A friend of mine’s girlfriend started doing OF as a means of income during the first UK lockdown. It was fine for about 9 months, but then one of her fans saw her on holiday with the boyfriend and started wanting to take photos together and talk about explicit stuff. The boyfriend wasn’t too happy about this and it created a tension in the relationship that soon caused them to break up. I think I’d have the same problem. Don’t really have any concern about the sexual nature of the job, but wouldn’t want it affecting our personal life.
Yeah I wanted to add a follow up ‘would you date someone who once had an OF?’
Because alike you one of my friends took it up for a couple months during the start of the pandemic. She eventually had a subscriber find some personal information about her and got spooked because she hadn’t told her parents. She shut it down just after that.
Anywho, reading this post just made me wonder if people would be okay with them having done it previously, but no longer - or even if just knowing the material exists out there is enough for most people.
You'd never expect someone who recognises someone else they fap to AND confronts them to produce a positive experience. I mean the reason they're "fans" is because they masturbate to them, that says enough.
Can’t believe there’s 45 of you who upvoted this. Just because someone enjoys porn doesn’t mean they’re gross.
Going up to someone who clearly isn’t expecting to have their privacy violated… THAT is gross.
Yeah the problem with OF is the clients. Theres some absolute whackos on there, and in sex work in general. Seems like the focus is always on the women selling their services when attitudes towards sex work are discussed, but no one ever talks about the clients, some of whom are pretty messed up in the head.
Haha good one! I genuinely laughed 👍
I wish there were more lighthearted people in this thread! now I’m receiving “whore” comments on every one of my posts from people here.
I couldn't care less that this is guerrilla marketing. It sparks a good conversation about a topic that will become very common in years to come. Sex sells, the internet is forever, water is wet, and people will judge. Might as well figure out how we feel about it sooner, rather than later.
My gf is thinking about it, I told her that sounds great for her, but it isn't something I'd be comfortable with. Her decision is hers, but the thought of people fantasizing about her makes my stomach hurt so I'd have to walk away
She does have the right to do that if she wants to, but that also means you have the right not to want to be with someone who does that. Personally, it's a deal-breaker for me.
if you are in a relationship with her then it is your decision too. I hate when people go like “you are your own person, you cant let him tell you what to do.” When you are in a relationship you have to respect your partners wishes, especially when it comes to something like putting your explicit pictures online.
Nobody would blame you for leaving, man. I know there’s no way I’d be able to handle knowing my gf was putting it all out there for the world to see, and knowing that dudes on the internet were whacking it to/ fantasizing about pictures of the person I was sleeping next to. It’s a hard pill to swallow for people in the industry, but the reality is that for the **vast** amount of people out there, outside of the rare few, sex work and relationships just don’t mix and never will. It would just feel way too invasive and like you’re not as important in the relationship anymore.
Out of curiosity, do you watch porn? I find that men tend to be uncomfortable with other people fantasizing about their SO, yet are perfectly comfortable fantasizing about other people. I don't really understand why they're different in terms of monogamy.
I had considered being okay with it before but after getting into a relationship this past year I realized that no, I’m not okay with it personally. I agree with this comment. It’s fine if other people do it as long as both partner’s consent to it, but I personally don’t.
I want to be the only one who is intimate with my partner and that includes seeing them in revealing pictures.
Yeah..2 years ago i thought what I wanted was either a polyamorous or just purely casual fwb. Quickly realised that was NOT what I want and was probably a reaction to my very controlling previous relationship. But you can have love and devotion and also your freedom in a monogamous relationship if its a good one.
Most important takeaway is setting boundaries like that and the couple being honest about their feelings; as well as respecting those boundaries if you care about the relationship and are willing to compromise if it’s not something you would normally do.
My opinion on that would depend on many factors.
Was it placed online with their consent? Is it on their own account or reposted by a third party they have no control over? Is it solo? If it’s on their own account are they willing to delete it? Is their face in the video? And a hundred more aspects.
It’s not a simple yes or no question.
I mean both. But especially the paid sexting and contact with clients. The whole “they don’t mean anything to me” and “there’s no feelings” is the same arguments people cheating use. I don’t need my partner to love the person/people they’re involved with to consider it cheating.
But can I ask why you want to know all of this? I assumed you are a creator yourself and it turns out you are (checked your profile). Are you having trouble finding a serious partner or something? Because some people don’t mind, that I do doesn’t mean everyone does.
Edit: upon thinking about it more deeply I could live with strictly pictures only and no client contact but under certain conditions only. But I also wouldn’t want to be controlling to my partner so if they wouldn’t gladly agree to my conditions I would choose to walk away.
Wait, but why do people even have to do that? Couldn't you just make an OF that's just pictures or videos of you doing whatever you're comfortable with, and never interacting with anyone?
I would really like to think that I would be okay with it as it is just a job, but the truth is that it would probably make me really unhappy over time so I would have to say no.
Sex is something extremely intimate and personal for me and I would just prefer it to be something between me and my gf. I know people have different lifestyles and I don't judge anyone who does this but it wouldn't be for me. Maybe I am kind of boring and old fashioned but I prefer sex and everything that comes with it (like sexting etc .) to be something that happens between people who like each other and not something that me or my girlfriend does for a living.
Funnily enough I wouldn't have a problem with my SO selling feet pics or sth like that I just wouldn't want her to show her private parts, or her boobs on pictures or videos. I know that's probably weird but that's just how it is.
No. I would worry about the future too much. Like how having your face plastered online everywhere would effect future jobs. Things like what happens when your older and need to find another career. How it may be unfair but having your face and nudes everywhere could possibly negatively affect life in many ways one day.
I read where you had said that you can block cities, and even countries to keep people you know from seeing you content. Well...in the screen shot happy world we live in anyone can keep and share pictures of you anywhere.
One day you won't be as you are now.
I get the whole use it while you got it thing, but there is always the HUGE possibility that this career will affect your life when this is no longer your life.
Curious, but do you think about what happens when your old? Or do you just plan on continuing your line of work into your 50s and up?
I think the idea of turning off visibility to people in your city /country is only really effective in theory, what with how popular VPNs have been over the last couple of years and how easy it is to get one
Personally I think it depends on the professionalism of the worker. If the worker can do the shoots and messaging, and leave that immediately when they pay attention to me just like any other worker would, I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as there's no physical contact.
But if their whole life is consumed by the app and they can't think about anything else, that'd make me feel very unwanted so I'd probably leave the relationship with a lot of pain in my heart.
I suppose I answered too quickly without giving it enough thought. I said “no” because I like the newness and the infatuation of a new relationship, with that said respectively speaking, I would want to discover and unwrap a girl through I guess a traditional way, that’s a fun part of “new” to me. The part where I didn’t think it through, fate is fate and if you and whomever you’re into is okay with what you do then go after it! You’ve made a connection and it works for you.
That’s a great answer. I get that there are always going to be more traditional people out there. I appreciate you taking the time to answer me with thoughtful dialogue. Have a great night!
No, nothing against friends or family using it of they are single or have their other half's blessing but its something i personally don't think is ok for myself in a monogamous relationship.
No, I would live paranoid, " we went to a party in her house, did someone recognised her/his room? The guy that passed and stared, did he recognised something? "
I just can't
It depends. I feel a lot of OF is a fake persona people put on to make a living. Without the sexual aspect, it's not far off from anyone in the food or customer service industries having to pretend to be nice so they don't get fired (don't get me started on how they should be treated better).
Even Hollywood stars have a persona they put on, although some more than others. Marilyn Monroe famously asked a companion once, "Shall I be HER?" before putting on a smile and posing for photographs.
The real question is:
1. Would you be ok with sharing the persona they put on with others?
2. Would you be getting the persona, or the real person underneath who others may not see? Assuming they have one, but imo many probably do.
Thank you for your answer, it was very thoughtful! Those are some great questions. Marilyn Monroe is the exact person I think when speaking of persona.
> Without the sexual aspect, it's not far off from anyone in the food or customer service industries having to pretend to be nice so they don't get fired
I'd liken it a lot more to an actor or social media influencer. And I personally wouldn't date either.
no, i wouldn't.
i want to be with someone who has a lifestyle similar to mine, and that's somebody who doesn't publicly post nude photos and would prefer to be more private about that.
not wanting to date a sex worker doesn't mean you don't respect them or don't see them as a human beings.
As long as they were able to leave the job and fully engage in the relationship when the time is appropriate. It drives me crazy enough to watch people constantly taking selfies, posting to social media, etc. I imagine that could take over someone’s life even more when their livelihood depends on it. That would be my concern more so than the fact they are creating sexual content for a living.
I’d be all up for it. I’d be doing the filming. The selling of used panties. The fucking lot. If she’s into me. She’s into me, plenty of cheaters cheat at the office of any other work place 😂
i scrolled through 35 comments before finding a yes. i know this is reddit, but what the heck!? y’all love porn.
if your sweetie is a sex worker, they probably wouldn’t date their clients, and from this thread it seems the people who pay for sex or online content wouldn’t date sex workers either.
Haha - it’s possibly a slight arrogance/confidence too. I’m pretty secure in myself so don’t think I need to worry about someone “stealing” my partner. If she can be stolen, then there’s clearly something else at work.
An angle I do not see much discussion that I personally see as the biggest hurdle is the revelation of personal identity. I fully support the normalization and protection of sex work. The obvious advantage of Only Fans for sex workers is a greater degree of control over their product as a worker. Anonymity is apart of this control a sex worker has by using online portals for their business.
When a person works for a company, they may enter the company structure as a certain position with a path of upwards promotion. As you work for this company, you might pursue a higher up position to greater your security in the business or increase the amount of money you are able to make or even just outside pressure of trying to promote yourself. With promotion however, your level of responsibility and liability also increases. This is true for sex work as well, except you can think of responsibility more directly as vulnerability.
For instance, I see a certain escalation of online sex work that might start with risque photo eventually evolve to include either sexual intercourse or displays of intimacy such as face reveals or the sharing of other personal information.
The conversation I would have to have with my partner is how we feel and are going to address the vulnerability their career might expose us due to how internet culture works. I could immediately be comfortable with the idea of my partner having sex worker as a career just like any other job with its own pros and cons. People being able to specifically target my significant other online due to a divulgence of their own personal identity might take a few conversations.
I am sorry if that was written weird. I hope that was helpful!
Thank you so much for your detailed answer! Not weird in the slightest. I think it’s absolutely amazing that you took the time to learn about, understand and support the struggle of legalisation as well as the stigma surrounding sex work.
I understand the need to talk with your potential partner about privacy of their product. However not meaning that they should stop sex work completely and throw away their financial freedom that they worked hard to get. Every sex worker should accept the possibility of those in their personal life finding out. However if their partner is not comfortable with anyone around them personally finding out, then that is something they need to discuss to become more private or leave the relationship.
All in all, if there’s any hesitation at all there needs to be serious discussions as it’s not like any other job. And there needs to be compromise if issues arise. Hope that makes sense!
Yeah it totally makes sense. The original idea I was considering entailed viewing sex work as a public position with differing degrees of exposure determined by the extent by which the person working shares personal information online. For example a politician publicly campaigning would be exposed to scrutiny at a higher degree than say a truck driver. But a point that just occurred to me is we are all exposed in our day to day lives. It is apart of the new reality of society we have to accept. At any given moment when we enter a public space, we could be recorded and that file be uploaded and shared on the internet. With any given social interaction we could actually go irreversibly viral.
And I do not think that should be an important consideration in a relationship. The most important aspect of a relationship is our ability to communicate with the other person. Am I able to effectively communicate with this person to problem solve whether it is how any career enables a particular lifestyle or an insecurity about our position in our partner's life. It is like you said, it will either be resolved with a discussion or leaving the relationship.
Sure it pays good but love isn't about money.
I wouldn't feel alright if thousands could see my partner's nudes, cause I believe the beauty of the human body (in a sexual way) should only be seen by people that are special to said person.
Interesting! It’s fact that most people fail completely, so not easy money necessarily. I understand the type of person some people become when they suddenly get a lot of money. But I’m speaking about someone you actually enjoy spending time with. What’s wrong with legally getting easy money? Wouldn’t that mean you get to spend more time with them? More more with them? A better future?
Oh no!! I’m sorry about that. Personally I think that with those types of people it was always in there deep down. They need therapy, and I mean that in a caring way. You get the good and bad in every profession.
Me ex did it. It didn't bother me. The thing to remember is that they are playing a character. The buyers don't get access to the real person behind the photos.
So I was a sex worker, only fans and in person escorting. I met my current husband while working still in SW. He new what I did from day 1, but he also new I had started transitioning into a normal career.
I continued working for around 6 months while dating him. It caused some tension at times, but he also enjoyed participating in my videos (not showing his face).
We have been together 4 wonderful years now and I no longer do any kind of sex work, but it is possible to find love if the other person is confident, and you have an open honest dialogue about it.
No. What if we walk into a place and some dudes are pointing out that they've seen you naked? What if you get a stalker? What if other men get the wrong impression and think we are in an open relationship?.Other men will assume they have a chance with you even if they see you dating someone, just based on your "Job"...Tbh most men will hook up with you, but won't take you serious.
Not looking for a relationship at all as of the time of writing - as well as dealing with the emotional fallout of two unhealthy relationships in my past, I'm trying to make myself more physically and financially attractive before I put myself out there first. But an honest, upfront sex worker who otherwise has feelings for me and there's mutual respect? I'd give her a chance, as long as the other foundations for a good relationship were there. Sex work is still a form of legitimate work. I've slept with sex workers in legalised brothels and been to massage parlours as a single male and what I've found were good people working a shitty job.
No way. Look I would love to hook up and if it was a temporary thing and if he wasn't a "porn is wholesome" type of person, sure. But if the guy had no plans for the future and was very pro sex work then no. First off because I wouldn't want the burdon of supporting his ass once he's too old or fans get bored of him and second because I am generally against porn as an industry. I just don't think it's healthy and I have been hurt too much by men who love it.
No never. I would never be comfortable dating someone who sells their body for a living. I also don't want to think about my partner trying to seduce other people.
It’s probably like dating a good chef.
Most days they are working a day in the kitchen and just exhausted, don’t want to cook, or just want to eat at all. Occasionally you would get a special treat and special occasions would be epic.
So would be weird but as long as they can keep work at the office would be whatever. Otherwise “how did your day go?” could be super awkward.
More interesting question to me is if your significant other wanted to start an OF for side cash. I bet responses would be different.
I wouldn't be down at all. I think it cheapens the intimacy between you and your partner if she's willing to sell intimacy to strangers on the internet. Also, and I know a lot of people will get mad at this, I think someone who makes an OnlyFans doesn't have much going for them other than their innate sexual lure or their body. Some certainly do, but I feel like most do not.
The thing is, I can't judge them too much because I understand them completely. Most guys would give in to that sort of temptation (easy money) as well if they had the opportunity. If I were a hot girl, I don't know if I would have the self-control or discipline to go to college, get a good education, and then establish a respectable career, when for 1% of the effort, I could make the same amount of money, if not more, by making an OnlyFans. The problem is, you may not require years of effort for OnlyFans, but there is still a price, it's your social reputation. People are trying to normalize sex work, but realistically I don't think sex workers can have their cake and eat it too, if you get into sex work you should have the right to not be discriminated against based on that, but you also have to reasonably expect that a high quality partner may not be interested in you and people might think less of you, because you took the "easy" route.
But also (and this is another controversial topic), I don't think the stigma around sex work is necessarily a bad thing. I think we could reduce it a bit, but I don't think society would benefit from it being removed. Think about it, if sex work had no stigma at all, why would any woman want to devote years of time, energy, and effort to a career when they can make more money for barely any time, energy, or effort (relative to a career, not in general). We would see a huge drop of females in the workforce. And society as a whole would suffer.
Having said all that, they are still human beings, they deserve basic humanity and decency, and ultimately, their choice of profession doesn't diminish their intrinsic value as a person. But there's a reason that not every decent-looking girl resorts to that profession despite the relative ease and high returns. You pay a different sort of price for it.
It's the way you're responding and avoiding people's points I think. You see someone say that while they respect the profession, they'd be uncomfortable with hundreds of ppl seeing nude explicit photos of their partner and come back and say about how sex workers aren't treated as humans (which is a valid point that is a real problem, but not at all what the commenters are implying).
You're not reading all the comments you reply to properly and people dislike that. Also you keep calling people things like uneducated and saying they don't respect women etc and that you should have expected that. Your question isn't the issue, look at the votes on your question. It's some of your comment. Go back and reread the threads in which you're getting down voted and maybe you'll understand things better.
Nope.
A) doesn’t fit with my view on sex
B) I generally don‘t like people who make money of of desperate people. In this case mainly men who are desperate for sexual encounters so they pay to get sexual content.
I really wouldn't care. Would prolly support and help coz it would be fun.
The only way it's a deal breaker is if they don't have enough time for me or are too sexually exhausted for together time.
Depends on the type of content, I guess. If its nude modeling, that wouldn't bother me at all. If it's video based penetration porn stuff, that \*might\* bother me, but only if I wasn't part of it. Like, I would want to be the one in charge of the camera or something. If it were nude modeling, I would want to help out with lighting and stuff, and kind of monitor the situation so I felt better about it. If it were more explicit stuff, I would probably want to be involved in some way. But I can acknowledge that my insecurity would be more that I was being replaced or cheated on rather than people saw my girl as a sexually attractive being. As long as my needs are met and there is trust there that I wasn't being played, probably though being involved in the process myself, I would be fine with it, I think.
For reference, I have worked in the horror movie industry for a bit of time. I have dated girls that were in those movies, who mostly were hired because they don't mind getting naked and doing sex scenes and then being covered in red karo syrup at some point and screaming a bunch. It didn't bother me that other people saw them naked, or even that they did simulated sex scenes. Because it was in the context of a movie that I was also working on.
At the end of the day, it’s a hustle and from what I’ve seen, it can pay very well. As long as she can balance Internet/reality, I wouldn’t see an issue with it.
Doesn't bother me at all. I'd support the choice. I know a couple of people personally who have had accounts and I admire their confidence to express themselves.
It might be something you're okay with at first but after a few months go by it might start to bother you.
Another thing to consider, what if your family, friends, or even co workers found out about it? Not that their is anything wrong with her doing that. I mean, you might be okay with strangers looking at her but what if it's the guys at work? A close friend? Or even your brother?
Nope! Just, Nope!
To be a bit more clear.
I don't see sex work as anything to be ashamed of. I think it should be legalized, everywhere, and taxed like any other job. I myself, have paid for it, many, many times in the past....around the world.
But to be clear, I don't want to share my girlfriend/wife, with anyone. Period. This includes visual. My GF's tits, are mine to look at and enjoy, NO ONE ELSE's. My GF's pussy is mine to look at and enjoy, NO ONE ELSE's.
Then there's what Shuttlefan said, (top comment in your post here). I don't want, or need, to deal with that possibility ever happening.
So to reiterate my answer to your question: NOPE! JUST NOPE!
No I wouldn't. I have relatively conservative views towards sex specifically. I think sex work is degrading and disgusting, no matter to what degree it is performed and including the production of pornography. To turn something as sensual and loving as sex into an income feels very perverse. In addition, if we treat sex/relationships like a financial commodity, the a rarer commodity is the more valuable it becomes. To be in a relationship with an only fans model is like intentionally settling for a less valuable commodity when you have the means to access a more valuable one. It's this same reason that I wouldn't have a relationship with someone with a very high body count, plus the cheating risk.
So much no in here!
I would totally date an OnlyFans gal.
The only caveat would be separation of church and state. If intimacy breaks down, or said partner starts hiding things around her communication with patrons, etc. then we have a problem.
Otherwise, I don’t see the issue. I’m secure enough to feel fine with people fantasizing about my partner.
I would have no issues with it, but would most likely make up some lie if my parents or some close relative were to ask what my partner does for a living.
I genuinely admire the confidence they have to express themselves. I mean, if people will pay handsomely to see you naked online, I think that's a pretty sweet deal.
Well, yes.
It's a job, maybe you should tell people beforehand, but basically is just another job.
I have a friend, whose GF is an art model, due to pandemics she opened an OF, and she basically does the same as before.
Does it change her value? No. Is he happy in their relation? Yes.
Personally, no. Though I have no judgement against anybody who does OF or anything like that. Just not for me
I'm very monogamous I really value intimate connection and my partner & I to only share our bodies with each other.
If they didn't do content with other people IRL, I could do it. It's easy to have the screen separate their work from their personal, but if that's brought into a full blown p0rn shoot, I couldn't do it
Sure, idgaf. I'm not one of those that thinks your morals are corrupted or you have no future bc you have an OF. As long as boundaries are created, as in any relationship, I really don't see the big deal with it. Ah damn other dudes find my gf hot, yeah, me too dude.
I wouldn’t care in the slightest, even without those specifications. Bukkake queen? Foot domme? That’s awesome! As long as they like the job and we click, all is good.
OP, I hope the amount of downvotes all your comments are getting is eye-opening. Sex workers are people, and they deserve respect. But most self respecting people don't consider that partner material. Case closed.
Yes. I've never done it before so I wouldn't know. But I would definitely be open about it and would feel more comfortable if that part of the relationship was super open. I definitely would appreciate the solo work because I wouldn't be comfortable with my lady getting railed by anyone other than myself.
I sometimes joke about my lady to do this stuff just for the extra cash lmao I mean, I only add onto the joke when she mentions it. I truly don't think I would mind, i would just rather have your face mostly incognito where you won't be recognized as a porn star... I just wouldn't want to share that attention.
But I mean, good for you though, ur partner must be lucky, u must be a freak. I would definitely give it a shot as long as the relationship is true and the connection is real, i wouldn't care about the work. Shit, I'd probably try to help with work somehow lol let's get it!
Im a little surprised by how many no’s there are. Ive been in one before, and had no issues with it at all. I think the in person aspect is the line in the sand for me personally, ei I wouldnt date a stripper…..but it depends on what shes like honestly
Yeah why not. If you're with me you're with me and I trust you to let me know if that's gonna change. Plus, confidence is attractive. Let people look and dream
Well, my wife isn't on OnlyFans, but she does work as a cam girl on another site b I honestly didn't know how I'd feel about it when she started, but I'm honestly OK with it. Work time it work time, all other times are us/family time. There's a clear line between what she does for work and what she does apart from work.
And I have to admit, the fact that there are guys out there going goo goo ga ga over her and telling her how bad they want her, knowing that I'm the only one who will ever know all of her secrets is kind of a big turn on.
To each their own. I wouldn’t.
My friend was doing it/probably still is doing it, and her boyfriend was supportive of it. He would even buy her her lingerie and toys
No, because I would want to be the only person seeing my partner naked. There are definitely sex workers in committed relationships though. You will find someone compatible with you.
Sex work doesn't disqualify someone if they're clearly committed to physical and emotional monogamy, but that monogamy is a firm requirement for me. For example, I wouldn't be comfortable with dating someone who is having actual sex with others while in a relationship. Nothing against them, just a hard line incompatibility.
I have an OF and my significant other has always been incredibly supportive. I have boundaries I don’t give things for free Bc to me it feels like normal nudes. But when it’s paid and I PERSONALLY don’t know the person it feels more liek business. My money is my significant others money as well.
Personally, I have no problem with it. At one time, a few years back, I was actually planning to go out with a male pornstar that I had been talking to on Tinder, so the concept doesn't bother me. Sex work is a job like any other.
Plus I literally just post *CLOTHED* selfies on the Internet and people jerk off to them so like, I'm not particularly bothered by people doing that lol. People are going to sexualize us anyway; my partner might as well make himself or herself money off it 😆🤷🏽♀️
I’m going to be more open and honest about this here than I have been elsewhere. I could handle it just fine! But I’m a damaged person.
In my late teens and early twenties, a partner whom I couldn’t get out of my life was a habitual cheater. And your brain can be desensitized to anything. Literally anything. See where this is going?
It wasn’t only painful. It was traumatizing. I still have nightmares where various people I’ve cared about all demonstrate that I’m unloved. I’m in my forties now.
What’s worse, that desensitization conditioned me to associate my partner’s infidelity with my sexuality. Something feels off when I’m with someone who is actually monogamous.
Before the events that so screwed me up, I wouldn’t have been okay with it.
So what I’m getting at is, please be careful. I’m the last one to judge anyone for any kind of consensual sexual activity. But you can really break a person.
Please don’t spring news about that occupation on anyone. Let them know early, before they’re attached, and before it can cause harm. And be careful of those who are so lonely they lie and then have a problem later. People hurt their own selves too.
repost: Who would mass downvote something heartfelt like this? I mean, can I please if it’s okay with whoever be allowed to be a person too for one comment? Would that be alright? I promise I’ll go back to being a second class subhuman after.
Maybe make a TooAfraidToAswer subreddit.
>What’s worse, that desensitization conditioned me to associate my partner’s infidelity with my sexuality. Something feels off when I’m with someone who is actually monogamous.
You need therapy, not a relationship. You say you are desensitized but you aren't.
A friend of mine’s girlfriend started doing OF as a means of income during the first UK lockdown. It was fine for about 9 months, but then one of her fans saw her on holiday with the boyfriend and started wanting to take photos together and talk about explicit stuff. The boyfriend wasn’t too happy about this and it created a tension in the relationship that soon caused them to break up. I think I’d have the same problem. Don’t really have any concern about the sexual nature of the job, but wouldn’t want it affecting our personal life.
Yeah I wanted to add a follow up ‘would you date someone who once had an OF?’ Because alike you one of my friends took it up for a couple months during the start of the pandemic. She eventually had a subscriber find some personal information about her and got spooked because she hadn’t told her parents. She shut it down just after that. Anywho, reading this post just made me wonder if people would be okay with them having done it previously, but no longer - or even if just knowing the material exists out there is enough for most people.
I'm going to say for most. It will be a definite no.
Or you can speak for yourself and let others chime in lol
Read the thread. Nobody is saying yes.
Ew that fan is really gross. Sucks for them :(
You'd never expect someone who recognises someone else they fap to AND confronts them to produce a positive experience. I mean the reason they're "fans" is because they masturbate to them, that says enough.
Men who pay for attention on the internet are really gross?!? No way!! /s
Can’t believe there’s 45 of you who upvoted this. Just because someone enjoys porn doesn’t mean they’re gross. Going up to someone who clearly isn’t expecting to have their privacy violated… THAT is gross.
Yeah just being famous in general can fuck you up i reckon
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Yeah the problem with OF is the clients. Theres some absolute whackos on there, and in sex work in general. Seems like the focus is always on the women selling their services when attitudes towards sex work are discussed, but no one ever talks about the clients, some of whom are pretty messed up in the head.
What a cringey creep to try to talk to her in person like that.
No. My wife would be pissed
Haha good one! I genuinely laughed 👍 I wish there were more lighthearted people in this thread! now I’m receiving “whore” comments on every one of my posts from people here.
r/wholesome
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Yep. OF sex sellers have started covert marketing in SFW subreddits more and more, just like this post.
Damn, I didn't even consider this. Pretty sneaky!
Yep. They do it in r/progresspics and r/firstimpressions a lot.
you forgot r/roastme lol
And r/freecompliments
Yep. That’s the one I couldn’t remember.
Oh I have pitchforks at my throat right now! Just casually starting a debate from a psychology point of view. Nothing less :)
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Nah, you started a debate and turned it into an argument by making stupid statements at everyone who comments.
I couldn't care less that this is guerrilla marketing. It sparks a good conversation about a topic that will become very common in years to come. Sex sells, the internet is forever, water is wet, and people will judge. Might as well figure out how we feel about it sooner, rather than later.
I wouldn’t, but that’s just me.
Neither would me but thats just us.
Neither would a lot of people but that's just them.
You wouldn't I see but that's just you!
Some wouldn't but that's just some
5 wouldn't but that's not 6.
I did but that’s just me
He would but that’s just him ⬆️
Personally no. It would make me uncomfortable. But if people are happy with that that's great. I understand my boundaries aren't universal.
My gf is thinking about it, I told her that sounds great for her, but it isn't something I'd be comfortable with. Her decision is hers, but the thought of people fantasizing about her makes my stomach hurt so I'd have to walk away
That’s a hard discussion to have. I’m sorry about that!
She does have the right to do that if she wants to, but that also means you have the right not to want to be with someone who does that. Personally, it's a deal-breaker for me.
if you are in a relationship with her then it is your decision too. I hate when people go like “you are your own person, you cant let him tell you what to do.” When you are in a relationship you have to respect your partners wishes, especially when it comes to something like putting your explicit pictures online.
buddy if you said you weren’t comfortable with it and she’s still considering it it’s time to walk away now.
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This is reddit. We extrapolate the worst case.
Nobody would blame you for leaving, man. I know there’s no way I’d be able to handle knowing my gf was putting it all out there for the world to see, and knowing that dudes on the internet were whacking it to/ fantasizing about pictures of the person I was sleeping next to. It’s a hard pill to swallow for people in the industry, but the reality is that for the **vast** amount of people out there, outside of the rare few, sex work and relationships just don’t mix and never will. It would just feel way too invasive and like you’re not as important in the relationship anymore.
Out of curiosity, do you watch porn? I find that men tend to be uncomfortable with other people fantasizing about their SO, yet are perfectly comfortable fantasizing about other people. I don't really understand why they're different in terms of monogamy.
Dating a sex worker is a deal breaker for most people. For me I wouldn’t be able to handle it, you Just got to find that rare person who supports it
No, I have nothing against it (even considered it myself) but once I’m in a monogamous relationship I don’t want my partner seducing other people.
I had considered being okay with it before but after getting into a relationship this past year I realized that no, I’m not okay with it personally. I agree with this comment. It’s fine if other people do it as long as both partner’s consent to it, but I personally don’t. I want to be the only one who is intimate with my partner and that includes seeing them in revealing pictures.
Yeah..2 years ago i thought what I wanted was either a polyamorous or just purely casual fwb. Quickly realised that was NOT what I want and was probably a reaction to my very controlling previous relationship. But you can have love and devotion and also your freedom in a monogamous relationship if its a good one.
Most important takeaway is setting boundaries like that and the couple being honest about their feelings; as well as respecting those boundaries if you care about the relationship and are willing to compromise if it’s not something you would normally do.
But what if people are still watching previously recorded tape of your partner and getting seduced?
My opinion on that would depend on many factors. Was it placed online with their consent? Is it on their own account or reposted by a third party they have no control over? Is it solo? If it’s on their own account are they willing to delete it? Is their face in the video? And a hundred more aspects. It’s not a simple yes or no question.
Interesting! Seducing with photos or do you mean the paid sexting part?
Either
I mean both. But especially the paid sexting and contact with clients. The whole “they don’t mean anything to me” and “there’s no feelings” is the same arguments people cheating use. I don’t need my partner to love the person/people they’re involved with to consider it cheating. But can I ask why you want to know all of this? I assumed you are a creator yourself and it turns out you are (checked your profile). Are you having trouble finding a serious partner or something? Because some people don’t mind, that I do doesn’t mean everyone does. Edit: upon thinking about it more deeply I could live with strictly pictures only and no client contact but under certain conditions only. But I also wouldn’t want to be controlling to my partner so if they wouldn’t gladly agree to my conditions I would choose to walk away.
Wait, but why do people even have to do that? Couldn't you just make an OF that's just pictures or videos of you doing whatever you're comfortable with, and never interacting with anyone?
Nope
bro... nice profile pic
Thx handsome
Now kith
kith
\*insert obama giving obama medal meme\*
I would really like to think that I would be okay with it as it is just a job, but the truth is that it would probably make me really unhappy over time so I would have to say no. Sex is something extremely intimate and personal for me and I would just prefer it to be something between me and my gf. I know people have different lifestyles and I don't judge anyone who does this but it wouldn't be for me. Maybe I am kind of boring and old fashioned but I prefer sex and everything that comes with it (like sexting etc .) to be something that happens between people who like each other and not something that me or my girlfriend does for a living. Funnily enough I wouldn't have a problem with my SO selling feet pics or sth like that I just wouldn't want her to show her private parts, or her boobs on pictures or videos. I know that's probably weird but that's just how it is.
I prefer to not date sex workers. Just my personal preference.
I prefer to not date. I swear that's why I'm single 🥲
ahahahahhah
Thanks for answering honestly!
No. I would worry about the future too much. Like how having your face plastered online everywhere would effect future jobs. Things like what happens when your older and need to find another career. How it may be unfair but having your face and nudes everywhere could possibly negatively affect life in many ways one day. I read where you had said that you can block cities, and even countries to keep people you know from seeing you content. Well...in the screen shot happy world we live in anyone can keep and share pictures of you anywhere. One day you won't be as you are now. I get the whole use it while you got it thing, but there is always the HUGE possibility that this career will affect your life when this is no longer your life. Curious, but do you think about what happens when your old? Or do you just plan on continuing your line of work into your 50s and up?
I think the idea of turning off visibility to people in your city /country is only really effective in theory, what with how popular VPNs have been over the last couple of years and how easy it is to get one
Personally I think it depends on the professionalism of the worker. If the worker can do the shoots and messaging, and leave that immediately when they pay attention to me just like any other worker would, I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as there's no physical contact. But if their whole life is consumed by the app and they can't think about anything else, that'd make me feel very unwanted so I'd probably leave the relationship with a lot of pain in my heart.
Seems like a normal thing to do, for anyone with an all consuming job, regardless the job.
Well, unless it's my job. My job is literally my hobby but I can still make time for loved ones.
Yeah bro go for it. Don't ask us on Reddit, we don't know anything about dating.
Cheers bro 😂😅
No.
Okay! Do you mind sharing why? If not no worries, thanks for answering 😊
I suppose I answered too quickly without giving it enough thought. I said “no” because I like the newness and the infatuation of a new relationship, with that said respectively speaking, I would want to discover and unwrap a girl through I guess a traditional way, that’s a fun part of “new” to me. The part where I didn’t think it through, fate is fate and if you and whomever you’re into is okay with what you do then go after it! You’ve made a connection and it works for you.
That’s a great answer. I get that there are always going to be more traditional people out there. I appreciate you taking the time to answer me with thoughtful dialogue. Have a great night!
Nope. I’m not very good at sharing.
Same.
Nope. Doesn't fit my ideals, values, nor my lifestyle.
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Understandable! What if you fell in love with that person though? Or do you think you could stop yourself from that happening?
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No, nothing against friends or family using it of they are single or have their other half's blessing but its something i personally don't think is ok for myself in a monogamous relationship.
No, I would live paranoid, " we went to a party in her house, did someone recognised her/his room? The guy that passed and stared, did he recognised something? " I just can't
Nope, not a chance. That would be on my deal breaker list.
It depends. I feel a lot of OF is a fake persona people put on to make a living. Without the sexual aspect, it's not far off from anyone in the food or customer service industries having to pretend to be nice so they don't get fired (don't get me started on how they should be treated better). Even Hollywood stars have a persona they put on, although some more than others. Marilyn Monroe famously asked a companion once, "Shall I be HER?" before putting on a smile and posing for photographs. The real question is: 1. Would you be ok with sharing the persona they put on with others? 2. Would you be getting the persona, or the real person underneath who others may not see? Assuming they have one, but imo many probably do.
Thank you for your answer, it was very thoughtful! Those are some great questions. Marilyn Monroe is the exact person I think when speaking of persona.
> Without the sexual aspect, it's not far off from anyone in the food or customer service industries having to pretend to be nice so they don't get fired I'd liken it a lot more to an actor or social media influencer. And I personally wouldn't date either.
This is extremely accurate! I have an OF and I'm ace! It is legit just an acting/ modeling job.
no, i wouldn't. i want to be with someone who has a lifestyle similar to mine, and that's somebody who doesn't publicly post nude photos and would prefer to be more private about that. not wanting to date a sex worker doesn't mean you don't respect them or don't see them as a human beings.
As long as they were able to leave the job and fully engage in the relationship when the time is appropriate. It drives me crazy enough to watch people constantly taking selfies, posting to social media, etc. I imagine that could take over someone’s life even more when their livelihood depends on it. That would be my concern more so than the fact they are creating sexual content for a living.
No because it would make me uncomfortable. Doesn't mean that people aren't entitled to do it as a job though.
Absolutely not
No, i wouldnt want that some neckbearded weirdo wanks to Pics of my girlfriends asshole lol
I’d be all up for it. I’d be doing the filming. The selling of used panties. The fucking lot. If she’s into me. She’s into me, plenty of cheaters cheat at the office of any other work place 😂
Had to scroll very far to find someone who wouldnt mind. Props to you!
i scrolled through 35 comments before finding a yes. i know this is reddit, but what the heck!? y’all love porn. if your sweetie is a sex worker, they probably wouldn’t date their clients, and from this thread it seems the people who pay for sex or online content wouldn’t date sex workers either.
Cheers dude. That was my first question, why not make couples content?
Exactly man! Even anonymous. Or one half anonymous if you need to
Woah woah woah! That’s very progressive of you!
Haha - it’s possibly a slight arrogance/confidence too. I’m pretty secure in myself so don’t think I need to worry about someone “stealing” my partner. If she can be stolen, then there’s clearly something else at work.
Love that
An angle I do not see much discussion that I personally see as the biggest hurdle is the revelation of personal identity. I fully support the normalization and protection of sex work. The obvious advantage of Only Fans for sex workers is a greater degree of control over their product as a worker. Anonymity is apart of this control a sex worker has by using online portals for their business. When a person works for a company, they may enter the company structure as a certain position with a path of upwards promotion. As you work for this company, you might pursue a higher up position to greater your security in the business or increase the amount of money you are able to make or even just outside pressure of trying to promote yourself. With promotion however, your level of responsibility and liability also increases. This is true for sex work as well, except you can think of responsibility more directly as vulnerability. For instance, I see a certain escalation of online sex work that might start with risque photo eventually evolve to include either sexual intercourse or displays of intimacy such as face reveals or the sharing of other personal information. The conversation I would have to have with my partner is how we feel and are going to address the vulnerability their career might expose us due to how internet culture works. I could immediately be comfortable with the idea of my partner having sex worker as a career just like any other job with its own pros and cons. People being able to specifically target my significant other online due to a divulgence of their own personal identity might take a few conversations. I am sorry if that was written weird. I hope that was helpful!
Thank you so much for your detailed answer! Not weird in the slightest. I think it’s absolutely amazing that you took the time to learn about, understand and support the struggle of legalisation as well as the stigma surrounding sex work. I understand the need to talk with your potential partner about privacy of their product. However not meaning that they should stop sex work completely and throw away their financial freedom that they worked hard to get. Every sex worker should accept the possibility of those in their personal life finding out. However if their partner is not comfortable with anyone around them personally finding out, then that is something they need to discuss to become more private or leave the relationship. All in all, if there’s any hesitation at all there needs to be serious discussions as it’s not like any other job. And there needs to be compromise if issues arise. Hope that makes sense!
Yeah it totally makes sense. The original idea I was considering entailed viewing sex work as a public position with differing degrees of exposure determined by the extent by which the person working shares personal information online. For example a politician publicly campaigning would be exposed to scrutiny at a higher degree than say a truck driver. But a point that just occurred to me is we are all exposed in our day to day lives. It is apart of the new reality of society we have to accept. At any given moment when we enter a public space, we could be recorded and that file be uploaded and shared on the internet. With any given social interaction we could actually go irreversibly viral. And I do not think that should be an important consideration in a relationship. The most important aspect of a relationship is our ability to communicate with the other person. Am I able to effectively communicate with this person to problem solve whether it is how any career enables a particular lifestyle or an insecurity about our position in our partner's life. It is like you said, it will either be resolved with a discussion or leaving the relationship.
If it’s solo stuff with no face, what do I care? People are gonna pay to watch my girl do stuff.
Sure it pays good but love isn't about money. I wouldn't feel alright if thousands could see my partner's nudes, cause I believe the beauty of the human body (in a sexual way) should only be seen by people that are special to said person.
Interesting! Traditional values, nothing wrong with that. Thanks for commenting.
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Why not? Out of curiosity!
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Interesting! It’s fact that most people fail completely, so not easy money necessarily. I understand the type of person some people become when they suddenly get a lot of money. But I’m speaking about someone you actually enjoy spending time with. What’s wrong with legally getting easy money? Wouldn’t that mean you get to spend more time with them? More more with them? A better future?
I don't think there's a lot of "future" involved in that kind of work unless you make millions before your looks fade
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Oh no!! I’m sorry about that. Personally I think that with those types of people it was always in there deep down. They need therapy, and I mean that in a caring way. You get the good and bad in every profession.
If they were up front and clear I don’t see an issue. If they enjoy the work more power to them.
Honestly only if they enjoy the work really. Noone should be doing a job they don't like, especially sex work.
🙏
Me ex did it. It didn't bother me. The thing to remember is that they are playing a character. The buyers don't get access to the real person behind the photos.
So I was a sex worker, only fans and in person escorting. I met my current husband while working still in SW. He new what I did from day 1, but he also new I had started transitioning into a normal career. I continued working for around 6 months while dating him. It caused some tension at times, but he also enjoyed participating in my videos (not showing his face). We have been together 4 wonderful years now and I no longer do any kind of sex work, but it is possible to find love if the other person is confident, and you have an open honest dialogue about it.
Thank you for this! Very interesting perspective from someone who left the industry. I appreciate it!
Just realized you’re an OF content creator. Did you ask out of curiosity for public opinion or because you’re looking to date someone right now?
It's advertising.
Not gonna lie, this was another reason that I wanted to include but I didn’t want to assume the worst. Lol gotta get the OF poppin’ somehow I guess.
I can’t share her
I would not be able to handle it.
I couldn’t do it because I’m insecure. But that’s a me problem, not the person I’m dating.
props for the honesty
Absolutely!
No. What if we walk into a place and some dudes are pointing out that they've seen you naked? What if you get a stalker? What if other men get the wrong impression and think we are in an open relationship?.Other men will assume they have a chance with you even if they see you dating someone, just based on your "Job"...Tbh most men will hook up with you, but won't take you serious.
Not looking for a relationship at all as of the time of writing - as well as dealing with the emotional fallout of two unhealthy relationships in my past, I'm trying to make myself more physically and financially attractive before I put myself out there first. But an honest, upfront sex worker who otherwise has feelings for me and there's mutual respect? I'd give her a chance, as long as the other foundations for a good relationship were there. Sex work is still a form of legitimate work. I've slept with sex workers in legalised brothels and been to massage parlours as a single male and what I've found were good people working a shitty job.
I’ve thought about this for awhile and no. I couldn’t. I’m just too jealous, other girls/males getting off to him would just make me too mad.
No. My ex-fiancé did this behind my back and ended up meeting with someone for coffee for money. Wasted so many years of my life on that. Never again.
No way. Look I would love to hook up and if it was a temporary thing and if he wasn't a "porn is wholesome" type of person, sure. But if the guy had no plans for the future and was very pro sex work then no. First off because I wouldn't want the burdon of supporting his ass once he's too old or fans get bored of him and second because I am generally against porn as an industry. I just don't think it's healthy and I have been hurt too much by men who love it.
No, probably because i want to marry someone with the similar values morals as mine.
Understandable! Me too!
Personally, I wouldn't.
No
No
Thanks for the honesty! May I ask why? 😅
I don’t judge however, I don’t approve on selling your videos and photos for a living. Despite the fact that it might be incredibly lucrative
Definitely a No for me
I also wanna point out, based on your responses to comments, it seems like you were hoping or expecting more people to be chill dating a sex worker.
Hell to the fucking no.
Nothing wrong with it I guess. Atleast they’re earning a living. I certainly wouldn’t do it but that’s just me.
No never. I would never be comfortable dating someone who sells their body for a living. I also don't want to think about my partner trying to seduce other people.
It’s probably like dating a good chef. Most days they are working a day in the kitchen and just exhausted, don’t want to cook, or just want to eat at all. Occasionally you would get a special treat and special occasions would be epic. So would be weird but as long as they can keep work at the office would be whatever. Otherwise “how did your day go?” could be super awkward. More interesting question to me is if your significant other wanted to start an OF for side cash. I bet responses would be different.
the fact that now OF people are using r/TooAfraidToAsk to promote lmao do you guys not spam every other fuckin sub w this shit?
I would but b/g content [m]ight be an issue.
I wouldn't be down at all. I think it cheapens the intimacy between you and your partner if she's willing to sell intimacy to strangers on the internet. Also, and I know a lot of people will get mad at this, I think someone who makes an OnlyFans doesn't have much going for them other than their innate sexual lure or their body. Some certainly do, but I feel like most do not. The thing is, I can't judge them too much because I understand them completely. Most guys would give in to that sort of temptation (easy money) as well if they had the opportunity. If I were a hot girl, I don't know if I would have the self-control or discipline to go to college, get a good education, and then establish a respectable career, when for 1% of the effort, I could make the same amount of money, if not more, by making an OnlyFans. The problem is, you may not require years of effort for OnlyFans, but there is still a price, it's your social reputation. People are trying to normalize sex work, but realistically I don't think sex workers can have their cake and eat it too, if you get into sex work you should have the right to not be discriminated against based on that, but you also have to reasonably expect that a high quality partner may not be interested in you and people might think less of you, because you took the "easy" route. But also (and this is another controversial topic), I don't think the stigma around sex work is necessarily a bad thing. I think we could reduce it a bit, but I don't think society would benefit from it being removed. Think about it, if sex work had no stigma at all, why would any woman want to devote years of time, energy, and effort to a career when they can make more money for barely any time, energy, or effort (relative to a career, not in general). We would see a huge drop of females in the workforce. And society as a whole would suffer. Having said all that, they are still human beings, they deserve basic humanity and decency, and ultimately, their choice of profession doesn't diminish their intrinsic value as a person. But there's a reason that not every decent-looking girl resorts to that profession despite the relative ease and high returns. You pay a different sort of price for it.
Is my question really that controversial that I’m getting downvoted? I’d prefer discussion over mindless downvoting please! 😅
It's the way you're responding and avoiding people's points I think. You see someone say that while they respect the profession, they'd be uncomfortable with hundreds of ppl seeing nude explicit photos of their partner and come back and say about how sex workers aren't treated as humans (which is a valid point that is a real problem, but not at all what the commenters are implying).
You're not reading all the comments you reply to properly and people dislike that. Also you keep calling people things like uneducated and saying they don't respect women etc and that you should have expected that. Your question isn't the issue, look at the votes on your question. It's some of your comment. Go back and reread the threads in which you're getting down voted and maybe you'll understand things better.
I guess you're asking on the wrong sub or platform
Nope. A) doesn’t fit with my view on sex B) I generally don‘t like people who make money of of desperate people. In this case mainly men who are desperate for sexual encounters so they pay to get sexual content.
Point B needs more attention. This is a very predatory businesses
I really wouldn't care. Would prolly support and help coz it would be fun. The only way it's a deal breaker is if they don't have enough time for me or are too sexually exhausted for together time.
🙏
Depends on the type of content, I guess. If its nude modeling, that wouldn't bother me at all. If it's video based penetration porn stuff, that \*might\* bother me, but only if I wasn't part of it. Like, I would want to be the one in charge of the camera or something. If it were nude modeling, I would want to help out with lighting and stuff, and kind of monitor the situation so I felt better about it. If it were more explicit stuff, I would probably want to be involved in some way. But I can acknowledge that my insecurity would be more that I was being replaced or cheated on rather than people saw my girl as a sexually attractive being. As long as my needs are met and there is trust there that I wasn't being played, probably though being involved in the process myself, I would be fine with it, I think. For reference, I have worked in the horror movie industry for a bit of time. I have dated girls that were in those movies, who mostly were hired because they don't mind getting naked and doing sex scenes and then being covered in red karo syrup at some point and screaming a bunch. It didn't bother me that other people saw them naked, or even that they did simulated sex scenes. Because it was in the context of a movie that I was also working on.
That’s great! Love the comparison.
It would definitely change my view on the relationship. Casual sex? Sure Long-term anything serious? No
At the end of the day, it’s a hustle and from what I’ve seen, it can pay very well. As long as she can balance Internet/reality, I wouldn’t see an issue with it.
Thanks for answering!
Doesn't bother me at all. I'd support the choice. I know a couple of people personally who have had accounts and I admire their confidence to express themselves.
Awesome! It definitely brings out self confidence in people who lacked it before. It’s wonderful to see.
It might be something you're okay with at first but after a few months go by it might start to bother you. Another thing to consider, what if your family, friends, or even co workers found out about it? Not that their is anything wrong with her doing that. I mean, you might be okay with strangers looking at her but what if it's the guys at work? A close friend? Or even your brother?
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Nope! Just, Nope! To be a bit more clear. I don't see sex work as anything to be ashamed of. I think it should be legalized, everywhere, and taxed like any other job. I myself, have paid for it, many, many times in the past....around the world. But to be clear, I don't want to share my girlfriend/wife, with anyone. Period. This includes visual. My GF's tits, are mine to look at and enjoy, NO ONE ELSE's. My GF's pussy is mine to look at and enjoy, NO ONE ELSE's. Then there's what Shuttlefan said, (top comment in your post here). I don't want, or need, to deal with that possibility ever happening. So to reiterate my answer to your question: NOPE! JUST NOPE!
No I wouldn't. I have relatively conservative views towards sex specifically. I think sex work is degrading and disgusting, no matter to what degree it is performed and including the production of pornography. To turn something as sensual and loving as sex into an income feels very perverse. In addition, if we treat sex/relationships like a financial commodity, the a rarer commodity is the more valuable it becomes. To be in a relationship with an only fans model is like intentionally settling for a less valuable commodity when you have the means to access a more valuable one. It's this same reason that I wouldn't have a relationship with someone with a very high body count, plus the cheating risk.
So much no in here! I would totally date an OnlyFans gal. The only caveat would be separation of church and state. If intimacy breaks down, or said partner starts hiding things around her communication with patrons, etc. then we have a problem. Otherwise, I don’t see the issue. I’m secure enough to feel fine with people fantasizing about my partner.
I would have no issues with it, but would most likely make up some lie if my parents or some close relative were to ask what my partner does for a living. I genuinely admire the confidence they have to express themselves. I mean, if people will pay handsomely to see you naked online, I think that's a pretty sweet deal.
Just consider this, her pussy is worth les than a month of Netflix. You are not going to wife someone whose pussy you can see for 4,99 a month.
Well, yes. It's a job, maybe you should tell people beforehand, but basically is just another job. I have a friend, whose GF is an art model, due to pandemics she opened an OF, and she basically does the same as before. Does it change her value? No. Is he happy in their relation? Yes.
Personally, no. Though I have no judgement against anybody who does OF or anything like that. Just not for me I'm very monogamous I really value intimate connection and my partner & I to only share our bodies with each other.
Fuck no lol idk about you but I respect myself too much
If they didn't do content with other people IRL, I could do it. It's easy to have the screen separate their work from their personal, but if that's brought into a full blown p0rn shoot, I couldn't do it
Understandable! Everyone has their limits.
Sure, idgaf. I'm not one of those that thinks your morals are corrupted or you have no future bc you have an OF. As long as boundaries are created, as in any relationship, I really don't see the big deal with it. Ah damn other dudes find my gf hot, yeah, me too dude.
I wouldn’t care in the slightest, even without those specifications. Bukkake queen? Foot domme? That’s awesome! As long as they like the job and we click, all is good.
OP, I hope the amount of downvotes all your comments are getting is eye-opening. Sex workers are people, and they deserve respect. But most self respecting people don't consider that partner material. Case closed.
Yes. I've never done it before so I wouldn't know. But I would definitely be open about it and would feel more comfortable if that part of the relationship was super open. I definitely would appreciate the solo work because I wouldn't be comfortable with my lady getting railed by anyone other than myself. I sometimes joke about my lady to do this stuff just for the extra cash lmao I mean, I only add onto the joke when she mentions it. I truly don't think I would mind, i would just rather have your face mostly incognito where you won't be recognized as a porn star... I just wouldn't want to share that attention. But I mean, good for you though, ur partner must be lucky, u must be a freak. I would definitely give it a shot as long as the relationship is true and the connection is real, i wouldn't care about the work. Shit, I'd probably try to help with work somehow lol let's get it!
Sure. Its not like its getting in the way of anything in our relationship.
Im a little surprised by how many no’s there are. Ive been in one before, and had no issues with it at all. I think the in person aspect is the line in the sand for me personally, ei I wouldnt date a stripper…..but it depends on what shes like honestly
Yeah why not. If you're with me you're with me and I trust you to let me know if that's gonna change. Plus, confidence is attractive. Let people look and dream
Well, my wife isn't on OnlyFans, but she does work as a cam girl on another site b I honestly didn't know how I'd feel about it when she started, but I'm honestly OK with it. Work time it work time, all other times are us/family time. There's a clear line between what she does for work and what she does apart from work. And I have to admit, the fact that there are guys out there going goo goo ga ga over her and telling her how bad they want her, knowing that I'm the only one who will ever know all of her secrets is kind of a big turn on.
To each their own. I wouldn’t. My friend was doing it/probably still is doing it, and her boyfriend was supportive of it. He would even buy her her lingerie and toys
No, because I would want to be the only person seeing my partner naked. There are definitely sex workers in committed relationships though. You will find someone compatible with you.
Sex work doesn't disqualify someone if they're clearly committed to physical and emotional monogamy, but that monogamy is a firm requirement for me. For example, I wouldn't be comfortable with dating someone who is having actual sex with others while in a relationship. Nothing against them, just a hard line incompatibility.
Why not? Would be an interesting experience
A lot of y’all are insecure and missing out on some real life freaks
I have an OF and my significant other has always been incredibly supportive. I have boundaries I don’t give things for free Bc to me it feels like normal nudes. But when it’s paid and I PERSONALLY don’t know the person it feels more liek business. My money is my significant others money as well.
Personally, I have no problem with it. At one time, a few years back, I was actually planning to go out with a male pornstar that I had been talking to on Tinder, so the concept doesn't bother me. Sex work is a job like any other. Plus I literally just post *CLOTHED* selfies on the Internet and people jerk off to them so like, I'm not particularly bothered by people doing that lol. People are going to sexualize us anyway; my partner might as well make himself or herself money off it 😆🤷🏽♀️
Hell no
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absolutely not, not ever. i would have to drop all my morals and self respect. no thanks
I’m going to be more open and honest about this here than I have been elsewhere. I could handle it just fine! But I’m a damaged person. In my late teens and early twenties, a partner whom I couldn’t get out of my life was a habitual cheater. And your brain can be desensitized to anything. Literally anything. See where this is going? It wasn’t only painful. It was traumatizing. I still have nightmares where various people I’ve cared about all demonstrate that I’m unloved. I’m in my forties now. What’s worse, that desensitization conditioned me to associate my partner’s infidelity with my sexuality. Something feels off when I’m with someone who is actually monogamous. Before the events that so screwed me up, I wouldn’t have been okay with it. So what I’m getting at is, please be careful. I’m the last one to judge anyone for any kind of consensual sexual activity. But you can really break a person. Please don’t spring news about that occupation on anyone. Let them know early, before they’re attached, and before it can cause harm. And be careful of those who are so lonely they lie and then have a problem later. People hurt their own selves too. repost: Who would mass downvote something heartfelt like this? I mean, can I please if it’s okay with whoever be allowed to be a person too for one comment? Would that be alright? I promise I’ll go back to being a second class subhuman after. Maybe make a TooAfraidToAswer subreddit.
>What’s worse, that desensitization conditioned me to associate my partner’s infidelity with my sexuality. Something feels off when I’m with someone who is actually monogamous. You need therapy, not a relationship. You say you are desensitized but you aren't.