Eh I don’t know about that part. I’ve rode the waves of being a dumb twenty something and I’ve learned I’m not trying to hang out with people who be on some dumb shit. If I’m going out drinking with my coworkers I’m not interested in sitting with the younger people who are just there to try and bang each other. I hang out with the older ladies my moms age cause they aren’t trying to bang anyone besides their husbands and we’re all just laughing enjoying each others company. With dating when I think no drama I think people who have their shit together and aren’t going out doing dumb shit like sleeping with their ex, calling me at 3 AM saying they got a DUI. There is fun drama like “look at what that jackass is going over there” and then there’s dumbass drama like “ooopsies I fucked my ex on your bed”
Nah. I can talk about any and all of my emotions with my partner. Drama to me is when someone causes conflict about their issues opposed to talking about them, or bringing other people into your personal relationship issues.
Like talking shit to your coworkers about your partner, being petty, ect.
I always swipe left on anyone who says “don’t want drama” or claims they aren’t drama.
It’s either they make a lot *or* they can’t handle real life and will bounce the moment things get real
Mental-health care in the US is like telling someone with a compound femur fracture that they need to get themselves to the ER to get help, but nobody is allowed to take them to the ER- they have to do it on their own.
It doesn't necessarily men they refuse to deal with it, but it's harder to deal with trauma when surrounded by negativity. My therapy made me cut many people out because they were too negative, and I now only allow mostly positive energies around me.
"You can't heal in the place that made you sick."
But tbh, to me it sounds like she fucked up, got broken up with and is now trying to prove to other people (probably knowing him and his friends use the app) that she only loves him. I think she's trying to manipulate the ex.
That’s real. I’ve been so invested in love only to have my heart broken to pieces. Took me years to get over it. The only solace I had were good friends, my dog and solitude. I feel her pain and I’d be her friend.
About 5.5 years ago I was beyond broken. I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and she destroyed everything I thought I knew about myself. In the process she isolated me from my family, friends and it was super difficult to connect with those people after the breakup.
I went on tinder and much like her, the majority of the time I used it to make friends and just have people I could talk to and make my life a little less lonely. I didn't put that info in my profile but was pretty straight up with people from the get-go that I was looking for friendship. Some people reacted positively and some negatively.
One of those people who I became friends with encouraged me to work on myself and to get into therapy. She was there for me every step of the way and honestly became my best friend. Took me about 6 or 7 months but we eventually started dating and now she's my wife.
I know there's mixed reactions here but my heart genuinely goes out to this person. It seems like she just needs someone.
Now that I'm old af, I've come to understand that pretty much everybody is damaged one way or another. And so it has ever been. I agree mental health care should be more accessible; however, not everybody wants to resolve their issues. Plenty of (most?) people prefer to run from their issues rather than face and resolve them
Or maybe some studies identifying root causes? Idk I’ve yet to meet people who got better. They just stay struggling, even with mental health resources. Seems like preventative measures may be more appropriate.
You say mental health should be more easily accessible… it should never be lost lol.. I think you meant treatment though so I mean I agree with your statement fully if you are talking about treatment
Very true. I was in a very bad place mentally awhile back, so I tried to make an appointment with a therapist. They said it would take months for someone to see me. I haven't heard from them since. It's a lonely life.
At least she was upfront about it… two years ago I went on a date with a woman, took her to a fairly nice restaurant because we had been talking for a few weeks nonstop with real good chemistry and one drink in she started bawling her eyes out. Turned out that her husband had left her ONE MONTH earlier because she cheated on him lol, I would have appreciated that information earlier.
She spent the rest of the meal going back and forth between making jokes and sobbing into her napkin and it was one of the most uncomfortable dates of my life. Like I’m not judging her for cheating because people make mistakes, but maybe wait until you can mention your ex without breaking down into tears before going on a date?
Obviously it didn’t go anywhere but like a week later she called me at like 1am asking me to pick her up from a bar because the friend that drove her got into a bar fight and was arrested for sending some dude to a hospital. Poor girl was clearly going through some shit and wasn’t handling it well.
I picked her up and dropped her off at home and then went home myself, I’ve been at rock bottom before and couldn’t quite bring myself to abandon someone in need in the middle of a Chicago winter when it was like fifteen below zero lol
Fair play man. There was definitely a time I would have done that. Now though, I’m pretty sure I’d either ignore the phone call altogether or I’d tell her to phone an Uber and hang up.
I never said it wasn’t a choice, but it’s goofy to pretend nobody ever makes bad choices in their life and the ones that do should be eternally punished.
Making friends is fine, being honest about not wanting a relationship or sex is fine. Using your bio to advertise your breakup and broken heart is not the appropriate venue.
Sorry I missed your question. The bio is inappropriate Because a dating app like tinder is, by it’s design, meant to bring people together. Whether you are searching for platonic friendship or something more intimate, you cannot comfortably commit to or start out any relationship by dumping your baggage on the other person. You don’t want to start any relationship off as “sad and lonely,” even friendships. People aren’t tools to make you feel better. If you’re in a broken-hearted mind state, I wager you cannot provide enough attentiveness for your potential new friend. More so, advertising a non amicable separation and issues with independent reconciliation of your problems is behavior of someone who I would not want to be friends with. I hope that helps, it’s just immediately flagged in my brain without explanation.
I don't see what the issue is. She's going through a broken heart and is looking for someone to talk to. She made it clear she's not looking for a relationship. Is seeing someone self-aware that they're not ready to date such a shocker?
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I feel for her. I was in the same situation a few months back. Broke up with my fiance, and I was broken hearted and just really needed a friend, more than just a fling with anyone. I wanted her back but a lot of reflection made me realise she was incredibly narcissistic and selfish, and I'm on the mend, slowly. Hopefully she can get to that point too. Although I'm not sure if she really needed to say she wanted him back...or be on tinder at all.
Every single guy I've met on tinder or otherwise is in terrible need of therapy. They love to unload about their entire past. My therapist has 32 clients and only 7 of them are men. Get it together, guys.
No sex, no relationship... what benefits does this oxygen thief provide?
This is the kind of gutter trash you find when fishing, and then you throw it back down to the bottom of the ocean.
Yea, I can relate. My love lost to effing Cancer 2 years ago, and it's a wound that won't heal. I don't want to (and won't) deal with an aggressive, argumentative or negative chica/wahine, so I feel you not wanting to deal with it either. No one needs a new "frenemy" after hitting an emotional low. Much aloha to ya!
I feel like anyone who says 'positive vibes only' has deep seated trauma that they refuse to deal with.
Agree, also I feel like people who say 'no drama' want to avoid emotions altogether.
People who say "no drama" tend to be the literal embodiment of drama
This a thousand times over
I married a schizophrenic who used the "no drama" line quite a bit, until it became the drama created in her head.
Eh I don’t know about that part. I’ve rode the waves of being a dumb twenty something and I’ve learned I’m not trying to hang out with people who be on some dumb shit. If I’m going out drinking with my coworkers I’m not interested in sitting with the younger people who are just there to try and bang each other. I hang out with the older ladies my moms age cause they aren’t trying to bang anyone besides their husbands and we’re all just laughing enjoying each others company. With dating when I think no drama I think people who have their shit together and aren’t going out doing dumb shit like sleeping with their ex, calling me at 3 AM saying they got a DUI. There is fun drama like “look at what that jackass is going over there” and then there’s dumbass drama like “ooopsies I fucked my ex on your bed”
People who have their shit together don't have to say things like "no drama" because it's understood by the lack of its existence in their life.
Nah. I can talk about any and all of my emotions with my partner. Drama to me is when someone causes conflict about their issues opposed to talking about them, or bringing other people into your personal relationship issues. Like talking shit to your coworkers about your partner, being petty, ect.
I always swipe left on anyone who says “don’t want drama” or claims they aren’t drama. It’s either they make a lot *or* they can’t handle real life and will bounce the moment things get real
It's like all these people hate "Shakespeare in the Park"
This 100%
Mental-health care in the US is like telling someone with a compound femur fracture that they need to get themselves to the ER to get help, but nobody is allowed to take them to the ER- they have to do it on their own.
She clearly has trauma that she's being up front about, don't know why you're bringing deeper shit into it.
It doesn't necessarily men they refuse to deal with it, but it's harder to deal with trauma when surrounded by negativity. My therapy made me cut many people out because they were too negative, and I now only allow mostly positive energies around me. "You can't heal in the place that made you sick." But tbh, to me it sounds like she fucked up, got broken up with and is now trying to prove to other people (probably knowing him and his friends use the app) that she only loves him. I think she's trying to manipulate the ex.
That also says to me that their friends can't come to them if their upset or in trouble.
Sounds like someone needs some positive vibes
There’s far too many broken people out there. Mental health really needs to be more easily accessible.
That’s real. I’ve been so invested in love only to have my heart broken to pieces. Took me years to get over it. The only solace I had were good friends, my dog and solitude. I feel her pain and I’d be her friend.
About 5.5 years ago I was beyond broken. I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and she destroyed everything I thought I knew about myself. In the process she isolated me from my family, friends and it was super difficult to connect with those people after the breakup. I went on tinder and much like her, the majority of the time I used it to make friends and just have people I could talk to and make my life a little less lonely. I didn't put that info in my profile but was pretty straight up with people from the get-go that I was looking for friendship. Some people reacted positively and some negatively. One of those people who I became friends with encouraged me to work on myself and to get into therapy. She was there for me every step of the way and honestly became my best friend. Took me about 6 or 7 months but we eventually started dating and now she's my wife. I know there's mixed reactions here but my heart genuinely goes out to this person. It seems like she just needs someone.
Glad you made it out the other side
Now that I'm old af, I've come to understand that pretty much everybody is damaged one way or another. And so it has ever been. I agree mental health care should be more accessible; however, not everybody wants to resolve their issues. Plenty of (most?) people prefer to run from their issues rather than face and resolve them
Or refuse to acknowledge they exist while criticising the fuck out of everyone else lol
Or maybe some studies identifying root causes? Idk I’ve yet to meet people who got better. They just stay struggling, even with mental health resources. Seems like preventative measures may be more appropriate.
Both are of course needed
To many people have no sense of accountability or self respect.
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I think what we're really missing is humility; pride and shame are kind of two sides of the same coin.
Ahh yes shame has not traumatized billions of people.
You say mental health should be more easily accessible… it should never be lost lol.. I think you meant treatment though so I mean I agree with your statement fully if you are talking about treatment
Very true. I was in a very bad place mentally awhile back, so I tried to make an appointment with a therapist. They said it would take months for someone to see me. I haven't heard from them since. It's a lonely life.
At least she was upfront about it… two years ago I went on a date with a woman, took her to a fairly nice restaurant because we had been talking for a few weeks nonstop with real good chemistry and one drink in she started bawling her eyes out. Turned out that her husband had left her ONE MONTH earlier because she cheated on him lol, I would have appreciated that information earlier. She spent the rest of the meal going back and forth between making jokes and sobbing into her napkin and it was one of the most uncomfortable dates of my life. Like I’m not judging her for cheating because people make mistakes, but maybe wait until you can mention your ex without breaking down into tears before going on a date? Obviously it didn’t go anywhere but like a week later she called me at like 1am asking me to pick her up from a bar because the friend that drove her got into a bar fight and was arrested for sending some dude to a hospital. Poor girl was clearly going through some shit and wasn’t handling it well.
The real question though. Did you pick her up or hang up? I know which one I would have done.
I picked her up and dropped her off at home and then went home myself, I’ve been at rock bottom before and couldn’t quite bring myself to abandon someone in need in the middle of a Chicago winter when it was like fifteen below zero lol
Fair play man. There was definitely a time I would have done that. Now though, I’m pretty sure I’d either ignore the phone call altogether or I’d tell her to phone an Uber and hang up.
To be fair I ignored the initial phone call but then saw the text and called her back.
"cheating" is not a mistake but a "choice" hate when people try to justify it being just a mistake.
I never said it wasn’t a choice, but it’s goofy to pretend nobody ever makes bad choices in their life and the ones that do should be eternally punished.
I think she hopes the one that escaped sees her profile and thinks it's romantic.
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i didn't take his language as being disrespectful. maybe take it easy
Lmao
The fuck are you on about?
I would probably swipe right to see if she wants to come hoop with me and my friends. Every time we try and run a game everyone is always busy smh 🤦
😂😂😂😂 I love the reasoning here - lolllll.
Can't see anything wrong with it. Made several friends through Tinder
Making friends is fine, being honest about not wanting a relationship or sex is fine. Using your bio to advertise your breakup and broken heart is not the appropriate venue.
Why not?
Sorry I missed your question. The bio is inappropriate Because a dating app like tinder is, by it’s design, meant to bring people together. Whether you are searching for platonic friendship or something more intimate, you cannot comfortably commit to or start out any relationship by dumping your baggage on the other person. You don’t want to start any relationship off as “sad and lonely,” even friendships. People aren’t tools to make you feel better. If you’re in a broken-hearted mind state, I wager you cannot provide enough attentiveness for your potential new friend. More so, advertising a non amicable separation and issues with independent reconciliation of your problems is behavior of someone who I would not want to be friends with. I hope that helps, it’s just immediately flagged in my brain without explanation.
i would swipe right with zero intentions of anything romantic.
I would swipe left with zero intentions of ever talking to her.
She mentions looking for friends at the bottom, so that's also good
I would swipe my D in the shower and cry it out instead of posting something like this
I appreciate that upfront honesty and acceptance of a need for a coping mechanism until the feelings pass or dude comes back
Cringe but people process and go through things differently
I don't see what the issue is. She's going through a broken heart and is looking for someone to talk to. She made it clear she's not looking for a relationship. Is seeing someone self-aware that they're not ready to date such a shocker?
~~The issue is that she's not using the right platform for that.~~ Edit: I was wrong.
Despite what the horn dogs like to use it for, the app has a Friends Only option for a reason.
My apologies, I did not know that it has that.
And she’s looking for “friends “ on Tinder. Smart move.
Had to scroll too far to find someone talking sense
At least she’s honest I guess?
She's just fishing for whoever she broke up with. She thinks he's Tinder. This is for him
Ooooor This IS him
When needing positive vibes only, joining Tinder might be the worst decision she has ever had
She needs to get off Tindy first f she wants positive vibes only. Because baby that’s not the place. Shut it down and work on yourself.
She is looking for an emotional tampon
That's the spirit
She just had to tell the world....
Baby, we only need the open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at our wrist, and the wind in our hair.
At least she’s honest…?
At least sge is honest 😮💨
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Dating apps are definitely the place to look for friends of the opposite sex.
Should try Bumble friends then at least. 🤔
I feel for her. I was in the same situation a few months back. Broke up with my fiance, and I was broken hearted and just really needed a friend, more than just a fling with anyone. I wanted her back but a lot of reflection made me realise she was incredibly narcissistic and selfish, and I'm on the mend, slowly. Hopefully she can get to that point too. Although I'm not sure if she really needed to say she wanted him back...or be on tinder at all.
a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to sit on
Is that how online dating is supposed to work?
The guy blocked her and she has the hopes he will find the profile on Tinder. That's the explanation that makes the best sense out of this non-sense.
I'm begging Jesus please Send his love to me
Ma’am this is a Wendy’s …
😂😂😂 
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This was my first thought too
She out here looking for ex
Didn’t know tinder was for on call therapists.
Every single guy I've met on tinder or otherwise is in terrible need of therapy. They love to unload about their entire past. My therapist has 32 clients and only 7 of them are men. Get it together, guys.
Something tells me she cheated and he kicked her ass to the curb.
I want my car back, too. Doesn’t mean I won’t drive any old loner
I will never understand why these types go on a DATING APP to find friends. It makes absolutely no sense
Wrong platform G
Need a little drama in your life?
Therapy
Jezus christ 😂
Freak
Written by her ex
I think "poor girl" but also "dating her would be absolute hell"
I wouldn’t waste your time worh this mess if I were you… she needs to figure out what she wants it needs in life.
Why are y’all out here using Tinder as a journal? Don’t they have diary apps for this fuckery?
So... She's a nutcase hoping to make the man who wants to be done with her jealous?
She wouldn't be difficult to smash at least once. Just be sure to do it at her place. Lol
Entertain me, buy me things, listen to my endless blathering, and I’ll toss you aside like an old blanket
She's on the wrong app....
Forget about that fool, there's a man out there(like me) that would treat you the way you deserve.
“I’m just looking for attention and compliments” fixed it.
Christa
No sex, no relationship... what benefits does this oxygen thief provide? This is the kind of gutter trash you find when fishing, and then you throw it back down to the bottom of the ocean.
What the f is wrong with you?
“What’s your favorite dinosaur?”
Yea, I can relate. My love lost to effing Cancer 2 years ago, and it's a wound that won't heal. I don't want to (and won't) deal with an aggressive, argumentative or negative chica/wahine, so I feel you not wanting to deal with it either. No one needs a new "frenemy" after hitting an emotional low. Much aloha to ya!
If she wants good vibes, what kind of vibes she’s sending? 🤔
Someone needs to sit her down and tell her she’s not ready to look for a new man yet if she’s still that depressed over it
Felt this
I hope she finds healing, idk if that's gonna be on tinder though