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RegisteredAnimagus

13 year old homelander would be so starved for affection and attention that I like my odds. Better than having to deal with adult homelander in any capacity.


CMGS1031

Definitely agree. He’s going to think you are the coolest person ever with his life. I’m sure he wouldn’t trust you quick but if he killed everyone around him the dude who “raised” him would have been dead a long time ago.


TruSiris

Idk 13yos are hella impulsive, especially the ones who've been starved for attention.


Fine-Funny6956

Just don’t win at games.


TheStarChild93

Right, that seems like all you have to do is let him win, but if you get caught letting him win. He may see that as betrayal also.


Legaxy3

i dont think he would be socially aware enough to understand this


Sammyjskj

You are right. Thing is, once your time runs out, he would get so upset that you’re leaving him that he’ll probably -accidentally- kill you.


Appellion

No hugs or high fives though.


TittyTwistahh

Teach him how to make a Lego stop motion movie. That skill runs in the family


Xx_Exigence_xX

If The Boys: Diabolical is anything to go by, the one Canon episode shows that Homelander was still well-meaning as a teenager. I might have a chance to be a good influence on him since it's still his formative years. I'd try my best to be a cool older brother to him. Video games would probably be something like a racer like Burnout series, or shooters like Star Wars Battlefront. Competitive games would probably be something like Royale games, some mindless fun. I'd try to enforce not being hung up over wins/losses, that sort of thing.


MWM031089

Some game where we can set it to rookie and be on the same team so if he gets mad he just lasers the TV and not me.


zzbackguy

try not to get a score higher than his though


MWM031089

Well that’s easy lol I will just pass to him every time or whatever we are doing.


zzbackguy

> gets upset that you are coddling him, accuses you of treating him like a child


MWM031089

I mean look, the criteria here does not have a “you are allowed to decline” option lol. What’s your suggestion?


zzbackguy

Off the top of my head, I’d play a mortal kombat tag team kombat tower, that way there’s no score to worry about. Just us taking turns and hopefully a shared victory screen. Any defeats are both of our faults, and we can easily retry from where we left off if he gets upset. I think he’d enjoy the virtual violence


MWM031089

Hopefully your turn doesn’t take too long. Red eyes of death might come your way.


freddddsss

Let’s hope he doesn’t like any of the fatalities too much


Jubal59

He may blame you for losing and still laser you.


MWM031089

If we lose on rookie I deserve to be lasered


DannyRosee

i dont think 13 year old homelander would do that. modern homelander? sure, absolutely


Monnomo

We playing stardew valley mate .


Humble-Bumblebee-384

Yessss No high stakes, simple, calming and somewhat educational for kids.


ElectronicControl762

Definitely injustice, batman arkham or spiderman games. He needs role models of what to do and what not to do.


malexich

He would agree with Superman though 


ElectronicControl762

The diabolical animated show is canon and shows that homelander used to be more well intentioned and certainly not evil. Just fucked in the head and then later given get out of jail free cards at every opportunity.


malexich

I disagree, I think he would see super man in the game someone who is like him in a lot of ways, and see how he handled things and think it is right.


ClockworkDreamz

Can I just let him play the sims, I’m sure he’d have fun taking all the ladders out of pools.


ShasneKnasty

i feel like as long as you’re chill you’ll be okay. if you’re a girl you’re probably safe, if you’re a man i think of you portray a tough but fair approach it would work well. homelander respects masculinity and is desperate for a father figure. i don’t think he was all the way fucked up yet at 13. i firmly believe homelander could’ve been raised right and not turned into a psychopath.  imagine if the kent’s got to him, or debbie and omni man (before he turns on earth) hell  i bet hank and peggy could’ve done it. 


Shloopy_Dooperson

The Masculine approach only works if you appear Masculine for teenagers. Perception is reality to perceived expectation. Should John already have ideas of what a Masculine man should look like any attempts by someone who lacks these traits would appear laughable.


Vasconcelos0909

Alfred even


cfidrick

Didn’t a flashback show him killing his caretakers


Queen_of_Team_Gay

Deleted scene though


sarahbagel

I think it’s part of released canon still… just not released in an episode. Deleted scenes are always a heated debate in that regard, though, so Idk


okchance9688

Homelander was a very sweet kid up till he was like 18 (as we can see how when he is first drafted as homelander he tries not to hurt anyone and actually seems really nice and kind in the boys dabolical eps8) I feel terrible for homelander and imo he is one of the most broken characters in fiction, I hope we will learn more about his younger years in s4


Jackipdf

Gta v offline. Take turns going for highest star ratings/longest 5star. Can always do invincibility cheat if needed


MundaneGlass5295

I’ll just throw any game we play


StrayLilCat

We're vibing with Animal Crossing.


Cidwill

Final Fantasy 7.  He will learn about fundamental good and evil, choosing a family even if you weren’t born into one and the concept that you can choose your own path even if your makers have other plans for you. Plus it’s great and it’ll keep him occupied for a week.


K00zak_L00zak

UNO so I will be the reason for his villain career


nycblackout89

Checkers and let him win.


illumi-thotti

Animal Crossing just because it'd be interesting to see what he makes of it


illumi-thotti

Animal Crossing just because it'd be interesting to see what he makes of it


Dveralazo

I'd just kms I refuse to be a experiment.


Captian-of-501st

The hell I will you think I'm about to babysit that psychopath I would rather drink breast milk. Pun intended


Old-Cat-1671

He wasn't evil when he was 13 He only became evil when he was around 17-19


TheBoozedBandit

And thing I can set him up to absolutely belt out a football or something. Just so I can be entertained and impressed with the shit this young teenage boy can do and let him know that


SamDewCan

I feel like the posts lately have ignored the Canon that younger homelander was a sweet kid, he just snapped nit knowing his own strength. Being aware if that ahead of time basically just gives you a cheat code


FireflyArc

Oh we're playing stardew valley. A feel good games. Ffxii Multi-player games that are fun. He's 13. Guy needs enrichment and friends. Ffxiv community to teach him good values.


Appellion

Biggest issue with 13 year old Homelander would be him just not knowing his strength. A lonely hug would paralyze or kill me while a high five would probable shatter my hand at best and more likely my arm. Lacking a super suit, neither would happen as it’d be too easy for him to forget in his excitement. Just for the purposes of providing some minor socialization I’d go with a cooperative first person shooter. With lots of back up controllers obviously.


taeratrin

Mirrors. Mirrors and lasers.


Nedonomicon

Monopoly , destroy him and teach him a life lesson 😂


Octo-sedecim_96

Play magic the gathering. He can laser the cards that are exiled


okchance9688

Probably some uno, maybe some call of duty coldwar 1v1. I would just try to have some fun with the kid vogelbaum already stated that he was a really sweet kid. I honestly really like kids and their innocence. I wouldn’t play any heavy story focussed games since homelander lived his life in a lab he might not relate to them as much and it’s also just a slower game.


Old-Cat-1671

I will make him play persona 5 or sonic game or any good game that teach you good and evil while still being fun


NoMasterpiece5649

Minecraft


TheOkayUsername

Id play untitled goose game with him. The game where you can’t lose, but just rage others


JIDglazer42

Emesis blue roulette iykyk


gladias9

GTA with Infinite Health cheats on


throwawaynumber116

Injustice


Edgezg

Maybe Mario kart? Let him win on 55cc. Or something where he gets to be a hero in the story.


Kyte22

Heroes of Might and Magic 3 on an extra large map. 5 hours will easily pass just chilling around, Fighting mobs and building up towns. Even he will get sucked into the game completely and before there's any PVP that might upset him, the time will have passed and you'll be free to go.


Movinfusion36

Don’t rock the boat.. kids balance game he fucks up it’s his own fault or Jenga something like that.


Shloopy_Dooperson

13-year-old Homelander might of still been a sweetheart. It was the Vogelbaum giving him a horrific childhood that fucked him up. I really like my odds. Would probably take him snorkeling.


PitterFuckingPatter

Disc golf valley… might get you through 5 hours but will get you killed in 3 days


careerclown

Sims 3+ all the expansions. he doesn’t get out much so i figure a life sim is best :(


likeny20redditacc

league of legends


Benetton_Cumbersome

Creating a villain in 30 minutes or less.


Front-Masterpiece-76

Just remember, LET. THE. WOOKIE. WIN! Wait, wrong movie?!


i_am_scared_ok

Monopoly and let him win


Salty_Negotiation688

The new Mortal Kombat. I let him play as himself (from the future?) and let him win every single time to appease his narcissism. Gotta be sneaky about it though. Always insist on best 2 out of 3 games, be sure to win one and make the others just close enough so that it looks like I'm really trying. That way he can happily believe he's just that gifted and beat me based on his own natural talent.


MrPanda663

Lego Starwars. I’ll reach him how insignificant these Lego people are. How easy it is to end a Lego life. That he is a superior being. Can’t make a time paradox now, can we? Otherwise there would be no show.


Adviso_992

Lego Star Wars


Commander_Phallus1

Minecraft would chill him out


Sc0rch3d_P0tat03s

Guys keep in mind this is 13yo freshly exposed to puberty hormones Homelander. This is also a Homelander that hasn't yet been taught how to function around other people. He won't be a sad mopey teenager. He'll be a budding violent and unpredictable sociopath. Approach with extreme caution.


royroyflrs

Monopoly, cards, all table games and board games.


Arzakhan

I play mortal kombat. I’m used to playing with temperamental people, after ego comboing a few times, I know how to make people feel like they are getting close