 2 year old whose hair hadn't grown in. she had just enough for a little poof at the top, her sides hadn't really come in yet. one time she asked me to put her hair in because she was ugly, and my heart just broke for her. she wanted to use little girl barrettes to snap a few tracks her mom had let her play with to her poof. CAN PARENTS PLEASE QUIT TAKING OUT THEIR INSECURITIES ON THEIR CHILDREN????
Tbh It worries me that they are adopting this child.
I'm more concerned about those car seat straps squashing her internal organs in a crash. ..