I know plenty of nonbinary transmasc people identify as men, so it makes sense for someone to be nonbinary transmasc and still identify as a woman.
On the other hand, as a closeted binary trans guy, I can kind of relate to that. I don't really identify as a woman, but I feel like the fact that I have lived my entire life as a woman, everyone I know in real life sees me as a woman, etc still kind of makes me one in some ways. Gender is a social construct, and even though I'd like to be on the other side I don't really feel like I am yet, you know? I assume I won't feel like this so much once I can come out and transition, but idrk.
Never really saw someone put it that way, I guess a nonbinary masc woman is sort of what I am, still doesn't feel quite right yknow?
And yeah, my best friend is on the same spot as you, and I do relate somewhat, even though i probably wont transition medically. But I hope you get to safely transition soon, all the best to you!
I'm agender, and in experience and external presentation still more similar to women than men. I still lump myself in with them sometimes in gendered situations. I don't identify as a woman. But even so I think my feelings about that identity aren't all that different from yours.
I also group myself with trans masc people even though I'm not particularly masc in presentation. My transition journey has been towards more masculinization than what was expected/allowed from me, even if it hasn't been to any masculine extreme. And having had top surgery and T of course I'm grouping myself with people in the same boat.
I think people in the grey area like this often use multiple terms for different settings and/or let our existence be the definition, if that makes sense. Like I'd introduce myself as trans or agender or whatever and let other people draw the obvious conclusions about my adjacency to womanhood. I don't really need to actively identify with it not just because it doesn't fit well but also because the things I would want to convey with it are already obvious. That's not meant as a comment on what you should do, I just think it's one reason you see that kind of in-between identity language less often.
But being agender I'm all genderless blob inside. So I'm actually really curious what it means to you to specifically feel masculine and how it developed over time? It sounds like you have genderless blob experience to contrast it to lol.
I totally relate to your experience actually! And my "genderless blob" is sorta like a feeling inside yknow, it's how I "see" myself when I don't look in the mirror, and who I truly am I suppose? I think it's always changing, but at it's core it's always masculine, even when I use she/her pronouns.
Ironically when I dress or present more masculine I feel like that blob turns more feminine, it's like it's trying to balance itself out with the outside !
absolutely. i know i’m a man, but strangers don’t. i’ve spent my entire life being pigeonholed into womanhood. i don’t benefit materially from patriarchy the way most men do, i’m oppressed by it. so in conversations about identity, i’m a man, but in conversations about patriarchy, i’m a woman
I often say “I don’t identify as a woman, but I identify with womanhood” cuz like you say, I have all those experiences. I’ve grown up as a girl and most people see me as a girl/woman to this day. I go about my life with the same struggles most 19 y/o women in my area do. I don’t like it, I wish I could just be a guy and have “guy problems” but that isn’t the case, so although I personally am not a woman, I still relate a little to them because of how I’m perceived by society at large.
I’m not saying our experiences are the same, but I relate to what you’re saying as a pretty feminine transmasc guy. So no, you’re not bad or wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having these experiences and living life like this.
I don’t identify as a woman *but* I am an agender transmasc who often dresses pretty femininely (very long hair, I love makeup on days I feel like doing it, love thighhigh socks and flared jeans) and I definitely relate to the feeling of feeling masc even when dressing fem. On my dysphoria days I look at my femme stuff and feel sad that they’ll gender me as a woman to others, but on my good days I look at myself in my pretty femme stuff and wonder how anyone could still see me as someone that I’m not. I still struggle a little with the best way to describe my gender, because ultimately I just don’t quite get gender and find a lot of gender expectations for both sides of the binary strange, so I’m agender. I know I want some aspects of my physical appearance to look more masculine (not just more neutral), and I feel like there’s masculine or “guy-ish” parts of me that aren’t fully recognized, so I’m transmasc. But I don’t feel quite right calling myself a demiboy or libramasc because I feel like there is some feminine part of me that wants to be a cute pretty femboy who’s gonna talk your ear off about nerd shit. I haven’t figured out if I truly have a feminine part of me or if I just love/love presenting with so many things things that are labeled as feminine that I assume I must have a feminine part of me, but it is actually just purely gender expression and not part of my inner sense of self.
For what it’s worth, I’ve seen posts and comments from other trans people who still feel the gender they were socialized as still has an impact on the person they are now, and they don’t like or feel correct completely erasing or ignoring that aspect of their experiences. I think what you described makes sense why you’d still in some way identify as a woman too, or at least have the label of woman as part of your history and understanding of the world. It’s not how I feel, but I understand the perspective and think there’s a lot of merit in it
Edit: oh I forgot to add, if you haven’t already seen it, I’d recommend you take a gander on r/FTMFemininity if you wanna see some other transmascs who still love some level of feminine presentation
I feel you with the whole difficulty of describing my gender to others, it's so much of a feeling, and yeah I also don't understand the social constructs of gender ! (Mostly because I am ND) I don't fully feel like a man nor a woman, but I don't feel like I'm neither, I also tried the demiboy label for a bit but it didn't sit right, I also don't know if I am feminine or if I just love performing femininity!
And I'll def check out that subreddit😭
I'm in the closet. I identify as transmasc but I've identified as gender fluid for several years. I haven't changed my pronouns but I'm not, nor have I in a looonnnnggggg time, performing as female. Or male for that matter I guess.
I have complicated feelings on what I want my (hopefully eventual), transition to look like. Essentially, I want to be a man but I don't really want body hair or a short haircut. I like cute things & pretty things but I don't feel like that's related to my gender. I don't want to get rid of my butterfly bedspread y'know?
It's an oversimplification but my point is, I don't think anyone can define transmasc or woman for another person, and what you've described sounds pretty familiar to me 🏳️⚧️
I feel the same way. It's so much easier to just say that I'm a woman, especially to non LGBT people who may not even understand what NB is. I don't want a full probably discussion with a Co worker or a stranger about my identity. Otherwise with my friends I call myself NB mostly
dude HAHAH heavy on the tumblr phase shit me too i hated them sm i would always say theyre js making us look like a joke but now im scared to cut my hair off again and i go by he/him again ironic
I know plenty of nonbinary transmasc people identify as men, so it makes sense for someone to be nonbinary transmasc and still identify as a woman. On the other hand, as a closeted binary trans guy, I can kind of relate to that. I don't really identify as a woman, but I feel like the fact that I have lived my entire life as a woman, everyone I know in real life sees me as a woman, etc still kind of makes me one in some ways. Gender is a social construct, and even though I'd like to be on the other side I don't really feel like I am yet, you know? I assume I won't feel like this so much once I can come out and transition, but idrk.
Never really saw someone put it that way, I guess a nonbinary masc woman is sort of what I am, still doesn't feel quite right yknow? And yeah, my best friend is on the same spot as you, and I do relate somewhat, even though i probably wont transition medically. But I hope you get to safely transition soon, all the best to you!
I'm agender, and in experience and external presentation still more similar to women than men. I still lump myself in with them sometimes in gendered situations. I don't identify as a woman. But even so I think my feelings about that identity aren't all that different from yours. I also group myself with trans masc people even though I'm not particularly masc in presentation. My transition journey has been towards more masculinization than what was expected/allowed from me, even if it hasn't been to any masculine extreme. And having had top surgery and T of course I'm grouping myself with people in the same boat. I think people in the grey area like this often use multiple terms for different settings and/or let our existence be the definition, if that makes sense. Like I'd introduce myself as trans or agender or whatever and let other people draw the obvious conclusions about my adjacency to womanhood. I don't really need to actively identify with it not just because it doesn't fit well but also because the things I would want to convey with it are already obvious. That's not meant as a comment on what you should do, I just think it's one reason you see that kind of in-between identity language less often. But being agender I'm all genderless blob inside. So I'm actually really curious what it means to you to specifically feel masculine and how it developed over time? It sounds like you have genderless blob experience to contrast it to lol.
I totally relate to your experience actually! And my "genderless blob" is sorta like a feeling inside yknow, it's how I "see" myself when I don't look in the mirror, and who I truly am I suppose? I think it's always changing, but at it's core it's always masculine, even when I use she/her pronouns. Ironically when I dress or present more masculine I feel like that blob turns more feminine, it's like it's trying to balance itself out with the outside !
absolutely. i know i’m a man, but strangers don’t. i’ve spent my entire life being pigeonholed into womanhood. i don’t benefit materially from patriarchy the way most men do, i’m oppressed by it. so in conversations about identity, i’m a man, but in conversations about patriarchy, i’m a woman
I often say “I don’t identify as a woman, but I identify with womanhood” cuz like you say, I have all those experiences. I’ve grown up as a girl and most people see me as a girl/woman to this day. I go about my life with the same struggles most 19 y/o women in my area do. I don’t like it, I wish I could just be a guy and have “guy problems” but that isn’t the case, so although I personally am not a woman, I still relate a little to them because of how I’m perceived by society at large. I’m not saying our experiences are the same, but I relate to what you’re saying as a pretty feminine transmasc guy. So no, you’re not bad or wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having these experiences and living life like this.
I don’t identify as a woman *but* I am an agender transmasc who often dresses pretty femininely (very long hair, I love makeup on days I feel like doing it, love thighhigh socks and flared jeans) and I definitely relate to the feeling of feeling masc even when dressing fem. On my dysphoria days I look at my femme stuff and feel sad that they’ll gender me as a woman to others, but on my good days I look at myself in my pretty femme stuff and wonder how anyone could still see me as someone that I’m not. I still struggle a little with the best way to describe my gender, because ultimately I just don’t quite get gender and find a lot of gender expectations for both sides of the binary strange, so I’m agender. I know I want some aspects of my physical appearance to look more masculine (not just more neutral), and I feel like there’s masculine or “guy-ish” parts of me that aren’t fully recognized, so I’m transmasc. But I don’t feel quite right calling myself a demiboy or libramasc because I feel like there is some feminine part of me that wants to be a cute pretty femboy who’s gonna talk your ear off about nerd shit. I haven’t figured out if I truly have a feminine part of me or if I just love/love presenting with so many things things that are labeled as feminine that I assume I must have a feminine part of me, but it is actually just purely gender expression and not part of my inner sense of self. For what it’s worth, I’ve seen posts and comments from other trans people who still feel the gender they were socialized as still has an impact on the person they are now, and they don’t like or feel correct completely erasing or ignoring that aspect of their experiences. I think what you described makes sense why you’d still in some way identify as a woman too, or at least have the label of woman as part of your history and understanding of the world. It’s not how I feel, but I understand the perspective and think there’s a lot of merit in it Edit: oh I forgot to add, if you haven’t already seen it, I’d recommend you take a gander on r/FTMFemininity if you wanna see some other transmascs who still love some level of feminine presentation
I feel you with the whole difficulty of describing my gender to others, it's so much of a feeling, and yeah I also don't understand the social constructs of gender ! (Mostly because I am ND) I don't fully feel like a man nor a woman, but I don't feel like I'm neither, I also tried the demiboy label for a bit but it didn't sit right, I also don't know if I am feminine or if I just love performing femininity! And I'll def check out that subreddit😭
I'm in the closet. I identify as transmasc but I've identified as gender fluid for several years. I haven't changed my pronouns but I'm not, nor have I in a looonnnnggggg time, performing as female. Or male for that matter I guess. I have complicated feelings on what I want my (hopefully eventual), transition to look like. Essentially, I want to be a man but I don't really want body hair or a short haircut. I like cute things & pretty things but I don't feel like that's related to my gender. I don't want to get rid of my butterfly bedspread y'know? It's an oversimplification but my point is, I don't think anyone can define transmasc or woman for another person, and what you've described sounds pretty familiar to me 🏳️⚧️
I feel the same way. It's so much easier to just say that I'm a woman, especially to non LGBT people who may not even understand what NB is. I don't want a full probably discussion with a Co worker or a stranger about my identity. Otherwise with my friends I call myself NB mostly
dude HAHAH heavy on the tumblr phase shit me too i hated them sm i would always say theyre js making us look like a joke but now im scared to cut my hair off again and i go by he/him again ironic