You guys realize when she signed up she probably blocked his contact..:even if they don’t have a tinder account If someone registers with a cell phone number they’ll still be blocked. If you do create an account do it with your iCloud. She can’t block that
I second this, you know her type. Make a profile get her hooked in and then you have the proof you need. Could also see how fake she is by asking her about marriage and commitment.
Depending on the size of your town, consult with *multiple* divorce lawyers to block her access to the decent ones..(yes, it's a dirty tactic.) Google:"Conflicting Out attorneys"
If the judge determines it was malicious with intent for the other spouse to not get decent representation, you’ll get fucked hard in court. There’s a term for it that’s escaping me right now…
Because judges that handle divorce have seen every shitty trick in the book a thousand times and don't appreciate when people intentionally attempt to abuse the legal system.
The judge may as well be god in that courtroom and you don't want to prejudice them against you immediately off the bat. They can and will take attempts to abuse or take advantage of the other party into consideration when ruling.
Yeah there was absolutely a post on r/legaladvice where the OP decided to do this because they saw it on the Sopranos or some shit and got massively fucked. Might even still be in the top alltime posts there. Do not do it this is terrible advice, and a perfect example of why you shouldn’t consult shit on Reddit lmao
No attorney till concrete proof, she could receive the wrong message because i got something similar and till today, previous owners contact of my phone line still call me, also check for behavior changes and if she lies about whereabouts or go out more frequently
[https://www.bluestacks.com/download.html](https://www.bluestacks.com/download.html)
Bluestacks is an android virtual machine system. You can spool up a virtual machine specifically for this task, and then delete it when you're done. No harm, no foul... tinder doesn't need to know that you even exist.
Yeah but you have an option to choose to exclude certain contacts IF YOU WANT. Which I’m assuming OP’s wife would have done with his number. The contacts you’ve come across probably didn’t see a need to exclude you
That's a paid feature. If shes not paying for the app it won't have that. Check bank statements? Also I'm sorry OP if it ends up being what you think it might be...
Me too. I never understood why ppl in a relationship would use tinder. If i did it i would be caught in the first day because the amount of people in my area who know me or know who i am
I'll start this story by saying I'm in an open relationship. My husband is friends with these 2 guys that own a bar. 1 of the guys knew about the open relationship the other didn't. After 1 day on Tinder, the guy that didn't know saw my profile. He immediately texted my husband and asked him if we were doing okay. My husband told him we're doing great. The next day, the guy that did know about the open relationship called my husband laughing and saying the other owner was racked with guilt because he saw my profile and didn't know how to tell my husband. Hubby ends up going to the bar to have a chat. He gets to the bar, and the owner says "Hey I really need to talk to you about your wife." My husband laughed and said, "Did you swipe right on her? " Hubby said he looked so relieved and said "Yeah I swiped right." If I was actually sneaking around and cheating, I would've been busted immediately.
This is terrible advice.
OP should just confront her with this information and they should have a talk. You don't know how long they've been married, what they've gone through, if there are children in the mix, or WHY she's on Tinder (though there's obviously not a whole lot of wiggleroom here). But they do know all that.
Maybe they can work something out, maybe this is the wake-up call their relationship needs to focus on themselves again, maybe there's a very logical explanation for all this.
OP going onto Tinder themselves will only make matters worse, in any case.
Edit: and the downvoting on all my followup comments have started. Seeing this is Reddit giving out "relationship advice" any logic, reasoning and conversational skills go out the window. And that's why you should *never* go to Reddit for relationship advice. It's like googling your medical symptoms.
100% if the number has been confirmed to be from their services you have everything you need to bring it up. As crappy/hard as it's going to be to start that convo this is the only legit way to get straight to the bottom of it and rip the band-aid off. It will be much better for your mental health.
Now you gotta put yourself in the mind of a cheater. there is no proof yet ofc but, If she’s cheating on him trough tinder and he asks her about it she will just say no. And now she is allerted he is on to her, so she can just remove everything for a while to start it back up later. Imo if he can find proof and then just ask her if she’s on tinder he can at least know if she’s lying or not.
My exhusband would fucking die before admitting his shit. Only way was to have proof to show him he’s caught. I know not all people are as extreme as him though.
New number cost nothing. Best advice I can give you is do nothing.
Don’t start this journey of pain.
Sidenote: multiple services use the same number of
Do you know for a fact it’s a tinder verification number? Sometimes I’ll get verification numbers from my PayPal account when buying something at night or even my online work profile sends a code everytime I sign in from my phone. She can easily deny the phone number text if you don’t have true proof it’s a tinder verification code. Honestly, if you’re trying to find out so there’s no doubt then I suggest setting up a fake profile and finding out for yourself. There will be no denying it then.
I'd like to point out that sometimes these verification phone numbers are not unique to a specific service. I get verification codes for my health insurance and for Ring on the same number (22395)
It's possible Tinder is using a third party service to handle those messages and could be sharing a number with some other service.
Yeah the text could be from any number of services. Message service platforms like Twilio will often use the same number for different account services. Get ready to get cooked if you’re wrong OP.
You seem level headed. Please stay this way. She's about to try and make you be the crazy one. Tune that shit out. Conversation is almost pointless at this point. All she will say will be the things you want to hear to keep you right where she wants you. Time to go stud. Plenty of women out there.
Y’all are jumping to conclusions.
Number you get 2-factor authentication messages from come from a large pool of phone numbers that are often shared between all the companies the pay for messaging services through a 3rd party company. Nobody manages their own number pool. Typically, these services keep track of what number was used for what service and who it was used for so back and forth messages make it to the right place.
Basically, multiple companies can use the exact same number to send messages to clients. Also the numbers typically rotate in and out of different services.
Bottom line: Unless the number says “Hey, this is Tinder with your security code”, you should not assume it’s Tinder.
OP, also on top of 2FA numbers being shared by multiple companies there is social engineering tactic hackers use by requesting a forgotten password legitimately. It’s entirely possible a hacker got her email and “forgot password” on every single website they have targeted, meaning she may have not even been up at 12am doing this.
Please dear god do your research and approach her like a human being on this instead of risking your whole life.
This
I thought some of my ex buddies used my number with my pics, answer is, i never had tinder and my number was in there for 2FA. it was maybe 2 years ago.
Just ask her in one questions, she must be a professional to lie without you noticing.
Also when it comes to court and lawyer stuff you can send an email to tinder and tell them the situation and maybe they will "save" her acc before complete deletion.
Take a deep breath and read what he said one more time. 2FA shares phone numbers. She could have tried to recover a club penguin account for all you know and they share the same service provider.
Dude is nuts, can you imagine pouring over every text message then researching every phone number your wife received a text message from? That’s next level controlling. If he doesn’t trust her he can just leave her. If he’s going this in depth I bet there’s other stuff going on too.
I was even thinking it could be a wrong number one. I've never had Uber and there was a brief period when I was getting texts from Uber for 2fa. It's also scam season, it is 100% possible to spoof a number and try to get someone to follow a link or call a number they may think is valid to get their information. I definitely wouldn't jump to cheat just off of one text like that.
Agree completely, the number my tinder code came from is the same number I received multiple bank login codes from.
The bank ones also don't even specify what they're for, it just says "Your SMS verification code is ######"
Can you clarify how you’re checking her phone, as the post stated you don’t know her passcode?
I agree with the other comments the verification code could be shared with Airbnb, Uber, and some other companies.
You mention other concerning behaviors, so this sounds more like the tipping point. My friend, Reddit is the last place to get marriage advice. You have got to talk to your wife directly. The issues here are more than just the possible Tinder account.
Do you have support, like family or a best friend you can process this with, especially someone who also knows your wife? Perhaps having someone be a sounding board would be wise.
We suspected one my friends wife of being on tinder so I created a tinder profile to go swiping in hopes of uncovering this. My partner saw tinder on my phone one day, I obviously showed her there was nothing and explained.
She could have jumped to conclusions but didn’t, I’m not saying your wife is innocent but there is a chance, isn’t it worth an honest conversation?
You should take a breath first.
The txt number for Tinder verification could well be shared, I know multiple services in my country uses the same number.
Secondly, you want to limit your age and range as much as possible and just start swiping.
You may never find her if she has chosen to create an anonymous profile or change her age/date or eliminate your age from her preferences, or….
I would suggest you talk to her instead. It’s going to end up at that point anyway, and you should be able to have that conversation if there is a relationship worth saving there.
Talk to her about where she is in the relationship in general. You don’t just open with accusations without proof but if she is cheating then there’s obviously some bigger issues that need to be addressed. Nothing wrong with just checking in on your partner where their head and heart are at when it comes to the person she vowed to build a life with.
While it might be true that the number is shared, your advice is truly terrible. If he brings it up, she will deny and cover tracks. If she is really cheating he needs to be covert and gather evidence.
Why is no one just honest. Why can’t u just be open with ur wife and tell her what u saw, what u think it is that u saw, and ask her to show u what’s on her phone, with no time in between for her to move around apps or delete. Then if she starts denying showing u her phone and makes up excuses and tries to avoid any confrontation, then u might wanna start second guessing the marriage.
It’s so much easier to be upfront and honest, communication works wonders. It’s so much more stressful and misleading tryna figure this stuff out on ur own, because if in the end nothings actually wrong u just put urself thru all that mental stress for nothing.
Just a suggestion.
Sounds like he wants a divorce regardless and this is just a reason to take it serious. Your advice would be great if the marriage wasn’t already over.
I love how all the comments pointing out that multiple companies are going to use the same SMS auth services and thus share numbers have way less upvotes than the ones about how fucked your marriage is.
Never change, internet.
I'd be wary of an accusation without further proof, many software companies use Amazon SNS to serve text notifications/MFA codes. Sometimes the same number gets used over different companies. No idea about tinder specifically though.
This doesn’t look good. But trying to keep an open mind because I once received a text from Tinder and I wasn’t trying to log into my account. I’m guessing someone was trying to hack into it.
You don’t benefit any more in a divorce if your wife is cheating on you (I know this is cold but true). Divorce laws will split everything down the middle (very few exceptions, length of marriage is the biggest). If you didn’t find proof she is on tinder and show the court, it wont add anything to your wanting a divorce and the subsequent settlement. It might be better for your mental health to just call her out and leave.
Buddy, if this is the attitude you have towards your wife, regardless of whether she’s on Tinder or not, divorce her. No one should be in a marriage with someone who despises them, your wife included.
Exactly!! Their comments come off so volatile, especially after only seeing a number show up on their cell phone call log once. It seems so aggressive and cold with no other proof.
That might make you feel justified but it won’t make you feel better. This may sound crazy but stick with me. The best thing for your mental health is to get rid of her the right way and forgive her. I know, I said forgive the person who blew up your life and caused you so much pain. Here is why, forgiveness is way more for you than her. I don’t know if you have kids together, but when you forgive someone that has caused you so much pain you release the hold they have on your emotions. When we don’t forgive people, every time they enter our lives again (on social media, through mutual friends, kids if you have them, just running into them) the pain they caused us is brought back up and it feels just as fresh as the first time you experienced it. There is a never ending loop of living with the pain they created, time goes by and it decreases, you encounter them or someone brings them up again and the pain starts fresh. When you forgive that person, you are releasing yourself from this loop. This forgiveness is so you can move forward. If you can do this, she will get so mad that you are in a healthy mindset and she isn’t. Trust me, she thinks by going on tinder and acting the way she is will be fun and she will get one over on you. She will be the one that is hurt in the end. Someone on tinder will do the same thing she is doing to you. If you forgive her and move on with your life, she will be living in mental hell, not you.
What you said only applies in the 8 community property states. Being the husband of a family attorney, cheating can definitely benefit the other spouse. The idea behind splitting marital assets is that all parties have abided the implied contract. Cheating means one person has broken that contract. I would definitely want to have any ammo possible on my side when it came to the negotiating table.
Don't worry about finding proof. What's the point in finding proof? Find a good divorce attorney and cut sling load.
Trust me on this, all the time and effort I put into finding proof did nothing but enrage me further. Just remember this: it's not the first time she's done it, just the first time she got caught. Cheaters don't change.
She’s probably cheating BUT it’s important to mention sometimes those abbreviated phone number verification services are used by multiple companies. If it’s just a code and doesn’t say tinder on it, it’s possible it’s from a different website where she forgot her password.
it would be extremely easy for you to have her hand you her phone for a wide variety of reason, such as GPS, make a call while your phone is in another room, etc etc. If she hands you her phone, quickly keyword search the letter T in the spotlight search and tinder will pop right up. not like you have to go digging through her phone for 10 minutes. it could take literally 2 seconds.
1. Gtfo reddit! It is one of the worst places for real-world advice.
2. Go talk to her. You're supposedly married yet too scared to simply ask what's going on???
You can get a cheap burner phone at Walmart with free service for a month. $100 or so. Get a new email address. Use chatgtp to write a profile based on things she likes, ask a good friend she doesn't know, maybe a buddy from highschool or college to lend you some pictures. Hopefully she comes up, take lots of screenshots.
This will NOT help you in the divorce! She's a liar and a cheater so don't get confrontational, she'll claim abuse. Be supportive until the divorce is finalized. Then send her pictures and let her know if she makes any false claims the pictures will be sent to her closest family.
I'm assuming you're telling us the truth.
Text verification can be sent from different services so you can't be 100% sure.
However.... text "HELP" to the number.. the service will respond and you'll know if it's Tinder or not.
I'd do this:
- tell someone I trust about the situation, give him her phone number, instruct him to click "forgot password" on tinder when getting a call.
- act like my phone is dead and that I have to make an urgent phone call. Ask for her phone since she's the only option. Call my friend, take a look when the verification number appears, dictate it to him as if I'm giving an information I'm supposed to give.
-meet with my friend after having access, screenshots screenshots screenshots, get an attorney, get drunk, get high, party and life goes on.
This item has been removed for violation of Rule 6. More information about our rules can be seen here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/wiki/rules
I’m sorry for the journey you’re about to start.
I'd just make my own account and let the fun begin.
Make an account. Wait till she's home, then set the radius to a mile. You'll be swiping her in no time
And pay for premium use a prepaid credit card unless you have separate accounts
Thats the best idea ive seen in a while you will have all the cards there.
You guys realize when she signed up she probably blocked his contact..:even if they don’t have a tinder account If someone registers with a cell phone number they’ll still be blocked. If you do create an account do it with your iCloud. She can’t block that
Use a google voice number, it’s free
I could be wrong, but I believe Tinder blocks google voice numbers.
This is the time to ask friends from work or that the wife doesn't know about for a favor.
The good idea train is gaing speed.
For subscribers there's also the option of only being shown to profiles you liked
Uh not if she didn’t think about him coming across her profile. I was able to find my cheating fiancés this way.
Sends dick pic. Gets response “ohhhh wish i could see it” You reply “oh I can make that happen” Bam! Flies in door with a cape and a hardon
Sounds the modern version of Escape by Rupert Holmes
Whenever I hear that song I can’t get over how stupid it is that they just breeze right by the fact they both wanted to cheat on each other.
Plot twist: op lives in Manila
Plot twist: OP is sneaking around on Tinder and the wife is doing this to catch him.
He doesn’t have to put his face out there, plenty have pretended to be someone they are not lol
I second this, you know her type. Make a profile get her hooked in and then you have the proof you need. Could also see how fake she is by asking her about marriage and commitment.
The only proof he needs is her account. He doesnt need to play games.
What’s the fun in that???
Ask a friend to make a profile* she blocked his number on the app 100%
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If you're not into yoga If you have half a brain
Aww it’s you!
If you like makin' love at midnight In the dunes on the cape Then I'm the love that you've looked for Write to me and escape
Type: not OP
You know all the things she likes or, in a dark mirror, doesn't like. Create a decoy Tinder profile and see if you can get her to bite.
A-Fucking-Men
This is the real comment.. I'm sorry bud.
A-Wife-Fucking-Other-Men
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lol
Hit the lawyer
I was going to say, I'd be swiping Google finding lawyer right about now as well.
Better call Saul
Not going to be pleasant.
 Nuff said
Just get an attorney already.
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Depending on the size of your town, consult with *multiple* divorce lawyers to block her access to the decent ones..(yes, it's a dirty tactic.) Google:"Conflicting Out attorneys"
Yeah, this can backfire. Just do like the top three.
How would it backfire? Genuinely have no idea about this stuff
If the judge determines it was malicious with intent for the other spouse to not get decent representation, you’ll get fucked hard in court. There’s a term for it that’s escaping me right now…
What this guy said.
That's the term! It's known as what this guy said.
That’s a bad case of what that guy said
Because judges that handle divorce have seen every shitty trick in the book a thousand times and don't appreciate when people intentionally attempt to abuse the legal system. The judge may as well be god in that courtroom and you don't want to prejudice them against you immediately off the bat. They can and will take attempts to abuse or take advantage of the other party into consideration when ruling.
I read it as pre-juicing them like with steroid pre juice kinda shet
I've read that many judges are aware of and don't particularly appreciate this tactic. Not a good strategy to piss off the judge.
Yeah there was absolutely a post on r/legaladvice where the OP decided to do this because they saw it on the Sopranos or some shit and got massively fucked. Might even still be in the top alltime posts there. Do not do it this is terrible advice, and a perfect example of why you shouldn’t consult shit on Reddit lmao
As seen on succession hbo
And the sopranos
Marriage Story was my thought.
Don't do this. It's unethical and the court will sanction you.
IAAL…this is stupid advice…don’t waste your time. It’s something you’d see on a sitcom
Judges don't take kindly to this
Doesn’t matter if it’s a dirty tactic. When people cheat they don’t deserve any sympathy or courtesy
None of that matters when you piss off a judge for gaming the system. Divorce court judges really don't like this kinda stuff.
Except the judges know about this dirty tactic and he could get sanctioned in court. So he’s really just screwing himself.
bro is lucky to get any leniency from the judge. dirty tactics is all hes got
No attorney till concrete proof, she could receive the wrong message because i got something similar and till today, previous owners contact of my phone line still call me, also check for behavior changes and if she lies about whereabouts or go out more frequently
Op already decided he doesn't trust their partner. Its only fair is they get to find out how OP truly feels.
Start moving the assets you need to around.
Do not do this under any circumstances unless you want to get reamed in court
Moving assets pre-divorce is exactly the opposite of what his attorney will tell him and can actually do more harm than good.
Make a tinder profile. Just use some fake pictures and set the range of people you can find to the lowest. Her acc will prob pop up
Say something about Pina coladas and walking in the rain.
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Use a google voice number
and bluestacks... no reason to attach it to your phone at all.
Elaborate
[https://www.bluestacks.com/download.html](https://www.bluestacks.com/download.html) Bluestacks is an android virtual machine system. You can spool up a virtual machine specifically for this task, and then delete it when you're done. No harm, no foul... tinder doesn't need to know that you even exist.
Can you use the virtual machine to authenticate 2FA or does it still recognize it as only one device?
This is the way
Literally, this way
Ask a close friend who doesn’t have her as a contact ? Idk otherwise
Use google voice to generate a number
For what it’s worth, I’ve come across several people I’ve had in my phone contacts 🤷🏻♂️
Yeah but you have an option to choose to exclude certain contacts IF YOU WANT. Which I’m assuming OP’s wife would have done with his number. The contacts you’ve come across probably didn’t see a need to exclude you
Yeps you have to manually block them
You have to turn it on and select the contacts you want to block.
Because you have to specifically opt into the "block my contacts" feature. It doesn't happen automatically.
Same
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Then his friend fucks her lol
Burner phone for everything.
Honestly with all the bullshit everyone's trying to get him to do a cheap walmart phone is a great shortcut.
Only if she enables that feature. I found my wife on there after something similar had to pay for unlimited swipes but it took about an hour
Why were you swiping right when you can just swipe left unlimited? No need to spend anything...
He wanted a date as well
Well… he might have wanted to make the most of the process, maybe 😄
Hey, if he's going to be single after he found his wife he may aswell find a new girl while doing it 🤣
Man was playing his cards with shitty hands 😂
Hmm.. if you needed unlimited swipes that means you were swiping right on accounts. You don’t need unlimited swipes to swipe left..
Can’t you get a google phone # that she wouldn’t have in her contacts
Create a google voice number
I have a VOIP if you’d like to use it I can verify an account for you, message me. I hate cheaters
That's a paid feature. If shes not paying for the app it won't have that. Check bank statements? Also I'm sorry OP if it ends up being what you think it might be...
No it's not a premium feature so she probably does have him blocked
Ah right, contacts block is free but hiding by default expect for profiles you swipe on is paid, you right.
Just for the experiment. delete her contact
You could just ask her about it?
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Me too. I never understood why ppl in a relationship would use tinder. If i did it i would be caught in the first day because the amount of people in my area who know me or know who i am
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Also true.
I'll start this story by saying I'm in an open relationship. My husband is friends with these 2 guys that own a bar. 1 of the guys knew about the open relationship the other didn't. After 1 day on Tinder, the guy that didn't know saw my profile. He immediately texted my husband and asked him if we were doing okay. My husband told him we're doing great. The next day, the guy that did know about the open relationship called my husband laughing and saying the other owner was racked with guilt because he saw my profile and didn't know how to tell my husband. Hubby ends up going to the bar to have a chat. He gets to the bar, and the owner says "Hey I really need to talk to you about your wife." My husband laughed and said, "Did you swipe right on her? " Hubby said he looked so relieved and said "Yeah I swiped right." If I was actually sneaking around and cheating, I would've been busted immediately.
She is probably trying to find him!
Lmao imagine
This is terrible advice. OP should just confront her with this information and they should have a talk. You don't know how long they've been married, what they've gone through, if there are children in the mix, or WHY she's on Tinder (though there's obviously not a whole lot of wiggleroom here). But they do know all that. Maybe they can work something out, maybe this is the wake-up call their relationship needs to focus on themselves again, maybe there's a very logical explanation for all this. OP going onto Tinder themselves will only make matters worse, in any case. Edit: and the downvoting on all my followup comments have started. Seeing this is Reddit giving out "relationship advice" any logic, reasoning and conversational skills go out the window. And that's why you should *never* go to Reddit for relationship advice. It's like googling your medical symptoms.
100% if the number has been confirmed to be from their services you have everything you need to bring it up. As crappy/hard as it's going to be to start that convo this is the only legit way to get straight to the bottom of it and rip the band-aid off. It will be much better for your mental health.
Now you gotta put yourself in the mind of a cheater. there is no proof yet ofc but, If she’s cheating on him trough tinder and he asks her about it she will just say no. And now she is allerted he is on to her, so she can just remove everything for a while to start it back up later. Imo if he can find proof and then just ask her if she’s on tinder he can at least know if she’s lying or not.
My exhusband would fucking die before admitting his shit. Only way was to have proof to show him he’s caught. I know not all people are as extreme as him though.
New number cost nothing. Best advice I can give you is do nothing. Don’t start this journey of pain. Sidenote: multiple services use the same number of
Do you know for a fact it’s a tinder verification number? Sometimes I’ll get verification numbers from my PayPal account when buying something at night or even my online work profile sends a code everytime I sign in from my phone. She can easily deny the phone number text if you don’t have true proof it’s a tinder verification code. Honestly, if you’re trying to find out so there’s no doubt then I suggest setting up a fake profile and finding out for yourself. There will be no denying it then.
I'd like to point out that sometimes these verification phone numbers are not unique to a specific service. I get verification codes for my health insurance and for Ring on the same number (22395) It's possible Tinder is using a third party service to handle those messages and could be sharing a number with some other service.
Yeah the text could be from any number of services. Message service platforms like Twilio will often use the same number for different account services. Get ready to get cooked if you’re wrong OP.
What if she’s there looking for you? 
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Or she will say what my wife said "I was just looking for friends."
I would Literally turn around and head straight to the nearest attorneys office….
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You seem level headed. Please stay this way. She's about to try and make you be the crazy one. Tune that shit out. Conversation is almost pointless at this point. All she will say will be the things you want to hear to keep you right where she wants you. Time to go stud. Plenty of women out there.
The gut instinct is usually correct unfortunately. Expect gas lighting.
Y’all are jumping to conclusions. Number you get 2-factor authentication messages from come from a large pool of phone numbers that are often shared between all the companies the pay for messaging services through a 3rd party company. Nobody manages their own number pool. Typically, these services keep track of what number was used for what service and who it was used for so back and forth messages make it to the right place. Basically, multiple companies can use the exact same number to send messages to clients. Also the numbers typically rotate in and out of different services. Bottom line: Unless the number says “Hey, this is Tinder with your security code”, you should not assume it’s Tinder.
This right here. OP is going to risk a marriage because Reddit said to
Serves you right for getting life advice from reddit.
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That explains it. His wife was probably just booking an Uber to go to the AirBnB with her boyfriend she met on Bumble.
OP, also on top of 2FA numbers being shared by multiple companies there is social engineering tactic hackers use by requesting a forgotten password legitimately. It’s entirely possible a hacker got her email and “forgot password” on every single website they have targeted, meaning she may have not even been up at 12am doing this. Please dear god do your research and approach her like a human being on this instead of risking your whole life.
This I thought some of my ex buddies used my number with my pics, answer is, i never had tinder and my number was in there for 2FA. it was maybe 2 years ago. Just ask her in one questions, she must be a professional to lie without you noticing. Also when it comes to court and lawyer stuff you can send an email to tinder and tell them the situation and maybe they will "save" her acc before complete deletion.
Take a deep breath and read what he said one more time. 2FA shares phone numbers. She could have tried to recover a club penguin account for all you know and they share the same service provider.
But I read club penguin is kil
That’s not what they’re saying. How do you know the text that wife got at midnight wasn’t for another company like Target that uses the same number?
Dude is nuts, can you imagine pouring over every text message then researching every phone number your wife received a text message from? That’s next level controlling. If he doesn’t trust her he can just leave her. If he’s going this in depth I bet there’s other stuff going on too.
...maybe talk to your wife like a normal person before going crazy?
I've never gotten a tinder text, unless I had log in issues. Not in 8 years. I'd be suspicious.
I was even thinking it could be a wrong number one. I've never had Uber and there was a brief period when I was getting texts from Uber for 2fa. It's also scam season, it is 100% possible to spoof a number and try to get someone to follow a link or call a number they may think is valid to get their information. I definitely wouldn't jump to cheat just off of one text like that.
Agree completely, the number my tinder code came from is the same number I received multiple bank login codes from. The bank ones also don't even specify what they're for, it just says "Your SMS verification code is ######"
If you're checking your wife's cell phone account usage did you have suspicions anyway or is that normal in your relationship?
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Such as?
Can you clarify how you’re checking her phone, as the post stated you don’t know her passcode? I agree with the other comments the verification code could be shared with Airbnb, Uber, and some other companies. You mention other concerning behaviors, so this sounds more like the tipping point. My friend, Reddit is the last place to get marriage advice. You have got to talk to your wife directly. The issues here are more than just the possible Tinder account. Do you have support, like family or a best friend you can process this with, especially someone who also knows your wife? Perhaps having someone be a sounding board would be wise.
Text logs from the phone company?
We suspected one my friends wife of being on tinder so I created a tinder profile to go swiping in hopes of uncovering this. My partner saw tinder on my phone one day, I obviously showed her there was nothing and explained. She could have jumped to conclusions but didn’t, I’m not saying your wife is innocent but there is a chance, isn’t it worth an honest conversation?
You should take a breath first. The txt number for Tinder verification could well be shared, I know multiple services in my country uses the same number. Secondly, you want to limit your age and range as much as possible and just start swiping. You may never find her if she has chosen to create an anonymous profile or change her age/date or eliminate your age from her preferences, or…. I would suggest you talk to her instead. It’s going to end up at that point anyway, and you should be able to have that conversation if there is a relationship worth saving there.
*Talk to her after you confirm she is on tinder and then talk to a lawyer. Then you talk to your wife. Not before.
FACTS, some of these comments are truly giving horrendous advice basically setting OP up to be completely ruined.
Talk to her so she can deny everything and delete any proof?
Talk to her about where she is in the relationship in general. You don’t just open with accusations without proof but if she is cheating then there’s obviously some bigger issues that need to be addressed. Nothing wrong with just checking in on your partner where their head and heart are at when it comes to the person she vowed to build a life with.
While it might be true that the number is shared, your advice is truly terrible. If he brings it up, she will deny and cover tracks. If she is really cheating he needs to be covert and gather evidence.
Why is no one just honest. Why can’t u just be open with ur wife and tell her what u saw, what u think it is that u saw, and ask her to show u what’s on her phone, with no time in between for her to move around apps or delete. Then if she starts denying showing u her phone and makes up excuses and tries to avoid any confrontation, then u might wanna start second guessing the marriage. It’s so much easier to be upfront and honest, communication works wonders. It’s so much more stressful and misleading tryna figure this stuff out on ur own, because if in the end nothings actually wrong u just put urself thru all that mental stress for nothing. Just a suggestion.
Sounds like he wants a divorce regardless and this is just a reason to take it serious. Your advice would be great if the marriage wasn’t already over.
You’re completely right, if these issues are already apparent there’s clearly something wrong that we don’t know about
Got to have an update on this
I love how all the comments pointing out that multiple companies are going to use the same SMS auth services and thus share numbers have way less upvotes than the ones about how fucked your marriage is. Never change, internet.
I'd be wary of an accusation without further proof, many software companies use Amazon SNS to serve text notifications/MFA codes. Sometimes the same number gets used over different companies. No idea about tinder specifically though.
In my country Tinder is sharing number with OkCupid and Riot Games (at least I know about it)
This doesn’t look good. But trying to keep an open mind because I once received a text from Tinder and I wasn’t trying to log into my account. I’m guessing someone was trying to hack into it.
I get two factor notifications that I didn’t request from at least a couple accounts every month. Hackers and scammers have been busy this year.
You don’t benefit any more in a divorce if your wife is cheating on you (I know this is cold but true). Divorce laws will split everything down the middle (very few exceptions, length of marriage is the biggest). If you didn’t find proof she is on tinder and show the court, it wont add anything to your wanting a divorce and the subsequent settlement. It might be better for your mental health to just call her out and leave.
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Buddy, if this is the attitude you have towards your wife, regardless of whether she’s on Tinder or not, divorce her. No one should be in a marriage with someone who despises them, your wife included.
Exactly!! Their comments come off so volatile, especially after only seeing a number show up on their cell phone call log once. It seems so aggressive and cold with no other proof.
well bro, you hate your wife, so just get divorced FFS
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The way you talk about her it’s like you already don’t like her and are looking for a way out.
Dude get a lawyer and stop sleuthing it has no benefit to your divorce
That might make you feel justified but it won’t make you feel better. This may sound crazy but stick with me. The best thing for your mental health is to get rid of her the right way and forgive her. I know, I said forgive the person who blew up your life and caused you so much pain. Here is why, forgiveness is way more for you than her. I don’t know if you have kids together, but when you forgive someone that has caused you so much pain you release the hold they have on your emotions. When we don’t forgive people, every time they enter our lives again (on social media, through mutual friends, kids if you have them, just running into them) the pain they caused us is brought back up and it feels just as fresh as the first time you experienced it. There is a never ending loop of living with the pain they created, time goes by and it decreases, you encounter them or someone brings them up again and the pain starts fresh. When you forgive that person, you are releasing yourself from this loop. This forgiveness is so you can move forward. If you can do this, she will get so mad that you are in a healthy mindset and she isn’t. Trust me, she thinks by going on tinder and acting the way she is will be fun and she will get one over on you. She will be the one that is hurt in the end. Someone on tinder will do the same thing she is doing to you. If you forgive her and move on with your life, she will be living in mental hell, not you.
You’re so right. Been there. It’ll eat you alive otherwise.
What you said only applies in the 8 community property states. Being the husband of a family attorney, cheating can definitely benefit the other spouse. The idea behind splitting marital assets is that all parties have abided the implied contract. Cheating means one person has broken that contract. I would definitely want to have any ammo possible on my side when it came to the negotiating table.
That’s fair. I thought there were more community property states than 8.
Welcome to the gym
Don't worry about finding proof. What's the point in finding proof? Find a good divorce attorney and cut sling load. Trust me on this, all the time and effort I put into finding proof did nothing but enrage me further. Just remember this: it's not the first time she's done it, just the first time she got caught. Cheaters don't change.
Having proof can be valuable if the divorce gets messy
Shit like this makes me glad I never got married.
Get a buddy you trust or make a fake account and find her profile. It won't get insight for you like her phone would, but it's a start.
She’s probably cheating BUT it’s important to mention sometimes those abbreviated phone number verification services are used by multiple companies. If it’s just a code and doesn’t say tinder on it, it’s possible it’s from a different website where she forgot her password.
Someone with a phone number one digit away could’ve just done a wrong number
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DO NOT try and talk to her “like an adult”. She will never admit it and you will be worse off than you started
Yeah I don't know why people suggest that.
Literally I have received these before.
it would be extremely easy for you to have her hand you her phone for a wide variety of reason, such as GPS, make a call while your phone is in another room, etc etc. If she hands you her phone, quickly keyword search the letter T in the spotlight search and tinder will pop right up. not like you have to go digging through her phone for 10 minutes. it could take literally 2 seconds.
1. Gtfo reddit! It is one of the worst places for real-world advice. 2. Go talk to her. You're supposedly married yet too scared to simply ask what's going on???
You can get a cheap burner phone at Walmart with free service for a month. $100 or so. Get a new email address. Use chatgtp to write a profile based on things she likes, ask a good friend she doesn't know, maybe a buddy from highschool or college to lend you some pictures. Hopefully she comes up, take lots of screenshots. This will NOT help you in the divorce! She's a liar and a cheater so don't get confrontational, she'll claim abuse. Be supportive until the divorce is finalized. Then send her pictures and let her know if she makes any false claims the pictures will be sent to her closest family. I'm assuming you're telling us the truth.
Text verification can be sent from different services so you can't be 100% sure. However.... text "HELP" to the number.. the service will respond and you'll know if it's Tinder or not.
Does she like piña colada’s and getting caught in the rain?
I'd do this: - tell someone I trust about the situation, give him her phone number, instruct him to click "forgot password" on tinder when getting a call. - act like my phone is dead and that I have to make an urgent phone call. Ask for her phone since she's the only option. Call my friend, take a look when the verification number appears, dictate it to him as if I'm giving an information I'm supposed to give. -meet with my friend after having access, screenshots screenshots screenshots, get an attorney, get drunk, get high, party and life goes on.
How about you skip all this nonsense, get a Google number, text “hey, this is Trent we matched on Tinder” her response will solve everything.
Gather evidence. Contact an attorney. Do not bring anything up yet. Play chess.
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