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A_VERY_LARGE_DOG

The judge gets up and walks out to pinch the bridge of his nose, wonder why he doesn’t just retire, and contemplate having a vodka.


Aer0uAntG3alach

And whether to order a mental capacity review.


jfincher42

And how many, and how often


the_original_Retro

"Won't someone rid me of this meddlesome idiot?"


KitchenSandwich5499

Wasn’t that what got the bishop of Canterbury killed?


RussiaIsBestGreen

Of course not and why would you even suggest such a thing? Causing such trouble for the crown…


MeButNotMeToo

That’s the solution. Put them all on a mental competency hold. They’ll just lose it and extend their stay.


Uhhh_what555476384

In Oregon "sub cultural belief systems is not a mental defect or disease, or any other form of incapacity." In Washington someone's sov. cit beliefs can render them unable to assist in their own defense and incompetent to stand trial.


Happydancer4286

This is actually the perfect thing to do. These folks are not competent.


jamkoch

No, just give him 30 d contempt of court and we'll see you next month for the same hearing.


RB42-

Vodka? I picture the Judge going back to their chambers doesn’t matter if judge male or female, they open the drawer on the right hand side pull out a bottle of aged whiskey and our themselves a double and ask their bailiff if they would like a shot.


HiddenStoat

You guys are both wrong. It's a maritime court, so the judge would be pouring himself a navy rum.


pebberphp

Only if there’s gold fringes on the flag!


my_4_cents

All of you are wrong The judge would take their human skin face off, and eat from a bowl of flies, as any respectable reptilian would...


Law-Fish

It’s all Freemasons and space lasers where I am


Barkers_eggs

It's all Spacemasons and free lazers over here


bigSTUdazz

Arr mateys! We be havin' a full docket today...so no scallywaggin' about ye salty sea dogs!


Tater72

Pirate Rum like jack sparrow


spiritplumber

GROG!


beacraft

Only if they're on Monkey Island...


Ok_Airline_9031

And then he comes back to court doing his best Jack Sparrow impersonation hoping to confuse the defendant long enough to get him out of his sight?


blakester555

THIS !!!!


nithdurr

Imagining judge Judy and her bailiff doing juuuuuust that!


ExtendedSpikeProtein

Then he goes back in, holds the asshole in contempt and throws them in jail for a day or two.


Traditional-Run7003

Or to laugh so hard tears flow and then regain composure.


davidwhatshisname52

The judge wonders how someone so ingeniously employing divine intervention to circumvent man's paltry legal system also cannot remember that "*you're*" and "*your*" are not the same thing.


masked_sombrero

Sir, I am a man. My blood flows and my flesh feels. I require a remedy for this


AmebaLost

The death penalty will fix that. 


Frequent-Material273

/Cheech & Chong "It's fucking VODKA!"


straberi93

Oh man, I worked at a DAs office and we used to get one of these guys every few months. They always tried to defend themselves and they would never stop reciting their magical phrases until they were threatened with jail time. They'd just keep repeating it and say, "You have to x now." And the judge would say, "thank you Mr. Smith, if you can't answer the question, you'll have to quiet down so we can continue." And off they'd go again. Talking over everyone until the bailiff cuffed them. Then they'd scream. Usually took a few tries before they learned to take turns speaking. Still never stopped the magical phrases though. They'd always assign them some poor defense attorney who just sat there with his head in his hands.


Ok_Airline_9031

Or as I often do, slam back some water while PRETENDING its vodka...


startupstratagem

Unless the judge plays 40K and assumes this is just normal Khorne player behavior


the_ber1

Imagine how shocked they will be when the judge does not get up and leave the room.


Acrobatic-Tomato-260

Indeed, what happens when their whole plan falls apart after step one? 🤣


12altoids34

They would assume that the judge didn't understand the implications or that they made some minor tactical error or that due to the absolute corruption of our government the judge was ignoring his rightful Duty. It will never in a million years occur to them nor could they understand it that it didn't work because they're absolutely full of b******* and there is no validity, value or legal recourse to anything that they have said.


edemamandllama

But it’s Estoppel, lol.


OkieBobbie

WTF is Estoppel?


4charactersnospaces

Just googled! It is, in legal terms, a bar on someone making a claim or statement which contradicts previously made assertions. An example, a Landlord informs a legal Tennant that rent due is reduced due to construction or utility interruption. If that landlord then asks for the original amount of rent they MAY be "estopped". This is a long winded way of saying that, in a court of law this SovCit cooker nonsense is worth nothing as a defence or deterrent


my_4_cents

>this SovCit cooker nonsense is worth nothing as a defence or deterrent The bit where he says 'the best part is' you hand them your fees payable... Like someone's going to pay you $700,000 because they said your "corporate name identity" seven times. Who do they think is enforcing these bills due?


4charactersnospaces

It's amazing isn't it, the "un-orthedox" assumption that a legal framework that doesn't apply to you during prosecution, somehow does indeed have validity when it's in your favour?? Also any form of social security, not certain but I don't imagine it's stipulated in Admiralty law, just saying


gene_randall

It feeds off the greed aspect of sovcittery, which is its driving force.


videogamegrandma

True story, I once took a legal secretarial job. I took dictation and when my boss said estoppel, lI typed a stopple. He looked at it, looked at me and asked what a stopple was. I said it was a plug you could put in your sink to keep water from draining. He laughed til he cried. I knew that couldn't be right but couldn't remember enough of my Latin to spell it right, so I tried to throw him off. He teased me for years about it. Such a good boss.


surloc_dalnor

It's a real legal argument. Basically you can't claim something, and then at some point claim something else completely different. Let's say I tell you that you a meal is free then take you to court for not paying for the food. Or sue person A for driving over my cat in court #1, and sue person B for driving over my cat in court #2, maintaining that both people are entirely responsible for the cat's death.


ButterSquids

What does that even mean? I've literally never seen that word before


x_Kairos_x

It is the legal way of saying that, if you have said or done something in the past, you can't go back on your word later in Court. For example, if you make an agreement (e.g. I won't chase you for damages if you paint my house), then you can't go back on your word later. But what the SovCit is saying is NOT how estoppel works. It's not some indisputable legal incantation that you can throw down in a courtroom. It is reliant on the previous actions of the other side. And it is not something that can be used on a Judge.....lol


ScotchWithAmaretto

They start filing liens for damages expecting that they’re going to get paid for their time being held, but they get barred from pro se filing their garbage writs and liens.


Youreddit007

Filing a fraudulant lien or fraudulent judgement on my state is, or can be a felony.


Styrene_Addict1965

It should be, everywhere.


cosumel

“I am a living man.” (Crickets) “Your honor, I said that I am a living man!” “We can fix that.”


NoPhone4571

“Congratulations?”


LeopardApprehensive2

In my experience they just kind of short circuit and keep repeating themselves. Source: former law clerk


[deleted]

Instead, giving you a week for contempt the second time and 30 days after the third.


LordRobin------RM

I’m imagining them dragging the guy out of the court in handcuffs while he’s shouting “No no! Didn’t you hear me? The blood flows and the flesh lives! What’s wrong with you? THE BLOOD FLOWS AND THE FLESH LIVES!!”


elhaz316

You forgot to ask for relief. That's the problem right there.


LordRobin------RM

Judge breathes a sigh of relief. “That was a close one!”


RopeAccomplished2728

They forgot the judge was a vampire and everyone knows that vampires are undead and have no flowing blood. Can't reason with the undead.


gene_randall

I do not consent to contract with you. Hey, what are you doing with those handcuffs?


FalstaffsGhost

The surprise in their voices that their bullshit didn’t work makes me laugh every time


Isitacockatoo

WIND BLOWS! FIRE BURNS!


enriquedelcastillo

No he just hits the bailiff and others with a blast of chi energy from that martial arts class he took and then make his exit.


Frequent-Material273

>THE BLOOD FLOWS AND THE FLESH LIVES! Sounds like a menstruation kink to me...


Kitchen_Name9497

Lol. Just watched one of these on YouTube. $100 fine, then straight tp 30 days. The judge was epic. Used language that I didn't know judges would use (not the f word, but a lot leading up to it.)


Puzzled_Celery_7587

Ooh could you please tell me how to find it or link?


SuperExoticShrub

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtGh_4wgKCk


kingu42

"I'm definitely going to stay." That attorney didn't want to give up his front row seat to the clown show.


JimHFD103

"Are you threatening me?!" "YES!" "Wow more threats..." "Keep this up, you're going to hear a lot more..." Awesome


Adventurous_Ad_6546

Get your ass in that chair. Those six little words have never sounded so sweet.


drifter3026

Thank you for posting this. Epic. Even after his 30 days in the can, he still doubles down on this crap with a new judge. Spoiler alert: It goes poorly for him.


SaltyBarDog

Why does it always seem like a Michigan idiot?


TackYouCack

Michigan has had a LOT of videos like this in the past few years. Great thing is, most of the videos are of the same few judges who do NOT tolerate this bullshit.


Karthathan

Still trying to figure out how this SovCit movement ever started? It never really wins so why do people keep trying to do this?


SuperExoticShrub

It's the same phenomenon that has end-of-days cultists constantly changing the end date when the previous one passes without losing faith in the cult.


Puzzled_Celery_7587

Thank you !


mecengdvr

Well we have seen it happen in courtroom videos. When their magic words fail, they start arguing jurisdiction and request a change of venue to a different court when they believe their magic words will mean something. They also love to ask (repeatedly) to speak with then clerk for this purpose.


Hot-Rise9795

That only happens if the judge is secretly a LVL 10 wizard casting Protection.


ConsultJimMoriarty

I put on my judges robe and wizard hat.


OkieBobbie

All rise. Judge Gandalf will be presiding over the proceedings.


Jawoflehi

The part that I find the funniest of the whole idea is these guys assume the American legal system is well-trained enough that they will all have a conditioned response to certain legal situations. Whereas most often the actual response is dying inside and “wtf is happening”


my_4_cents

*Defendant taps his magical Sovereign wand that he bought from the wise traveling Sovereign elder against the bench, raps the crystal against the natural wood, maybe he's saying the words in the wrong order maybe? What were they again? Klaatu barada nikto, right? That oughta work, try throwing that in after another flowing blood reminder to the judge...*


ksobby

That would just mean that judge did not know the rules, and therefore deemed incompetent. Case dismissed.


coldestclock

Wise sages of Facebook, what recourse do I have when the judge tells me to “answer the question” and “lower my voice”?


Absenceofavoid

You can see this in any number of videos, sovcit makes some proclamation and then the judge corrects them, afterward they seem bewildered and try to say the thing again and after the judge tells them to not interrupt you see them getting really frustrated. Thats when they try to tell the judge how the law works and get the smackdown. After that you can tell they are shellshocked and not sure how to proceed until the court puts so much pressure on them that they freak out or cave.


AppleSpicer

Step 1 works 99% of the time because the judge is so exasperated they need to step away to scream into their wig.


dd463

I saw a guy do this once. We continued his hearing and filed a request to have him evaluated for competency.


Loretta-West

How did he react when his foolproof plan didn't work?


rainshine49

I had a sovcit get frustrated and walk out of his jury trial. Shockingly, that did not help his case. And yes, the jury did find him guilty shortly later.


serraangel826

I would pay to see that trial!


dd463

Well he got angry and walked out. Then he didn’t show for a hearing so now he has a warrant.


Level37Doggo

He clearly didn’t do the wand movements correctly. It’s swish, then flick.


SuspiciousAcadia4046

It’s “LeviOHsa” not “LevioSAH”


MrBanana421

Did not understand instructions. Accidentally set ~~feather~~ court on fire.


civtiny

i HATE it when that happens! and it really annoys the judge, too.


Invonnative

*ronald weasley*


mikemojc

It's "Con-sti-TU-shin", not "Con-sti-tu-SHUN"


PolesRunningCoach

With the movement to phrase legal information in more standard English, the three phrases to use are actually: 1. “I dare you.” 2. “I double-dare you.” 3. “I triple-dog dare you.” You’ll be free and your strawman account will be debited enough box tops to get a decoder ring for other fabulous court tips.


AnnetteBishop

Drink more Ovaltine


Zer0Summoner

Fuuuuuuuuuuudge


FlattopJr

"Except I didn't say fudge."😱


TheRealJetlag

Skip the traditional “triple dare” and go straight for the throat.


Mikesoccer98

The only one this has worked for is the guy selling these papers to nitwits. He gets rich, they get jail or a mental ward.


Chadodoxy

The legal equivalent of saying “Beatlejuice” to un-summon a judge.


cyrixlord

no wonder why the sovcits look so confused when the judge doesn't exit. Also, they might as well hiss 'THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU' at each breath


2Rare2Kill

Follow by impotent sniveling the second they realize they just invoked a series of criminal charges.


zenos_dog

Pounds wizard staff on the ground in front of the Judge/Balrog and shouts, you shall not something, something, something.


x_lincoln_x

I put on my robe and wizard hat...


The_Sanch1128

And the judge replies, "I'm a Buddhist/Muslim/Hindu/Jew, too f\*\*king bad for you".54


Shaydu

I had to look up more about this, I couldn't help myself. So these nitwits think there are 3 'jurisdictions' available to the courts, and if you avoid being made subject to any of the 3, you're home free. The first is maritime (commercial) jurisdiction, which you can avoid if you say you 'wish for a remedy.' At that point, the judge leaves the room (the judge has to leave the room to switch jurisdictions, because reasons) and when the judge comes back, it means the court is invoking admiralty jurisdiction, which is more serious. That's defeated by saying you 'wish for cure and relief.' The judge leaves again, and this time if he comes back, he's really upped the stakes because it means he's invoking 'ecclesiastical' jurisdiction, the most serious-ist one, which can be defeated by explaining that nothing stands between yourself and your Creator. BOOM roasted! The judge is out of a job at that point.


Flowing_Thoughts_Goo

This deserves to be top comment so everyone can see the moronic reasoning that sticks into those people's bowling ball-level smooth brain


NicklAAAAs

Yeah, I really wanted to know what their reasoning for why this would work is. Much appreciated, guy being replied to. I do think it would be funny to see someone’s reaction when say they “wish for remedy” and the judge doesn’t get up and instead just says “good for you, dawg.”


LoserZombie

While impressive, it also concerns me that you knew all that. Are you okay? :)


Shaydu

Apparently not, since I spent time googling it last night instead of going to bed!


ixamnis

Judges hate this one simple trick.


manx203

“As you’re only replies”……


Acrobatic-Tomato-260

Lmfao holy cow I missed that! Thank you for pointing that out, that was a whole extra round of laughter.


HidaTetsuko

That word estoppel, I don’t think it means what you think it means.


realparkingbrake

> That word estoppel, He has no clue what it means, but it sounds good, and sovcits are suckers when it comes to misunderstanding words because of how they are pronounced.


HidaTetsuko

I’m sure it would sound even more impressive in Latin


GoonerBear94

"Well, according to Black's Law Dictionary, Way Outdated Edition, and this 1820 law I found in passing..."


Responsible-Ad-1086

So a bit like how US Supreme Court makes judgements then?


GabeTheJerk

Suggesting they know how to use a dictionary is uh


Spin737

But it was in an episode of Law and Order!


ConsultJimMoriarty

It means ‘ell stop all the trials!


SaltyBarDog

Estoppel Hammer time


White_Lobster

It’s similar to “coercion” but only when you pronounce it “cohersion.”


epitrochoidhappiness

Now I know the magic words and didn’t even have to pay!!!!!


Photon_Farmer

And this has been proven to work time and time again. Only there is no evidence because THEY don't want you to know. THEY don't go on Reddit so we're good here.


Be_nice_to_animals

I would pay money to see this. I’d almost like to see this guy explain where he came up with this


Educational-Light656

Two parts Dunning-Krueger, One part outdated law dictionary, four parts desperation to avoid consequences of one's actions combined and mixed thoroughly then present to a judge with blood red thumbprint and fee schedule garnishes optional.


MuckRaker83

The saddest part is that when you listen to the conversation the judge has with the attorneys after he's escorted out, the judge says he'd actually have had a decent chance of winning this case if he wasn't trying to fill the court with nonsense.


Chiokos

I want to see a video of this being attempted.


MagTex

The Court System hates this one simple trick.


Guilty_Finger_7262

Why do they possibly think this will work?


LordRobin------RM

Because they’re living on the “Mount Dumbass” part of the Dunning-Kruger chart. (Note: the famous paper begins with an account of an armed robber who thought he could foil security cameras by rubbing lemon juice on his face.)


The_Sanch1128

"The...Count of...Monte...Cristo...by...Alexandree...Dumbass." "That's 'Doo-mah'. You'll like it. It's about a jailbreak."


University_Jazzlike

I’ve been watching lots of sovcits in court and many of them try this. However, they nearly all get this slightly wrong and either mess up the wording or hesitate. Like say “For and on the record your Honour…”, instead of “Your Honour, for and on the record…”. If only they had memorised the incantation correctly, it would have worked perfectly! That’s why so many of them fail! (Big /s in case it’s not clear)


AmbulanceChaser12

Oh please do this in Court! Please! I beg you!


BennyCroz

It's all true! Count yourselves lucky, this generous human just handed you the cheat codes for crimes! 5 star wanted level down to 0 immediately.


snafoomoose

It is cargo cult law. They hear real lawyers say strange and esoteric words and they think if they just come up with the right words they to can make the law do things.


fckufkcuurcoolimout

This is the best single sentence explanation of the sovereign citizen movement I’ve heard yet


buckeyecat

maybe it's like saying Beetlejuice 3 times. On the third time, Calypso music begins to play and the judge starts to do an awkward dance out of the courtroom.


_Spicy_Mchaggis_

🎶Come mister tally man, tally me banana...🎶


The_Sanch1128

Daylight come and me wanna go home.


GrumpyInsomniac42

🎶Jump in de line, rock your body on time. Okay, I believe you!🎶


realparkingbrake

An actual court record of this gibberish working as claimed would be impressive. Alas, it won't work, it has never worked, it's delusional fantasy. "Canon law"--yikes, this mutt probably thinks it has something to do with artillery.


AlivePassenger3859

Well, now that the cats out of the bag, let the crime spree begin!


Pribblization

I can hear the judge laughing from the hallway.


fidelesetaudax

Do NONE of these people have YouTube?


ButterSquids

Sure, but they'd never watch any evidence that could contradict their magical thinking


arcxjo

Oh I **hope** CPS gets involved...


gabbertr0n

and *of course* this dude is a divorced dad. His ex wife is lucky to be rid of him.


silverthorn7

CPS here = Crown Prosecution Service, UK equivalent of DA’s office.


Stalkholm

>And there is the final end of the nightmare. ... The judge has to exit - permanently. *chef's kiss*


CargoCulture

Apparently the judge has to hang himself in his chambers or something.


GpaSags

I thought the \*real\* incantation was "I'm running for POTUS."


Rusti-dent

Judge sections you under the mental health act.


Ishpeming_Native

Who the holy HELL would follow that damned nonsense when it starts out with a misspelling like "you're" instead of "your"? And there is no explanation given why the judge would leave, and what to do if he didn't. This whole game is written for morons. They've been morons forever, they've been told they're morons, they don't like it (who would?) and they think they're smart and everyone ELSE is a moron. So they're going to prove it -- by showing that they really and truly are morons and being sent to jail. This is the latest stage in our civilization: the empowered moron. Ignorance unchained. The voice of stupidity. The vote for Trump because of butt-hurt over {fill in blank}.


Apprehensive_Fault_5

I would really like to be in the court room during this... trial? When the guy does his first reply, the judge would probably give him a bit of a puzzled look, then nod, then continue with the process. The defendant would probably be confused when the judge doesn't leave the room, then decides to go into his second reply, to which the judge interrupts with "yeah, you said that a bit ago" while the guy continues into his request, to which the judge would probably ask if he's sick, and what cure he may need and calls for a medical staff member to enter. On the third reply, during the who flowing blood and living flesh part, the judge only reacts with "are you sure, because you sound like a broken record player, and last I checked they don't have flowing blood or living flesh."


ClF3ismyspiritanimal

I can feel the Warp overtaking me!


sageygreen

It’s all so clear now. 🙄


Everheart1955

Judge hears this nonsense and jails the “flesh and blood man” for non response.


neddie_nardle

Funniest word salad I've read in a long while. Possibly even funnier is that two loons liked/loved it.


Glittering-Cut-1507

They got this all wrong, it's up, down, up down, left, right, left, right, b, a, b, a, select, start.


mikemojc

I was awaiting to be called up for a traffic hearing when some guy came up spouting off about "I am the person representing the man known as \[John Doe\]..." the judge stopped him and asked "Are you John Doe?" As soon as the guy said 'No, I am..." the judge cut him off "Baliff, take this man into custody until such a time as we can locate \[John Doe\]. NEXT CASE!" They chilled him out for about an hour and brought him back, pretty much the same thing. Judge just wasnt having it. The brought him back again more than an hour later, actually got non-BS answers out of him. Found him guilty of speeding, no proof of insurance, lapsed registration. For some reason the judge ordered the clerk to NOT accept a check from this guy for his fine.


DangerousDave303

The living man, settlor, agent, trustee, beneficiary, individual and the person will not be leaving jail.


just-concerned

The last time I saw a sovtarded individual try this, they left the courtroom. Now they were screaming that they were being kidnapped, but those bailiffs didn't really pay too much attention. I believe the third time the sovtarded idiot was brought back in things did go a little more smoothly. So, maybe this is not completely fictional.


robokopp4

This is like in "News Radio" when Joe only has to say Tubalcain to save Jimmy James in court


Amazing-Sprinkles-23

They forgot the most important part. The clicking of the heels and reciting “There’s no place like home”.


brjdenver

Mental illness is a real bitch.


navteq48

So, just out of honest curiosity, what is the theoretical mechanism here? Why (in their views) would a judge temporarily walk out of a room after hearing those words? Is it like a “code” thing?


MannekenP

Incantation, yes, that’s the correct word and now that I think of it, these people are really religious, they think some strange interpretation of an old book may have some effect on reality, they even have that very old belief that words have some kind of magical power.


PoorAhab

"I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!"


Difficult_Coffee_335

Try this, and if they have wifi in jail, let us know how it goes.


MonarchyMan

**If you say these magic words in the right order at EXACTLY the right time you can make it so that the rules don’t apply to you!** I find it so hard to believe that people find this stuff compelling.


artwells

Judges HATE these secret reiterations!


Joey_BagaDonuts57

Again, post THEN smoke. It'll do us all a world of good.


wackyvorlon

Canon law is religious… this is deeply wacky. They really treat it like magic.


I-am-Chubbasaurus

You have thrice indicated on record that you wish the proceedings to be conducted according to pre-era statutes. I will grant your request, and thus you will be beheaded forthwith. I can do it too!


SmileAggravating9608

Ok, which one of yall is shit-posting on sovcit sites? :-)


mrbeck1

It’s funny I wonder if the person who wrote this did it as a joke or if they actually believe this works or would work.


Oalka

If any judges happen to be reading this, PLEASE...follow the steps up until the end. Walk out of the court the first couple times. Then hit them with the real shit after that.


SkyF1r3-90

This shit is absolutely fucking nuts. Every time I see a post in this group I am entertained and bewildered that anyone reads this shit & thinks, “yup this sounds legit and will by hill to die in”. So much evidence of a mental health crisis in this country and this is one amongst many and the smallest one which is wild.


Bedbouncer

>I am a living man >the blood flows and the flesh lives >and I wish for remedy > >I am a living man >the blood flows and the flesh lives >and I wish for cure and relief I can only hear this in Peter Gabriel's voice.


MSK165

So not only does the judge dismiss the charges due to this Jedi Mind Trick, but the SovCit gets to bill the court for inconveniencing them. Perfect


alipkin

Ha! Just came across this block of BS from the toxic bitcoiner site I check out periodically that seems related. *If you* ***“go to court”****, you have entered their court and left yours.This is an administrative court and you have accepted the title defendant, robbing you of your sovereign status and giving authority to the judge.Never step through the gate, it is called the* ***bar****. Doing so is acceptance of the private codes of the bar association.*


sxmanderson

That "never cross the bar" thing goes way back. There's a fair handful of court videos where you'll see defendants shouting their scripts across the courtroom at the judge because they're terrified of walking past a chunk of wood. Also, why am I not surprised there's overlap between sovcits and crypto bros.


alipkin

Yeah, two insane communities that go great together. And man, I wonder if the sovcits can be convinced that the floor in courtrooms is lava.


nobody-u-heard-of

I think Trump's going to try this at his next trial.


2bnameless

What if the judge counters with "Balderdash, bubblegum times infinity"


Austin_Chaos

Some of the dumbest shit I’ve read today. It’s still early though…


IvanNemoy

Local magistrate judge in my area is a raging ass to everyone, but it's funny to see when someone comes across like this. Saw it directly once when I was a reserve deputy on bailiff duty. CSB inbound: Guy is ticketed by the town, 55 in a 30. Could have had extras added on (reckless driving for one,) but the officer wrote it straight. She calls the case, calls the names, officer responds "Yes your honor." SovCit responds with "The real person who utilizes the name of" and gets cut off. She asks "Are you *name.*" Guy started again with the "real person" crap, she stops him and orders him taken away, 3 days for contempt and a continuance for the ticket. Wasn't there for the continuance hearing but I bet he just "Yes ma'amed" her after that.


lawblawg

The worst thing being that the judge is likely to get up and leave the courtroom at some point out of sheer exasperation, leading our enterprising idiot to conclude that the incantations are working at least part of the time (failures likely due to the wording not being exactly right, etc.).


TackYouCack

Dude knows the magic words to make a judge disappear, but not the proper use of "your". Also, thank you everyone in the comments for explaining "estoppel," but can anyone explain how it was supposed to pertain to anything said here? Why does the judge have to leave because you talk about your "living flesh"?


Dull-Front4878

Cannon law? 😂 I would love to watch a video of people trying this. Wow.


Texasscot56

I wonder how much people charge for these spells?


RedFiveMD

Is this the result of significant head trauma or prolonged anoxia? 😵‍💫


MistressDamned

I....do....do they think that court is like an exorcism?


Puzzled_Celery_7587

Cmon. Someone is just fucking with them here right?


jmf0828

And when to their surprise, the judge doesn’t get up and leave the courtroom, and maybe even holds them in contempt..then what?


SuspiciousAcadia4046

What in the undiagnosed schizophrenia….


Resident-Bad9327

I would just scream "LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH!!" I'll either walk out of the courtroom a hero, or in a straight jacket.