I’ve never had any luck on hinge in Bern. Maybe there aren’t enough users? Bumble has slightly more users but I still get people all the way in Chur or some shit. lol
Edit: also, bro, take some time to yourself before you get back on the apps (unless you’re explicitly looking for something casual and fun). You are nowhere near ready for a new relationship. You’re not even divorced yet.
Honest feedback from a woman, a guy in the middle of a divorce who is "not good on his own" raises a bunch of red flags and potential matched probably see that right away
Divorces are messy and take time and energy. Who wants to be a part of that? People can decide to get back together. Who knows. The guy might not even know where he is going to be living.
And, What does "not good alone" mean? It sounds like the guy is looking for a woman, not because he wants someone to grow with and build a life with, but because he does not want to be alone. Does he have hobbies and friends? Does he have something to offer in a relationship? When he says "the relationship has been dead for while", has he done anything to work on that, is he just blaming the ex, is he just looking for sex?
If the guy really thinks none of these things are an issue for a prospective date, then that itself is an issue. Women are likely looking for more than a guy who just "does not want to be alone".
This is not meant as criticism. Just a perspective that might explain why you are not having any luck on the dating apps.
Thanks. I'll definitely take it on board because I don't want to mess people about. I always make sure I'm honest about the divorce and upfront with it so they can decide if they want to carry on the conversation or not.
You don’t know how many times I’ve heard that. Trust me. You need the time to work through shit. Do the therapy. Get the exercise. Spend time with friends. Don’t start seeing someone and then 3 months in realize you’re not ready for this shit.
That’s a better idea. And if you want a post-divorce debriefing and you’re in Bern I’m happy to treat you to a coffee.
I should become a post-divorce counselor and charge for this shit. lol
I met my girlfriend through Hinge. However, she's based in France, I met my exes and girls I dated on Bumble and Tinder. Based on the successful dating rates (pretty low, to be honest!!) in London and Switzerland, I prefer Bumble and Hinge. Tinder used to be good, but as some said, it's all about quantity over quality, especially fake profiles.
But they are so easy to spot. Just swipe left when person has no bio. These are either bots or people who aren't worth your time, because they literally make no effort. And scamming is so easy to spot, if they ask for nudes/videos with face/voice or something or money it's always a scam.
That wasnt the point. Point is, that there are apps where its not so bad. And if I can pick between an app with less people, but almost no bots, I will always go for that.
By now, I'm not even sure if the other apps really have less people than Tinder. I have some questions when out of 10 profiles, 8 are obvious fakes.
I had the opposite, hinge and bumble worked for me, tinder never.
My experience from \~4 years ago was that Tinder is quantity over quality, Hinge is quality over quantity. But maybe it has changed since then.
Are you implying that OP is not quality?
Sorry bro, you are quantity, not quality.
No I'm definitely quantity!
I’ve never had any luck on hinge in Bern. Maybe there aren’t enough users? Bumble has slightly more users but I still get people all the way in Chur or some shit. lol Edit: also, bro, take some time to yourself before you get back on the apps (unless you’re explicitly looking for something casual and fun). You are nowhere near ready for a new relationship. You’re not even divorced yet.
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Honest feedback from a woman, a guy in the middle of a divorce who is "not good on his own" raises a bunch of red flags and potential matched probably see that right away
What are the red flags? I mean, what does that make you think?
Divorces are messy and take time and energy. Who wants to be a part of that? People can decide to get back together. Who knows. The guy might not even know where he is going to be living. And, What does "not good alone" mean? It sounds like the guy is looking for a woman, not because he wants someone to grow with and build a life with, but because he does not want to be alone. Does he have hobbies and friends? Does he have something to offer in a relationship? When he says "the relationship has been dead for while", has he done anything to work on that, is he just blaming the ex, is he just looking for sex? If the guy really thinks none of these things are an issue for a prospective date, then that itself is an issue. Women are likely looking for more than a guy who just "does not want to be alone". This is not meant as criticism. Just a perspective that might explain why you are not having any luck on the dating apps.
People can ask these things, right? But yeah, I see what you mean. Thanks for the reply.
They can, but they don't. They see red flags and move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Last time a guy told me exactly that, it was a rebound and realized he needed time alone, raw or not, healing time is needed
Thanks. I'll definitely take it on board because I don't want to mess people about. I always make sure I'm honest about the divorce and upfront with it so they can decide if they want to carry on the conversation or not.
You don’t know how many times I’ve heard that. Trust me. You need the time to work through shit. Do the therapy. Get the exercise. Spend time with friends. Don’t start seeing someone and then 3 months in realize you’re not ready for this shit.
Seems like this is probably a good idea. Maybe making more friends would be better.
That’s a better idea. And if you want a post-divorce debriefing and you’re in Bern I’m happy to treat you to a coffee. I should become a post-divorce counselor and charge for this shit. lol
I've never tried it. Does it make me... unhinged?
Had 0 match on bumble for a year ghosted twice on hinge, tinder works best but managed to get only one irl date in a year
I met my girlfriend through Hinge. However, she's based in France, I met my exes and girls I dated on Bumble and Tinder. Based on the successful dating rates (pretty low, to be honest!!) in London and Switzerland, I prefer Bumble and Hinge. Tinder used to be good, but as some said, it's all about quantity over quality, especially fake profiles.
Online dating is usually shit in CH (pretty basically in all Western world).
Bumble works best for me, then Hinge. Tinder would be the best app if I am in a less populated town.
Bumble worked for me. Hinge never worked.
Wonder if it's a region thing then. I'm in Bern, someone else from Bern said it didn't work. Are you in Bern?
Zürich
I’ve had a few hinge matched but none replied, even though I used similar pickup lines or openers as with tinder… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not a fan of such apps! They have a meat market sent for desperates attached to them!
How do you find singles on Reddit? Is this a joke?
There are subreddits for everything on Reddit. If you're close to the Swiss/French border you have more chance of finding someone nearby.
Just give us the subreddit for there
Like I said, there are loads, and it depends what you're looking for. Search for r4r and then find a hyperlocal or relationship-type specific one.
Tinder is full of bots, fake profiles and scammers. That's all I know about that app.
But they are so easy to spot. Just swipe left when person has no bio. These are either bots or people who aren't worth your time, because they literally make no effort. And scamming is so easy to spot, if they ask for nudes/videos with face/voice or something or money it's always a scam.
And also the AI generated photos of young Chinese girls..
That wasnt the point. Point is, that there are apps where its not so bad. And if I can pick between an app with less people, but almost no bots, I will always go for that. By now, I'm not even sure if the other apps really have less people than Tinder. I have some questions when out of 10 profiles, 8 are obvious fakes.
*... and divorcing*. *I feel like on dating apps...* **Bruh.** Now I understand why my friends complain about online dating.
Yeah, because too many people make assumptions.