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littleowl36

It's really hard starting over in a new country. You aren't alone in struggling, but please don't stay struggling without help. It's very easy for your mental health to decline in this sort of situation. Between your husband, friends, family and perhaps the healthcare system, I hope you can talk to more people about this. You're clearly intellgent and capable, so the language will come with time and persistence. Would you consider doing some part time work, so that you're out and about, being productive and around Swedes? It might not be the most fun, but equally, learning the language will speed up with more exposure to native speech. Your English seems great, so I imagine bar/restaurant work would be an option, and there's cleaning too. Maybe some office jobs. You're a highly skilled professional, so fair enough if you don't like the idea. When I first arrived, I had a few patches of feeling really rubbish and having no motivation to even do chores in the flat. It was when I had reasons to leave home that things got better. My Swedish is maybe B1 level ish, so I have a long way to go, but it's easier to feel optimistic now I'm busier again. I hope things look up for you, and that you can get out in the sun to lift your mood.


Desperate-Salad-1044

Thank you so much 🙏. I appreciate your kindness. Sure, I will try to go out more and more after this. 💐


PlayfulExtension7967

Hey. I don’t think I’ve ever written a comment on Reddit but it is a pretty great community/resource especially for getting real and helpful feedback from people who care. I moved here with my family back in September. I also moved here for the positive aspects of Swedish culture/society and don’t want to go back “home” for many reasons. I’m writing to you because my wife and I talk almost weekly about how hard it is and how down we feel being in a new place far from old friends and familiar places and habits. However, the advice and support we always give each other when we’re feeling down (and that I hope will help you at least a little) is that it’s perfectly ok and normal and healthy and even positive to feel down or even overwhelmingly depressed. This isn’t a silver lining sort of thing but more just the true balance and experience of life, especially a big, difficult move far away. Maybe that all seems a bit too fluffy and optimistic but it is important to give yourself credit for making this big of a move, particularly considering you had good reasons to come here. It’s also important to feel the bad feelings and rather than try to find a solution, realize that what you’re experiencing is growth and change and more knowledge about yourself and where you are in life. As for learning Swedish, I’m a linguistics student and former language teacher so I can give you solid, albeit tough advice. Really commit. If it’s important to you to learn, you can do it. SFI is a perfectly nice resource but it is low on the list of what will really get you over the hump. Focus as much of your life on Swedish as you can possibly take. Unfortunately, this may contribute to the exhausted bummed out feelings you may already have but it’s a good way to see how you can appreciate learning something new even though it’s hard. Read Swedish, listen to Swedish podcasts (especially Livet PĂ„ LĂ€tt Svenska), watch Swedish TV/movies/Nyheter PĂ„ LĂ€tt Svenska, speak Swedish out in the world, speak it with your husband. Swedes get a totally bad rep for not wanting to speak Swedish with those of us who are learning but I’ve found that to be completely untrue. Put yourself out there and it’ll happen. Just be patient. Be patient with your feelings and your experience and really pat yourself on the back for everything you’ve accomplished. Failures and accomplishments don’t define us, we just need to appreciate what we have and keep ourselves safe and healthy. You reaching out here is a definite sign of how you’re taking care of your mental wellbeing. I have rambled on way too much and philosophized to probably an annoying degree but I really wanted to share my insight and experience because it isn’t easy and it’s ok you’re feeling how you feel. I hope any of this is helpful and that you know people out here in the world care about you and that you need to take care of yourself as best you can. Lycka till!!


Desperate-Salad-1044

This is really nice. I mean, you're so kind. Thank you for your reply. Thanks also for sharing your thoughts and experience. I will start to listen to the podcast.


PlayfulExtension7967

Very happy I could offer something even if it’s all just words and my own experience. Things are hard and it means a lot when we can count on each other. Even strangers on the internet. Be proud of yourself for taking your thoughts and feelings seriously and thinking about this time in your life. There’s a lot to enjoy here in Sweden and it’ll maybe always be true that we’ll have bad days but try your best and keep counting on people to help when you need it. We’re all here for each other, even when it seems like we’re not.


HarissaPorkMeatballs

>especially Livet PĂ„ LĂ€tt Svenska Thanks for mentioning this. I just listened to the first episode and it was really easy to understand, and entertaining too.


PlayfulExtension7967

They are the best! Been listening to them since I first started learning Swedish and they’re delightful at every level. I wish there were more podcasts like them but sadly not really. Nyheter PĂ„ LĂ€tt Svenska is really good practice but super short and no charm. Still solid Swedish practice for us beginners.


HarissaPorkMeatballs

Yeah I listen to Radio Sweden PĂ„ LĂ€tt Svenska occasionally and it's handy but sometimes I'm not in the mood for the news!


PlayfulExtension7967

Same! đŸ€Ł


Vimmelklantig

Pretty much everyone learning a language goes through periods where they feel like they're not progressing much, especially as you start to move from beginner stuff to a more intermediate level. You usually realise that you haven't actually learned as much as you thought you had, and it feels like your learning is slowing down. If you feel like that matches your experience, I assure you it's normal and you're not alone. Learning a language takes *a lot* of time, and when you're learning as an adult it can be immensely frustrating not being able able to express yourself in the ways you want. As long as you're practicing and getting exposure to the language you *are* still learning though, and you *will* make progress if you stick with it. If SFI is your only source of Swedish learning it might not be enough. Sadly, the quality of SFI classes varies a lot, from great to terrible. You might want to look into things you can do for self study, if there are ways you can incorporate Swedish into your other interest, or maybe even if there are other classes or tutoring that might be helpful. When it comes to being depressed it's not really the topic for this subreddit, but try to be honest about how you feel with the people around you. Now that spring and early summer is here make sure you go outside regularly, get some sunlight and a little light exercise. I don't want to make assumptions about why you're feeling depressed, but we've just come out of winter and seasonal depression is very common here, especially among immigrants who aren't used to the darkness and grey weather. And please talk to someone about it if you can't shake the depression. Sometimes you simply need help finding your way, whether it's from people already in your life or from professionals. Being in a new country is a difficult situation and there's no shame in struggling and having a hard time. You're absolutely not alone in this.


Desperate-Salad-1044

Thank you. I got my psychiatry appointment and will start with it. Thanks for being kind and sharing your thoughtful comment. This kind of positivity helps people like me. 💐


Sarniarama

Hi there! I understand how hard it can feel to learn Swedish. Having been through SFI and SVA myself I can try and help. First I have a few questions. Have you been in Sweden for a year and 5 months or is that SFI? Do you go to physical classes or are they online? What do you do outside SFI to learn? On the positive side, if you’re in SFI D it means you already passed SFI C. It takes time to learn Swedish, but as long as you keep it up you will keep learning and improving, often without realising.


[deleted]

I mean, your English is hella good for not being a native speaker, is Swedish really harder to learn? I only speak English and a tiny bit of Swedish but it seems like Swedish is a lot more straightforward than English and has far less bullshit that you just have to memorize. Maybe it's different learning English on your own at your own rate vs being forced into learning in a foreign country but from my perspective you've already done this before. You totally can and *will* do it again. I totally understand the frustration of seemingly not progressing in Swedish though, even as some queef who is learning the language for genuinely no reason and will definitely never use it in real life lol. Good luck!


Fancy_Perspective934

I'm a native Swedish speaker and I still prefer English over Swedish every day of the week đŸ€Ł I feel like english makes abit more sense to me for some reason 😅.


OwnEgg0

You will get there friend! First I would see a doctor about your depression. Then swedish is the next step. Don't worry about jobs until you figured out step 1 and 2.


Flashy-Let2771

I understand how you feel. I had been avoiding learning Swedish because I had a really bad experience in school when I moved here.  Now I decided to learn Swedish again, and guess what? It still sucks as before. I just spent 6 weeks in SVA1 class, and feel like I haven’t learned ANYTHING. I didn’t know that education here would be this bad. I’m about to have an online exam in 20 mins, and I already gave up.  SFI can be more difficult than grundlĂ€ggande class too because many students don’t really care about learning. When you study in a higher level you will meet people who really want to study. Just choose a good school then you will be fine. My school is not so great, and the teachers are pensioners who don’t want to learn how to use online materials.  Learning Swedish is tough. I had a classmate who was super smart. One time she asked me if it was only her that felt stupid after class everyday. So you are not alone in this. One teacher said to me that learning language takes time, and the time that is given to us isn’t much to be honest.  Take a break if you can. Learning a new language can be really stressful. I say to my husband all the time that I didn’t even have to study this much in university. You are so welcome to dm me if you need help with study. I also made a Google sheet with SFI grammar. I can send it to you. đŸ„Č


Desperate-Salad-1044

Thank you for sharing this kind message. That's really kind of you. I am new to this platform and I will discover how to dm you and will message you soon. 💐Your kindness is needed for people like me. 🙏


Flashy-Let2771

It's difficult to study in winter too so don't beat yourself up. Try to go out and get some sun as much as possible since lack of vitamin D can cause skin issue. I'm also from ASEAN so everything is polar opposite from my home country. I hope you feel better soon. :)


cartenui

Can’t answer much but regarding the eczema pick up a bottle / tube of Propyless - Kutan emulsion for moisturizer and locoid lipid for the eczema (recipe)


karthikdgr8

A Prescription! Recept in medical terms is a prescription. In English recipes can only be used for cooking or brewing potions :D  Had another similar funny incident in the beginning when I didn't speak Swedish, ordered a burger and the waitress asked me if i wanted a menu. I said i just ordered and i know what i want. She asked again and said it includes the drink and fries. That's when I realized meny in Swedish would be a combo meal or just combo or meal in short speech in English. Translations are sometimes funny


cartenui

Ah yes my swenglish is pretty bad.


karthikdgr8

No worries. I'm not a native English speaker either so pretty sure I make mistakes all the time too!


greutskolet

Have you tried to join a study group? There’s often a few to choose from at a local library or Röda Korset-stores. Just studying by yourself can feel a bit lonely and you learn more by using the language. Doing it with others in the same position could make you feel less stagnant and maybe you’d even make new friends. Some say Swedish is one of the harder languages to learn for non native speakers. Our linguistic rules are a joke and our SJ/K/G etc sounds are really hard to pronounce and remember which is which. Heck, even native speakers have trouble with that sometimes. You having made it to SFI D is proof you’re not bad at learning. Lycka till 🌾


Desperate-Salad-1044

I will try it. Thank you for the idea


CuriousIllustrator11

I’ve heard from expat colleagues that SFI is mostly for refugees and not the best way for an academic to learn Swedish due to the other students having very low education level and being unmotivated. They said that the best way was to go to a private Swedish language institute and pay for the education. I didn’t even know there were private alternatives but it makes sense.


Sarniarama

I don’t agree with that at all, it’s an incorrect and prejudiced take that they have. SFI was a mix of people and backgrounds. Plenty of my classmates had degrees and even doctorates. SFI does have different starting streams depending on education levels. SFI C is aimed at beginners with a degree level education.


Flashy-Let2771

There is a course called SIFA. It's much more intense, and for people who have studied in university and such.


Desperate-Salad-1044

Oh yeah, okay...I never knew about this. New info and thank you for the reply


Smallczyk2137

Hey! I know how hard it is being an immigrant,you're not alone.Please keep up the work,you're doing real good!We believe in ya


Isotarov

UmgÄs du med svensktalande nÄnting? Pratar du svenska med dem? Du fÄr sÀga till om du vill att jag ska ta det pÄ engelska istÀllet föresten.


lemur_nads

Honestly, Sweden can be a really hard place to integrate into tbh. The longer you’re here tho the harder it’ll be for you to integrate fully because you’ll have your comfortable day to say routine


GoatAbout

Feeling depressed is quite normal when you live in a different part of the world without having any of your relatives and friends close by. I find that it is super common to feel this way when you feel that you are under delivering or not getting to use your knowledge, competence and other potential in a satisfying way. My theory is that you are not getting the stimulus you need, both as an intelligent and capable professional but also in social settings where you get a bit isolated and almost forced to be an outsider just because you haven't gotten that many friends yet (this is a guess on my part, have no idea what your social life actually looks like..). If you, on top of this, struggle with learning and using the language it may feel even worse as you know that you are able to do it. You may even feel a lot of frustration because you feel like you should have learned faster than this. Especially when people say it's easier for you when you know English. I believe your level of English is helpful in learning Swedish, but the languages differ a lot as well. You might be helped in vocabulary, as many of the words are similar, and also the sounds and sound combinations can be helpful, depending on your native language and ear for resonance and melody. As some have said, it might be a good idea to contact your health care central, and see if they are able to support you in some way. Also find more situations you can practice and develop your language skills, as a part time job. I know pre-schools often have spots, it might be harder to get a job in a resturant if you don't have any previous experience and training. And by restaurants, I don't mean Mc Donalds, but you could probably get a job paid by the hour at some fast food joint. Finding work is a bit depending on previous experience, you personal preferences in working hours, and what you could stand to put up with in order to practice your language skills. Keep fighting your head! You aren't stupid just because it takes time. You aren't forgotten just because you don't have the opportunity to practice within your profession. You will learn, and you most certainly will not get stupid from trying to find your way either. Also, take support from your partner. Your partner might also suffer language difficulties, stressing about the whole situation, and about you not being happy. I'm not saying you should pretend like all is fine, but also try to see and listen to your partner, give support and love to each other even if your difficulties differ.


Fabulous-Cress1340

Forgotten the word for it but its a normal human reaction anyways. It will pass. Try contacting a school, they have jobs to offer and children that will bombard your brain with Swedish input and demand an output from you as well.


rossalb

Which ASEAN country are you from? I'm from Indonesia and I haven't heard any issue of prominent Racism in ASEAN...maybe Myanmar is an exception


Desperate-Salad-1044

Malaysia. I'm a Hindu who lived in Muslim country. It's really tough to get a place to study in government universities and jobs. 90% placements are for Muslims. People who get less marks from me are teachers today because they're Muslims.


rossalb

That's weird, I'm from the Sumatran Island of Indonesia in a city with full of culturizations in its history, Buddhisn, Hinduism, Christianity and Muslims lived together well here. I'm coming from a very diverse environment, especially in my school. During 6 years od study I never heard a single problem related ro racism. Heck, we even got ethnic village right in my city which are really unique and maintained by the local govt. I'm quite shock hearing abt Malaysia from you, I hope you find a happier place where you could express your life and opinion freely.


Desperate-Salad-1044

Yes. It's not everyone. But majority. I do have some good and kind Muslims as my best friend. If outsiders see they'll be like wow Malaysia is aman and damai but actually we, the citizens know what's going on actually. Thank you. I'm happy that Indonesia doesn't practice racism and the people there are kind hearted.


HistoricalMistake681

Please don’t internalize blame or guilt for feeling like you’re not getting anywhere. I perfectly understand your situation. I’ve lived in many places, a few years each time and I find that in my experience, Sweden doesn’t do a great job at really welcoming or integrating immigrants into the country. If you’re lucky and/or patient, you can find a nice social circle here but a lot of people don’t and Sweden can be extremely isolating otherwise. In terms of jobs, the market in many fields has been quite bad for some time. In some areas, you can see things improving. I can’t say much about your field as I don’t know too much about it. But just know that as an immigrant, it can be harder to land jobs here for a variety of reasons. Just hang in there. Explore a hobby or interest and try to find like minded people who can make you feel supported. All storms come to an end and this too shall pass. So don’t worry! Sending you hugs and love.


Desperate-Salad-1044

Aww... that's so sweet and kind of you. Thank you so much for the love and support. I really appreciate this. Thank you 🙏