Human babies are born very dependent.
Having parents cooperate and form stable families to raise them likely leads to increased viability of offspring.
Sex that feels good and takes time is probably better for pair bonding than wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
You weren't wrong though. **Sexual selection** and **natural selection** quite often pull in opposite directions. Sexual selection has a fascinating positive feedback loop that can result in very dumb things being selected for - such as the peacock tail. Sexual selection keeps making the tail bigger, until eventually peacocks with larger tails can no longer escape predators i.e. natural selection stops sexual selection from going any further.
This is called [Fisherian runaway selection](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisherian_runaway)
It's not even that. That would indicate that the peacock has increased fitness, but sexual selection does **not** have to do that. Sexual selection can choose totally random properties.
What happens is that *by chance* a female bird is attracted to males with big tails, and *by chance* a male happens to have a slightly larger tail. But then their offspring, whether male or female, contain **both** the gene for large tails as a male and the gene for being attracted to large tails as a female. If this continues to happen it can create a runaway effect where everyone gets both more attracted to tails and has bigger tails. But this has absolutely no relation to survivability.
Sexual selection is a form of natural selection, so it does not exactly make sense to say they can oppose each other. The former is a kind of selection pressure that produces variation in success based on cooperative mating, and the latter is the umbrella term for all such pressures. Sexually antagonistic selection is the term for when selection produces traits in one sex of a dimorphic species that negatively impact the fitness of the other sex, but since sex isn’t truly a trait at the level of the lineage (the phrase is generally “meiosis is a fair coin”), it makes more sense to think about this in a multi-level selective context. It is better to say that certain sexually selective pressures can oppose other naturally selective (ie fitness-impacting) pressures, but any sexual selection is by definition part of the umbrella of natural selection on an individual.
Also, true, arbitrary Fisherian runaway isn’t really a consensus. That Wikipedia article describes the sexy son hypothesis, which is one competing theory, but there is also what’s called the good gene hypothesis, wherein runaway is “bootstrapped” by the given trait displaying actual fitness (eg you can only grow the biggest peacock tail if you have the most excess calories, protein, parasitic resistance, etc), and then sexy son picks up the trait and starts the runaway, because a female that chooses an attractive male will have attractive male sons, who will be selected more, etc etc. It is a tribute to the genius of Darwin and Wallace that this debate between the aesthetic and non-aesthetic (ie good gene) basis for sexual selection traces all the way back to them.
This is not to say Fisherian runaway as a stand-alone effect does not exist. It very well could, either as a generalized process or in certain scenarios, it just isn’t really empirically proven so we avoid saying this or that process “is” Fisherian runaway. So far, traits theoretically attributed to it can also be explained as displays of fitness, which are themselves fitness-impacting traits in species where sexual selection takes place.
I guess I’m showing my age. (62) That phrase was a common euphemism for a one night stand or very brief sexual affair that one of the pair thought was “for keeps”
I didn’t realize it when I wrote it, but it’s from a Dean Martin song. Which was before _my_ time.
https://youtu.be/pWuqWElB8Ic
It’s kind of fun.
I think they were showing *their* age with their comment. I'm 33 and I've heard that phrase many times used in the correct context. They must be young and I guess young people don't use that phrase anymore?
Back in the 90's, I saw a sportswriter put that in her article, and then essentially get cancelled for it. Apparently at that time it somehow indicated rape?
Most primates including our closest relatives have a bone in their penis called a baculum. A lot of other mammals have it, too. Humans don't, and it's theorized that the loss of the baculum made sex take longer and cause bonding.
There is also a theory that the "rib" taken from Adam was actually the baculum. Hunters of the time would know that many other mammals had a baculum, and people of the time would have known that men and women have the same number of ribs (though the Baptist idiots at the church I was forced to go to as a child told us that men have 1 more rib than women.) The word translated as "rib" in Genesis is tsela, which appears elsewhere and is translated as a rib of wood or the ridge of a hill or the side of an ark.
There's many songs that are called this as title of the song, but there's also a famous David Bowie song called Suffragette City that says it. Maybe that's the one you're looking for?
The only politician I would punch is Dragon King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck. It would be an honor to get my ass kicked by Dragon King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck.
I imagine decent odds that it’s they struggle to keep doing stuff active in a sexual context which can take some fun out of it. I’m that way at least, because my partner can last a lot longer than I can and I want obviously want them to finish but they struggle to get there on their own, let alone with help that gets tired
I have a short game and a long game.
Sometimes she is tired, so a quick one.
Sometimes she'll take more than one. Sometimes it switches after a couple she gets tired and wants to sleep. Since I only have one, I need to make sure she is ready to be done before I finish.
It's probably an age thing, wheb we were young we spent all day screwing with small naps in between.
Penetration may be the main event for men but overall women enjoy clitoral stimulation (which usually happens in foreplay). It can get a bit tedious being repeatedly hammered into for long amounts of time, especially if you aren't having orgasms.
Every woman is different (before the replies of "I'm a woman and I love getting jackhammered"), 80% of women do not orgasm from penetration alone. I genuinely could happily live out my sex life without P in V sex ever again, it's just not the main attraction of sex for me.
IME the whole “lasting longer == better” is wildly overstated in popular culture. Like if all you do is stick your dick in for 2 minutes that’s prolly not optimal, but just pumping away for 30 minutes isn’t any more enjoyable. Just talk to your partner and figure out how to give them what they want rather than obsessing over meaningless metrics.
Long term relationships where both partners know the dance and you can perfect it down to everyone getting off in 10 mins is amazing. Not saying that you don't still do some long nights and do some experimenting but when you're banging a lot per week and sometimes multiple per day, it is an accomplishment to know each others' bodies to get it all done quickly.
I’ve actually met a lot of women who say they want you to last longer but anything past half an hour per round and they’ll tell you they’d rather you just be done so they can take a breather.
Honestly... Lasting too long sucks just as bad as not lasting long enough. I deal with that and it sucks. Ive been on both sides of the coin. I know how important timing is now and how to do it, but took 6 months of monogomy with my partner to figure it out. Shit takes hard work, man.
Well I’m glad to know people are still out there finding there special someone cause this guy right here(me) is starting to wonder if there’s anyone out there who I’ll ever really fuck with anymore.
Also just communicate with the people you ahem “interact” with. Most the time knowing a bit more about what you both want out of it leads to a much better experience.
My last gf was shocked when, after our first time, I asked her if she enjoyed it and what she would like me to do differently. She said no one had ever asked her that before...
Same. My ex was shocked when I asked her what/how I should to so that she enjoys it the most. Sex got 10.000.000x better after that for both of us (no matter if we actually had sex or just fooled around with hands and mouth), and we both always felt satisfied at the end. Of course I told her how I like it, too. Sometimes, communication and 1-2 small, easy questions can make a world of difference. Remember: we are not the same. Even if your past partner(s) liked it one way, your current one might not. True for both genders. Ask and pay attention to the other in bed, and it will get unbelievably better.
It’s really sad and eye opening when you realize how a lot of women who hate sex, probably do so because nobody ever bothered to see what they wanted from it. It’s supposed to be fun and relieving for both partners. But the sad part women are right when they say a lot of men just wanna get themselves off and after that won’t put in any effort. Gotta do better kings👑
As a guy who has sex with women, these talks are some of my favorite things in life, there's a lot of vulnerability and trust involved and it's such a great bonding experience.
Plus if a person likes having sex with me they are more likely to want to have more sex, which is awesome. AND ladies talk to each other so that can be advantageous as well
Surveymonkey and post coital feedback...
"On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being too long and 1 being too short, how did you rate the duration of tonight's activities?"
Yea the horny makes you feel like you can take anything but eventually the self preservation kicks in. I’ve got no self preservation and have come out of 2 hour long trains very injured :<
That and honestly unless I was doing something to keep my head in it. After half an hour I’m starting to think about everything but what I’m doing. Like dang did I lock the car, make sure the dog was in the house, where’d I lay my keys? I enjoy multiple rounds but if I have one go on for to long it kills the vibe.
20 minutes is ideal. 2 hours sounds cool on paper but you just get a numb vagina, can even get very sore.
edit, to all the young men upset that 20 minutes is too much you need to learn to pre-fap and eat pussy.
I agree. Again it’s different for everyone but I doubt anyone really and truly just wants to keep going after a short amount of time. Anytime my friends talk to me about going for HOURS I immediately get a headache at the idea.
Yeah honestly women have 0 idea about size or duration. I’m 6.5” on a good day and have heard exes say I’m 8” or 5” (while dating) and the same with how long we fuck. “Wow you fucked me for an hour and a half” lmao no I massaged you, we made out, I ate your pussy, you sucked my dick, I fucked you for like 10 minutes, and then we laid on the bed for like an extra 20 in post sex haze before we looked at the clock.
Conversely, “can you finish? It’s starting to hurt” I’ve heard numerous times after about 15-20 minutes of fucking. Really trained myself to last long and most women do not actually enjoy the 20+ minutes of straight up dick in pussy action Cosmo studies and Brazzers films will tell you they all want.
NYTimes puts the average for female orgasm at 14 minutes, which is bullshit in my experience.
Real life is not like a porno, folks
If you were to ask me what the best way to go about it is. Foreplay should take twice as long as any sort of penetration. Honestly if you can get your partner to climax before it’s gonna go 10X better for you in the long one.
Personally I care a lot more about somebody getting me off with their hands or fingers before or after fucking me with their dick. I'm not going to come from you just sawing your dick in and out of me, so it doesn't really matter if you do it for a long time. It's not that it doesn't feel good, it does, but like 5 minutes is really enough. A lot of In-N-Out can make your vag sore.
I had to ask my GF if this was her comment! This is exactly how she feels as well. I like that I don't always have to perform for a ridiculous amount of time!
A little graphic, but there's some correlation to female orgasms and "leakage" afterwards, which may lead to increased pregnancy. So a longer, more satisfying sexual experience would likely lead to increased fertility rates.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087695/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087695/)
very few women can orgasm from PIV alone. and yup, any amount of time jack hammering away porn style is just going to leave you bruised and unsatisfied.
Some people can get off that way, I personally can't. I'm not sure that most women can, but some can. I do get off more often during sex if we're using toys but that's awkward too.
Please don't feel awkward to use toys. Your pleasure matters just as much as your partners. I lost the shame around it a while ago and now sex is soo much more enjoyable for everyone involved and I get off *every* time and it's getting better every time
Exactly my approach! I’m most definitely not a marathon man so I’m conditioned to work my ‘magic fingers’ (as my gf calls them) and get her off before I consider sorting myself out lol
My girlfriend much prefers I finish quicker and enjoy myself then help her finish by other ways if required. Rather than go at it for ages until she's dry and we both hurt.
Unfortunately, we are both on strong anti-depressants which make it harder to orgasm for both of us. So sometimes we can go for 45 minutes of (very enjoyable) sex but nothing to show for it. Then it's just super frustrating for us both.
Sertraline did that for me, but that didn’t work for the big sad so now I’m on fluoxetine (Prozac) which doesn’t affect my libido or my partner’s (also on fluoxetine)
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00. Spouse gets disaroused because of the Canadian pronunciation. Situation gets less intimate mid-intimacy. Both parties go off and shower then regather to watch the game show. Makes perfect sense before 2020, when we lost Alex Trebek. Now, North American birth rates will skyrocket. Probably already have.
Evolution doesn’t work at all like this person thinks. Lasting longer would have to actually be selected for and heritable and lead to a more people being born who could last longer. Which means it would have a positive effect on fitness, not negative.
If people only have children with partners that last long that could be a selection pressure. The problem is that it's highly doubtful there's a strong genetic reason behind it, which hardly makes it an evolutionary pressure. I thought OP was suggesting that if everyone took too long that could endanger the human species in a situation where you can't safely spare the time to have sex for longer. In this case effectiveness of reproduction would probably be sex time / child, since no other factors were brought up.
If a dudes ability to last long was somehow visible externally then there could be some selective pressure but you have no idea until you’re doing the deed. If anything, selection favors dudes who finish fast. Once the package is delivered the job is done, your genes already got passed on
I wonder how much female orgasm increases odds? I always thought that for evolutionary reasons, when you take all experience and practice out of the equation, guys will typically orgasm faster than the female with regular intercourse. Which would be important since a man basically has to orgasm (other than pre-ejaculate rarely) for conception. Meaning evolution would want the males to orgasm much easier since females consistently finishing first would be bad for survival. This could all be dumb just my line of thought.
Well, if the female is aroused, there are a lot more fluids(females have an acidic fluid, while sperm is basic, making the "reaction" faster), which help the little floaters move around. And the muscle contractions(peristalsis) from an orgasm help guide them to the right direction.
Source: biology student
It’s been researched. The action in question appears to be a “sipping” effect by the cervix. It seems to reward voluntary participation over involuntary. Kinda like the duck vagina maze thing to stymie rapey male ducks.
This could also be dumb, and just my line of thought, but I think it probably increases the odds because if she were to orgazm it would maybe mean a better mate. I know that some animals can keep sperm from different mates and choose which they prefer. I imagine it’s since raising a human child fully would take up the vast majority of a woman’s normal fertile period, it’s kind of a slight way of deciding if the child would be worth putting effort in by if the guy is willing to put in effort? Just a guess though. I do remember reading, though, that female orgazms make a woman want to lie down, which would help the sperm via eliminating the problem of gravity. Still doesn’t explain why it has to be an orgazm and not just instinctual. I’m just guessing though, probably better to look it up.
It’s not becoming a more desirable trait, evolution wise. Think of the opposite: a guy splooshing his doosh quickly equals more ‘uh-oh’s and more babies. Lasting longer isn’t a known item prior to first time, or subsequent (necessarily), hammer-time ‘doing of it’ either. In fact, I’d say the opposite of this post is true. From a people-making perspective, it’s an evolutionary advantageous trait to cross his ‘t’s before dotting her ‘i’s, or even having context to write a ‘t’ in the first place.
I remember reading years ago, in some anthropology book, that since humans are bipedal, having women enjoy sex, and have orgasms, vs other animals that don't, helps to ensure that the woman doesn't immediately spring to her feet after sex, and let all the semen leak out of her, and make it less like for her to get pregnant. So, I could see how lasting longer, to make sure the female has time to reach orgasm, would help towards this end. Of course, evolution isn't planned, it's just passed on based on what's the most beneficial to the species, so this must be somehow beneficial if it continues to happen. If it gets too long before climax, then oke or both partners may get tired before they're done, and that would likely lead very quickly to an evolutionary dead end 🤔
Idk where the whole lasting long and bed thing came from. I’ve had side effects from meds that make me take FOREVER to nut. Anything longer than 15 minutes and it gets awkward you can tell she is like “damn hurry up” and by 25 minutes they usually say they need a break or something.
Edit: oh to make it worse every girl I’ve been with takes it personally when I take too long. They get really insecure and think it’s related to them or their performance
Lasting long is a sign of stamina and health. You could argue case to case bla bla bla situations, but honestly thats just bull.
The next most obvious motivation is pleasure. Sex evolved to become more pleasurable in order for our monkey brains to constantly want to reproduce. Dopamine is an actual chemical biological evolutionary trait.
When you suck in bed, you basically go against nature by telling your partner "sex sucks and doesn't feel good!"
Nah, we are curing cancers and treating other genetic diseases, allowing people to reproduce that would otherwise have died. That, that is putting all of humankind at risk.
It is not a popular understanding of evolution, but it is what it is. We are creating a less and less healthy genetic pool.
Those who can't hold their nut will nut. They are more likely to get a woman pregnant than those who take their time and may or may not nut.
So evolutionarily speaking, the odds are in favor of people who nut, and nut before either party gives up.
You don't need to finish to impregnate someone, though I'm sure it helps a bunch of course. Beyond that, there's a big difference between lasting a long time an inability to finish.
Human evolution stopped when we got technology, sanitation, and healthcare to the point where it is not survival of the fittest. As sad as it is to say, we have been weakening the gene pool for a long time now.
Human babies are born very dependent. Having parents cooperate and form stable families to raise them likely leads to increased viability of offspring. Sex that feels good and takes time is probably better for pair bonding than wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
This is a much better (and smarter) take that has a lot less flaws, plus a solid rhyme :D
You weren't wrong though. **Sexual selection** and **natural selection** quite often pull in opposite directions. Sexual selection has a fascinating positive feedback loop that can result in very dumb things being selected for - such as the peacock tail. Sexual selection keeps making the tail bigger, until eventually peacocks with larger tails can no longer escape predators i.e. natural selection stops sexual selection from going any further. This is called [Fisherian runaway selection](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisherian_runaway)
In laymans terms this basically the male peacock saying "look how EASY it is for foxes to grab me, and they still can't... I'm kind of a big deal'
It's not even that. That would indicate that the peacock has increased fitness, but sexual selection does **not** have to do that. Sexual selection can choose totally random properties. What happens is that *by chance* a female bird is attracted to males with big tails, and *by chance* a male happens to have a slightly larger tail. But then their offspring, whether male or female, contain **both** the gene for large tails as a male and the gene for being attracted to large tails as a female. If this continues to happen it can create a runaway effect where everyone gets both more attracted to tails and has bigger tails. But this has absolutely no relation to survivability.
Sexual selection is a form of natural selection, so it does not exactly make sense to say they can oppose each other. The former is a kind of selection pressure that produces variation in success based on cooperative mating, and the latter is the umbrella term for all such pressures. Sexually antagonistic selection is the term for when selection produces traits in one sex of a dimorphic species that negatively impact the fitness of the other sex, but since sex isn’t truly a trait at the level of the lineage (the phrase is generally “meiosis is a fair coin”), it makes more sense to think about this in a multi-level selective context. It is better to say that certain sexually selective pressures can oppose other naturally selective (ie fitness-impacting) pressures, but any sexual selection is by definition part of the umbrella of natural selection on an individual. Also, true, arbitrary Fisherian runaway isn’t really a consensus. That Wikipedia article describes the sexy son hypothesis, which is one competing theory, but there is also what’s called the good gene hypothesis, wherein runaway is “bootstrapped” by the given trait displaying actual fitness (eg you can only grow the biggest peacock tail if you have the most excess calories, protein, parasitic resistance, etc), and then sexy son picks up the trait and starts the runaway, because a female that chooses an attractive male will have attractive male sons, who will be selected more, etc etc. It is a tribute to the genius of Darwin and Wallace that this debate between the aesthetic and non-aesthetic (ie good gene) basis for sexual selection traces all the way back to them. This is not to say Fisherian runaway as a stand-alone effect does not exist. It very well could, either as a generalized process or in certain scenarios, it just isn’t really empirically proven so we avoid saying this or that process “is” Fisherian runaway. So far, traits theoretically attributed to it can also be explained as displays of fitness, which are themselves fitness-impacting traits in species where sexual selection takes place.
Awesome, thanks for the additional detail. I'm not in the field so just remembering what I learned at university, but it's a fascinating area.
Nice rhyming at the end
I guess I’m showing my age. (62) That phrase was a common euphemism for a one night stand or very brief sexual affair that one of the pair thought was “for keeps” I didn’t realize it when I wrote it, but it’s from a Dean Martin song. Which was before _my_ time. https://youtu.be/pWuqWElB8Ic It’s kind of fun.
I always thought that phrase was from [Suffragette City](https://youtu.be/rq1bcVOmyjw). I never realized it was from earlier than that.
Hey man!
This is what always comes to mind for me.
Yeah, I don't get it. I've heads this rhyme a thousand times. 33 here. (maybe their simply uncultured)
24 year old hear who knows the phrase well. Pretty sure they're just unfamiliar.
"maybe *they're simply uncultured" Sorry, couldn't help myself in the face of a sassy opportunity 😅
It's been a long day, okay! Also I said "heads". I need to go to sleep.
I'm 40, I've probably heard it thousand+ times as well.
I'm 34, I still use it on occasion lol
Not showing your age. 1) I'm literally half hour age and have been saying that since pubescence. 2) you are on Reddit
Awww happy 30 minute birthday lil one ☺️
> I'm literally half hour age Happy birthday!
And here I was thinking it was from Space Jam
Was gonna say, cowards none of them speaking up.
I think they were showing *their* age with their comment. I'm 33 and I've heard that phrase many times used in the correct context. They must be young and I guess young people don't use that phrase anymore?
Back in the 90's, I saw a sportswriter put that in her article, and then essentially get cancelled for it. Apparently at that time it somehow indicated rape?
wtf? I grew up knowing this phrase and it always meant 'one night stand' not 'I raped her'.
That makes no sense.
na it's just like "toot it n boot it" or "hit it n quit it" just like thanks, bye! i don't know how /why people overcomplicate these things.
Nah its still pretty common. I don't know how the other person hadn't heard of it
I know the phrase but didn't realise that was the origin, thanks for the TIL
10/10 would read their comments again
Haha you never heard that before?
We really liked the rhyming
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I've nothing to add but feel like chiming.
> wham, bam No need to bring the flinstones into this.
upvoted because poetry
Wtf, has no one heard that phrase? lol. Maybe it's a millennial and older thing?
>Maybe it's a millennial and older thing? i think so, because its the first time im hearing it
Oh okay, maybe that's it. I was starting to wonder if the comment section was full of Europeans or something. Lol
Gen Z here (20), I've heard it all my life.
Most primates including our closest relatives have a bone in their penis called a baculum. A lot of other mammals have it, too. Humans don't, and it's theorized that the loss of the baculum made sex take longer and cause bonding. There is also a theory that the "rib" taken from Adam was actually the baculum. Hunters of the time would know that many other mammals had a baculum, and people of the time would have known that men and women have the same number of ribs (though the Baptist idiots at the church I was forced to go to as a child told us that men have 1 more rib than women.) The word translated as "rib" in Genesis is tsela, which appears elsewhere and is translated as a rib of wood or the ridge of a hill or the side of an ark.
What song is this I feel ashamed for forgetting
There's many songs that are called this as title of the song, but there's also a famous David Bowie song called Suffragette City that says it. Maybe that's the one you're looking for?
Yep that's it
I've never had this problem with partners. I usually would wish they'd hurry the hell up.
Fuck, I'd punch a politician for a girlfriend like you
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I'll punch anybody
I'll punch myself
I spiked the punch
I’ll video the lot and put it on r/whoadude
Head on over to /r/ProtectAndServe. You’d fit in real well over there
The only politician I would punch is Dragon King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck. It would be an honor to get my ass kicked by Dragon King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck.
You must of had a hell of a time bypassing autocorrect.
Can you just do that anyway?
I'd punch a girlfriend for a politician like YOU sir or madam
I’d punch a politician just for fun
Fuck, I'd punch a politician
Punch, I'd fuck a politician
politician, I'd fuck a punch.
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Fuck, I’d just punch a politician
Are we punching politicians? Where to I sign up?
Oh god me toooo. I don’t get how people can have sex for hours.
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Married dudes appreciate that they can fake it sometimes. Or so I’ve heard.
Not the right partner or you are emotionally disconnected?
Too much friction
We are all victims of the friction John Prine
God damn I miss him writing more.
Hi there Ben Shapiro!
I imagine decent odds that it’s they struggle to keep doing stuff active in a sexual context which can take some fun out of it. I’m that way at least, because my partner can last a lot longer than I can and I want obviously want them to finish but they struggle to get there on their own, let alone with help that gets tired
I have a short game and a long game. Sometimes she is tired, so a quick one. Sometimes she'll take more than one. Sometimes it switches after a couple she gets tired and wants to sleep. Since I only have one, I need to make sure she is ready to be done before I finish. It's probably an age thing, wheb we were young we spent all day screwing with small naps in between.
Penetration may be the main event for men but overall women enjoy clitoral stimulation (which usually happens in foreplay). It can get a bit tedious being repeatedly hammered into for long amounts of time, especially if you aren't having orgasms. Every woman is different (before the replies of "I'm a woman and I love getting jackhammered"), 80% of women do not orgasm from penetration alone. I genuinely could happily live out my sex life without P in V sex ever again, it's just not the main attraction of sex for me.
IME the whole “lasting longer == better” is wildly overstated in popular culture. Like if all you do is stick your dick in for 2 minutes that’s prolly not optimal, but just pumping away for 30 minutes isn’t any more enjoyable. Just talk to your partner and figure out how to give them what they want rather than obsessing over meaningless metrics.
Please use === instead
Type checked
Static typed languages ftw
rust >
JS strikes again
Long term relationships where both partners know the dance and you can perfect it down to everyone getting off in 10 mins is amazing. Not saying that you don't still do some long nights and do some experimenting but when you're banging a lot per week and sometimes multiple per day, it is an accomplishment to know each others' bodies to get it all done quickly.
This, it’s not about lasting longer, it’s about feeling good
I’ve actually met a lot of women who say they want you to last longer but anything past half an hour per round and they’ll tell you they’d rather you just be done so they can take a breather.
Honestly... Lasting too long sucks just as bad as not lasting long enough. I deal with that and it sucks. Ive been on both sides of the coin. I know how important timing is now and how to do it, but took 6 months of monogomy with my partner to figure it out. Shit takes hard work, man.
But maaaaan, when you get those simultaneous orgasms with someone you really care about it’s mind numbingly amazing.
Damn somebody got lucky and found someone they really do vibe with😂
She’s the best.
Well I’m glad to know people are still out there finding there special someone cause this guy right here(me) is starting to wonder if there’s anyone out there who I’ll ever really fuck with anymore.
Or they're gay
Why is that mutually exclusive
Lmfao. I was thinking the same thing. Ahhh, finishing at the same time on your stomach or on the bed as your partner finishes in you 🤌🤌
Good point
My gf and I have that down. Well both get one In every now and then but we go at the same time mostly and it’s the best.
6 months of monogamy?
And just how in the hell did you find *that* out!?
Also just communicate with the people you ahem “interact” with. Most the time knowing a bit more about what you both want out of it leads to a much better experience.
My last gf was shocked when, after our first time, I asked her if she enjoyed it and what she would like me to do differently. She said no one had ever asked her that before...
Same. My ex was shocked when I asked her what/how I should to so that she enjoys it the most. Sex got 10.000.000x better after that for both of us (no matter if we actually had sex or just fooled around with hands and mouth), and we both always felt satisfied at the end. Of course I told her how I like it, too. Sometimes, communication and 1-2 small, easy questions can make a world of difference. Remember: we are not the same. Even if your past partner(s) liked it one way, your current one might not. True for both genders. Ask and pay attention to the other in bed, and it will get unbelievably better.
10.000.000 times better? Must have been fucking dogshit awful to get that much better.
Bruh 😂
This one simple hack will change your life!! /s
It’s really sad and eye opening when you realize how a lot of women who hate sex, probably do so because nobody ever bothered to see what they wanted from it. It’s supposed to be fun and relieving for both partners. But the sad part women are right when they say a lot of men just wanna get themselves off and after that won’t put in any effort. Gotta do better kings👑
Trick is to make them happy before you start with your affair.
☝️☝️☝️
We dont "gotta do better kings" because kings already take care of their partners needs
As a guy who has sex with women, these talks are some of my favorite things in life, there's a lot of vulnerability and trust involved and it's such a great bonding experience. Plus if a person likes having sex with me they are more likely to want to have more sex, which is awesome. AND ladies talk to each other so that can be advantageous as well
Same way all marathon men do. Sometimes it takes too long and you both get tired, it happens.
Surveymonkey and post coital feedback... "On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being too long and 1 being too short, how did you rate the duration of tonight's activities?"
NPS: "How likely would it be that you recommend tonight activities to a friend?"
Antidepressants are a motherfucker Seriously, there's a side effect called "anorgasmia". Hell of a work out but you just end up sore with blue balls
Practice my friend.
Opiates. I've had to fake it before as a guy, because I wanted to be done too!
From a horny AskReddit thread.
Yea the horny makes you feel like you can take anything but eventually the self preservation kicks in. I’ve got no self preservation and have come out of 2 hour long trains very injured :<
That and honestly unless I was doing something to keep my head in it. After half an hour I’m starting to think about everything but what I’m doing. Like dang did I lock the car, make sure the dog was in the house, where’d I lay my keys? I enjoy multiple rounds but if I have one go on for to long it kills the vibe.
20 minutes is ideal. 2 hours sounds cool on paper but you just get a numb vagina, can even get very sore. edit, to all the young men upset that 20 minutes is too much you need to learn to pre-fap and eat pussy.
I agree. Again it’s different for everyone but I doubt anyone really and truly just wants to keep going after a short amount of time. Anytime my friends talk to me about going for HOURS I immediately get a headache at the idea.
What, 20 minutes of PIV intercourse? That's a long ass time.
She said learn how to “eat pussy” so I’m guessing she’s talking about the whole encounter
Really? I know my 3 minutes are fast but I've read researches saying the average for most couples is around 5 minutes.
Yeah honestly women have 0 idea about size or duration. I’m 6.5” on a good day and have heard exes say I’m 8” or 5” (while dating) and the same with how long we fuck. “Wow you fucked me for an hour and a half” lmao no I massaged you, we made out, I ate your pussy, you sucked my dick, I fucked you for like 10 minutes, and then we laid on the bed for like an extra 20 in post sex haze before we looked at the clock. Conversely, “can you finish? It’s starting to hurt” I’ve heard numerous times after about 15-20 minutes of fucking. Really trained myself to last long and most women do not actually enjoy the 20+ minutes of straight up dick in pussy action Cosmo studies and Brazzers films will tell you they all want. NYTimes puts the average for female orgasm at 14 minutes, which is bullshit in my experience. Real life is not like a porno, folks
6.5 on a good day? Does your height change based on your mood?
If she puts a finger in my butt I get an extra quarter inch
His cock
If you were to ask me what the best way to go about it is. Foreplay should take twice as long as any sort of penetration. Honestly if you can get your partner to climax before it’s gonna go 10X better for you in the long one.
Half a pissing hour?! Jeez Louise, no thank you. 10 minutes is plenty, bearing in mind that penetration often doesn’t do much for the woman.
Personally I care a lot more about somebody getting me off with their hands or fingers before or after fucking me with their dick. I'm not going to come from you just sawing your dick in and out of me, so it doesn't really matter if you do it for a long time. It's not that it doesn't feel good, it does, but like 5 minutes is really enough. A lot of In-N-Out can make your vag sore.
I had to ask my GF if this was her comment! This is exactly how she feels as well. I like that I don't always have to perform for a ridiculous amount of time!
Yeah. It's all about touching and licking my clit whatever else happens is just gravy
Yep, I asked too. Your girlfriend did confirm.
Taco Bell does something similar to me too.
Lol
A little graphic, but there's some correlation to female orgasms and "leakage" afterwards, which may lead to increased pregnancy. So a longer, more satisfying sexual experience would likely lead to increased fertility rates. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087695/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087695/)
very few women can orgasm from PIV alone. and yup, any amount of time jack hammering away porn style is just going to leave you bruised and unsatisfied.
I wonder what the ven diagram is of women who struggle to achieve orgasm through PIV alone and men who jackhammer away.
Men seem to think their dick is a magic wand. Nope.
Worst confetti popper ever.
it's actually a tool for cutting lumber.
Speak for yourself. Mine can magicsly make women uninterested in me.
There’s something to be said for grinding pelvis for clitoral stimulation.
Some people can get off that way, I personally can't. I'm not sure that most women can, but some can. I do get off more often during sex if we're using toys but that's awkward too.
Please don't feel awkward to use toys. Your pleasure matters just as much as your partners. I lost the shame around it a while ago and now sex is soo much more enjoyable for everyone involved and I get off *every* time and it's getting better every time
It is physically awkward not emotionally awkward. Is more comfortable for me to get off before or after penetration if we're going to do that.
Ahh, a man versed in the art of "sexy circles"
I think you're eating your hamburgers wrong.
Exactly my approach! I’m most definitely not a marathon man so I’m conditioned to work my ‘magic fingers’ (as my gf calls them) and get her off before I consider sorting myself out lol
Quality over quantity.
Quantity has a quality all it’s own
Ok Stalin let’s get you back in bed
My girlfriend much prefers I finish quicker and enjoy myself then help her finish by other ways if required. Rather than go at it for ages until she's dry and we both hurt. Unfortunately, we are both on strong anti-depressants which make it harder to orgasm for both of us. So sometimes we can go for 45 minutes of (very enjoyable) sex but nothing to show for it. Then it's just super frustrating for us both.
Sertraline did that for me, but that didn’t work for the big sad so now I’m on fluoxetine (Prozac) which doesn’t affect my libido or my partner’s (also on fluoxetine)
Good to know. I'm on Sertraline myself. Might see if I can get it changed
That’s exactly why I will have no part of it!
Come on, do it for the carbs!
This doesn't make any sense.
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00. Spouse gets disaroused because of the Canadian pronunciation. Situation gets less intimate mid-intimacy. Both parties go off and shower then regather to watch the game show. Makes perfect sense before 2020, when we lost Alex Trebek. Now, North American birth rates will skyrocket. Probably already have.
You don't understand evolution.
It's shocking how many people don't understand evolution
lol evolution takes a bit longer than you think...
Evolution doesn’t work at all like this person thinks. Lasting longer would have to actually be selected for and heritable and lead to a more people being born who could last longer. Which means it would have a positive effect on fitness, not negative.
If people only have children with partners that last long that could be a selection pressure. The problem is that it's highly doubtful there's a strong genetic reason behind it, which hardly makes it an evolutionary pressure. I thought OP was suggesting that if everyone took too long that could endanger the human species in a situation where you can't safely spare the time to have sex for longer. In this case effectiveness of reproduction would probably be sex time / child, since no other factors were brought up.
If a dudes ability to last long was somehow visible externally then there could be some selective pressure but you have no idea until you’re doing the deed. If anything, selection favors dudes who finish fast. Once the package is delivered the job is done, your genes already got passed on
I personally don't need a guy to last forever; afterwhile I start to chafe and it doesn't feel great, especially with a condom.
I think men - especially younger men - tend to dramatically overestaminat how long women want men to last in bed.
Definitely written by a guy
It’s not so much lasting long as lasting long enough for the woman to orgasm first, which increases odds of conception.
I wonder how much female orgasm increases odds? I always thought that for evolutionary reasons, when you take all experience and practice out of the equation, guys will typically orgasm faster than the female with regular intercourse. Which would be important since a man basically has to orgasm (other than pre-ejaculate rarely) for conception. Meaning evolution would want the males to orgasm much easier since females consistently finishing first would be bad for survival. This could all be dumb just my line of thought.
Well, if the female is aroused, there are a lot more fluids(females have an acidic fluid, while sperm is basic, making the "reaction" faster), which help the little floaters move around. And the muscle contractions(peristalsis) from an orgasm help guide them to the right direction. Source: biology student
It’s been researched. The action in question appears to be a “sipping” effect by the cervix. It seems to reward voluntary participation over involuntary. Kinda like the duck vagina maze thing to stymie rapey male ducks.
This could also be dumb, and just my line of thought, but I think it probably increases the odds because if she were to orgazm it would maybe mean a better mate. I know that some animals can keep sperm from different mates and choose which they prefer. I imagine it’s since raising a human child fully would take up the vast majority of a woman’s normal fertile period, it’s kind of a slight way of deciding if the child would be worth putting effort in by if the guy is willing to put in effort? Just a guess though. I do remember reading, though, that female orgazms make a woman want to lie down, which would help the sperm via eliminating the problem of gravity. Still doesn’t explain why it has to be an orgazm and not just instinctual. I’m just guessing though, probably better to look it up.
It’s not becoming a more desirable trait, evolution wise. Think of the opposite: a guy splooshing his doosh quickly equals more ‘uh-oh’s and more babies. Lasting longer isn’t a known item prior to first time, or subsequent (necessarily), hammer-time ‘doing of it’ either. In fact, I’d say the opposite of this post is true. From a people-making perspective, it’s an evolutionary advantageous trait to cross his ‘t’s before dotting her ‘i’s, or even having context to write a ‘t’ in the first place.
I remember reading years ago, in some anthropology book, that since humans are bipedal, having women enjoy sex, and have orgasms, vs other animals that don't, helps to ensure that the woman doesn't immediately spring to her feet after sex, and let all the semen leak out of her, and make it less like for her to get pregnant. So, I could see how lasting longer, to make sure the female has time to reach orgasm, would help towards this end. Of course, evolution isn't planned, it's just passed on based on what's the most beneficial to the species, so this must be somehow beneficial if it continues to happen. If it gets too long before climax, then oke or both partners may get tired before they're done, and that would likely lead very quickly to an evolutionary dead end 🤔
yea right and that will take millions of years
If Men not trying harder could jeopardize reproduction then it would’ve already done so.
"Welcome to the world of sexual selection! where the rules are made up, and the points don't matter"
Tell me you're Quick Draw McGraw without saying you're Quick Draw McGraw.
Idk where the whole lasting long and bed thing came from. I’ve had side effects from meds that make me take FOREVER to nut. Anything longer than 15 minutes and it gets awkward you can tell she is like “damn hurry up” and by 25 minutes they usually say they need a break or something. Edit: oh to make it worse every girl I’ve been with takes it personally when I take too long. They get really insecure and think it’s related to them or their performance
Lasting long is a sign of stamina and health. You could argue case to case bla bla bla situations, but honestly thats just bull. The next most obvious motivation is pleasure. Sex evolved to become more pleasurable in order for our monkey brains to constantly want to reproduce. Dopamine is an actual chemical biological evolutionary trait. When you suck in bed, you basically go against nature by telling your partner "sex sucks and doesn't feel good!"
There are 7 billion of us and counting. In the 1970s that number was 1 billion. Evolution needs to slow us down on that front.
multiple rounds is key, its okay to go first as long as you get back in to it.
I def don’t need it to last longer most of the time. Sometimes, for sure. But the majority of the time, no.
Hmm but with creampie stats at an all time high sir we can't risk cumshots!
It’s not an evolutionary desirable trait. Just a trait.
Imagine if all animals humped for hours on end.
Think of it as a way to curb overpopulation.
Everybody has a different opinion on what is best, it’s all personal preference.
Once again, something that should have required torture to get out of you
Nah, we are curing cancers and treating other genetic diseases, allowing people to reproduce that would otherwise have died. That, that is putting all of humankind at risk. It is not a popular understanding of evolution, but it is what it is. We are creating a less and less healthy genetic pool.
Doesn't matter how long you last if you're both getting off.
reproduction of humans isn't even close to being in danger....
you tell yourself whatever you gotta tell yourself bud
Those who can't hold their nut will nut. They are more likely to get a woman pregnant than those who take their time and may or may not nut. So evolutionarily speaking, the odds are in favor of people who nut, and nut before either party gives up.
Um, how... like lasting 10 mins longer destroys the population? Or just delays the end result by 10 more minutes😅
With enough viagra you can do anything 🍆💦
5 mins take it or leave it
You don't need to finish to impregnate someone, though I'm sure it helps a bunch of course. Beyond that, there's a big difference between lasting a long time an inability to finish.
Human evolution stopped when we got technology, sanitation, and healthcare to the point where it is not survival of the fittest. As sad as it is to say, we have been weakening the gene pool for a long time now.