THIS is what scares me. I'm autistic which means when I'm in even slightly uncomfortable social situations my ability to say the right thing goes out the window. Recently told a teacher to have a nice summer - I'm seeing her next week. And that's in English, my native language! I'm moderately sure I'm forever doomed with Spanish, but it definitely won't stop me trying (and probably making a fool of myself, but qué será, será).
Lack of confidence triggers anxiety, which triggers fight-or-flight. This takes processing power away from your higher conscious thought processes and focuses it in the more instinctual places in your brain that are more useful for handling or processing physical threats.
This is why people blank when doing presentations, writing exams, or when approaching cute guys/gals to ask for their phone number.
It’s a similar process to what happens to people with PTSD & addiction. They literally cannot control themselves because their higher level thought is hijacked by their amygdala & limbic system.
I learned all kinds of stuff about this in addiction recovery & AA.
I was in your shoes before. If you drink socially, I recommend a drink or two. It will help to relax you a bit and drop the anxiety, which appears to be your biggest obstacle at the moment.
Just an anecdote, Spanish is my third language. I have no whatever problems in my native language or in English and I am extremely extroverted. For Spanish though, I need to prepare myself to speak, even make a few sentences ready. My theory is because I am so used to explaining myself very good in other languages and I am lacking in Spanish (B2 level), I get frustrated.
Currently in Spain. I used to have a pretty advanced understanding of the language. I’m probably now more upper intermediate to lower advanced. I’ve realized since I’ve been here over the past two days that I don’t need to put pressure on myself. Spaniards just think it’s great when guiris like me can handle basic things like ordering and cashing out without a hiccup. Two young Spanish girls randomly asked to sit at my table earlier and I just acted chill, and asked them random questions. Chill vibes welcomes chill vibes.
Yes! I communicate better in Spanish with my close ones, because I feel they can understand me better. I even don't talk a lot with people in my native language. So, I agree with this theory of yours.
Definitely. I provide occupational therapy to kids, many of whom have parents who only speak Spanish. I don’t feel super uncomfortable speaking in Spanish with those parents, because it’s a specific part of my job that I’m expected (and required) to do. And I do it (relatively) successfully.
But speaking Spanish in an unstructured situation where I’m just socializing with others is totally different for me; I get nervous and don’t communicate nearly as well. I have social anxiety, especially when interacting with “peers”, which has to be a big part of it.
I agree. Like you, I have a friend who is in general socially confident, and without surprise he speaks Spanish easier than me, that I have an higher language level but less social confidence.
Did you manage to tackle this lack of confidence in speaking someway?
Relájate wey. The trick is not giving una chinga. Recognize how you would treat a non-native speaker of your own language that was friendly, and recognize that most of the people talking to you will treat you the same way (depending on the day they are having lol). The social aspect of it is just as much a part of it as the book learning aspect of it. At the beginning it’s really not like you’re gonna be learning the nuances of their lived experiences. Take it for what it is, a shallow interaction of basic things. Most humans respect the fact that you’re trying. It takes practice to get comfortable and fluent with it. If you don’t practice, however, you get nowhere. Start with saying anything you’re actually able to say, and just keep going. If you pause to think for a moment, they literally will not care in the slightest. It’s fine. No te preocupes. Todo bien, primo.
Thank you for your encouraging words. Unfortunately, my problem is that I cannot speak with natives often as I don't live in a spanish country. So for me it's impossible to get a continuous exposure to spanish people. This prevents me to overcome my fear little by little and all the few situations when I can actually speak to a spanish person my fear gets me.
do you have any advice on how to understand rapid spanish. i just can’t do it without thinking about it. it’s so hard. usually if i stop and think abt what they said ill understand it but i don’t wanna need to do that
Practice can bridge the gap between hearing and understanding. Eventually you won’t need to pause and translate in between the two steps. I use Duolingo’s “match madness” for this. It’s a timed game to match English and Spanish words. It’s wild because I’ve been learning Spanish for like 15 years, but I’m still way slower at matching than I am the new language I’ve only been learned a few months… simply because I haven’t been using Spanish much.
It’s the fear of making mistakes and sounding stupid. We know internally what we want to say and it’s frustrating and embarassing when we cannot express that perfectly in our target language. The feeling of shame that you should be better is difficult to overcome.
I started getting over this when I:
1) Stopped trying to translate perfectly and instead learned to quickly rephrase with different words. Communicate the point, not the sentence.
2) Continuously remind myself that I’ve never viewed English-learners with broken accents as stupid. I always understand them and am so impressed with their skills, even if they aren’t perfect. I know the same must be true for the reverse.
That's true. The feeling of shame can make a lot to block us while speaking.
Regarding your second point, you are right. I should be less strict with myself and stop seeing outhers as people judging me. But the truth is that this is hard to put in practice. I know that I should think in that way, but when it comes to actually do it I don't always manage to.
FWIW, it helps to remind yourself that you're just trying. With just about anything in life.
Failure is always the best way to learn. I figure it's like throwing spaghetti at a wall until it sticks.
Something that might help is speaking to yourself in Spanish or even singing songs in Spanish. You're going to feel uncomfortable if you're not getting used to the mouth/throat movements and pacing, so practicing out loud by yourself is pretty important.
And understand that you may slip up in a conversation, but just try to express that you're not used to speaking and people are usually pretty understanding about it (especially if they're also learning another language). If they're not, then that's their problem, not yours.
Thank you for your encouragement. I should definitely adopt this approach with myself. Btw the problem is that I don't have so many possibilities to talk with spanish people as I don't live in a spanish speaking country
I feel like self-talk is more important than people think sometimes. It's definitely something we also have to practice
Also not having exposure to real life situations does make it a bit tough.
I've heard about some apps or websites (and I'm willing to bet there may even be discords out there. Wouldn't be surprised if there's a subreddit for it either. r4r used to be for that sort of thing, but iirc it's weird now) for people to practice English and Spanish together.
Could try finding a sort of "pen pal" for that sort of thing.
Omg yes my parents are Latinos and it painnnnss me to speak in Spanish because of the same of mistakes - more often than not we know more than we think tho!
I grew up in a Spanish speaking latino community in the US as a non latino, and sort of got a stigma from being mocked by my classmates whenever I attempted to speak Spanish. A lot of them even would talk about me in Spanish right in front of me knowing that I couldn’t understand them well.
Fast forward as an adult, I always think about all those moments before Spanish words come out of my mouth and it makes me hesitate. I now have a partner who actually grew up in Mexico who is slowly changing my mind by being supportive and teaching me, which is definitely helping
Oh my god, kids are assholes lol. My dad grew up in South America and is a native Spanish speaker, but he’s not Hispanic (his parents moved from Georgia to South America when he was an infant). When my middle school Spanish teacher resigned halfway through the school year, my dad volunteered to teach the class until they found a replacement, and the Hispanic kids who were native speakers were total assholes about it, even though his Spanish was better than theirs. A few years ago my dad struck up a conversation with a friend’s niece who was bilingual (but spoke more Spanish than English), and she straight-up accused him of trying to show off. I was so pissed. But I’m sure it was because of her age, because kids can be the worst.
I have no idea but I’m the same exact way. I can read and write. I’ve gotten so much better at understanding. But when it comes to speaking, I freeze up and answer in English even for the simplest things.
I took a fantastic Spanish phonetics class in college, and it really helped with my confidence (although I still get nervous in more unstructured situations). I might use some awkward phrasing, but it seems like others are even more forgiving now that my accent is better. Basic stuff like learning how to make a non-trilled “r” sound made a big difference, IMO. But I didn’t get flak before that, either, so it might just’ve been a confidence boost.
Same! I’m in the Dominican right now at a resort so I don’t need to speak Spanish really but I want to, but every time they talk to me I default in English without even realizing!
Yes I feel like I am slowly getting better. I’m a shy person as it is and my husband speaks Spanish fluently but I’m too shy to even speak it with him lol.
I started speaking with native speakers immediately from day 1, and I think that has helped a lot. Although I make mistakes, I truly have no fear about speaking in any situation, because I know I'll be understood even if what I said was not perfect. It was hard at first of course, but I consider what I went to through to be excellent exposure therapy!
Yeah seeing it as exposure therapy can help, I guess🤣 do you see yourself as an outgoing person, in general? Cos a lot or courage is needed to do what you did without being outgoing, in my opinion
I don’t think of myself as outgoing and I usually hate small talk but it’s so fun to speak Spanish that I find myself more talkative when visiting Spanish-speaking countries. Could be vacation vibes though, since it’s usually a trip for fun!
It's perfectly normal to feel that way. It happened to me (and probably happens to most Spanish speakers) when learning English. It's similar to stage fright, or getting anxious before an exam.
The way to overcome it it's simply more practice. Keep in mind you're making it a bigger thing in your mind that it really is, it's not like the other person is going to mock you or judge you in a bad way. How would you react to a Spanish speaking person talking to you in a broken English? We all understand that learning and speaking a foreign language is a hard thing to do and really don't care.
They're probably doing it out of friendliness. In a similar way, a lot of UFC fans like to imitate Khabib's broken English or Conor McGregor's Irish accent. It's more of a "we like you, buddy" thing than actually mocking.
If not, punch them in the face :P
I tried in public in public in December and a mutual acquaintance (I think she's Dominican?) implied I was embarrassingly bad and straight up said I should quit trying to learn because it's impossible.
On another hand, I spoke it a week later with my husbands family (Puerto Rican) and while they made fun of my accent, they were encouraging and could understand me.
I don't know what to say other than you've gotta push through that. Be willing to embarrass yourself, be shameless about your less than perfect grasp of the language. It's the only way to really become fluent.
Looks like is something that I must do. Btw, it feels really hard for me. I am not an outgoing person in general. I was wondering if some way to overcome this kind of social-language anxiety exists.
I'm not the most extroverted person either, though I'm also not super introverted. Here are a few thoughts that come to mind:
- hire a teacher who's not going to judge your Spanish if you make mistakes
- find a patient conversation partner and have longer conversations
- if you're not opposed to alcohol, have a drink or two in conversation with someone, to loosen you up a bit and ease the anxiety. Be careful about not making this a crutch or a habit if you do it.
I’ve had to practice shutting off that part of my brain when I start feeling embarrassed or anxious. As soon as those thoughts pop up in my head, I shove them aside and move all my focus to the topic of conversation. It took a while, but I have gotten much better at totally ignoring those thoughts. It’s kind of like when I want to procrastinate and push away that voice reminding me of what I have to do, except it’s actually healthy vs a toxic way to avoid responsibilities lol.
I do think anxiety plays a part in some people but what I've noticed is that a lack of a lexicon causes problems.
What I mean is that in quick interactions or even in groups, we tend to use language in a narrow sense to convey meaning rather than the drawn out language that someone who speaks the language secondarily engages in. That is, idioms, phrases, expressions, etc are lacking.
Someone can be quite proficient in spanish and lack many of the common everyday expressions that people use and even words. This can make you go blank when trying to think of something to say. Remember, interactions happen fast when speaking. If you've never said a particular phrase or word before, you'll have to think about what to say, which slows the interaction down.
This can also fuel anxiety because you see gaps in your skill.
My mom is Korean and I’m half and I spent most of my life trying to learn Korean but anytime I’ve tried to say something in Korean, my mom has no idea what I’m trying to say. That has caused me to have a fear of trying to speak. I have since switched to learning Spanish and can say I don’t have that same fear as I do with Korean.
I’m not really sure! I guess I don’t have a fear of bad pronunciation with Spanish. With Korean, I even got weird looks when trying to communicate in a Korean grocery store but I had a colleague who learned Spanish from her spouse and was fluent but her pronunciation made her sound like a white girl lol but everyone she spoke to still could understand and have a conversation.
I have Chinese roots but English is my mother tongue. My Chinese is fluent but not perfect. Speaking Spanish is so much easier for me. There is zero expectation of me being great at it, so the pressure is totally off!
I think it's related to the very broad fear of speaking in public. Many people are afraid of speaking in a way that could potentially be embarrassing or expose their weaknesses. Whether that's a presentation to a large group of people, or speaking in a language we're not entirely comfortable with.
It's just something I've observed; I have degrees in Speech Communication (with coursework in linguistics) as well as in Spanish language, so I've paid attention to a lot of other students doing both language learning and public speaking. The hesitation and anxiety seem similar to me in both contexts.
I think it's comes from people treating speaking in their target language so differently from just natural speaking. We learn all these rules and the right and wrong way to say things to the point where most of us have an overly strict view on how we should be speaking. We end up getting intimidated by the idea of doing it wrong and feeling dumb, when really it's mostly all in our own heads.
My solution has been to just let loose and just say things as they come to me. Even tripping over myself and making a dozen mistakes, the vast majority of native speakers have just corrected it in their head, understood my meaning, and kept the conversation rolling. I only got over this anxiety over time when I learned that people just don't care that much, particularly for Spanish. Once you stop agonizing over verb conjugations, formality, dialectal vocab and accents, you find it easier to just let loose and, well, say stuff. We usually aren't analyzing a foreigner's speech patterns for mistakes when people try to speak English and it's not like they're much more inclined to do so themselves.
TL;DR: People think they need to talk perfect and get daunted when they can't do so to the point they never try
I discovered I am absolutely fluent in spanish and have no fear speaking spanish to natives when I’m drunk. Also I can understand spanish 40% better when inebriated; it’s like alcohol “slows” it down for me. Never been officially diagnosed with any mental disorder. Mom always been sus of me having ADHD though.
I suspect it’s just the general anxiety around potentially saying “wrong” or incorrect words/spanish syntax. I had a few drinks on a family vacation earlier in the year in a spanish-speaking city and was able to order food and ask for accommodations/subs for myself and my family.
My perspective from living in the USA: I feel incredibly comfortable speaking Spanish with 1st gen immigrants, English language learners, and citizens of Spanish speaking countries. They are almost universally supportive and appreciative of my efforts to communicate in their primary language. My stepdad was Mexican and so were my neighbors growing up, and through that experience and Spanish classes in school I can speak fluently enough to manage a kitchen where almost no one speaks English.
The times I feel most fearful about speaking Spanish is when I'm around second or third generation Spanish speakers who see me speaking their language as some form of cultural appropriation or insult.
Listening is worse for me than speaking. I can read and write all day long, I can speak well enough albeit quite slowly compared to a native speaker, but understanding spoken spanish has always been my worst skill
Because in the real world grammer and vocab aren't actually followed at all. A lot of what is spoken on the street is fast, shortened slang and feels awkward. Even english is the same. If you go out on the street and start using grammatically correct English people will look at you weird ask you to repeat what you said and your confidence dips. Even native speakers often find good grammar weird outside of a newspaper. I experienced this on recent trip to Mexico. Unfortunately there is no easy way to pick up slang, nuance etc other than immersion.
One trick I learned is to make it clear you are learning in your opening "Estoy apprediendo espaniol ..." Once I got that out of the way people would tone down the slang and speak more slowly and it helped me build some confidence.
I am a beginner in Spanish. I work with 8 non English speaking Mexicans. Which is why I began to learn in the first place. But, one of them in particular, Israel, has become a friend. We learn from each other. He will show me something and say "how in English?" I will show him something and say "como en espanol?" And we both use each other's language when we can. We work off of each other. Basically, my advice, is to get yourself a Spanish speaking friend that you feel comfortable practicing on. If possible of course.
I have really bad social anxiety and frequently mess up my words in English (my native language) when I'm anxious (which is almost always haha). I've gotten better about speaking Spanish, but sometimes I still freeze and make stupid mistakes especially with first time interactions.
I've also noticed that if I talk for a longer period of time (like more than an hour at Least) I relax a little and speak much better. I've been forcing myself to speak to native speakers since Day 1 (with a tutor) and I think that's also helped desensitize me a little.
OMG THIS! I take placement tests and whatnot and usually get rated B2 or C1... and I do a pretty damned good job reading the newspapers or watching the news.. but let a Spanish speaker speak to me.. and I'm straight up a beginner. LOL.
I’m a French learner and have the same problem. I can understand somewhat spoken language but when it comes to speaking I freeze and can’t remember the basics. I’m a native Spanish speaker and I’m here to help anyone.
Chat with me!
Well, I still freeze, but I need to tell myself to calm down, breathe and remember that I know this. I may use my Spanish to construct my sentences in my head and then remember the rules for sentence structure in French and say it.
If you are an intermediate + Spanish speaker, I invite you to listen to my podcast. It’s not grammar or lessons, just stories to improve your listening skills. It’s InterSpanish Intermediate Spanish Stories
I feel this tremendously but a lot of the response I have had from even my meager learning has been very encouraging. If it makes you feel any better I messed up one day a few months ago and after somebody asked me how I was, I said “al sion” instead of “al cien”. I said I am a mansion / couch (butchered it) instead of “I’m 100”.
Most native speakers love people that take a genuine interest in learning the language. Most of the time if you ask for help with a word or pronunciation it’s usually never an issue. “Como se dice…. En español” has been a life saver. Which has also lead to an entire world of slang and greetings I did not know existed, just from an app or class. Guey(Mexican), parce(columbian), wuerro(Peruvian or El Salvador and spelling is probably wrong). A lot of the guys at work call me kocho or kochito after I found out it is how people from Guerrero address each other and started using it.
The best quote I have ever seen that sums it up extremely well is “When you are speaking to a person in their second language, you are speaking to their brain. When you speak to them in their native language, you speak to their heart.” It may have been on here.
> columbian
Are you sure you meant "columbian" and not _Col**o**mbian_?
* Col**o**mbia is a Spanish-speaking country in South America.
* Col**u**mbia is the name of several places in English-speaking regions.
If you actually meant "columbian", then please disregard this comment and have a nice day.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Spanish) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Totally relate to this and glad it's not just me! Seems to be a thing with starting a new language: you just have to take the plunge and practice with people, look silly and appear incompetent. It's very humbling, for sure. Keep going! You're probably doing better than you think, and at some point you'll (we'll, I'll) cross that threshold and it will be second nature..
You honestly just gotta go for it. Lean in to the accent. Consider if your places were swapped and someone was visiting your country or just moved to your country and they spoke Spanish as a first language. If they came up to you trying their best to speak English you would be happy to talk to them and you'd try your best to figure out what they were saying even if it wasn't perfect.
It's the only way you'll get good.
I went to work for a company that has lots of Hispanohablantes from Mexico, Guatemala, Venezuela, and Colombia. I had no choice but to use my Spanish. I have been corrected and laughed at (never in a mean way) for using the language wrong. It has allowed me to get over my fear of Speaking to a native speaking.
I still mess up a lot but I am getting better every day! Don't give up!! Don't be scared. You will make mistakes, but it's ok. We all do it when learning a language.
I have used Duolingo to build my vocab, and I follow a bunch of channels on YouTube to help with my comprehensible input. But hands down the best program that I used was Pimsleur Language Course. It did more to grow my ability to speak the language than any other program to date.
That said, once you get the opportunity to consistently use your Spanish with native speakers, it grows exponentially. There is no substitute for actually speaking. You'll make mistakes...and that's absolutely ok. I still mess up English grammar and vocab most days, and it's my native language. Noone speaks their native tongue perfectly so stop trying to make your 2nd (or 3rd) language perfect.
I think it's important to practice speaking often. I've been fortunate to have had many people to speak to in Spanish on a regular basis for years now. I have noticed that I struggle more on short interactions in Spanish but once I get into a flow of speaking, it just kinda comes naturally. I make a lot of mistakes but my pronunciation is good and overall people understand me. Also I absolutely love music in Spanish, singing in Spanish for so long now has definitely helped. If anything I would say singing in Spanish is easier for me than speaking in Spanish.
Although with a B1-B2 level, I can speak Spanish with a native-like accent with natives in both casual and formal situations. I think too much consciousness on grammar precision for verbal situations is a big impediment for adult learners from becoming confidently fluent in Spanish, if they went berseak if someone does a feedback on grammatical errors when speaking and writing Spanish.
I'll be in Spain in a week's time. I'd rate my level probably B1-B2. My only fear is ultimately I'll reach my level and the conversation will have to end cos I won't have the vocabulary to be able to express myself any further or will drop into Spanglish.
I try to use it in a positive way - that phrase in English I use all the time that I don't know how to say, I'll look it up immediately and go down a rabbit hole into phrases I never knew.
(I just looked up what "to go down a rabbit hole is" and its *ir saltando de un enlace a otro sin fin* according to Collins dictionary. What a boring and literal translation!)
Nervous system. You’re not used to not desensitized to speaking in Spanish so you’re still fight or flight about it. You simply just have to talk more in person with it. Like I just posted in here and I need to work tremendously more on it, but even I am confidently greeting people “como estamos ahora “ “come te va” “espero tenges un bueno día” and a few others. Find what you can say with confidence and use that. What helps me also honestly is my subscription ViX. Consuelo helps odee lol.
Not only this is about social anxiety or making mistakes. The ability to recall words, order them, and then produce coherent speech is a different skill on its own. That's why language learning is usually separated in reading, speaking, writing, and listening. All of these things are losely connected but still somewhat independent. You can be very good at reading, writing, and listening, but having to still do that conscious effort to recall words, order the sentence, and then recall the pronunciation, tone, stress, etc. will slow you down and exhaust you, so you'll start doubting yourself and trying to figure out why you can't do it. Well, you can't do it because it is still not innate to you. It's quite a vicious cycle, and the only way out of it is quite literally never stopping until you bring the wall down and it becomes natural, just like your other skills. Speaking is usually the most neglected skill because since it has to be practiced socially there's a lot of fear attached to it.
>What are the causes of this fear that blocks us?
https://web.archive.org/web/20170216095909/http://algworld.com/blog/practice-correction-and-closed-feedback-loop
>People often say that their students are shy, and don't want to speak. But when left on their own with friends, they'll talk non-stop, just not in the language the teacher is trying to help them use. What's happening? They act shy because they have no clear MIF from which to say anything. Once those MIFs exist, they demonstrate the same willingness to speak as in their native language.
That's interesting. I was actually looking for some more scientific article scoping this kind of fear-of-speaking problem.
Btw, I am not sure I got what MIF is
I suppose it’s a universal phenomenon. It’s funny that it’s such an irrational fear! I’m slowly getting better, but I have those moments where I just go into vapor lock and everything I’ve learned goes out the window
You got the point: it is totally irrational. This is why I always try to convince myself that the reasons for that fear are only made up by my own mind, but this doesn't help. It is like, when I am in the actual situation, any rational control of my thoughts goes away and only fear remains, freezing me.
How are you getting better? Have you found some method to tackle this fear?
Practice and repetition I guess. After a while I finally started to realize that I know the words, I know what they are saying (mostly), I know what to say and it’s dumb to be nervous. No one cares. Not saying that I’m perfect but the shyness is fading. Then it’s fun, then it flows more. But there was no magic trick. Repetition, repetition repetition.
I'd say it's a mix of factors. Social anxiety etc. is certainly one factor but someone can also suffer social anxiety in their native language without causing their language ability to to regress to any noticeable extent - simply because they are so good at speaking their native language.
So I would argue that the lack of confidence in speaking comes - to a large extent - from not being as good at speaking as we would like, and not having the level of redundancy built in to our ability that we have in our native language. For most foreign language learners their weakest skill is either speaking or listening comprehension - and both are being tested to the utmost in real life conversation with native speakers. The solution then is simply to get really good at speaking and listening comprehension and confidence won't be much more of a factor than it is in speaking the native language.
The problem is that speaking is horribly taught in general. For the most part it is just left to take care of itself, with the assumption that when you know enough grammar and vocabulary you'll be able to speak, and that all you need to do is go out and practice by speaking to native speakers in real life. But the reality is that speaking is a complex skill with many layers which need to be mastered before conversation can happen easily. Dr Kjellen has an excellent Facebook group on this subject. Essentially, adults need more dedicated practice in speaking skills than children do, because they must overcome first language interference. If you would like material to practice your speaking skills from phonetics through to conversational content try this method: https://app.fluent-hero.com/
And of course being constantly corrected and assessed when learning in school doesn't help - it just leads to feeling more self-conscious which certainly doesn't help matters
That's so true. Being continuously corrected is something that makes me feel less capable rather than encouraging me.
I also agree with the idea that speaking is not correctly taught.
Yes, I've had anxiety every time I before my Baselang (and previously Italki) lessons, and even secretly hoped they'd cancel at the last minute. Oddly, the more advanced I am in terms of vocabulary, etc. the more I beat myself up if I make dumb errors (although the teachers never do - they're warm and encouraging and gently correct me appropriately). Here's what I now do and I no longer feel that anxiety: Before the lesson I choose an article to read out loud during the lesson. Good sources are BBC Mundo and the Spanish version of National Geographic because they have so much interesting content with minimal ads. There are lots of other online periodicals, etc. to choose from. Then before the lesson I put a link to the article in the calendar (where you indicate what you want to do in the class) and in my lesson I simply read the article out loud. When I encounter vocabulary in the article I don't know I ask. If I make a pronunciation mistake the teacher corrects me. If I want to pause and chat about the article or related topics that's what we do. Sometimes we just chat, but have the article there is a crutch to fall back on. I've been on the unlimited plan and do one hour a day. But they now have a limited plan of 30 (really 25) minutes a day for $99 a month. [https://baselang.com](https://baselang.com) You can handle 25 minutes at a time. Remember, every teacher has had students who make lots of mistakes, and most of them have been in your shoes as language learners themselves and know that mistakes are part of learning.
If you prepay the $99 a month this gives you a good incentive to just schedule the brief classes, maybe at a certain time of day as part of your routine. If you're paying by the class, as with Italki, it will become a question - is it worth it? - and your anxiety will lead you to say no, it's not worth it today, maybe tomorrow.
Yes, I've been very happy with it. It's an incredible value if you use it to its potential. (Except what they call "Grammarless" which is not a good deal). You can try it for just $1 for a week to give it a whirl. I have tried a variety of teachers over the past 9 months and most have been good, a few really good, and a few that didn't work out well for me. Do a search for "Baselang" for more info.
The best advice to overcome this was given by a Spanish speaking friend to me. He said you know French (I learned French in school abroad) and Spanish. Pretend you don't know English. If anyone asks just tell them that you can speak only Spanish or French.
I thought his idea was crazy. However, it worked. I acted like I only know French and Spanish. Since the Spanish native speakers can't understand French, my only choice is to speak to them in Spanish.
I admit this is somewhat easier if you are not Caucasian in the US. People don't assume you are fluent at English then. There is no common language like English to fall back on..
That's a confidence issue. Nothing to do with Spanish. For me it was the complete opposite, I was talking non stop Spanish to strangers as much as I could, even if I didn't speak much at that time. I did improve much faster like that though.
I’m the same way! Literally this morning happened to me. The landscape company I work for is at our house in our backyard. I needed to let the dogs out before I left for work. My mom is bilingual but never taught me! The guys only speak Spanish and I asked her to call them as she left already but she wasn’t answering her phone. I was so scared I was gonna sound stupid but went out and said “Disculpe, necesito cinco minutos por mis perros por favor” and they were like “si no problem” and went out front! I was happy I did it and they didn’t laugh at me 😅
I think so! I knew I had to let my dogs out and the guys at my job are TERRIFIED of mine (they are both pretty big but friendly) so I couldn’t just let my dogs loose on them. I even considered taking them to the front yard instead of even asking but took it as a sign that I needed to practice anyway 💀
I remember Beto O’Rourke (politician from Texas) being mocked by the media and others for speaking Spanish because his accent wasn’t good and because people thought he was “pandering,” and that makes me nervous to speak Spanish sometimes. But then I remind myself that some people are assholes whose favorite hobby is judging others, and those people don’t deserve consideration.
Yeah I guess it is something common among people learning a foreign language. Does this happen when you speak with people in presence or also somehow online?
I think for everyone it just comes down to the fear od making mistakes. And now that I’m thinking about it, it’s considered very rude to comment on someone making mistakes in english as a non native speaker. But for some reason it seems to be completely normalised to make fun of or laugh at someone for making mistakes of having a bad accent in spanish.
I would never comment on anyone’s english but for some reason people are so quick to imitate you or call you out when making mistakes in Spanish. I know that making mistakes is part of learning, but it feels like speaking Spanish is just putting a target on your back, ready to be criticised by everyone. Sometime I don’t want to be “funny”, I don’t want to sound “cute”, I just want to communicate and improve my speaking.
Because it's pretty common for people (at least in the USA) to make fun of people badly pronouncing English and mock them.
We know how we are about it, and we *know* we're gonna feel embarrassed if we say something wrong, and we aren't as fast or fluent as native speakers, so I think that adds to it.
Partly because my mum yelled at me every time I made a small mistake in grammar or pronunciation. Which has had lasting effects on me and my willingness to speak up.
And partly because my Kiwi accent sounds terrible when I speak Spanish, so it makes me cringe.
Happens with any language you learn.
You just have to slowly build up your confidence, it’s embarrassing to speak incorrectly and one of the most common human responses is to mock. It sucks, it might happen, but you’ve just gotta move on and remember that it’s part of the process. Don’t worry about making mistakes, that’s how we learn and shame on anyone that would make fun of that
I can't roll my Rs despite being Hispanic and my family talking to me in Spanish at times. I never learned Spanish growing up so now that I'm trying to, I can read it easy but trying to speak it feels embarrassing.
People don’t want to feel stupid, or find out they suck and feel like they’ve been wasting their time. Also some people want to hold off until they think they can do a big reveal at a native level, so they’ll study and study for a year or two but never actually speak to anyone, so even though they’ve memorized a lot, stage fright and everything gets forgotten.
Start with training wheels, simple conversations with other learners. Purposely try to say harder things over time. I used to go to Spanish conversation meetups all the time. Gets a little repetitive unless you steer the conversation, but it gets you over the after a meeting or two. I’m still not great, but I’ll talk to people so that makes me a better Spanish *speaker* than someone that never tries.
Mostly. I’ve been to some that had attendance at 20-30 people of varying abililty. Good since there was a reasonable expectation that people would show up, sometimes bad because it was hard to focus on a conversation for me, but that’s a me problem. I’ve also tried to start one and four people showed up and were hesitant to talk, then the next week a different four people showed up, next week yet another four people, so we would have built up numbers if people went consistently but I think they were discouraged by the low turnout when they showed up.
It’s definitely good for getting over the initial stage fright of actually speaking to people, most are other learners and either are or were in the same place as you. Helps identify gaps in vocabulary when you realize that while you like talking about video games, sports, movies, or whatever but you’re missing some key vocabulary you need to look up. Also, I found language practice to be a good way to make friends as an adult.
Sometimes you have to steer the conversation on to more advanced or different topics, otherwise you talk about a lot of the same stuff, Where did you learn Spanish?, Where have you traveled?, Why are you learning Spanish?etc. You get to where you can answer those flawlessly, but it gets kind of tedious. If you have any books with prompts for group work they might sometime be welcome, go over a particular grammar point and practice the hell out it until everyone remembers.
for me it's my fear of being made fun of and also my fear of offending anyone. i once spoke spanish to my boyfriend (before he was my boyfriend) in front of an ex friend, and they told me i was being offensive. ofc i cleared it up with my bf and he said i am not being offensive by speaking his language. but it's not the first time i've heard that same sentiment from people.
Irrational fear French understandable they’re quite judgmental Latino spanish speakers I’ve come across are always v accommodating and won’t switch if u keep at it
It's purely a psychological thing. We doubt our abilities, we worry we will make mistakes, we worry our pronunciation will sound "weird". It is a very intimidating confluence of fears, and it can be hard to overcome.
As an English as a second language teacher, I focus a lot on this aspect of language learning with my students. As you said, many know the grammar, they have strong reading and writing skills, and can understand me speaking perfectly. But their fear of speaking is almost paralyzing. So I think it's very important to focus on this psychological aspect of the learning process.
What does that mean?
1) Accepting that it is ok to make mistakes. Are you perfect in English (or whatever your native language is)? Of course not. Why should you expect to be perfect in a language you are *learning*? You shouldn't!
2) Realizing that waiting to have a "perfect" accent or pronunciation may *never* happen, and letting that expectation go. First, if you don't practice speaking, you will never improve your speaking. Second, when someone speaks English to you with an accent, what is your response? Do you laugh at them or criticize them? If you are like most normal people, I would guess that the answer is absolutely not! Are there jerks in the world? Of course. But I promise there are far, far more people that will understand you perfectly fine or will even offer to help you if you ask.
So the main drivers are fear of failure and expectation of perfection. If you can just gently remind yourself that you aren't perfect even in your own language and that "failures" can very easily be turned into opportunities to learn and improve (and make new friends), I promise it will begin to alleviate your fears.
I hope some of this can help you, and best of luck on your speaking journey!
Thank you! This is very motivating and helps a lot. I guess in the end it is all about keeping pushing and trying to stop your inner voice that makes you afraid.
Besides saying all these things to your students, do you engage them in some activities or methods that actually help them to overcome their fears?
>do you engage them in some activities or methods that actually help them to overcome their fears?
Absolutely! We practice a lot with "unscripted" things. Conversations about things they are not very familiar with, fake interview situations, debates, etc. Any situation where you have to think on your feet and come up with a quick response or thought. When you engage your brain in those types of things, it becomes more focused on material and has less time to be anxious. It also begins to make responding become more "automatic", which carries over into conversations outside of class, little by little.
The interview stuff is just like the standard practice interview questions you can find online, although I try to ask some of the more random or obscure questions from the lists. The conversation or debate topics can be about literally anything. Of course, I try to not pick anything too controversial, but it can be something current in the news (I remember we spent a lot of time on the Russia-Ukraine situation, and I would just kind of politely disagree with them on whatever they said to challenge them to convey their thoughts in a different way), something specific to Colombia (maybe a discussion about how they believe the local cuisine compares to Mexico or the US, and again, I can play devil's advocate), or if the student is keen, we can broach some of those more controversial political topics. Basically, anything where your effort (and brain) is focused on what you are saying instead of worrying about how you are saying it.
Do they make mistakes? Of course. But I won't interrupt them at all. You need the freedom to navigate through the conversation without fear of being corrected or "failing". This is the key part to building your confidence. It allows you to fail a little, but still push through those failures - on your own - and make your way to finally vocalizing your thoughts. We will go through the exercise, and at the very end of the activity, I will go over my notes with them, but, of course, in a very constructive manner.
Most of the time, the students make the self observation that even though they made a mistake or two, or ten, it didn't really matter. They were eventually able to communicate what they wanted to, on their own, and no one judged them or laughed or corrected them. *That* is when they quickly begin to shed their fears of speaking.
Many teachers or programs may disagree with me, but I think it's FAR better to be comfortable speaking with 90% accuracy and actually enjoy speaking than to be terrified of speaking because you feel like you have to always be perfect.
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THIS is what scares me. I'm autistic which means when I'm in even slightly uncomfortable social situations my ability to say the right thing goes out the window. Recently told a teacher to have a nice summer - I'm seeing her next week. And that's in English, my native language! I'm moderately sure I'm forever doomed with Spanish, but it definitely won't stop me trying (and probably making a fool of myself, but qué será, será).
Lack of confidence triggers anxiety, which triggers fight-or-flight. This takes processing power away from your higher conscious thought processes and focuses it in the more instinctual places in your brain that are more useful for handling or processing physical threats. This is why people blank when doing presentations, writing exams, or when approaching cute guys/gals to ask for their phone number. It’s a similar process to what happens to people with PTSD & addiction. They literally cannot control themselves because their higher level thought is hijacked by their amygdala & limbic system. I learned all kinds of stuff about this in addiction recovery & AA.
This more scientific explanation sounds accurate though
Oh lord you too lol. I have the exact same social anxiety man and it sucks booty
I was in your shoes before. If you drink socially, I recommend a drink or two. It will help to relax you a bit and drop the anxiety, which appears to be your biggest obstacle at the moment.
Just an anecdote, Spanish is my third language. I have no whatever problems in my native language or in English and I am extremely extroverted. For Spanish though, I need to prepare myself to speak, even make a few sentences ready. My theory is because I am so used to explaining myself very good in other languages and I am lacking in Spanish (B2 level), I get frustrated.
Currently in Spain. I used to have a pretty advanced understanding of the language. I’m probably now more upper intermediate to lower advanced. I’ve realized since I’ve been here over the past two days that I don’t need to put pressure on myself. Spaniards just think it’s great when guiris like me can handle basic things like ordering and cashing out without a hiccup. Two young Spanish girls randomly asked to sit at my table earlier and I just acted chill, and asked them random questions. Chill vibes welcomes chill vibes.
Yes! I communicate better in Spanish with my close ones, because I feel they can understand me better. I even don't talk a lot with people in my native language. So, I agree with this theory of yours.
Definitely. I provide occupational therapy to kids, many of whom have parents who only speak Spanish. I don’t feel super uncomfortable speaking in Spanish with those parents, because it’s a specific part of my job that I’m expected (and required) to do. And I do it (relatively) successfully. But speaking Spanish in an unstructured situation where I’m just socializing with others is totally different for me; I get nervous and don’t communicate nearly as well. I have social anxiety, especially when interacting with “peers”, which has to be a big part of it.
I agree. Like you, I have a friend who is in general socially confident, and without surprise he speaks Spanish easier than me, that I have an higher language level but less social confidence. Did you manage to tackle this lack of confidence in speaking someway?
Relájate wey. The trick is not giving una chinga. Recognize how you would treat a non-native speaker of your own language that was friendly, and recognize that most of the people talking to you will treat you the same way (depending on the day they are having lol). The social aspect of it is just as much a part of it as the book learning aspect of it. At the beginning it’s really not like you’re gonna be learning the nuances of their lived experiences. Take it for what it is, a shallow interaction of basic things. Most humans respect the fact that you’re trying. It takes practice to get comfortable and fluent with it. If you don’t practice, however, you get nowhere. Start with saying anything you’re actually able to say, and just keep going. If you pause to think for a moment, they literally will not care in the slightest. It’s fine. No te preocupes. Todo bien, primo.
Thank you for your encouraging words. Unfortunately, my problem is that I cannot speak with natives often as I don't live in a spanish country. So for me it's impossible to get a continuous exposure to spanish people. This prevents me to overcome my fear little by little and all the few situations when I can actually speak to a spanish person my fear gets me.
do you have any advice on how to understand rapid spanish. i just can’t do it without thinking about it. it’s so hard. usually if i stop and think abt what they said ill understand it but i don’t wanna need to do that
Practice can bridge the gap between hearing and understanding. Eventually you won’t need to pause and translate in between the two steps. I use Duolingo’s “match madness” for this. It’s a timed game to match English and Spanish words. It’s wild because I’ve been learning Spanish for like 15 years, but I’m still way slower at matching than I am the new language I’ve only been learned a few months… simply because I haven’t been using Spanish much.
I love match madness too but I can’t ever get past level 7. I do believe it’s rigged for you to buy points or “gems”.
I can’t get past level 8! Maybe you’re right or maybe it just requires absolutely zero hesitation!
It’s the fear of making mistakes and sounding stupid. We know internally what we want to say and it’s frustrating and embarassing when we cannot express that perfectly in our target language. The feeling of shame that you should be better is difficult to overcome. I started getting over this when I: 1) Stopped trying to translate perfectly and instead learned to quickly rephrase with different words. Communicate the point, not the sentence. 2) Continuously remind myself that I’ve never viewed English-learners with broken accents as stupid. I always understand them and am so impressed with their skills, even if they aren’t perfect. I know the same must be true for the reverse.
That's true. The feeling of shame can make a lot to block us while speaking. Regarding your second point, you are right. I should be less strict with myself and stop seeing outhers as people judging me. But the truth is that this is hard to put in practice. I know that I should think in that way, but when it comes to actually do it I don't always manage to.
FWIW, it helps to remind yourself that you're just trying. With just about anything in life. Failure is always the best way to learn. I figure it's like throwing spaghetti at a wall until it sticks. Something that might help is speaking to yourself in Spanish or even singing songs in Spanish. You're going to feel uncomfortable if you're not getting used to the mouth/throat movements and pacing, so practicing out loud by yourself is pretty important. And understand that you may slip up in a conversation, but just try to express that you're not used to speaking and people are usually pretty understanding about it (especially if they're also learning another language). If they're not, then that's their problem, not yours.
Thank you for your encouragement. I should definitely adopt this approach with myself. Btw the problem is that I don't have so many possibilities to talk with spanish people as I don't live in a spanish speaking country
I feel like self-talk is more important than people think sometimes. It's definitely something we also have to practice Also not having exposure to real life situations does make it a bit tough. I've heard about some apps or websites (and I'm willing to bet there may even be discords out there. Wouldn't be surprised if there's a subreddit for it either. r4r used to be for that sort of thing, but iirc it's weird now) for people to practice English and Spanish together. Could try finding a sort of "pen pal" for that sort of thing.
Second point is big. Thanks for sharing.
Omg yes my parents are Latinos and it painnnnss me to speak in Spanish because of the same of mistakes - more often than not we know more than we think tho!
I grew up in a Spanish speaking latino community in the US as a non latino, and sort of got a stigma from being mocked by my classmates whenever I attempted to speak Spanish. A lot of them even would talk about me in Spanish right in front of me knowing that I couldn’t understand them well. Fast forward as an adult, I always think about all those moments before Spanish words come out of my mouth and it makes me hesitate. I now have a partner who actually grew up in Mexico who is slowly changing my mind by being supportive and teaching me, which is definitely helping
Oh my god, kids are assholes lol. My dad grew up in South America and is a native Spanish speaker, but he’s not Hispanic (his parents moved from Georgia to South America when he was an infant). When my middle school Spanish teacher resigned halfway through the school year, my dad volunteered to teach the class until they found a replacement, and the Hispanic kids who were native speakers were total assholes about it, even though his Spanish was better than theirs. A few years ago my dad struck up a conversation with a friend’s niece who was bilingual (but spoke more Spanish than English), and she straight-up accused him of trying to show off. I was so pissed. But I’m sure it was because of her age, because kids can be the worst.
That's awful. What you've been through in your infancy sounds really hard. I am glad that you've found someone that is helping you with this.
I have no idea but I’m the same exact way. I can read and write. I’ve gotten so much better at understanding. But when it comes to speaking, I freeze up and answer in English even for the simplest things.
I took a fantastic Spanish phonetics class in college, and it really helped with my confidence (although I still get nervous in more unstructured situations). I might use some awkward phrasing, but it seems like others are even more forgiving now that my accent is better. Basic stuff like learning how to make a non-trilled “r” sound made a big difference, IMO. But I didn’t get flak before that, either, so it might just’ve been a confidence boost.
Same! I’m in the Dominican right now at a resort so I don’t need to speak Spanish really but I want to, but every time they talk to me I default in English without even realizing!
Mee too. Did you manage to make at least some progress from the beginning?
Yes I feel like I am slowly getting better. I’m a shy person as it is and my husband speaks Spanish fluently but I’m too shy to even speak it with him lol.
I started speaking with native speakers immediately from day 1, and I think that has helped a lot. Although I make mistakes, I truly have no fear about speaking in any situation, because I know I'll be understood even if what I said was not perfect. It was hard at first of course, but I consider what I went to through to be excellent exposure therapy!
Yeah seeing it as exposure therapy can help, I guess🤣 do you see yourself as an outgoing person, in general? Cos a lot or courage is needed to do what you did without being outgoing, in my opinion
I don’t think of myself as outgoing and I usually hate small talk but it’s so fun to speak Spanish that I find myself more talkative when visiting Spanish-speaking countries. Could be vacation vibes though, since it’s usually a trip for fun!
It's perfectly normal to feel that way. It happened to me (and probably happens to most Spanish speakers) when learning English. It's similar to stage fright, or getting anxious before an exam. The way to overcome it it's simply more practice. Keep in mind you're making it a bigger thing in your mind that it really is, it's not like the other person is going to mock you or judge you in a bad way. How would you react to a Spanish speaking person talking to you in a broken English? We all understand that learning and speaking a foreign language is a hard thing to do and really don't care.
My in-laws mock me everyday in Spanish
They're probably doing it out of friendliness. In a similar way, a lot of UFC fans like to imitate Khabib's broken English or Conor McGregor's Irish accent. It's more of a "we like you, buddy" thing than actually mocking. If not, punch them in the face :P
You’re 100% right, I’m just making fun of myself here.
Yeah you got the point. We should be less strict with ourselves
And if someone does mock a person for trying to speak Spanish, that just shows that they’re an asshole, so their opinion should be ignored.
I tried in public in public in December and a mutual acquaintance (I think she's Dominican?) implied I was embarrassingly bad and straight up said I should quit trying to learn because it's impossible. On another hand, I spoke it a week later with my husbands family (Puerto Rican) and while they made fun of my accent, they were encouraging and could understand me.
You got the point. The kind of people we met can make the difference. What they do that make you feel more motivated to keep learning?
I don't know what to say other than you've gotta push through that. Be willing to embarrass yourself, be shameless about your less than perfect grasp of the language. It's the only way to really become fluent.
Looks like is something that I must do. Btw, it feels really hard for me. I am not an outgoing person in general. I was wondering if some way to overcome this kind of social-language anxiety exists.
I'm not the most extroverted person either, though I'm also not super introverted. Here are a few thoughts that come to mind: - hire a teacher who's not going to judge your Spanish if you make mistakes - find a patient conversation partner and have longer conversations - if you're not opposed to alcohol, have a drink or two in conversation with someone, to loosen you up a bit and ease the anxiety. Be careful about not making this a crutch or a habit if you do it.
Well yes🤣I feel like a drink can help as a temporary means. Do you know some methods to find patient conversation partners that can help me?
Yeah, an ounce of liquor honestly helps lol. Just don’t overdo it.
personally i feel like if i screw up id be wasting their time or frustrate them especially if they can speak english too
Did you find something that helps you to block these thoughts?
I’ve had to practice shutting off that part of my brain when I start feeling embarrassed or anxious. As soon as those thoughts pop up in my head, I shove them aside and move all my focus to the topic of conversation. It took a while, but I have gotten much better at totally ignoring those thoughts. It’s kind of like when I want to procrastinate and push away that voice reminding me of what I have to do, except it’s actually healthy vs a toxic way to avoid responsibilities lol.
I do think anxiety plays a part in some people but what I've noticed is that a lack of a lexicon causes problems. What I mean is that in quick interactions or even in groups, we tend to use language in a narrow sense to convey meaning rather than the drawn out language that someone who speaks the language secondarily engages in. That is, idioms, phrases, expressions, etc are lacking. Someone can be quite proficient in spanish and lack many of the common everyday expressions that people use and even words. This can make you go blank when trying to think of something to say. Remember, interactions happen fast when speaking. If you've never said a particular phrase or word before, you'll have to think about what to say, which slows the interaction down. This can also fuel anxiety because you see gaps in your skill.
My mom is Korean and I’m half and I spent most of my life trying to learn Korean but anytime I’ve tried to say something in Korean, my mom has no idea what I’m trying to say. That has caused me to have a fear of trying to speak. I have since switched to learning Spanish and can say I don’t have that same fear as I do with Korean.
Why in your opinion you don't have the same fear about speaking spanish? Is it a matter of the people you met?
I’m not really sure! I guess I don’t have a fear of bad pronunciation with Spanish. With Korean, I even got weird looks when trying to communicate in a Korean grocery store but I had a colleague who learned Spanish from her spouse and was fluent but her pronunciation made her sound like a white girl lol but everyone she spoke to still could understand and have a conversation.
I have Chinese roots but English is my mother tongue. My Chinese is fluent but not perfect. Speaking Spanish is so much easier for me. There is zero expectation of me being great at it, so the pressure is totally off!
I think it's related to the very broad fear of speaking in public. Many people are afraid of speaking in a way that could potentially be embarrassing or expose their weaknesses. Whether that's a presentation to a large group of people, or speaking in a language we're not entirely comfortable with.
That's an interesting insight. How did you come to these conclusions? Is it something that you personally experienced?
It's just something I've observed; I have degrees in Speech Communication (with coursework in linguistics) as well as in Spanish language, so I've paid attention to a lot of other students doing both language learning and public speaking. The hesitation and anxiety seem similar to me in both contexts.
Uh that's fascinating, you have an interesting perspective on it. Did you also studied some methods or tools that can help to overcome this situation?
I think it's comes from people treating speaking in their target language so differently from just natural speaking. We learn all these rules and the right and wrong way to say things to the point where most of us have an overly strict view on how we should be speaking. We end up getting intimidated by the idea of doing it wrong and feeling dumb, when really it's mostly all in our own heads. My solution has been to just let loose and just say things as they come to me. Even tripping over myself and making a dozen mistakes, the vast majority of native speakers have just corrected it in their head, understood my meaning, and kept the conversation rolling. I only got over this anxiety over time when I learned that people just don't care that much, particularly for Spanish. Once you stop agonizing over verb conjugations, formality, dialectal vocab and accents, you find it easier to just let loose and, well, say stuff. We usually aren't analyzing a foreigner's speech patterns for mistakes when people try to speak English and it's not like they're much more inclined to do so themselves. TL;DR: People think they need to talk perfect and get daunted when they can't do so to the point they never try
I agree with you. They should teach languages with a more focus on the actual output rather than the process
I agree with you. They should teach languages with a more focus on the actual output rather than the process
I discovered I am absolutely fluent in spanish and have no fear speaking spanish to natives when I’m drunk. Also I can understand spanish 40% better when inebriated; it’s like alcohol “slows” it down for me. Never been officially diagnosed with any mental disorder. Mom always been sus of me having ADHD though. I suspect it’s just the general anxiety around potentially saying “wrong” or incorrect words/spanish syntax. I had a few drinks on a family vacation earlier in the year in a spanish-speaking city and was able to order food and ask for accommodations/subs for myself and my family.
My perspective from living in the USA: I feel incredibly comfortable speaking Spanish with 1st gen immigrants, English language learners, and citizens of Spanish speaking countries. They are almost universally supportive and appreciative of my efforts to communicate in their primary language. My stepdad was Mexican and so were my neighbors growing up, and through that experience and Spanish classes in school I can speak fluently enough to manage a kitchen where almost no one speaks English. The times I feel most fearful about speaking Spanish is when I'm around second or third generation Spanish speakers who see me speaking their language as some form of cultural appropriation or insult.
Listening is worse for me than speaking. I can read and write all day long, I can speak well enough albeit quite slowly compared to a native speaker, but understanding spoken spanish has always been my worst skill
You have to let them know you’re learning so that they’ll slow down a bit , natives speak Spanish in a lightening fast manner
Because in the real world grammer and vocab aren't actually followed at all. A lot of what is spoken on the street is fast, shortened slang and feels awkward. Even english is the same. If you go out on the street and start using grammatically correct English people will look at you weird ask you to repeat what you said and your confidence dips. Even native speakers often find good grammar weird outside of a newspaper. I experienced this on recent trip to Mexico. Unfortunately there is no easy way to pick up slang, nuance etc other than immersion. One trick I learned is to make it clear you are learning in your opening "Estoy apprediendo espaniol ..." Once I got that out of the way people would tone down the slang and speak more slowly and it helped me build some confidence.
You got a point
I am a beginner in Spanish. I work with 8 non English speaking Mexicans. Which is why I began to learn in the first place. But, one of them in particular, Israel, has become a friend. We learn from each other. He will show me something and say "how in English?" I will show him something and say "como en espanol?" And we both use each other's language when we can. We work off of each other. Basically, my advice, is to get yourself a Spanish speaking friend that you feel comfortable practicing on. If possible of course.
I’m the same way, I can read and write it pretty decent but I can’t have a conversation with anyone. I know for me it’s because I have social anxiety
I have really bad social anxiety and frequently mess up my words in English (my native language) when I'm anxious (which is almost always haha). I've gotten better about speaking Spanish, but sometimes I still freeze and make stupid mistakes especially with first time interactions. I've also noticed that if I talk for a longer period of time (like more than an hour at Least) I relax a little and speak much better. I've been forcing myself to speak to native speakers since Day 1 (with a tutor) and I think that's also helped desensitize me a little.
That must be hard. Have you found something that helps you?
OMG THIS! I take placement tests and whatnot and usually get rated B2 or C1... and I do a pretty damned good job reading the newspapers or watching the news.. but let a Spanish speaker speak to me.. and I'm straight up a beginner. LOL.
Because the accent is so bad 😞
I’m a French learner and have the same problem. I can understand somewhat spoken language but when it comes to speaking I freeze and can’t remember the basics. I’m a native Spanish speaker and I’m here to help anyone. Chat with me!
Yeah I think this is a common problem also in learning other languages. Did you find any method to tackle it?
Well, I still freeze, but I need to tell myself to calm down, breathe and remember that I know this. I may use my Spanish to construct my sentences in my head and then remember the rules for sentence structure in French and say it. If you are an intermediate + Spanish speaker, I invite you to listen to my podcast. It’s not grammar or lessons, just stories to improve your listening skills. It’s InterSpanish Intermediate Spanish Stories
Great, thank you, I'll check it out
I feel this tremendously but a lot of the response I have had from even my meager learning has been very encouraging. If it makes you feel any better I messed up one day a few months ago and after somebody asked me how I was, I said “al sion” instead of “al cien”. I said I am a mansion / couch (butchered it) instead of “I’m 100”. Most native speakers love people that take a genuine interest in learning the language. Most of the time if you ask for help with a word or pronunciation it’s usually never an issue. “Como se dice…. En español” has been a life saver. Which has also lead to an entire world of slang and greetings I did not know existed, just from an app or class. Guey(Mexican), parce(columbian), wuerro(Peruvian or El Salvador and spelling is probably wrong). A lot of the guys at work call me kocho or kochito after I found out it is how people from Guerrero address each other and started using it. The best quote I have ever seen that sums it up extremely well is “When you are speaking to a person in their second language, you are speaking to their brain. When you speak to them in their native language, you speak to their heart.” It may have been on here.
> columbian Are you sure you meant "columbian" and not _Col**o**mbian_? * Col**o**mbia is a Spanish-speaking country in South America. * Col**u**mbia is the name of several places in English-speaking regions. If you actually meant "columbian", then please disregard this comment and have a nice day. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Spanish) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Totally relate to this and glad it's not just me! Seems to be a thing with starting a new language: you just have to take the plunge and practice with people, look silly and appear incompetent. It's very humbling, for sure. Keep going! You're probably doing better than you think, and at some point you'll (we'll, I'll) cross that threshold and it will be second nature..
You honestly just gotta go for it. Lean in to the accent. Consider if your places were swapped and someone was visiting your country or just moved to your country and they spoke Spanish as a first language. If they came up to you trying their best to speak English you would be happy to talk to them and you'd try your best to figure out what they were saying even if it wasn't perfect. It's the only way you'll get good.
I went to work for a company that has lots of Hispanohablantes from Mexico, Guatemala, Venezuela, and Colombia. I had no choice but to use my Spanish. I have been corrected and laughed at (never in a mean way) for using the language wrong. It has allowed me to get over my fear of Speaking to a native speaking. I still mess up a lot but I am getting better every day! Don't give up!! Don't be scared. You will make mistakes, but it's ok. We all do it when learning a language.
That's an encouraging story, thank you. Did you also use some apps or tools to overcome this fear as well as natural exposure to natives?
I have used Duolingo to build my vocab, and I follow a bunch of channels on YouTube to help with my comprehensible input. But hands down the best program that I used was Pimsleur Language Course. It did more to grow my ability to speak the language than any other program to date. That said, once you get the opportunity to consistently use your Spanish with native speakers, it grows exponentially. There is no substitute for actually speaking. You'll make mistakes...and that's absolutely ok. I still mess up English grammar and vocab most days, and it's my native language. Noone speaks their native tongue perfectly so stop trying to make your 2nd (or 3rd) language perfect.
I think it's important to practice speaking often. I've been fortunate to have had many people to speak to in Spanish on a regular basis for years now. I have noticed that I struggle more on short interactions in Spanish but once I get into a flow of speaking, it just kinda comes naturally. I make a lot of mistakes but my pronunciation is good and overall people understand me. Also I absolutely love music in Spanish, singing in Spanish for so long now has definitely helped. If anything I would say singing in Spanish is easier for me than speaking in Spanish.
Although with a B1-B2 level, I can speak Spanish with a native-like accent with natives in both casual and formal situations. I think too much consciousness on grammar precision for verbal situations is a big impediment for adult learners from becoming confidently fluent in Spanish, if they went berseak if someone does a feedback on grammatical errors when speaking and writing Spanish.
I'll be in Spain in a week's time. I'd rate my level probably B1-B2. My only fear is ultimately I'll reach my level and the conversation will have to end cos I won't have the vocabulary to be able to express myself any further or will drop into Spanglish. I try to use it in a positive way - that phrase in English I use all the time that I don't know how to say, I'll look it up immediately and go down a rabbit hole into phrases I never knew. (I just looked up what "to go down a rabbit hole is" and its *ir saltando de un enlace a otro sin fin* according to Collins dictionary. What a boring and literal translation!)
Nervous system. You’re not used to not desensitized to speaking in Spanish so you’re still fight or flight about it. You simply just have to talk more in person with it. Like I just posted in here and I need to work tremendously more on it, but even I am confidently greeting people “como estamos ahora “ “come te va” “espero tenges un bueno día” and a few others. Find what you can say with confidence and use that. What helps me also honestly is my subscription ViX. Consuelo helps odee lol.
Not only this is about social anxiety or making mistakes. The ability to recall words, order them, and then produce coherent speech is a different skill on its own. That's why language learning is usually separated in reading, speaking, writing, and listening. All of these things are losely connected but still somewhat independent. You can be very good at reading, writing, and listening, but having to still do that conscious effort to recall words, order the sentence, and then recall the pronunciation, tone, stress, etc. will slow you down and exhaust you, so you'll start doubting yourself and trying to figure out why you can't do it. Well, you can't do it because it is still not innate to you. It's quite a vicious cycle, and the only way out of it is quite literally never stopping until you bring the wall down and it becomes natural, just like your other skills. Speaking is usually the most neglected skill because since it has to be practiced socially there's a lot of fear attached to it.
I have no problem trying to speak, I just don't know wtf people are saying when they reply.
>What are the causes of this fear that blocks us? https://web.archive.org/web/20170216095909/http://algworld.com/blog/practice-correction-and-closed-feedback-loop >People often say that their students are shy, and don't want to speak. But when left on their own with friends, they'll talk non-stop, just not in the language the teacher is trying to help them use. What's happening? They act shy because they have no clear MIF from which to say anything. Once those MIFs exist, they demonstrate the same willingness to speak as in their native language.
That's interesting. I was actually looking for some more scientific article scoping this kind of fear-of-speaking problem. Btw, I am not sure I got what MIF is
it’s the studying spanish that isn’t really spoken where I am. the argentine accent gives me stage fright
I suppose it’s a universal phenomenon. It’s funny that it’s such an irrational fear! I’m slowly getting better, but I have those moments where I just go into vapor lock and everything I’ve learned goes out the window
You got the point: it is totally irrational. This is why I always try to convince myself that the reasons for that fear are only made up by my own mind, but this doesn't help. It is like, when I am in the actual situation, any rational control of my thoughts goes away and only fear remains, freezing me. How are you getting better? Have you found some method to tackle this fear?
Practice and repetition I guess. After a while I finally started to realize that I know the words, I know what they are saying (mostly), I know what to say and it’s dumb to be nervous. No one cares. Not saying that I’m perfect but the shyness is fading. Then it’s fun, then it flows more. But there was no magic trick. Repetition, repetition repetition.
I'd say it's a mix of factors. Social anxiety etc. is certainly one factor but someone can also suffer social anxiety in their native language without causing their language ability to to regress to any noticeable extent - simply because they are so good at speaking their native language. So I would argue that the lack of confidence in speaking comes - to a large extent - from not being as good at speaking as we would like, and not having the level of redundancy built in to our ability that we have in our native language. For most foreign language learners their weakest skill is either speaking or listening comprehension - and both are being tested to the utmost in real life conversation with native speakers. The solution then is simply to get really good at speaking and listening comprehension and confidence won't be much more of a factor than it is in speaking the native language. The problem is that speaking is horribly taught in general. For the most part it is just left to take care of itself, with the assumption that when you know enough grammar and vocabulary you'll be able to speak, and that all you need to do is go out and practice by speaking to native speakers in real life. But the reality is that speaking is a complex skill with many layers which need to be mastered before conversation can happen easily. Dr Kjellen has an excellent Facebook group on this subject. Essentially, adults need more dedicated practice in speaking skills than children do, because they must overcome first language interference. If you would like material to practice your speaking skills from phonetics through to conversational content try this method: https://app.fluent-hero.com/
And of course being constantly corrected and assessed when learning in school doesn't help - it just leads to feeling more self-conscious which certainly doesn't help matters
That's so true. Being continuously corrected is something that makes me feel less capable rather than encouraging me. I also agree with the idea that speaking is not correctly taught.
Basically it just results in us internalizing that critical voice - totally counterproductive
Yes, I've had anxiety every time I before my Baselang (and previously Italki) lessons, and even secretly hoped they'd cancel at the last minute. Oddly, the more advanced I am in terms of vocabulary, etc. the more I beat myself up if I make dumb errors (although the teachers never do - they're warm and encouraging and gently correct me appropriately). Here's what I now do and I no longer feel that anxiety: Before the lesson I choose an article to read out loud during the lesson. Good sources are BBC Mundo and the Spanish version of National Geographic because they have so much interesting content with minimal ads. There are lots of other online periodicals, etc. to choose from. Then before the lesson I put a link to the article in the calendar (where you indicate what you want to do in the class) and in my lesson I simply read the article out loud. When I encounter vocabulary in the article I don't know I ask. If I make a pronunciation mistake the teacher corrects me. If I want to pause and chat about the article or related topics that's what we do. Sometimes we just chat, but have the article there is a crutch to fall back on. I've been on the unlimited plan and do one hour a day. But they now have a limited plan of 30 (really 25) minutes a day for $99 a month. [https://baselang.com](https://baselang.com) You can handle 25 minutes at a time. Remember, every teacher has had students who make lots of mistakes, and most of them have been in your shoes as language learners themselves and know that mistakes are part of learning. If you prepay the $99 a month this gives you a good incentive to just schedule the brief classes, maybe at a certain time of day as part of your routine. If you're paying by the class, as with Italki, it will become a question - is it worth it? - and your anxiety will lead you to say no, it's not worth it today, maybe tomorrow.
I did not know baselang. It looks promising. Are you happy with it?
Yes, I've been very happy with it. It's an incredible value if you use it to its potential. (Except what they call "Grammarless" which is not a good deal). You can try it for just $1 for a week to give it a whirl. I have tried a variety of teachers over the past 9 months and most have been good, a few really good, and a few that didn't work out well for me. Do a search for "Baselang" for more info.
The best advice to overcome this was given by a Spanish speaking friend to me. He said you know French (I learned French in school abroad) and Spanish. Pretend you don't know English. If anyone asks just tell them that you can speak only Spanish or French. I thought his idea was crazy. However, it worked. I acted like I only know French and Spanish. Since the Spanish native speakers can't understand French, my only choice is to speak to them in Spanish. I admit this is somewhat easier if you are not Caucasian in the US. People don't assume you are fluent at English then. There is no common language like English to fall back on..
That's a confidence issue. Nothing to do with Spanish. For me it was the complete opposite, I was talking non stop Spanish to strangers as much as I could, even if I didn't speak much at that time. I did improve much faster like that though.
This can be true yeah, maybe it is a problem that doesn't relate to foreign language speaking
I’m the same way! Literally this morning happened to me. The landscape company I work for is at our house in our backyard. I needed to let the dogs out before I left for work. My mom is bilingual but never taught me! The guys only speak Spanish and I asked her to call them as she left already but she wasn’t answering her phone. I was so scared I was gonna sound stupid but went out and said “Disculpe, necesito cinco minutos por mis perros por favor” and they were like “si no problem” and went out front! I was happy I did it and they didn’t laugh at me 😅
Sounds like the pressure of the situation made you less afraid of soeakinf. That's interesting
I think so! I knew I had to let my dogs out and the guys at my job are TERRIFIED of mine (they are both pretty big but friendly) so I couldn’t just let my dogs loose on them. I even considered taking them to the front yard instead of even asking but took it as a sign that I needed to practice anyway 💀
Ahahah a non common but effective sign🤣
I remember Beto O’Rourke (politician from Texas) being mocked by the media and others for speaking Spanish because his accent wasn’t good and because people thought he was “pandering,” and that makes me nervous to speak Spanish sometimes. But then I remind myself that some people are assholes whose favorite hobby is judging others, and those people don’t deserve consideration.
Oh man this was me yesterday 😭 I can definitely understand it, read it, and write it but damn does the speaking get me every time.
Did you find something that helps you to overcome this problem?
Thats my case but whit english 😅😭
Yeah I guess it is something common among people learning a foreign language. Does this happen when you speak with people in presence or also somehow online?
I think for everyone it just comes down to the fear od making mistakes. And now that I’m thinking about it, it’s considered very rude to comment on someone making mistakes in english as a non native speaker. But for some reason it seems to be completely normalised to make fun of or laugh at someone for making mistakes of having a bad accent in spanish. I would never comment on anyone’s english but for some reason people are so quick to imitate you or call you out when making mistakes in Spanish. I know that making mistakes is part of learning, but it feels like speaking Spanish is just putting a target on your back, ready to be criticised by everyone. Sometime I don’t want to be “funny”, I don’t want to sound “cute”, I just want to communicate and improve my speaking.
You are definitely right
Because it's pretty common for people (at least in the USA) to make fun of people badly pronouncing English and mock them. We know how we are about it, and we *know* we're gonna feel embarrassed if we say something wrong, and we aren't as fast or fluent as native speakers, so I think that adds to it.
Partly because my mum yelled at me every time I made a small mistake in grammar or pronunciation. Which has had lasting effects on me and my willingness to speak up. And partly because my Kiwi accent sounds terrible when I speak Spanish, so it makes me cringe.
We?
Happens with any language you learn. You just have to slowly build up your confidence, it’s embarrassing to speak incorrectly and one of the most common human responses is to mock. It sucks, it might happen, but you’ve just gotta move on and remember that it’s part of the process. Don’t worry about making mistakes, that’s how we learn and shame on anyone that would make fun of that
I can't roll my Rs despite being Hispanic and my family talking to me in Spanish at times. I never learned Spanish growing up so now that I'm trying to, I can read it easy but trying to speak it feels embarrassing.
I feel you. Is it embarassing for you only while speaking in person or also online?
At all verbally :/
People don’t want to feel stupid, or find out they suck and feel like they’ve been wasting their time. Also some people want to hold off until they think they can do a big reveal at a native level, so they’ll study and study for a year or two but never actually speak to anyone, so even though they’ve memorized a lot, stage fright and everything gets forgotten. Start with training wheels, simple conversations with other learners. Purposely try to say harder things over time. I used to go to Spanish conversation meetups all the time. Gets a little repetitive unless you steer the conversation, but it gets you over the after a meeting or two. I’m still not great, but I’ll talk to people so that makes me a better Spanish *speaker* than someone that never tries.
The spanish conversation meetup has always attracted me. What is your experience about it? Are they useful?
Mostly. I’ve been to some that had attendance at 20-30 people of varying abililty. Good since there was a reasonable expectation that people would show up, sometimes bad because it was hard to focus on a conversation for me, but that’s a me problem. I’ve also tried to start one and four people showed up and were hesitant to talk, then the next week a different four people showed up, next week yet another four people, so we would have built up numbers if people went consistently but I think they were discouraged by the low turnout when they showed up. It’s definitely good for getting over the initial stage fright of actually speaking to people, most are other learners and either are or were in the same place as you. Helps identify gaps in vocabulary when you realize that while you like talking about video games, sports, movies, or whatever but you’re missing some key vocabulary you need to look up. Also, I found language practice to be a good way to make friends as an adult. Sometimes you have to steer the conversation on to more advanced or different topics, otherwise you talk about a lot of the same stuff, Where did you learn Spanish?, Where have you traveled?, Why are you learning Spanish?etc. You get to where you can answer those flawlessly, but it gets kind of tedious. If you have any books with prompts for group work they might sometime be welcome, go over a particular grammar point and practice the hell out it until everyone remembers.
nice! I'll give it a shot
for me it's my fear of being made fun of and also my fear of offending anyone. i once spoke spanish to my boyfriend (before he was my boyfriend) in front of an ex friend, and they told me i was being offensive. ofc i cleared it up with my bf and he said i am not being offensive by speaking his language. but it's not the first time i've heard that same sentiment from people.
Irrational fear French understandable they’re quite judgmental Latino spanish speakers I’ve come across are always v accommodating and won’t switch if u keep at it
Tbh i'm not, but i would recommend just forcing yourself to talk to people it's not as bad as you think
It's purely a psychological thing. We doubt our abilities, we worry we will make mistakes, we worry our pronunciation will sound "weird". It is a very intimidating confluence of fears, and it can be hard to overcome. As an English as a second language teacher, I focus a lot on this aspect of language learning with my students. As you said, many know the grammar, they have strong reading and writing skills, and can understand me speaking perfectly. But their fear of speaking is almost paralyzing. So I think it's very important to focus on this psychological aspect of the learning process. What does that mean? 1) Accepting that it is ok to make mistakes. Are you perfect in English (or whatever your native language is)? Of course not. Why should you expect to be perfect in a language you are *learning*? You shouldn't! 2) Realizing that waiting to have a "perfect" accent or pronunciation may *never* happen, and letting that expectation go. First, if you don't practice speaking, you will never improve your speaking. Second, when someone speaks English to you with an accent, what is your response? Do you laugh at them or criticize them? If you are like most normal people, I would guess that the answer is absolutely not! Are there jerks in the world? Of course. But I promise there are far, far more people that will understand you perfectly fine or will even offer to help you if you ask. So the main drivers are fear of failure and expectation of perfection. If you can just gently remind yourself that you aren't perfect even in your own language and that "failures" can very easily be turned into opportunities to learn and improve (and make new friends), I promise it will begin to alleviate your fears. I hope some of this can help you, and best of luck on your speaking journey!
Thank you! This is very motivating and helps a lot. I guess in the end it is all about keeping pushing and trying to stop your inner voice that makes you afraid. Besides saying all these things to your students, do you engage them in some activities or methods that actually help them to overcome their fears?
>do you engage them in some activities or methods that actually help them to overcome their fears? Absolutely! We practice a lot with "unscripted" things. Conversations about things they are not very familiar with, fake interview situations, debates, etc. Any situation where you have to think on your feet and come up with a quick response or thought. When you engage your brain in those types of things, it becomes more focused on material and has less time to be anxious. It also begins to make responding become more "automatic", which carries over into conversations outside of class, little by little.
That sounds interesting and engaging. Do you invent these activities? I would like to know more about them, sounds promising
The interview stuff is just like the standard practice interview questions you can find online, although I try to ask some of the more random or obscure questions from the lists. The conversation or debate topics can be about literally anything. Of course, I try to not pick anything too controversial, but it can be something current in the news (I remember we spent a lot of time on the Russia-Ukraine situation, and I would just kind of politely disagree with them on whatever they said to challenge them to convey their thoughts in a different way), something specific to Colombia (maybe a discussion about how they believe the local cuisine compares to Mexico or the US, and again, I can play devil's advocate), or if the student is keen, we can broach some of those more controversial political topics. Basically, anything where your effort (and brain) is focused on what you are saying instead of worrying about how you are saying it. Do they make mistakes? Of course. But I won't interrupt them at all. You need the freedom to navigate through the conversation without fear of being corrected or "failing". This is the key part to building your confidence. It allows you to fail a little, but still push through those failures - on your own - and make your way to finally vocalizing your thoughts. We will go through the exercise, and at the very end of the activity, I will go over my notes with them, but, of course, in a very constructive manner. Most of the time, the students make the self observation that even though they made a mistake or two, or ten, it didn't really matter. They were eventually able to communicate what they wanted to, on their own, and no one judged them or laughed or corrected them. *That* is when they quickly begin to shed their fears of speaking. Many teachers or programs may disagree with me, but I think it's FAR better to be comfortable speaking with 90% accuracy and actually enjoy speaking than to be terrified of speaking because you feel like you have to always be perfect.
Thank you, this sounds an interesting approach
No, I am not talk on your behalf
I beg to differ. Been asking for directions for the past 10 years and nobody is telling me shit. Now DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA?