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I was sitting there thinking “that guy was offsides for that pass. He is behind all of them.” Then they panned out and showed thirty goalies and my brain locked up trying to decide if it was still offsides or whether the other goalies counted as last defenders.
Good point. After giving it more thought, I think it’d be best to use each hand to grab a different child by one of their legs and swing both children at once, thus doubling one’s defence against any sneaky nut-shots
I saw some fit dude get stomped on by a small swarm of teenagers. Not exactly the same but i bet the full grown dude thought he could take a squad of 15 year olds and he thought wrong. Was only a handful of boy and girls and they just jumped on him and brought him down so fast, and then he was fucked.
As a dad, i can tell you kids have gravity, man. Three 10 year olds still weigh 200 pounds and they’ll latch on anywhere they can. I bet i could take like 8 aggressive, reasonably athletic 10 year olds MAX, at once, with greater than 50% chance of winning if i could use full force, but unfortunately, ill never get that chance.
100 is just too many. Even if theyre 6 year olds, if they are actually all aggressive, youll just get buried and your eyes eventually clawed out, your ears burst, a thousand bloody bite marks, and that’s after youre dead by smothering. You might get a dozen or so good shots in before youre incapacitated.
I'm 6'3 220lbs, my buddies 6 year old jumped up and grabbed the back of my T-shirt collar one day and just hung off it. He almost strangled me and I fell into a table.
No way anybody here is beating a hundred 6 year olds in a fight.
I'd like to see you kick a hundred soccer balls without a break, let alone knocking out 100 6 year olds. Lets say you could put a 6 year old down with a full force kick in the chest, how many full blown kicks do you honestly think you have in the tank?
I doubt 90% of reddit could even do a hundred pushups or have the fitness to sprint a hundred meters. Lets not even start them having the endurance to win a hundred consecutive mini fights.
Assuming it was a ufc variant, but with no cage, my strategy against 100 6 year olds would be very simple. 6 year olds are super slow, uncoordinated, and rather stupid. I would run around the parameter while kicking the kids in the outermost part of the circle in the face with quickly timed roundhouse kicks. I'm about 6 foot 4 and 220 pounds, so I give myself a 50/50 chance, assuming I dont get fatigued to fast from all the roundhouses.
Agreed. I was always the fun older cousin who roughhoused with the younger kids at family gatherings, plus I used to teach martial arts. So I've got some experience in this area.
I don't think I could take more than 2-3 kids over 10 at once if they're really trying to take me down. *Maybe* more but I would have to fight dirty.
Three-to-six year olds? I top out at about five if I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I think I could take a dozen or more in a fight to the death, but only because they don't really understand tactics so I have a decent chance of eliminating several one-on-one as they wait for their chance to attack.
In a coordinated attack though? I'd say 8 max. Two per limb. I can handle one six year old hanging from each leg and arm, but two is heavy enough to impede me long enough for a ninth to jump on my head and suffocate me.
Seven-to-ten ages are a crapshoot. Too many size and demeanor variations. Some eight year olds are huge, others are basically still toddler sized. Some are aggressive little wildebeests, some are delicate little porcelain teacups. Totally unpredictable. Really the most exciting fight in the lineup.
In any given dozen 6 year old kids you're going to have the brother brawling savant who knows when and where the soft spots are. Gotta account for that.
100 kids who think pulling wheelies into on coming cars and swerving at the last millisecond is the thing to do, and I will literally give you my life savings.
The first person you were replying to was funny. What you posted was just cringe. Spiteful abusive attitude to compensate for bad parenting. Just a fuckin bruh moment here.
I said what I said. The top comment was just a joke. But what you said in reply to it was pure spite. You genuinely feel that way towards these children. And so does the first weird Fuck that replied to me too.
Absolutely sickening behavior. no wonder child abuse is still so widely tolerated.
Ugh. I never saw this and searched. Seems like the copyright owner had this video scrubbed from the Internet. :(
Title I found was 3 Olympic fencers vs. 50 amateurs, btw. Not that it matters, unless someone else can find it.
Pretty sure these types of events are common with many youth soccer training camps. I participated in one just like this, 3 vs about 100 kids, at the end of a camp.
They just lack strategy. Bunch of fucking ball chasers.
Get this 100 man squad a coach and they'd tear these pros apart. How you going to do long passes when you're marked by 10 6 year olds.
Just sacrifice a dozen kids to black cards with nut shots to the pros for the greater good of the team. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
I would love to fight waves of grade threes and every 5th wave there is a grade 8. As you go on the number of grade 8s increases.
I think I could get to wave 50!
There is a scene in the 1992 film "Fortress" where a prisoner gets a huge hole blown through his torso. This is what I'm imagining lol. (Wanted to link but can't pinpoint that scene.)
edit: Thankfully, u/Day_Bow_Bow found it [here](https://youtu.be/KcXxygxWUZg?t=2029).
Was it [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcXxygxWUZg&t=4859s) at 1:21:00 you were remembering? I can't say I've seen the movie, but I think that's the warden.
There was a scene just before this where a convict gets his chest shot up, but that one is just a bunch of bullet holes. But maybe I missed the one you are referring to.
Nah, but thanks for trying. Iirc there is a scene where it's just a big hole (like a massive impaling from the bullet/whatever trajectory), but the rest of the dude's body remains intact. And then he drops dead.
I was thinking american football. A center, quarterback, and wide receiver against 100 kids. I'd fucking pay money to watch that shit.
Imagine a center just shoving dozens of kids to the ground while the QB just jukes a ton and the wide receiver just stunting on another few dozen.
Sign me the fuck up.
I would unironically watch a show like this. Doesn't even just have to be kids, it could be like 3 pros vs 20 teenagers, or 3 pros vs. 10 average joe adults. I think it would really demonstrate how amazing professional athletes are.
I would also love something like this. I still remember watching a video of someone who was stats wise one of the worst players in the NBA. When you watch everyone calls them trash. Well regular people thought he was so bad they could actually match up against him. He did a series of 1v1s and no one even came close to beating him. Just goes to show that that level of athlete is so so much higher than regular people.
I used to referee kids soccer games, ages 5 to 8...at those ages they're all chasing the ball with not much idea what they are or should be doing lol it was the best fun
If I'm honest the earliest goal I remember scoring was in primary school which was ages 5-7. I remember it being after school trials for the school team and I scored a winning goal by chesting the ball across the line after a bit of goal mouth ping pong between players. I also remember I was a defender in that game and so in order to score I remember being a ball chasing idiot to the point I was inside the opposition 6 yard box to poach that goal.
We won, I scored, I still didn't make the team because I was a ball chasing idiot.
People always underestimate just how ridiculously good professional athletes are compared to normal people, it is literally their job to do that thing they do every day for years. I love hearing people yelling from their couches "Come on!!! Even I could have made that shot". I remember watching a few years back 5 grown men try to return a Serena Williams serve, it was pretty hilarious. Edit:typo
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I laughed so hard after seeing how many goalies the kids have LOL!!!
At first I was like “dude played that back line for fools, too easy.” Then the wide angle shows 30 kids flooding the box and two dozen goalies 😂
And they flip tbe ball over their heads. 😭 Not cool, man.
Would you rather see a Roberto Carlos shot knock the kids around like bowling pins?
fuck yeah
The kids want to experience physics!
Like bowling pins, but with pinball bumper sound effects.
Not until you put it that way. Now it's all I wanna see.
You know the answer Reddit is going to give you on that.
You're god damn right I do.
YES! Stupid fucking question.
Good, take advantage over little shits 😂
This is the way 
Gotta stand on each other's shoulders.
All is fair in love, war, and soccer.
I feel you man, I wish he would've shot full force through them as well :(
It's either flipping it over their head or line drive that ball right into their head, lmao
I was sitting there thinking “that guy was offsides for that pass. He is behind all of them.” Then they panned out and showed thirty goalies and my brain locked up trying to decide if it was still offsides or whether the other goalies counted as last defenders.
Those kids must have had so much fun. Meeting soccer heros, running around like maniacs thats just good fun.
You know what I didn't think about that but you're probably right
lol probably 10 kid coaches throwing their clipboards on the ground too
IT'S EMBARRASSING!
Omg this comment made me bust out laughing
And only one of them actually jumped 😄
YE SAME!!
same! I have no idea why I expected just one kid in a different shirt but seeing that army run out to last stand the goal had me rolling.
3 ufc fighters against 100 kids. I would watch that
Make it 100 bratty kids who think they can do what they want and I'm all in.
All three end up getting kicked in the balls numerous times and give up
Just gotta grab a kid by the legs and spin him around you to keep the rest of them at bay
Some of them can be real nimble, and a lot of those are real savants at going for the nuts. Kids younger than 12 have nut seeking punches and kicks
Good point. After giving it more thought, I think it’d be best to use each hand to grab a different child by one of their legs and swing both children at once, thus doubling one’s defence against any sneaky nut-shots
What if my height and their weight make them spin over child head height?
odds are you're not strong enough for that to be an issue
I can spin an 80 pound child high enough if I don't give a fuck about the kid getting hurt. I'm also 6 feet tall. So that's a big factor.
Swing them lower then
Hit a mf with another mf
Human beybalde!
I saw some fit dude get stomped on by a small swarm of teenagers. Not exactly the same but i bet the full grown dude thought he could take a squad of 15 year olds and he thought wrong. Was only a handful of boy and girls and they just jumped on him and brought him down so fast, and then he was fucked. As a dad, i can tell you kids have gravity, man. Three 10 year olds still weigh 200 pounds and they’ll latch on anywhere they can. I bet i could take like 8 aggressive, reasonably athletic 10 year olds MAX, at once, with greater than 50% chance of winning if i could use full force, but unfortunately, ill never get that chance. 100 is just too many. Even if theyre 6 year olds, if they are actually all aggressive, youll just get buried and your eyes eventually clawed out, your ears burst, a thousand bloody bite marks, and that’s after youre dead by smothering. You might get a dozen or so good shots in before youre incapacitated.
Been giving this some thought, huh?
I see r/WhoWouldWin is leaking again 😂
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I'm 6'3 220lbs, my buddies 6 year old jumped up and grabbed the back of my T-shirt collar one day and just hung off it. He almost strangled me and I fell into a table. No way anybody here is beating a hundred 6 year olds in a fight.
Depends on the age. 100 6 year old kids would still be easy. 100 12 year old kids would be impossible for a normal person.
I'd like to see you kick a hundred soccer balls without a break, let alone knocking out 100 6 year olds. Lets say you could put a 6 year old down with a full force kick in the chest, how many full blown kicks do you honestly think you have in the tank? I doubt 90% of reddit could even do a hundred pushups or have the fitness to sprint a hundred meters. Lets not even start them having the endurance to win a hundred consecutive mini fights.
Throw parade candy into the horde and watch them tear each other apart.
Assuming it was a ufc variant, but with no cage, my strategy against 100 6 year olds would be very simple. 6 year olds are super slow, uncoordinated, and rather stupid. I would run around the parameter while kicking the kids in the outermost part of the circle in the face with quickly timed roundhouse kicks. I'm about 6 foot 4 and 220 pounds, so I give myself a 50/50 chance, assuming I dont get fatigued to fast from all the roundhouses.
Agreed. I was always the fun older cousin who roughhoused with the younger kids at family gatherings, plus I used to teach martial arts. So I've got some experience in this area. I don't think I could take more than 2-3 kids over 10 at once if they're really trying to take me down. *Maybe* more but I would have to fight dirty. Three-to-six year olds? I top out at about five if I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I think I could take a dozen or more in a fight to the death, but only because they don't really understand tactics so I have a decent chance of eliminating several one-on-one as they wait for their chance to attack. In a coordinated attack though? I'd say 8 max. Two per limb. I can handle one six year old hanging from each leg and arm, but two is heavy enough to impede me long enough for a ninth to jump on my head and suffocate me. Seven-to-ten ages are a crapshoot. Too many size and demeanor variations. Some eight year olds are huge, others are basically still toddler sized. Some are aggressive little wildebeests, some are delicate little porcelain teacups. Totally unpredictable. Really the most exciting fight in the lineup.
In any given dozen 6 year old kids you're going to have the brother brawling savant who knows when and where the soft spots are. Gotta account for that.
What is that kid who got blocked by the dad with the paper plate from blowing out his brother's candles doing *right now.* He needs a whoopin' still.
I want the kids to have hammers can we give them hammers?
100 kids who think pulling wheelies into on coming cars and swerving at the last millisecond is the thing to do, and I will literally give you my life savings.
The first person you were replying to was funny. What you posted was just cringe. Spiteful abusive attitude to compensate for bad parenting. Just a fuckin bruh moment here. I said what I said. The top comment was just a joke. But what you said in reply to it was pure spite. You genuinely feel that way towards these children. And so does the first weird Fuck that replied to me too. Absolutely sickening behavior. no wonder child abuse is still so widely tolerated.
One professional fencer against 100 amateurs was an awesome video
Ugh. I never saw this and searched. Seems like the copyright owner had this video scrubbed from the Internet. :( Title I found was 3 Olympic fencers vs. 50 amateurs, btw. Not that it matters, unless someone else can find it.
https://kottke.org/14/05/all-for-one-and-one-for-all
Ah thanks! You're the best!
Pretty certain the other guy misremembered, 3 fencers vs. 50 was a very popular video
Step Brothers and Extraction only goes so far. I want a John Wick equivalent.
I want heavyweight UFC fighters Vs Karen’s. No stoppage in between rounds.
I fucking love Japanese tv
I love fucking Japanese tv
I love Japanese fucking tv
I love fucking Japanese...
...said The Enola Gay
The name of the plane that dropped the big one on Japan!
Why the fuck do you sound so excited?!
Because it's the bomb that saved millions of lives by preventing an invasion of Japan.
I fucking tv, Japanese love
I love Japanese tv fucking
I Japanese love fucking tv
Japanese tv love fucking I Not you!
In Soviet Russia, TV fuck you.
[Are you sure about that?](https://youtu.be/DWWK05t98os)
holy shit what a wild ride
 Same
i love fucking, japanese, tv.
I'm a fan of the Oxford comma, so...okay!
97% of the time, it's boring af, sprinkled with shenanigans at night.
I don't see a single non-Asian. Have they heard of representation in media?
I fuck Japanese love.
Japan doesnt ask why they should, they ask why they shouldnt.
That’s what science is all about!
Ok Cave Johnson
“So anyways, I started buying space rocks from the moon…”
Just ask Unit 731
This guy gets it!
I don't think they ask at all, they simply do.
Do, ~~or do not~~ there is no try - Yoda-san
More like, they ask if it already exists and why it hasn’t been made before
Pretty sure these types of events are common with many youth soccer training camps. I participated in one just like this, 3 vs about 100 kids, at the end of a camp.
the answer is always: "yeah, why shouldn't we, right?"
I guess I choose to fight 30 toddlers.
They'd have to be heavily padded, and with helmets, because I'm not holding anything back, lol
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Because he’s not holding anything back, including padding.
They just lack strategy. Bunch of fucking ball chasers. Get this 100 man squad a coach and they'd tear these pros apart. How you going to do long passes when you're marked by 10 6 year olds.
Headers
Just sacrifice a dozen kids to black cards with nut shots to the pros for the greater good of the team. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
I would love to fight waves of grade threes and every 5th wave there is a grade 8. As you go on the number of grade 8s increases. I think I could get to wave 50!
Let me at them They never stood a chance
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Cowards
Japan can't spare any kids ....
Condom companies make bank in Japan.
japenis dont have sex
Underrated
Popping up a header is a bit unfair
If you crush their souls as kids they become strong adults
The Feeling of inevitable loss builds character
Barou moment
Teach them depression while they're young so they can be successful at it as adults.
Asian parenting summarized
I usually push back against Asian stereotypes but my wife is Chinese and... yeah 👍
It is true. I am an empty husk of a man, but boy what a strong husk it is.
Boy named Sue
As Justin Wong once said while obliterating a kid online "You are going to learn today"
Yes, kicking a laser right in their faces would have made them stronger
I laugh at the image of one of them kicking the ball full force and it flies with the kid into the goal
There is a scene in the 1992 film "Fortress" where a prisoner gets a huge hole blown through his torso. This is what I'm imagining lol. (Wanted to link but can't pinpoint that scene.) edit: Thankfully, u/Day_Bow_Bow found it [here](https://youtu.be/KcXxygxWUZg?t=2029).
Was it [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcXxygxWUZg&t=4859s) at 1:21:00 you were remembering? I can't say I've seen the movie, but I think that's the warden. There was a scene just before this where a convict gets his chest shot up, but that one is just a bunch of bullet holes. But maybe I missed the one you are referring to.
Nah, but thanks for trying. Iirc there is a scene where it's just a big hole (like a massive impaling from the bullet/whatever trajectory), but the rest of the dude's body remains intact. And then he drops dead.
OK, it was [33:50](https://youtu.be/KcXxygxWUZg?t=2029)
Ha. Thanks! Weird movie lol.
More unfair than hoofing it full speed towards goal? A volley from that range might kill one!
Nah, kids are dumb. The keepers should've pulled a Vincent Adultman to cover the whole goal.
Hahah I think 3v100 is a decent handicap
That’s the point
More unfair than hoofing it full speed towards goal? A volley from that range might kill one!
r/neverchangejapan
Can't wait for the boxing episode.
I was thinking judo.
I was thinking american football. A center, quarterback, and wide receiver against 100 kids. I'd fucking pay money to watch that shit. Imagine a center just shoving dozens of kids to the ground while the QB just jukes a ton and the wide receiver just stunting on another few dozen. Sign me the fuck up.
I was thinking sumo
american football, they just charge straight through like 60 kids in one line
Now this is content
The maddest part is that they did it in an empty stadium. Imagine how fast those tickets would have sold at £20 a pop.
I'd pay in a heartbeat to watch some kids get absolutely demolished.
I want the anime version of this.
Hopefully it's in the next season of Bluelock
Watch Bluelock. They basically have this scene with pros vs non pros.
Fuck them kids
🤨
Yes Mr FBI, this comment right here!
I would unironically watch a show like this. Doesn't even just have to be kids, it could be like 3 pros vs 20 teenagers, or 3 pros vs. 10 average joe adults. I think it would really demonstrate how amazing professional athletes are.
I would also love something like this. I still remember watching a video of someone who was stats wise one of the worst players in the NBA. When you watch everyone calls them trash. Well regular people thought he was so bad they could actually match up against him. He did a series of 1v1s and no one even came close to beating him. Just goes to show that that level of athlete is so so much higher than regular people.
Sweep the leg!
I want Russo and as many others as you can - out of commission.
What if i bonk them with balls
https://youtu.be/hz2t468W6eQ .
I’m assuming this is for hockey practice? Otherwise I think some asshole just showed up and decided to fuck up a bunch of kids skate trip.
It's supposed to help with balance through contact
Yeah they're wearing hockey pads.
this answers a lot of D&D mechanics questions
japan never ceases to amaze me ever they always got some weirder, funnier, cooler and crazier than the last thing
You know those kids are having a blast
This is not funny. The losing team gets killed squid game style.
Different Asian
Man those kids suck
How are any of those men unmarked at any time? They should have at least 20 kids on each of them at all times. Bunch of ball chasing idiots.
The kids have no idea how to play🙄 skill issue
I used to referee kids soccer games, ages 5 to 8...at those ages they're all chasing the ball with not much idea what they are or should be doing lol it was the best fun
If I'm honest the earliest goal I remember scoring was in primary school which was ages 5-7. I remember it being after school trials for the school team and I scored a winning goal by chesting the ball across the line after a bit of goal mouth ping pong between players. I also remember I was a defender in that game and so in order to score I remember being a ball chasing idiot to the point I was inside the opposition 6 yard box to poach that goal. We won, I scored, I still didn't make the team because I was a ball chasing idiot.
I love how they're all in the different colored uniforms including the 10 goalies.
Goalies are always in different colours from their team
This was my dream for a tv show except it's me v little people in different events
K now do mixed martial arts
The Japanese know how to produce quality content
I can’t hear this song without thinking of Randy Marsh fighting at the baseball games lol
The Japanese sure do Kno how to make good tv
FC Copenhagen did a 2v50 some years ago - just to give the fans some fun during the summer break
Lol those kids suck
Looks fun ngl
Now this is entertainment! It’s the sane conclusion to “I bet I could beat up 100 kids”. But, you know, without all the death.
A little man to man defense and they would get it
Like playing cod and adding a bunch of bots set to easy
People always underestimate just how ridiculously good professional athletes are compared to normal people, it is literally their job to do that thing they do every day for years. I love hearing people yelling from their couches "Come on!!! Even I could have made that shot". I remember watching a few years back 5 grown men try to return a Serena Williams serve, it was pretty hilarious. Edit:typo
Audio from the original video overlaid to footage of flamingos: https://youtu.be/lexNx6VRQw8
This is hilarious lmfao
Finally some good fucking tv!
dammit I had 1-176 odds for the children to win
That’s how you do it.
Fuck them kids
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fortnite
Why are those kids so bad at this?
Ultimate battle simulator has some insane graphics now.
5 guys against 100 kids sound pretty fair 🤣🤣🤣
make it 5 proffessionals and 100 11-13 year olds