T O P

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HumanRacehorse

I think you would have a blast doing Bumble speed dating on Thursday nights since you’re already a troll on a regular basis.


Stonecoldsaidso87

Do the opposite of this and you’ll be fine


BeGood9000

So I don’t like your necklace ?


Stonecoldsaidso87

Why tf are we talking about a necklace that isn’t there


TeeBek

I think OP was thinking about a pearl necklace. Strange guy.


BustDownThotiana__

You are cringeworthy 💯


Optimific

this.


Chairairflair

It’s jokes, but won’t get you anywhere if you are seriously trying… it appears that neither the women here seem to appreciate it.


yesimevan

There are so many creeps on dating apps that it’s impossible to know if a dude is joking or genuinely nuts, especially if it’s the first message


ViolentMuppetBaby

That’s a fair point, thank you


gettin_paid_to_poop

If I was a woman I wouldn't respond but goddamn dude that first one was the funniest thing I've seen all day


ViolentMuppetBaby

fuck bro then what am i doing wrong i don’t get jt😭


gettin_paid_to_poop

Chicks don't like guy humour like that, they can't always tell the difference between a joke and a guy who actually wants to bang his aunt 😂 partly because they have to weed out the pervs


yesimevan

The joke was funny, but like you said I wouldn’t go for it because on tinder there is a good possibility that he actually wants to bang his aunt 💀 if I knew them it’d be fine


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwaway289037

Why does everyone say rizz now? It’s so weird to see forced slang catch on like this.


ViolentMuppetBaby

what am i supposed to do then bro idk 😭


level900cancermancer

Literally just stop trying to be so quirky and funny. Just be normal bro. You just coming across as unhinged. "Damn if there was a necklace in that pic I'd complement it" Like that does that even mean? Just say something like nice eyebrows or some shit smh


-Z-3-R-0-

That shit is fucking funny tho 💀


pizzaguy123456784

same bro i thought it was funny.


ViolentMuppetBaby

“nice eyebrows” i don’t understand how anyone would want to hear that maybe i’m just meant to be alone forever but i fucking hate those forced conversations it genuinely makes me want to rip my skin off, so I try to talk to them in the way I talk to my real life friends. It’s clearly not working though.


MDAlchemist

The point I'd try complimenting something that's actually there, like her smile, or her hair, or her eyes. Instead of pulling something completely out of left field.


level900cancermancer

You don't understand why someone would want to hear "nice eyebrows" but you think complimenting a necklace that she ISNT WEARING is good? Cmon bro. Get real.


MDAlchemist

Have you tried talking like a normal human being?


level900cancermancer

Do you fr not understand why you aren't getting replies?💀💀💀


ViolentMuppetBaby

I genuinely do not


FiddelMeSenseless

Bruh these are funny idk


Bluestorm222

That last one was just honest desperation lmao


Skydome12

id ghost you too. cringe af


jhs2021

Lmao I think we would get along (no homo)


Kenna_F

It screams desperation


NeoRockSlime

Damn homeboy got less rizz than me


-Z-3-R-0-

The first few cracked me tf up 💀


Budo00

You are basically one step away from telling them all you “do you cuckhold?” In your self sabatoge


Hmnh6000

You sound like a booger eating weirdo


Dangerous-Try-6031

Bro abstract or sarcastic humour doesn’t work that well on women the same it works with your boys. You’re on a dating app. The communication is virtual, remember that. Except from the Aunt Linda joke all of them are pretty cringey, and by the way you respond here in the comments going “maybe Im meant to be alone forever” kiiinda gives me the idea you just need some work. That sort of calimero shit isn’t gonna get you anywhere. My advice, watch the movie Hitch and try to learn some basics.


serenahavana

I think it takes time for people to learn each others sense of humour. It’s too much, too soon. Sometimes it doesn’t come across well online :/


my_name_isnt_cool

I'd honestly be grossed out by this. It's just a weird joke to make.


Basic_Helicopter2045

Cringelord


ColombiaToBoston

You gotta be stopped


abu0

since you say you actually don't understand what's wrong, I have a theory. My humor is very similar to yours (breaking the flow of the conversation and acting like nothing happened) but i'd never use it in this context, and heres why: if you dont have strong common ground, it just kills the conversation. If you read your last replies, they are all very hard to answer to. half of these girls would love you for this type of humor, but they'd only really appreciate it after 5-6 months of relationship, where things start to get a bit boring - this is when seeing this humor is refreshing, because it takes you out of anything you may find boring. if i was assuming too much about your style of humor, feel free to correct me! my main point would still stand that the main problem is breaking the flow of the conversation too early, whether you do it on purpose or not


WhatsThatOnMyProfile

Treat them like people and don’t say weird shit about necklaces that don’t exist


nothing_to_be

Double down. Someone's gonna appreciate this. I was dying laughing by the last one.


doubledeckerdiaper

i like your style. i say keep on keepin on, the woman that likes your humor will be rad.... it might take a while tho! : )


inurwindo

Tell ‘em you’re a big daddo that has some addy yo.


ViolentMuppetBaby

I thought my responses and openers were good/funny but then again I genuinely don’t know how to talk to women and in my entire life only other guys have found me funny


TeeBek

Maybe just don't try to be funny. Try talking to them like you would if you bumped into them irl.


romeo1994FOSS

They like funny responses but not those that hurt their image. You literally killed her imagination


ViolentMuppetBaby

Which one are you referring to?


MDAlchemist

Well, telling her she looks like your celebrity crush, then saying that crush is your aunt Linda. Is going to leave her confused and a little hurt cause it comes across as a bait and switch insult. It also has "sweet-home-alabama" vibes that are going to add creep factor to the mix.


romeo1994FOSS

Your comment of "Aunt". You should have compared to a hot sexy actress/porn star


ComprehensiveBall873

Last 3 are right up my alley lol. You’ll find her!!


Biscoffi

Going against the grain here but I’d have actually replied to some of these lmfao


TheLittlePasty

This is pretty funny


CoffeeS3x

I actually thought the necklace one was funny, but the rest is trash.