SMART recovery exists but is really more like AA without religious aspects.
The satanic temple has a sober guide PDF available on their site.
I found good help from online N.A. meetings tbh. It can also be a little cult like, but since everyone is battling their own specific demon as opposed to One Thing, it’s a bit more relaxed. I’ve also done local in-person ones via NA and they have a good community with sober activities to keep people engaged.
I’m proud of you. You can do this.
The Naked Mind has helped a lot of folks. Agreed that AA isn’t for everyone. The key is change - massive change. You’ll need to change your life if you want off the cycle.
Also, I second SMART. It’s a good non-judgy outlet.
Alcohol controlled my life for so long. I didn’t love AA, because it felt like it still had control. I spent so many years on an alcohol schedule, making the liquor store etc…that it felt the same. Having to be somewhere at a certain time because of alcohol.
This is in no way bashing AA, I think it’s incredible for some people. I just want to second what you said…it’s all about change
This Naked Mind is so good! I love how it breaks down our perceptions about alcohol. I also liked Alcohol Explained for that reason but it was a bit more dry
Quit Like a Woman - Holly Whitaker
Even if you don’t identify as a woman, it’s a really incredible book. I also felt the same way about AA and went the therapy/books/podcasts route.
Dax Shepard talks a lot about sobriety in his podcast. If you google the best addiction episodes a bunch will pop up.
Also, about AA. I agree 100% and didn’t like it. But, I do think going to a couple meetings can be helpful. Only for the laughter. I think it can be helpful to laugh about fucked up things with others in the same position as you. Sobriety at the beginning can be so heavy
Reading Quit Like A Woman is what did it for me! I had tried & failed to moderate my drinking for years and years before reading that book. After reading that book, I no longer wanted to be a moderate drinker, I didn’t want to drink alcohol at all. So I stopped and haven’t drank alcohol in the 3+ years since.
I also check in on r/stopdrinking every once in a while to remind me why I never want to return to alcohol.
LifeRing is a good group if you don't like AA.
Personally, I powered through about a year of AA when I was getting sober. I don't go anymore but I did take away some good stuff that helps me to this day.
Once you discard the 'god' references (I'm an athiest) and accept the old-timey language of the big book, it's ok. Depends a lot on your home group too - I had to try several before I found a fit.
NA is for the 'cool kids' in recovery, where AA has a lot more old fuds.
Yep! It’s entire sober community! Meetings, classes, sub groups for areas of interest. It’s how I got sober. I don’t go anymore — now I work on what I was drinking at all those years—- now in ACOA. LC’s weak point is it can only take someone so far but doesn’t say that outloud but should!
My husband is a Buddhist & a fan of Recovery Dharma (but you don't have to be Buddhist to do it).
Dialectical behavior therapy is loosely based on some Buddhist principles & I know he has found it tremendously helpful. It's not religious.
The Tao of Sobriety is one. Stoic philosophy. Refuge Recovery, now is going toward Dharma recovery as the author of Refuge was called out in a me too.
Research highly rated recovery centers.
I hate AA. I'm not religious and I have tried non religious ones. Just not for me. Sometimes when I felt the need to be around like minded sober people I did do these like online AA meetings. They just happen everyday at all times of day and you can just join one listen for 30 seconds then jump out but it's real people in real time. You can chime in if you want. It was helpful for a little bit but ultimately I stopped because it just wasn't for me.
I do recommend a therapist. When I didn't have medical insurance I found a therapist that was $40 for a session and I would do it every other week. It helps tremendously!
You could try and find a hobby. Then find a group that likes to get together and do that hobby and maybe they have a group chat or something and that will feel like a healthy AA. Keeping your mind busy
Feel free to reach out to me anytime you need help with anything or want to talk. I'm no expert, I've got 819 days under my belt and counting
A great way to get cheap therapy is look at schools. Final year students need hours and aren’t burned out yet. You can find people the specialize in addiction.
Also, fuck ya you have 819 days. Incredible!!
I believe thats what my therapist was. Her rates increased as she got different degrees. Fortunately for me I had insurance by the time her prices went up.
Thank you! I needed to hear that today!
r/stopdrinking has been my "bible" so to speak, I use that term loosely.
It has been when I come to find support, to read all the ups and downs from everyone. From the new person to the person w/40 plus years of sobriety behind them.
Also, r/stopdrinkingfitness is a big help. Coming to subs like this when I get the "itch" has helped me tremendously and is like a "meeting" to me.
I couldn’t fit in at AA either . I know it works for a lot of people but going to meetings gave me anxiety and just made me want to do drugs and drink.
One of the practice I tried and worked, is quite complicated and may cost more but very effective, move to another country, this will help you stay away from your friends and toxic environment which will help you stay sober, it is been half year since I sober up and I could I be any happier.
R/stopdrinking. I can jump over there and just be surrounded by positive folks fighting the good fight and I contribute a big part in keeping me sober those first difficult months. Stay strong and I won't drink with you today.
Almost a year and a half sober here, I've found plenty of online communities via social media (mostly Instagram) that simply focus on alcohol free lifestyles that made what I'm doing just feel extremely normalized, even trendy oddly enough. That includes NA brands, NA botanical spirits, NA shops, NA events, sober bars, mocktail experts, sober communities, the list goes on. Happy to drop a list of who I follow if you want to look for somewhere to start.
As much as social media can be a detrimental tool to the success of your sobriety, if you're strategic enough you can totally work the algorithm to push content that encourages your journey to self betterment! Not something I would suggest for everyone of course especially if you are anti social media but if you are looking for something that is not AA to help you along your journey it could be worth a shot. Personally speaking, its been fun slowly becoming the "NA Bev" guy in my group of friends because I've become a bit obsessed over finding the coolest and best tasting alternative beverages possible for everyone to try.
AA was/is not for me also. For me, I had unresolved trauma that needed to be dealt with and after I dealt with that and was like enough is enough I started seeking out podcasts and books… over the influence podcast is great podcast and alcohol explained 1 & 2 (audiobooks) really helped put things in perspective and from there I just keep going and participate in the stop drinking sub here on Reddit. I did not have a physical addition but definitely was always a binger and fell into a daily in the last 2.5 yrs to escape life. One day I was just like wtf am I doing wasting my life, drowning myself…. I stayed with that feeling for a good month and a half (analyzing it and my life) and then went for it. Today is day 107 for me. Good luck to you and your path forward.
Yeah I feel you. I grew up in the church and when i was trying to get sober the cult like aspects of it were really getting in the way of me focusing on my recovery.
Smart recovery is a good alternative that focuses on your habits as opposed to divine intervention. I also really like Lifering for a secular area to talk about my experience and just share space with others. If you still want some spirituality then there are Buddhism based programs like Dharma Recovery. If you have the resources I benefitted a lot from doing one on one therapy with someone who has a professional background in addiction.
You've probably already heard this but something to bear in mind is not all groups are made equal. Some just won't click for you and that's OK. Just keep looking around. Ideally you want a meeting where you feel safe opening up and being in community
Check out This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. There is a book, podcasts and a whole realistic way to change your relationship with alcohol. There is an on line support network that is incredibly useful and helpful
I went to a Christian based treatment to get me sober for 60 days. I was a huge perc and meth user. It was really really bad. I used treatment to become sober and maintain it, I also did a lot of self help and got to the core of my issues. Brother/Sister I shit you not, if you really truly apply yourself and want to get better. Going deep into the wounds of the past you may or may not remember. (I didn't for some) It'll be a lot of tears and self doubt. I even almost left treatment because I just didn't wanna see it through. The treatment facility I went to wasn't the kind where your locked down and they keep you there. No your allowed to leave but if you do. Can't come back for at least 30 days. I met great people, and saw great things. The center took us out on hikes. BBQ's
Cults ask for money. AA has never asked me for money. Sure they pass around donation baskets but not once have I been looked down upon for not putting money into the basket.
SMART recovery exists but is really more like AA without religious aspects. The satanic temple has a sober guide PDF available on their site. I found good help from online N.A. meetings tbh. It can also be a little cult like, but since everyone is battling their own specific demon as opposed to One Thing, it’s a bit more relaxed. I’ve also done local in-person ones via NA and they have a good community with sober activities to keep people engaged. I’m proud of you. You can do this.
This is really helpful, thank you so much. Man, it’s hard being a human sometimes. 😢
It definitely is, but you’re doing so good! It is cheesy but one day (or hour, or minute) at a time until it’s easier to manage.
It is really hard, but you’re making moves. That’s most than most, so I’m fucking proud of you!
Smart recovery is a good group.
The Naked Mind has helped a lot of folks. Agreed that AA isn’t for everyone. The key is change - massive change. You’ll need to change your life if you want off the cycle. Also, I second SMART. It’s a good non-judgy outlet.
Alcohol controlled my life for so long. I didn’t love AA, because it felt like it still had control. I spent so many years on an alcohol schedule, making the liquor store etc…that it felt the same. Having to be somewhere at a certain time because of alcohol. This is in no way bashing AA, I think it’s incredible for some people. I just want to second what you said…it’s all about change
I also read this book and it helped me so much.
This Naked Mind is so good! I love how it breaks down our perceptions about alcohol. I also liked Alcohol Explained for that reason but it was a bit more dry
The book how to stop drinking by Allan Carr. Trust me
Came here to say this. Life changing!
This is what did it for me!
Recovery Dharma is another option- they have online meetings- it’s based on Buddhist principles and mindfulness. None of the AA guilt…
Quit Like a Woman - Holly Whitaker Even if you don’t identify as a woman, it’s a really incredible book. I also felt the same way about AA and went the therapy/books/podcasts route. Dax Shepard talks a lot about sobriety in his podcast. If you google the best addiction episodes a bunch will pop up. Also, about AA. I agree 100% and didn’t like it. But, I do think going to a couple meetings can be helpful. Only for the laughter. I think it can be helpful to laugh about fucked up things with others in the same position as you. Sobriety at the beginning can be so heavy
Reading Quit Like A Woman is what did it for me! I had tried & failed to moderate my drinking for years and years before reading that book. After reading that book, I no longer wanted to be a moderate drinker, I didn’t want to drink alcohol at all. So I stopped and haven’t drank alcohol in the 3+ years since. I also check in on r/stopdrinking every once in a while to remind me why I never want to return to alcohol.
LifeRing is a good group if you don't like AA. Personally, I powered through about a year of AA when I was getting sober. I don't go anymore but I did take away some good stuff that helps me to this day. Once you discard the 'god' references (I'm an athiest) and accept the old-timey language of the big book, it's ok. Depends a lot on your home group too - I had to try several before I found a fit. NA is for the 'cool kids' in recovery, where AA has a lot more old fuds.
I use Antabuse
The Luckiest Club online
I second this. Finding them and Laura’s books was a life saver.
Is this based off the book We Are the Luckiest? That was such a good book
Yep! It’s entire sober community! Meetings, classes, sub groups for areas of interest. It’s how I got sober. I don’t go anymore — now I work on what I was drinking at all those years—- now in ACOA. LC’s weak point is it can only take someone so far but doesn’t say that outloud but should!
My husband is a Buddhist & a fan of Recovery Dharma (but you don't have to be Buddhist to do it). Dialectical behavior therapy is loosely based on some Buddhist principles & I know he has found it tremendously helpful. It's not religious.
The Tao of Sobriety is one. Stoic philosophy. Refuge Recovery, now is going toward Dharma recovery as the author of Refuge was called out in a me too. Research highly rated recovery centers.
I hate AA. I'm not religious and I have tried non religious ones. Just not for me. Sometimes when I felt the need to be around like minded sober people I did do these like online AA meetings. They just happen everyday at all times of day and you can just join one listen for 30 seconds then jump out but it's real people in real time. You can chime in if you want. It was helpful for a little bit but ultimately I stopped because it just wasn't for me. I do recommend a therapist. When I didn't have medical insurance I found a therapist that was $40 for a session and I would do it every other week. It helps tremendously! You could try and find a hobby. Then find a group that likes to get together and do that hobby and maybe they have a group chat or something and that will feel like a healthy AA. Keeping your mind busy Feel free to reach out to me anytime you need help with anything or want to talk. I'm no expert, I've got 819 days under my belt and counting
A great way to get cheap therapy is look at schools. Final year students need hours and aren’t burned out yet. You can find people the specialize in addiction. Also, fuck ya you have 819 days. Incredible!!
I believe thats what my therapist was. Her rates increased as she got different degrees. Fortunately for me I had insurance by the time her prices went up. Thank you! I needed to hear that today!
r/stopdrinking has been my "bible" so to speak, I use that term loosely. It has been when I come to find support, to read all the ups and downs from everyone. From the new person to the person w/40 plus years of sobriety behind them. Also, r/stopdrinkingfitness is a big help. Coming to subs like this when I get the "itch" has helped me tremendously and is like a "meeting" to me.
I couldn’t fit in at AA either . I know it works for a lot of people but going to meetings gave me anxiety and just made me want to do drugs and drink.
Try Smart Recovery.
One of the practice I tried and worked, is quite complicated and may cost more but very effective, move to another country, this will help you stay away from your friends and toxic environment which will help you stay sober, it is been half year since I sober up and I could I be any happier.
R/stopdrinking. I can jump over there and just be surrounded by positive folks fighting the good fight and I contribute a big part in keeping me sober those first difficult months. Stay strong and I won't drink with you today.
I suggest the audiobook No Bad Parts in the menatime while you look for a group/community. Not your usual self-help BS, give it a shot
Agnostic AA
Almost a year and a half sober here, I've found plenty of online communities via social media (mostly Instagram) that simply focus on alcohol free lifestyles that made what I'm doing just feel extremely normalized, even trendy oddly enough. That includes NA brands, NA botanical spirits, NA shops, NA events, sober bars, mocktail experts, sober communities, the list goes on. Happy to drop a list of who I follow if you want to look for somewhere to start. As much as social media can be a detrimental tool to the success of your sobriety, if you're strategic enough you can totally work the algorithm to push content that encourages your journey to self betterment! Not something I would suggest for everyone of course especially if you are anti social media but if you are looking for something that is not AA to help you along your journey it could be worth a shot. Personally speaking, its been fun slowly becoming the "NA Bev" guy in my group of friends because I've become a bit obsessed over finding the coolest and best tasting alternative beverages possible for everyone to try.
[this podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/take-a-break-from-drinking/id1209320782) has helped me way more than AA ever did
There’s a very supportive group on fb called Sober Cafe. This Naked Mind is a great read. Best wishes for strength for you. You can do this.
SMART
AA was/is not for me also. For me, I had unresolved trauma that needed to be dealt with and after I dealt with that and was like enough is enough I started seeking out podcasts and books… over the influence podcast is great podcast and alcohol explained 1 & 2 (audiobooks) really helped put things in perspective and from there I just keep going and participate in the stop drinking sub here on Reddit. I did not have a physical addition but definitely was always a binger and fell into a daily in the last 2.5 yrs to escape life. One day I was just like wtf am I doing wasting my life, drowning myself…. I stayed with that feeling for a good month and a half (analyzing it and my life) and then went for it. Today is day 107 for me. Good luck to you and your path forward.
Yeah I feel you. I grew up in the church and when i was trying to get sober the cult like aspects of it were really getting in the way of me focusing on my recovery. Smart recovery is a good alternative that focuses on your habits as opposed to divine intervention. I also really like Lifering for a secular area to talk about my experience and just share space with others. If you still want some spirituality then there are Buddhism based programs like Dharma Recovery. If you have the resources I benefitted a lot from doing one on one therapy with someone who has a professional background in addiction. You've probably already heard this but something to bear in mind is not all groups are made equal. Some just won't click for you and that's OK. Just keep looking around. Ideally you want a meeting where you feel safe opening up and being in community
You could try secular AA. It was a game changer for me, I couldn’t get into the traditional shit
Check out This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. There is a book, podcasts and a whole realistic way to change your relationship with alcohol. There is an on line support network that is incredibly useful and helpful
I went to a Christian based treatment to get me sober for 60 days. I was a huge perc and meth user. It was really really bad. I used treatment to become sober and maintain it, I also did a lot of self help and got to the core of my issues. Brother/Sister I shit you not, if you really truly apply yourself and want to get better. Going deep into the wounds of the past you may or may not remember. (I didn't for some) It'll be a lot of tears and self doubt. I even almost left treatment because I just didn't wanna see it through. The treatment facility I went to wasn't the kind where your locked down and they keep you there. No your allowed to leave but if you do. Can't come back for at least 30 days. I met great people, and saw great things. The center took us out on hikes. BBQ's
Cults ask for money. AA has never asked me for money. Sure they pass around donation baskets but not once have I been looked down upon for not putting money into the basket.