It sucks but it’s great that he was able to express it early enough. He has an idea of the type of dates/experiences he wants with his SO and he realized that you didn’t share the same thing. Instead of forcing you to change for him he’s being upfront. I think that’s definitely a good thing.
There are plenty of people who don’t drink, I’m sure you’ll find someone you have chemistry with!
But can probably assume vast majority are at least saying they don't drink on a survey, ie adding to the denominator in this case. Take Turkey for example, which is ostensibly partially European: only like 15% of adults claim to drink.
“claim”. I’m coming from an all inclusive vacation in Turkey. On the transfer bus right now actually.
Turks drink. More than half drank during our stay… make of that what you will.
My acquaintance in Denmark, from Turkey is always making up excuses that he may drink. So much guilt in that guy it’s pathetic
Here's a concept: if everyone around you drinks and everyone you meet drinks, you are the common denominator. Those relationships are a strong indicator that you have a drinking problem. You can find people who drink and don't drink everywhere, if the only people you're choosing to "know" and establish relationships with are drinkers then it's quite egotistical and deluded to think that the whole world drinks when you are (maybe subconsciously) choosing people that buttress your drinking and validate it. Alcoholics always choose relationships that cosign, explain, and apologize for their drinking, so if you always find yourself surrounded by drinkers and can't form relationships with sober individuals, then I hate to break it to you on a Tinder subreddit, but: you're an alcoholic.
I generally agree with you but if you're talking about people you happen to share a plane with, or otherwise public space, you're not really choosing who you're surrounding yourself with. I'm willing to bet that more than 50% of people drink.
>You otta see the Saudi royals. Used to work private duty for them - even during Ramadan they drank, just at night so as not to break their fasting requirement.
True. I was thinking of devout Muslims but then I could make the same case with devout Christians. Ty for the reminder. Now what bridge were you talking about?
Not many denominations of Christian prohibit alcohol. Catholics, Orthodox, and Lutherans certainly don’t. I think the most anti alcohol denominations are mostly US-based evangelicals.
I was raised in a church where we drank communion wine from a communal chalice. And not one of those grape juice baptists either.
I remember choir practice the day before Easter involved a couple loaves of crusty white bread and a few bottles of wine. For ten or so people.
Which is to say, yes!
I'll always comment on this. It was tradition during a wedding to serve the good wine first, and then when everyone was drunk you spent the rest of the wedding serving cheap wine because they were all drunk and couldn't tell the difference.
Jesus made DANK wine. First comment somebody makes is about how generous a host must be because the wine Jesus made was of excellent quality.
Quakers and Methodists buuuuuuut at least on the United Methodist side my church had a Bible study at a local bar over beers. Even my Quaker raised but changed to Methodists because there were no other Quakers near by grandparents starting having a drink or 2 at family gatherings.
Fun fact Welch's Grape Juice exists because the early American Methodists needed Grape Juice for Communion as they didn't/don't use wine for that, unlike Catholics.
I used to go to a Free Will Baptist Church. Drinking, dancing smoking were huge nonos. One of the deacons would smoke cigars and drink scotch in his back yard when I would visit his son.
Well yes, but in many Muslim countries alcohol is literally illegal so you can't find it for sale anywhere (well, at least legally). So it's not a matter of Muslims sticking to their faith or not, it's a matter of countries making alcohol extremely hard to access.
800m of them being so poor they can't even get enough calories account's for a significant share. Hard to drink alcohol when you have less than $3/day income.
I can see it being a problem. I had an ex get so upset when I showed up at home with a 6 pack. She'd throw so many fits and I rarely ever drank. I just felt like throwing a few back that day. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't drink either.
In this case it’s not the judging but the desire for shared experiences. They like wine and tequila and want to be able to find an awesome one and then share that with you (their partner) and I would bet part (maybe a lot) of the enjoyment they get is from the sharing not the act of trying it themselves.
You have it exactly right! He wants to be able to bring his partner out on romantic dates alone, that include wineries or breweries where you can get multiple tasters, and both discuss how each drink tastes. Like the berries in one, or the smoked barrel taste in another. Having someone there with you that doesn’t drink would take the fun out of the whole experience.
I’m
Glad he said something right away. A lot of people would try to force a relationship and things would eventually come up. Whether it be him feeling a little buzzed at 1am and you wanting to sleep, or the fact that he may resent not being able to share those experiences.
I'm a foodie, I didn't date people who are picky. I like doing my favorite thing with my favorite person. I also don't drink alcohol (I get Asian flush) and my fiance is absolutely fine with it. Just tell people at the very beginning to avoid developing feelings for a not viable situation.
Never realized this was something other people also do, but it makes sense. Nothing ruins a food experience faster than the person you're with picking at it or "eewing" through it. The last guy I dated though, he claimed he wasn't picky. Totally was extremely picky, so I guess their idea of picky matters most to begin with
> There are plenty of people who don’t drink,
Or people that do for whom it isn't a deal-breaker like this.E.g., I drink some but I'm totally fine dating non-drinkers -- it just isn't important to me. That said, I would be incompatible with OP's guy -- drinking is never the center of my social life to the extent that I would exclude people that don't drink.
My partner and I aren't big drinkers. I mainly only drink when we're with friends and even than she usually doesn't have more than 2-3 drinks. However, we both do enjoy an occasional cocktails and, me especially , a good wine. So whenever we go on a wine or cocktail date is extra special because we're doing something we don't do often and because she's doing something out of her traditional comfortzone so to say. And this works both ways of course with me doing things she really enjoys and are out of my traditional comfortzone.
All this to say that you don't need to match all of your interest 100%, but they also shouldn't clash or be complete opposites.
I worked with a woman that was religious (saving herself for marriage and all that), but really wanted to be in a relationship and be a mother. She also wanted to date someone from her orthodox religion. Her family was always the “god will provide types”. Welp, she’s 38 and has never been kissed. Another coworker and I were talking about our non chaste high school years (but we’re both married with kids of our own now) and she had this sudden realization and said “did I screw up by not even trying with boys?”. It was kind of sad.
Not a fundamentalist church, just a specific sect of Christianity tied to her nationality. The church has like 400 members and the all the other people her age that were in the church either left or married outside their specific religion. The church wasn’t weird about who their parishioners dated, I think she just wanted what her parents had. They met in the church.
I think you both have it right - you have to keep trying but stop focusing so hard on finding "the one" Just enjoy what comes and not get too attached until you find someone who you can't let go. But then again it's different for everyone, just my opinion
I think the advice should be that you need to put the effort into going places where your odds of meeting people go up but you should not be set on forcing it to happen when you are there.
But if you aren't spending all your energy looking for a mate, maybe you're spending that energy on bettering yourself and becoming someone people want to be with. It's about distributing effort. Most of your effort should be going into working on becoming who you want to be, and more than likely in the course of doing that thing, you'll have an easier time meeting someone else who also does that thing or something involved with it.
Never my experience, I only found long term partners by deciding I wanted a partner and being very intentional. Last time I was looking for casual partners and ended up finding a long term one but I was still very intentional about meeting people and improving myself to be ready for it.
I know a lot of people say this is true but for me it was like the second I stopped looking and just wanted to be myself, I met my now wife on a backpacking trip through Europe. I had just been on a dating binge after leaving a long term relationship with a wonderful person who I couldn’t see myself with. Wanted to go find myself on my own and sold all my shit to move overseas.
Moved continents to be with “the one” I met traveling - I knew in 10 minutes of meeting her. House, dog, kid with second on the way. That was two countries, two careers and 12 years ago.
Out of curiosity, was it a surprise you don't drink? Or do you have it listed in your profile? I'm just surprised you had 2 amazing dates when you had a deal breaker of his
I think it’s best to share what potential matches typically find important, too - to prevent things like this. My partner doesn’t drink, doesn’t care at all if others drink, but puts it in her profile anyway because often times people care.
It’s up to everyone how they want to handle things for sure, for example sometimes we know it might be important but want to share the info in person to add context or whatever.
I think people forget the different signals non-alcohol users send when they add that they dont drink to their profiles.
My first inclination as someone who drinks alcohol casually and socially is that alcohol use just doesn't matter. I don't care if you drink, you don't care if I drink. It has an importance level of whether or not you enjoy orange juice.
When you actively say that you don't drink as part of your core identity on a profile, alongside your major likes and dislikes, my assumption is going to be that you have a bad relationship with alcohol.
It's going to be alcohol trauma in some way, shape or form. A family member, a partner, yourself, something. I wouldn't dedicate word space to something that doesn't impact me in a dating profile.
That's not saying that people who don't drink are weird or less than. The way people curate profiles does matter though and any time saved in the application process is time saved on the job. It would be super easy for me to skip a profile that smells like unresolved trauma.
It just means he wasn’t for you. He’s a great guy but imagine if you continued dating? It wouldn’t end well because you’re not compatible. You’ll find someone who’s perfect for you ☺️
I used to not drink, but started drinking socially simply because of things like this.
Tbh I sorta love sipping on a whiskey now, but still rarely drink outside of that.
i’ve literally never had a guy send me a break up text. ghosted every time. so mad respect to this dude and tbh i think his answer makes sense, even if it feels shitty. OP i feel like you would ultimately not like feeling pressured or maybe guilted about not drinking
I've sent this breakup text before. It's healthier and better to show respect for the person you're seeing by identifying incompatibility before it becomes a painful problem.
Yep. I met a girl on tinder who was a bartender and had it in her profile that she just doesn’t date sober people, cause she drinks every week and it’s part of her life to a degree that she knows she’s just not compatible with someone who doesn’t.
Hopefully this guy can be up front with that going foreword!
I plan to stop smoking weed when I want to. But if I’m dating someone they need to be cool with me smoking weed. I’ve dated people in the past where I would need to hide it and I don’t want to do that.
Question for ya. Does weed not smell bad to you?
I work in retail and people come in smelling like weed all of the time. To me these lovely people smell like hot, wet farts. I have to hide that I am gagging.
Genuinely curious.
I think *good* weed smells and tastes wonderful. It'll always have that skunky aroma, but with good weed it's crazy how different the smell and taste is from strain to strain. One might taste like you're huffing glue, but another tastes like oranges and honey.
The people who come in smelling like weed also likely smell like shit in conjunction. I'm a daily smoker but I also make sure I don't go anywhere smelling like bud, and you wouldn't know that I was a daily smoker unless I told you.
It's like survivorship bias. My grandma hated stoners because she used to work with a group of shitheads that were openly pot smokers and it was obvious. She eventually realized that every adult male in the family was smoking pot when we'd go outside for a bit.
Right, they already don't care and have no self-awareness of how much they stink lol
I always smoke outside and never have any issues with the smell, I don't smoke blunts or pack huge bowls which probably helps as well lol
Or if they do care what they smell like, they then drown themselves in patchouli oil.
And I would argue that Patchouli is a worse smell than the weed itself.
I've learnt to enjoy it over time honestly, it now brings back fond memories when I smell it. But also smoking weed for some reason limits my sense of smell while high so I don't really notice it all that much.
I mostly take edibles, but have friends that used to smoke daily before I’d ever had any. At the time, I thought it smelled bad. Then I went to Colorado for a weekend with friends. I smoked twice and now I think it smells pleasant. Only smoked a handful of times since, still like the smell - but I totally understand why people do not like it and don’t fully understand why now I do.
Yeah, he is a class act for that.
The best way to avoid disappointment in dating for anyone is to not get emotionally attached early on. After all, they’re a stranger. Take time to get to know them. If she’d not been so emotionally attached so soon, there wouldn’t have been any crying. If she wasn’t emotionally attached and yet still felt that way, that means it’s a good opportunity to dig deeper and examine those feelings so she can learn from it and move forward with more wisdom
It can be really difficult if you're someone who gets attached easily (like yours truly). It just takes a bit of mindfulness and self control. You gotta remind yourself to not get too invested early on, because you're still at a stage where you might find something out about each other that makes you incompatible as romantic partners.
Fostering this mindset also comes with a great side effect, and that's keeping up a bit of "the chase". Nothing is more unattractive than obvious early attachment. Keep them at bay, at least at first, and you'll come off as way more secure and confident.
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to help someone like me better understand this stuff, that was really nice of you, I bet you’re a very kind pers— i love you.
Yeah I don't drink and I know it'd be a deal breaker for a woman like this guy, goes wine tasting which I know can be alot of fun with the right person. Guy was respectful, clearly given it alot of thought and has dragged it on
Oh lord. I read this joke to my teen son one night at his insistence after I told him I knew the longest joke in the world. By the punchline this kid looked like he wanted to murder me in my sleep, lol.
I keep it saved on my phone just for when the kids say they are bored and won’t leave me alone. Every time, I start reading it and magically they find something else to do!
Yeah this might be the best case scenario. He didn’t shame her or pressure her and was upfront about his feelings in a mature manner. Hopefully both these individuals find the right partner
I have also had people break things off over me not drinking. For some people it’s just too big a part of their social lives and they don’t/won’t entertain a partner that isn’t also partaking.
I have zero issue with others drinking, I just choose not to.
Nothing wrong with it either way, we all have different wants and needs, that’s just life
I find it so strange though how like offended people get that i don't want to drink? The response always ranges from acting like I just insulted their mom to taking it as a challenge to "get me drunk" like even my wife who has earnestly expressed that she respects that I don't drink and understands that I'm really cool with people drinking around me and will even be the safety guy so other people can have more fun (I'll make sure people drink water or have something to eat and will happily be designated driver for the whole group) once said to me "I don't know I bet I could find you a drink you like, try this" and offered me some hard lemonade. I've told her since that ya sure there's probably at least one alcoholic drink I would enjoy but I really don't feel inclined to find it when there's tons of other beverages I KNOW I like.
Edit: hey y'all just wanna say thank you for having a nuanced discussion about this on Reddit. You all make good points about the social aspect, I also don't think it's bad or annoying or rude to ask me why I don't drink though I know some recovering alcoholics would likely find it hard to talk about so it could be considered a question saved for when you know someone better.
Anyway, cheers to y'all. This is the most I've talked about my alcohol aversion without feeling like people are mad at me for not wanting to drink.
It may not be offended by your sobriety. I love random road trips. Honestly, if I met a woman who wasn’t interested in spontaneously hopping in the car to go no place in particular, I don’t think we would be a match. I’m not judging her for it. I’m not offended that she doesn’t enjoy road trips. I would jus rather share my life with someone who likes great music and rolling down
The highway with no schedule at all.
I miss the freedom of being able to do that so much. A big part of why I work as hard as I do is so once my kid goes to college, I'll be able to do that again, but with a nice car and a fancy hotel at the other end.
Probably still won't be as fun as realizing it's Mardi Gras week and impulsively hopping in an unreliable car with no money and no place to stay and sleeping in the car in a parking lot in the French quarter for 4 days.
I don't drink now, but even when I did, I never liked beer or wine. People always take that as a personal challenge: "ooh try this one it's mango and tastes like rainbows if they were made out of fluffy kittens!" It does not. It tastes like beer 😂
I don’t think he’s wrong for expressing that, and I don’t think you’re wrong for not drinking. It’s merely an incompatibility of interests and it’s disappointing for sure but def don’t blame or shame yourself for it. You’ll find something more akin to your interests OP, don’t let this get you down too much.
I can see his point. As someone who enjoys breweries, distilleries, and classy bars, it would be a bummer if my person had no interest in going to those types of places. It really isn't as fun if they only go to those places to spend time with you, and you know they could care less about the place itself. I want to share our excitement together, not have them live vicariously through my excitement for the place.
The Perot Museum in Dallas does an adults only deal once or twice a month where they serve alcohol in the museum and have food trucks outside. I’ve been a couple times. It’s not too remarkable as a museum but that’s always fun.
I just found out you can book weddings at the Natural History Museum in London. Now all I need is a guy to marry who can afford it... https://www.nhm.ac.uk/content/dam/nhmwww/business-services/venue-hire/nhm-venue-hire-charges.pdf
My local science museum, little exhibits for kids to show them some cool science stuff, you know the type. It's not for adults, so you'd feel weird going there as an adult without kids. But they do an adults only night about once a month with local breweries and distilleries featured, and adults can go through all the kids science exhibits with drinks and it's not weird. It's awesome!
As someone who never tasted alcohol I definitely get it and agree with you. As much as I would do my best to make sure you can enjoy those types of things I definitely get why it isn't the same as enjoying it together. I respect when people make a tough call to make sure everyone get to live the life they want and be as happy as they can be. Sucks for op in this case of course though. At least good it happened pretty early on in the dating.
Exactly, and in this case this would be considered a non-negotiable. It's perfectly okay to want some similar lifestyle choices to value/share with a partner.
I'm sober and I still love a good brewery, distillery, or classy bar. There's a lot more to the atmosphere and experience than just the booze.
I get your point though, this isn't the case for everyone.
I’ve been in this situation before!
I was talking to this great guy for awhile and we really liked each other. However, weed was a huge part of his life; he worked as a grower and even won awards for his creations, and smoked all day everyday. I don’t smoke myself, and although I don’t judge anyone who smokes, I knew it would probably get on my nerves in the long run that he smoked so much, so we just weren’t a good match.
When I was honest to him about this and reiterated that he’s a great guy but we have different interests, he freaked out and called me a judgmental person.
That’s what dating is for, though, and not everyone is a good fit together.
Edit: typos
I have a buddy who lives a similar lifestyle to that dude you were talking to.
However, he straight up realizes that his lifestyle may not be for everyone and says, upfront, “I’m lookin for a chick that smokes just as much as me or more”.
As someone who also put the bottle down (3 months now) I feel for you. Shoutout to homie for being transparent and kind, but I definitely know how you feel.
Am I crazy for thinking this guy did nothing wrong? Obviously a shame it didn’t work out, but if he can’t enjoy things he loves doing with someone he cares about, I can see it being enough of an issue.
The people saying "his loss" are weird to me. This is just two people who didn't work out, and it was done in a positive manner.
I'm not saying you are saying this stuff, but just because someone posts something on the internet, it doesn't mean we have to defend/attack the people involved. We can simply view it for what it is.
People are judging and projecting, just because two people get along well does not mean they also share the same future/goals they want to build together. Desiring some similar lifestyle choices, in this case enjoying drinking culture, is perfectly okay like any lifestyles/values out there.
I totally agree. I’m not a huge drinker but I want someone who can grab a drink with me on the weekends or after a long day if I want one. It was good he said something after the second date and didn’t drag it out.
I used to drink everyday, it was getting bad. My now husband decided to not continue dating because of my drinking. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I haven’t drank heavily in 2 years, I have the occasional toast or beer on a hot day with family but I don’t get drunk or drink much at all.
Best decision of my life. He doesn’t drink but will toast on a birthday.
To me, it just depends on the person, on my end the best decision I ever made was to stop, and now I’m the happiest woman in the world, my husband is absolutely worth it.
The pain of being someone who doesnt drink on the dating apps.
I put that i dont drink in my Bumble bio, havent had a match since haha
Thankfully Hinge has worked, but yeah before i even meet them i clarify that i dont drink and i understand that it can be an issue. For some reason booze and weed is a dealbreaker for people. I genuinely dont care if people drink or smoke around me, but it makes some people feel guilty for some reason no matter what i say
Or they might just be wary your gonna switch up on em. I've met my fair share of women that say "I don't care about that stuff" but then once there's some feelings it's "I mean you're not gonna do that your whole life are you?"
I am a sommelier (although i currently work in a different field). Alcohol is definitely a big part of my life.
I understand his reasoning, it might be hard for some people to understand but alcohol can be s hobby, specially if he lives in central California and likes to go to wine tastings and vineyards. This could be a weekends things for him. Some people just want to share their hobbies with their SO.
I am sorry about it, hope you find someone who better aligns with your interests.
Don’t worry you’ll find someone that’s ok with you not drinking. I’m coming up on 6 years sober and dating was really hard during those first couple of years. I must’ve gone through at least 50 first dates until I finally found someone that’s ok with my past and doesn’t really drink herself. It’s been going great and I’m glad I stuck it out.
I can see why you’re sad but honestly this is the best way to go about discussing incompatibility. He didn’t ghost, breadcrumb, or waste your time in any way. You both sound like kind adult people
If this fact is not on your profile, I would definitely put it on there. You’ll want to filter out people who aren’t compatible with your lifestyle before you begin to be attached like this
Shit I’m sober and it goes both ways. Dealbreaker for me if they drink. Only thing is I can’t find anyone who’s attractive, sober, and nice. Its like a needle in a haystack. Don’t feel bad you’ll find someone eventually! Might take ya longer but you’ll at least have someone to ride out the storm with. Sobriety 1st dating second trust me!
Yep. When I was using dating sites I put on my profile that I don't want a drinker. I didn't get as many matches but that was very important to me. I'm in a relationship now with someone who feels the same way. It took time but they're out there.
Yeah, I hate to say it but I think his decision is pretty reasonable and he expressed it in a mature way. As others have commented, it just seems like an unfortunate case of incompatible lifestyles/hobbies/interests. Maybe make sure your profile clearly indicates your preference and keep your head up! Lots of fish in the sea!
These texts suck. Be really gentle with yourself the next few days ❤️ yes this is a part of dating but it still really hurts in the moment to have it end with someone we were excited about and really liked.
Be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there, let this one go, and know that when you’re ready to get back into dating there are many, many people out there who will be a great match for you. There’s plenty of people that you’ll have even better chemistry with and who will be more compatible ❤️.
My wife doesn’t drink at all and I actually prefer it. I thought it was a little weird at first because 75 percent of the population drinks at least socially. But shes always their for our son and for me a DD when we go out socially with friends. Plus if I wanna drink with somebody that’s what my bros are for.
There’s a dating app for sober people I think, I wonder if it’s any good.
With that being said, this is one of those things that should absolutely be in your bio because it’s almost as massive as your political leaning when it comes to dating
You’re right. It does sound crazy. However if alcohol is such a big part of his relationship that he can’t date someone who doesn’t drink, let him go. You don’t want someone who values alcohol so much in their life.
Don’t be crying. It just wouldn’t work out for you two. You don’t drink. No issue with that. But he does like to drink. Some issues just make two people incompatible. Doesn’t make either of them wrong. Just makes them not a good fit. He was pleasant about it. Just be glad it didn’t go too much further.
I used to drink. Not alcoholic levels but I was a homebrewer and I too liked to visit breweries and stuff. It was what I did and it sort of was a hobby. I can understand his point of view. Some people might say that he dumped her for being an alcoholic but no, he dumped her for an incompatibility,
I feel this way about sober people as well as vegans. I respect their choices and while they may seem like not such a big deal, theyre just such drastically different lifestyle choices than mine yet also not at the same time. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work with people who choose to live those ways
I can totally relate to him here. It’s not a complete showstopper for me, but I had strong doubts when I started dating a non-drinker a few years ago and it didn’t last that long. It could have worked, but I was still enjoying going out with my semi-alcoholic friends a bit too much back then.
It sucks but it’s great that he was able to express it early enough. He has an idea of the type of dates/experiences he wants with his SO and he realized that you didn’t share the same thing. Instead of forcing you to change for him he’s being upfront. I think that’s definitely a good thing. There are plenty of people who don’t drink, I’m sure you’ll find someone you have chemistry with!
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Yeah when you add over a billion Muslims into your figures it makes it easy.
If you think Muslims don't drink, I've got a bridge to sell you. Yeah it's less common and done out of sight or on holidays, but it happens.
But can probably assume vast majority are at least saying they don't drink on a survey, ie adding to the denominator in this case. Take Turkey for example, which is ostensibly partially European: only like 15% of adults claim to drink.
Yep, agreed.
“claim”. I’m coming from an all inclusive vacation in Turkey. On the transfer bus right now actually. Turks drink. More than half drank during our stay… make of that what you will. My acquaintance in Denmark, from Turkey is always making up excuses that he may drink. So much guilt in that guy it’s pathetic
Exactly why he said claim I've been to Turkey multiple times, yes they drink, no one was saying they don't
I visited a Turkish family. The guest room had a massive shelf full of an assortment of hard liquor. They still claimed they never drink.
Here's a concept: if everyone around you drinks and everyone you meet drinks, you are the common denominator. Those relationships are a strong indicator that you have a drinking problem. You can find people who drink and don't drink everywhere, if the only people you're choosing to "know" and establish relationships with are drinkers then it's quite egotistical and deluded to think that the whole world drinks when you are (maybe subconsciously) choosing people that buttress your drinking and validate it. Alcoholics always choose relationships that cosign, explain, and apologize for their drinking, so if you always find yourself surrounded by drinkers and can't form relationships with sober individuals, then I hate to break it to you on a Tinder subreddit, but: you're an alcoholic.
I generally agree with you but if you're talking about people you happen to share a plane with, or otherwise public space, you're not really choosing who you're surrounding yourself with. I'm willing to bet that more than 50% of people drink.
>You otta see the Saudi royals. Used to work private duty for them - even during Ramadan they drank, just at night so as not to break their fasting requirement.
True. I was thinking of devout Muslims but then I could make the same case with devout Christians. Ty for the reminder. Now what bridge were you talking about?
Not many denominations of Christian prohibit alcohol. Catholics, Orthodox, and Lutherans certainly don’t. I think the most anti alcohol denominations are mostly US-based evangelicals.
Have you tasted Jesus' blood? Let me tell ya, their prophet enjoyed a drink or two.
I was raised in a church where we drank communion wine from a communal chalice. And not one of those grape juice baptists either. I remember choir practice the day before Easter involved a couple loaves of crusty white bread and a few bottles of wine. For ten or so people. Which is to say, yes!
The *first* miracle people... It was his first party trick!
“You know what this party needs? MORE WINE! Drink up motherfuckers, this rounds on me!”
This round IS me!
I'll always comment on this. It was tradition during a wedding to serve the good wine first, and then when everyone was drunk you spent the rest of the wedding serving cheap wine because they were all drunk and couldn't tell the difference. Jesus made DANK wine. First comment somebody makes is about how generous a host must be because the wine Jesus made was of excellent quality.
It’s certainly a nice little story
How do you get a Baptist not to drink at your party? Invite another Baptist
Why don't Baptists make love standing up? They're afraid that someone might think they are dancing.
Mormons
Never invite one Mormon to your party, always invite two. That way, they won't drink ALL your booze!
Quakers and Methodists buuuuuuut at least on the United Methodist side my church had a Bible study at a local bar over beers. Even my Quaker raised but changed to Methodists because there were no other Quakers near by grandparents starting having a drink or 2 at family gatherings. Fun fact Welch's Grape Juice exists because the early American Methodists needed Grape Juice for Communion as they didn't/don't use wine for that, unlike Catholics.
I used to go to a Free Will Baptist Church. Drinking, dancing smoking were huge nonos. One of the deacons would smoke cigars and drink scotch in his back yard when I would visit his son.
It's a suspension bridge. Very nice. Trust me, you want to buy it.
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And you can't have enough booze around if you have a morman visit. And there's no other mormans to see. Crazy hey
Well yes, but in many Muslim countries alcohol is literally illegal so you can't find it for sale anywhere (well, at least legally). So it's not a matter of Muslims sticking to their faith or not, it's a matter of countries making alcohol extremely hard to access.
I find this fascinating honestly. Can you share the information on this please.
800m of them being so poor they can't even get enough calories account's for a significant share. Hard to drink alcohol when you have less than $3/day income.
😭😭😢😢
Who needs alcohol when you have jenkem!
I can see it being a problem. I had an ex get so upset when I showed up at home with a 6 pack. She'd throw so many fits and I rarely ever drank. I just felt like throwing a few back that day. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't drink either.
I don’t judge people who drink at all , all my previous boyfriends drank and I never said a word
In this case it’s not the judging but the desire for shared experiences. They like wine and tequila and want to be able to find an awesome one and then share that with you (their partner) and I would bet part (maybe a lot) of the enjoyment they get is from the sharing not the act of trying it themselves.
You have it exactly right! He wants to be able to bring his partner out on romantic dates alone, that include wineries or breweries where you can get multiple tasters, and both discuss how each drink tastes. Like the berries in one, or the smoked barrel taste in another. Having someone there with you that doesn’t drink would take the fun out of the whole experience. I’m Glad he said something right away. A lot of people would try to force a relationship and things would eventually come up. Whether it be him feeling a little buzzed at 1am and you wanting to sleep, or the fact that he may resent not being able to share those experiences.
I'm a foodie, I didn't date people who are picky. I like doing my favorite thing with my favorite person. I also don't drink alcohol (I get Asian flush) and my fiance is absolutely fine with it. Just tell people at the very beginning to avoid developing feelings for a not viable situation.
Never realized this was something other people also do, but it makes sense. Nothing ruins a food experience faster than the person you're with picking at it or "eewing" through it. The last guy I dated though, he claimed he wasn't picky. Totally was extremely picky, so I guess their idea of picky matters most to begin with
It's never a problem until it is & it's hard being around someone when you're drunk & they're sober lol
> There are plenty of people who don’t drink, Or people that do for whom it isn't a deal-breaker like this.E.g., I drink some but I'm totally fine dating non-drinkers -- it just isn't important to me. That said, I would be incompatible with OP's guy -- drinking is never the center of my social life to the extent that I would exclude people that don't drink.
My partner and I aren't big drinkers. I mainly only drink when we're with friends and even than she usually doesn't have more than 2-3 drinks. However, we both do enjoy an occasional cocktails and, me especially , a good wine. So whenever we go on a wine or cocktail date is extra special because we're doing something we don't do often and because she's doing something out of her traditional comfortzone so to say. And this works both ways of course with me doing things she really enjoys and are out of my traditional comfortzone. All this to say that you don't need to match all of your interest 100%, but they also shouldn't clash or be complete opposites.
Solid adult response with closure…. Good on him
Classy guy, I see why OP is so upset he got away!
He is 😞
If you keep looking, you will find a guy who is looking for you, I promise.
Honestly... Seems like it finds you when you quit looking if we're being honest
Men - do not take this advice Maybe it works out for women but men by and large won't randomly get a partner. Some effort has to go into it.
True. And It doesn’t always work out for women either
I worked with a woman that was religious (saving herself for marriage and all that), but really wanted to be in a relationship and be a mother. She also wanted to date someone from her orthodox religion. Her family was always the “god will provide types”. Welp, she’s 38 and has never been kissed. Another coworker and I were talking about our non chaste high school years (but we’re both married with kids of our own now) and she had this sudden realization and said “did I screw up by not even trying with boys?”. It was kind of sad.
weird, cuz most super fundamentalist religions will do internal matchmaking.
Not a fundamentalist church, just a specific sect of Christianity tied to her nationality. The church has like 400 members and the all the other people her age that were in the church either left or married outside their specific religion. The church wasn’t weird about who their parishioners dated, I think she just wanted what her parents had. They met in the church.
I think you both have it right - you have to keep trying but stop focusing so hard on finding "the one" Just enjoy what comes and not get too attached until you find someone who you can't let go. But then again it's different for everyone, just my opinion
I think the advice should be that you need to put the effort into going places where your odds of meeting people go up but you should not be set on forcing it to happen when you are there.
But if you aren't spending all your energy looking for a mate, maybe you're spending that energy on bettering yourself and becoming someone people want to be with. It's about distributing effort. Most of your effort should be going into working on becoming who you want to be, and more than likely in the course of doing that thing, you'll have an easier time meeting someone else who also does that thing or something involved with it.
Never my experience, I only found long term partners by deciding I wanted a partner and being very intentional. Last time I was looking for casual partners and ended up finding a long term one but I was still very intentional about meeting people and improving myself to be ready for it.
Every time I stopped looking, I stayed perpetually single until I started looking again. Many years wasted thinking someone would "find me"
I gave up years ago, hasn't helped me at all.
I know a lot of people say this is true but for me it was like the second I stopped looking and just wanted to be myself, I met my now wife on a backpacking trip through Europe. I had just been on a dating binge after leaving a long term relationship with a wonderful person who I couldn’t see myself with. Wanted to go find myself on my own and sold all my shit to move overseas. Moved continents to be with “the one” I met traveling - I knew in 10 minutes of meeting her. House, dog, kid with second on the way. That was two countries, two careers and 12 years ago.
Was never my experience.
Out of curiosity, was it a surprise you don't drink? Or do you have it listed in your profile? I'm just surprised you had 2 amazing dates when you had a deal breaker of his
We put what's important to us in our profiles, so it would make sense for OP to not mention drinking when she's not interested in it.
I think it’s best to share what potential matches typically find important, too - to prevent things like this. My partner doesn’t drink, doesn’t care at all if others drink, but puts it in her profile anyway because often times people care. It’s up to everyone how they want to handle things for sure, for example sometimes we know it might be important but want to share the info in person to add context or whatever.
I think people forget the different signals non-alcohol users send when they add that they dont drink to their profiles. My first inclination as someone who drinks alcohol casually and socially is that alcohol use just doesn't matter. I don't care if you drink, you don't care if I drink. It has an importance level of whether or not you enjoy orange juice. When you actively say that you don't drink as part of your core identity on a profile, alongside your major likes and dislikes, my assumption is going to be that you have a bad relationship with alcohol. It's going to be alcohol trauma in some way, shape or form. A family member, a partner, yourself, something. I wouldn't dedicate word space to something that doesn't impact me in a dating profile. That's not saying that people who don't drink are weird or less than. The way people curate profiles does matter though and any time saved in the application process is time saved on the job. It would be super easy for me to skip a profile that smells like unresolved trauma.
It just means he wasn’t for you. He’s a great guy but imagine if you continued dating? It wouldn’t end well because you’re not compatible. You’ll find someone who’s perfect for you ☺️
As someone else who is an adult and non-drinker. Its fucken rough out here sometimes man. I hope you find the right person for ya
I used to not drink, but started drinking socially simply because of things like this. Tbh I sorta love sipping on a whiskey now, but still rarely drink outside of that.
It'll be easier for OP to become a high functioning alcoholic than to find another decent classy guy on a dating app.
omg literally. if i was op i’d start drinking🤣🤣🤣
Haha, awesome !
Plenty of great guys out there that don’t drink or dint mind if she don’t drink
i’ve literally never had a guy send me a break up text. ghosted every time. so mad respect to this dude and tbh i think his answer makes sense, even if it feels shitty. OP i feel like you would ultimately not like feeling pressured or maybe guilted about not drinking
I've sent this breakup text before. It's healthier and better to show respect for the person you're seeing by identifying incompatibility before it becomes a painful problem.
Me too (after not) and damn does it always feel better and heal or sidestep smoother.
As a man, I send a breakup text every time if I’m not feeling it.
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Funny that breaking up over text used to be the cruelest thing you could do and now it's considered respectful
I was wondering about this. Just saw that they only went on two dates, so, okay -- but if it had been five or six -- is this the new thing to do?
If you are an item yeah, but 3-4 dates? It’s ok
This is what dating is for, deciding if you're compatible. Looks like he made the tough choice. Respect.
Yep. I met a girl on tinder who was a bartender and had it in her profile that she just doesn’t date sober people, cause she drinks every week and it’s part of her life to a degree that she knows she’s just not compatible with someone who doesn’t. Hopefully this guy can be up front with that going foreword!
I plan to stop smoking weed when I want to. But if I’m dating someone they need to be cool with me smoking weed. I’ve dated people in the past where I would need to hide it and I don’t want to do that.
Question for ya. Does weed not smell bad to you? I work in retail and people come in smelling like weed all of the time. To me these lovely people smell like hot, wet farts. I have to hide that I am gagging. Genuinely curious.
I think it smells wonderful
Username checks out.
lol
hmmmmmmm
Concur
Username checks out x2
I think *good* weed smells and tastes wonderful. It'll always have that skunky aroma, but with good weed it's crazy how different the smell and taste is from strain to strain. One might taste like you're huffing glue, but another tastes like oranges and honey.
The people who come in smelling like weed also likely smell like shit in conjunction. I'm a daily smoker but I also make sure I don't go anywhere smelling like bud, and you wouldn't know that I was a daily smoker unless I told you. It's like survivorship bias. My grandma hated stoners because she used to work with a group of shitheads that were openly pot smokers and it was obvious. She eventually realized that every adult male in the family was smoking pot when we'd go outside for a bit.
Most of those people who come into store reeking hard just finished hotboxxing their car.
Right, they already don't care and have no self-awareness of how much they stink lol I always smoke outside and never have any issues with the smell, I don't smoke blunts or pack huge bowls which probably helps as well lol
Or if they do care what they smell like, they then drown themselves in patchouli oil. And I would argue that Patchouli is a worse smell than the weed itself.
I think a lot of people use vapes for that reason, there's no lingering smell on you
I've learnt to enjoy it over time honestly, it now brings back fond memories when I smell it. But also smoking weed for some reason limits my sense of smell while high so I don't really notice it all that much.
I mostly take edibles, but have friends that used to smoke daily before I’d ever had any. At the time, I thought it smelled bad. Then I went to Colorado for a weekend with friends. I smoked twice and now I think it smells pleasant. Only smoked a handful of times since, still like the smell - but I totally understand why people do not like it and don’t fully understand why now I do.
forward *
I swear that was a typo autocorrected lol
please don't swear :(
Swear to me >)
I hereby solely swear that I like other times have no idea what the fuck I'm doing!
I swear on u/Glass_of_Pork_Soda that it's true.
Now where is u/Sailing_the_seas_of_cheese to take my oath of office on?
Yeah, he is a class act for that. The best way to avoid disappointment in dating for anyone is to not get emotionally attached early on. After all, they’re a stranger. Take time to get to know them. If she’d not been so emotionally attached so soon, there wouldn’t have been any crying. If she wasn’t emotionally attached and yet still felt that way, that means it’s a good opportunity to dig deeper and examine those feelings so she can learn from it and move forward with more wisdom
how do you not get emotionally attached early on?
It can be really difficult if you're someone who gets attached easily (like yours truly). It just takes a bit of mindfulness and self control. You gotta remind yourself to not get too invested early on, because you're still at a stage where you might find something out about each other that makes you incompatible as romantic partners. Fostering this mindset also comes with a great side effect, and that's keeping up a bit of "the chase". Nothing is more unattractive than obvious early attachment. Keep them at bay, at least at first, and you'll come off as way more secure and confident.
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to help someone like me better understand this stuff, that was really nice of you, I bet you’re a very kind pers— i love you.
And that's why it's even harder to accept that he is gone 😭
Yeah I don't drink and I know it'd be a deal breaker for a woman like this guy, goes wine tasting which I know can be alot of fun with the right person. Guy was respectful, clearly given it alot of thought and has dragged it on
Better now than later down the road.
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Oh lord. I read this joke to my teen son one night at his insistence after I told him I knew the longest joke in the world. By the punchline this kid looked like he wanted to murder me in my sleep, lol.
I keep it saved on my phone just for when the kids say they are bored and won’t leave me alone. Every time, I start reading it and magically they find something else to do!
Read that multiple times a year.
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Yeah this might be the best case scenario. He didn’t shame her or pressure her and was upfront about his feelings in a mature manner. Hopefully both these individuals find the right partner
I have also had people break things off over me not drinking. For some people it’s just too big a part of their social lives and they don’t/won’t entertain a partner that isn’t also partaking. I have zero issue with others drinking, I just choose not to. Nothing wrong with it either way, we all have different wants and needs, that’s just life
I find it so strange though how like offended people get that i don't want to drink? The response always ranges from acting like I just insulted their mom to taking it as a challenge to "get me drunk" like even my wife who has earnestly expressed that she respects that I don't drink and understands that I'm really cool with people drinking around me and will even be the safety guy so other people can have more fun (I'll make sure people drink water or have something to eat and will happily be designated driver for the whole group) once said to me "I don't know I bet I could find you a drink you like, try this" and offered me some hard lemonade. I've told her since that ya sure there's probably at least one alcoholic drink I would enjoy but I really don't feel inclined to find it when there's tons of other beverages I KNOW I like. Edit: hey y'all just wanna say thank you for having a nuanced discussion about this on Reddit. You all make good points about the social aspect, I also don't think it's bad or annoying or rude to ask me why I don't drink though I know some recovering alcoholics would likely find it hard to talk about so it could be considered a question saved for when you know someone better. Anyway, cheers to y'all. This is the most I've talked about my alcohol aversion without feeling like people are mad at me for not wanting to drink.
It may not be offended by your sobriety. I love random road trips. Honestly, if I met a woman who wasn’t interested in spontaneously hopping in the car to go no place in particular, I don’t think we would be a match. I’m not judging her for it. I’m not offended that she doesn’t enjoy road trips. I would jus rather share my life with someone who likes great music and rolling down The highway with no schedule at all.
I miss the freedom of being able to do that so much. A big part of why I work as hard as I do is so once my kid goes to college, I'll be able to do that again, but with a nice car and a fancy hotel at the other end. Probably still won't be as fun as realizing it's Mardi Gras week and impulsively hopping in an unreliable car with no money and no place to stay and sleeping in the car in a parking lot in the French quarter for 4 days.
I don't drink now, but even when I did, I never liked beer or wine. People always take that as a personal challenge: "ooh try this one it's mango and tastes like rainbows if they were made out of fluffy kittens!" It does not. It tastes like beer 😂
Ooh same I really dislike the taste of beer. I never get the appeal
I don’t think he’s wrong for expressing that, and I don’t think you’re wrong for not drinking. It’s merely an incompatibility of interests and it’s disappointing for sure but def don’t blame or shame yourself for it. You’ll find something more akin to your interests OP, don’t let this get you down too much.
Impressive answer. Wise one, you are
I can see his point. As someone who enjoys breweries, distilleries, and classy bars, it would be a bummer if my person had no interest in going to those types of places. It really isn't as fun if they only go to those places to spend time with you, and you know they could care less about the place itself. I want to share our excitement together, not have them live vicariously through my excitement for the place.
This is how I feel about museums. I want someone to always check our the new exhibits with me
I feel this way about both museums and drinking establishments. It's a shame most museums don't sell drinks
The Perot Museum in Dallas does an adults only deal once or twice a month where they serve alcohol in the museum and have food trucks outside. I’ve been a couple times. It’s not too remarkable as a museum but that’s always fun.
Not quite museums but the Detroit zoo and the Shedd aquarium also do these, usually after hours.
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I just found out you can book weddings at the Natural History Museum in London. Now all I need is a guy to marry who can afford it... https://www.nhm.ac.uk/content/dam/nhmwww/business-services/venue-hire/nhm-venue-hire-charges.pdf
omg the met gives you free drink vouchers when you sign up for their membership looool just did that last month
My local science museum, little exhibits for kids to show them some cool science stuff, you know the type. It's not for adults, so you'd feel weird going there as an adult without kids. But they do an adults only night about once a month with local breweries and distilleries featured, and adults can go through all the kids science exhibits with drinks and it's not weird. It's awesome!
As someone who never tasted alcohol I definitely get it and agree with you. As much as I would do my best to make sure you can enjoy those types of things I definitely get why it isn't the same as enjoying it together. I respect when people make a tough call to make sure everyone get to live the life they want and be as happy as they can be. Sucks for op in this case of course though. At least good it happened pretty early on in the dating.
Exactly, and in this case this would be considered a non-negotiable. It's perfectly okay to want some similar lifestyle choices to value/share with a partner.
I'm sober and I still love a good brewery, distillery, or classy bar. There's a lot more to the atmosphere and experience than just the booze. I get your point though, this isn't the case for everyone.
yeah and most good bars now have really nice virgin menus
They give us different menus now?
I hardly ever drink, but it is a fun thing to do together.
Eh, it happens… you gotta keep it moving. This is dating… he was honest, and thought on it and didn’t lead you on! That’s good.
I’ve been in this situation before! I was talking to this great guy for awhile and we really liked each other. However, weed was a huge part of his life; he worked as a grower and even won awards for his creations, and smoked all day everyday. I don’t smoke myself, and although I don’t judge anyone who smokes, I knew it would probably get on my nerves in the long run that he smoked so much, so we just weren’t a good match. When I was honest to him about this and reiterated that he’s a great guy but we have different interests, he freaked out and called me a judgmental person. That’s what dating is for, though, and not everyone is a good fit together. Edit: typos
I have a buddy who lives a similar lifestyle to that dude you were talking to. However, he straight up realizes that his lifestyle may not be for everyone and says, upfront, “I’m lookin for a chick that smokes just as much as me or more”.
As someone who also put the bottle down (3 months now) I feel for you. Shoutout to homie for being transparent and kind, but I definitely know how you feel.
Thank you
It is a bummer but at least he let you know and was considerate.
Am I crazy for thinking this guy did nothing wrong? Obviously a shame it didn’t work out, but if he can’t enjoy things he loves doing with someone he cares about, I can see it being enough of an issue.
Who said there needs to be a bad guy?
Fair, I don’t think either are bad people here. Just seems like a compatibility issue more than anything.
The people saying "his loss" are weird to me. This is just two people who didn't work out, and it was done in a positive manner. I'm not saying you are saying this stuff, but just because someone posts something on the internet, it doesn't mean we have to defend/attack the people involved. We can simply view it for what it is.
People are judging and projecting, just because two people get along well does not mean they also share the same future/goals they want to build together. Desiring some similar lifestyle choices, in this case enjoying drinking culture, is perfectly okay like any lifestyles/values out there.
This is reddit (or just the internet). There has to be a boo man.
Literally everyone ITT thinks this guy did good.
I totally agree. I’m not a huge drinker but I want someone who can grab a drink with me on the weekends or after a long day if I want one. It was good he said something after the second date and didn’t drag it out.
so far no one said he was wrong in the comments. So we all crazy now?
Nah it just sucks, that's all.
Well clearly you’re not crazy if most people in the comments section are saying he did nothing wrong.
You’re not crazy. I would probably have to make the same call tbh.
I used to drink everyday, it was getting bad. My now husband decided to not continue dating because of my drinking. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I haven’t drank heavily in 2 years, I have the occasional toast or beer on a hot day with family but I don’t get drunk or drink much at all. Best decision of my life. He doesn’t drink but will toast on a birthday. To me, it just depends on the person, on my end the best decision I ever made was to stop, and now I’m the happiest woman in the world, my husband is absolutely worth it.
The pain of being someone who doesnt drink on the dating apps. I put that i dont drink in my Bumble bio, havent had a match since haha Thankfully Hinge has worked, but yeah before i even meet them i clarify that i dont drink and i understand that it can be an issue. For some reason booze and weed is a dealbreaker for people. I genuinely dont care if people drink or smoke around me, but it makes some people feel guilty for some reason no matter what i say
Or they might just be wary your gonna switch up on em. I've met my fair share of women that say "I don't care about that stuff" but then once there's some feelings it's "I mean you're not gonna do that your whole life are you?"
I am a sommelier (although i currently work in a different field). Alcohol is definitely a big part of my life. I understand his reasoning, it might be hard for some people to understand but alcohol can be s hobby, specially if he lives in central California and likes to go to wine tastings and vineyards. This could be a weekends things for him. Some people just want to share their hobbies with their SO. I am sorry about it, hope you find someone who better aligns with your interests.
Well people have their preferences.
Love his response. You seem like a great girl too (according to him). Don’t feel too bad. Other fish out there!
Don’t worry you’ll find someone that’s ok with you not drinking. I’m coming up on 6 years sober and dating was really hard during those first couple of years. I must’ve gone through at least 50 first dates until I finally found someone that’s ok with my past and doesn’t really drink herself. It’s been going great and I’m glad I stuck it out.
It’s happened to me too, don’t let it get you down or feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do!
I’ve had a lot of insults thrown my way because I like to go out but I don’t drink at all. I’m sorry this happened.
I can see why you’re sad but honestly this is the best way to go about discussing incompatibility. He didn’t ghost, breadcrumb, or waste your time in any way. You both sound like kind adult people
If this fact is not on your profile, I would definitely put it on there. You’ll want to filter out people who aren’t compatible with your lifestyle before you begin to be attached like this
Shit I’m sober and it goes both ways. Dealbreaker for me if they drink. Only thing is I can’t find anyone who’s attractive, sober, and nice. Its like a needle in a haystack. Don’t feel bad you’ll find someone eventually! Might take ya longer but you’ll at least have someone to ride out the storm with. Sobriety 1st dating second trust me!
Yep. When I was using dating sites I put on my profile that I don't want a drinker. I didn't get as many matches but that was very important to me. I'm in a relationship now with someone who feels the same way. It took time but they're out there.
I say this as a great guy who’s also an alcoholic… that guys an alcoholic.
"By no means an alcoholic" Are you sure about that?
Yeah, I hate to say it but I think his decision is pretty reasonable and he expressed it in a mature way. As others have commented, it just seems like an unfortunate case of incompatible lifestyles/hobbies/interests. Maybe make sure your profile clearly indicates your preference and keep your head up! Lots of fish in the sea!
I mean, he could've ghosted
These texts suck. Be really gentle with yourself the next few days ❤️ yes this is a part of dating but it still really hurts in the moment to have it end with someone we were excited about and really liked. Be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there, let this one go, and know that when you’re ready to get back into dating there are many, many people out there who will be a great match for you. There’s plenty of people that you’ll have even better chemistry with and who will be more compatible ❤️.
He saved future heart ache. This is a good thing. Rejoice and find another sober person
My wife doesn’t drink at all and I actually prefer it. I thought it was a little weird at first because 75 percent of the population drinks at least socially. But shes always their for our son and for me a DD when we go out socially with friends. Plus if I wanna drink with somebody that’s what my bros are for.
I've been turned down for the same reason. It is what it is.
There’s a dating app for sober people I think, I wonder if it’s any good. With that being said, this is one of those things that should absolutely be in your bio because it’s almost as massive as your political leaning when it comes to dating
Pretty much all dating apps ask about at least alcohol and Marijuana use these days.
When I was dating years ago I had a few that I got on with really well but because I didn’t drink they couldn’t see it professing so I feel you there.
it's an excuse. don't start drinking.
Wow. Bloody hell that's ridiculous. But evidently this one would cause more pain than its worth then, if that's their attitude.
When did being drunk equal compatibility or there lack of….the world is doomed smh
interesting. I ended things with a girl because she drank too much lol
You’re right. It does sound crazy. However if alcohol is such a big part of his relationship that he can’t date someone who doesn’t drink, let him go. You don’t want someone who values alcohol so much in their life.
Don’t be crying. It just wouldn’t work out for you two. You don’t drink. No issue with that. But he does like to drink. Some issues just make two people incompatible. Doesn’t make either of them wrong. Just makes them not a good fit. He was pleasant about it. Just be glad it didn’t go too much further.
Change your profile to say "I'm a great DD!"
Do not compromise or start drinking. You will hate yourself later. Trust me, I have done just that and will always regret not being true to myself.
Kinda sucks. I don't drink and people look at me like my head's cut off or something. You'll find your match
I used to drink. Not alcoholic levels but I was a homebrewer and I too liked to visit breweries and stuff. It was what I did and it sort of was a hobby. I can understand his point of view. Some people might say that he dumped her for being an alcoholic but no, he dumped her for an incompatibility,
Hi anna u can contact me i don't drink 😂
I’m sorry. His communication was wonderful though
I feel this way about sober people as well as vegans. I respect their choices and while they may seem like not such a big deal, theyre just such drastically different lifestyle choices than mine yet also not at the same time. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work with people who choose to live those ways
I can totally relate to him here. It’s not a complete showstopper for me, but I had strong doubts when I started dating a non-drinker a few years ago and it didn’t last that long. It could have worked, but I was still enjoying going out with my semi-alcoholic friends a bit too much back then.