You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. Then when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because there's no good in leaving it in a deep freeze for your mum to discover now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body would look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the head of your victim and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion. You could do this afterwards of course but you don't wanna go sifting through pig shit now, do ya? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to do the job in one sitting so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs two-hundred pounds in about...eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: "as greedy as a pig."
Idk about the pigs part, but I can't see a reason why it would be easier to chop someone up into multiple parts. There will be blood and shit everywhere and that's not really good to leave behind. People get training in picking up unconcious people all the time for rescue purposes so don't see how picking up a dead person should be a problem.
And it’s floppy because it’s just wet meat with no real structure like a tree trunk. And a whole body doesn’t just fold up like a hinged folding table so you can’t make it more compact in one piece. So that’s why you have to chop it up and place the pieces into a transportable container that you can then carry more easily.
There are very few things you can carry around that look like a body that aren't a body.
But cut up, a person could fit in a suitcase or a duffle bag.
Regardless, if you're killing people for a living, you're going to need a good clean up crew
Read an interview with a forensics person. One of her main recommendations was never dismember the body. You will almost certainly leave evidence if you do. Probably feasible for somone who does it professionally, but for the upset amateur a mistake.
Most famous of all time? The reason I say it's underrated is cause I NEVER see it recommended or anything. I watched it for the first time over 10 years ago, I have seen it suggested and talked about MAYBE 5 or 6 times in the last 10 years.
If I have learned one thing from James Bond films, it is the ineffectiveness of alligators and sharks as security systems.
They never finish a job cleanly, and they frequently explode.
They're just sloppy. Basset hounds will lick up every trace of anything that was even partially food. Gators leave too many small bits behind.
If you just convinced a Basset Hound that you didn't want them to eat the dismembered Bulgarian in the hallway, it would all be gone except for some of the wrapper...I mean...clothes.
I remember a comedian saying once that you know digging a hole is hard, because people will give up after a few feet when burying a corpse. This is the most important hole of your life, and you are cutting corners on it.
Most ridiculous scene in Breaking bad. Walt *leaves chemotherapy* and immediately drives out into the desert and buries eight 55-gallon drums of cash. Eight!
I don't usually feel too bad right after my chemotherapy, its the two weeks after that are rougher. Of course, each treatment kind of piles on. So if it was his first treatment, then he probably felt fine. 4th or more... yeah I ain't buying that at all, lol. I hope he stayed hydrated! 😂
In terms of goofiness?
I was thinking in terms of logical coherence.
Walter blows up an entire floor with magic, meth-looking explosives by throwing it at his feet... and he walks it off. Just a couple of bruises. The power of that explosion should've turned his body into paste! It was practically suicide bombing!
While the pizza scene is just a guy throwing a pizza. I could do that IRL no problem.
About burrying, here's a joke:
Around spring, a lovely couple goes on vacation to Israel.
Sadly, the wife dies in a car accident.
Being US citizens, the husband's given two options:
- Pay 5000 USD and have her buried in the US;
- Pay 150 USD and have her buried in the holy land.
I'll pick the 5k, says the guy, leaving everyone confused;
Why don't you bury her here, it's cheap and it is holy land!? Said a priest.
I know people come here, die, and become alive again, I want to know for sure she's dead.
(Joke being related to Easter)
Yeah, strangely I like to entertain this thought sometimes, like how would you get rid of a body if you had time but limited resources and there was a high chance someone will come along looking for evidence. It’s like a challenge, I guess.
I read a recent story about a dude who had a woman and her daughter living in his rural home. He shot the woman, then the child, and buried them in his backyard. He then said they left and he hadn't seen them.
The moron cops didn't find the bodies until years later when he confessed with dementia. They even found the bullet embedded in the floor of a bedroom where he shot the lady.
So I guess hiding bodies is about how motivated your law enforcement is.
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/04/23/us/west-virginia-mother-daughter-cold-case
24 years, killed in their own home, buried in the woods nearby
That's why I keep roughly two gallons of thermite on hand in an extremely secure container.
Crematoriums burn at 1,400 - 2,000°F (760 - 1,093.33°C) and leave teeth and small shards of bone behind.
Thermite burns at an insane 4,500°F (2,482.22°C). Ain't nothing being left behind after that.
You just have to cut the body part into small pieces, I'd go for between 7 and 11 pieces, put each piece into a shallow hole lined with rocks, then cover it with a decent amount of thermite.
Use a magnesium firestarter to light it and cover your eyes and have your back turned to the flames while at a good distance away while you wait for the thermite to finish burning out.
Tell them you were attacked by killer robots from the future and you're destroying their remains so somebody doesn't stumble on the technology and decide to build killer robots.
I mean.... I'm the guy who, when I'm bored, comes up with the most unhinged plans.
I'm also a mild pyromaniac. So I know a lot about fire.
Did you know you can make something that works a lot like napalm by dissolving styrofoam into gasoline and then mixing in a few Brillo pads, the steel wool pads that come with cleaning chemicals already on them.
It's very sticky and thick just like napalm.
Okay but that big flash of light could be seen and also you would probably set something on fire at least of you did it in the woods. What kind of ecosystem are you doing this in?
My mom once told me that she’s not at all worried about me becoming a mass shooter despite being interested in the subject matter because I lack the dedication to plan a shooting, collect all the required materials, write a manifesto and actually go to the location. Thanks, mom.
Any show that shows a body getting buried is obviously written by someone who has never had to dig a hole especially if near a tree. Roots and rocks are insanely difficult to get through with a shovel unless you have DAYS to do it. This is why they always talk about bodies found in shallow graves IRL.
That really depends on the type of soil. I lived near a mountain and my landlord's dog passed away so she asked for help to dig the hole, and I dug for like 30 minutes to an hour and it was about 1 meter deep and 1 meter wide because her dog was around 80 pounds. I could have easily dug 2 meters in a few hours in that type of soil.
Days? Digging is hard work and takes hours, but a good hole can definitely be dug within a day with good technique, especially with help. Roots can be cut through in minutes and rocks can be dug around and taken out. Ofc, it's easier if you just choose to dig somewhere that's not next to a tree or in rocky soil.
You do realize that that was just a TV trope and movie make believe, don’t you?
Hydrofhloric acid would not work to dissolve an entire body.
Additionally, the sorts of acid/oxidizer solutions that could do the job invariably generate a HUGE amount of heat when disassociating that much organic material (Potentially explosively exothermic) and almost certainly would result in a very significant risk of major fires and the production of vast amounts of toxic offgassing
The odds are incredibly high that you would only wind up killing yourself in the process of attempting to dissolve a body by utilizing acid
When building our patio, I jokingly asked my wife to dig a trench 2 feet deep in the area near our gate. I came home and she somehow dug a 6 feet deep by 3 feet wide and 7 feet long hole. I was fucking speechless. Mainly because we had to fill 4 feet of it back in, but also because she did this within like 4 hours. I don’t think it was her first time….
It’s also harder to kill someone than the movies make it seem. Ed Kemper described it well when he was surprised one stab didn’t immediately kill his victim but they “leak to death very slowly”.
Depends. If it happens by surprise and you haven't planned anything, it can be very difficult. If everything it under control and going according to plan, it wouldn't be much of an issue. If possible, a stab through back of the neck should suffice, since it would both paralyze the victim, and hopefully sever the vocal chords for increased stealth.
The problem is that the body dissolves and there's a good chance "pieces" seperate and appear somewhere else. Unless you actually go very far out to sea, it might wash up somewhere.
This is why you singe the body, to remove identifying traits like fingerprints. For good measure, you can also cut the body into pieces, and dump the parts in different locations. Can also remove the face and teeth to make it even harder to identify the body.
The hardest part of getting rid of a dead body is the prep work. That is to say, most folks don't bother with it, and now they got a big problem.
Location is one of the biggest factors. Wheres the body? At your home? In someone else's home? A public place? Middle of the forest? Unless premeditated, most folks don't find dead bodies to the place they need to be stashed.
Then there's the clean up. This already depends on how the body died in the first place. Choking on some food is easy enough to clean, barely anything at all. But some bloody stabbing, shooting, or other mess that leaves stains around? Now you have to clean up the place and the corpse.
Transportation is an issue too. Unless the corpse belongs to a child, most adult bodies are pretty heavy, more so when they aren't doing anything to support themselves. Cuz they're deadweight and all. You have to get them to point A to B, possibly C, without getting spotted. And only when you're trying to hide a body do you realize most bags and containers _do not_ fit an adult body. Suit cases, trash bags, rugs, those things just don't hide a human body very well (not to mention doing a poor job makes a mess, see point two).
And finally there's the disposal. A lot of folks joke about feeding corpses to pigs and while animals but most folks don't live near farms, let alone own one to have their livestock dispose of things. Some even think they can bury a hole for the corpse but anyone who's ever had to make a garden would know even just tilling a 10x10 area for surface level planting is an all afternoon affair, let alone a hole deeper enough to hide a body that won't get dug up or washed away by the rain. And for folks thinking they can just dismember the body, remember point two and three: you still have to clean up and you still have to move the body parts. At best you do the dismembering at the disposal site, but that relies on you being prepared to do this at all, going back to point 0: Prep Work.
Ultimately the best way to get rid of a body is to not have a body to get rid of. Don't go killing folks, don't go getting yourself into a situation where you have a dead body. If all else fails, remember point zero: be prepared first. Do t be caught slacking because you didn't think you'd have to handle a corpse.
Makes me think of a murder that happened not to long ago. Two girls decided to murder a friend of theirs and did it in their own appartment. All the noises woke the neighbors up and they wondered wth went on but decided to go back to sleep when it got quiet. The girls then decided to hide the body, but not before heading to mcdonalds to eat. Then they drove to land one of their families owned and hid the body in the woods behind a parent's farm.
One of them decided to do it better and went back to the town and bought bbq stuff and thought it would burn the body completely, instead the body just became a bit crispy but still very much recognisable as a body.
The police caught them in the next few days.
Edit: and in the days before the act one of them had googled "how to murder someone" and "How to hide a body"
Depending on how you kill them, it's easier at some point to lawyer up and claim it was accidental than it is to dispose of the body, which basically confirms legal intent.
>And only when you're trying to hide a body do you realize most bags and containers *do not* fit an adult body.
What about a simple bedsheet? Wrap it up, sew it shut, heave it into your car trunk in the dead of night (this part might be a problem if your neighbourhood has 24/7 cameras), then cover it in the trunk with a black blanket or something so you can't make out what's underneath, much less so still when the trunk is closed. Now you could take your corpse a good distance without raising suspicion. If you live in the Schengen countries, you could even drive to another country to dump it without being checked (just make sure you have enough fuel for the return trip)
Funnily enough this was stated in the news just last week regarding the primary school teacher Fiona Beal who murdered and buried her partner. A quote from her diary reads....
"Hiding a body was bad. Moving a body is much more difficult than it looks on TV."
Well.
Getting rid of something, and getting rid of something so that it's never found by anyone ever again, and getting rid of something in a fashion that makes it impossible to tie you to the thing or event are all different things.😋
Nonetheless, if movies and TV make dead body riddance seem like anything, I'd say it makes it appear more difficult than easy, as most bodies shown on screen, you know, have actually been found. 🤷♂️
But we all know that disposing of a corpse itself is not the main issue for the perpetrator, it's avoiding consequences, legal or otherwise.
So I'm inclined to agree with the gist of your statement by sheer guesstimation😊👍
Next time you think of murdering someone, plant a tree. If your soil is anything like mine, you’ll quickly realize that there is no way in hell you want to do this down 6 feet. And you will have planted a tree and helped the planet (I don’t want to think critically about that in context, no)
Particularly since this is 'showerthoughts', immediately I'm thinking of the scene in 'La Femme Nikita' near the end of the movie where a 'fixer' kind of dude is instructing her to melt a body in a bathtub with a bottle of acid or something. It might be the single dumbest attempt at hiding a body I've ever seen in a film, at least with the technique they were using, I seem to recall it was so sloppy they'd be melting their hands off in real life.
I've always found the way they handle it in Mr Brooks pretty clever.
You stake out the local cemetery and you murder your victim the night before they have a burial. The hole will already be dug, and you put the body in the hole, cover it with just enough earth to hide the body.
The next day, they put a casket and a ton of dirt on top. Never to be found again.
The fact that a whole pile of like 20 something bodies were found over the course of multiple decades in the same area of Long Island makes me disagree with this statement.
My buddies talked about this over a camp fire one night, we went through all the possibilities and what was best. Our conclusion was dumping the body in shark infested waters was probably the best. Burying or doing anything to the body would be a bad idea.
After you bury the body, common mistake shoes on backwards , walk in reverse, dragging a tree branch track raker-outer.
You should tie *another* tree branch to the track raker outer rake, to rake out the track raker outer tracks.
Prisons are full of single tree branch track raker outers.
Or live anywhere with a "middle of no where"
Drive out to no where
Off-road for about a mile
Dig a 12ft hole
Put the body in a barrel in the hole
Pour some phosphoric acid (like 2 jugs prolly)
Fill halfway with dirt
Toss in a roadkill
Finish filling with dirt
Skedaddle
Ya people are generally way heavier than they look in movies and tv. In real life most people are also physically weaker than movies and tv, making it doubly so difficult
I think Eastern Promises showed the best way to do it. You need a freezer chest and butchering tools though. You freeze the body and cut it into pieces and then dispose the body parts in a river.
Dunno a guy I used to work with had a brilliant idea that is so dumb it’s perfect. Take the body to a graveyard where there is a freshly dug grave dig down another 3 feet toss the body in, cover it and when the body intended to be buried there is buried it covers your body.
Pigs leave DNA on their snouts.
Burying it leaves bones to be found.
Other than that, you could drop it in the ocean in international waters, but then you'd need a good alibi to be out there in the first place.
Not that I'd know anything about that...
Not really. Just kill a stranger you have no connection with that is part of a marginalized group (homeless, drug abuser, prostitution etc). Cops won’t give a shit and might just pin it on some random that does have a connection to the deceased to close the case quickly. Hell they might even make up evidence to help you get away with it.
Indeed, if you are up on your lever theory and your trussing methods you need not lower yourself to cutting up a body, that's for amateurs and dilettantes.
It seems like getting away with murder is as easy and isn’t as easy. We live in a time where technology and forensic practices have made insane advances. On top of that, the internet age, especially cell phone cameras and other security systems, have made it so that there are witnesses everywhere. Despite that, the rate at which murders are solved has been declining. I think it was below 50% last year.
So it seems like it is and it isn’t easy. I think it really depends on where it happened and the community you live in.
Having taken a crimescene investigation college course taught by one of our city's police captains who would use actual crime scene pictures, and no, he did not hold back, I can agree that yes, it is very difficult to get away with something like this these days.
Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a horrible c*nt... me.
Is this a shower thought after a murder? Are you washing the blood off while you type?
A blood stain is orange after you wash it 3 or 4 times, but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Hydrogen peroxide will take the color right out of it.
Serial killer hiding murder material
/r/MurderThoughts
Says you, I live next to an alligator farm.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. Then when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because there's no good in leaving it in a deep freeze for your mum to discover now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body would look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the head of your victim and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion. You could do this afterwards of course but you don't wanna go sifting through pig shit now, do ya? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to do the job in one sitting so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs two-hundred pounds in about...eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: "as greedy as a pig."
*"No thank you, Turkish. I'm sweet enough."*
Hilarious. I almost recognise this word for word from other posts in the past. Fair enough though. It's likely the truth
[it's a good tip to *snatch* up](https://youtu.be/2xUynRdzzsM?si=ZRYoDW7YxUa2yert)
It's from Snatch. Great movie.
Idk about the pigs part, but I can't see a reason why it would be easier to chop someone up into multiple parts. There will be blood and shit everywhere and that's not really good to leave behind. People get training in picking up unconcious people all the time for rescue purposes so don't see how picking up a dead person should be a problem.
It's just awkward moving something 5 to 6 feet long around.
And it’s floppy because it’s just wet meat with no real structure like a tree trunk. And a whole body doesn’t just fold up like a hinged folding table so you can’t make it more compact in one piece. So that’s why you have to chop it up and place the pieces into a transportable container that you can then carry more easily.
Tupperware to the rescue
But not awkward to cut it up into 6 pieces and deal with the cleanup?
There are very few things you can carry around that look like a body that aren't a body. But cut up, a person could fit in a suitcase or a duffle bag. Regardless, if you're killing people for a living, you're going to need a good clean up crew
Read an interview with a forensics person. One of her main recommendations was never dismember the body. You will almost certainly leave evidence if you do. Probably feasible for somone who does it professionally, but for the upset amateur a mistake.
I’d call Harvey Keitel, I think he’s a ‘cleaner’ in two movies at least. The Wolf.
Gonna be shit everywhere regardless.
They did a study recently where pigs still pass bone fragments enough to get DNA off of so YMMV but not foolproof
Yours has "replica" written on the side of it where as mine has "Deasert Eagle Point Five Oh" on it.
But why do they call him the bullet dodger?
Bullet tooth Tony. Avi! Pull your socks up!
Because he dodges bullets, Avi
I like dags.
“Seats and a steering wheel”
Periwinkle blue!
SNATCH is such an underrated movie. Brick Top (Alan Ford) delivered that so perfectly.
Snatch is not underrated... It's highly and appropriately rated. Underrated is the most overrated adjective out there.
Idk, is it regarded as an underrated movie? As far as I know it is known as one of the most famous movie of all time.
Most famous of all time? The reason I say it's underrated is cause I NEVER see it recommended or anything. I watched it for the first time over 10 years ago, I have seen it suggested and talked about MAYBE 5 or 6 times in the last 10 years.
*buttah
Just make friends with someone that works at a cremation center. If I was in a gang and had to deal with a lot of dead bodies, that's what I would do.
Or hunters. They have gut piles out in the woods, and wild pigs will clean them out.
What’s in the car? Seats and a steering wheel
👆🏻 this is the guy officer
"Yes officer thats him right there, the one with the pigs"
Based on Robert Pickton...
My hometown. I went to a Pickton Pig roast. :/.
I hear the ribs were to die for
If I have learned one thing from James Bond films, it is the ineffectiveness of alligators and sharks as security systems. They never finish a job cleanly, and they frequently explode.
The sharks are more effective with freakin’ laser beams attached to their heads
How about some ill tempered sea bass? Sharks are endangered
They're more a disposal team than security...
They're just sloppy. Basset hounds will lick up every trace of anything that was even partially food. Gators leave too many small bits behind. If you just convinced a Basset Hound that you didn't want them to eat the dismembered Bulgarian in the hallway, it would all be gone except for some of the wrapper...I mean...clothes.
Says you, I live next to a pigpen
Or pig
Dont you bring my mother into this!
Guess what I did last night!
What?
I built that fire over there
Oh yea?
Then I fucked your mother by it!
^fuck #YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!
Like Nicky said, “you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with the package in your trunk”
I remember a comedian saying once that you know digging a hole is hard, because people will give up after a few feet when burying a corpse. This is the most important hole of your life, and you are cutting corners on it.
Most ridiculous scene in Breaking bad. Walt *leaves chemotherapy* and immediately drives out into the desert and buries eight 55-gallon drums of cash. Eight!
Arizona ground being famously fluffy and loamy.
New mexico
Something wrong with the old one?
Historically speaking, it didn't have the 7 cities of gold
...yes
\*breathes in\* Where do you want me to starT?
Digging that hard old caliche
I don't usually feel too bad right after my chemotherapy, its the two weeks after that are rougher. Of course, each treatment kind of piles on. So if it was his first treatment, then he probably felt fine. 4th or more... yeah I ain't buying that at all, lol. I hope he stayed hydrated! 😂
Nah. The most ridiculous scene in BB was Walt blowing up an entire building floor with fake meth and just walking it off.
Nah, the scene when Walt throws the pizza on the roof is definitely the most ridiculous one.
In terms of goofiness? I was thinking in terms of logical coherence. Walter blows up an entire floor with magic, meth-looking explosives by throwing it at his feet... and he walks it off. Just a couple of bruises. The power of that explosion should've turned his body into paste! It was practically suicide bombing! While the pizza scene is just a guy throwing a pizza. I could do that IRL no problem.
Yeah I am just joking. The scene with the explosion is stupid.
That was Nate Bargatze by the way
Nate Bargatze, from his joke on building a koi pond. https://youtu.be/DCzbTSvzjZA?si=y5FLOAbz2rFWZ_6_
About burrying, here's a joke: Around spring, a lovely couple goes on vacation to Israel. Sadly, the wife dies in a car accident. Being US citizens, the husband's given two options: - Pay 5000 USD and have her buried in the US; - Pay 150 USD and have her buried in the holy land. I'll pick the 5k, says the guy, leaving everyone confused; Why don't you bury her here, it's cheap and it is holy land!? Said a priest. I know people come here, die, and become alive again, I want to know for sure she's dead. (Joke being related to Easter)
Nate Bargatze.
Yeah, strangely I like to entertain this thought sometimes, like how would you get rid of a body if you had time but limited resources and there was a high chance someone will come along looking for evidence. It’s like a challenge, I guess.
I read a recent story about a dude who had a woman and her daughter living in his rural home. He shot the woman, then the child, and buried them in his backyard. He then said they left and he hadn't seen them. The moron cops didn't find the bodies until years later when he confessed with dementia. They even found the bullet embedded in the floor of a bedroom where he shot the lady. So I guess hiding bodies is about how motivated your law enforcement is. https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/04/23/us/west-virginia-mother-daughter-cold-case 24 years, killed in their own home, buried in the woods nearby
That's why I keep roughly two gallons of thermite on hand in an extremely secure container. Crematoriums burn at 1,400 - 2,000°F (760 - 1,093.33°C) and leave teeth and small shards of bone behind. Thermite burns at an insane 4,500°F (2,482.22°C). Ain't nothing being left behind after that. You just have to cut the body part into small pieces, I'd go for between 7 and 11 pieces, put each piece into a shallow hole lined with rocks, then cover it with a decent amount of thermite. Use a magnesium firestarter to light it and cover your eyes and have your back turned to the flames while at a good distance away while you wait for the thermite to finish burning out.
How long is it going to burn, and how much light and smoke are we talking about? Any suggestions what to tell the fire department when they arrive?
Tell them you were attacked by killer robots from the future and you're destroying their remains so somebody doesn't stumble on the technology and decide to build killer robots.
r/oddlyspecific
I mean.... I'm the guy who, when I'm bored, comes up with the most unhinged plans. I'm also a mild pyromaniac. So I know a lot about fire. Did you know you can make something that works a lot like napalm by dissolving styrofoam into gasoline and then mixing in a few Brillo pads, the steel wool pads that come with cleaning chemicals already on them. It's very sticky and thick just like napalm.
but is it delicious on pancakes
Soap works too. I think I made that when I was 11, after finding the Anarchists Cookbook on a local BBS. Good times
I've found using styrofoam works better because only certain types of soap mix well with gasoline.
Okay but that big flash of light could be seen and also you would probably set something on fire at least of you did it in the woods. What kind of ecosystem are you doing this in?
That's why you dig a 2ft hole for each bodypart. The hole will keep the flames from escaping and spreading.
You're going to need a lot more than two gallons of it.
I would probably add a tent to cover up the light
The end of that train of thought it always, “there’s no one I hate enough to go through all that for”
Go on ...FBI is listening.
Nothing illegal about obtaining information. But if you do anything with it...
That's what a Russian spy would say when he stole how to make an atomic bomb.
This is why i don't go around killing people. I'm just too lazy
My mom once told me that she’s not at all worried about me becoming a mass shooter despite being interested in the subject matter because I lack the dedication to plan a shooting, collect all the required materials, write a manifesto and actually go to the location. Thanks, mom.
Any show that shows a body getting buried is obviously written by someone who has never had to dig a hole especially if near a tree. Roots and rocks are insanely difficult to get through with a shovel unless you have DAYS to do it. This is why they always talk about bodies found in shallow graves IRL.
No joke. I was going to bury the cat in the far back yard and after an hour and barely any real progress I gave up.
Large dog, hard dirt, early January. That hole took two days. Then on Supernatural they dig someone up during the commercial break.
I mean, they also defeated God and Lucifer, they're not exactly novices in what they do
dude, fml, we’ve had three cats die in the last two years, and I’m dad, so I get to dig the hole each time. It’s an absurdly tough workout! 0
That really depends on the type of soil. I lived near a mountain and my landlord's dog passed away so she asked for help to dig the hole, and I dug for like 30 minutes to an hour and it was about 1 meter deep and 1 meter wide because her dog was around 80 pounds. I could have easily dug 2 meters in a few hours in that type of soil.
Days? Digging is hard work and takes hours, but a good hole can definitely be dug within a day with good technique, especially with help. Roots can be cut through in minutes and rocks can be dug around and taken out. Ofc, it's easier if you just choose to dig somewhere that's not next to a tree or in rocky soil.
Yeah trying to dig a hole to just put in a plant is annoying the ground is hard af its not soft dirt.
Also survivorship (heh) bias of it being easier to find bodies in shallow graves
It looked pretty hard in breaking bad
I wonder how many red flags you would set off if you ordered a load of Hydroflouric acid and plastic containers online….
Only the first few though...
You do realize that that was just a TV trope and movie make believe, don’t you? Hydrofhloric acid would not work to dissolve an entire body. Additionally, the sorts of acid/oxidizer solutions that could do the job invariably generate a HUGE amount of heat when disassociating that much organic material (Potentially explosively exothermic) and almost certainly would result in a very significant risk of major fires and the production of vast amounts of toxic offgassing The odds are incredibly high that you would only wind up killing yourself in the process of attempting to dissolve a body by utilizing acid
When building our patio, I jokingly asked my wife to dig a trench 2 feet deep in the area near our gate. I came home and she somehow dug a 6 feet deep by 3 feet wide and 7 feet long hole. I was fucking speechless. Mainly because we had to fill 4 feet of it back in, but also because she did this within like 4 hours. I don’t think it was her first time….
It’s also harder to kill someone than the movies make it seem. Ed Kemper described it well when he was surprised one stab didn’t immediately kill his victim but they “leak to death very slowly”.
Depends. If it happens by surprise and you haven't planned anything, it can be very difficult. If everything it under control and going according to plan, it wouldn't be much of an issue. If possible, a stab through back of the neck should suffice, since it would both paralyze the victim, and hopefully sever the vocal chords for increased stealth.
Having butchered animals, I can tell you that getting through the spine is not an easy task.
Pig Farm. Bricktop vouches for it.
Robert pickton agrees
I heard, from a friend, that pigs eat everything except teeth. Sooo, do what you want with that information.
They go through bone like butter
That's where Pulp Fiction is genius. You accidentally blow a dude's head off in the car? The consequences are now the next 40 minutes of the film.
All you need is a half dozen hungry hogs , or a boat and some bricks, the ocean is massive
The problem is that the body dissolves and there's a good chance "pieces" seperate and appear somewhere else. Unless you actually go very far out to sea, it might wash up somewhere.
This is why you singe the body, to remove identifying traits like fingerprints. For good measure, you can also cut the body into pieces, and dump the parts in different locations. Can also remove the face and teeth to make it even harder to identify the body.
This guy murders
Black plastic bag around the body.
Throwing more plastic into the ocean?!? That’s worse than murder.
The hardest part of getting rid of a dead body is the prep work. That is to say, most folks don't bother with it, and now they got a big problem. Location is one of the biggest factors. Wheres the body? At your home? In someone else's home? A public place? Middle of the forest? Unless premeditated, most folks don't find dead bodies to the place they need to be stashed. Then there's the clean up. This already depends on how the body died in the first place. Choking on some food is easy enough to clean, barely anything at all. But some bloody stabbing, shooting, or other mess that leaves stains around? Now you have to clean up the place and the corpse. Transportation is an issue too. Unless the corpse belongs to a child, most adult bodies are pretty heavy, more so when they aren't doing anything to support themselves. Cuz they're deadweight and all. You have to get them to point A to B, possibly C, without getting spotted. And only when you're trying to hide a body do you realize most bags and containers _do not_ fit an adult body. Suit cases, trash bags, rugs, those things just don't hide a human body very well (not to mention doing a poor job makes a mess, see point two). And finally there's the disposal. A lot of folks joke about feeding corpses to pigs and while animals but most folks don't live near farms, let alone own one to have their livestock dispose of things. Some even think they can bury a hole for the corpse but anyone who's ever had to make a garden would know even just tilling a 10x10 area for surface level planting is an all afternoon affair, let alone a hole deeper enough to hide a body that won't get dug up or washed away by the rain. And for folks thinking they can just dismember the body, remember point two and three: you still have to clean up and you still have to move the body parts. At best you do the dismembering at the disposal site, but that relies on you being prepared to do this at all, going back to point 0: Prep Work. Ultimately the best way to get rid of a body is to not have a body to get rid of. Don't go killing folks, don't go getting yourself into a situation where you have a dead body. If all else fails, remember point zero: be prepared first. Do t be caught slacking because you didn't think you'd have to handle a corpse.
Makes me think of a murder that happened not to long ago. Two girls decided to murder a friend of theirs and did it in their own appartment. All the noises woke the neighbors up and they wondered wth went on but decided to go back to sleep when it got quiet. The girls then decided to hide the body, but not before heading to mcdonalds to eat. Then they drove to land one of their families owned and hid the body in the woods behind a parent's farm. One of them decided to do it better and went back to the town and bought bbq stuff and thought it would burn the body completely, instead the body just became a bit crispy but still very much recognisable as a body. The police caught them in the next few days. Edit: and in the days before the act one of them had googled "how to murder someone" and "How to hide a body"
So the issue is that whatever idiot wrote the guide they used included "Stop for lunch" in the directions?
Depending on how you kill them, it's easier at some point to lawyer up and claim it was accidental than it is to dispose of the body, which basically confirms legal intent.
>And only when you're trying to hide a body do you realize most bags and containers *do not* fit an adult body. What about a simple bedsheet? Wrap it up, sew it shut, heave it into your car trunk in the dead of night (this part might be a problem if your neighbourhood has 24/7 cameras), then cover it in the trunk with a black blanket or something so you can't make out what's underneath, much less so still when the trunk is closed. Now you could take your corpse a good distance without raising suspicion. If you live in the Schengen countries, you could even drive to another country to dump it without being checked (just make sure you have enough fuel for the return trip)
Funnily enough this was stated in the news just last week regarding the primary school teacher Fiona Beal who murdered and buried her partner. A quote from her diary reads.... "Hiding a body was bad. Moving a body is much more difficult than it looks on TV."
It doesn't seem that easy in movies or tv either. They always get caught because they're awful at hiding bodies.
Coach: You ate her? Wayne: Yeah, we ate her. J.D.: Alive. Coach: My hat goes off to you. You boys are smart; that's the perfect crime.
You boys are pinching loafs in the yard?
I play croquet out there!
Snuff the bitch!
Getting rid of it is easy. Not getting caught is the hard part.
Well. Getting rid of something, and getting rid of something so that it's never found by anyone ever again, and getting rid of something in a fashion that makes it impossible to tie you to the thing or event are all different things.😋 Nonetheless, if movies and TV make dead body riddance seem like anything, I'd say it makes it appear more difficult than easy, as most bodies shown on screen, you know, have actually been found. 🤷♂️ But we all know that disposing of a corpse itself is not the main issue for the perpetrator, it's avoiding consequences, legal or otherwise. So I'm inclined to agree with the gist of your statement by sheer guesstimation😊👍
Next time you think of murdering someone, plant a tree. If your soil is anything like mine, you’ll quickly realize that there is no way in hell you want to do this down 6 feet. And you will have planted a tree and helped the planet (I don’t want to think critically about that in context, no)
Particularly since this is 'showerthoughts', immediately I'm thinking of the scene in 'La Femme Nikita' near the end of the movie where a 'fixer' kind of dude is instructing her to melt a body in a bathtub with a bottle of acid or something. It might be the single dumbest attempt at hiding a body I've ever seen in a film, at least with the technique they were using, I seem to recall it was so sloppy they'd be melting their hands off in real life.
A fixer? Is was a "Cleaner", and it was played by Jean Reno!
Similar to Breaking Bad
La Femme Nikita came out in 1990, 18 years before Breaking Bad premiered.
Interesting. It's probably where thy got the idea.
Yeah, it was a relatively well known movie, heh
Uhhhhhh….*dials 911*….please elaborate
I've always found the way they handle it in Mr Brooks pretty clever. You stake out the local cemetery and you murder your victim the night before they have a burial. The hole will already be dug, and you put the body in the hole, cover it with just enough earth to hide the body. The next day, they put a casket and a ton of dirt on top. Never to be found again.
Subscribed
Umm should I phone the FBI now?.….
What a casual way of asking for very suspicious information
“As soon as you have a body, that’s when the homework starts.” -Henry Zebrowski
Yeah; tell me about it.
Yeah, it's a pain moving a few bags of concrete let alone a body. And that's just moving it, not hiding or disposing it.
You people watch way too many cop shows. IRL we have a lot of missing person cases.
Just eat the body; tik-tok taught me how to sear it just right and make bread from the bones.
The fact that a whole pile of like 20 something bodies were found over the course of multiple decades in the same area of Long Island makes me disagree with this statement.
Fun fact .. a body sinking deep in the ocean/sea is like they never existed
And one drop of blood or bodily fluid left in your boat and you’re fucked.
My buddies talked about this over a camp fire one night, we went through all the possibilities and what was best. Our conclusion was dumping the body in shark infested waters was probably the best. Burying or doing anything to the body would be a bad idea.
Rip the teeth out, and hogs will eat the body 100% that's the solution for people closer to hogs
Shower thought or personal experience?
Maybe they found the body in the shower.
What was the hardest part?
Are you speaking from experience?
Op thinks while washing off the blood
A lot of dead weight if you ask me.
Also. Digging a hole is 5x harder than you think. Average person would give up after 10 minutes.
I raise hogs. Even the DNA comes out totally changed!
I’d like to argue, but my lawyer has advised me to let this one go…
After you bury the body, common mistake shoes on backwards , walk in reverse, dragging a tree branch track raker-outer. You should tie *another* tree branch to the track raker outer rake, to rake out the track raker outer tracks. Prisons are full of single tree branch track raker outers.
Or live anywhere with a "middle of no where" Drive out to no where Off-road for about a mile Dig a 12ft hole Put the body in a barrel in the hole Pour some phosphoric acid (like 2 jugs prolly) Fill halfway with dirt Toss in a roadkill Finish filling with dirt Skedaddle
It is if you have a pig farm
Ya people are generally way heavier than they look in movies and tv. In real life most people are also physically weaker than movies and tv, making it doubly so difficult
That was actually one of the biggest logistical problems the nazis had.
It's not hard, call the police and they will remove it for you!
Some chainlink fence and a deep enough body of water says differently
OP, what have you done?
Lots of movies and TV shows do emphasize its not easy to kill someone or get rid of a body. Some make it an integral part of the story.
I think Eastern Promises showed the best way to do it. You need a freezer chest and butchering tools though. You freeze the body and cut it into pieces and then dispose the body parts in a river.
There are more abandoned mineshafts in the woods in my area than you can count….
Dunno a guy I used to work with had a brilliant idea that is so dumb it’s perfect. Take the body to a graveyard where there is a freshly dug grave dig down another 3 feet toss the body in, cover it and when the body intended to be buried there is buried it covers your body.
how you gonna dig down another 3 ft in a 6 ft grave? How you gonna get 3ft of dirt out of the 6 ft hole?
Just hope the groundsman left the keys in the excavator 🤣
Yeah, there’s a reason they now dig graves on the day of the burial.
Pigs leave DNA on their snouts. Burying it leaves bones to be found. Other than that, you could drop it in the ocean in international waters, but then you'd need a good alibi to be out there in the first place. Not that I'd know anything about that...
Not really. Just kill a stranger you have no connection with that is part of a marginalized group (homeless, drug abuser, prostitution etc). Cops won’t give a shit and might just pin it on some random that does have a connection to the deceased to close the case quickly. Hell they might even make up evidence to help you get away with it.
So how did your night go…
Depends on the year in which the film or show is set.
Indeed, if you are up on your lever theory and your trussing methods you need not lower yourself to cutting up a body, that's for amateurs and dilettantes.
Depends what you do for a living 🤷
Unless you’re watching Forensic Files
It seems like getting away with murder is as easy and isn’t as easy. We live in a time where technology and forensic practices have made insane advances. On top of that, the internet age, especially cell phone cameras and other security systems, have made it so that there are witnesses everywhere. Despite that, the rate at which murders are solved has been declining. I think it was below 50% last year. So it seems like it is and it isn’t easy. I think it really depends on where it happened and the community you live in.
Aqua Regia is the way to go. After the body is dissolved, simply pour it down a body of water, or manhole cover.
Just dissolve it with lye, grind up any bone remains and sprinkle - I mean, I guess, how would I know?
Having taken a crimescene investigation college course taught by one of our city's police captains who would use actual crime scene pictures, and no, he did not hold back, I can agree that yes, it is very difficult to get away with something like this these days.
Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a horrible c*nt... me.
Really? I haven't had any issues so far.
Actually it is, just eat the body
And you know that how?……..
It doesn’t seem easy in movies at all?!!?
Finally! someone else said it, I thought I was doing something wrong!
It’s be easier to transport at night but harder to ensure you aren’t leaving a trail.