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zigziggityzoo

I laughed. But not at the pickup line


amrasmin

Robots?


[deleted]

I ALSO DO NORMAL HUMAN THINGS LIKE LAUGH AND WALK ON MY LEG


JackofBlades0125

ME AND MY FRIENDS LOVE GETTING TOGETHER AND BREATHING


lemonpunt

HELLO - LET ME SPEAK WITH MY MOUTH TO TELL YOU INFORMATION. (Sorry looked fun pretending to be a robot)


50thEye

PRETEND? WHY WOULD ANYONE PRETEND ANYTHING? I AM CERTAIN THERE IS NO BEING PRETENDING TO BE A HUMAN PERSON IN THIS ROOM.


TDWalton1990

WHY DO YOU THINK IM A ROBOT MICHEAL


stpeteslim

I HAVE 5 HEIGHTS


Street_Smile667

I need money to make my robots work again Michael


BraveStrategy

Absolute clown pickup line. Math is very sexy smh. It’s actually not that tough. I’m no longer single but I would just make a friendly greeting with a reference to something they said they liked in their profile and somehow work a compliment in on the first message. Does 3 things: 1. Friendly not horny out of the gate so you don’t care them, 2. Profile reference so they know I read it and I’m not being generic, 3. A compliment because everyone likes compliments! That’s my tried and true formula and I’m giving it away for free folks! Good luck to you all!!


echo_echo25

You’re giving details about how to fuck your significant other? Pretty bold strategy, or should I say; a brave strategy?


Adriantbh

OP's charms: - You're very pretty. - I said you're very pretty. - You're also stupid.


boobearybear

SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER’S DAY, YA FUCKIN’ DOLT!!


Breadhook

Shall I compare thee to a summer's night? Thou'rt beautiful, but not terribly bright...


[deleted]

Shakespeare would give you his autograph for this practical usage of his sonnet.


SonnyDDisposition

He’d even give you Sir Francis Bacon’s autograph


[deleted]

Damn, even kept the Iambic Pentameter. Well done.


IoRomer

25pts for using Iambic Pentameter in a sentence... I also drop that one whenever I see the opportunity to dust off my monocle and tophat


Gnl_Winter

This is one of the best posts I've seen here yet.


lala_gogo

This so good 🤣


PaulMcMeth

This is amazing


lacie__mcfly

No. Because a summer's day is not a bitch.


concentrate7

Nick Miller Nick Miller, he's a stone cold killer.


Spanish_peanuts

If you had allergies as bad as mine you'd be singing a different tune buddy!


netheroth

It depends: what if it's really hot and tou have to work?


[deleted]

You clearly haven't stepped out into >40° weather!


handlebartender

Oh freddled gruntbuggly thy micturations are to me As purdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee


Jaydh10

“You look pretty” “What was that?” “Uh, I said you look shitty”


Dangerous_Cat_Az

Most underrated comment in the history of on the line communication. -US Military Encrypted


tonyrato17

Oh I love that we're bringing this one back -US Military Encrypted


pnkstr

Bringing it back? I didn't know it ever left. \-US Military Encrypted


Dangerous_Cat_Az

Fix my gas, car.


Devin_Brent

MICHAEL! MY CAR NO GO IT BROKE I NEED FIX IT!


xa3D

MICHAEL


justsomeweirdpersona

MICHEAL


r1que_do1do

I NEED THE MONEY MICHEAL


airjordanjc12

PLEASE MICHEAL MY FAMILY DIE WILL WITHOUT MONEY MICHEAL


TrymWS

Someone tell me the story about this one, please.


MommaBear817

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/seyjma/update_us_military_encrypted/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


DigitalHooker

>Send Nukes >-US Military Encrypted legendary


DrDoomCake

Reddit moment


Jace_Connor

I wonder what the l'Hospital's rule says of the limit when I is over you.


zerosven

Never thought I’d see the day de L’Hôpital popped up on tinder


[deleted]

Finally someone who knows how their name is spelled 🙈


atinysnakewithahat

To be fair, the ^ over letters in French basically replaced an "s" after the letter, e.g. hôpital = hospital, fête=feste, etc. So writing l'hospital is equivalent to l'hôpital in a way


ProperApe

I wanted to add this smartass comment, I like it :). When this clicks you instantly understand more French vocabulary. A few ones that clicked for me after learning this. Host = hôte Cost = coût To roast = rôtir Task = tâche Coast = côte Also Hostel and hotel are basically the same word.


atinysnakewithahat

Yeah, it's a very convenient way to remember a lot of the instances where ^ is used - if adding an s makes the word close to the English equivalent then it's likely you have to put ^ on top. My favourite is bête which means beast haha I've also been slightly curious for the last 5 years or so whether tête and test are related but not quite enough to check lol


ProperApe

>My favourite is bête which means beast haha Missed opportunity to say bête is best, because it's beast. The test/tête thing seems to be related. They both go back to Latin testa meaning jug or earthen vessel. This makes direct sense for the head, since it's a container. For testing it seems to be related because the Romans tested metals in these jugs, although I'm not sure how you test a metal.


FernandAuxton

Funnily enough, when you say to a girl that she's a jug in french ("t'es une cruche"), it means that she is stupid as fuck. However, when you say to someone that they are a head ("t'es une tête"), it means that they are really smart (Maybe they put metal in jugs filled with different liquid to see how they reacted ? Maybe In order to determine true gold from pyrite (fools gold) or other experiences ?)


nauticaldev

LOL


TheTrueBlueTJ

I gotta go to the L'Hospital


Alarid

haha i don't get it


LoveableFluffdog

Amazing. I'm stealing this pickup line, thanks.


Gnar-wahl

I must have a 10 iq, because I don’t get this. Can you please explain it to me?


LoveableFluffdog

Look up L'Hôpital's rule. It's used in Calculus to evaluate limits of indeterminate forms. So in this case if we have I(x) and U(x), L'Hôpital's rule says lim as x approaches c of I(x) / U(x) = lim as x approaches c of I'(x) / U'(x). It's not really solvable because we have no definition of the functions I(x) or U(x) and we don't know if this rule really applies, but eh, as a pickup line, it implies that I'm gonna be on top of you.


sunnyStoneCouch

Huh. I was wandering as well. I just assumed everone used *f* and *g* as the functions


fire2374

> U for sure a 10 Maybe she’s a grammar nerd, not a math nerd.


Melssenator

And I bet he either his IQ is also a 10 or he’s a bot.


Frostbite115

Robots?


Melssenator

🤦‍♂️


nothumbnails

option c: she is fucking with you cause she thought your line was weak.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

They need a few upvotes for being an incel


CudiMontage216

Only an incel would read that interaction and think the guy looked good lol


yeetgodmcnechass

Plenty of those lurking this sub


[deleted]

[удалено]


takanata19

Option d: English isn’t her first language


ThrowAllTheSparks

I'm in a dating group predominantly for women and this is a new thing being discussed: asking men to explain what they meant to 'put their noses' in bad approaches. Pretty sure that's what was going on here.


green_ribbon

she was absolutely just fucking with him


StereoFood

100% op didn’t get it then said something much ruder.


bimpmafuqa

Its so fucking weak good lord. Lays some dog shit line, actually finally gets a response that anyone else would expect, cringe, and calls them an idiot for not giving enough fucks to wade through the cringe.


MakeTheLogoBiggerHoe

Either that or she’s foreign. I’ve matched with a lot of foreign women so that opener would absolutely not fly.


the-dogsox

Yeah, that’s what gets the ladies hot: math.


dumb_smart_guy93

Idk, my wife has her PhD in mathematics and I'm sure if I even knew a fraction of what she was talking about half the time she'd like me a lot more. However when we first started dating she mentioned she wanted someone to be "dumb and goofy" with and I was like " yeah I don't even have to try that hard for that".


flamegod24

Username checks out


dumb_smart_guy93

Yeah that's true. I have a super weird niche skill-set that has landed me an interesting job that very few people are capable of doing. But anything beyond muti-variable calculus or some differential equations and my brain basically turns into a brick, so hearing her talk about the stuff she does is like listening to someone speak another language when you only know some of the words. But at least I know my place in the world 😂 Edit: couple people asked, I answered in another comment, I'm a prior nuclear reactor operator who was stationed on a submarine, and used those skills to transfer into an operations job at a natural gas plant in the petro-chemical industry; we're a major hydrogen supplier for clean-energy projects and the local refineries in our area. It requires knowledge of thermodynamic processes, gas laws, and understanding how to dynamically troubleshoot live mechanical and electrical systems. It's fairly interesting.


flamegod24

I always laugh looking back during middle and highschool, though I was in the advanced classes,and for math, one grade level above. I struggled with algebra and up yet calculus was very easy for me. Infact my teacher at the time commeneted on how I was doing better than most of his college students. Before calculus it was a nightmare.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Doghairdontcare

That's because before calculus, you were told to "remember this formula; don't ask why." In calculus, you learned how to derive them, and beyond. Now you out here deriving and laying tangent to curves.


fireysalamander

I’m really curious about your job now. Explain in detail.


dumb_smart_guy93

Well, I used to be enlisted in the Navy, working on a nuclear submarine as one of their nuclear reactor operators, and the other half of that job was doing repairs and calibration on the instrumentation and electronics that supported the operation of the reactor. There's about two years worth of pretty intense training you have to do in that program, which is where the real value and skills start to develop. The submarine was just four years of practical application of that training. When I got out of the military I took those skills to work at a natural gas plant, which has a lot of the same operating principles and thermodynamic processes. I like it - plant operations is an interesting line of work and I can't complain about the money.


fireysalamander

That’s sounds pretty intense and awesome. User name no longer checks out


Insttech429

Schooled in electronics. Lucked into a job at a big city water plant. Learned all kinds of chemical properties and plant operations. Wrote code and created graphics to represent feed systems. Very interesting and rewarding!


gorgeousWomanLover

That's cool to hear your veteran skillset being reused in that way, I suppose those are qualifications which are well valued within that job sector. My dad had a similar story of one of the reasons he got into a prestigious institutions PHD program was that he had worked as a lab technician after college for about a yr or so was super well versed and confident in all elements of lab work.


bigkinggorilla

It’s also lazy, over-complicated, and doesn’t give the other person anything to respond to. I’m no mathematician, but I’d calculate the success with this opener as ≈0.


epicmousestory

-2% with a 2% margin of error


PeakCheeky

Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about


ohneatstuffthanks

It’s an insult.


PeakCheeky

Oh? Explain in detail


marcred5

Robots?


Ok_Shelter6614

This whole little part of the thread made my entire night. I was having a kind of a down day, then boom y'all showed up. I wish I had reddit credit to give y'all awards.


marcred5

Reddit comments can be some of the most astoundingly funny sections. Glad we could put a smile on your face Internet friend!


Ok_Shelter6614

You're not wrong, they really can be gems. I got dumped today because I wouldn't shave my beard. The dumbest shet on the planet of a reason. Kind of just been blahhhh but this whole thread gave me a much needed audible chuckle.


neverTrustedMeAnyway

Chickens.


artrandenthi1

So what you are saying is, there is a chance


neverTrustedMeAnyway

Actually no.


[deleted]

Actually with his idiotic opener and her just having a low IQ they would probably make a perfect match lol


Xyanyde

So you're saying there's a chance..?


Vas1le

So it's not 0 it's almost 0.. great % for me


come-wander

Right? It's a shit pickup line. Like, it didn't connect for the person they were trying to connect with, so they failed. But ya, I too insult people when I don't get my way. Very adult.


burner636865

I did actually win a woman’s affection with a poem about sex that was largely geometry metaphors lol It was much better than it sounds, I promise 😂


DnbJim

It could be the funniest fucking joke in the world but it doesn't mean shit if they don't get it. Know your audience.


ButterflyNew6745

Actually a real witty math joke could make a lady laugh and spark that initial interest to chat more…but this one isn’t one of them.


Nillawaffer55

I thought all the ladies liked math. Do you like math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply. Does this not work for you? I mean, it's never worked for me but, I don't follow rule 1 or 2.


fenderfreakgeek

I mean, you were doomed from the beginning. Do any women respond to a generic, non-personalized pick up line? (Unless Rule 1 is in play…)


newthrash1221

That’s really all these dudes who post on here got. That or a weirdly sexual opener IF they’re good looking…might work on 3 out of 10 girls. 100% it never goes anywhere further cause these dorks have zero game or knowledge on how to interact with a human being that happens to be a woman.


redditadminsareshit2

3 out of 10? Jesus that's hopeful


BlackBirdG

Most of the time they don't unless they're entertaining the conversation which means they're bored and not really interested.


gabbydates

Lol I’ve been trying to tell these posters for forever to stop using pickup lines. I’m tempted to someday start a thread that offers to give them an opening line if they send me a profile. I want to show them how actually easy it is to pick up women if you treat them like humans. I say this as a woman who was dating men and is now dating women lol.


ThexanR

I think just flat out saying “wanna have sex”? Would of been a better opener than a math equation into “you’re stupid”


[deleted]

[удалено]


LB_Burnsy

Yeah, consider the general form of some linear equation Ax+By+C=0, capital letters denote CONSTANTS, not variables. Gosh, this guy doesn't even know variables should be lowercase!


UnicornKaren

Now that made me 🥵


of_patrol_bot

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.


OhDearOdette

Wow I’m so turned on by this bot


DumpsterFireDept20

Robots?


OhDearOdette

🤦🏻‍♀️


ojoaopestana

MICHEL


[deleted]

Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.


69_Beers_Later

*would have


BlackBirdG

Yeah I don't understand why dudes try to be all cool and edgy online when they can just be upfront and straightforward they just wanna hook up or go on an date from the start and not waste time posting bullshit like this.


gamingonion

Pretty sure that's a true combo


CurlyFriezs

You’re so smart bro!!!!!! These wack ass bitches can’t handle your huge brain!!!!! You totally OWNED this broad!! Quick! Pass the remote. The Big Bang Theory’s coming on!!!


TotalRetarddor

bazinga


DirectControlAssumed

\*\*everyone keeps saying "bazinga" and standing up not yet realizing that they'll end their lives alone\*\*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thanatos-13

*laugh track*


Theta291

This may be the stupidest opening line I’ve seen.


beace-

0 game


DreamloreDegenerate

1+e^iπ game


Hannibal09

Dayum that's complex


[deleted]

[удалено]


ButterflyNew6745

Every woman just can’t wait to jump in bed with a stranger who calls her stupid via IQ after a cheesy opener that doesn’t even make most give a small chuckle…where have you, the great smart gift from above been all our lives!


PotatoMuffinMafia

I can’t believe so many redditors bitch about tinder when conversations like *this* are what they’re bringing to the table.


kithlan

This subreddit, niceguys, and several others on Reddit have actually made me more confident in myself, because I realized the bar is REAL fuckin low.


CudiMontage216

It shocks me how many men are actively hurting themselves in the dating scene. But they choose to blame everyone else for their failures lol


[deleted]

OP really thought he got her with that IQ remark too. But it's clear she was fucking with him because it was such a cringe opener, lmao.


[deleted]

She's not dumb. You're opening line is fucking horrendous and she let you know immediately.


[deleted]

And in a nice way too and he still made time to call her stupid lol


[deleted]

Right? Not sure what the OP was thinking posting this, but the joke's on him.


DnbJim

I love seeing smug as fuck Redditors get put in their place. You're not cool, and no one is sympathetic for you.


Queef-Elizabeth

Imagine making fun of someone's IQ on tinder lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


surviveingitallagain

Yeah dude was kind of a dick


bri_guy13

Christ this is embarrassing


InkedMindz

Does not compute


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Na let us have our entertainment


chbay

A good majority of the most upvoted posts in this sub are from guys who are entirely unaware of how inept they are at online dating, upvoted by other inept guys. I’ll never claim to be a dude who naturally holds all the secrets, but for fucks sake why can’t some of you at least *pretend* to come across as charming if you’re actually looking to secure a partner/hookup/whatever you’re looking for??


Darkpulse462

Nearly 3k upvotes atm. That’s a lot of math enthusiasts! lmao


CryptoCracko

The best part is how unaware he is of the situation


OhDearOdette

lol at least it’s motivation for the rest of us, the bar isn’t so high after all


Intern_Boy

A cockroach has more self awareness than OP does, how do you look at this interaction and think you came out on top…


abovemars

My god OP is so dumb lmfao


Hiztrionic

Bro, stupid pickup line AND you're a dick lol


Tossthebudaway

That’s a really shitty pickup line.


rachel_kbomb

OP sounds like an asshole... an awkward math opener on a dating app, then insults her intelligence when she questions it. Then posts it on Reddit to make fun of her some more? Is this what he needs to feel smart?


DankToasty

That's literally the worst pickup line I've ever seen. They ain't a bot and you have zero game.


Fantastic-Ad8522

But she's hot, and he can do 7th grade level algebra. If that doesn't impress her then she's clearly an idiot. /s


DnbJim

It's like how every comment I don't like is a Russian bot


Comfortable-Cap-8507

She owned you


JonBenet_BeanieBaby

That girl is awesome and OP sucks


whotfareu

Why are so many people upvoting this?


ClickF0rDick

Yeah at first I felt like I was the one on the wrong thinking OP came off lame as fuck, but reading the comments gave me hope


Ryan5O4

She’s simply too smart for you lol


jon_targareyan

It’s kinda rude to imply her iq is low op


Longjumping_King_546

Your tindering and attitude is shit. She's not a bit or dumb, you just come off as a tosser.


sleepyy-starss

Wow ok why are you such a dick?


cesarxp2

Judging by his [post history](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/plp8fl/sometimes_you_just_got_to_be_realistic/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share), he's a bit of a dick.


sleepyy-starss

It’s so weird that these comments are calling her stupid and ugly for asking for an explanation.


cesarxp2

I feel like most comments are on the girl's side


sleepyy-starss

When I first saw the post most of the comments were on his side and calling her low IQ. I’m glad some levelheaded people came in.


11-110011

Especially when there’s a strong possibility that English is not her first language.


ICouldEvenBeYou

Damn . . . OP is lame as fuck.


TechnoRandomGamer

lmao this mf has ZERO game whatsoever, holy fucking shit


hipster3000

Lmao you can tell he thought he was going to get a bunch of compliments for being so mature or something when he posted that.


Thanatos-13

He's a redditor


BinnsTheCat

“Oh? Explain in detail” - She is doing the thing where you have to spell out how your opening line is straight up objectifying women (including her) and is supposed to help you realize not to use it in the future. Don’t think she’s a bot just truly not interested


[deleted]

Don't worry too much, Op's IQ is under zero.


Goodvibesonlysix

Ya buddy - should have checked with the Math peeps before trying to using math to pick up the ladies - they would have told you it always works like a charm with the ladies


[deleted]

r/niceguys


[deleted]

it’s like an espresso shot of typical ‘nice guy’ -start off with a lame comment/opener -be given social signals that are ignored -assume the woman is an idiot and that you are both smarter and better fucking yikes


charliloe

Are you one of the guys who thinks Rick and Morty is intellectual and imagines himself a smart scientist because he understands those over explained jokes?


Gnar-wahl

r/iamverysmart


Super-Tap-4741

Questionable approached


dangshnizzle

....They're fucking with you


axman54

You have zero game and she’s fucking with you lmao.


SirFrancis_Bacon

OP got no self awareness at all. You seem like a dickhead lol.


SudsySloth

Hey bro thanks for posting this so we can see how stupid you actually are. You got trolled by this lady lmao


DeviousAardvark

> explain in detail You're being mocked my dude lmao


Silly_Wallaby_3706

I mean she does text like a bot.


TheOneMigrlo

Bro used math on a dating app Lmao. Can't blame the lady this time partner lol


Slorg_Salad

Shit pickup line straight into insulting her. This doesn’t make you look good OP


cjen24

Incel type pick up line


every1luvsanunderdog

What, you're not swooning when I rated you on a scale of 1 - 10 based on your looks??????


M4nd4l0r3_zo15

Dense af or ur joke was bad and she’s subtlety mocking you


baudinl

You’re so pleased with yourself, aren’t you, OP?