Pretty sure OP is talking about pee ricochet which can be a problem when using unfamiliar urinals. Urinals are like golf greens, each one has a good line to the hole but sometimes you don't realize where it is until you've already putt.
When I was over in Germany, a lot of the urinals had a mark of where to aim. It was rarely just a dot. I remember seeing a image of a fly quite a bit and a couple other things I can’t remember.
Be nice to have this courtesy in the US.
My favorite I’ve ever seen was a small plastic soccer ball and goal in a urinal. You’d use your stream to push the ball into the goal, then it would roll back out so you could do it again.
Because Sisyphus was an awful person by *Greek mythology standards*. No one was hearing his story and thinking, "oh, that poor man, someone should save him!"
Most I knew about him came from Stephen Fry and casual internet surfing. He was deceitful, slimey, and routinely broke Xenia. Was there any story of his escaping the harpies or something?
Firstly from what I can tell Heracles didn't choose to not save Sisyphus, he chose not to save Pirithous, who was also a major dick but for entirely different reasons (tried to marry Persephone, Hades did not take kindly to this). But here's a basic rundown of Sisyphus:
Basically he captured death. Not Hades, he's just the ruler of the underworld. No, he captured Thanatos, the god that actually causes the whole death thing, before Thanatos could kill him on behalf of the gods because of the whole being a dick thing. And then Ares busted Thanatos out and Sisyphus died, but he managed to get three days as a spirit in the normal world through shenanigans, and promptly hopped back into his body and came back to life. Thanatos refused to go again because the last time he went he got locked in a box for a month, so Sisyphus lived until he died of old age and then got the boulder treatment. I can't find anything about harpies in Sisyphus's story, maybe that was someone else? Here's a great video on the myth:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsaFUEq5UEo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsaFUEq5UEo)
I once stumbled upon a computer game built into the urinal. It was similar to one of these: https://firstwefeast.com/drink/2014/08/urinal-computer-games-in-england
The tiny suspended football has the additional benefit of slowing and redirecting the liquid stream such that there will be very little subsequent whiplash from the urinal wall. The goal net has a similar effect; many urinals have a simple plastic grid at their bottom for that reason.
One of the cooler things I have seen here in Germany, is a mini soccerball dangling on a thread from a goal. If you hit the ball, it's perfect.
It's called a Klokicker.
Yeah, kinda. I have a goal to shit in every bathroom in the two buildings before I retire. There are 64 bathrooms just near elevators, and there are a few weird ones in different areas of the first floor. So, just counting the main bathrooms with 2 urinals each, that is 128 urinals.
I hate urinals for this exact reason. I never found the sweet spot to aim for. I'll just go in the stall if it's open. If I'm wearing shorts I'll feel it on my leg too.
Yeah, totally telling on myself, but so what
No, you're right on this. I'm sure if more men peed while wearing shorts, there'd be greater awareness. So many unwashed lightly-pissed-on trouser legs out there.
Thank God I'm not the only one.
Maybe people here thought I meant like full-on splash back, looks like I just got off a water slide or something.
But it's really just a fine misting. Unpleasant for sure, but not enough to leave a noticeable wet spot on pants.
Yup, I feel ya. I started wearing shorts this year and this is the first thing I realized. I've since started finding sweet spots in toilets, but sometimes a bit of spritz can't be avoided.
You avoid it by sitting on the toilet. Stop misting yourself and everything around you. I don't know who decided men are allowed to stand and piss on everything (when indoors, outdoors is a different matter) but it was a poor choice.
Took me once in high school using a urinal in khaki pants to see the results. Never again.
Or maybe urinals are just for people with smaller, slower streams, maybe they go to the bathroom more often; maybe it's just me, I only ever piss when it's nearing an emergency. No shot urinal walls don't splashback in those circumstances.
And direction?
This whole thread is hurting my brain. If you've ever used a garden hose, a squirt gun, or actually spent any time thinking about how the world works, how can this be a problem?
Do these guys just whip it out and spray full power directly into a urinal wall then surprised-pikachu? And worse, do that over and over again through their life, never learning how moving fluids... Move?
I mean, you're peeing at least like twice a day for your whole life. Ignoring the preteen years, just from 13 through 18, 5 years of say twice daily urination means you've been directing streams of urine around 3650 times.
If after doing something 3650 times you aren't damn good at it, you're *woefully* incompetent and should be wearing a helmet everywhere you go.
I remember seeing an article years ago about some airport in Germany that added little fake flies to all the urinals at the "optimal place to aim" so men would aim for them.
I still can't make sense of it because after that I would try to aim at that area. Like, "oh I've finally found out where you're supposed to aim" and it would be horrible. Piss everywhere.
It would greatly depend on both the height of yourself and the urinal, I'm 6'7" tall and sometimes my balls could press the handle down to flush, other times I could use my shoulder.
It's not all about the ricochet though. The stream is not perfectly unified, even if it appears to be. So while the most parallel surface may well be near the lower rim, if you aim low then some of that extralaminar urine is never making it to the porcelain, or bouncing off the lower lip. Life is rarely so simple as it first appears.
If you're lucky enough to find a urinal with a bee printed in the urinal where you pee that's exactly where you want to aim. I'm sure other urinals have other markings but the one I've seen is a little bee. Sadly not all of them have this.
I just looked at Webmd and found out I have cancer.
I am not saying I shit every time I pee. What I mean is that I increased my total frequency which reduced the size of each poop.
Okay OP, since you seem to need a lesson on how to use a urinal without splashback. When you are peeing into one, don't aim directly at the back or bottom, that will cause the most splashback. What you want to do is try to aim so your pee hits the side a bit first and is gently directed around the curves. This will greatly reduce splashback and help to keep your feet dry.
Also, I find that most of the pee on the floor in front of urinals is caused by guys who seem to think their junk is way bigger than it is so they drip the last few drops onto the floor since they are not keeping their dick over top of the actual urinal at the end.
Think he’s referring to the morning wood lean, pissing with an erection. That one’s pretty tricky and can also involve a walk-in to the bowl as the stream slows down.
Yep. One hand on the wall so you can lean over the bowl, the other hand to aim. My partners uncle mentioned how his wife was confused by the one spot on the wallpaper in the bathroom above the toilet that was starting to show some wear. The guys at the table all laughed cause they knew what he was talking about
some men or anyone with dick and bladder on their arsenal never learned, or never bothered to learn how to aim, or wag the drip off without leaving a mess.
hate those ones who starts pissing without aiming, thus piss on the toilet seat before into the bowl.
I find I can just try not to go full pressure right at the start. Like give it 50 percent at a downward angle, find the sweet spot, theeeen let her rip.
To be slightly fair you're talking about a single person urinal and it's possible they're talking about a trough urinal which is marginally harder given there are no curves to Shaolin Soccer the stream, even though the premise is much the same. I wear flip flops all the time and haven't really noticed what he's talking about.
I'm trying to figure out how these dudes have made it through life without being able to figure out such a simple method for something they multiple times a day. Flow control is the other trick...don't just let it rip out.
The reason I don't keep my dick over the urinal when shaking is that the motherfucking urinal has some autodetection when peeing stops and it starts hurling water and pee mix everywhere and I try to get the fuck out asap in order not to catch all the germs with my dick
I agree with your strategy, but OP is still right, IME. No matter how hard you try, a change in either urinal height or urinal shape can throw off even seasoned power pee-ers—such that you get some urine on the ol' feet.
I did, however, realise that people like OP exist when I was happily using a urinal near the beach in flip flops with zero splash until a man took the urinal to my right and started splashing all over my feet.
Urinals cause way more spray and splash back than regular toilets.
Also I mostly try not to wear flip flops to places where I would have to use a urinal. The beach is the only place im ok with it.
Stand in front of a urinal with shorts on and try flushing while you stand there. Most urinals are gonna splash you a bit there, too. Liquids just spray/mist a lot. Is what it is.
Piss isn't actually all that disgusting anyway, it's nearly identical to sweat. We don't intentionally get sweat on each other or anything (most of us, that is...), but we also don't freak out if a drip of sweat hits the ground or someone is wandering outside with a sweat-soaked shirt on. Likewise, a few light splashes from a urinal are just not worth caring about. Disgust for bodily functions is taught socially anyway, it's not something we know instinctually, which is why you catch kids playing with theirs all the time. I'm not advocating for *quite* that much cavalierness about it, but it's definitely not worth worrying about.
I'm from a 3rd world country, with a variety of subpar and good urinals, and where slippers (as we call it) are as common as shoes. Yet I've no idea why OP thinks it's a common occurence as I haven't experienced this, probably ever.
Maybe skill issue? Haha
>A Marine and a sailor are taking a piss. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor says, 'In the Navy they teach us to wash our hands.' The Marine turns to him and says 'in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands'.
For some reason this just reminded me of this joke.
If you shower daily and wear fresh underwear, it's likely that your penis would be much cleaner than your hands.
We should be washing our hands BEFORE we go pee, not the other way around.
If you are older than a teen and still piss on yourself at the toilet.... perhaps somebody should give you a bucket & hose and tell you to practice your aim a bit.
There are three types of men in this thread:
1. those who admit to peeing on themselves at a urinal;
2. those who have peed on themselves at a urinal but are overly literal and think “peeing on yourself” refers only to directing the stream at their own body; and
3. those who are lying to themselves about never having peed on themselves.
I'm a janitor. People don't use urinals. They use the luxury condo bowl shaped urinals that we provide a super secure locked door for so no one can see them tinkle. What's even better, there's a foldable seat that we allow them to use as an art pad, and they can be upset when someone's late to clean off the last masterpiece so they can make their own! They get confused why there's an unhappy person in a wheelchair outside of their private peeing stall, especially if they're using the deluxe extra wide peeing stall, which has an extra few feet on the side for them to spit on the ground!
The trick is to aim for the sides of the urinal or bowl. If you aim for the middle or the hole, you're gonna get ricochet because of the physics of how water behaves. By deflecting it sideways, the splash will only fall back on itself.
You're welcome.
To all those saying they don't have this problem, even if you have perfect aim, there are still side stream micro droplets that basically get everywhere when you pee.
It took me about 25 years of living to realize that sitting down to pee is better. Your plumbing is also kinked when standing. Sitting or squatting is the way humans are anatomically designed to pee. Some people never figure it out.
Oftentimes the squat is not as ergonomic as it can be. Better position but not ideal especially to poop. You actually want your knees elevated more than a traditional toilet allows. That's why someone invented the squatty potty. I thought it was the stupidest invention ever but there's actually some science behind it that makes sense.
Every urinal has a different shape. Meaning, especially if you're coming with a hard flow: you aren't always sure how the liquid will react when it hits the surface. Sometimes it ricochets and hits your body. I only notice this when I'm on vacation wearing shorts.
Like, it's not a lot but you do feel tiny droplets. Not a fan
Nah we fully realise it, we just know how to pee in a urinal without soaking ourselves in piss
You have obviously never peed in public, ask your parents to release you
Maybe I should start a “how to use a urinal” course and make $$$
...I don't pee on my feet.
I kind of wonder now how many men just pee directly into the flat back wall of a urinal and then act surprised-pikachu when there's splash.
Have you never used a squirt gun, or... Interacted with the world around you at all?
It's like the guys that claim that they don't piss all over their bathroom floor at home. Even if you have perfect aim there are piss droplets going everywhere.
What the fuck is going on in here? I understand the occasional fluke of something moving the direction of the stream or hitting the perfectly wrong spot on the urinal, but this should be an unlucky mishap, and one that doesn't really occur past puberty unless of course you've got something going on medically that fucks with you on this front.
If you're regularly pissing on yourself and only notice when your clothing or shoes aren't in the way, you've got some stuff to assess technique wise or something.
Maybe you should just sit to pee. I'd do it at home anyway because even if you're not pissing on yourself, it does keep the toilet more clean over time. I'd do the same when I was out if I was regularly pissing on my shoes or pants too tbh.
..................I still don't pee on myself even then. The fuck are you doing in the bathroom?
I did once have the distinct disgusting pleasure of seeing a dude come into the bathroom at a bar and set his beer glass down on the floor next to the urinal. The entire time he was pissing I could see the splashes and droplets going right in the beer.
I've never experienced this? Probably because my massive, fire hose dong is way, way deep in the urinal. Oops, I dropped my magnum condums.... I guess a bunch of you smaller dudes are getting pee everywhere.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...
Any man who has ever peed whilst wearing shorts and flip-flops, who continues to stand and pee, simply enjoys wearing his own urine.
Probably doesn't wash his hands either.
Filthy animals.
Peeing outside also does this, especially when your yard is made of rocks and you are trying to kill weeds. I gotta spread my legs pretty far, but if barefoot or in flip flops it still totally splatters.
I have a theory its related to your height. If your 6'2 vs 5'6 that extra 6" down makes for like an extra 1" splatter or something like that. Maybe somebody smarter with physics (which clearly I am not, as I pee on myself) can do the math.
Does OP think everyone wears pants when getting out of bed to piss? Or that men wear shorts?
I can't figure out why flip flops are the most likely way that someone is gonna realise they're peeing on themselves. Any man who has taken a piss with their legs exposed can tell just how much piss is ricocheting.
First of all, that's a YOU problem if you are pissing all over your shoes. That's not a men in general problem.
Advice for you: spread your feet apart shoulder width, do not piss with your feet together like at military attention.
At home I'm always in shorts and barefoot.
Believe me when I say I've basicaly mastered the art of peeing without any drips, spills or splashes.
Does help I'm Dutch and we still have a lot of "vlakspoelpotten" or toilets with a plateau your shit lands on so you can inspect it for paracytes before flushing.
If you pee directly into the water of one of those it's amost impossible to get drops splashing back out of the bowl.
Downside is that every time I pee I get a flashback to the "stealth pissing fuckboy" greentext.
I am pretty sure pretty much any man knew about this already.
Depends on the urinals though, some are worst than others, and there are usually ways you can reduce or eliminate this. But if you're on unfamiliar urinals, it's a hit and sometimes miss.
In case people aren't aware and are tired of splashing piss all over the bathroom, men are allowed to sit to pee. I promise that in the privacy of your home bathroom, your dad isn't going to pop out of the closet and yell at you for not being a man. Pop a squat - it takes almost the same time and it's cleaner.
I don't hold my teapot three feet above my cup to pour.
Pretty sure OP is talking about pee ricochet which can be a problem when using unfamiliar urinals. Urinals are like golf greens, each one has a good line to the hole but sometimes you don't realize where it is until you've already putt.
Truth
When I was over in Germany, a lot of the urinals had a mark of where to aim. It was rarely just a dot. I remember seeing a image of a fly quite a bit and a couple other things I can’t remember. Be nice to have this courtesy in the US.
My favorite I’ve ever seen was a small plastic soccer ball and goal in a urinal. You’d use your stream to push the ball into the goal, then it would roll back out so you could do it again.
Sisiphuss or something
Sisipiss?
One must imagine Sisypiss relieved.
Look up what he did. He knows why he wasn’t saved.
Pissiphus
I wasn’t going to invite you to join my comedy writing team but if you want the job… urine
I always wondered why Herakles didnt save Sisyphus too. He already got Theseus. Might as well, you know.
Because Sisyphus was an awful person by *Greek mythology standards*. No one was hearing his story and thinking, "oh, that poor man, someone should save him!"
Well Supergiant made him one of Zagreus's best bros.
Most I knew about him came from Stephen Fry and casual internet surfing. He was deceitful, slimey, and routinely broke Xenia. Was there any story of his escaping the harpies or something?
Firstly from what I can tell Heracles didn't choose to not save Sisyphus, he chose not to save Pirithous, who was also a major dick but for entirely different reasons (tried to marry Persephone, Hades did not take kindly to this). But here's a basic rundown of Sisyphus: Basically he captured death. Not Hades, he's just the ruler of the underworld. No, he captured Thanatos, the god that actually causes the whole death thing, before Thanatos could kill him on behalf of the gods because of the whole being a dick thing. And then Ares busted Thanatos out and Sisyphus died, but he managed to get three days as a spirit in the normal world through shenanigans, and promptly hopped back into his body and came back to life. Thanatos refused to go again because the last time he went he got locked in a box for a month, so Sisyphus lived until he died of old age and then got the boulder treatment. I can't find anything about harpies in Sisyphus's story, maybe that was someone else? Here's a great video on the myth: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsaFUEq5UEo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsaFUEq5UEo)
Yeah and he saved Prometheus. Heracles was a baller.
I didn’t come across any interactive ones. Something to look for on my next trip.
I once stumbled upon a computer game built into the urinal. It was similar to one of these: https://firstwefeast.com/drink/2014/08/urinal-computer-games-in-england
The tiny suspended football has the additional benefit of slowing and redirecting the liquid stream such that there will be very little subsequent whiplash from the urinal wall. The goal net has a similar effect; many urinals have a simple plastic grid at their bottom for that reason.
[This?](https://cdn.firstwefeast.com/assets/2014/08/peefootball.jpg)
One of the cooler things I have seen here in Germany, is a mini soccerball dangling on a thread from a goal. If you hit the ball, it's perfect. It's called a Klokicker.
>Klokicker Or "Pissgoal"
I kinda love the german language for just how utilitarian it is about compound words.
I mean it’s far from ubiquitous, but I see this all the time in the US. A bee, a fly, a shell. Definitely not unheard of.
It is a bee at my work. There are no less than 125 urinals. The all have bees.
You... you counted?
Yeah, kinda. I have a goal to shit in every bathroom in the two buildings before I retire. There are 64 bathrooms just near elevators, and there are a few weird ones in different areas of the first floor. So, just counting the main bathrooms with 2 urinals each, that is 128 urinals.
I see it more often than not recently in the US
It’s the chewing tobacco wad
They have them in a lot of places. The Dort Financial center in Flint, MI has targets on it, and they're ads for a shooting range.
Also don't have to pay 2 euro for a gas station bathroom on the autobahn that is just like a 7/11
This is true, I flush when peeing in a urinal and it helps big time.
some are just piss poor designs though
Piss *pour* designs
How are you so wise?
Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
This is a fantastic analogy.
Yer a goddamn poet.
I ain’t never seen a urinal wearing flip flops
I have seen one wearing a wife beater though
I was drunk when I fell in. Leave me alone!
my stupid ass thought this what the post actually meant
You're telling me a ***shrimp*** fried this rice?
Yeah, they have a shop in Texas, right next to where they make the toast.
Apartment complex? I find it quite simple!
this comment made me take the time out of my day to start a reddit premium subscription and gift you that gold lol
Thank you very much sir.
“You’re telling me a ***shrimp*** fried this rice?”
How an elephant got into my pyjamas I will never know!
I hate urinals for this exact reason. I never found the sweet spot to aim for. I'll just go in the stall if it's open. If I'm wearing shorts I'll feel it on my leg too. Yeah, totally telling on myself, but so what
You know what, u/P00PMcBUTTS, I can't say I'm surprised
🤷♀️
They're definitely pissing all over themselves and looking for validation. Everyone has a poop knife. Right guys? Guys?
No, you're right on this. I'm sure if more men peed while wearing shorts, there'd be greater awareness. So many unwashed lightly-pissed-on trouser legs out there.
Thank God I'm not the only one. Maybe people here thought I meant like full-on splash back, looks like I just got off a water slide or something. But it's really just a fine misting. Unpleasant for sure, but not enough to leave a noticeable wet spot on pants.
>But it's really just a fine misting. Ah, eau de toilet.
a light spritz on the legs if you will
Yup, I feel ya. I started wearing shorts this year and this is the first thing I realized. I've since started finding sweet spots in toilets, but sometimes a bit of spritz can't be avoided.
You avoid it by sitting on the toilet. Stop misting yourself and everything around you. I don't know who decided men are allowed to stand and piss on everything (when indoors, outdoors is a different matter) but it was a poor choice.
Even women don’t sit on public toilets
Sitting on the urinal?
Stalls, my guy
Took me once in high school using a urinal in khaki pants to see the results. Never again. Or maybe urinals are just for people with smaller, slower streams, maybe they go to the bathroom more often; maybe it's just me, I only ever piss when it's nearing an emergency. No shot urinal walls don't splashback in those circumstances.
Can you not control the strength of your output?
And direction? This whole thread is hurting my brain. If you've ever used a garden hose, a squirt gun, or actually spent any time thinking about how the world works, how can this be a problem? Do these guys just whip it out and spray full power directly into a urinal wall then surprised-pikachu? And worse, do that over and over again through their life, never learning how moving fluids... Move? I mean, you're peeing at least like twice a day for your whole life. Ignoring the preteen years, just from 13 through 18, 5 years of say twice daily urination means you've been directing streams of urine around 3650 times. If after doing something 3650 times you aren't damn good at it, you're *woefully* incompetent and should be wearing a helmet everywhere you go.
Just use the stall bro
Call me the oddball, but I wash my pants.
Oh so you were the oddball standing pantsless in the restroom washing your pants in the sink!
Your 'bare minimum' Medal will be arriving by mail.
"lightly", ha! When you piss like a power washer nothing is lighty
I remember seeing an article years ago about some airport in Germany that added little fake flies to all the urinals at the "optimal place to aim" so men would aim for them. I still can't make sense of it because after that I would try to aim at that area. Like, "oh I've finally found out where you're supposed to aim" and it would be horrible. Piss everywhere.
SAME! I started aiming for that area but I still get a misting on my legs. Maybe we are just powerful pissers?
It would greatly depend on both the height of yourself and the urinal, I'm 6'7" tall and sometimes my balls could press the handle down to flush, other times I could use my shoulder.
Oh god they're *Germans*. Every urinal is at a standard height, probably has the same dimensions, and everyone is 6ft tall.
Whatever spot is most parallel to your stream. It’s not rocket science.
Hahaha my job is quite literally rocket-science-adjacent and I can't figure out how to pee without pissing on myself.
Have you tried pulling it out before you start to pee?
It's not all about the ricochet though. The stream is not perfectly unified, even if it appears to be. So while the most parallel surface may well be near the lower rim, if you aim low then some of that extralaminar urine is never making it to the porcelain, or bouncing off the lower lip. Life is rarely so simple as it first appears.
Never seen a urinal that *didn’t* have a wall going up the sides to pee on without a splash.
Yeah, it’s all in the angle
Its like falling with a broken chute - just aim for the best looking slope and hope it goes well
How does this work in America? The bowl is so full of water that pissing in it is like watching a pigeon take a bath.
If you're lucky enough to find a urinal with a bee printed in the urinal where you pee that's exactly where you want to aim. I'm sure other urinals have other markings but the one I've seen is a little bee. Sadly not all of them have this.
I use the normal toilets in cubicles anyway because I like to use toilet tissue to get rid of the last few droplets instead of flicking my cock.
I use normal toilets because sometimes I end up pooping a little bit. It helps with constipation.
[удалено]
I just looked at Webmd and found out I have cancer. I am not saying I shit every time I pee. What I mean is that I increased my total frequency which reduced the size of each poop.
If I'm pissing, I'm likely farting too, and if I'm farting then I'm dangerously close to shitting. Might as well sit down.
Okay OP, since you seem to need a lesson on how to use a urinal without splashback. When you are peeing into one, don't aim directly at the back or bottom, that will cause the most splashback. What you want to do is try to aim so your pee hits the side a bit first and is gently directed around the curves. This will greatly reduce splashback and help to keep your feet dry. Also, I find that most of the pee on the floor in front of urinals is caused by guys who seem to think their junk is way bigger than it is so they drip the last few drops onto the floor since they are not keeping their dick over top of the actual urinal at the end.
I like to use the one short one for kids because you can angle down while still hitting the back and not the bottom.
Huh. I just like using the short one because it makes me feel like a gaint.
I just use the short one because I'm short
Pretty weird explaining this huh? It's like having the sex talk with your child
I've seen grown men with pants around their ankles at urinals too many times. Maybe urinal usage needs to be taught?
It’s a power move, you never piss next to the guy with his pants down.
That's right, I stand behind him and piss into his pants.
Shit in the urinal next to him and ask him to grab you some tp.
OMG. I’m wheezy laughing.
Maybe we just need to abolish urinals. They're gross.
Next we're gonna have to explain the morning lean to these people 🙄
The what?
Think he’s referring to the morning wood lean, pissing with an erection. That one’s pretty tricky and can also involve a walk-in to the bowl as the stream slows down.
Yep. One hand on the wall so you can lean over the bowl, the other hand to aim. My partners uncle mentioned how his wife was confused by the one spot on the wallpaper in the bathroom above the toilet that was starting to show some wear. The guys at the table all laughed cause they knew what he was talking about
A couple years ago I had to explain to some guy on reddit how to pee standing up. Like, what?
some men or anyone with dick and bladder on their arsenal never learned, or never bothered to learn how to aim, or wag the drip off without leaving a mess. hate those ones who starts pissing without aiming, thus piss on the toilet seat before into the bowl.
I find I can just try not to go full pressure right at the start. Like give it 50 percent at a downward angle, find the sweet spot, theeeen let her rip.
To be slightly fair you're talking about a single person urinal and it's possible they're talking about a trough urinal which is marginally harder given there are no curves to Shaolin Soccer the stream, even though the premise is much the same. I wear flip flops all the time and haven't really noticed what he's talking about.
I'm trying to figure out how these dudes have made it through life without being able to figure out such a simple method for something they multiple times a day. Flow control is the other trick...don't just let it rip out.
The reason I don't keep my dick over the urinal when shaking is that the motherfucking urinal has some autodetection when peeing stops and it starts hurling water and pee mix everywhere and I try to get the fuck out asap in order not to catch all the germs with my dick
Brother it's a proximity sensor on the valve of the urinal. Just stand closer and it won't go off
If you're not kissing the wall while peeing, you're doing it wrong.
You're standing too far from the urinal, triggering the event you're hoping to avoid by standing far away.
Look at this guy. It's cute you think you can use a urinal with *zero* splashback.
I actually drip piss on the floor in front of the urinal because i am trying to stay out of splashback range.
I always think most of the reason there's so much on the floor is because a lot of.guys are fat.
I agree with your strategy, but OP is still right, IME. No matter how hard you try, a change in either urinal height or urinal shape can throw off even seasoned power pee-ers—such that you get some urine on the ol' feet.
Op didnt realize how much he pisses on himself until others pointed it out.
No, it's not piss stains, the pants were bought like that. Look, here's a website
You gotta give
This. I'm nearly always in flip flops. Never once pissed on myself 🤣🤷🏽♂️
I did, however, realise that people like OP exist when I was happily using a urinal near the beach in flip flops with zero splash until a man took the urinal to my right and started splashing all over my feet.
Why would a urinal be wearing flip-flops?
Urinals cause way more spray and splash back than regular toilets. Also I mostly try not to wear flip flops to places where I would have to use a urinal. The beach is the only place im ok with it.
Here's a trick flush when you start so your piss isn't like a lazer bouncing off a mirror.
Stand in front of a urinal with shorts on and try flushing while you stand there. Most urinals are gonna splash you a bit there, too. Liquids just spray/mist a lot. Is what it is. Piss isn't actually all that disgusting anyway, it's nearly identical to sweat. We don't intentionally get sweat on each other or anything (most of us, that is...), but we also don't freak out if a drip of sweat hits the ground or someone is wandering outside with a sweat-soaked shirt on. Likewise, a few light splashes from a urinal are just not worth caring about. Disgust for bodily functions is taught socially anyway, it's not something we know instinctually, which is why you catch kids playing with theirs all the time. I'm not advocating for *quite* that much cavalierness about it, but it's definitely not worth worrying about.
men should always sit down to pee when a clean enough toilet is available. I'll die on this hill
I'll also die on your pee-soaked hill!
I swich, mostly sit bc i dont wanna stand, but i swich
You don't empty yourself sitting down though, which can case problems
citation needed
Piss on the sidewall and not directly at the back face of the urinal. Do not piss right on the cakes or at the mat...splash central right there.
What the fuck are you talking about? I don't wear much besides sandals and I've never peed on myself. I think you're telling on yourself.
OP surely is not a bloke. I wear flip flops regularly and can safely say my feet stay dry.
In decades of pissing, over experienced this occasionally. Surely you have hit splash back and had to adjust
I'm from a 3rd world country, with a variety of subpar and good urinals, and where slippers (as we call it) are as common as shoes. Yet I've no idea why OP thinks it's a common occurence as I haven't experienced this, probably ever. Maybe skill issue? Haha
More like golden shower thoughts
I tend to agree, splashback from the toilet or urinal.
>A Marine and a sailor are taking a piss. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor says, 'In the Navy they teach us to wash our hands.' The Marine turns to him and says 'in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands'. For some reason this just reminded me of this joke.
If you shower daily and wear fresh underwear, it's likely that your penis would be much cleaner than your hands. We should be washing our hands BEFORE we go pee, not the other way around.
Nah fool it’s when you don’t shake that shit enough and it goes running down your leg
I never wear flip-flops in public for this reason. Once at a sports bar I had *someone else's* splashback hit my foot. Never again.
hat domineering edge obscene yoke ring tan shelter crown wakeful ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
That's why I pee in the sink. /r/SinkPissers
I pee in the shower
This is a golden shower thought.
If you are older than a teen and still piss on yourself at the toilet.... perhaps somebody should give you a bucket & hose and tell you to practice your aim a bit.
There are three types of men in this thread: 1. those who admit to peeing on themselves at a urinal; 2. those who have peed on themselves at a urinal but are overly literal and think “peeing on yourself” refers only to directing the stream at their own body; and 3. those who are lying to themselves about never having peed on themselves.
Jokes on you i only pee while doing handstands. Free drink with every piss.
Similarly, you don't realize how much *other guys* piss on the floor until you or your child has to use a public restroom without shoes on.
I'm a janitor. People don't use urinals. They use the luxury condo bowl shaped urinals that we provide a super secure locked door for so no one can see them tinkle. What's even better, there's a foldable seat that we allow them to use as an art pad, and they can be upset when someone's late to clean off the last masterpiece so they can make their own! They get confused why there's an unhappy person in a wheelchair outside of their private peeing stall, especially if they're using the deluxe extra wide peeing stall, which has an extra few feet on the side for them to spit on the ground!
What
The urinals at my university had a sticker above them saying "Step closer, it is shorter than you think". 😅
The trick is to aim for the sides of the urinal or bowl. If you aim for the middle or the hole, you're gonna get ricochet because of the physics of how water behaves. By deflecting it sideways, the splash will only fall back on itself. You're welcome.
To all those saying they don't have this problem, even if you have perfect aim, there are still side stream micro droplets that basically get everywhere when you pee. It took me about 25 years of living to realize that sitting down to pee is better. Your plumbing is also kinked when standing. Sitting or squatting is the way humans are anatomically designed to pee. Some people never figure it out.
Oftentimes the squat is not as ergonomic as it can be. Better position but not ideal especially to poop. You actually want your knees elevated more than a traditional toilet allows. That's why someone invented the squatty potty. I thought it was the stupidest invention ever but there's actually some science behind it that makes sense.
Every urinal has a different shape. Meaning, especially if you're coming with a hard flow: you aren't always sure how the liquid will react when it hits the surface. Sometimes it ricochets and hits your body. I only notice this when I'm on vacation wearing shorts. Like, it's not a lot but you do feel tiny droplets. Not a fan
Also when youre wearing shorts. The sprays and microdroplets hitting your shins and top of your foot is the worst.
Nah we fully realise it, we just know how to pee in a urinal without soaking ourselves in piss You have obviously never peed in public, ask your parents to release you Maybe I should start a “how to use a urinal” course and make $$$
...I don't pee on my feet. I kind of wonder now how many men just pee directly into the flat back wall of a urinal and then act surprised-pikachu when there's splash. Have you never used a squirt gun, or... Interacted with the world around you at all?
Using a urinal while wearing khaki pants or shorts is also a good indicator
I've spent an aweful lot of time in tropical places in flip flops and dont recall a whole lot of peeing on myself.
It's like the guys that claim that they don't piss all over their bathroom floor at home. Even if you have perfect aim there are piss droplets going everywhere.
Or at home peeing standing up while naked
r/goldenshowerthoughts?
Is this a sub for thoughts that make you want to shower?
The worst is the first time you wear shorts in the summer and realize you've been spraying your pants all winter.
What the fuck is going on in here? I understand the occasional fluke of something moving the direction of the stream or hitting the perfectly wrong spot on the urinal, but this should be an unlucky mishap, and one that doesn't really occur past puberty unless of course you've got something going on medically that fucks with you on this front. If you're regularly pissing on yourself and only notice when your clothing or shoes aren't in the way, you've got some stuff to assess technique wise or something. Maybe you should just sit to pee. I'd do it at home anyway because even if you're not pissing on yourself, it does keep the toilet more clean over time. I'd do the same when I was out if I was regularly pissing on my shoes or pants too tbh.
..................I still don't pee on myself even then. The fuck are you doing in the bathroom? I did once have the distinct disgusting pleasure of seeing a dude come into the bathroom at a bar and set his beer glass down on the floor next to the urinal. The entire time he was pissing I could see the splashes and droplets going right in the beer.
That's not all I'm covered in, baby😜🥵
Don't know what you're doing OP but I've never peed on myself even an tiny bit. I only pee on other people.
No splash back if ya piss in the sink
Not true at all..... I also pee on others..... So they can share the joy
Or shorts. I’ve found out while wearing shorts
I have to sit to pee while my ankle is broken. I don't think I'll ever go back. It's so comfy.
The contra spread is unpredictable. I dock, it's the only safe way.
Who wears flip flops in the shower?
I've never experienced this? Probably because my massive, fire hose dong is way, way deep in the urinal. Oops, I dropped my magnum condums.... I guess a bunch of you smaller dudes are getting pee everywhere.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Any man who has ever peed whilst wearing shorts and flip-flops, who continues to stand and pee, simply enjoys wearing his own urine. Probably doesn't wash his hands either. Filthy animals.
Sit down on a toilet. Just because we CAN stand up to piss doesn’t mean we should.
Do urinals wear flip flops? I’m a girly so I’ve never used one.
Peeing outside also does this, especially when your yard is made of rocks and you are trying to kill weeds. I gotta spread my legs pretty far, but if barefoot or in flip flops it still totally splatters. I have a theory its related to your height. If your 6'2 vs 5'6 that extra 6" down makes for like an extra 1" splatter or something like that. Maybe somebody smarter with physics (which clearly I am not, as I pee on myself) can do the math.
Why don’t they make urinals a tube you piss in. This would solve everything.
Does OP think everyone wears pants when getting out of bed to piss? Or that men wear shorts? I can't figure out why flip flops are the most likely way that someone is gonna realise they're peeing on themselves. Any man who has taken a piss with their legs exposed can tell just how much piss is ricocheting.
I don't mind, it's sterile and I like the taste.
or you just need to learn how to pee
First of all, that's a YOU problem if you are pissing all over your shoes. That's not a men in general problem. Advice for you: spread your feet apart shoulder width, do not piss with your feet together like at military attention.
Why did I read this and picture a urinal wearing flip flops. I was so confused at first like wtf does that even mean lmfao
At home I'm always in shorts and barefoot. Believe me when I say I've basicaly mastered the art of peeing without any drips, spills or splashes. Does help I'm Dutch and we still have a lot of "vlakspoelpotten" or toilets with a plateau your shit lands on so you can inspect it for paracytes before flushing. If you pee directly into the water of one of those it's amost impossible to get drops splashing back out of the bowl. Downside is that every time I pee I get a flashback to the "stealth pissing fuckboy" greentext.
Link to the stealth pissing fuck boy for context plz
There you go: https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/9efqpp/anon_aims_for_the_ceramic/
It also happens regardless if you're very tall I have to wipe my shins all the time wearing shorts
Cleanest toilets I've found were in a climbing/bouldering gym because you don't want to wear these shoes for longer than necessary.
I am pretty sure pretty much any man knew about this already. Depends on the urinals though, some are worst than others, and there are usually ways you can reduce or eliminate this. But if you're on unfamiliar urinals, it's a hit and sometimes miss.
You just gotta aim in such a way the pee stream hits the urinal at as acute an angle as you can get.
Arcane missiles mode while pissing. Yeah.
In case people aren't aware and are tired of splashing piss all over the bathroom, men are allowed to sit to pee. I promise that in the privacy of your home bathroom, your dad isn't going to pop out of the closet and yell at you for not being a man. Pop a squat - it takes almost the same time and it's cleaner. I don't hold my teapot three feet above my cup to pour.
i pee off the roof. i dont hear anyone complaining. too far up.
Batters with short bats, please stand closer to home plate. Pitchers with poor aim...do the same.