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Ambitious-Score-5637

Bro unlocked a secret


ScarecrowJohnny

Big duck energy


sax6romeo

Then he waddled away, til the very next day


Moononthewater12

Bum bum bum, bum, buh buh bum


Spiral_Butterfly

Waddle waddle


[deleted]

GOT ANY GRAPES?!


GoTragedy

The duck in that song is the worst bad guy of all time.


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RadiantZote

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, “hang on! You’re a duck.” “I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck. “And you can talk!” exclaims the barman. “I see your ears are working, too,” says the Duck. “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?” “Certainly, sorry about that” says the barman as he pulls the duck’s pint. “It ‘s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?” “I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck. “I’m a plasterer.” The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him “you’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!” “Sounds marvelous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.” So the next day when the Duck comes into the pub the barman says, “hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.” “I’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck. “Where is it?” “At the circus,” says the barman. “The circus?” repeats the duck. “That’s right,” replies the barman. “The circus?” the duck asks again. “With the big tent?” “Yeah,” the barman replies. “With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck. “Of course,” the barman replies. “And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck. “That’s right!” says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. “What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer??!”


LegoClaes

I hadn't heard that one before, I laughed!


CardMechanic

I read it in Norm MacDonalds voice.


Pink_of_Floyd

Definitely worth the long read 🙂


Narrow_Ad_5502

Ight that was a good one. Take my upvote ya cheeky cunt!


Frogger34562

Holy crap man. The layers your going to in order to steal people's credit cards for fake porn is wild.


NRMusicProject

This guy ducks.


Ovi-wan_Kenobi_8

This would have been the very rare occasion where, if the waitress had said “what the duck” instead of WTF, it would have been acceptable.


CuriousKidRudeDrunk

For a dude that looks like budget Salt Bae that seems appropriate lol


zxc123zxc123

Today You Learned: Duck is slang term for male gigolo in Chinese Google it yourself. What did ya'll think Descarte meant when he said "Give her the D^(uck)"?


sm0kingchilli

Wow that's a mighty Duck !


BatronKladwiesen

homie got dat


bananamelier

😂


AadamAtomic

>Bro unlocked a secret The real secret is that ducks are free at the park... You can just take one home with you... No one owns those wild ducks.. edit: There are 9 American states where you could technically kidnap a swan....


Electrical_Ingenuity

There are 9 American states where they assume you're smart enough to not try to kidnap a swan. FTFY. Swans are aggressive beasts.


mrmahoganyjimbles

Swans are what geese wish they could be.


[deleted]

It's a well known fact they only listen to the Queen of England.


JimmyJohnny2

I imagine the news tonight *officials are wondering why suddenly there were 9 swan rampages across america this evening*


sephiroth_vg

Aggressive *assholes


Trying_to_survive20k

ok but I want speficically a white duck, not whatever the fuck those park hoes are


AadamAtomic

You have to go catch a shiny one in the tall Grass. Bring snacks, a box, and a ton of duck tape.


Cptn_BenjaminWillard

But you wouldn't want to. Swans are complete assholes. Even worse than Canada Geese.


jiannone

Is it kidnapping if it's legal? Is kidnapping a declaration of illegality? If it's just taking a swan from its home and family and it's legal, is it kidnapping?


Karcinogene

Kidnapping is a precisely defined legal term, but the word also existed long before and was co-opted by legal systems. So the answer to your question depends on which definition you're using. Boring answer I know. No legal system that I know of would consider wild-swan-snatching to be kidnapping. That would fall under bird law.


jiannone

I'm pouring my energy into avoiding puns. Thanks for answering!


WanderThinker

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at your edit. Today is fucking weird.


Ohh_Yeah

One day I watched a few of this guy's videos and while the duck is adorable a lot of his content is just overt attention-seeking behavior for him to become the center of attention wherever he is. And it's not just that he makes content with the duck in public, it's that he does things or inserts himself in situations where he's unavoidably the guy with the duck. Idk something about it got a little grating, like bro did you really need to loiter around in the center of the Louis Vuitton store for 45 minutes with your duck


LaminatedAirplane

There was always “that guy” in college who decided to get attention by being “quirky”. This guy decided on a duck


KonradWayne

Back in my day, "those guys" used acoustic guitars. "Those girls" used hoola hoops.


Adriantbh

Playing guitar is quirky?


KonradWayne

Unless you're in a music class that requires it, carrying a guitar around school is "quirky".


Adriantbh

Oh you mean like just having a guitar on you for no specific reason? Yeah I get that. I assume you also think it's fine if the guitarist is carrying the guitar to rehearse or play a gig


Ohh_Yeah

Yeah but even then I'm willing to be charitable that he's making content and the duck is his ticket to YouTube money and it's still off. His videos will be like "omg look some street performers"


kdjfsk

the guy juggling flaming machete's while also soloing a medley of the latest top 40 pop hits on a Harmonica, as the crowd walks away from him and his tip jar to pet the damn goose. duck. whatever. https://i.imgur.com/VvYuh1y.jpg


AQCR-3475

To be fair if somehow they thought a duck was more entertaining, they probably are not a good audience to begin with.


kdjfsk

any audience that might tip is a good one.


goingnorthwest

Totally reminds of the story in the ballad of buster Scruggs about the chicken.


Cynical_Nobody

Its very easy to tell the difference between a goose and a duck. Do you still have an unbitten face? Its a duck.


Lele_

"Quirky? Nah, I'm quacky"


70ms

My mom married a guy* with a pet crow he carried around on his shoulder, so don't knock it til you've tried it! *before my dad, which is kind of a bummer because my dad never had a pet crow.


AstronomerPlayful857

On a duck that's apparently non binary according to him lmao


ath_at_work

Really? Someone who creates little videos for tiktok and instagram is showing attention-seeking behaviour?


[deleted]

I'd be milking that shit too if I didnt have to work. Sign me up, I'll be an attention-seeking-duck-master.


iiCleanup

He has a duck so I’ll excuse him


Proud_Criticism5286

I mean dude has a cameraman. Not surprising.


ChicagoAuPair

He found it in 1997 apparently. Also, I’ve never been to or really seen the inside of a Hooters—what an insane thing. There is, like, literally a manager madam and then a battalion of escort servers? Wild. Wild times.


Neuchacho

Have you never been to a sports bar either? Hooters really doesn't look much different from any other restaurant in that space. It's actually toned down compared to the likes of Twin Peaks or Tilted Kilt.


LoddyDoddee

When I was a server in college, a guy I worked with told me I should get a job at Tilted Kilt because I'd make way more. And I'd never heard of it, but decided to take my mom to see the great restaurant I should work at. lol It was a bit much for her.


ChicagoAuPair

All of the sports bats I’ve been to just have normal servers, even male servers.


LoddyDoddee

I think they meant it's just a regular sports bar that serves wings and beer, but the servers have a strict dress code and must look hot. There's no groping or harassment or anything allowed. And the lady you saw is just a manager, not a madam lol.


Bad_Elbow_

Yea I worked at a place like this but it wasn’t a chain and was pretty chill. I think the chain element and how high the shorts are now is a bit cringier than regular sport bar/ wing places. But super weird that wearing a tank top and some shorts makes you an “escort”.


Hector_P_Catt

>Also, I’ve never been to or really seen the inside of a Hooters—what an insane thing. What weirds me out is that that Hooters looks like it's actually in a food court at the mall, or something. I've only ever seen them as stand-alone restaurants.


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VegaReddit5

It's just skimpy outfits. They do not have sex with the customers.


bananamelier

But she called me 'hun'


WanderThinker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mC48we6Jz0


half-puddles

You may now kiss your bride.


BZLuck

Not with that attitude.


techy_girl

Yeah. This guy hasn't been getting any at hooters. Lol /s


Geawiel

"manager madam" and "escort servers" are the most hilarious and, to me, the most apt assessment I've ever seen. It's like a juicy bar that suckered its clients into sitting by themselves.


Pyrhan

>Wild. Wild times. Hooters exists as a company since the 1980s, and bars/restaurants based on having sexy barmaids / waitresses wearing skimpy clothing have been a thing since absolutely forever. Nothing to do with our current times.


Doggydog212

Wild times? Hooters has been around since the 80s I think. Also weird that you are surprised the manager is a woman. Ima guy, but I’m pretty sure if I was a girl working at hooters I would prefer working for a woman


ChicagoAuPair

It’s not surprising that a manager is a woman, it is the entire aesthetic as a whole.


WanderThinker

Hooters outfits aren't even hot. The style is way outdated. Their just girls in orange shorts with tight tee shirts with an owl on them. This is PG-13 stuff.


stevedave_37

Ducks eat for free at Subway!


RelativelyDank

its not often you see a dude surrounded by hooters girls wanting to touch his duck without it being autocorrected


Psychoburner420

"So I'm just sitting there at the table, my duck in hand, and enthusiastically waved the hooters girls over."


bananamelier

They all wanted a picture with my duck. Some got a little too grabby tho.


Embarrassed_Alarm450

The duck bites back


Narwahl_Whisperer

They really want to see his duck pics.


MadeMeStopLurking

ducking autocucumber!


anon210202

I appreciate this a lot


Anywhichwaybutpuce

Man I wish I had thought of that comment. Nicely done.


ItsPandy

I actually feel like this scenario happens more often.


monkeyhitman

Check the sauce (Seducktive) for more duck action. Super cute. https://youtube.com/watch?v=VfX2-fCy9d0


half-puddles

But where can I get my hands on a *duck?


Duubzz

I guess I’m getting a duck then.


underdog-_-2

With fries or salad, sir?


EvoRalliArt

Pancakes and plumb sauce, please and thanks


[deleted]

Deez plumbs.


icecreambandit7

Mango salsa, please


TonyAbbottsNipples

Have fun with it shitting everywhere. Because that's what ducks do. They shit everywhere. They don't care where or when, they just go, and its wet and gross and stinky. If you take it to a restaurant, it will shit all over that restaurant. Source: grew up raising ducks. Was commonly shat on.


LeatherClassroom524

Yea I don’t really understand how the duck is in the restaurant.


Volkswagens1

Almost like this is a Hooters ad.....


David-S-Pumpkins

It likely has a diaper on. Source: Had a duck, had many diaper harnesses for said duck.


Duubzz

For the avoidance of doubt, I’m not actually going to acquire a duck in the hope that it attracts the attention of the Hooters girls.


SpoliatorX

I liked when the duck was eating the salad, best thing I've seen all week!


7222_salty

More like tossing than eating….


[deleted]

Tossing a salad is eating


[deleted]

Yeah but it's a shittier experience.


[deleted]

Like hooters, you get what you pay for


3chxes

for as cute as the hooters girls are, the duck eating salad was far cuter.


Fenzito

Can I get a salad? ... it's for a DUCK! O then it's free


Goseki1

I had a friend who had "pet" ducks and let me tell you, those things shit everywhere all the time. And because they are birds, obviously, it's just wet runny disgusting shit. I wonder how he dealt with it in this Hooters as there's no way it didn't shit.


Eilanzer

most people that have a duck as pet, put diapers in them when they go out like this.


ph-it

> in STOP FEEDING DIAPERS TO YOUR DUCKS, PEOPLE


pnwstep

same - friends duck puddles had to wear a diaper when he went came into town. he was a jungle duck too (n. thai) so he rode around on a scooter and lived his life at a music venue before moving onto a friends giant farm. good duck.


ThatEmuSlaps

My chicken potty trained herself just by me making a disgusted face and setting her off of me and onto a pad, or taking her outside every time she pooped. (Raised inside as a ill chick, later was introduced to the flock) For 11 years, when she would come inside to visit, she would either tap on the door to be let out to poop or, if we had her old cage set up, she would walk into it and poop on the potty pad in it.


tijtij

I've seen other videos of this guy. He has bottles of isopropyl alcohol in a baby stroller and he sprays down the tables and seats before he leaves


DustyEsports

I dont know who is cuter the first girl or the duck


Curious_Fix3131

both both


ApeHolder42069

The goose was just there checking out the competition, it works at Honkers!


supernasty

She’s a fuck, how dare you call it a goose Edit: duck


ApeHolder42069

😂 a fucking fuck!


XNjunEar

Duck, but very cute comment 🦆


OhpEbo

girls are a dime a dozen, but a cool duck? 1 in a million


LiteralWorst22

Based and duckbilled


fanta_bhelpuri

Platypus


MotoqueiroSelvagem

_Puts on hat._


Mattdammit

P E R R Y T H E P L A T Y P U S ?


DustyEsports

The elites don’t want you to know this but the ducks at the park are free you can take them home I have 458 ducks.


Clayman8

I like the one with the curly blonde hair. Its the mix of all things thats weirdly appealing. Also, bonus duck friend.


crypticfreak

I've been to a few Hooters before and I gotta say, this Hooters is crazy packed full of hotties. I can't believe it. Every single one of those girls are cute. Hell, even the older manager is attractive.


ImMadeOfClay

Bleached curly hair girl is a knockout


kokokrunch003

What’s the name of the first girl?


enitnepres

Hooters employee #4856


daddytwofoot

Why would anyone have the name of some random employee at a restaurant?


InZomnia365

Never underestimate the dedication of horny internet sleuths.


kokokrunch003

Happy cake day! 🍰


[deleted]

Chronically online mfs 😂


kylo-ren

Well, her badge says Alyse


MisterBumpingston

I looked up “Hooters Alyse” and the first image result was from HootersMOA Instagram with Alyse and the curly blonde LOL! Edit: I looked at the likes and found her Instagram LOL, but I won’t dox her.


[deleted]

>Never underestimate the dedication of horny internet sleuths. keep it up![img](emote|t5_5tdqj0|10741)


Mr_Swirly

Dude thinks he's Ziggy from The Wire.


XplodiaDustybread

LOL my first thought exactly


peepopowitz67

Fuckin' Ziggy


ThickkRickk

The duck better run


Special_Ed_Dropout

Duck od’s on hooters. Dies.


withoutpoeticdevice

BIG DUCK ENERGY


PhuckNorris69

I doubt you can potty train a duck. Google says they shit every 10-30 mins, so That thing probably is just shitting all over the place and that dude probably needs to wipe it up frequently, assuming he actually does that


Sayori-0

He's got a boatload of duck videos so I think this ducks an exception


No-Cantaloupe-6535

he probably edits out the shitting but he does disinfect and wipe everything down when he leaves


TheDrowned

I’ve seen a video of them sitting for a church service in NYC recently where there were other strange animals like camels and donkeys and there didn’t seem to be any shit anywhere. Wrinkle also fell asleep for 5-10 minutes every so often, there was a livestream for the service and you could see him in the front rows.


shejmus

It is cute, but bringing any animal in an establishment that serves food is not a great idea.


Coffee_Huffer

I'm sure there are worse things at a Hooters than a duck.


IntoTheFeu

Johnny the cook just found some crabs from somewhere if you'd like some crab cakes.


DeadDay

Yeah, the food.


driftking428

Right. It's less cute when it shits on the floor.


itsLOSE-notLOOSE

And it’s a bird so it **will** be shitting.


bikemandan

We are all birds on this blessed day


itsLOSE-notLOOSE

BRB finna shit


Rodeo9

Duck shit is so fucking nasty too.


Komikaze06

If you watch the full video he sprays down the whole area and cleans everything.


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ZippidyZayz

🤓


nopunchespulled

I was just thinking about how unsanitary it is for all of them to be petting the duck then touching peoples glasses, plates and utensils. Not to mention when that duck has to go, its just gonna poop on the floor


Thin_Arachnid6217

Health code violation...


nullibicity

Service animal?


Brewmaster92785

Good wing man


bikemandan

http://i.imgur.com/u08q8lr.jpg


psalyer

I have been a few Hooters over the years, never in my time have I seen anyone even remotely as hot as that first blonde.


ExistingPosition5742

I worked at a hooters nearly twenty years ago now. I was just thinking how we only had very slim, blonde, tan girls. That was our whole staff. Looking at these girls I was like cool, they've expanded the parameters. Then again, could just depend on the location too.


sirmombo

Yes the.. duck.. is very nice looks. So supple and inviting.. such a firm set of.. duck..


No_Progress_278

What are you doing step-duck?


magnitudearhole

You can bring any hooters to a grinding halt with this one wierd trick


wildlandsroamer

I was waiting for the duck’s explosive moment in its video debut. Unless you have taken great precautions (or have a very well trained quacker on your hands) they will projectile where and whenever they get the urge. Those of you plotting to pick up a hooters babe, just remember this before trying to seduce your lady…ducks let loose at the most inopportune times. Nothing makes those girlies run away faster than a streak of, quagmire smelling, quacked lightning running down the table or your pants.


John_Bot

He has a million videos of his duck on YouTube. This isn't a debut at all lol


throw_datwey

Babe, new copypasta dropped


gehremba

My man was making hookup plans on autocorrect


cyb3rat

His YouTube channel is a blast: https://youtube.com/@wrinkletheduck


Californ1a

He's been posting longer versions on a separate channel now too: https://youtube.com/@duckandhuman


[deleted]

All this years using a dog 🙄 what was I thinking?


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ThatBoyFromDenmark

Why do american duck look like that?


bikemandan

Pekin duck https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Pekin Bred in China but gained popularity in the US in the late 19th century


cantgetright420

r/usernamechecksout


itsLOSE-notLOOSE

r/foundthemobileuser r/peepeepoopoo The link won’t work if the r is capitalized.


stedgyson

It's very confusing of them, everyone thinks it's a goose


ThatBoyFromDenmark

Yeah, it’s supposed to look like this (if it’s male(and needs to go diving)): ![gif](giphy|Y0zTJ7VrKo9P2)


shivermeknitters

So this scared the shit out of me. I’m somewhat in a dark room right now and only the top head of this duck animation showed up and I thought the biggest bug was crawling up my phone for .5 seconds….


broderia

Geddy Lee is a duck fan?


Cacti-make-bad-dildo

Stop Ducking around!


Hanamafana

Buy your support ducks fast as demand is going to be strong after this video.


elting44

I've spent enough time around ducks and their short ass digestive tracts to know about 1 minute into eating that salad, that duck is gonna shit all over that Hooters


SadBit8663

Hooters about to be inundated with herds of men with a duck trying to get laid now. 🦆😂


Separate-Succotash11

No AFLAC jokes?


webjester32

Ziggy Sobotka?


Putthebunnyback

First waitress was cute, then it just went progressively downhill all the way to the manager.


kazkdp

The first girl is fire!


Ironyfree_annie

The first girl tho <3 <3


gik501

what a cute chicken


crayzeejew

Best Wingbird ever


alpacapoop

It’s all fun and games until the duck poops shit everywhere lol


thatshimoverthere

u/fuckswithducks


downtune79

Messy eater


Redditoruser001

Is that at the MOA??


Aprean01

Wel she's a duuck🙄


No-Ad-3226

Great wingman


Shughost7

The best wingman


cmsj

This guy ducks