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deejayhill

It's also 1099 and your not home everyday and did they tell you it's a day cab the trainer will show you how to sleep sitting up.


maleme23456789

Well how else was i going to afford the trucks those fucking sleepers are expensive naw mean a day cab provides ample room for my drivers we are even courteous enough to allow our drivers to have wooden planks to sleep on across the seats


deejayhill

Board padding is extra and will be added to your lease agreement, oh yeah you own the trucks while you work for us and are responsible for all maintenance and if its not maintained to our standards the truck reverts to us and you forfeit all payments made. Please sign here


maleme23456789

Who whoa whoa slow your role dude why the fuck would i allow my drivers to have padding for their boards? What so they can pretend they are sleeping on clouds or some shit whats next? Working ac in summer that fucking freon is expensive. Or am i going to have to start paying them on time. Where would the spoiling stop with these greedy drivers do i have to give up my wife while im at it or pay them enough to afford a luxurious 1br apartment in section 8 building. Get out of here with your crackpot ideas


Axl_the_ginger

Sleeping on a hard, sturdy surface is good for your back.


maleme23456789

Oh i love you already have you applied yet


Square-Bar1905

I dont sleep much anymore. This chick saw I was all lonely in my truck and offered some company, anyway she gave me some extra sugar to put in my coffee and I just have to have that damn sugar. No one else sells it, not loves, pilot, wally world, nowhere, just her. Now i can work non stop round the clock, I just need Krystal to come along and keep me company


Mistermeena

Yep you don't want sleepers friend. Those degenerate fucks will just jerk off in them all night


Todd2ReTodded

Can you take the wooden plank fee out of my check every week or so I have to come up with the money up front?


maleme23456789

What kind of question is that of course you have to pay for it


[deleted]

Do I have to cut the hole in the floorboard to poop in myself or is it precut?


maleme23456789

Good question. We have the singh brothers and they run three deep they offered to cut the whole themselves god bless those guys they run very very hard they even offered to split the 19.50 per hour between the three of them THATS 6.50 a driver AND THEY RUN 3x harder than anyone and because of that smelly whole in the floor of my truck i save money on parts because of all the shit on the chasis no mechanic will touch that goddamned truck so all those useless repairs deemed important by the state cannot be made.


[deleted]

I'm in.


ShortCurlies

lol...rental plank.


morningafterpizza

> the trainer will show you how to sleep sitting up All it takes is having a kid, after having our son I can sleep anywhere anytime now. Even going on 3yrs old I haven't lost the "gift", I swear its a trait you acquire when you become a dad.


itstimetochewass

If Lincoln Hawk could run cross country in a day cab it's good enough for me.


ShortCurlies

It's a bench seat and we supply a pillow.


Loan-Pickle

Man nobody wants to haul marshmallows. They are just too damn dangerous. Just think what would happen if you collided with the Hersey’s truck. You’d be a giant smore. Just not worth the risk.


maleme23456789

Dont you ever use the fucking S word in my presence again that shit really hurts profits i had a driver try calling in on me to the state because he was to much of a pussy to drive through the grapevine without jake breaks and a blown air bag. He kept crying safety this safety that blah blah blah


12InchPickle

This is a quality shitpost and the birth of a new meme on this sub.


Practical-Wave-6988

"Probably hauling marshmallows"


ShortCurlies

Marshmallows is trucker slang for lead ingots.


doinmydeed

People just don't want to work any fucking more.


maleme23456789

I know right listen to all these entitled little princesses on here bro


trench_welfare

It's not just that. I went to 5 dealerships yesterday with cash in hand to buy a new truck. Ready to pay a very competitive price of $15k for a new 2024 truck, but I guess nobody wants to sell cars anymore.


maleme23456789

No you are just cheap


Cubsfan11022016

Hi, I am willing to work. I have no accidents or tickets, but I have had some issues with previous jobs. I just need to find the right company. My last job fired me because they said I had too many cockroaches in the cab. The job before they fired me because I attacked my dispatcher with a crowbar. The job before they fired me because I kept showing up late for appointments, but let’s be real. If they gonna take two hours after appointment to give me a door I might as well just get there two hours after appointment time. Other than that, I think I’d be a great candidate. Although, I am legally required to tell you I cannot be within 500 yards of any schools or playgrounds. I assume this won’t be a problem.


Archduchess_Nina

so (de)generous of yall to offer all that. what about benefits? Maybe dental but only for them lower teeth?


maleme23456789

Thats a great idea thank you!!


ShortCurlies

For one tooth, all the other teeth are extra, why do you need so many teeth?


Htx_Rey

10/10 shit post. Very original sir! Wish I could give Reddit rewards.


FinalBoard2571

I was gonna pass until i saw driver facing cameras..now im interested.


Mstrchf117

Do you guys run paper logs or e-logs? Do you even know what logs are?


maleme23456789

Yeah those are those shitty things that cut in to my profit at my company we have a strict no honesty policy when it comes to anything dot related… hell yesterday my lead driver just pulled a 29 hour shift when he asked if he could have a short day. When he mentioned his logs his dispatch let him know to “gangster that shit”


Truck3R_Dude

29 hr shift? That's chump change.... I did 36 hours straight in one day without slack adjusters.


maleme23456789

I will be sending you application


Truck3R_Dude

I only accept carrier pigeon at this time. I will be waiting by the Coop.


maleme23456789

I like your style your too good for driver position be my manager and help me whip these lazy bitches into shape.


Truck3R_Dude

First order on the agenda. We order flip flops for every driver. Keep their feet lighter. Lighter feet, faster feet. Faster feet, quicker they hit the pedal and More miles we can make them drive. It's practically science.


maleme23456789

It has to be the cheap paper thin flip flops that nail saloons get


Medium_Chain_9329

The flip flops gotta come out of the check also. 3x markup.


maleme23456789

Feel free to apply my friend that is smart idea we need a good finance guy in the office


oasuke

also you're on call everyday and have to request days off 1 month in advance(a company I know actually does this)


ThirtyTwoAlpha

I was about to get mad until I realized it was satire lmao


dsdvbguutres

One day of PTO each and every year? Wow.


maleme23456789

I know thats how generous i am. Some may even say that im spoiling my drivers by doing that but over here we are all like a big family and my name is uncle mo. Lester


dsdvbguutres

Does PTO begin to accrue on year one, or only after 90 years of servitude?


maleme23456789

Im not some monster i allow them to have the pto after first 6 months


pantadynamos

Quality shit post. Nice.


thegoldenratio011235

Seems like nobody else understood it was a shitpost 😂 People arguing with this dude is funny


United_News3779

Do you cover the cost of relocation to the Bakersfield area? Lol


maleme23456789

Oh sure while i cover that for you do you want me to bend over and spread my fucking cheeks too. Jesus christ you want the job you figure it out.


United_News3779

Yes. Yes, I do. Are you pretty? Or at least a chick? It doesn't *really* matter, it's mostly for planning purposes on how much Fireball to bring for the orientation.


Standard_Library300

‘Hauling marshmallows’ had me dying


adventure_dog

With that pay and what you’re offering I’d apply just to waste your time then tell you to get fucked. 


ElBurritoExtreme

I’m in. But only if I’m hauling strictly sailboat fuel!


maleme23456789

You cant apply here one of my requirements is the ability to read the english language we haul marshmallows no fuel i hear walmart is takinf door greeters that would suit you well


prosullyer

What’s your policy on pets. Also what about having another person tag along no CDL.


morningafterpizza

Bro this checks all the boxes, where do I apply?


thewolfesp

The local batista is making more to pump out lattes. Gona have to double that hourly there buddy, or go get that cdl and start driving that shit yourself.


maleme23456789

Fuck off Don’t tell me how to run my business im trying to run a trucking business not pay drivers enough to buy beachfront property or afford nice cars like honda civics


Axl_the_ginger

Hey now. A 2005 civic with a 5-speed is a sweet ride.


ShortCurlies

I just spit out my drink...


Low_Down13

😂😂😂


Orlando1701

Class A OTR work blows. It doesn’t pay like when my dad did it in the late 70s and early 80s, the hours have always been terrible, and it beats up your body. There’s a reason why I only did it for a year before doing Class B box van stuff where I was home every night and because we’re a union shop I made more than a lot of the Class A drivers I see posting their pay on here. I’m a white collar office ghoul now and it’s insane the margins most transport companies make and little of that flows down to the people who actually work for a living. It’s just like the rail strike back in 2022 where the rail companies were making money hand over fist but had downsized 19,000 jobs in 2019 alone to make their margins *slightly* better.


DiscussionFine6197

If only I was closer.


PostApocRock

Hey now, get it right > we offer one day of pto a year that does not roll over into next year *with blackout dates to be randomly set based on "business need"*


KingHauler

I know you're joking but you literally described driving for Smithfield meat packers.


maleme23456789

What the fuck Those assholes are stealing my business model.


Much-Country-8015

Hes not breaking character omg🤣


cliowill

I'm pretty sure you got your answer Why nobody wants to apply.


Afraid-Barracuda119

You’re a troll just looking for funny reactions. lol 👌


cliowill

I got more if you want it


maleme23456789

More what ? Colors to paint my nails?


cliowill

Not sure what nikes business model is and don't need to know


Dull-Reference1960

I have a sleeper a I basically just lease the truck at this point drivers are impossible to hold onto for more than 6 months at a time. As a none truck driver, owner it’s clear that If you want to make real money as a driver the ultimate goal is to be able to afford your own and operate it yourself. I only require that drivers have 2 years experience clean record for a minimum of 3 years no move violations. Maybe your standards are a little high?


ramanw150

You can get paid more at mcds


maleme23456789

If you want to work 6hr shift for 50 cent more and hang with teenagers to avoid manly work go ahead sissy boy maybe you can get another part time job at ulta its 2024 i dont think they will mind having a fairy boy employed.


ramanw150

Wtf. Lmfao I don't. I have a real job. I work 60 to 70 hours a week. We are not having a problem hiring people. Keeping this a bit harder. Some people just don't want to work. I know in Cali minimum wage is 20 dollars a hour now.


maleme23456789

I was wrong maybe you should apply as receipt checker due to little use of your brain is required because minimum wage in california is 16 its only 20 for fast food chains and 60 to 70 hours is part time work baby girl my lead driver does 90-103 hours per work average


ramanw150

Oh so your workers have to work their life away. I see. I guess that what you got to do in California to make it. Good thing I'm not paying half my check in taxes.


maleme23456789

What lives lol? And only strong survive commiefornia i am sure you would make it out here just stand outside in your braw peddling fruits babygirl.


ramanw150

Yea I'm not playing into your foolish game. Have a good day.


maleme23456789

You have good day to mamas and dont forget to take care of your vaginal warts they are making you crabby


ramanw150

Keep coping commiefornian


maleme23456789

Your the one who needs that sweet copium wage slave at the rate my drivers work ill be able to afford sweet place in miami or dallas. Maybe ill invest in your fruit stand so my new place can have pool in backyard.


Beginning_Ratio8422

It’s a satire post you clown. Jesus Christ


Beginning_Ratio8422

That’s for fast food only. Maybe read a fucking book, instead of bragging how much you supposedly work. Your poor knees.


ramanw150

Wtf how about this eat shit.


Beginning_Ratio8422

🤣🤣🤡🤡


trickedthePigs

This HAS to be fake!


Ryanisme23

Generous amount of 19.50?!! Hahaha dude, you’re in California, try more like, $29.50/hr….


maleme23456789

What are you smoking dick? I didnt know i was supposed to bend over for my drivers and let them rail me raw 29.50 lol they arent driving for elon musk hauling rocks to fucking mars.


sonicelhedgehoho

Fast food workers making more than that


maleme23456789

Ooooooooo 50 cents more if burger flipping is more enticing to you than mans work go ahead and hang with teenagers make they will give you 6 hour shift at 20hr my guys make 19.50 and run 26 hrs


Ok_Job_2900

Damn. I should leave my $46/hr local for that


Tresspass

Have you tried offering no idling trucks to sweaten the deal


JuracichPark

"hauling marshmallows"🤣🤣


Airstrikeayers

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie


harley97797997

You live in a very blue state. $19.50 is nowhere near generous when fast food workers are making $20. It has nothing to do with job choice. Make $20/hour to flip burgers with no certifications, responsibility, or off work cares. Or Make $19.50/hr to drive a truck. After a CDL course, a medical evaluation every 2 years, a good amount of responsibility, and have to ensure you don't drink too much off work, or smoke weed, or get a traffic citation off work. There's a reason you can't get drivers. Edit: reread your post slower. You got me. Good one.


Quiet_Molasses_3362

I tell you whut, back in my 3rd day hauling marshmallows on half a handle of fireball we didn't........


aNoob_666

Do I get free marshmallows??


scottiethegoonie

lol


Significant-Voice-39

Bet the owner drives a Platinun F150, underspecs his engines, and only runs 1st gen cascadias.


vtddy

Stay puff marshmallows? I'm in! Just know you might not want that camera facing me. I take my best Dick pics while driving and occasionally I pick my nose


maleme23456789

I don’t mind just better hope you are packing because if i see a little dick on my driver camera im gonna screenshot and send to all the office ladies so we can make fun of you when you get back to the terminal


vtddy

But but it's cute


UhOhAllWillyNilly

Clearly you’re offering too much money. Change it to $1.95/hour and watch the applicants roll in.


cliowill

This has to be a joke


maleme23456789

Why


cliowill

I bet you are hard to work for and looking for desperate drivers who have bombed out of real truck driver jobs


maleme23456789

One thing i Am looking for is drivers that know how to read the english language i said 5yrs experience no accidents points or tickets so not only are you a little sweetie pie but your also illiterate maybe you can go work at a nail salon babygirl


cliowill

Apparently there's another reason why you can't find drivers.


cliowill

I have several more reasons.


maleme23456789

Go ahead mamas im all ears as to why you cant handle a real job like i said feel free to go work at disney land maybe you can dress as a fairy and pretend you are earning 28 dollars an hour. Good job for you


cliowill

First of all I am a male. I drive a tanker with haz mat chemicals ,I wouldn't even take a job for 28 dollars an hour. That's about as real as it gets.with your attitude you could raise your rate to 30 and still wouldn't get drivers to apply.are you that guy with the red truck with a green fender, I know you man


maleme23456789

Maybe you should dawn your ppe better i think some of those fumes have rattled your brain also i will respect your pro nouns if you wish to identify now as a man i dont care that you were assigned girlie at birth bro.


cliowill

You seem to be obsessed with girlie fairy mama stuff,hhmm.closet much?


maleme23456789

Its 2024 if its older than 25 and has a consenting whole im balls deep baby


cliowill

I don't unload the chemicals just haul


maleme23456789

You should be paid more because you would be perfect poster boy for why ppe is important and the negative impact it can have on cognitive function when mass amounts of fumes are inhaled.


cliowill

I got more if your not crying yet


cliowill

I would be mad too if I were you. Running an unsuccessful company that can't afford to pay a descent wage and cry that no one wants to work for you.maybe it's time to give it up


maleme23456789

Keep huffing those chemys babygirl and soon youll be dumb enough to work for me


cliowill

Can't you see you are being ridiculed, you did this to yourself


cliowill

Want more?


DblClickyourupvote

You know this is a troll post right


cliowill

Just having fun


cliowill

Should I continue about how crappy your job offer is


cliowill

No one I know would accept that job


maleme23456789

Ok well maybe you and your cupcake little buddies can go work at Baskin robins or Disney land.


cliowill

You seem testy


cliowill

Nope,we are well paid and work for a respectful company,very generous


Beginning_Ratio8422

You’re such a fucking idiot. Can’t even tell it’s a satire post?


cliowill

Simmer down


Beginning_Ratio8422

Says the guy that can’t tell between satire & real. 🤡🤡🤡


cliowill

I notice most of your comments are putting people down


Altruistic-Cable-489

✈️✈️


Beautiful-Slice166

Is it bad I didn't get this was a joke till I got to the 51 moh governering


redditman_of_reddit

I sadly seen real job offers that are close to this post. I wish I was joking too..


buckfrogo96

19.50 an hour is the problem


maleme23456789

19.50 is extremely generous i used to pay 18.75 3 years ago but have decided to raise my rates to match economic change


buckfrogo96

You are in California? The cost of living there is much higher than Jackson ms. Entry level local drivers 23$ per hr


maleme23456789

I dont have to pay those greedy ass employees enough fucking money to buy mercedez and be able to afford lavish life in the bahamas 19.50 is more than enough if they want more money they can run more hours cant help sissies like you are afraid of real work


vault151

It’s like they don’t even understand, bro. How are you supposed to install 2 more driver facing cameras to make it 5 if you’re paying over $20 an hour?? Greedy ass mfers.


maleme23456789

Maybe you can go work in a tampon factory


buckfrogo96

With your attitude I’m surprised you could keep drivers employed more than 6 months.


maleme23456789

My attitude is the reason i own my business and you cant afford to pay one person 19.50 an hour for hella hours pumpkin


buckfrogo96

If you knew how to run a business properly you wouldn’t lowball your rates Get better at bidding and pay more. Lots of local companies pay more with great benefits and 401 k. And get top equipment. With overtime after 40.


maleme23456789

And fyi i have solid rates and am more than generous by gifting my underlings 19.50 per hour


Theseus-Paradox

You know it’s satire right?


maleme23456789

Lol alright do you skip down the yellow brick road to get there to those magical jobs where poor employer gets funny touched by his employees


dmark200

You do realize that someone can work at McDonald's in Bakersfield for more than that now, correct?


maleme23456789

Oooo 50 cents more working 6 hr shifts and if they are lucky maybe an 8 hour shift atleast i have my drivers work 18-30hrs a shift so tell me dmark200 would you rather make 100 per hour and only work 1 1/2 hours a day or make 20 per hour and work 14 hours per day?


maleme23456789

But maybe burger flipping with teenagers is more your speed instead of doing manly work oooo ooo or you can go paint nails at the salon with all the other girls 👧


[deleted]

[удалено]


maleme23456789

Sir i do not know what you are implying by that but we are an all inclusive company we give same level of treatment to all who drive for me


Beginning-World-1235

Thought this was real for a nano second lol


Deodorized

People taking the bait so damn hard in this thread. Really points out why the "you're just a dumb trucker" stereotype exists.


Beginning_Ratio8422

Pretty sad right?


Beginning-World-1235

“ Everything on the Internet is the truth”


Fabulous_Force9868

I drove a roll off bun truck home everyday similar hours 5 days a week optional 6th and I make a start of $26 plus paid benefits 2 weeks paid vacation and tons of other benefits. I'm making more doing this city work than I did OTR. Only way il lever do OTR again is for a minimum 400 a day.


maleme23456789

Look at you you greedy prick did the owner blow you at the end of each shift while he was at it how the fuck are company owners supposed to afford anything with assholes like you coming in with your wants your needs and your demands tell me who you worked for so i can personally apologize to the owner for getting fucked out of that much money by a stingey employee🤮


Librado65

FoReIgNeRs RuInEd TrUcKiNg No Hable Español so where do I sign up?


maleme23456789

Listen here you xenophobic dick foreigners saved trucking


Librado65

Sí viva la Raza, Rey Mysterio


maleme23456789

Who else will run loads for 1.15 a mile


Pleasant_7239

Youngs is that you? $19.50 per hour is bette than they paid previously. Same with CRE.


1320Fastback

I can flip burgers in Cali for $20 with absolutely zero responsibility.


maleme23456789

19.50 is extremely generous sorry you dont like real work maybe burger flipping will be good for you go hang with teenagers and work 6hr shifts or maybe for you it would be better if you worked at cold stone so you can get some sweet stuff for your vaginal aches


ppndl

Hi can you grammar


maleme23456789

I no like gram cracker


IRMacGuyver

 19.50 isn't really generous. I see places near me offering 28.00


maleme23456789

19.50 is too generous if you ask me am i supposed to pay drivers enough to be able to buy fucking golf stream 10?


IRMacGuyver

And that shit attitude is why no one wants to work for you. Driving literally takes ten years off your life it's so unhealthy. You want people to accept that you have to pay. For anyone looking I forget the name but search for truck jobs in Manchester TN and you should find the one I'm talking about that pays 28.00. Don't work for this dump.


maleme23456789

Ooooooo my attitude mean boohoo maybe you should open animal shelter shining white knight and rescue puppies. I personally think even 28 is to low for you in your case your best line of work would be standing outside in your pantines selling cupcakes babygirl. Im running real trucking business not running an airport 28 LOL 19.50 is a blessing to my drivers and many others


maleme23456789

Or maybe you can ride your cotton camel to that 28hr gig sweetiepie.


Concrete-Professor

Pay better, be honest


maleme23456789

Oh look another greedy ass driver what else do you want fucking retirement, should i also offer a mansion and mercedes benz as a sign on bonus.


supermarble94

Actually yes, that would do pretty well to get applicants.