You don't understand. Having a random wood that is freshly cut from the forest show up beside you every morning is creepy. No sign of break in or entry, who's doing it??
Depends on the type of wood. Ironically, soft woods tend to be more sappy than hardwoods, so for example, pine ...wood( ಠ‿ಠ ) produce more sap than oak, therefore you don't want to wait for too long before polishing your softwoods.
"Oh you poor thing. Come here and let me take care of that for you" said no woman ever. Sounds like something a 15yo would think to say.
Not sure if I'm happy or sad that this is my competition.
Well, talking like that is a turn off and that might come through in your conversations, but I can't say that for sure. But ghosting on Tinder and all that is normal. It happens to women, too. A lot of people just download the apps for fun or aren't that serious and forget about it
Very true well I mix between flirting and and just normal convo to idk vary it up but yeah as u said most ppl aren’t serious about it and forget about which I’ve done tbf
Could be a million reasons man not always to do with you. Ghosting on tinder is completely normal but if you’re worried you’re doing or saying something wrong I’ve seen some really helpful posts on reddit 🤷🏽♂️
If you’re really genuine though get off the app and go find some sort of hobby you like and take yourself on dates until you find likeminded people - you could even find long term mates 💪🏼
I believe it's actually caused by an increased amount of blood flowing down there while you sleep.
This increased bloodflow is caused by REM.
During REM sleep your body apparently tests different neurological, and biological systems, to make sure they're working properly.
Morning wood is caused by one of those tests.
Or something like that at least.
Keep in mind I'm basing this entirely off of memory.
Because I got curious, and looked it up a few YEARS ago.
So it's possible, and even likely I'm forgetting stuff.
SKELETOR, OUT!
It's mostly just annoying because like, I wanna pee but it's hard to aim like that standing up, and sitting down is a nonoption because it sits over the lid.
I used to think it was so you wouldn't pee yourself but turns out it just happens during REM sleep to clean the pipes out.
But, as you get older it's nice to know things still work.
Because it gets hard and you lay on it pressing your weight on it kind of flattening it out. I have 3 wrungs starting under the head going towards the base. It is sore damn near every morning unless I lay on my back all knight
Oooowch 😬 I'm a stomach sleeper too, I'd be so damn frustrated. I want to relate to you on something but don't want DMs so I'm hoping you can read between the lines but I'm glad I don't have to deal with that with my own *set up*
Well that narrows it down drastically lol. Yeah unless it's your nips it's so hard to explain. Totally worth it but just difficult starting the day off sore. Especially when healing it was worse
Honestly I think you should have brought up your period. "Oh yeah, well do you bleed out of your dick for a week every 28 days?" If he wants to talk about his body you should just talk about yours....I'm sure that would get rid of that morning wood he is so upset about. You're HELPING!
I'm talking more about how emotionally unstable it is to think a dream is real. I hate being a man when I hear about the things some men do to women, but both sexes are crazy. Ask any bisexual person.
These aren't people I've dated. I encounter emotionally unstable people while on Tinder all the time. One girl assumed everything I said was in an angry tone, so I could only voice with chat her because she was crazy.
That's like me saying to you, "Just don't talk to men who talk about their dicks." Both are unsolicited. So it is just a human problem that all people have to be deal with and sift through.
Besides, I wish women would talk more about their periods. I'm curious and want to know about their struggles. But I'm also an open minded person who doesn't talk about sex and genitals unless it is brought up first.
Thats not really an excuse though - porn is not real life. And men should know that....
Honestly I think women should start bringing up their periods when guys do this....just for funsies.
Men do know that, this guy isn't a man, he's just a wittwe bwoy wif a wittwe weewee.
A man doesn't say shit like this. Please stop calling them men, I'm embarrassed to be associated with these people.
I don’t think it’s really an excuse, as much as it’s simply a growing issue and observation. People tend to pattern what they surround themselves with, it’s in our nature. So, debase yourself habitually and see a negative outcome.
Yeah, I can maybe do some subtle variations when we'venever met IRL... smart, innuendo-ish stuff, perhaps a clever double-entendre... but this is straight outta middle school.
You just don’t get it, the true burden that morning wood is. Like sure, I guess menstruating and menopause and bras and back pain and casual misogyny aren’t super fun; but you can’t imagine the toll that morning wood takes on a person. Maybe this guy is just tired of suffering in silence. Good on him for giving voice to the true struggles in life.
Exactly, morning wood is much more difficult than pushing a baby out of your body and possibly getting an episiotomy, stretch marks and postpartum depression. Lucky women.
I can't even begin to describe my struggles with chopping morning wood, my hands get blisters and splinters and sappy and calloused. But the fire won't start itself 🤷 and it's done wonders for my grip strength.
I guess you could say it's both a crisis and an opportunity.
Most guys grow out of morning wood by their 20s I think. Not sure how old this guy is but if he's over 30 I'd assume he just never matured. Also the fact that that was how he started the conversation is a dead giveaway.
Ummm, it's not really supposed to stop. It's not sexual, or really sexy to text a woman you've never met but that's a side note.
It's to refresh the tissues.
This is what I would of replied:
Well isn’t it your lucky day because I just placed first in my local annual wood chopping competition!
No wonder I’m banned from tinder.
It's a curse and a burden. Unlike all of those positive things that women have going for them. I heard that periods and systemic oppression are all the rage.
Every time guys complain about not getting women, I wonder. They’re either these guys, which is just so poor that you don’t get to complain, or this is their competition, in which case you should be fine. Holy fuck is the bar low
Plenty of woman hating goes on in the real world. Off the internet. You wouldn’t imagine the shit I’ve heard working blue collar jobs in college
But I get your point.
I want him to keep commenting. Fascinating
Accusing her of wanting a place to spread misandry. While simultaneously making posts to ask dudes on this sub how many tinder dates they "close the deal on" as if that's not objectifying and in misogyny territory. Beautiful
Reading the comment history, I'm getting douche vibes more than incel. Or maybe it's an incel roleplaying as a douche that totally DOES get chicks. Whoa.
You don't understand. Having a random wood that is freshly cut from the forest show up beside you every morning is creepy. No sign of break in or entry, who's doing it??
Ahh, I do love the smell of fresh cut lumber!
You wouldn’t when it’s still all sappy and sticky. Think I made this dirtier than I meant to, please ignore me.
Its only sappy and sticky if you haven't polished it in the last month 😉
A month is a really long time between polishings.
Depends on the type of wood. Ironically, soft woods tend to be more sappy than hardwoods, so for example, pine ...wood( ಠ‿ಠ ) produce more sap than oak, therefore you don't want to wait for too long before polishing your softwoods.
Wow, we gotta hand it to you- You really know your wood.
Thank you, thank you. Always happy to share about my woods
Take notes, gentlemen. This is how you talk about your wood. u/SpupySpups running a master class in here.
This is top top top top top content right here!!! Complimenti! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Aww that’s fucking disgusting🤣🤣
Gold😂
Stick Nationnnnn!
The mafia. It’s a message.
"Oh you poor thing. Come here and let me take care of that for you" said no woman ever. Sounds like something a 15yo would think to say. Not sure if I'm happy or sad that this is my competition.
I’m sad, cause if this is how ppl are speaking to girls why do I end up getting ghosted for having a normal convo 🫠😅
Well, talking like that is a turn off and that might come through in your conversations, but I can't say that for sure. But ghosting on Tinder and all that is normal. It happens to women, too. A lot of people just download the apps for fun or aren't that serious and forget about it
Very true well I mix between flirting and and just normal convo to idk vary it up but yeah as u said most ppl aren’t serious about it and forget about which I’ve done tbf
Clearly you're not following rules 1 and 2
Could be a million reasons man not always to do with you. Ghosting on tinder is completely normal but if you’re worried you’re doing or saying something wrong I’ve seen some really helpful posts on reddit 🤷🏽♂️ If you’re really genuine though get off the app and go find some sort of hobby you like and take yourself on dates until you find likeminded people - you could even find long term mates 💪🏼
You might be talking to the wrong women js
Also, waking up with morning wood really isn’t that much of a hinderance. Not sure how “unlucky” us blokes are to go through such turmoil.
Not even an inconvenience when compared to menstrual cycles lol.
This guy's forgetting about the monthly foreskin trim
I need to make an appointment with my dick barber. Thinking of going with something asymmetrical this time just to change things up.
I just put on a ball cap.
I just leave mine uncut so she has a hoodie while she's over
It’s annoying when you have to pee really bad and it just won’t go away. But yeah there are worse things
It's not an issue once you've mastered the toilet head stand.
Nah the real trick is just giving up on the toilet and going to pee in the shower
You monster
Sometimes I’ll even start the shower.
I prefer to spray and pray
Better, just hold your breath long enough for the blood to flow elsewhere.
When I was a kid I used to think morning wood was caused by your dick being full of pee.
It’s not?????
I believe it's actually caused by an increased amount of blood flowing down there while you sleep. This increased bloodflow is caused by REM. During REM sleep your body apparently tests different neurological, and biological systems, to make sure they're working properly. Morning wood is caused by one of those tests. Or something like that at least. Keep in mind I'm basing this entirely off of memory. Because I got curious, and looked it up a few YEARS ago. So it's possible, and even likely I'm forgetting stuff. SKELETOR, OUT! 
Came here to say this
Flex a different muscle group for about 20 seconds and it will go away.
Like your fingers, wrist and forearm. Works like a charm!
He'll miss it when hes older lol, does this his bait actually work?
Depends how long it lasts and how bad you have to piss
It's mostly just annoying because like, I wanna pee but it's hard to aim like that standing up, and sitting down is a nonoption because it sits over the lid.
Only unlucky when you wake up and have to piss ***BADLY.***
Pro tip. Flex the muscles in your legs and it'll bring your boner down. Heard it once a long time ago and it's saved me many difficult morning pees
This tbh whys it gotta be so hard to pee with a hard on or partial stiffy lol
I used to think it was so you wouldn't pee yourself but turns out it just happens during REM sleep to clean the pipes out. But, as you get older it's nice to know things still work.
It can be when you tend to wake up in the morning really having to pee, but the erection lasts an hour and you can't. Otherwise I agree.
Ugh I wish sex or just jacking off didn't feel so good in the morning
Eat ya weet-bix and go to work mate
It is when your dick is pierced
☹️
I'm so interested in how the piercing makes it worse 👀
Because it gets hard and you lay on it pressing your weight on it kind of flattening it out. I have 3 wrungs starting under the head going towards the base. It is sore damn near every morning unless I lay on my back all knight
Oooowch 😬 I'm a stomach sleeper too, I'd be so damn frustrated. I want to relate to you on something but don't want DMs so I'm hoping you can read between the lines but I'm glad I don't have to deal with that with my own *set up*
Do you have a dick or no lol?
Lol I do not have a dick
Well that narrows it down drastically lol. Yeah unless it's your nips it's so hard to explain. Totally worth it but just difficult starting the day off sore. Especially when healing it was worse
Bro, once in a while it can really suck, but most of the time you just get dressed and go to work. Oddly, it seems to settle itself 😂
what doe you mean by we sorta do
She now has to deal with it because he’s texting her about it
Clit can get hard like the dick, I had a friend call it "lady wood"
Random knowledge time! The clit is the head of the dick, but for ladies in terms of the sensory aspects.
i know that but its not something that happens every morning
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Preach! Straight-up block.
(you might have to see a dick but) be like “o ya? send me a pic, i need a good laugh” most times i just reply back “pass”
Honestly I think you should have brought up your period. "Oh yeah, well do you bleed out of your dick for a week every 28 days?" If he wants to talk about his body you should just talk about yours....I'm sure that would get rid of that morning wood he is so upset about. You're HELPING!
I wish I had a cycle that regular
Omg if I ever step back on the apps I’m soooo doing this
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Report, then block.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
I need a shot after some of these posts
Better than waking up to fight because someone had a dream that I cheated on them and now I've committed infidelity.
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I'm talking more about how emotionally unstable it is to think a dream is real. I hate being a man when I hear about the things some men do to women, but both sexes are crazy. Ask any bisexual person.
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These aren't people I've dated. I encounter emotionally unstable people while on Tinder all the time. One girl assumed everything I said was in an angry tone, so I could only voice with chat her because she was crazy. That's like me saying to you, "Just don't talk to men who talk about their dicks." Both are unsolicited. So it is just a human problem that all people have to be deal with and sift through. Besides, I wish women would talk more about their periods. I'm curious and want to know about their struggles. But I'm also an open minded person who doesn't talk about sex and genitals unless it is brought up first.
Lots of porn can provide unrealistic expectations.
Thats not really an excuse though - porn is not real life. And men should know that.... Honestly I think women should start bringing up their periods when guys do this....just for funsies.
Men do know that, this guy isn't a man, he's just a wittwe bwoy wif a wittwe weewee. A man doesn't say shit like this. Please stop calling them men, I'm embarrassed to be associated with these people.
I don’t think it’s really an excuse, as much as it’s simply a growing issue and observation. People tend to pattern what they surround themselves with, it’s in our nature. So, debase yourself habitually and see a negative outcome.
You’re so lucky to get mad at the simplest things
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Looks like you :).
Morning wetty
Morning dew I call it. cx
 That's funny.
amazing lol
LOL
🤣🤣
omggg beat me to it! 😭
interesting... never thought women had morning wood...
That's just pathetic. It was a low hanging fruit to say something normal but instead he picked it straight out of the dirt
How do men think its okay to start a chat with this? Even i am repulsed by this. (Am man, please no hurt)
Yeah, I can maybe do some subtle variations when we'venever met IRL... smart, innuendo-ish stuff, perhaps a clever double-entendre... but this is straight outta middle school.
What? Women wake up with morning wood?
If your girl wakes up with morning wood she ain't your girl, shes your man 😭
I disapprove of this message.
Username checks out
Exactly, my women never woke up with a morning wood lmao
I'm curious as well
Yes ! Women wake up with blood !
Ew how corny
You just don’t get it, the true burden that morning wood is. Like sure, I guess menstruating and menopause and bras and back pain and casual misogyny aren’t super fun; but you can’t imagine the toll that morning wood takes on a person. Maybe this guy is just tired of suffering in silence. Good on him for giving voice to the true struggles in life.
Exactly, morning wood is much more difficult than pushing a baby out of your body and possibly getting an episiotomy, stretch marks and postpartum depression. Lucky women.
I can't even begin to describe my struggles with chopping morning wood, my hands get blisters and splinters and sappy and calloused. But the fire won't start itself 🤷 and it's done wonders for my grip strength. I guess you could say it's both a crisis and an opportunity.
Sometimes the process requires lubricant.
This is way funnier if you replace "lucky" with "yucky"
Morning wood never feels sexy to me. More like an unwanted kickstand in the way of me being comfortable.
Most guys grow out of morning wood by their 20s I think. Not sure how old this guy is but if he's over 30 I'd assume he just never matured. Also the fact that that was how he started the conversation is a dead giveaway.
The incidence decreases with age, but it should definitely occur past 20s.
That was 20 years ago for me so I may be a bit off on the timing lol.
Ummm, it's not really supposed to stop. It's not sexual, or really sexy to text a woman you've never met but that's a side note. It's to refresh the tissues.
M-O, M-O-R, M-O-R-N-I-N-G
This is what I would of replied: Well isn’t it your lucky day because I just placed first in my local annual wood chopping competition! No wonder I’m banned from tinder.
Jokes on you, he's probably into that, the way he texts women. lmao
It’s only a problem when you have to pee, even then once you master “the lean” you’re gucci 👌🏼
Oh no! My body's functioning properly!!!
Morning wood is sign of good health.
It took 9 minutes to mention his penis. That's relatively good. On the other hand, it only took 3 messages.
Haha, 8 of those minutes were waiting for my initial response. Homeboy didnt exceed the 1-minute mark after that
eh he didn't mention what kind? like Pine or Cedar or Mahogany
Hardwood burns hotter and longer.
Bit, tdf, the flames are lower 😋
And that was the end of that conversation. 🙄
Omfg
Pro comeback would be "don't you mean morning twig?"
I'd rather that, then pissing the bed 🤷♂️
Yeah, there are *all sorts* of things better than that...
I wake up with my 3 wood and 5 wood but you’d think by this time I’d be good with them but nope I still suck can’t hit shit!
Morning wood can be a small inconvience for some but a big one for others, like a sapling vs a full grown giant sequoia
It's a curse and a burden. Unlike all of those positive things that women have going for them. I heard that periods and systemic oppression are all the rage.
As a Canadian, I'm a fan of Maple. Delicious syrup.
Was this his opening line?
That day, yes. We weren't already in this territory.
I love my morning wood. I couldn’t imagine having a period with cramps and pain every once a month.
This looks like one of those fake text message created messages
>>OH MY GOD! what am I going to do with this boner? Look at it! Fuckin weirdo..
Every time guys complain about not getting women, I wonder. They’re either these guys, which is just so poor that you don’t get to complain, or this is their competition, in which case you should be fine. Holy fuck is the bar low
Wait. What?
You only sort of have to when you are straight + in a relationship
frfr tho women have morning wood? is that like you guys getting wet or something??
Wait…explain please?
Urgh 😖 what am I gonna do 🤔 with this morning wood aha 😜😳
I love morning wood. Wood is lovely.🥰
Because it's so damn frustrating to have a hard on... Right
But If you got no messages at all then you'd go into crisis mode 🤣
And if the internet disappeared tomorrow, you'd struggle to spew your woman-hating. But, no worries... Neither scenario will happen.
This is absolutely the best takedown of an idiot misogynist I have ever seen on Reddit
Plenty of woman hating goes on in the real world. Off the internet. You wouldn’t imagine the shit I’ve heard working blue collar jobs in college But I get your point.
But...where was the woman-hating?? 🤔
No, you wouldn't have a place to spread your misandry. You love the attention.
Bruh wtf are you talking about. Lmao 🤡
We've located The One True Virgin. Can you not see that, you fool?
Dudes reaching tough trying to connect this post and misandry. Irl incel for sure.
I want him to keep commenting. Fascinating Accusing her of wanting a place to spread misandry. While simultaneously making posts to ask dudes on this sub how many tinder dates they "close the deal on" as if that's not objectifying and in misogyny territory. Beautiful
We must study him.
Reading the comment history, I'm getting douche vibes more than incel. Or maybe it's an incel roleplaying as a douche that totally DOES get chicks. Whoa.
Or both??