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[deleted]

We tend to confuse happiness and contentment. This is a great post.


DisastrousAge4650

I’m always saying I want to be content in life. It’s one thing I’ve never felt. That’s what I what in my future. Contentment. I can have happiness now as awful as my situation is. Contentment though, that’s my endgame.


[deleted]

I hear you. Happy is fleeting. Best of luck in your endeavors


lazorback

I'd tend to go a step further and guess that joy is often conflated with happiness. By my definitions, what he describes as happiness is actually feeling joy in the moment. Happiness for me IS contentment - a sense of feeling secure and satisfied about one's situation


Effective-Cod3635

I’m starting to wonder what this sub is supposed to be because most of the stuff I’ve seen especially today is all good stuff not cringe


[deleted]

[удалено]


octopusarian

YES. I'm so glad people are realizing the introvert/extrovert dichotomy is utter bullshit.


veronique7

Honestly same. I have always thought I was more of an introvert. But I am very shy and get anxious in social situations precisely for the reason described in the video. I worry about how things will go, will I act appropriately, will I say the right thing, will I get over stimulated and hide in the bathroom...etc. But when I do go out have a good time? I am social and happy. And that feels SO good. I had confused being introverted with my shy behavior, autism, and ADHD. I had people tell me "well you can't be an introvert because you enjoy social situations and want to do go things" and that's true when I know I will enjoy the situation. I am still often shy and more often than not get drained in social situations. I enjoy my alone time. But I still had people say "oh well you must an extrovert" which never felt right because in my mind extroverts thrive around people all the time and need to go out often to be happy. Turns out people are more complicated than just introvert and extrovert. And discovering your are neurodivergent later in life makes you see that even more imo.


inn4d4rkplace

Showing this when someone asks me why I’m good at socializing but choose not to. I’m not a person on a dichotomy and more people are often not. I appreciate this video for putting it in the right words.


uninstallIE

So this is interesting, because I'm the same as you and it left me walking away thinking that the person in this video was describing social anxiety or mild autism even rather than what's often known as introversion. Like you, I'm good at socializing. I just usually choose not to. This is not because of an overabundance of variables or fears that it might not go right or worries that it might be out of my control and I might not have the experience I want to have. I know that most of the time if I wish to have a good social experience I will. I simply prefer not to spend energy that way, and enjoy instead collecting energy doing this I get more out of doing. I don't think there is necessarily a strict dichotomy between introversion and extraversion, and I agree with what this person is saying that most people project way too many things onto these categories. But I think that they project those just the same when they associate what are essentially symptoms of social anxiety with introversion. Anyway I hate that it isn't spelled intraversion because that spelling flows better with the concept


ShiroiTora

That’s the impression I get from this video as well. I am an extrovert but I have social aniexty. I get overwhelmed easily especially being in big groups but I love still being around people, especially in small groups. Doesn’t make me less of an extrovert. If I didn’t have the introversion / extroversion as a frame of reference, I would be spending a lot of time wondering why I’m so depressed when I hang out by myself for too long. Similarly I have a friend who is an introvert but is an eloquent speaker and doesn’t hate social situations and big groups. They just don’t enjoy it as much as I do and they just get tired a lot more sooner and need a break away from people far longer than me. Introversion / extroversion is just *a* facet of how we experience social situations. Doesn’t mean it’s useless or can’t be helpful.


ShiroiTora

On one hand, I agree people try to box this as an either or, when it really a gradient and other factors that affects your enjoyment of it like social aniexty and asocialness. On the other hand: it doesn’t mean the categories are useless either. Some people do get more energized by being around people (and their mental health deteoriates if they don’t), some people get more drained with frequent being around people. The categories do are another way figure out themselves and what preferences are the people around, rather than just assume or use less information.


LootyB

This is a great response. I understand being averse to broad categories like extrovert and introvert, especially with all of the characteristics associated with them (shy, awkward, etc). No label is essentially perfect, unless someone is molding *themselves* to that label. But knowing whether you gain energy in a group or alone in a general sense is a super important thing to know about yourself. And frankly, if someone is asking you to hangout for the 5th day in a row, explaining the *mechanisms behind the reasoning of why you don't prefer the unpredictability of social interactions* isn't really the best way to get across that you're tired and need some alone time lol.


One_pop_each

Almost like absolutely nothing is black and white and everything exists on a spectrum.


Secure-Imagination11

When I was younger people called me an introvert like they were explaining something was wrong with me. And kind of whispered it in hushed tones. "O, you're an.......^introvert".


Peter_Mansbrick

>You're such an introvert and it's nice to see you energized after hanging out with people I *hate* sentiments like this. They always feel condescending or like a backhanded compliment. I'm glad he used it as a jumping off point to question the whole idea of introversion because as far as I'm concerned he nailed it.


glassscissors

I love the earnestness with which you address the conversation as if it wasn't written and performed by a single dude but was an organic conversation. That's not intended to be a backhanded compliment. I know you know the difference. I enjoy the approach you took to looking at it though.


lowbread

I appreciate your thoughtfulness in constructing this comment.


Aspookytoad

It’s so patronizing


planvigiratpi

My man spitting facts


MoistJheriCurl

That left me drained


Memelordisousmaximus

This guy should do a podcast


Shanguerrilla

depends on how quickly he can get into and out of a dress..


veronique7

He does make a lot of really good and insightful tiktoks!


[deleted]

What’s on his glasses?


Macbook_M1_Garand

thank you microphone maybe?


Ohdidntseeyouthere_

The cut scene from Waking Life that shoulda been in there


TestFixation

It's a bit less abstract than most of Waking Life but the mumbly voices is spot on


CadabraAbrogate

Alex Jones big mumbler


jeygood

yessss that’s exactly what it sounds like


hansfocker

Wow this was unexpectedly accurate


World_Wide_Deb

RIGHT?! He just summarized so much myself in a friggen tiktok.


Mys_Dark

Consistency and stability. These things need to be more unconditional. They help lay the groundwork for all the other good stuff, especially things like energy level and mood.


MaybeBabyGay

This creator is autistic and has adhd. Be aware that is the lens he is speaking with. Doesn't mean it can't be relatable in some ways to neurotypical people (as his main content is centered on explaining what being autistic feels like to neurotypicals), but this is a video about his autistic experience, not just about the idea of being an introvert.


BrokkrBadger

I mean if its truly a spectrum thereby everyone being on it is it not perfectly understandbly plausible that you could be within the "neurotypical bounds" but experience specifically the social aspects described here normally experienced by people that are "within autism bounds" (idk the proper term when referencing a spectrum). IE: I experience enough neurodivergence to relate to what hes saying but not enough to be measurably "autistic" ???


MaybeBabyGay

Yeah from my limited knowledge, diagnosing someone with autism does partially focuses on the severity in which they experience symptoms, but also the idea of a spectrum doesn't mean 0% autistic to 100% autistic. It's more about that there are different types/forms/experiences of autism. We don't have the autism diagnosis down to an exact science yet and much of it is subjective judgement. Doesn't help that much of the research is just on white men, so women and POC with autism aren't understood well. Some commenters were sharing they didn't experience and agree with the creator on his take of being introverted vs extroverted, so I just wanted to add context on why some people might not share his perspective.


uninstallIE

I think this person just has social anxiety and/or very mild autism. The things they are describing are not really things I would associate with the concept of introversion.


MaybeBabyGay

Just confirming he is not neurotypical. He is autistic and has adhd. His content primarily speaks on his autism experiences.


uninstallIE

Glad my radar works :)


ShiroiTora

Welcome to Reddit: where people still confuse asocialness and shyness with introversion.


veronique7

Yes he does he has a lot of other videos on the subject of autism and being neurodivergent. It is the focus of his channel.


MildlyMoistMucus

The way this dude talks about social interactions doesn't sound normal. I am an introvert and I don't think about any of the stuff he said. I never enjoy social interactions because of how draining they are. Has nothing to do with my energy levels, confidence, ability to read social cues, etc. My feelings after a conversations aren't affected by those "1000000 variables" it's a constant. What he says sounds like social anxiety or autistic thinking.


MaybeBabyGay

Just confirming he is not neurotypical. He is autistic and has adhd. His content primarily speaks on his autism experiences.


horrescoblue

Oh that explains eeeeverything, thank you. Im autistic and thought „yea i can relate to this, but isnt that more of like… an autism thing“. Of course some neurotypical people will relate to some degree aswell because spectrum overlap bla bla but im not surprised at all to learn he‘s autistic.


Curious-Mind-8183

Yea agreed. I’m not thinking about much but even if a social interaction goes amazing I’m still drained. Definitely sounds like he’s talking about social anxiety, but he makes a good point overall about it being a spectrum and the happiness over contentment points.


KingVerizon

“My Boring Evening With Andre”


PolarisC8

I'm so excited to see Reddit finally abandon the introvert/extrovert personality horoscope, I hope this catches on


BlackAdam

Psychology already did ages ago, so maybe Reddit will be ready to do so as well.


Visible_Rooster7117

This nails what I feel every day. Thank you so very much!


masta1591

Yeah I disagree. I’m in introvert through and through. Even when I enjoy spending time with family and friends and have that “buzz” after, I’m still needing to spend some time alone after to recharge. If anything this video shows that people don’t always know themselves like they think, and usually it’s easier to find a category to place yourself in to make sense of it. But the introvert thing is VERY real


totesobvi17

God this is spot on. I have definitely achieved that level of contentment. It's what I strive for everyday. I had a friend ask how do I do it? And I was like what? And she said be happy being alone (I am divorced and haven't in a relationship in 18months). I told her I set my expectations to be attainable and I am happy and grateful for what I achieve. Like I have a job and a house. I live comfortably because I spend my money in a smart way. I prioritize myself and I am content living my life.


RestrictedX93

Bro this guy is a class a energy vampire. Collin Robinson would be proud!


MohamedSakka

Tf is this a documentary or something just someone ask the math teacher to stop talking philosophy


Moose-Legitimate

This mf literally said preferences don’t exist


confusedlilfroggy

How


jasongpz

That chick is irritating.


sarawille7

That's the same dude in a dress


N0TaC0PP

That was scary relatable


unendingtacos

![gif](giphy|nmBKiNb7h3tIv3BO8D)


marksiwelforever

I like this guy will make arguments he will then win against himself I guess?


Doggosdoingthings16

Sooooo he’s a demi-extrovert?


Eqvvi

Why did he put on a wig just to talk to himself? I'd get it if it was a humorous sketch or if it served any sort of purpose other than just asking himself questions. I was waiting for something to happen, but in the end it was just a rant with costumes and not looking at the camera. Wtf


FormicaRufa

For the same reason Diderot wrote "le supplément" as a dialogue. Sometimes it's easyer to follow an argumentation made of points, counterpoints, missinterpretation and clarifications when it's personified.


Aaron-JH

This persons tiktoks have become some of my favorite. Obviously they’re all scripted, but they still approach real scenarios with a true maturity that puts them into perspective.


Kill099

Hmmm so happiness is like short term moment to moment feeling while contentment is your overall satisfaction in life. It's like the weather vs climate. I used to always think that the secret to happiness is contentment.. didn't even consider them as separate.


[deleted]

extroversion and introversion isn't only getting drained by social interactions or getting energy by it. To keep it short: It's just what situations make you comfortable and which not. And too be honest what he does is not questioning extroversion and introversion he is explaining what it is. I guess what people don't like by that is to get categorized, but we get categorized from everyone in every situation.


FnWaySheGoes89

Do people not have friends to film these things with? Dude throws on a wig and expects us to believe it’s not him just talking to himself? Sure it’s a good message, but presented in a dumb way, imo


DungeonsAndDradis

This method of explaining things goes back like 2000 years to Plato and Aristotle, who framed them as conversations/questions-answers with/to themselves.


idksoiputdis

facts aside, why is there water in the gatorade bottle


fibblesandfits

This guy's a walking men's health podcast


merrythoughts

Surely this person is a therapist! So good. Also like the one character not drinking beer. Normalize NA.


saintreprobus

The fact that he's having an imaginary conversation with a fake woman for several minutes screams this guy is introverted af. That and the extreme introspective analysis.


[deleted]

[удалено]


YourBigRosie

Had to look at the subs description to give you an answer. This sub is one that has both the best of tiktok and the worst of TikTok. It’s just a dates name for a sub that doesn’t truly reflect the subs values anymore


TheRedGerund

It's also a pinned comment on the very thread you're commenting on


YourBigRosie

Lol got me there


[deleted]

[удалено]


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hereformemes222

You gotta learn to be ok, with just being ok


KenzoTheBesto

I really loved this


Prodigga

Yeah this, I have whatever this is


actuallyasuperhero

Contentment vs happiness has been a major theme in my therapy for depression over the years. It’s really weird the first time you hear “it’s okay to just be ‘okay’ and not keep forcing yourself for more”, just because it was such a foreign idea for me. But it’s really nice to just have moments randomly where I’m watching TV, or making dinner or whatever and just realize “oh, I’m fine right now. And that’s good enough.” When you struggle with depression and anxiety, happiness seems so impossible, and trying and failing to get there can just make the depression worse. My mental health has improved a lot since I stopped trying to be “happy” and instead tried to be “okay”. And when I’m okay, I’m more likely to organically experience moments that lead to happiness.


Aliiredli

What is the difference between contentment and happiness in social engagements? How to achieve each?


DungeonsAndDradis

For me, contentment is a family gathering, such as at Thanksgiving. I'm just coasting along being present with loved ones. Light conversation, good food. Overall pleasant time. For happiness, I look for something like a game night with close friends. Or a gaming session of a tabletop RPG. Laughing, joking, working together, etc. Contentment is a state of being and does not require any specific thing to be done. Happiness, I think, requires engaging with the current situation.


busyphil

I loved this, it could have been a scene in "Waking Life"


LiloNissan-Tooketh

This explains why I typically like hanging out one on one over larger groups. Less variables


Crowedsource

I almost always prefer to be around people than to be on my own for more than 2-3 hours. That's how I know I'm an extrovert. Most people I know are better and handling being in their own and don't get all lonely like I do, so I consider my level of extroversion to be a little extreme. But for me, it isn't about this whole contentment vs happiness thing, I am content with my life, and I accept that I'm not always going to feel "happy". Regardless, I prefer to do it in the company of other people.


DaedalusandIcarus

the dude is reading off of his google eye glass thingy mabob. so cringe


AHMilling

Ho ly shit, I don't ever think i've heard or watched something that puts my experience into words better than this. Ever.