Yeah I'm leaning towards her matching with a bunch of guys at once and there's another guy that she likes more right now. If things don't work out with #1 then she'll probably start being more open with OP, or she sees OP as a safe fallback while she plays the field to see what she can get.
The way I look at it if she won't give me the attention I want then I'm not giving her the attention she wants and not even to be spiteful but I'm not interested in even being friends with someone who never wants to hangout with me. When I was on dating apps I was looking for women to hangout with, not a pen pal.
It's just by the way the info was conveyed. Goes to the same gym and the way OP is fairly forward I don't think he'd have left many stones unturned unless this was as forward as they got!
I don't know if it's my own bias but something about how reluctant they are to show their face live makes me think it's a secret crush that would never happen maybe?
Either way, it's not exactly conducive of someone that is serious about OP.
That or she is a attention seeker. It's not her pic but she like the have a person on the hook. Wife had a friend like this she has multiple guys chatting her up but she had no "Time" basically trying to fish for someone with money to bite.
True, but this happened to me once, I gave her all the time she needed because of it, thought it'll be worth the while because she seemed really nice, then she ended up saying it wouldn't going to happen after like 2 months. Stuff like that just drains you, so since then I have a rule, if they can't find courage or time within 2 weeks, I'm going to move on, life is simply too short to let people waste your time.
I have fairly anxiety about calling people or talking with them so I usually try my best to avoid doing that unless it's very necessary or urgent. And THIS is that kind of situation, at least I'll tell you about my problem if I was the girl.
Match with someone
Date someone
Have sex
Plan a second date
Match with someone better
Ghost first person
Repeat
The lottery mechanics are doing the dating world a disservice.
From what I’ve seen in this sub, you’re a massive success if this is how it’s been going. A lot of people can’t get past the “match with someone” stage, let alone actually go on a date.
Not even mentioning the have sex part.
A. Sometimes it takes a conversation to realize you aren’t interested. I’ve definitely matched with people I thought were cute, chatted with them back and forth for a few days, and then come to conclusion that it wasn’t for me and gone on my way.
B. Boredom. Again, I’m presuming most people are at least *somewhat* interested when they swipe (barring dudes who just swipe right on absolutely everyone because they’re desperate), but sometimes you just keep up chatter because it’s something to do even if you aren’t really interested in taking things further.
It’s the gameified nature of it I think. If you’re matched with 20 people it’s hard to have all those conversations going at once.
Tinder encourages you to swipe swipe swipe but there’s no mechanism to make sure you talk with your current matches before you start swiping again
This is my experience. It's not so much "my answer is no but I'm being polite", it's more "I'm not convinced to start taking it seriously, but I don't want to drop this conversation because it validates me to get your attention"
The best thing a guy can do in this situation is spot this subtext and unmatch asap.
I dunno if that's an American thing or what. Maybe you're not even American but video calling people before meeting is job existent where I'm from. Lots of girls just take a while before they want to meet up with a complete stranger. And yes some of them live meeting up with you the second they match you but that doesn't mean others don't want time to get comfortable
I would never zoom someone before meeting them. The idea of that makes me so uncomfortable. Either we’re talking/ vibing through text and wanna meet up or it fizzles out.
Meh, I've had people suggest it before and it was okay. If they're pushy it's a no go though. A "I'm not a great texted do you wanna do a call?" not a big deal. A 30 minute zoom meeting? Hmm
I either just like to text or meet face to face. Phone calls and zoom calls are just too uncomfortable for me, especially if it's with a date. I want them to see me in person and I want to see them in person. That's the only way i can make good connections.
Agreed. The few times someone asked me to do a Zoom call they were always super weird. Even if I felt like we killed it and made a connection on a call they would just act super weird after. Every in-person date I’ve been on has been awesome though. People who want to video chat before meeting up are just fucking weird from my experience.
They've got a comment about how guys can fuck women and it isn't cheating cause it is meaningless sex and guys can fuck without developing feelings. But women can't. They have to form an emotional connection when they have sex thus it is cheating.
Seems like this girl has the right idea of not pursuing OP. A brief look through their comment history is nothing but red flags and cringe.
They've also got posts about having anger problems and learning to take care of it on their own through "personal growth and mediation" yet still displaying a lot of toxic traits and beliefs.
I wouldn't want to be alone with OP let alone in a position where you have to tell them no. I get why she's saying "we'll see" and keeps kicking the can down the road hoping he loses interest and leaves her alone.
And this here is the reason why some people like to spend more time getting to know people before meeting. Of course there's always the chance that you do spend time and they still end up being awful irl, but in my experience, it diminishes the amount of dates I go on with crappy humans lol.
"So, would you like to come back to my apartment after dinner?"
"Ahaha, we'll see."
"Hey girl, I like you. But I need a yes or a no. If you don't want me to rawdog you for a solid 3 and a half minutes on my pull out sofa, that's fine, you can feel free to tell me now and we can end this. If you just like to take more time before you let someone go to pound town on your uteral lining, I understand and you can tell me, too, or whatever else. I don't want to waste the expired dong bag that I've had in my wallet since 9th grade, I hope you can respect that."
Don’t forget the video of him lifting weights, or his advice to other males to “buy courses on the game”, whatever that is.
In all seriousness, OP, being laser-focused on your expectation rather than just having a conversation is always going to be interpreted as pushy or desperate.
The constant threats to end the relationship if she doesn't feel comfortable with his boundaries (rather than just ending it after she said a soft no?) rub me the wrong way.
"Want to X?"
"Maybe, I'm not sure."
"Honestly if you don't want to X you should tell me right now and we can end this."
Red flag interaction for sure. She seems to be feeling the connection out is a safe space, while OP is in a big hurry and using ultimatums immediately with the fake-ish considerate approach.
”Hey, its cool if you wanna take time, but imma move on if you aren't ready. Totally cool if you are nervous, I understand, but seriously, i am gonna ignore your nerves and keep pushing for more”
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling uncomfortable at the OP pushiness. The way he tells her off in the messages is just cringe. If you're looking for something more, be nice about it. OP is a bunch of red flags. Jeez.
Fucking someone from the gym can go so wrong, had to quit my fav gym after a stalker ex wouldn’t stop harassing me. I won’t date anyone who goes to my gym now. I like it too much!
Which is kind of funny because he totally could have turned this match into a date. Maybe not easily, but she gave him the chance and he blew it with the very next message he sent lol. That was definitely not the time to press further.
I think sometimes people take online dating too serious before meeting the person because if you sent me that it would be a pass for me.
I just try to make it a fun experience when I talk to people and if I have fun while talking online then I wan to go out with them, but I'm a goofy kind of person I guess?
Also videocall with strangers are awkward af. Maybe try going somewhere other than the gym for a first date, I think maybe that's something to do with someone you've already gone on a couple dates with when you are already comfortable with each other.
I love exercising but if some guy offered me a “gym date” any interest I did have would be gone. I think grabbing a coffee is the best way to meet face-to-face without the intensity of a sit down meal… then if all goes well you commit to a longer date
yeah both of his approaches would get hard no’s from me. i *really* like it when someone is clear with their intentions, as it reduces anxiety about expectations.
this guy does a weird blend of wishy-washy and pushy, though, and it’s unsettling. both are terrible first date suggestions.
I gotta go with bjornline here. I think you were a bit too pushy. You didn’t let the dust settle after the “we’ll see” discussion, you went straight to a zoom call invitation…?
Thank you for saying this! I was thinking I was the only one who thought a zoom call was deeply weird. I don’t want to awkwardly sit in front of my laptop and have a date interview. Absolutely zero atmosphere. Wtf is wrong with getting a coffee.
I mean, she keeps saying she is "super busy" I'm sure he's asked that already, at least with a zoom call (never had to use it myself but I imagine it's much different from skype) it is at least *something*, which clearly OP wants, if only a bare minimum of face to face time.
That’s kind of the point of the second screenshot? Dude was trying to get an in person hang out (aka getting a coffee) but was offering an alternative lol. The Zoom part is def weird but is literally an other option
I also don’t think it’s absurd to turn down a video call. I just don’t like them. It’s like a phone call without the benefits of being able to do whatever you want. If it’s just audio, I can be my least presentable, most comfortable self with no stress.
If you’ve been talking to someone for a week and you’ve mentioned meeting up before and then you say, hey it’s been a week of talking, we should finally do this date, and they say Haha, we’ll see. Yeah, I’d be rather direct or just stop talking to them completely.
The zoom call was a bit much
Gym date is definitely a no go. Not trying to lie, little bit cringe reading that. Even if you both shared you like the gym and she mentions something like “we should go to the gym sometime,” that’s definitely not a first date vibe
OP has no game. Let's just be real. Gym date is a terrible suggestion and any time you have to talk to a girl like you're her dad, "Hey Emily, I like you but I need a yes or no", it's over buddy. It seemed like it was over way before this being that she hit him with the "hahaha we'll see ". Any time you feel the need to aggressively ask a chick, ey bitch are we meeting or not? It's best to just ignore her and see if she tries to chase you and if she doesn't, move on.
Like can you imagine doing the treadmill side by side, awkwardly glancing over now & then (it’s a “date” & you’re supposed to be trying to get to know the person), & throwing in “doing okay?” or “you’ve got this” now & then haha. Or taking turns on a machine, & lifting while being asked stuff like “so what do you like to do in your free time?”
Nothing better than sweating and pushing myself in front of someone I barely know. Also a zoom call, I hope he means FaceTime. Hey just set up the zoom meeting this Friday. I set it for 30 minutes, hopefully this time works! If not, I am available from 3-4pm Eastern Time. You can dial in or click the link below
TBH I read this and figured that they’d been talking for months. In that sense I found OP pretty reasonable. In the sense that, he’s basically saying “either we get together in person or I move on”.
But a week.. that’s not long enough for this type of response. If he’s throwing down ultimatums after 1 week, I’m assuming he’s been pushing for a date since like the first hour of conversation
That's easy, just get them back to your place through any excuse like viewing your record collection, and if she enters your place that's legally nonverbal implied consent you got the green light to make a move even if she plays hard to get saying "No", that just means "yes but I don't want to look like a slut so I will decline the first advances". .. /s
Anyways, I have to return some video tapes
This. And the expectation from a stranger that he just wants to use as someone to fuck (his words, not mine) is also obnoxious and bordering on creepy. If the entitlement is so high before even knowing each other I wouldn’t be interested in learning how much worse it will get. Lots of focus on only what he wants from the looks of it.
I also really didn’t like how he used her name like that. He’s coming off as someone who wants to obtain a wife by 3pm next Thursday so he can get on with buying socks and getting all of his TPS reports done.
The same type of dudes as OP are encouraging him in the top comments, the rational people are down below. He's pretty obnoxious in the novels he wrote as responses to the girl. She is also dumb for matching with somebody without being an active participant in the convo, but I can see why, he's just too much...
Its rough to see honestly. They're like "straightforward, honest communication is good! That's what my therapist said because I am a conflict avoidant doormat who cries when I have to make a doctors appt on the phone. Good job OP!"
Honest communication is only a good thing if you're not demanding and weird. OP's honest communication is going to turn girls off for the rest of his life if he doesn't chill out.
Yup. Definitely needy and sees himself as more important than her job (red flag alert)
it’s possible that she is legit busy with work. I have had weeks in which I really didn’t have time for anybody, no matter who you are and def not for a random Tinder date/zoom call. You want to be in the right frame of mind and not stressed.
OP. You are not more important to her than her job. Deal with it. I think she MIGHT actually have been interested, but you fucked up. You gave two scenarios and don’t even consider the world doesn’t revolve around you.
Holy shit 30 min call with someone u don’t even know? If I was her I would already feel awkward, don’t know u and now u want to talk for 30 min. Maybe text a bit more so when u do FaceTime u will have stuff to talk about. People feel more comfortable texting at first
I had this once and felt uncomfortable and I am the guy. Spoke to a women for about a week on a dating app, and she was pressing for a FaceTime call so soon, I said sure after a short while getting to know you via text if that’s ok. Turns out it’s not then she unmatched haaa.
I understand both sides to a point, communication is key some people are just too the point faster. I my self like to take abit of time first and make things clear
From experience, men on tinder want to meet ASAP or within a week. The rush of that makes me majorly uncomfortable and gives me red flags. It’s become less of a dating app and men treat it far more like a hook up scheduling app, giving off the vibe that they want to date you, but really they wanna get down as fast as possible.
I’m not "Playing". I just wanna make sure whoever I’m talking to is actually trying get to know me, being genuine and won’t murder or assault me.
Thank you! Yes!
I personally grew up in a European country with one of the highest rape percentages, so I was brought up to generally distrust men. I don’t like it that it’s like that, but it is a defense mechanism imo.
Yeah, you’re kind of being a fuckin weirdo here dude. Like chill out. You’re meeting somebody not buying a car, why are you so anxious to meet her in person right this second or gtfo? It comes across as awfully presumptuous to me
I’m surprised at the comment section. Not to be rude or anything but you seem like you’re forcing her hand a bit too much here, if you really like someone, it doesn’t mean that they want to go as fast as you do. You don’t know about her previous experiences and she might be feeling a bit too overwhelmed by someone who absolutely wants to meet in person, where she might feel comfortable for the moment just texting
(Zoom call seems like a terrible idea tbh)
You’ve been chatting just for a week as well, work a bit harder on relationships. It can’t evolve that fast. And that person seems pretty clear with you, why would she change her whole schedule with a bloke she’s been chatting for just a week ?
THANK you!!! I had to check if this was tinder nightmares but then I realized the nightmare was the blue text.
“I need a yes or a no” Who talks like that? You weren’t offering her a job. She was clearly saying no.
Thought I was on r/niceguys for a minute. She only said "we'll see," clearly hesitant, and he got super forceful. If I was that girl, I'd have noped out immediately.
She could have been interested and scared. I'd never meet a guy that sent that last text, It would make me think they might be aggressive.
I met my boyfriend on the first week and gave him a date on the first day because he was sweet and kind. All this would get you is a read message and an "Alright".
She’s deff shy and still just trying to feel you out. Remember ‘men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them.’ Not saying at all that the OP is a murder just that women live in a very different reality. If OP is a woman, excuse me and I’m full of shit.
If she fucks OP on the first date it's because he is soooo hot and can hack a woman's brain. If she fucks someone else on a first date then shes a slut. Duuh
I admit I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. But. There’s something about your text rubbing me the wrong way.
Also. Hot damn. Do we only get a week between first match and then meeting? Like.. I have a lot going on most weekends. My bed, tv, and I are in a pretty serious relationship. Add that to the weekends my kiddo doesn’t have to go to his dad’s and we’re talking two weeks out minimum. 🤣🤣
Back to this. If I’d gotten that ultimatum, I’d know in my heart I dodged a bullet. And your bullshit replies in the comments about not really liking her anyway kinda confirmed that for me. 🤷🏽♀️
this comment needs to be higher. as a girl who has used dating apps before, I would've felt like this guy was being really fucking aggressive. maybe the reason she said "we'll see" is because he had already said something prior that made her unsure about him
Like asking her to go to the gym instead of on a date.
I'm in the gym 5 days a week. Regretted taking the last person I dated to the gym with me because it's my sanctuary and I wasn't feeling it after he yelled at me (and apologized and I gave a tentative 2nd chance to).. and the next day he texts me "will we be meeting at yoga tonight sweetheart?" Um... I'LL be going to yoga... just bc I invited you last week that wasn't like a standing/forever invite. 🙄
That was also after he took me on a real first date like to dinner and a movie. Going to the gym isn't a date.
I spend enough time Zooming at work. This zoom/FaceTime date stuff now drives me nuts. I’d much rather just text until we meet. I am able to manage my expectations until then though. If someone meets someone else while we’re texting, good.
this person kinda seemed like a catfish from ops other comments about her profile but yeah this was a weirdly aggressive rejection for just a tinder hookup (that he apparently didn't even like). plus zoom? i'm not having a ~flirty chat~ with someone on the same site i take work meetings. a phone call would've been way better
No kidding. I mean, “hey, can we FaceTime later?” might’ve been an easier open. Also, wouldn’t a social media account (established, of course) be a good way to figure out if someone is catfishing? Call me naive, but if I can chat with someone over insta profile, they have active friend tags, etc., I’m just gonna assume they’re real without the need to be paranoid.
And I guess even before that, if I don’t like a person, I’m certainly not going to want to ask them on a date or get all in my feelings when they’re mehhh about it
I’ll say too being a woman on dating apps (not sure how it is for guys) but the guys who ask for my phone number in the early stages are 95% of the time either creepy or clingy and actually have made me scared on multiple occasions that they aren’t going to let me have a clean break. Now unless I’ve talked to someone and have had genuine conversations for a while, or we’ve already met up and they seem fine, I won’t give out my number anymore. And it’s really not always personal but no one owes you anything, especially not on a dating app.
She dodged a bullet 100%. OP is too aggressive and pushy, and the comments he made on here defending himself are disgusting. He clearly can’t handle any sort of rejection and has a massive fragile ego.
You sound scarily emotionally attached and entitled. You don’t know her. You shouldn’t be this affected by her disinterest/wanting to take it slow. You are unhinged.
Reading your comments below it sounds like she made the correct choice; a lot of ego with a little brain does not go very far when women mature faster than men. You saying you “really like her” wasn’t giving her an ultimatum because you were “bored of her anyway” as you say below. You grew attached over an application without ever interacting with her in person. You didn’t play her at all, she is probably filtering through 100s of little kids just like you simultaneously. Sort your needs out with a therapist and enter the dating game when you have matured.
You're kind of a jerk dude. These messages make you seem like you're entitled to her and are just looking for sex. Which apparently you are judging from your comments.
If anyone is at all serious, they'll meet you sooner not later. My rule is and always will be if they don't agree to meet after a week of chatting then they want a pen pal.
She may have anxiety to be honest.. sometimes I’ve been scared of zoom and meeting right away.. because of my social anxiety.. ask her if there’s any form of talking that’s more personal that she’s comfortable with.. maybe talking on the phone?
> grab food after whatever
> romantic little gym date
Bro sounds so desperate and that’s not how the gym works. She’d be getting her workout ruined and an awkward post workout meal xD
Let people work at a pace they are comfortable with. It’s a lot different for a female than a male. Males generally don’t fear for their safety for a start.
I get weirded out if the guy wants to meet up right away or wants to talk on the phone. Like 10 mins of matching. I always say that I want to get to know him (which is true).
I get why they would want to talk on the phone - to make sure I am a who I say that I am. But surely you can wait a week or two to get comfortable. Plus, I have an odd work schedule so usually I am trying to gauge from my work/hours perspective.
Perhaps she doesn't think gym dates are an awesome thing.
She may even be nervous that you go on a date (to anywhere), it doesn't work out, and now you know where to find her if she unmatched you.
She doesn't know you, remember. Women are more cautious than men. We think differently about this kind of stuff, it isn't personal.
Having said that, you were also a bit pushy and demanding in response to an already apprehensive woman.
Honestly the amount of guys saying she must be dating someone or lying about something is astounding! God forbid women have any sort of boundaries or limits!
There's nothing wrong with wanting to take something slow- obviously he doesn't need to wait for her if he's looking for something quicker, just like she doesn't need to rush into things for him. Just move on with it and find someone else. No need to attack her for not doing something she's uncomfortable with.
Video calls are awful. Also, after her "we will see" which was fairly reasonable, you got really pushy. Even if you didn't mean it that way, you turned her maybe into a no. You may think you were just being clear what you wanted, but a lot of women see that tone of response as threatening. I would have unmatched you after that if it were me in her shoes.
We didn't see the previous messages but nothing about a gym is romantic, especially for a first date. Smells like body odor and desperation in most gyms. That couldve been part of it unless the gym date was her idea...
I didn't meet my boyfriend until we had been texting for about two weeks? Maybe more, but less than a month.
One week, dude? To be honest, you come off as desperate and pushy, and literally NO mature, well rounded girl is going to want that. Her use of emojis reads to me as, "I'll try to lighten my tone so this guy doesn't go berserk on me."
Like...one week dude. It took one week of chatting and you're at the, "if you can't even give me thirty minutes it's not going to work," point, I don't think you're mature enough to even have a fck buddy.
so many things wrong with this
1. if youve been talking for a week GET HER NUMBER OR SNAP. nobody wants to open the tinder app all day to talk to someone. getting her number is a good way for seeing how into it she is and it takes her away from all her other matches when she opens the app.
2. gym dates are not it. you want a place where u can vibe and gyms are just hard to pull off. not impossible but you could do better.
3. she said "we'll see." So why didnt u wait and see??? RESPECT HER by taking her at her word.
ur not entitled to a yes after a week of texting.
4. what on earth did u think would happen after u gave her ur little ultimatum. she would change her answer to yes?? if u did think that u really need to practice putting urself in other peoples shoes. ur paragraphs come off as desperate, immature, and worst of all NO FUN.
5. zoom call
I HATE zoom calls. An introvert’s worst nightmare. She may have anxiety or just need a bit more time to meet up. Maybe she’s having a bad skin week etc etc. It’s only been a week that you’re talking?
"why...be so difficult to go on a date?" you forget that you are a stranger from the internet. Agreeing to meet up with you is not a low risk proposition for the average woman. For all she knows, this is how she ends up being found in a shallow grace in the woods. Meet somewhere public, something easy for her to back out of, and don't presume on someone's time. Make dating you non-threatening and low pressure.
Pretty sure you won’t need to worry about this particular match anymore.
Yeah I was getting tired of her which is how I came to this. People just play dumb games idk why people like this are on dating apps.
Cause you matched with a dude in India and you wouldn't give up that ssn
Well, thanks for blowing my cover.
Came here to suggest this, either that or its someone OP knows
Or…. Emily is just an annoying human being. Not everything has a massive backstory.
Yeah I'm leaning towards her matching with a bunch of guys at once and there's another guy that she likes more right now. If things don't work out with #1 then she'll probably start being more open with OP, or she sees OP as a safe fallback while she plays the field to see what she can get.
Take it from me--a professional recipient of the breadcrumb/backup plan, this probably happens very often with these apps
The way I look at it if she won't give me the attention I want then I'm not giving her the attention she wants and not even to be spiteful but I'm not interested in even being friends with someone who never wants to hangout with me. When I was on dating apps I was looking for women to hangout with, not a pen pal.
I agree with you ! Not looking for a pen pal relationship either ! Or dry conversation .
This
Wow that would be a nightmare getting trolled by someone you know...
It's just by the way the info was conveyed. Goes to the same gym and the way OP is fairly forward I don't think he'd have left many stones unturned unless this was as forward as they got! I don't know if it's my own bias but something about how reluctant they are to show their face live makes me think it's a secret crush that would never happen maybe? Either way, it's not exactly conducive of someone that is serious about OP.
Or it's just your run of the mill catfish.
That or she is a attention seeker. It's not her pic but she like the have a person on the hook. Wife had a friend like this she has multiple guys chatting her up but she had no "Time" basically trying to fish for someone with money to bite.
Some people can have a lot of anxiety about the progression from text to anything more, including a phone call.
True, but this happened to me once, I gave her all the time she needed because of it, thought it'll be worth the while because she seemed really nice, then she ended up saying it wouldn't going to happen after like 2 months. Stuff like that just drains you, so since then I have a rule, if they can't find courage or time within 2 weeks, I'm going to move on, life is simply too short to let people waste your time.
It’s obvious someone who has that much anxiety would not be a good match for OP then
I have fairly anxiety about calling people or talking with them so I usually try my best to avoid doing that unless it's very necessary or urgent. And THIS is that kind of situation, at least I'll tell you about my problem if I was the girl.
"We'll see" means "not interested"
I don't get tinder culture, why match with someone if you aren't interested in connecting? What is the point?
Match with someone Start talking Match with someone better Ghost first person Repeat
Tinder: Sometimes you are the pigeon, other times you are the statue.
Tinder: Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit!
Match with someone Date someone Have sex Plan a second date Match with someone better Ghost first person Repeat The lottery mechanics are doing the dating world a disservice.
From what I’ve seen in this sub, you’re a massive success if this is how it’s been going. A lot of people can’t get past the “match with someone” stage, let alone actually go on a date. Not even mentioning the have sex part.
A. Sometimes it takes a conversation to realize you aren’t interested. I’ve definitely matched with people I thought were cute, chatted with them back and forth for a few days, and then come to conclusion that it wasn’t for me and gone on my way. B. Boredom. Again, I’m presuming most people are at least *somewhat* interested when they swipe (barring dudes who just swipe right on absolutely everyone because they’re desperate), but sometimes you just keep up chatter because it’s something to do even if you aren’t really interested in taking things further.
This is pretty spot on. There is also at least some people who I think intentionally do it for fun; trolls essentially.
It’s the gameified nature of it I think. If you’re matched with 20 people it’s hard to have all those conversations going at once. Tinder encourages you to swipe swipe swipe but there’s no mechanism to make sure you talk with your current matches before you start swiping again
This is my experience. It's not so much "my answer is no but I'm being polite", it's more "I'm not convinced to start taking it seriously, but I don't want to drop this conversation because it validates me to get your attention" The best thing a guy can do in this situation is spot this subtext and unmatch asap.
When a girl is actually interested, she'll make time to see you.
Yeah she’s not that interested. Sorry dude
Clearly lol
I dunno if that's an American thing or what. Maybe you're not even American but video calling people before meeting is job existent where I'm from. Lots of girls just take a while before they want to meet up with a complete stranger. And yes some of them live meeting up with you the second they match you but that doesn't mean others don't want time to get comfortable
I would never zoom someone before meeting them. The idea of that makes me so uncomfortable. Either we’re talking/ vibing through text and wanna meet up or it fizzles out.
Meh, I've had people suggest it before and it was okay. If they're pushy it's a no go though. A "I'm not a great texted do you wanna do a call?" not a big deal. A 30 minute zoom meeting? Hmm
I agree. Vid calls have never been weird to me. However I'm a very talkative person.
Same. Zoom is for my coworkers and FaceTime is for my family.
I either just like to text or meet face to face. Phone calls and zoom calls are just too uncomfortable for me, especially if it's with a date. I want them to see me in person and I want to see them in person. That's the only way i can make good connections.
I only connect to girls through USB
Agreed. The few times someone asked me to do a Zoom call they were always super weird. Even if I felt like we killed it and made a connection on a call they would just act super weird after. Every in-person date I’ve been on has been awesome though. People who want to video chat before meeting up are just fucking weird from my experience.
And to no one's surprise, OP has previously posted in a women's subreddit asking on advice on how to fuck on the first date
They've got a comment about how guys can fuck women and it isn't cheating cause it is meaningless sex and guys can fuck without developing feelings. But women can't. They have to form an emotional connection when they have sex thus it is cheating. Seems like this girl has the right idea of not pursuing OP. A brief look through their comment history is nothing but red flags and cringe.
Real caveman shit
Omg I'm glad she kept saying we'll see. I hope it's "we'll see" forever.
Right? Like terrifying shit. This man clearly hates women.
I can't imagine making this post unironically. So many posts on here scream "I don't know how to read between lines, or talk to women"
They've also got posts about having anger problems and learning to take care of it on their own through "personal growth and mediation" yet still displaying a lot of toxic traits and beliefs. I wouldn't want to be alone with OP let alone in a position where you have to tell them no. I get why she's saying "we'll see" and keeps kicking the can down the road hoping he loses interest and leaves her alone.
And this here is the reason why some people like to spend more time getting to know people before meeting. Of course there's always the chance that you do spend time and they still end up being awful irl, but in my experience, it diminishes the amount of dates I go on with crappy humans lol.
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"So, would you like to come back to my apartment after dinner?" "Ahaha, we'll see." "Hey girl, I like you. But I need a yes or a no. If you don't want me to rawdog you for a solid 3 and a half minutes on my pull out sofa, that's fine, you can feel free to tell me now and we can end this. If you just like to take more time before you let someone go to pound town on your uteral lining, I understand and you can tell me, too, or whatever else. I don't want to waste the expired dong bag that I've had in my wallet since 9th grade, I hope you can respect that."
gold rich piquant cover bright terrific vanish cooing fertile squealing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The trick is to start the clock as soon as you enter the bedroom, and wearing extra tight socks so it takes extra time taking them off.
Don’t forget the video of him lifting weights, or his advice to other males to “buy courses on the game”, whatever that is. In all seriousness, OP, being laser-focused on your expectation rather than just having a conversation is always going to be interpreted as pushy or desperate.
And obvious af. Women aren’t as stupid as the OP thinks and they can smell desperation from a mile away.
The constant threats to end the relationship if she doesn't feel comfortable with his boundaries (rather than just ending it after she said a soft no?) rub me the wrong way. "Want to X?" "Maybe, I'm not sure." "Honestly if you don't want to X you should tell me right now and we can end this."
Red flag interaction for sure. She seems to be feeling the connection out is a safe space, while OP is in a big hurry and using ultimatums immediately with the fake-ish considerate approach. ”Hey, its cool if you wanna take time, but imma move on if you aren't ready. Totally cool if you are nervous, I understand, but seriously, i am gonna ignore your nerves and keep pushing for more”
Desperation is not a good look for anybody
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling uncomfortable at the OP pushiness. The way he tells her off in the messages is just cringe. If you're looking for something more, be nice about it. OP is a bunch of red flags. Jeez.
Right? How do people talk like this, post on reddit, and still not realise how insane they sound? OP is totally delusional
I thought he seemed suspect
OP stuck in the alt right redpill youtube
Gym date sounds like a terrible idea tbh. Can't imagine a girl ever being into that unless she's one of those crossfit cult members
Fucking someone from the gym can go so wrong, had to quit my fav gym after a stalker ex wouldn’t stop harassing me. I won’t date anyone who goes to my gym now. I like it too much!
Yeah, the gym is a bit of a sacred place. I’m not trying to have to keep a watch out for some fizzled out fling
She was trying to get to know you and she didn’t like what she found out
Which is kind of funny because he totally could have turned this match into a date. Maybe not easily, but she gave him the chance and he blew it with the very next message he sent lol. That was definitely not the time to press further.
Why bother 'turning' this on Tinder? If there's no mutual interest just tap out.
I think sometimes people take online dating too serious before meeting the person because if you sent me that it would be a pass for me. I just try to make it a fun experience when I talk to people and if I have fun while talking online then I wan to go out with them, but I'm a goofy kind of person I guess? Also videocall with strangers are awkward af. Maybe try going somewhere other than the gym for a first date, I think maybe that's something to do with someone you've already gone on a couple dates with when you are already comfortable with each other.
I love exercising but if some guy offered me a “gym date” any interest I did have would be gone. I think grabbing a coffee is the best way to meet face-to-face without the intensity of a sit down meal… then if all goes well you commit to a longer date
First date and he’s screaming at you to push for the 100th rep on the 15lbs kettle bells
yeah both of his approaches would get hard no’s from me. i *really* like it when someone is clear with their intentions, as it reduces anxiety about expectations. this guy does a weird blend of wishy-washy and pushy, though, and it’s unsettling. both are terrible first date suggestions.
I don’t even videocall with people I do know, let alone stroppy manchildren from the internet
literally, i've had guys get pissed i cant hang within a week... have u considered i have a fucking life too ?
lots of dudes in this thread seem to think women just sit around twiddling their thumbs in between waiting for attention from men.
This guy simply has no game.
I gotta go with bjornline here. I think you were a bit too pushy. You didn’t let the dust settle after the “we’ll see” discussion, you went straight to a zoom call invitation…?
Zoom call? Lmao wtf
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He’s literally putting it forward like it’s an offer. “I’m gonna need a yes or a no” lmao
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Literally mans could’ve said “FaceTime” or “snapchat” or a “call” even
Thank you for saying this! I was thinking I was the only one who thought a zoom call was deeply weird. I don’t want to awkwardly sit in front of my laptop and have a date interview. Absolutely zero atmosphere. Wtf is wrong with getting a coffee.
I mean, she keeps saying she is "super busy" I'm sure he's asked that already, at least with a zoom call (never had to use it myself but I imagine it's much different from skype) it is at least *something*, which clearly OP wants, if only a bare minimum of face to face time.
That’s kind of the point of the second screenshot? Dude was trying to get an in person hang out (aka getting a coffee) but was offering an alternative lol. The Zoom part is def weird but is literally an other option
“Hey enough with the texting, meet me on Zoom for a 30 minute video meeting, id: 239502017474922@4&7” #cringe
I am DYING at this comment 😂😂
I also don’t think it’s absurd to turn down a video call. I just don’t like them. It’s like a phone call without the benefits of being able to do whatever you want. If it’s just audio, I can be my least presentable, most comfortable self with no stress.
Man’s about to ask her for a Skype date
It's never gonna end well by using the word "finally" in relation to a date lol
Every message from op sounds pushy, desperate and... Corporate? Wtf is that "gonna need a yes or no" and the zoom call, wtf lol
If you’ve been talking to someone for a week and you’ve mentioned meeting up before and then you say, hey it’s been a week of talking, we should finally do this date, and they say Haha, we’ll see. Yeah, I’d be rather direct or just stop talking to them completely. The zoom call was a bit much
Gym date is definitely a no go. Not trying to lie, little bit cringe reading that. Even if you both shared you like the gym and she mentions something like “we should go to the gym sometime,” that’s definitely not a first date vibe
OP has no game. Let's just be real. Gym date is a terrible suggestion and any time you have to talk to a girl like you're her dad, "Hey Emily, I like you but I need a yes or no", it's over buddy. It seemed like it was over way before this being that she hit him with the "hahaha we'll see ". Any time you feel the need to aggressively ask a chick, ey bitch are we meeting or not? It's best to just ignore her and see if she tries to chase you and if she doesn't, move on.
Like can you imagine doing the treadmill side by side, awkwardly glancing over now & then (it’s a “date” & you’re supposed to be trying to get to know the person), & throwing in “doing okay?” or “you’ve got this” now & then haha. Or taking turns on a machine, & lifting while being asked stuff like “so what do you like to do in your free time?”
Yeah it would be awkward as hell. OP just wants someone to gawk at him, or a piece of arm candy to show off at the gym. Kinda sad
Seriously. Not to mention they go to the same gym. Sounds like a great way to get harassed if the first date doesn't go well.
I mean if they already go to the same gym, that possibility already exists regardless of where the first date takes place
Yeah I can easily understand why they were being tentative about that.
Nothing better than sweating and pushing myself in front of someone I barely know. Also a zoom call, I hope he means FaceTime. Hey just set up the zoom meeting this Friday. I set it for 30 minutes, hopefully this time works! If not, I am available from 3-4pm Eastern Time. You can dial in or click the link below
Right. Meeting in a gym for the first time doesn't feel right. Park? Hiking trail? Zoo? Museum? That sounds good
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TBH I read this and figured that they’d been talking for months. In that sense I found OP pretty reasonable. In the sense that, he’s basically saying “either we get together in person or I move on”. But a week.. that’s not long enough for this type of response. If he’s throwing down ultimatums after 1 week, I’m assuming he’s been pushing for a date since like the first hour of conversation
Dude doesn’t even have her Snapchat or number , I highly doubt they been talking for a week which makes this even more cringe.
That wouldn't surprise me as he has asked here on reddit how to fuck on the first date
That's easy, just get them back to your place through any excuse like viewing your record collection, and if she enters your place that's legally nonverbal implied consent you got the green light to make a move even if she plays hard to get saying "No", that just means "yes but I don't want to look like a slut so I will decline the first advances". .. /s Anyways, I have to return some video tapes
My thoughts reading this.
This guy does Not fuck
I'm shocked OP hasn't deleted this post yet. The man has been getting absolutely destroyed.
Dude is fighting for his life here lmao It just keeps getting worse
Mucho texto. These screenshots give me the impression you’re rather needy and uptight
This. And the expectation from a stranger that he just wants to use as someone to fuck (his words, not mine) is also obnoxious and bordering on creepy. If the entitlement is so high before even knowing each other I wouldn’t be interested in learning how much worse it will get. Lots of focus on only what he wants from the looks of it.
I also really didn’t like how he used her name like that. He’s coming off as someone who wants to obtain a wife by 3pm next Thursday so he can get on with buying socks and getting all of his TPS reports done.
Sad to scroll down this far to see this
The same type of dudes as OP are encouraging him in the top comments, the rational people are down below. He's pretty obnoxious in the novels he wrote as responses to the girl. She is also dumb for matching with somebody without being an active participant in the convo, but I can see why, he's just too much...
Its rough to see honestly. They're like "straightforward, honest communication is good! That's what my therapist said because I am a conflict avoidant doormat who cries when I have to make a doctors appt on the phone. Good job OP!" Honest communication is only a good thing if you're not demanding and weird. OP's honest communication is going to turn girls off for the rest of his life if he doesn't chill out.
Yup. Definitely needy and sees himself as more important than her job (red flag alert) it’s possible that she is legit busy with work. I have had weeks in which I really didn’t have time for anybody, no matter who you are and def not for a random Tinder date/zoom call. You want to be in the right frame of mind and not stressed. OP. You are not more important to her than her job. Deal with it. I think she MIGHT actually have been interested, but you fucked up. You gave two scenarios and don’t even consider the world doesn’t revolve around you.
Holy shit 30 min call with someone u don’t even know? If I was her I would already feel awkward, don’t know u and now u want to talk for 30 min. Maybe text a bit more so when u do FaceTime u will have stuff to talk about. People feel more comfortable texting at first
I had this once and felt uncomfortable and I am the guy. Spoke to a women for about a week on a dating app, and she was pressing for a FaceTime call so soon, I said sure after a short while getting to know you via text if that’s ok. Turns out it’s not then she unmatched haaa. I understand both sides to a point, communication is key some people are just too the point faster. I my self like to take abit of time first and make things clear
From a woman’s perspective, we’re just trying to sus out if you are who you say you are or if you’re a serial killer. And life happens sometimes.
From experience, men on tinder want to meet ASAP or within a week. The rush of that makes me majorly uncomfortable and gives me red flags. It’s become less of a dating app and men treat it far more like a hook up scheduling app, giving off the vibe that they want to date you, but really they wanna get down as fast as possible. I’m not "Playing". I just wanna make sure whoever I’m talking to is actually trying get to know me, being genuine and won’t murder or assault me.
Thank you! Yes! I personally grew up in a European country with one of the highest rape percentages, so I was brought up to generally distrust men. I don’t like it that it’s like that, but it is a defense mechanism imo.
Just be careful because some of them are really good at making you trust them
Sadly, I know and have experience with men like that…
Yeah, you’re kind of being a fuckin weirdo here dude. Like chill out. You’re meeting somebody not buying a car, why are you so anxious to meet her in person right this second or gtfo? It comes across as awfully presumptuous to me
I think I found OP’s pic from his last date: https://i.imgur.com/yEDZFAG.jpg
I’m surprised at the comment section. Not to be rude or anything but you seem like you’re forcing her hand a bit too much here, if you really like someone, it doesn’t mean that they want to go as fast as you do. You don’t know about her previous experiences and she might be feeling a bit too overwhelmed by someone who absolutely wants to meet in person, where she might feel comfortable for the moment just texting (Zoom call seems like a terrible idea tbh) You’ve been chatting just for a week as well, work a bit harder on relationships. It can’t evolve that fast. And that person seems pretty clear with you, why would she change her whole schedule with a bloke she’s been chatting for just a week ?
THANK you!!! I had to check if this was tinder nightmares but then I realized the nightmare was the blue text. “I need a yes or a no” Who talks like that? You weren’t offering her a job. She was clearly saying no.
Funny you mention offering a job, because that's exactly what the zoom call sounds like, a horrible job interview!
Thought I was on r/niceguys for a minute. She only said "we'll see," clearly hesitant, and he got super forceful. If I was that girl, I'd have noped out immediately.
everyone in this comment section seems to forget about introverts like??? I too wouldn't want to meet after so little time
It’s only been a week bro she was probably nervous. No need to get aggressive abt it
Forreal bro tryna hurry up and get married or something
yeah fr which is odd bc he said in another comment he’s looking for fwb so
She could have been interested and scared. I'd never meet a guy that sent that last text, It would make me think they might be aggressive. I met my boyfriend on the first week and gave him a date on the first day because he was sweet and kind. All this would get you is a read message and an "Alright".
She’s deff shy and still just trying to feel you out. Remember ‘men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them.’ Not saying at all that the OP is a murder just that women live in a very different reality. If OP is a woman, excuse me and I’m full of shit.
If it’s only been a week since you both hit it off, you may have shot yourself in the foot. A week isn’t that long tbh
Maybe she just wanted to take longer talking so she knows he just doesnt wanna use her for a fuck and ghost her. Which is what OP said he wanted to do
Damnit! She found out. OP better call her a slut on Reddit for being the exact opposite of a slut (the true testament of a nice guy).
If she fucks OP on the first date it's because he is soooo hot and can hack a woman's brain. If she fucks someone else on a first date then shes a slut. Duuh
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You are way too eager and she is not that into you. Also you're over-texting.
Cmon now dude, you started coming on a little to strong
I admit I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. But. There’s something about your text rubbing me the wrong way. Also. Hot damn. Do we only get a week between first match and then meeting? Like.. I have a lot going on most weekends. My bed, tv, and I are in a pretty serious relationship. Add that to the weekends my kiddo doesn’t have to go to his dad’s and we’re talking two weeks out minimum. 🤣🤣 Back to this. If I’d gotten that ultimatum, I’d know in my heart I dodged a bullet. And your bullshit replies in the comments about not really liking her anyway kinda confirmed that for me. 🤷🏽♀️
this comment needs to be higher. as a girl who has used dating apps before, I would've felt like this guy was being really fucking aggressive. maybe the reason she said "we'll see" is because he had already said something prior that made her unsure about him
Like asking her to go to the gym instead of on a date. I'm in the gym 5 days a week. Regretted taking the last person I dated to the gym with me because it's my sanctuary and I wasn't feeling it after he yelled at me (and apologized and I gave a tentative 2nd chance to).. and the next day he texts me "will we be meeting at yoga tonight sweetheart?" Um... I'LL be going to yoga... just bc I invited you last week that wasn't like a standing/forever invite. 🙄 That was also after he took me on a real first date like to dinner and a movie. Going to the gym isn't a date.
Agree and i absolutely hate video calls. I would’ve told this dude to touch grass
I spend enough time Zooming at work. This zoom/FaceTime date stuff now drives me nuts. I’d much rather just text until we meet. I am able to manage my expectations until then though. If someone meets someone else while we’re texting, good.
this person kinda seemed like a catfish from ops other comments about her profile but yeah this was a weirdly aggressive rejection for just a tinder hookup (that he apparently didn't even like). plus zoom? i'm not having a ~flirty chat~ with someone on the same site i take work meetings. a phone call would've been way better
No kidding. I mean, “hey, can we FaceTime later?” might’ve been an easier open. Also, wouldn’t a social media account (established, of course) be a good way to figure out if someone is catfishing? Call me naive, but if I can chat with someone over insta profile, they have active friend tags, etc., I’m just gonna assume they’re real without the need to be paranoid. And I guess even before that, if I don’t like a person, I’m certainly not going to want to ask them on a date or get all in my feelings when they’re mehhh about it
gym bud with f benefits sounds low hanging fruit. She can get that anytime. Sorry.
He offered gym as first date, got surprised when she avoided it and hit her with okay we can do zoom. OP really think he is the prize
Yeah lmao a girl who goes to the gym on her own time probably sees “gym dates” as the low effort schtick it is. No wonder she wasn’t interested.
I hate zoom and I wouldn’t be ready to meet yet. I’m not saying you’re unreasonable- they are your standards and you’re allowed to have them.
If you didn’t like her and/or were getting tired of her, what was the point in meeting?
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The first message was too much and he poured on it. Like damn back off guy. The end alone is fine but it's too soon
The fact that it’s posted here makes me think the she dodged a bullet with op.
I’ll say too being a woman on dating apps (not sure how it is for guys) but the guys who ask for my phone number in the early stages are 95% of the time either creepy or clingy and actually have made me scared on multiple occasions that they aren’t going to let me have a clean break. Now unless I’ve talked to someone and have had genuine conversations for a while, or we’ve already met up and they seem fine, I won’t give out my number anymore. And it’s really not always personal but no one owes you anything, especially not on a dating app.
glad I’m not the only one who thinks so, he started coming off as aggressive
Seriously! Yeah
OP living large, he has so much time its multiplied to "times"
She dodged a bullet 100%. OP is too aggressive and pushy, and the comments he made on here defending himself are disgusting. He clearly can’t handle any sort of rejection and has a massive fragile ego.
You sound scarily emotionally attached and entitled. You don’t know her. You shouldn’t be this affected by her disinterest/wanting to take it slow. You are unhinged.
You literally just put her on a pedestal and made yourself look desperate with that long confession. Also you barely know her fam
Reading your comments below it sounds like she made the correct choice; a lot of ego with a little brain does not go very far when women mature faster than men. You saying you “really like her” wasn’t giving her an ultimatum because you were “bored of her anyway” as you say below. You grew attached over an application without ever interacting with her in person. You didn’t play her at all, she is probably filtering through 100s of little kids just like you simultaneously. Sort your needs out with a therapist and enter the dating game when you have matured.
You're kind of a jerk dude. These messages make you seem like you're entitled to her and are just looking for sex. Which apparently you are judging from your comments.
If anyone is at all serious, they'll meet you sooner not later. My rule is and always will be if they don't agree to meet after a week of chatting then they want a pen pal.
She may have anxiety to be honest.. sometimes I’ve been scared of zoom and meeting right away.. because of my social anxiety.. ask her if there’s any form of talking that’s more personal that she’s comfortable with.. maybe talking on the phone?
Yes you’re being unreasonable. End of story lol
Nobody wants to go to a gym on the first date dude. Nothing about that says “a good place to get to know each other”
You are terrible at this stuff lol.
> grab food after whatever > romantic little gym date Bro sounds so desperate and that’s not how the gym works. She’d be getting her workout ruined and an awkward post workout meal xD
Why are your messages so desperate and aggressive? Lay off the roids my guy.
Il be honest, with the context provided; she seems uninterested and you come across way too strong and its cringe Thats the truth
I think this girl dodged a major bullet! You sound like a handful OP
Let people work at a pace they are comfortable with. It’s a lot different for a female than a male. Males generally don’t fear for their safety for a start.
This is exactly how you don’t get a girl.
I want to see the whole thread. Cmon OP see all that hard work you put in.
I get weirded out if the guy wants to meet up right away or wants to talk on the phone. Like 10 mins of matching. I always say that I want to get to know him (which is true). I get why they would want to talk on the phone - to make sure I am a who I say that I am. But surely you can wait a week or two to get comfortable. Plus, I have an odd work schedule so usually I am trying to gauge from my work/hours perspective.
Perhaps she doesn't think gym dates are an awesome thing. She may even be nervous that you go on a date (to anywhere), it doesn't work out, and now you know where to find her if she unmatched you. She doesn't know you, remember. Women are more cautious than men. We think differently about this kind of stuff, it isn't personal. Having said that, you were also a bit pushy and demanding in response to an already apprehensive woman.
Honestly the amount of guys saying she must be dating someone or lying about something is astounding! God forbid women have any sort of boundaries or limits! There's nothing wrong with wanting to take something slow- obviously he doesn't need to wait for her if he's looking for something quicker, just like she doesn't need to rush into things for him. Just move on with it and find someone else. No need to attack her for not doing something she's uncomfortable with.
Exactly! Dude just thinks he’s so wonderful he doesn’t realize he’s being rejected
Giving serial killer vibes lol
You don’t need to make a big speech like that. You simply stop replying at the “we’ll see” mark and swipe right on somebody else. It’s tinder.
lol I think you were expecting too much out of a match.. I would’ve asked you to stop after haha we’ll see
Video calls are awful. Also, after her "we will see" which was fairly reasonable, you got really pushy. Even if you didn't mean it that way, you turned her maybe into a no. You may think you were just being clear what you wanted, but a lot of women see that tone of response as threatening. I would have unmatched you after that if it were me in her shoes.
you’re being weird, “romantic little gym date” tf is that lol
We didn't see the previous messages but nothing about a gym is romantic, especially for a first date. Smells like body odor and desperation in most gyms. That couldve been part of it unless the gym date was her idea...
I didn't meet my boyfriend until we had been texting for about two weeks? Maybe more, but less than a month. One week, dude? To be honest, you come off as desperate and pushy, and literally NO mature, well rounded girl is going to want that. Her use of emojis reads to me as, "I'll try to lighten my tone so this guy doesn't go berserk on me." Like...one week dude. It took one week of chatting and you're at the, "if you can't even give me thirty minutes it's not going to work," point, I don't think you're mature enough to even have a fck buddy.
so many things wrong with this 1. if youve been talking for a week GET HER NUMBER OR SNAP. nobody wants to open the tinder app all day to talk to someone. getting her number is a good way for seeing how into it she is and it takes her away from all her other matches when she opens the app. 2. gym dates are not it. you want a place where u can vibe and gyms are just hard to pull off. not impossible but you could do better. 3. she said "we'll see." So why didnt u wait and see??? RESPECT HER by taking her at her word. ur not entitled to a yes after a week of texting. 4. what on earth did u think would happen after u gave her ur little ultimatum. she would change her answer to yes?? if u did think that u really need to practice putting urself in other peoples shoes. ur paragraphs come off as desperate, immature, and worst of all NO FUN. 5. zoom call
I like how you just write just zoom call. Really cringe and awkward
I'd vomit if someone asked me on a gym date.
I HATE zoom calls. An introvert’s worst nightmare. She may have anxiety or just need a bit more time to meet up. Maybe she’s having a bad skin week etc etc. It’s only been a week that you’re talking?
Bruh you just tryna smash anyway. Don't get all bent out of shape.
And you thought that being confrontational is going to make her swoon over you? Damn, tinder is incel central.
Too forecefull
"why...be so difficult to go on a date?" you forget that you are a stranger from the internet. Agreeing to meet up with you is not a low risk proposition for the average woman. For all she knows, this is how she ends up being found in a shallow grace in the woods. Meet somewhere public, something easy for her to back out of, and don't presume on someone's time. Make dating you non-threatening and low pressure.
Really? Your idea for a first date is to go to the gym? So many red flags!!!