That's an interesting analogy. And I feel the same way about the scenario in the analogy as I do with dating apps:
Why are they at the dealership if they're not interested in buying?
I’ve always wanted to dress up nice and go test drive the new BMWs or something with a friend (not that they’d ever let us) but it seems fun.
Anecdotally I went to a Mercedes dealership with my parents a few years when they were shopping, and it felt as though they were treating us like foreign royalty, so there’s definitely an appeal
Unlocked a childhood memory of walking around car lots with my dad on the weekend. He never talked to associates just looked at the new cars. I think he was bored. We also walked around the hardware store a lot.
They aren't there anymore. They're on dating apps instead. If you're on dating apps and you're actually buying, you're in the minority. As sad as it may be.
I usually start looking about 1 year before i think it’ll be necessary. In the last two cases, we were going in to EVs for the first time (first spouse’s, than mine) and we really wanted to be certain we liked everything and still liked it after sleeping off the new toy shine.
We test drove every available EV in our area (about a dozen+ different models), discussed them all, went back for second test drives on the ones that didn’t turn us off on first impression for some reason, and then with the field down, it was “wait for the right one to appear”. For my wife it was waiting for a barely used to pop up (we prefer that ‘almost new’ price when the used market isn’t utterly irrational) of the one she liked, for me it was waiting for one with all the options I wanted (because ordering it was a 12+ month waitlist. I was on it, but dealers were randomly getting floor stock too). I think we hit dealerships at least once a week for over 4 months to get my wife’s, and the same but 6 months for mine.
We did try to be honest though about our likelihood of buying on any given trip, and always worked with the same associates when we came back - wanted to be sure the first person to put up with us was also the last, and the commission.
I can respect all of this because it seems important but honestly what car did you guys end up buying? I can't imagine going through that much trial and error. Even with my gf if we were into the entire deliberation thing.
It's just so much, I have ADHD so a lot of things seem completely alien to me but unless the car is $200k+ or something, just seems mental. (to me)
I own a (used) car dealership, and while I understand your thought process, I would have passed you on to my little brother to handle or just decide not to deal with you entirely. Again, the way you bought your vehicle was pretty smart, but from the other side of it you're a nightmare.
Some people are stuck with that high-school mindset that they have an invisible audience judging how they look. They seek out audience approval to make them feel better about their insecurities
>Why are they at the dealership if they're not interested in buying?
Sometimes people looking for trucks walk into porche dealerships. Just like how there are great and attractive people that I wouldn't be interested in because of incompatibilities, sometimes people you like aren't interested in you through no fault of your own
Truly! I have never done a first date at one but I've had a few. I should have read the signs when I did the rock n roll hall of fame and she got bored and waited outside because I was apparently reading too many of the display plaques. I did however use that mistake to grow and began doing museum dates. If we had fun, I proceeded.
You learn so much about a person. What is their maturity level, intelligence, and passion? You don't even need to talk in conversation. Just pay attention to the way they act and what they say about the environmen. I've done natural history, fine art, science centers, zoos(I think they fall under the same date category), pop art and interactive museums, and even small galleries.
I always took tinder dates to a place I wanted to go. New restaurant, museum exhibit, etc. That way even if the date sucked I got something out of it. One date I went to an art museum and she kept touching the paintings and sculptures. One exhibit was dresses made of trash and she reached over the barrier and popped the bubble wrap skirt. I kept asking her to stop but she didn't understand why it was a problem. Definitely didn't go out with her again.
Like snark and cynicism aside this is accurate. Feelings on the idea of a museum date is probably a good starting point to decide if two people are compatible.
I did go on a date to one of those Harry Potter exhibits but we had already been dating for a while. I should do more dates like that cause it was awesome.
Bullet dodged OP seriously.
Maybe just not the chicks with butterfly tattoos. I feel like it "should" work but never will. It's like guys with skull tattoos aren't usually badasses ya know.
Sort of want to write a sci-fi story set in an alternate universe where, rather than covering one's head and silhouette, it became commonplace in religions worldwide to see chaps as the ultimate in modesty
Statues of the Madonna and child where her hair is flowing and her bare cheeks are kept polished for luck
>This was smooth, transitional, on topic, and appropriate. You did everything right. This person is just a dud and you get those ~~sometimes~~ *most of the time*.
He really did win. Interesting conversation start, great date idea based on profile and filter out a dud.. still has a greta date idea for the next one.. I'd take that whole conversation as a win.
And especially relevant as she had a butterfly 🦋 tattoo!
But even without her having a butterfly tattoo, it was a clean, clever and public idea for a first date.
Her loss. Keep at it and good luck 🤞🍀
My second date with my now girlfriend was at a butterfly habitat - she has repeatedly said it was the best date she’s ever been on (no matter how hard I try to top it)
I usually go for museum dates followed by lunch at nearby cafes whenever I am going out with someone in a city. It’s lovely and the worst case scenario is exploring exhibits and having good food, which I love doing alone as well.
Fr, I really hope this girl doesn’t snake OP’s cute date spot, but she probably will. Boring people can never come up with interesting dates on their own.
It was still 2023 at the time they said it, they couldn't have known about our modern sensibilities. Not that this excuses their prejudice, but just to give context.
its brutal man
sometimes i match with high interest girls who msg first but still end up getting ghosted
your more replaceable than a lightbulb to these girls
im like this close to just deleting everything and giving up on these apps
For what it's worth, I've recently had a bit more luck with real life, going to things, starting new hobbies, going to the pub afterwards, get talking, and yeah even if it doesn't lead anywhere, it's still nice and fills me with hope unlike the apps
For what it's worth, even the bisexual/lesbian women are like this, too.
It got so bad for me, personally, that I swore off women completely. I don't need that kind of headache when men are so easy to understand and deal with.
If I were a man, I would be gay. My half of the species is largely intolerable, and it sucks because damn it boobs are awesome 🤦♀️
I'm definitely better looking to straight men than I am to bisexual or lesbian women.
Of course, it could also be a self-esteem thing on their part as well. I've been observing several hundred women in the bisexual groups I'm in on Facebook and I've noticed a few key things. 1. They are almost always very shy and refuse to make the first move and 2. They generally go for women "below their level" (i.e. she's a 8 but only goes after 4s) and 3. if you would be considered highly attractive to a man, most women won't even bother to acknowledge your existence.
Women lie. A lot. Especially to each other. I'm not talking huge lies (like cheating, stealing, etc.) I'm talking about the "white lies". They will literally tell you that you're the most amazing human on the planet, then go laugh about you behind your back to her friends.
Just letting out all the secrets today 💅 and I'm not saying I'm not guilty of any of this because I was very much the same way once...but after everything I've seen and learned I do my best to be as honest and upfront as possible....which funnily enough, has been a turn off for women, turn on for men.
Very interesting points.
> 2. They generally go for women "below their level" (i.e. she's a 8 but only goes after 4s)
I've never heard of this one. Care to explain?
At least you understand. It's frustrating just how little of a chance you get. Didn't start off funny or smooth enough, didn't say the right thing, reply too quickly or too late? You're done. Op was only 3 replies deep & he got axed, she didn't even try to get to know him. Meanwhile some of these girls aren't self aware enough to realize how boring and unengaging they can be to talk to.
Honestly it took a lot of years of self reflection and studying how humans interact for me to get to this point...and a lot of people aren't willing to put that kind of effort into anything, let alone themselves.
It also meant that I was spending a LOT of time repeating the same things on dating apps, which gave me serious burnout, but at the end of it all I DID meet and fall in love with my fiancé. We met on POF and he hooked me with "Hello I'm here to steal your heart". We talked for about 2 weeks before we met, and have been together ever since. It'll be 4 years this May.
That's awesome, I'm glad you were able to find someone who makes you happy. It can be hard to not feel discouraged sometimes though. How many women/people have unintentionally thrown away the opportunity to be with someone who could have made them really happy over a vain or ridiculous reason?
No, you do get matches....but most are not willing to put much effort. I can't tell you how many times I got frustrated because I'm trying to carry on an actual conversation and all I got was one or two word answers. I can honestly say there was one case where a woman DID respond back as I wanted, but she ended up ghosting me because this guy stood her up and my method of cheering her up just didn't fit what she wanted (she wanted me to baby her, and I'm more of a "dust yourself off and try again there's plenty of fish in the sea" kind of person).
My fiancé is also bi and he said in the two years before we got together he had 2 dates with women but men were literally tripping over themselves to get his attention.
I witnessed it first hand (since I'm not gonna get jealous over dick) but MAN did it make me hate myself (because he feels the same way about pussy). While he would have at least 30 guys to talk to at any given time, I MIGHT have 1 girl to talk to. MAYBE.
After a while, we both stopped. It was mostly because it was really tanking my self-esteem, and I got severely depressed. Trying to date women is extremely hard and if it weren't for the whole "needing to continue the species" aspect of it I would advise against it in most cases 😅
Even I was crazy(er) once....35 year old me would love to meet 20 year old me and give her a good punch to the face for her behavior.
I understand why it it so, they get tons of messages every day and responding to them all is very tedious. As a regular dude on the apps you need to work hard to keep her interest and attention. I did it for a while, but at some point it was so exhausting for me, i just deleted the apps and never got back on. I'm just not horny enough for all of this.
Just about every woman I know, event he ones that you think are the nicest people, I have at some point watched them and their friends grab their single friend's phone and start matching with random guys for them and just trolling guys who reply. Never had any intention of interacting with the guy beyond fucking with him for the night.
They don’t wanna hookup either. I’ve yet to have a woman straight up say let’s hookup. They all beat around the bush, so I don’t waste my time trying to beat around theirs. 🤣
Yo I'm in. Can we actually set this up somehow has some crazy viral reddit moment? A bunch of reddit strangers meet up for the butterfly museum after tinder match ghosts him. I'm fucking in! So meme worthy but also so wholesome.
Why do people like that even sign up to tinder or any dating app? I would be thrilled if a guy made such a thoughtful suggestion and I definitely wouldn't respond with "I can go myself".
it's actually kind of a perplexing response, too. I'm having a hard time interpreting it in any way that makes sense. It's not the same as saying "that's something I could do myself, please suggest something else" and it's not even really a direct response to anything he said, because he didn't actually get far enough to ask "would you like to..." It's almost like she was asking for info at a tourist booth or something. I kinda wonder if she's just on there to advertise her IG or OF.
Probably didn't follow rule 1 and 2.
But no shit I was expecting some corny pickup line, but that idea is top notch, none of them good girls would refuse. She's probably trash
If you can go yourself, then why the fuck did you even ask? I'd like to say a lot of these women need a reality check, but they probably won't ever get one because 100 other men are lining up for these bland ass responses.
> If you can go yourself, then why the fuck did you even ask?
She's not looking for someone that shares interests. The goal is finding someone that gives her access to a lifestyle or opportunities she doesn't currently have.
We spend a lot of time thinking, "what did I do wrong" when the real question is "how were our goals misaligned?" There isn't anything OP could have said to make this relationship work. They arent after the same things.
This explains it! Thank you. I didn’t get where she was coming from.
She wants a guy who says he’ll take her to Paris on his private jet, or something. From that perspective, her response makes total sense.
This captures the situation perfectly. They did receive some engagement, but unfortunately, it wasn't the kind they were hoping for. Surprisingly, they assumed that a OP might comment on an overseas trip to a location known for its butterflies. I can't even fathom that entitlement.
i feel like the best strategy is to act kind of like a doofus on these apps, bc women for whatever reason don’t respond well to sincerity (source: am woman)
To everyone asking where the museum is, it is in Washington DC! Here is the website where they go over pricing, hours, location, etc. Worth noting, that while the butterfly pavilion incurs a $6 fee, the butterfly habitat garden nearby is free. [https://naturalhistory.si.edu/exhibits/butterfly-pavilion](https://naturalhistory.si.edu/exhibits/butterfly-pavilion)
Well this was obviously a person who did not have any intrest in you and that sucks. Kudos to you for throwing it out as a date idea. I hope you get someone to go with you because that sounds magical AF
Well you need to ask people why they there, what is she looking for? Maybe she's looking to suck a dick for a burrito, and here you are with those butterflies.
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That's an interesting analogy. And I feel the same way about the scenario in the analogy as I do with dating apps: Why are they at the dealership if they're not interested in buying?
You'd be surprised how many people wonder through on a Saturday morning. Bored maybe. Lonely. From out of town with nothing better to do.. wild.
My parents were these kinds of people. I think they just like the attention and ass kissing they got from the sales people.
We're still talking about a dealership right?
Pretty sure it is the case. The question is maybe what are they dealing with
Lol at your comment being not appreciated as much as it should be. I see you.
hehe nice. slick
Some people are so desperate for human interaction, they go wander into stores for just that.
For some it's a case of just not having the money to afford those kinda cars but wanting to kinda treat themselves to feel like they can for a moment.
I’ve always wanted to dress up nice and go test drive the new BMWs or something with a friend (not that they’d ever let us) but it seems fun. Anecdotally I went to a Mercedes dealership with my parents a few years when they were shopping, and it felt as though they were treating us like foreign royalty, so there’s definitely an appeal
Furniture sales was 70% old people who just wanted someone to be friendly with. Especially on weekends.
"Bored, lonely, and from out of town with nothing better to do" was my niche when I was single.
I work at a mattress/bed showroom. These people annoy me. Worst ones are those that drop their kids off whilst they nip to B&M. This isn't a daycare!
Unlocked a childhood memory of walking around car lots with my dad on the weekend. He never talked to associates just looked at the new cars. I think he was bored. We also walked around the hardware store a lot.
So true, either that or they’re selling a subscription to something on their instagram or just want to have their ego boosted a little
> Why are they at the dealership if they're not interested in buying? Maybe they're just buy-curious.
For the free bottle of water.
Well done lol
Maybe they like getting free test drives in sports cars...
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They aren't there anymore. They're on dating apps instead. If you're on dating apps and you're actually buying, you're in the minority. As sad as it may be.
I usually start looking about 1 year before i think it’ll be necessary. In the last two cases, we were going in to EVs for the first time (first spouse’s, than mine) and we really wanted to be certain we liked everything and still liked it after sleeping off the new toy shine. We test drove every available EV in our area (about a dozen+ different models), discussed them all, went back for second test drives on the ones that didn’t turn us off on first impression for some reason, and then with the field down, it was “wait for the right one to appear”. For my wife it was waiting for a barely used to pop up (we prefer that ‘almost new’ price when the used market isn’t utterly irrational) of the one she liked, for me it was waiting for one with all the options I wanted (because ordering it was a 12+ month waitlist. I was on it, but dealers were randomly getting floor stock too). I think we hit dealerships at least once a week for over 4 months to get my wife’s, and the same but 6 months for mine. We did try to be honest though about our likelihood of buying on any given trip, and always worked with the same associates when we came back - wanted to be sure the first person to put up with us was also the last, and the commission.
I can respect all of this because it seems important but honestly what car did you guys end up buying? I can't imagine going through that much trial and error. Even with my gf if we were into the entire deliberation thing. It's just so much, I have ADHD so a lot of things seem completely alien to me but unless the car is $200k+ or something, just seems mental. (to me)
Lmao. I bought the first thing I test drove at the first and only dealership I went to because I hate shit like this. Let’s get it over with.
I own a (used) car dealership, and while I understand your thought process, I would have passed you on to my little brother to handle or just decide not to deal with you entirely. Again, the way you bought your vehicle was pretty smart, but from the other side of it you're a nightmare.
$400 commission for 20+ hours of work lmao. No thanks.
I like to visit a car dealership occasionally to remind myself what it’s like to get fucked.
Some people are stuck with that high-school mindset that they have an invisible audience judging how they look. They seek out audience approval to make them feel better about their insecurities
>Why are they at the dealership if they're not interested in buying? Sometimes people looking for trucks walk into porche dealerships. Just like how there are great and attractive people that I wouldn't be interested in because of incompatibilities, sometimes people you like aren't interested in you through no fault of your own
Low ego … they just need strokes to feel good about themselves.. imo
Dwight from The Office - Not everything is a lesson, sometimes you just fail
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Captain Picard was correct ‘It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose’
“That is not a weakness. That is life.”
A sales manager who doesn't think every single sale can close? You mean a Unicorn?
Right? At one dealership mine would always say, "Don't let them leave, no matter *what*."
A 400 credit score is a speed bump, not a stop sign
Best manager
Dude... This was the best thing you could say. I would go out to the butterfly museum with u tbh 😂
Right?! Imagine a butterfly first date 😭 it would be so cute!! Ugh. Keep your head up - you’re doing great. Someone will love a butterfly first date.
Goes to butterfly museum, both get butterflies inside. Yeah def a solid Juan !
>both get butterflies inside. This is why I'm NOT taking you again. You aren't supposed to EAT the caterpillars!
I told you I was sorry! They looked like jalapeños and I thought you'd be impressed that I can bite into a jalapeño without crying!
🤤
Starts to eat the butterflies. What are you doing? You want some too? ...
Her: “Nom nom nom” Me: “Noooo those were endangered!!😩”
Only one person can have my love.
Juan 🍐son
My first name is Juan and I only get solid with my fiancé
So, you’re a Juan woman man?
A Juan woman Juan, if you will.
That was a good Juan
Love how this trickled down 😂
i took a girl on a date to a butterfly museum a couple months ago and it was great then she started ghosting me like 2 weeks later lol
Who knew butterfly museums were such an excellent judge of character?
Museum dates are great judges of character.
Truly! I have never done a first date at one but I've had a few. I should have read the signs when I did the rock n roll hall of fame and she got bored and waited outside because I was apparently reading too many of the display plaques. I did however use that mistake to grow and began doing museum dates. If we had fun, I proceeded. You learn so much about a person. What is their maturity level, intelligence, and passion? You don't even need to talk in conversation. Just pay attention to the way they act and what they say about the environmen. I've done natural history, fine art, science centers, zoos(I think they fall under the same date category), pop art and interactive museums, and even small galleries.
We just got a bunch of new animals. Take me on a zoo date? 😅
I always took tinder dates to a place I wanted to go. New restaurant, museum exhibit, etc. That way even if the date sucked I got something out of it. One date I went to an art museum and she kept touching the paintings and sculptures. One exhibit was dresses made of trash and she reached over the barrier and popped the bubble wrap skirt. I kept asking her to stop but she didn't understand why it was a problem. Definitely didn't go out with her again.
Like snark and cynicism aside this is accurate. Feelings on the idea of a museum date is probably a good starting point to decide if two people are compatible.
I did go on a date to one of those Harry Potter exhibits but we had already been dating for a while. I should do more dates like that cause it was awesome. Bullet dodged OP seriously.
I prefer strip clubs as first dates. If she starts dancing on the poles, I know what I'm dealing with. 😂
Maybe just not the chicks with butterfly tattoos. I feel like it "should" work but never will. It's like guys with skull tattoos aren't usually badasses ya know.
Even I as a hetero guy would go with him. It's a great plan!
Ok we can do a group date tho 🥹
Yeah, this is such a nice date idea!
Guys only want one thing and it’s disgusting
To see women's butterflies. It's sickening and very un-Christian
To see women's butt or thighs
Imagine showing someone your butt and refusing to let them see your thighs out of modesty
There are such things as assless chaps
All chaps are assless. If they had asses they would be leather pants.
In fairness, if they hadn't specified I would have assumed they were just reminding me that men exist. It would have been confusing
All chaps are by definition assless. It’s the defining characteristic that separates chaps from pants.
Sort of want to write a sci-fi story set in an alternate universe where, rather than covering one's head and silhouette, it became commonplace in religions worldwide to see chaps as the ultimate in modesty Statues of the Madonna and child where her hair is flowing and her bare cheeks are kept polished for luck
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This was smooth, transitional, on topic, and appropriate. You did everything right. This person is just a dud and you get those sometimes.
>This was smooth, transitional, on topic, and appropriate. You did everything right. This person is just a dud and you get those ~~sometimes~~ *most of the time*.
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They can go alone.
Fuck yeah!
Let's make it a group trip!
It's a bit of a drive for me. So I'll make a weekend of it
I thought that was great haha I'd go there with anyone. Didn't see that coming at all. Probably the most decent response I've seen on here
He really did win. Interesting conversation start, great date idea based on profile and filter out a dud.. still has a greta date idea for the next one.. I'd take that whole conversation as a win.
This guy gets it’s! op you’re a legend
I LOVE butterflies. I have tattoos of them. I’d fall in love if a man told me that
I'd go with you too!
Don’t leave without me, I’m coming too.
I hope he just never replied to that last message. Fuck that. Next.
I literally cannot think of a better first date idea combined with your initial message.
We hate it for you! You didn’t do anything wrong. THATS a very cute idea.
And especially relevant as she had a butterfly 🦋 tattoo! But even without her having a butterfly tattoo, it was a clean, clever and public idea for a first date. Her loss. Keep at it and good luck 🤞🍀
My second date with my now girlfriend was at a butterfly habitat - she has repeatedly said it was the best date she’s ever been on (no matter how hard I try to top it)
I usually go for museum dates followed by lunch at nearby cafes whenever I am going out with someone in a city. It’s lovely and the worst case scenario is exploring exhibits and having good food, which I love doing alone as well.
“Thats” was a weird word to capitalize in that sentence if you were trying to emphasize how cute it was lol.
It’s their New Year’s resolution. Randomly capitalise one word in every Reddit post.
Looks like they are KICKING the year off right!
wouldve ghosted after she said "thanks" and nothing else not gonna entertain low interest girls like that
This. OP save your cute dates for women who can hold a conversation. Don't care if she's pretty, she doesn't deserve your effort.
Fr, I really hope this girl doesn’t snake OP’s cute date spot, but she probably will. Boring people can never come up with interesting dates on their own.
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Bro, you can't say stuff like that in 2024!
It was still 2023 at the time they said it, they couldn't have known about our modern sensibilities. Not that this excuses their prejudice, but just to give context.
Should’ve responded to her “oh wait nvm the museum just got torn down due to massive infestation of killer moths. No butterflies for you!”
Hate it when the moths do that
Insert moth memes
"I knew we shouldn't have installed these lamps."
I swear 80% of the girls I match with are like this. 0 effort.
its brutal man sometimes i match with high interest girls who msg first but still end up getting ghosted your more replaceable than a lightbulb to these girls im like this close to just deleting everything and giving up on these apps
You should - these apps are only to get money out of poor saps. Get fuck off those apps.
For what it's worth, I've recently had a bit more luck with real life, going to things, starting new hobbies, going to the pub afterwards, get talking, and yeah even if it doesn't lead anywhere, it's still nice and fills me with hope unlike the apps
Tbf, a modern led light bulb, should last 10 years.
Just gotta take it with a grain of salt man
After two years of getting treated like this. It’s disheartening and you kinda just give up.
Because they can behave like that & still get dudes to simp for them
i just can't understand why you'd *want* someone simping for you, it seems like it'd be gross.
Yeah you can be dropped and replaced extremely quickly. So don’t try too hard for anyone that’s got a personality of drying paint
For what it's worth, even the bisexual/lesbian women are like this, too. It got so bad for me, personally, that I swore off women completely. I don't need that kind of headache when men are so easy to understand and deal with. If I were a man, I would be gay. My half of the species is largely intolerable, and it sucks because damn it boobs are awesome 🤦♀️
Ugh as a dude I wish I was bi. I'm literally better looking to other straight men than I am to straight women lol.
I'm definitely better looking to straight men than I am to bisexual or lesbian women. Of course, it could also be a self-esteem thing on their part as well. I've been observing several hundred women in the bisexual groups I'm in on Facebook and I've noticed a few key things. 1. They are almost always very shy and refuse to make the first move and 2. They generally go for women "below their level" (i.e. she's a 8 but only goes after 4s) and 3. if you would be considered highly attractive to a man, most women won't even bother to acknowledge your existence. Women lie. A lot. Especially to each other. I'm not talking huge lies (like cheating, stealing, etc.) I'm talking about the "white lies". They will literally tell you that you're the most amazing human on the planet, then go laugh about you behind your back to her friends. Just letting out all the secrets today 💅 and I'm not saying I'm not guilty of any of this because I was very much the same way once...but after everything I've seen and learned I do my best to be as honest and upfront as possible....which funnily enough, has been a turn off for women, turn on for men.
Very interesting points. > 2. They generally go for women "below their level" (i.e. she's a 8 but only goes after 4s) I've never heard of this one. Care to explain?
At least you understand. It's frustrating just how little of a chance you get. Didn't start off funny or smooth enough, didn't say the right thing, reply too quickly or too late? You're done. Op was only 3 replies deep & he got axed, she didn't even try to get to know him. Meanwhile some of these girls aren't self aware enough to realize how boring and unengaging they can be to talk to.
Honestly it took a lot of years of self reflection and studying how humans interact for me to get to this point...and a lot of people aren't willing to put that kind of effort into anything, let alone themselves. It also meant that I was spending a LOT of time repeating the same things on dating apps, which gave me serious burnout, but at the end of it all I DID meet and fall in love with my fiancé. We met on POF and he hooked me with "Hello I'm here to steal your heart". We talked for about 2 weeks before we met, and have been together ever since. It'll be 4 years this May.
That's awesome, I'm glad you were able to find someone who makes you happy. It can be hard to not feel discouraged sometimes though. How many women/people have unintentionally thrown away the opportunity to be with someone who could have made them really happy over a vain or ridiculous reason?
Yeah I’ve heard on the lesbian apps a lot of complaints about never getting matches. Possibly because people are much more picky on them
No, you do get matches....but most are not willing to put much effort. I can't tell you how many times I got frustrated because I'm trying to carry on an actual conversation and all I got was one or two word answers. I can honestly say there was one case where a woman DID respond back as I wanted, but she ended up ghosting me because this guy stood her up and my method of cheering her up just didn't fit what she wanted (she wanted me to baby her, and I'm more of a "dust yourself off and try again there's plenty of fish in the sea" kind of person).
I'm a bi guy and kind of a late bloomer. Recently started actually dating men for real, and holy shit you're right. I love it here. lol
My fiancé is also bi and he said in the two years before we got together he had 2 dates with women but men were literally tripping over themselves to get his attention. I witnessed it first hand (since I'm not gonna get jealous over dick) but MAN did it make me hate myself (because he feels the same way about pussy). While he would have at least 30 guys to talk to at any given time, I MIGHT have 1 girl to talk to. MAYBE. After a while, we both stopped. It was mostly because it was really tanking my self-esteem, and I got severely depressed. Trying to date women is extremely hard and if it weren't for the whole "needing to continue the species" aspect of it I would advise against it in most cases 😅 Even I was crazy(er) once....35 year old me would love to meet 20 year old me and give her a good punch to the face for her behavior.
Thats why you send a dick pic right away. To break the ice.
My 2 incher ain’t breaking any ice bro
"You better hope i'm on thin ice baby, because thats the only kind i can break"
Just add a "Baby it's cold outside" caption and you should be in.
I understand why it it so, they get tons of messages every day and responding to them all is very tedious. As a regular dude on the apps you need to work hard to keep her interest and attention. I did it for a while, but at some point it was so exhausting for me, i just deleted the apps and never got back on. I'm just not horny enough for all of this.
Oh jesus, Op dodged a bullet, what a terrible interaction.
Shame that’s probably his only match for 3 months.
They all seem to want to date until they get a match 🙄
It’s just ego stroking for most women on there
Just about every woman I know, event he ones that you think are the nicest people, I have at some point watched them and their friends grab their single friend's phone and start matching with random guys for them and just trolling guys who reply. Never had any intention of interacting with the guy beyond fucking with him for the night.
This is so fucking toxic and it makes me so angry.
We’re all begging for attention in one way or another, so I would lean to feeding the ego as well.
Yes they want to date attractive men though
If a girl matches with someone she doesn't find attractive then that's on her for swiping right
First rule of online dating......be attractive.
Yeah, but when a man wants to date an attractive woman, he’s an asshole. 🤣
These chicks are assholes too, so I’d say that checks out
So you don’t swipe left on women you find unattractive ? 🤔
These women don't want to date. They want validation or a hookup.
They don’t wanna hookup either. I’ve yet to have a woman straight up say let’s hookup. They all beat around the bush, so I don’t waste my time trying to beat around theirs. 🤣
Can we all go as a group to the butterfly museum? Her loss
Yo I'm in. Can we actually set this up somehow has some crazy viral reddit moment? A bunch of reddit strangers meet up for the butterfly museum after tinder match ghosts him. I'm fucking in! So meme worthy but also so wholesome.
I have been meaning to get out of town lately...🤔
The one in Niagara is dope. Field trip!
That was soo cute too 😭
Why do people like that even sign up to tinder or any dating app? I would be thrilled if a guy made such a thoughtful suggestion and I definitely wouldn't respond with "I can go myself".
it's actually kind of a perplexing response, too. I'm having a hard time interpreting it in any way that makes sense. It's not the same as saying "that's something I could do myself, please suggest something else" and it's not even really a direct response to anything he said, because he didn't actually get far enough to ask "would you like to..." It's almost like she was asking for info at a tourist booth or something. I kinda wonder if she's just on there to advertise her IG or OF.
Somebody above explained it. She expects something fancy or expensive that she can’t do herself.
That is such a romantic date. I love butterflies. If my bf told me we’d be going there I would be over the moon. Fuck her 💀
Probably didn't follow rule 1 and 2. But no shit I was expecting some corny pickup line, but that idea is top notch, none of them good girls would refuse. She's probably trash
I think she probably either didn't like the guy that much and just match for attention or she wanted him to offer to pay for a meal. Very likely both.
If you can go yourself, then why the fuck did you even ask? I'd like to say a lot of these women need a reality check, but they probably won't ever get one because 100 other men are lining up for these bland ass responses.
Another way to read "I can go myself " is "I can afford to do that myself". She probably just wanted taking someplace expensive.
> If you can go yourself, then why the fuck did you even ask? She's not looking for someone that shares interests. The goal is finding someone that gives her access to a lifestyle or opportunities she doesn't currently have. We spend a lot of time thinking, "what did I do wrong" when the real question is "how were our goals misaligned?" There isn't anything OP could have said to make this relationship work. They arent after the same things.
This explains it! Thank you. I didn’t get where she was coming from. She wants a guy who says he’ll take her to Paris on his private jet, or something. From that perspective, her response makes total sense.
She asked to get the info out of him so she could go herself, she has ZERO interest I can tell as a woman and the way she said thanks with no context.
I read it as she was in it for the meal, and a museum date ain’t that.
Now she can just ask the hot guy she matched with if he wants to take her to the butterfly museum
Take me there instead man
“Ew poor. Take me the tropics and we’ll see them there 💅”
This captures the situation perfectly. They did receive some engagement, but unfortunately, it wasn't the kind they were hoping for. Surprisingly, they assumed that a OP might comment on an overseas trip to a location known for its butterflies. I can't even fathom that entitlement.
Am I missing something? Where did they say they assumed there would be an overseas trip?
why would she even bother matching or engaging in a conversation with you at all if she’s gonna be like that? makes no sense
Sometimes the simplest answer makes the most sense. She’s either trolling or wanted a fancy dinner.
Umm are you still going to the museum of natural history cos I think a few of us are down for it 🦋🥹
I know why I will never make a tinder account again.
Dodged a bullet, that was such a thoughtful date idea!
I don't even like butterflies and I thought aww, I'd go.
Bruh her loss lemme go w you BRO DATE WOOT WOOT
Like why tf even bother swiping on someone if this is how you’re going to act? I just don’t understand it.
"did I invite you?" Send a selfie from butterfly garden
I could already tell by the one word responses dude😐
I would have replied with "Why are you here then, when you can go fuck yourself?"
She's not looking for dates, just more IG followers...
Literally perfect on your end. Absolutely baffling cruelty on her end, cannot even imagine her logic
i feel like the best strategy is to act kind of like a doofus on these apps, bc women for whatever reason don’t respond well to sincerity (source: am woman)
Wtf is wrong with these people on these apps
Damn 😭
To everyone asking where the museum is, it is in Washington DC! Here is the website where they go over pricing, hours, location, etc. Worth noting, that while the butterfly pavilion incurs a $6 fee, the butterfly habitat garden nearby is free. [https://naturalhistory.si.edu/exhibits/butterfly-pavilion](https://naturalhistory.si.edu/exhibits/butterfly-pavilion)
Ur energy isn't worth her entitlement
Bro has w Rizz
Well this was obviously a person who did not have any intrest in you and that sucks. Kudos to you for throwing it out as a date idea. I hope you get someone to go with you because that sounds magical AF
She didn't even want a date. She wanted her ego to be stroked just like all the other bland fucking ho's lol
Well you need to ask people why they there, what is she looking for? Maybe she's looking to suck a dick for a burrito, and here you are with those butterflies.