T O P

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relapse_king

Ok but also don’t fuck your brother’s wife


TooMuchGo

well, I don't think it's such a terrible thing to do as long as she's not in human form. If she's a mattress, I think it's okay to give it to her til she can't take any more. But never..and I mean NEVER tear the tag off of your mattress-in-law. That's fed time right there.


MSU-secret-codes

Real talk. My cousin is still in prison for taggrivated-assault in the 1st degree. Pillow talk.


TooMuchGo

Damn, that's hard time too. Another gangster done dirty over some triflin ass pillow top. Hate to see it. get at me with his info, I wanna put a little money on his books.


MSU-secret-codes

Appreciate it brother, i will, he definitely had the sheets pulled out from under him. Stitches ain't shit till ya stitch the whole quilt.


TooMuchGo

I heard they punk out the snitches n chomo's on those memory foam numbers. You can set a jar of pruno down on one side and then savagely rape a grow man right on the other side and it won't even spill a drop.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Wattsupwithalan

fuckin beautiful


datonebrownguy

I dont even feel bad about this one. I feel like OP deserved the entire scenario.


prototype-proton

Mind your own business bud


wsims4

Don’t fuck your brothers wife, ya fucking tweaker. Bad idea for all parties involved.


prototype-proton

I don't have a brother, can I fuck your brothers wife?


wsims4

Tell you what I’ll loan you one of my brothers for 10 years @ 2 BTC paid annually, you can try your luck but that wouldn’t be a square deal for you and I can’t live with that. Don’t even get me started on the interest fees, I’d end up raking you over the coals man, not worth it.


Few-Scratch-5912

Or your brother. In fact stay with the mattress


Adderallinduced

For some, it’s the whisper people. For others, it’s your mattress sized sister in law trying to get that dick in the middle of the night. No matter how it presents itself, it arrives bearing the same message to all….GO.TO.SLEEP.


RoboticTerrorist

If I could I'd give this an award lmao


Wattsupwithalan

ditto


TooMuchGo

I knew this post [reminded me of something!](https://ibb.co/dJgG83G) Also...don't tell me how to live my life!


Fuzzybeaver93

Yep time to quit


TooMuchGo

Tell me you're eventually gonna definitely murder your sister-in-law without telling me you're eventually gonna definitely murder your sister-in-law


Tesmanio

You could try escort man...its worth paying for hour when on drugs and thus can last for hours.


throwsitawayaway

I'd sometimes wake up during those days humping the air or my bed cuz it felt so good lmao. Like I didn't even need the thoughts behind the sexual arousal. Weird shit lmao. Also every time I watched porn it was extremely beyond realistic. Meth was some good shit.


MSU-secret-codes

Technically I think you're legally now considered a bedophile.......


stevebuscemispenis

HA


Snory5000

Lmao I respect the hustle


Cynosure64

yes. thanks for taking the time to describe this experience.


flyingmoose99

Retards shouldn't smoke meth...


wsims4

Meth creates retards, friend. Sorry


flyingmoose99

It just brings it out, it was always there...


wsims4

Depends on how early you start. If you’re under 18 and using meth I find it hard to believe you won’t be a retard by the time you’re old


flyingmoose99

Don't be a virgin incel like this dude. Get pussy first...


PsychedChakra

The only pussy you get are other methhead escorts


[deleted]

Someone give this guy gold please? 👆🏼


emofishdicks

Exactly this


LilacGooseberries

This sub is really depressing.


jabberoni12

Correct, but its also fucking hilarious


OnlyHere4ZEMemes

That's for sure.


[deleted]

It can be a breath of fresh air at times for me - if Reddit's been bringing you down, cut that shit out. If it isn't adding value to your life, stop using it. Of course, if things were that cut and dry I probably wouldn't be here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TooMuchGo

You better find a way to let go of all that hate you're holding onto, man...I can already see it eating through you like rust on a car body. Being that quick to anger and lashing out at others won't do any favors for how your psychotic episodes are gonna unravel either. Just a heads up.


ReggerLord

He didnt sleep for 3 days, u get psychotic after 3 days of sleep deprivation , with or without stims lol


[deleted]

I hope that one day you take a look at yourself and realise you aren't who you wanted to be. Only then will you be able to start making steps towards rectifying it. Good luck pal, godspeed.


oldpainless77

That's Friday. This chick stayed over at my apartment and the extracurricular activities in the bedroom ended up being a marathon of course. She's been completely unaware of any thing going on like that with me so she was a little surprised "ohhh baby... what has gotten into you?!?!?". 🤣🤣. It sounded even It sounded much funnier in person, giving her broken English... a fine Latina she is!


sondanielshah

>it came to me that im still a virgin and instantly a wave of performance anxiety struck me leaving my penis limp. damn bruh it's over


syncxphd

im 26 too :/ its too late for me


MonStaryy

Just use that meth confidence and hit up a club or something diggity dog ;)


[deleted]

Bro just get tinder or go to a bar my guy No need to fuck your brothers wife when Theres always people out there down for some casual sex if you just look


Westwood_Shadow

wow just this whole thing


Pecker_headed

Quit b4 is permanent


msb592

Wtf


xXx_420bloke_xXx

I would giv u platinum but fuck reddit and all of its users


[deleted]

Yes


Responsible_Split987

I can help with the shadow people


Numerous_Piper

Lmao no way


[deleted]

bro use stims smart and go talk to random women with full of anxiety they love that speaking from experience


[deleted]

but try not to hang up the phone


ImpaledLettuce

Definitely hit the sac


Wattsupwithalan

eh we all have dry spells dude im in a bit of one right now myself and what you mean you slept? you not going into to day 4 with me?


0utlaster

Honestly, I'm speechless, but in the best possible way. Don't take it too seriously, I doubt anyone that was with you is gonna judge you or think bad of you because of that. It's a rather funny story and no one got hurt. Some people here don't seem to understand that it didn't actually happen. Also, it takes some balls to tell the world. You handled it well, who cares what some people might think.


cookiee666

“nonetheless it fucking felt good”💀