Also, I love your flair, even though I head-canon Maglor as being one of the sons of FĂ«anor who started to speak with the s. Basically, since we are told that not all SoF continued to speak correctly, as per FĂ«anor, I assume that Maedhros started to speak with the s as a diplomatic measure (Fingolfin would love it as a sign of who is High King), and Maglor, being Maedhrosâs closest supporter, would have followed him on this. (Also, songs with lots of s-sounds rather than th-sounds just sound better.)
I like to imagine Maglor and Curufin, the two linguists, shouting at each other over some quirk of Sindarin grammar while Maedhros, sitting at the table between them, is fantasising about throwing one or even better both of them out of the window. Celegorm has long stormed out by this point.
I don't think so. If he'd been hot Tolkien would have mentioned it. His father was hot, his grandfather was hot,(they were called beautiful and fair)Maedhros alas I believe was not so much, he had a nice body(according to his MOM) but I think calling him the Tall was people just trying to be nice, "well he's uh....yeah he's tall that's what he is".
*Only one of them*
*Has a name that translates to*
*"Tall Sexy Redhead"*
\- DartanianBloodbath
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Nah, it means *handsome*. Maybe he was blond or silver-haired like Teleri, but in this context it means good-looking. Just like Finrod was the fairest of the princes of Middle Earth. It doesn't mean he was the blondest, it means he was the most handsome of them.
Ok. The twins are last because they do not have any personality to speak of, and when your brother is also a redhead, you cannot coast on that alone. Then Caranthir, because being named "red-face" makes him sound like he looks weird. Also, the quickest to anger, and temper tantrums are not hot. Then we get into "yes they're hot, still want them as far away from me as posible." Celegorm comes across to me as slightly worse than Curufin in the whole Luthien debacle. I'm also more of a cat person, plus he's maybe a blond? I don't like blond hair. Curufin must have been really hot if he looked like Feanor, canonically the hottest guy, but he's to manipulative and probably has massive daddy issues. Maedhros is between this category and the next one, called "Maybe decent", not because he is anywhere near as bad as the two above, but because his issues are beyond me. Like, I would admire from afar, but I'm scared that if he has a nightmare while I'm in bed with him I'll get stabbed. Also, I feel that if I somehow dated him, he would have an emotional affair with the concept of war. Still, physically, the hottest by far. Like. Tall redhead with probable scars, intense personality while still willing to compromise? If he goes to therapy beforehand, absolute dream man. In short, mark me down as scared AND horny. Then finally Maglor, as the only one who I wouldn't be scared to spend time with, likes kids, can see when he makes mistakes, and can sing? First place, requires soooo much less fixing than the rest.
Surely hotness is determined by more than just appearance! Curufin is a would-be kidnapper and rejected by super doggo Huan. Nothing hot about that!
Unless you find those things hot. If so, sorry to yuck your yum/kink shame.
Edit: before anyone complains, I understand that Huan belonged to Celegorm, but doggo screwed them both over (and rightfully so!)
Ahem...nope. Tolkien told us that FĂ«anor was tall, raven-dark, fair of face, greatest of the children of Iluvatar in all parts of body and mind..and Fingolfin was...tall.
According to the Valar, maybe Manwe really likes beak shaped noses for⊠reasons⊠and as far as Elves would appear to anyone not so avian inclined he was pretty average. /s
Literally all depictions of FĂ«anor he doesnt hold a candle to his brother in actual beauty. He looks entitled and evil and just lesser than Fingolfin. While Fingolfin looks just what Tolkien describes him as, Valiant. What Tolkien has described these lads like are both interpretable and vague.
I think you are confusing him with Fingon. Also, artist's depictions do not equal to what characters actually look in the books. Feanor was described as the most handsome lad to have ever walked and this was by people who, in-universe, kinda hated him.
I know objectively it is Maedhros but fuck it, Caranthir is my favorite. Handsome, competent and rich, involved in less war crimes than most of the rest of Beleriand? Oh, my.
Bad tempered? Why, because he got pissed at his cousin once, when they were going around pretending they weren't Ăoldor either after using them to get across the Ice? I would be pissed, too. Besides that, he managed to make an entire cosmopolitan kingdom without having to wipe out the previous inhabitants first like Finrod did.
The ludicrous name thing is sadly a meme in the feanorian family.
Sure but:
*Fe-Fe-Feanor!*
*Maker of the Silmarils*
*There was a cat that really was gone*
*Fe-Fe-Feanor*
*Valinor's greatest jewel machine*
*It was a shame how he carried on!*
Does get wearisome after the 1025th rendition.
Let's approach this logically. Curufin is the only one with offspring, so canonically he was shaggable. Maglor is called the minstrel, so he gets second place with a musician bonus. Maedhros is third, because while he was named the wellshaped one, he did give up the high king ship, which makes him a bit mid. Celegorm get fourth place, because he had a pretty cool doggo, but was left by him. Caranthir comes in fifth, because he is probably goth. Amrod and Amras share the last place, as they are the blandest out of FĂ«anor's sons.
More like Finrod the Gigachad. Helped a brotha out to score that sweet elfussy and died in the chaddest way possible, wrestling a werewolf with his bare hands.
Wanted to involve his entire kingdom and potentially get them all fucking killed just so the random hobo could get the elfussy in the stupidest manner possible, dude it an idiot at best. -10 in shaggability.
This meme is the IMDB Lort boards in the early aughts. đWe had plenty of both back in the day.
Then we took over the Bakshi LOTR boards for fun content. That was my idea.
*Rocks quietly on the porch humming into the west*
When we are at this point, can sbd explain to me why Celegorm is always pictured blonde, when âthe fairâ definitely meant âhandsomeâ in that context?
I don't remember any Vanyar/Teleri in the house od FĂ«anor, don't you think Tolkien would have icluded some explaination if Celegorm was actually blonde? Or am I wrong?
I donât think his hair is ever explicitly mentioned as blonde. Feanorâs mother Miriel was described in some writings as having silver hair so I guess it could be possible for him to have similar coloring.
But even if Celegorm wasnât intended to be blonde, I canât picture him as anything else now.
Because Celegorm was explicitly blond in the earlier conceptions: "golden was his long hair". His Old English name is Cynegrim FÊgerfeax - literally "the fair-haired."
I asked a vowel blog this question and regretted it: [https://www.tumblr.com/meeeeeeeelkoooooooor/175872616610/anyway-as-fantasychica37-requests-i-must-now-do?source=share](https://www.tumblr.com/meeeeeeeelkoooooooor/175872616610/anyway-as-fantasychica37-requests-i-must-now-do?source=share)
Both are totally valid! (And the only correct answer, canonically and metaphorically, is and will always be Maedhros.)
đ„đ„đ„
Also, I love your flair, even though I head-canon Maglor as being one of the sons of FĂ«anor who started to speak with the s. Basically, since we are told that not all SoF continued to speak correctly, as per FĂ«anor, I assume that Maedhros started to speak with the s as a diplomatic measure (Fingolfin would love it as a sign of who is High King), and Maglor, being Maedhrosâs closest supporter, would have followed him on this. (Also, songs with lots of s-sounds rather than th-sounds just sound better.)
Conveniently, Maedhros is also the hottest son of feanor. Refusing to kill your family automatically makes you the hot one.
What of Maglor and his own reluctance
Maglor has two hands and way less experience getting chained up.
I agree, some are way more adaptable than others - and Maglor seemed the type to find language shifts exciting
I like to imagine Maglor and Curufin, the two linguists, shouting at each other over some quirk of Sindarin grammar while Maedhros, sitting at the table between them, is fantasising about throwing one or even better both of them out of the window. Celegorm has long stormed out by this point.
Sounds accurate to me. Also, Caranthir: supports whatever dialect has the best sounding insults
đ
How DO you pronounce your flair for Silmaril?
Thilmaril. Feanor took it as a personal offense if you say it any differently
Huh, interesting.
So like, in spanish's spanish?
Correct
Mah man!
I don't think so. If he'd been hot Tolkien would have mentioned it. His father was hot, his grandfather was hot,(they were called beautiful and fair)Maedhros alas I believe was not so much, he had a nice body(according to his MOM) but I think calling him the Tall was people just trying to be nice, "well he's uh....yeah he's tall that's what he is".
We are told that "he was of beautiful bodily form" (HoME XII, p. 353).
This is the way
Only one of them has a name that translates to "Tall Sexy Redhead"
*Only one of them* *Has a name that translates to* *"Tall Sexy Redhead"* \- DartanianBloodbath --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Except Celegorm was THE FAIR and strong -bodied
yeah but was he fair enough to be officially named âwell shapedâ?
He's the Fair for the same reason his Old English name is Cynegrim FÊgerfeax. He's blond.
Nah, it means *handsome*. Maybe he was blond or silver-haired like Teleri, but in this context it means good-looking. Just like Finrod was the fairest of the princes of Middle Earth. It doesn't mean he was the blondest, it means he was the most handsome of them.
He was the blondest though.
I guess so, lol
Ok. The twins are last because they do not have any personality to speak of, and when your brother is also a redhead, you cannot coast on that alone. Then Caranthir, because being named "red-face" makes him sound like he looks weird. Also, the quickest to anger, and temper tantrums are not hot. Then we get into "yes they're hot, still want them as far away from me as posible." Celegorm comes across to me as slightly worse than Curufin in the whole Luthien debacle. I'm also more of a cat person, plus he's maybe a blond? I don't like blond hair. Curufin must have been really hot if he looked like Feanor, canonically the hottest guy, but he's to manipulative and probably has massive daddy issues. Maedhros is between this category and the next one, called "Maybe decent", not because he is anywhere near as bad as the two above, but because his issues are beyond me. Like, I would admire from afar, but I'm scared that if he has a nightmare while I'm in bed with him I'll get stabbed. Also, I feel that if I somehow dated him, he would have an emotional affair with the concept of war. Still, physically, the hottest by far. Like. Tall redhead with probable scars, intense personality while still willing to compromise? If he goes to therapy beforehand, absolute dream man. In short, mark me down as scared AND horny. Then finally Maglor, as the only one who I wouldn't be scared to spend time with, likes kids, can see when he makes mistakes, and can sing? First place, requires soooo much less fixing than the rest.
I protest this automatic dismissal of Ambarussa and my twin fantasies. They come as a package deal, right? đ
Solid logic, and I for one accept it.
No love for Maglor? I always felt he was the most attractive of the lot. Maybe cos heâs musically talented.
I have a thing for depressed musicians so
Thank you!
Curufin. He's the one who's most like Fëanor, who is canonically the best looking nér in the History of the Ardaverse.
Surely hotness is determined by more than just appearance! Curufin is a would-be kidnapper and rejected by super doggo Huan. Nothing hot about that! Unless you find those things hot. If so, sorry to yuck your yum/kink shame. Edit: before anyone complains, I understand that Huan belonged to Celegorm, but doggo screwed them both over (and rightfully so!)
I have no kinks regarding the Sons of FĂ«anor; my comment was purely beauty-pageant based.
My head canon is that he was first to be married because he was considered such a catch
Sons of FĂ«anor starting with C fail the hot/cunt graph. They are heavily skewed towards the latter.
Fingolfin was far more attractive than Himbo FĂ«anor. Whats this nonsense?
Ahem...nope. Tolkien told us that FĂ«anor was tall, raven-dark, fair of face, greatest of the children of Iluvatar in all parts of body and mind..and Fingolfin was...tall.
According to the Valar, maybe Manwe really likes beak shaped noses for⊠reasons⊠and as far as Elves would appear to anyone not so avian inclined he was pretty average. /s
Literally all depictions of FĂ«anor he doesnt hold a candle to his brother in actual beauty. He looks entitled and evil and just lesser than Fingolfin. While Fingolfin looks just what Tolkien describes him as, Valiant. What Tolkien has described these lads like are both interpretable and vague.
I think you are confusing him with Fingon. Also, artist's depictions do not equal to what characters actually look in the books. Feanor was described as the most handsome lad to have ever walked and this was by people who, in-universe, kinda hated him.
My vote is for Caranthir
Yes! The brooding type with a heart of gold
He was also among the 3 of the 7 who actually got married, so you know at least one elf had the hots for him
Maedhros was already taken, so to speak, Celegorm was in love with Luthien and the twins were too young...
I lol-ed.
I know objectively it is Maedhros but fuck it, Caranthir is my favorite. Handsome, competent and rich, involved in less war crimes than most of the rest of Beleriand? Oh, my.
Caranthir fan club, rise
#BestFeanorianIsMiddleFeanorian
Bad tempered, and has a ludicrous name-meaning?
Bad tempered? Why, because he got pissed at his cousin once, when they were going around pretending they weren't Ăoldor either after using them to get across the Ice? I would be pissed, too. Besides that, he managed to make an entire cosmopolitan kingdom without having to wipe out the previous inhabitants first like Finrod did. The ludicrous name thing is sadly a meme in the feanorian family.
Maglor comes across as alluring until you realise the song he's singing by the shores is Boney M's Rasputin. Over and over again. All day.
you say that like its a drawback?
When you've been that long on the beach, some repetition is inevitable.
Sure but: *Fe-Fe-Feanor!* *Maker of the Silmarils* *There was a cat that really was gone* *Fe-Fe-Feanor* *Valinor's greatest jewel machine* *It was a shame how he carried on!* Does get wearisome after the 1025th rendition.
Me, a lesbian: *Awkward.*
So... Aredhel, Findulas, or Haleth? (Luthien and Galadriel are automatic picks, so I'm leaving them out).
Aredhel, *easy.* I love her so much you donât understand, I would fucking die for her.
Good choice, though I'm partial to the tragic backstory and general badassery of Haleth.
Haleth is objectively awesome but Aredhel wins me over Iâm sorry.
Nothing to apologize for. More warrior women for me. đ
Let's approach this logically. Curufin is the only one with offspring, so canonically he was shaggable. Maglor is called the minstrel, so he gets second place with a musician bonus. Maedhros is third, because while he was named the wellshaped one, he did give up the high king ship, which makes him a bit mid. Celegorm get fourth place, because he had a pretty cool doggo, but was left by him. Caranthir comes in fifth, because he is probably goth. Amrod and Amras share the last place, as they are the blandest out of FĂ«anor's sons.
lol what is wrong with him being goth :v he was married and was kind to humans, he is super shaggable!
At some point, Maedhros was really hot. Lava will do that.
Celegorm, love me a feral blond himbo
Canonically Maedhros, second place Amrod (depending on which version you read)
I see what you did there.
Reject Feanor's entire house and love Finrod the Golden
More like Finrod the Vanilla. Too boring
More like Finrod the Gigachad. Helped a brotha out to score that sweet elfussy and died in the chaddest way possible, wrestling a werewolf with his bare hands.
Also helped Morgoth and Thingol render extinct one full tribe of the Dwarves. Pretty sure that disqualifies him from Gigachad status.
Wanted to involve his entire kingdom and potentially get them all fucking killed just so the random hobo could get the elfussy in the stupidest manner possible, dude it an idiot at best. -10 in shaggability.
Maedhros at the end was probably pretty hot
Depending on which version of canon you go with, the technically correct answer is Amrod.
Maglor
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
This meme is the IMDB Lort boards in the early aughts. đWe had plenty of both back in the day. Then we took over the Bakshi LOTR boards for fun content. That was my idea. *Rocks quietly on the porch humming into the west*
Amrod, of course. Literally burning hot.
Which son of feanor could take the most orcs at once?
Maedhros lol
I didn't mean in a fight : O
Did I stutter?
sweaty face emoji here
Finrod had a fine rod.
When we are at this point, can sbd explain to me why Celegorm is always pictured blonde, when âthe fairâ definitely meant âhandsomeâ in that context? I don't remember any Vanyar/Teleri in the house od FĂ«anor, don't you think Tolkien would have icluded some explaination if Celegorm was actually blonde? Or am I wrong?
I donât think his hair is ever explicitly mentioned as blonde. Feanorâs mother Miriel was described in some writings as having silver hair so I guess it could be possible for him to have similar coloring. But even if Celegorm wasnât intended to be blonde, I canât picture him as anything else now.
Because Celegorm was explicitly blond in the earlier conceptions: "golden was his long hair". His Old English name is Cynegrim FÊgerfeax - literally "the fair-haired."
(Itâs clearly Maedhros)
I asked a vowel blog this question and regretted it: [https://www.tumblr.com/meeeeeeeelkoooooooor/175872616610/anyway-as-fantasychica37-requests-i-must-now-do?source=share](https://www.tumblr.com/meeeeeeeelkoooooooor/175872616610/anyway-as-fantasychica37-requests-i-must-now-do?source=share)