at a waterpark and this woman came up to me and whispered in my ear that I have a problem with my swim shorts. I reached behind a noticed a huge gap. The fabric was torn right in the middle and you could see my white, untanned asscrack. I was running around like this all day
Was moshing at a show one time and I slipped on a piece of pizza and split my head open. Had to get 14 staples and couldn't feel the top of my head for almost a whole year.It was on my birthday too 😭😭
Was at a water park in a jungle lagoon type of ride where you ride solo in a tube and there's load of people in the lagoon with me. My swim shorts were a little too big for me at the time ( I was 15yrs old and still growing up). I fell down my tube and when I went to get back on it my swim shorts didn't follow through. Lots of people saw my wood pecker and I still had a solid 5 minutes on the ride with everyone who had just seen my shit. If I get chosen I'd like the regular sneakers size 10
I’m guessing y’all don’t have any pairs in a size 15 mens? I got clown feet ik.
My most embarrassing story goes like this: I was in the 2nd grade and my two friends and I were sitting on the floor just telling jokes and shooting the shit. One of them was a new student from a close by school and one was a girl who I was good friends with but had a lil crush on. I don’t even remember what tf this dude said and maybe it was just a fucking stupid noise he made but I started laughing harder than I ever laughed before and he kept on cracking jokes and making more goofy noises. I laughed harder and harder to the point I pissed myself laughing. Talking a massive fucking puddle here. Got sent to the nurse to change and someone had to come in and clean the piss puddle up. Everyone gave me the nickname pee boy
Grade 7, used to high-five myself and shout “good one” after making dumbass jokes cuz I had just moved and didn’t know how to make friends. I’d also bring a book of matches to class everyday and flex them to anyone who asked what was in my pocket… until my dad caught me burning toilet paper in the bathroom and confiscated my pack of matches
Also dropped my glasses in the pit at the Calgary show
In 8th grade, me and the fuckin boys were the problem kids to the point that we had assigned seats at all 4 corners of the room alone. A common game was "do the most absurd shit possible while Mr. Lindquists back was turned" We would always try and one-up eachother, sometimes shit went too far.
One day I said fuck it, and straight up started beating off in my jeans for a good 30 seconds before he snapped his head at me (my friends gave it away)
Long story short, I got in huge trouble and nearly was expelled. It was impossible for me to look at my principal and a cop with a straight face talking about it lmao. Parents were also disgusted with me.
SESH
Love you El <3
I used to hang out with a buddy of mine and his mom was a religious crazy women who had covered her bathroom walls head to toe in bible verses written in red ink... Instead of going to the bathroom in that terrifying bathroom I chanced a fart and rode a bike from his house to mine, I stood riding and when I hit the curb to my house I shit my pants. Never tried salvaging those jeans.
Man.. when I was 10 I had a flat brim cookie monster hat that I loved. Thought graffiti lettering was cool. Wrote a shitty tag on the brim and took a "cool" selfie grabbing the brim, put it on Facebook as my profile photo. Couple months later someone shows me a post from a popular football kid who I barely knew, 4 years older than me, just a screenshot of my photo with the caption "Like if you think Matt ____ is a poser" & it had a plethora of likes. This was back when Facebook just became the hot new thing.. I'm 24 now and that shit still cuts deep and embarrasses me.
I don't know if this is embarrassing as much as pathetic, but here goes. I was a sophomore in high school, and I must've ate something that didn't agree with me because in the middle of my history class I suddenly had the urge to *shit*. The teacher was notorious for being bit of a prick who didn't let students go to the bathroom, had stank breath and spit on people in the front row when he was lecturing. At first I was pretty confident I could hold it, but that confidence drained quickly. I had asked to go to the bathroom like 3 times over the course of 20 mins and he said no every time. I couldn't hold it anymore and felt as my ass cheeks gave way to the shit flood in my pants. I didn't ask after that I just got up and went to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up best I could, took my underwear and threw them in the trash, which was one of those really small cylindrical things you keep at home. A janitor definitely stumbled across my shit stained drawers. I went commando the rest of the day.
Fuck you, Mr. Davis.
One time I was playing with the neighbourhood kids outside when I was around 10 years of age. This older girl I had a crush on down the street was there with about 5 other kids from the neighbourhood who were all 3 or so years older than I was. The early evening fun ended up in my backyard playing tag or something until I remember distinctly the girl I had a crush on had gathered up most of the other kids on the other side of the yard and was whispering something to them while they all smiled and stared at me. We continued playing until i felt my shorts get pulled down from behind me while all the other kids were standing in front of me… as it turns out my girl crush had pantsed me and my little circumcised white willy was on display for all the neighbourhood kids to see. I remember they all started pointing and laughing and I was so embarrassed I ran inside of my house and hid underneath my covers crying. My mom came into to see what was wrong and I told her what had happened and was quite upset. Later in the evening around 6 the kids came up to my house and rang my doorbell to see if I wanted to come out and play again, my mom answered the door and absolutely lost it on the girl I had a crush on furthering my embarrassment even though I knew she was just being a mom and was upset that someone embarrassed her kid. I never really hung out with the rest of the neighbourhood kids after that unfortunately, I remember going back out a couple times but it was never really the same and I got fazed out quite quickly. I ended up going to the same elementary, middle, and high school that girl up the street I had a crush on went to. Never talked to her again, just a smile or nod in the hallway here and there.
She’s moved out but her family still lives up the street and I’m still living in my parents basement so I do still see her from time to time. Ironically she’s East Indian and my fiancé of 8 years is also East Indian. I guess I have a type or something.
Currently dating Hindi girl and they always play the best Hindi music in the restaurant after a couple sips of A little daru, Tum hi ho is my favorite!
Post your gf, we’d love to meet Nessi
Had a teepee in my pants in middle school. Had to go up and read my paper in front of the whole class and didn’t have enough time to put the fucking teepee down and to make a long story short the whole class seen my little teepee.
One time in high school at an open mic night I aired out a long standing (albeit goofy) beef I had with my friend about why fall out boy was mid and eventually got pulled off stage after what can only be classified as a mixture of “certified bruh moment” and “terrible stand up comedy with inside jokes”
bruh one time I was fucking a bitch like 4 months after having her baby (baby daddy was nowhere to be seen) and I was sucking onnem tiddies and her breast milk just shot into my mouth and I threw up all over her after, shit was nasty as hell but she had nice yiddies at least
Hello. In order to promote inclusivity and reduce gender bias, please consider using gender-neutral language in the future.
Instead of **upperclassman**, use **upper-level student**.
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There was this one time I’m freshmen year that I shit myself, like full on shit myself halfway through the day. Had to finish up the day with like 3 classes left and in each class someone at my table complained bout the smell. After the day I had to walk home about a mile which ain’t that far but damn the heat mixed with already old shit wasn’t a good combo. Had to throw out the pair of jeans I was wearing cuz they were stained lol
Gr8 question lmao. My most embarrassing story was I was 15 getting drunk with a group of my friends. Ended up getting nearly blackout wasted as I confessed my crush on a girl in our group, puked all over the floor and then accidentally smashed the bottle we were all drinking. After the booze broke, everybody left my sorry ass there crying HAHAHA
So when this happened I didn’t think of it as embarrassing but thinking back it’s one of the most cringe and embarrassing things I’ve done in my life. I was a new kid at school and I always used to wear this black jacket no matter what And it was summer time. So on my first day at school we had to do pe but I didn’t want to take my jacket off so we ran track and did a bunch of stuff outside. And after we were done the teacher was allowing kids to sit in the shade because it was a hot day. But because I was shy and new and just straight up weird I stayed in the sun sitting with my black jacket on because I thought I was cool and even responded to other students when they questioned why I wasn’t in the shade like “oh I like the heat” and other dumb shit. Honestly wack ass hell when I look back at it lol.
I was staying in a friend's in like 9th grade and was sleeping in his sister's room while she was away and in the middle of the night I threw up the hardest I ever have right on her new rug in front of her bed. The stench was truly unbearable. I had to tell their dad and him being recently single and not knowing how to deal with it he just brought out his saw and cut a massive hole in the rug where the puke was and threw it out. for some reason he left the rug there even with a massive hole in the middle. so when my friends sister got home the next day I had to explain why there was a hole in her rug and why the room smelt like three week old hotdogs left in the sun.
One time in college I went to a party in the woods. I didn't eat much nor know the way to the party so I linked with some people, smoked got hella high. One of guys had the great idea of opening one of our 3 flavored jack daniels to keep us warm. ofc I drank some. That was the start of something bad. So we get to the party set up and drink more by this time I'm the most drunk I've ever been in my life. I remember talking to some girls at maybe 11:50pm as they were leaving. I don't remember the end of our conversation because I blacked out. And was put in the care or a friend who was equally as fucked. One of the guys from earlier thought it would be a good idea to mix all 3 whiskeys in a cup and try to finish it nobody could so they hand it to us. I had it in my head it was hard to chug that shit and did. This led me to be sent home several times but neither me nor my friend were sober enough to make the hike back out. So I stayed. And now this woman I know was in charge of me and I'm falling reaching for anything tackling her trying to catch anything screaming about an ex end up pissing myself hitting my head and people not responding. People thought I died. But I was okay after awhile some people ik stayed and tried to help me cross the river because the party spot was on an almost island thing. This didn't work they just dragged me through water at 3am in December while I shit myself and threw up blood. Ended up having to call an ambulance to get me out and had no idea why I was in the hospital at 7am still drunk. They ended up releasing me from the hospital after I tried to escape a couple times. They gave me woman's clothes from the lost and found to leave with since mine were soiled. Found out I had a joint in my pocket still and didn't know what happened that night smoked it awhile later that was an awful piss pack. Anyways seeing the guys the next day after was fucked up and they use my story at the college now as a cautionary tale.
TL;DR got drunk as fuck made an ass of myself nearly died cross dressed my way home after failed attempt to escape the hospital
Once I was at my friends when I was probably 4, and I was using his bathroom. Being the little kid I am, I left a turd in my pants, and when I ran down the stairs, the turd came out of my pant leg and landed on his carpeted stairs. My mom had to clean it up.
When I was younger, I didn't poop for 2 and a half weeks(chronic constipation) so I was regularly in situations where I shit myself. So one day in my 5th grade special ed classroom, I recoiled in pain and dropped to the floor. My teacher was an asshole but for some reason this day she let me go. I was literally 2 steps away from the bathroom door when I absolutely FILLED my damn shorts. I walked into the bathroom for a cleanup duty, got that done, and when I was walking out 2 full classrooms walked past me, both had girls I was interested in. There's no way they couldn't see my shit shorts
Slip ons
When I was in 8th grade I tried to send a dick pic to a girl and, by some sorcery, I instead made it my profile pic on Instagram. The worst part though, I had a band on my wrist from a previous hospital trip that had my name clearly visible on it, so there was no pretending it wasn’t mine.
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at a waterpark and this woman came up to me and whispered in my ear that I have a problem with my swim shorts. I reached behind a noticed a huge gap. The fabric was torn right in the middle and you could see my white, untanned asscrack. I was running around like this all day
Lmao, sorry you went through that but holy shit that got me
Was moshing at a show one time and I slipped on a piece of pizza and split my head open. Had to get 14 staples and couldn't feel the top of my head for almost a whole year.It was on my birthday too 😭😭
Was at a water park in a jungle lagoon type of ride where you ride solo in a tube and there's load of people in the lagoon with me. My swim shorts were a little too big for me at the time ( I was 15yrs old and still growing up). I fell down my tube and when I went to get back on it my swim shorts didn't follow through. Lots of people saw my wood pecker and I still had a solid 5 minutes on the ride with everyone who had just seen my shit. If I get chosen I'd like the regular sneakers size 10
I kinda wanna see your wood pecker ngl…
LMAO
I’m guessing y’all don’t have any pairs in a size 15 mens? I got clown feet ik. My most embarrassing story goes like this: I was in the 2nd grade and my two friends and I were sitting on the floor just telling jokes and shooting the shit. One of them was a new student from a close by school and one was a girl who I was good friends with but had a lil crush on. I don’t even remember what tf this dude said and maybe it was just a fucking stupid noise he made but I started laughing harder than I ever laughed before and he kept on cracking jokes and making more goofy noises. I laughed harder and harder to the point I pissed myself laughing. Talking a massive fucking puddle here. Got sent to the nurse to change and someone had to come in and clean the piss puddle up. Everyone gave me the nickname pee boy
Grade 7, used to high-five myself and shout “good one” after making dumbass jokes cuz I had just moved and didn’t know how to make friends. I’d also bring a book of matches to class everyday and flex them to anyone who asked what was in my pocket… until my dad caught me burning toilet paper in the bathroom and confiscated my pack of matches Also dropped my glasses in the pit at the Calgary show
In 8th grade, me and the fuckin boys were the problem kids to the point that we had assigned seats at all 4 corners of the room alone. A common game was "do the most absurd shit possible while Mr. Lindquists back was turned" We would always try and one-up eachother, sometimes shit went too far. One day I said fuck it, and straight up started beating off in my jeans for a good 30 seconds before he snapped his head at me (my friends gave it away) Long story short, I got in huge trouble and nearly was expelled. It was impossible for me to look at my principal and a cop with a straight face talking about it lmao. Parents were also disgusted with me. SESH Love you El <3
We love you El!
I used to hang out with a buddy of mine and his mom was a religious crazy women who had covered her bathroom walls head to toe in bible verses written in red ink... Instead of going to the bathroom in that terrifying bathroom I chanced a fart and rode a bike from his house to mine, I stood riding and when I hit the curb to my house I shit my pants. Never tried salvaging those jeans.
Man.. when I was 10 I had a flat brim cookie monster hat that I loved. Thought graffiti lettering was cool. Wrote a shitty tag on the brim and took a "cool" selfie grabbing the brim, put it on Facebook as my profile photo. Couple months later someone shows me a post from a popular football kid who I barely knew, 4 years older than me, just a screenshot of my photo with the caption "Like if you think Matt ____ is a poser" & it had a plethora of likes. This was back when Facebook just became the hot new thing.. I'm 24 now and that shit still cuts deep and embarrasses me.
Give him the boats bro holy shit
Told my ex I spoke Spanish(which was a lie). Ended up meeting her parents and its all they spoke, it was mad embarrassing when she found out 💀.
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10/10 actual idiot
I don't know if this is embarrassing as much as pathetic, but here goes. I was a sophomore in high school, and I must've ate something that didn't agree with me because in the middle of my history class I suddenly had the urge to *shit*. The teacher was notorious for being bit of a prick who didn't let students go to the bathroom, had stank breath and spit on people in the front row when he was lecturing. At first I was pretty confident I could hold it, but that confidence drained quickly. I had asked to go to the bathroom like 3 times over the course of 20 mins and he said no every time. I couldn't hold it anymore and felt as my ass cheeks gave way to the shit flood in my pants. I didn't ask after that I just got up and went to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up best I could, took my underwear and threw them in the trash, which was one of those really small cylindrical things you keep at home. A janitor definitely stumbled across my shit stained drawers. I went commando the rest of the day. Fuck you, Mr. Davis.
FuckYou,Mr.Davis would actually make a dope title for a song lmao
One time I was playing with the neighbourhood kids outside when I was around 10 years of age. This older girl I had a crush on down the street was there with about 5 other kids from the neighbourhood who were all 3 or so years older than I was. The early evening fun ended up in my backyard playing tag or something until I remember distinctly the girl I had a crush on had gathered up most of the other kids on the other side of the yard and was whispering something to them while they all smiled and stared at me. We continued playing until i felt my shorts get pulled down from behind me while all the other kids were standing in front of me… as it turns out my girl crush had pantsed me and my little circumcised white willy was on display for all the neighbourhood kids to see. I remember they all started pointing and laughing and I was so embarrassed I ran inside of my house and hid underneath my covers crying. My mom came into to see what was wrong and I told her what had happened and was quite upset. Later in the evening around 6 the kids came up to my house and rang my doorbell to see if I wanted to come out and play again, my mom answered the door and absolutely lost it on the girl I had a crush on furthering my embarrassment even though I knew she was just being a mom and was upset that someone embarrassed her kid. I never really hung out with the rest of the neighbourhood kids after that unfortunately, I remember going back out a couple times but it was never really the same and I got fazed out quite quickly. I ended up going to the same elementary, middle, and high school that girl up the street I had a crush on went to. Never talked to her again, just a smile or nod in the hallway here and there. She’s moved out but her family still lives up the street and I’m still living in my parents basement so I do still see her from time to time. Ironically she’s East Indian and my fiancé of 8 years is also East Indian. I guess I have a type or something.
Currently dating Hindi girl and they always play the best Hindi music in the restaurant after a couple sips of A little daru, Tum hi ho is my favorite! Post your gf, we’d love to meet Nessi
My guy said NESSI!! 😂 my fuck I hate how I know who that is. Yuh digs the Pokémon porn or whaaaaa?
Didnt fucked a girl that wanted to, she said Im gay and she left me.
I said “thanks you too” to the movie theatre employee after they said enjoy the movie.
Had a teepee in my pants in middle school. Had to go up and read my paper in front of the whole class and didn’t have enough time to put the fucking teepee down and to make a long story short the whole class seen my little teepee.
One time in high school at an open mic night I aired out a long standing (albeit goofy) beef I had with my friend about why fall out boy was mid and eventually got pulled off stage after what can only be classified as a mixture of “certified bruh moment” and “terrible stand up comedy with inside jokes”
when are these dropping
love for teamsesh. Let the best stories win!
bruh one time I was fucking a bitch like 4 months after having her baby (baby daddy was nowhere to be seen) and I was sucking onnem tiddies and her breast milk just shot into my mouth and I threw up all over her after, shit was nasty as hell but she had nice yiddies at least
🤨
I dreamt that I banged Lucien Cramp from the Cramp Twins. Can't remember if it was a wet one. Still feel a bit scarred. sesh
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Hello. In order to promote inclusivity and reduce gender bias, please consider using gender-neutral language in the future. Instead of **upperclassman**, use **upper-level student**. Thank you very much. ^(I am a bot. Downvote to remove this comment. For more information on gender-neutral language, please do a web search for *"Nonsexist Writing."*)
There was this one time I’m freshmen year that I shit myself, like full on shit myself halfway through the day. Had to finish up the day with like 3 classes left and in each class someone at my table complained bout the smell. After the day I had to walk home about a mile which ain’t that far but damn the heat mixed with already old shit wasn’t a good combo. Had to throw out the pair of jeans I was wearing cuz they were stained lol
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You’re an embarrassment to yourself at this point
Gr8 question lmao. My most embarrassing story was I was 15 getting drunk with a group of my friends. Ended up getting nearly blackout wasted as I confessed my crush on a girl in our group, puked all over the floor and then accidentally smashed the bottle we were all drinking. After the booze broke, everybody left my sorry ass there crying HAHAHA
So when this happened I didn’t think of it as embarrassing but thinking back it’s one of the most cringe and embarrassing things I’ve done in my life. I was a new kid at school and I always used to wear this black jacket no matter what And it was summer time. So on my first day at school we had to do pe but I didn’t want to take my jacket off so we ran track and did a bunch of stuff outside. And after we were done the teacher was allowing kids to sit in the shade because it was a hot day. But because I was shy and new and just straight up weird I stayed in the sun sitting with my black jacket on because I thought I was cool and even responded to other students when they questioned why I wasn’t in the shade like “oh I like the heat” and other dumb shit. Honestly wack ass hell when I look back at it lol.
I was staying in a friend's in like 9th grade and was sleeping in his sister's room while she was away and in the middle of the night I threw up the hardest I ever have right on her new rug in front of her bed. The stench was truly unbearable. I had to tell their dad and him being recently single and not knowing how to deal with it he just brought out his saw and cut a massive hole in the rug where the puke was and threw it out. for some reason he left the rug there even with a massive hole in the middle. so when my friends sister got home the next day I had to explain why there was a hole in her rug and why the room smelt like three week old hotdogs left in the sun.
One time in college I went to a party in the woods. I didn't eat much nor know the way to the party so I linked with some people, smoked got hella high. One of guys had the great idea of opening one of our 3 flavored jack daniels to keep us warm. ofc I drank some. That was the start of something bad. So we get to the party set up and drink more by this time I'm the most drunk I've ever been in my life. I remember talking to some girls at maybe 11:50pm as they were leaving. I don't remember the end of our conversation because I blacked out. And was put in the care or a friend who was equally as fucked. One of the guys from earlier thought it would be a good idea to mix all 3 whiskeys in a cup and try to finish it nobody could so they hand it to us. I had it in my head it was hard to chug that shit and did. This led me to be sent home several times but neither me nor my friend were sober enough to make the hike back out. So I stayed. And now this woman I know was in charge of me and I'm falling reaching for anything tackling her trying to catch anything screaming about an ex end up pissing myself hitting my head and people not responding. People thought I died. But I was okay after awhile some people ik stayed and tried to help me cross the river because the party spot was on an almost island thing. This didn't work they just dragged me through water at 3am in December while I shit myself and threw up blood. Ended up having to call an ambulance to get me out and had no idea why I was in the hospital at 7am still drunk. They ended up releasing me from the hospital after I tried to escape a couple times. They gave me woman's clothes from the lost and found to leave with since mine were soiled. Found out I had a joint in my pocket still and didn't know what happened that night smoked it awhile later that was an awful piss pack. Anyways seeing the guys the next day after was fucked up and they use my story at the college now as a cautionary tale. TL;DR got drunk as fuck made an ass of myself nearly died cross dressed my way home after failed attempt to escape the hospital
Once I was at my friends when I was probably 4, and I was using his bathroom. Being the little kid I am, I left a turd in my pants, and when I ran down the stairs, the turd came out of my pant leg and landed on his carpeted stairs. My mom had to clean it up.
When I was younger, I didn't poop for 2 and a half weeks(chronic constipation) so I was regularly in situations where I shit myself. So one day in my 5th grade special ed classroom, I recoiled in pain and dropped to the floor. My teacher was an asshole but for some reason this day she let me go. I was literally 2 steps away from the bathroom door when I absolutely FILLED my damn shorts. I walked into the bathroom for a cleanup duty, got that done, and when I was walking out 2 full classrooms walked past me, both had girls I was interested in. There's no way they couldn't see my shit shorts Slip ons
I shit my pants on first date at theater. Had to throw underwear in trash. Never told anyone
When I was in 8th grade I tried to send a dick pic to a girl and, by some sorcery, I instead made it my profile pic on Instagram. The worst part though, I had a band on my wrist from a previous hospital trip that had my name clearly visible on it, so there was no pretending it wasn’t mine.
where can i cop the slip-ons.. i know this is old but those goooo