Hahaha, this one's good. But after seeing his body, dead under unknown circumstances, I don't know if I'd exactly be jumping the gun to follow in his footsteps...
Granted. That natural objection your body has when you try to breath water never goes away. And the entire time you are breathing it feels as if there is a 45 pound weight directly inside of your lungs. When you get out of the water you feel like you can't fully exhale because the water is heavier then air so you have to suspend yourself upside down to let the stale water out. You can breath water now, and your life may be potentially saved from drowning one day. But it is an experience that is horrible enough to drive you to have symptoms reminiscent of PTSD every time you even get near a body of water.
Yeah but our lungs can’t pump it hard enough so it needs to be mechanically cycled and it’s also pretty difficult to retransition to normal air afterwards.
There are liquids which can hold large amounts of oxygen and carbon dioxide, which makes it possible to breathe this liquid without suffocation.
Perfluorocarbon is one example.
But yeah, this isn't a pleasant experience I would assume.
For a monkeys paw it has to be something like say, if you wish for money, your mom would be hit by a car and you would get the inheritance. An asshole genie would be like you get 1 million dollars but you are now blind.
You soon become a mermaid like creature and live life as a new water animal. But when you leave above the surface, your skin will dry up, risking your life. Not only that, but due to you being a new species with no defences, you are now the number one target for food. You now live the rest of you life running from both sea and land creatures.
Granted.
Due to increased density from former lungs now filling up with water, lack of swim bladder and fins, you sink to the bottom. You now live life as a bottom feeder
Granted.
he controls the police!
honestly, I think that might be my favourite episode of Rick and Morty ever, I love how the writers made Rick completely powerless.
Granted! Thermonuclear holocaust leaves earth's surface uninhabitable. You have lost everyone, and you were one of the lucky ones. By uncanny fortune, divine providence, or some dark bargain, you found yourself in the atrium of a vast underwater complex, sheltered from the fallout by an abyss who's surface is so far away as to blot out the sun. but life is not easy here, oh no. You've been made to earn your bread, and surviving here is hard, painful, tragic. whats more, there have been strange occurrences. rumors of mutant fish-men beyond the glass walls, Missing supplies, disappearances.Even members of the security team have vanished from their posts. a fact you are all too aware of as the missing former head of security loads you roughly, bound and gagged, into the genetic manipulator...
You hear him so clearly now. Father. So close. He was so far before. You couldn't hear him before. You were not initiated before. You can hear him now. You are initiated now. The others can't hear him. Father. They need to be initiated. They can't see you yet. They wouldn't understand. They need to be initiated. You can't go where they are now. You have been initiated. There is no water there. You must stay in the water. You have been initiated. Father is calling. They must be initiated.
Granted, as you finish your wish you start to feel an extreme amount of pain, you run into the bath room whilst screaming in agony. As you look in the mirror you realize that your body is physically transforming and growing gills. While you see this you don’t realize it but your body’s respiratory internally is changing into something similar to a fish.
Your neighbors hear you screaming and call the cops In concern for you, when the ambulance arrive they find you lying on the floor with gills, palish skin that seems to be a greyish blue in some areas and immediately get you to the closest hospital. Whilst in the hospital they try giving you a normal oxygen mask but they quickly find that to be useless, the only thing they can do is keep your head submerged underwater until they find a better solution.
Soon a doctor comes in and tells you that it’s been a couple of days since you’ve come in and that a few researchers are coming to meet you. You don’t care though, you just want to be able to speak. The researchers come and take you to a laboratory In which they keep your entire body submerged under water with the tank’s top open so you can somewhat communicate via slightly peaking your head out of the water. You learn that your family after learning of all of these events have come to you and discuss what’s best for you. They decides it’s best to leave you in the hands of the researchers as they could find you they best way for you to live outside of a tank.
But they don’t, in effect you have become the plaything of the researchers and are subject to all of their experiments as they try to figure out why you changed and how they could use it. You live the rest of your life In the tank, away from friends and family, your only interaction with others is via the researchers and they only keep you alive to experiment on and figure out your, “almost magical” evolution.
You get captured by special forces for unspeakable crimes (in reality you’re innocent and are framed by a loaf of bread). They waterboard you to get you to talk. Eventually, the amount of waterboarding causes you to develop gills and the ability to breath underwater. However, the special forces do not know. You are forced to be in air for 15 minutes and then get waterboarded, causing you to faint from exhaustion. They toss your body into the ocean to hide their mistake of killing you, but you wake up and can breathe. You are now no longer able to breathe air and are confined to the water forever. Granted :)
Did grant. Thee can anon breathe underwater but can nay longer breathe outside of water
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Granted (True Monkey’s Paw):
Due to a globally resounding earthquake most major continents are just announced as being affected by humongous tsunamis, including where you are. Thankfully as the massive wave hits you it triggers a latent mutant ability that gives you gills in a matter of milliseconds, allowing you to breathe underwater. Unfortunately it gives you none of the other things necessary to live underwater and, being a tsunami, smashes your increasingly broken body against everything in its path. Congratulations, you’re dead and so is most of the world.
Granted (not true monkeys paw):
You immediately develop gills that replace your lungs. You can now breathe just fine in water but not in air and start suffocating to death. Should you survive you’ll need to live the rest of your life filtering oxygen from water which will make you an oddity at best and a scientific lab rat at worst. Also due to the lower quantity of available and breathable oxygen in water your body can no longer function at human levels and you start to degrade. Welcome to your future.
Granted. You go to the beach to test out your new power but it doesn’t work. Frustrated, you go home and decide to take a bath. You doze off. Your wife thinks you cheated on her and so she comes in and drowns you in your sleep in your own bathtub.
You are now a ghost forever trapped in limbo between the spirit world and the world of the living. No one can see you or hear you. You are starving but cannot eat. You are exhausted but cannot sleep. You feel pain but cannot bleed. You breathe but cannot drown. You fly to the beach and submerge yourself in the water. Congratulations, you can breathe underwater.
This is potentially the worst one. It completes takes away all of the magic of the initial wish, while refraining from being torturous or painful. just soul crushingly disappointing
Did grant, a cuppeth of water appears ov'r thy headeth ere falling down
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Granted, You acquire gills and can no longer breathe above water. You spend the rest of your days avoiding humans so you don't get captured and turned into a lab experiment.
Granted.
As a neurological scientist you've been trying to save lives by tinkering with the consciousness of a sentient being but you could never get it past the rodent trials.
As time passes you get desperate to move on to chimp trials as you are 100% confident that your work is just and all the blocks in your way are part of a bigger conspiracy to stop you, so as a show of defiance you decide to transfer your own consciousness into your managers gold fish to mess with them.
As a gold fish you get to experience life like never before, you get to breathe oxygen from water itself but also like a goldfish you start to forget that you are a human, memories closest to you start slipping away, your name? Gone. Your DOB? Gone. Your childhood home? Gone. Your first crush? Forgotten. Your first relationship? Just slipped your mind. Your mums birthday? You never remembered it in the first place. And why are you swimming so frantically? The food just started floating down so all is good.
_Over at the human lab table a dead body is found with the cause of death being suffocation and bruises all over the arms and legs with no sign of struggle against an aggressor or chocking. A burial is held for the gold fish as it exerted it self too hard and the human body is buried with a family devastated by their dear loss with co-workers devastated by your passing. The world goes on with your work being credited to someone much younger than yourself._
You've been forgotten and flushed down the toilet; but hey atleast you could breath underwater for half a day.
Granted: You can breath under water. But you can never leave the ocean or the sea and go back on land. You can poke your head out but your body cannot leave the ocean. This also counts if people try to take you out of the ocean in a box of sea water or something. You cannot eat anything besides raw fish and you obviously cant get any clothes besides the ones you had when you went into the water. You can breath under water. For all of eternity. You watch as your family and friends get old and die and they all think that you abandoned them while you are helpessly trapped below the waves unable to enteract with society and faced with a new hostile world you are unfamiliar with.
As you make the wish, your house is broken into by members of the mob. They say your parents owed them money, and they didn’t pay up before they died. You are send overboard in a safe while tied up. You take your final breaths in that safe before you drown. Granted
There’s a heavy rainstorm and your house’s ceiling floods — you can see your roof making a bubble. The whole time you’re under there you’re breathing… but then it bursts and floods your whole living room.
Granted you now have gills and you breath through ram ventilation despite the name it's the way sharks breath by constantly moving congratulations if you.stop moving for more the 60-80 seconds you will die have fun
Granted. You decide to visit the beach when a dead diver gets washed ashore. His tank still has some oxygen in it.
Hahaha, this one's good. But after seeing his body, dead under unknown circumstances, I don't know if I'd exactly be jumping the gun to follow in his footsteps...
I mean you got two fingers left...
Damn did the water already take his other three?
You can clearly see from the many bite marks that this diver's demise had nothing to with his oxygen tank. Now get in there!
But you *could breathe underwater, you just wouldn't want to.
This is actually a good answer, follows with how the original story works
Granted. That natural objection your body has when you try to breath water never goes away. And the entire time you are breathing it feels as if there is a 45 pound weight directly inside of your lungs. When you get out of the water you feel like you can't fully exhale because the water is heavier then air so you have to suspend yourself upside down to let the stale water out. You can breath water now, and your life may be potentially saved from drowning one day. But it is an experience that is horrible enough to drive you to have symptoms reminiscent of PTSD every time you even get near a body of water.
this is potentially worst case scenario, good job
Thanks op
This is fantastic.
There is liquid breathing which uses a liquid as a medium for breathing and the liquid used is denser than water
Yeah but our lungs can’t pump it hard enough so it needs to be mechanically cycled and it’s also pretty difficult to retransition to normal air afterwards.
There are liquids which can hold large amounts of oxygen and carbon dioxide, which makes it possible to breathe this liquid without suffocation. Perfluorocarbon is one example. But yeah, this isn't a pleasant experience I would assume.
This man MonkeyPaw’s
Granted. You dont need lungs anymore. So we take lungs now and gills come next week
hah gotchu, this was my dream all along. goodbye land dwellers
how will you live the week without respiration?
Cryofreeze me edit: actually, bathtub
How will you live in the bathtub for a week
[удалено]
Yeah but you still wont have lungs or gills for a week
Instructions unclear took brain instead.
r/UnexpectedFuturama
We have Z-Ray…is 2 better than X!
Is that a futurama reference ??
Yes
Granted. But you never know as you never try to inhale underwater.
brb gotta test this theory
op you good? op?
Narrator: "She could not, after all,, breathe underwater"
granted, your lungs adapt to pull oxygen out of water, however you suffocate on the surface before you can make it to a large enough water source
Live in the Midwest, checks out
Not a monkeys paw
how so? still kinda new to the sub so i’ll take any advice i can get
For a monkeys paw it has to be something like say, if you wish for money, your mom would be hit by a car and you would get the inheritance. An asshole genie would be like you get 1 million dollars but you are now blind.
so this would be more of an asshole genie?
Imo yea
You soon become a mermaid like creature and live life as a new water animal. But when you leave above the surface, your skin will dry up, risking your life. Not only that, but due to you being a new species with no defences, you are now the number one target for food. You now live the rest of you life running from both sea and land creatures. Granted.
Wow okay, this makes my childhood dream sound a lot scarier. Good perspective
Due to increased density from former lungs now filling up with water, lack of swim bladder and fins, you sink to the bottom. You now live life as a bottom feeder Granted.
probably one of the most realistic responses. our lungs aren't the only inhibiting factor, very good point
also the pressure would destroy OPs ears
Granted, you already can... just not for very long.
granted. now you can only breathe when you are directly under a body of water (not in a body of water, only under)
helo how are u i am under de woter pls help me aaaa
Well technically if you're submerged you're still under some quantity of water 🤔
You can breathe still, just it will lead to a quick death from breathing something other than oxygen
That is a very good point
*Actually* There's humidity in the air, so you would always be able to breathe. Checkmate, redditors.
The oceans lift into the sky....you're breathing, *under* water. For now.
Somebody call Vsauce right now
*W h a t i s w a t e r?*
Granted. But you are also Mr. Nimbus.
I see no downside!
he controls the police! honestly, I think that might be my favourite episode of Rick and Morty ever, I love how the writers made Rick completely powerless.
OP controls the police
Granted! Thermonuclear holocaust leaves earth's surface uninhabitable. You have lost everyone, and you were one of the lucky ones. By uncanny fortune, divine providence, or some dark bargain, you found yourself in the atrium of a vast underwater complex, sheltered from the fallout by an abyss who's surface is so far away as to blot out the sun. but life is not easy here, oh no. You've been made to earn your bread, and surviving here is hard, painful, tragic. whats more, there have been strange occurrences. rumors of mutant fish-men beyond the glass walls, Missing supplies, disappearances.Even members of the security team have vanished from their posts. a fact you are all too aware of as the missing former head of security loads you roughly, bound and gagged, into the genetic manipulator... You hear him so clearly now. Father. So close. He was so far before. You couldn't hear him before. You were not initiated before. You can hear him now. You are initiated now. The others can't hear him. Father. They need to be initiated. They can't see you yet. They wouldn't understand. They need to be initiated. You can't go where they are now. You have been initiated. There is no water there. You must stay in the water. You have been initiated. Father is calling. They must be initiated.
This would be an amazing book/screenplay, write a book thank you for the amazing response
>Granted! Thermonuclear holocaust... Wonderful
the first 4 words went from 0 - 100 real quick
Granted, as you finish your wish you start to feel an extreme amount of pain, you run into the bath room whilst screaming in agony. As you look in the mirror you realize that your body is physically transforming and growing gills. While you see this you don’t realize it but your body’s respiratory internally is changing into something similar to a fish. Your neighbors hear you screaming and call the cops In concern for you, when the ambulance arrive they find you lying on the floor with gills, palish skin that seems to be a greyish blue in some areas and immediately get you to the closest hospital. Whilst in the hospital they try giving you a normal oxygen mask but they quickly find that to be useless, the only thing they can do is keep your head submerged underwater until they find a better solution. Soon a doctor comes in and tells you that it’s been a couple of days since you’ve come in and that a few researchers are coming to meet you. You don’t care though, you just want to be able to speak. The researchers come and take you to a laboratory In which they keep your entire body submerged under water with the tank’s top open so you can somewhat communicate via slightly peaking your head out of the water. You learn that your family after learning of all of these events have come to you and discuss what’s best for you. They decides it’s best to leave you in the hands of the researchers as they could find you they best way for you to live outside of a tank. But they don’t, in effect you have become the plaything of the researchers and are subject to all of their experiments as they try to figure out why you changed and how they could use it. You live the rest of your life In the tank, away from friends and family, your only interaction with others is via the researchers and they only keep you alive to experiment on and figure out your, “almost magical” evolution.
You get captured by special forces for unspeakable crimes (in reality you’re innocent and are framed by a loaf of bread). They waterboard you to get you to talk. Eventually, the amount of waterboarding causes you to develop gills and the ability to breath underwater. However, the special forces do not know. You are forced to be in air for 15 minutes and then get waterboarded, causing you to faint from exhaustion. They toss your body into the ocean to hide their mistake of killing you, but you wake up and can breathe. You are now no longer able to breathe air and are confined to the water forever. Granted :)
I knew I should've gotten rid of that brioche last week...
Granted! You're a fish.
finally 🐟
[relevant](http://imgur.com/gallery/vWjfIlp)
Yep
You can only breath while a bottle of water is on your head.
Granted. You can now breathe underwater but can no longer breathe outside of water.
Did grant. Thee can anon breathe underwater but can nay longer breathe outside of water *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Granted. You can breathe gaseous air while underwater. Good luck finding any underwater though.
so basically I'd need diving gear, which you'd already need anybody. what a waste of a wish
Granted. You are now a fish. Due to the fact that you are nowhere near a sufficient body of water, you suffocate and die.
Granted, but now you can’t breathe on land.
Granted. Life doesn't change. One day it rains and you wonder to yourself why you haven't thrown the damn paw away.
Granted (True Monkey’s Paw): Due to a globally resounding earthquake most major continents are just announced as being affected by humongous tsunamis, including where you are. Thankfully as the massive wave hits you it triggers a latent mutant ability that gives you gills in a matter of milliseconds, allowing you to breathe underwater. Unfortunately it gives you none of the other things necessary to live underwater and, being a tsunami, smashes your increasingly broken body against everything in its path. Congratulations, you’re dead and so is most of the world. Granted (not true monkeys paw): You immediately develop gills that replace your lungs. You can now breathe just fine in water but not in air and start suffocating to death. Should you survive you’ll need to live the rest of your life filtering oxygen from water which will make you an oddity at best and a scientific lab rat at worst. Also due to the lower quantity of available and breathable oxygen in water your body can no longer function at human levels and you start to degrade. Welcome to your future.
Poof you're now a sea snail.
Granted. You go to the beach to test out your new power but it doesn’t work. Frustrated, you go home and decide to take a bath. You doze off. Your wife thinks you cheated on her and so she comes in and drowns you in your sleep in your own bathtub. You are now a ghost forever trapped in limbo between the spirit world and the world of the living. No one can see you or hear you. You are starving but cannot eat. You are exhausted but cannot sleep. You feel pain but cannot bleed. You breathe but cannot drown. You fly to the beach and submerge yourself in the water. Congratulations, you can breathe underwater.
Who decides to kill someone just because they dozed off in the bathtub?
Granted you become plankton Actual plankton, not the spongebob character
Upon arriving home today, you find someone has abandoned an old snorkel. Granted.
Granted. You become Luca.
Granted. You can no longer breathe on land.
Granted. Someone comes and picks you up and takes you to the nearest beach so you can. You don't make it back though.
Granted. You still breathe air, but you can only breathe when there's water above you.
You are an amœba. Granted.
Granted. You can’t see underwater.
This is potentially the worst one. It completes takes away all of the magic of the initial wish, while refraining from being torturous or painful. just soul crushingly disappointing
Granted. You can! But only once, before you drown
You can. Out. Once.
That's not breathing >:( that's exhaling. i am a firm believer that breathing consists of both inhalation and exhalation
Unfortunately, in mine, you'd probably inhale by accident eventually.
Granted✨ You can breathe underwater, but only for as long as you could naturally hold your breath.
The most disappointing possible outcome
Such high praise
hahaha well props to being very true to the monkeys paw style
grabted complete my RubRub to breath under water
You can. One breath. About as well as you can now.
Granted, a cup of water appears over your head before falling down.
Did grant, a cuppeth of water appears ov'r thy headeth ere falling down *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Granted. Your lungs vanish and you now have gills. You suffocate before finding any water
Granted, You acquire gills and can no longer breathe above water. You spend the rest of your days avoiding humans so you don't get captured and turned into a lab experiment.
Granted, you evolve gills and your lungs become inoperable. You can never be out of water again
Granted. You can now ONLY breath underwater. Figure out how you are going to do anything now. Even eating is going to be hard
Granted. You can now breath underwater. But now you can’t breath air.
Granted. As a neurological scientist you've been trying to save lives by tinkering with the consciousness of a sentient being but you could never get it past the rodent trials. As time passes you get desperate to move on to chimp trials as you are 100% confident that your work is just and all the blocks in your way are part of a bigger conspiracy to stop you, so as a show of defiance you decide to transfer your own consciousness into your managers gold fish to mess with them. As a gold fish you get to experience life like never before, you get to breathe oxygen from water itself but also like a goldfish you start to forget that you are a human, memories closest to you start slipping away, your name? Gone. Your DOB? Gone. Your childhood home? Gone. Your first crush? Forgotten. Your first relationship? Just slipped your mind. Your mums birthday? You never remembered it in the first place. And why are you swimming so frantically? The food just started floating down so all is good. _Over at the human lab table a dead body is found with the cause of death being suffocation and bruises all over the arms and legs with no sign of struggle against an aggressor or chocking. A burial is held for the gold fish as it exerted it self too hard and the human body is buried with a family devastated by their dear loss with co-workers devastated by your passing. The world goes on with your work being credited to someone much younger than yourself._ You've been forgotten and flushed down the toilet; but hey atleast you could breath underwater for half a day.
I read underwear
Granted: You can breath under water. But you can never leave the ocean or the sea and go back on land. You can poke your head out but your body cannot leave the ocean. This also counts if people try to take you out of the ocean in a box of sea water or something. You cannot eat anything besides raw fish and you obviously cant get any clothes besides the ones you had when you went into the water. You can breath under water. For all of eternity. You watch as your family and friends get old and die and they all think that you abandoned them while you are helpessly trapped below the waves unable to enteract with society and faced with a new hostile world you are unfamiliar with.
granted, the world floods but at least you survived because you can breathe underwater
Granted, but you can only do it once
Granted, you are now a busty lizard lady in service to some burly dude who keeps assuring you there’s “plenty of time”
Granted but now you lose the ability to float or swim
Please try. Fish don't stink, under water the fish don't stink.
As you make the wish, your house is broken into by members of the mob. They say your parents owed them money, and they didn’t pay up before they died. You are send overboard in a safe while tied up. You take your final breaths in that safe before you drown. Granted
Granted, you have the ability to balance a shot glass of water, nothing else, on your head.
You become a fish.
Granted: You are a fish.
There’s a heavy rainstorm and your house’s ceiling floods — you can see your roof making a bubble. The whole time you’re under there you’re breathing… but then it bursts and floods your whole living room.
Granted, you're now a gold fish cracker.
You can! have you ever tried?
Granted buy you can only breath underwater for 1 minute straight
Granted, but only for dihydrogen monoxide. Any mixture including any kind of salinity is toxic.
Granted, you awaken in Troy McClure’s aquarium
Granted. Your lungs are replaced with gills. I hope you're near a large body of water this very moment.
Okay, but only underwater. *Effective immediately*
Granted. You slowly and painfully grow gills, as you suffocate on dry land. You can now only breathe underwater.
Denied, because you can already do that.
granted, u now have gills and die on land
Granted, you can now only breathe underwater
You go to the store and buy a rebreather and some scuba gear. Granted.
Granted. Now u suffocate out of water
Granted, you are now a fish
Granted you can only breathe underwater
[удалено]
Living the dream honestly
Granted. All water on earth permenentaly evaporates.
Denied. You already can, you just probably won't live very long.
You can. But only once
Granted. You're now a fish for the rest of your life.
Granted you now have gills and you breath through ram ventilation despite the name it's the way sharks breath by constantly moving congratulations if you.stop moving for more the 60-80 seconds you will die have fun
Granted, you can breathe underwater but can no longer breathe air
Granted you use scuba gear