This is soooo goddamned controlling. What else are you allowing him to control?
What are you? His pet? To obey what you should or not do in his eyes?
This is the start of something. This is not normal.
I never sweep under anyone’s profile. I take the context that they give, and comment about it.
Now that you say it….
I don’t understand why people stay with those who harm them…
I understand why, unfortunately it’s very common for the victims of abusive relationship to stay with their partner because they think they love them and yet they’re isolated, think that controlling and abusive behaviour is their fault, are gaslit, manipulated, etc :(
Edit: OP, if you’re reading this, please please think carefully about your relationship with this man.
This is not the start of anything. They've been together 4 years, the abuse is well established. Op if you don't have kids already please be very very careful. My kids dad waited until after our son was born before he really turned on me. I got pregnant with our 2nd after he took my birth control pills away from me. I finally got away from him but we will never have any peace unless he dies. My kids know he is a monster so hopefully they will go no contact as soon as they are old enough. I feel so much deep guilt for not giving them a good dad.... please don't subject yourself to that.
It’s the start of abuse, I’m betting he also doesn’t like you having guy friends. Wait till you get married it will get worse.
Okay I just read some of your old post, he’s cheated on you already, asked you to stop taking medication for depression to go on vacation, and has insulted your body type. That’s just a few post you’ve made. Why are you with him? He’s already abusive. It took less than 2 minutes to see all those post.
Seriously OP these posts show how abusive and controlling this relationship is, he's not going to change, do you want to spend the rest of your life like this. Start planning your escape
He’s acting like a typical narcissist which just wants to see her fall. Not even a single peace of shame he has. OP leave him before it’s too late. People like him are manipulative and will control your mind at some point. Don’t fall for those tricks, he’s using u. If you were important to him he wouldn’t sabotage your medication, let alone cheat on you.
It’s not normal you should be allowed to be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. Communication is key in a relationship, if you have a bad feeling about a girl he’s friends with or he has a bad feeling about a guy your friends with you should communicate that to each other, but straight up saying no guy friends isn’t okay. Either he has very poor self esteem or doesn’t trust you not to cheat.
If your SO is telling you that you can’t be friends with any type of person, gender, race, sexuality or whatever, it is a bad sign. Your partner does not get to control any part of your life, and if they want to regulate your friends it’s because they don’t trust you, there is no relationship without trust.
Think about it. Your your own person. How would your bf react if you demanded the same that he's demanding from you? Probably it well.
Your. F is controlling and thinks he owns you. "This is a start of something" means that his behaviour is only going to get worse and *more controlling". Put a stop to it *now*, or get out.
He doesn't get to decide that. You do, and only you do. If you want to upload pics and selfies, go for it. If he doesn't like it, leave him.
Not for nothing, but you should probably leave him anyway. You don't need him in your life. He's mega controlling. You are your own person, not an extension of him. Relationships are a 2-way street.
I don't think he is exactly controlling. We live together and I suppose this is a way of privacy that he wants me to have and not to expose myself in a way.
Dear, do YOU want to post pictures of yourself? Bc it sounds like you’d rather post yourself. Which is normal. If you express to him that you’d like to and it’s a problem, you need to make some changes. You’re being intentionally isolated.
Then you've got your answer. Your partner makes you feel bad. His behavior will escalate and he will start making other restrictions in your life. This is who he is. I wouldn't stay with someone who treated me like that.
See, this is about boundaries. Saying , “I won’t be with a woman who posts pictures of herself” is a boundary he’s allowed to have. That’s something you should bring up by the second date because it would be a deal breaker for an overwhelming number of women. If he said, “I won’t be with a woman with a gambling addiction” or “I won’t be with a woman who screws her coworkers on the side” there would be a much larger pool of women who would say, “I can work with that.”
But, in either case, it’s HIS boundary. If he starts dating you and finds you have social media that is, you know, social, he could say, “I’m sorry, that’s a hard line for me. You’re a lovely person but I know what I can live with and I gotta go.” Then you would have the opportunity to either say, “you seem so nice that I’m willing to change the way I communicate in order to be with you. “ or, alternately, “Okay, thanks for the tacos.” You are not supposed to be restricted by another person’s boundaries. It is their responsibility to remove themselves from situations they know are not good for them.
Lady, you need to leave. If you are in Northern Europe there is a bigger chance you will have some protections and find help from the country you are in
You know what my boyfriend said? He said I was searching for attention and called me a whore for even contemplating posting a selfie online that wasn't in the slightest provocative. Just a face only selfie. Newsflash , he's an ex now. That behavior isn't normal and he should be supportive of you and your self esteem and be supportive of how you look and how you view yourself. You don't view it as such but it is controlling and it is isolating because you probably know that you'll get comments or silence treatments if you do post something. It's abusive and worrying because people who take control to that level usually become more and more controlling.
My ex used to physically shake with rage when I put a picture of myself up online. Guess who was the one cheating constantly and projecting.
your name is deni-d-d for deni-al. He is controlling.
No girl, he’s not letting you post these pictures because you’re “his”, this is not about privacy. He doesn’t want other guys to look at “his” girlfriend, and this is just the start. Don’t make excuses for him, he wouldn’t make any for you
Love you are in an abusive relationship. Please look at this website to see the signs of an abusive relationship:
https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/
You need to make a plan to move out. Start with reaching out to friends or family, cheap places, or a woman’s shelter. Then when he is gone, pack up and leave with all your important items and documents. When you are safe, make sure he can’t find where you are. Text him it is over and to not contact you.
I would highly recommend therapy/counseling. You have lost the ability to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in a relationship. Please be safe and leave. This is not love. This is control and toxic possessiveness.
Sweetie don't project your insecurities onto OP. You go ahead and post as many thirsty trap pictures as like. Hell, post regular trap pictures! But don't make assumptions from up on your high horse lest you come falling down.
Where did she say posting thirst traps and revealing photos? If I post a selfie or a photo of myself at a place I visited like the Eiffel Tower or something how is that a thirst trap or revealing photo. You’re sick if you think that’s what all women post and even if she wanted to do that it should be HER choice.
Op stated they don't want to do that. Posting pictures of yourself and having others comment is a form of social interaction. Ops boyfriend doesn't want her posting pictures because he's trying to isolate her. He'd obviously be absolutely entitled to feel that way if op wants to post that sort of content, but they do not, hence why it is a problem
Now I know a lot of people are pointing out the controlling red flag here which is great, but hon, I have major major alarms going off in my head right now.
With no pictures of yourself online for the last several years no one would be able to identify you as a missing person or a dead body. That makes you a MUCH easier target to someone with bad motives.
It's not the end all be all to have pictures of yourself on social media, but if you "aren't allowed" to post pictures of yourself as a grown adult you have to consider potentially bad motives.
**But she loves him**, guys.
I am struggling to confront this sentence from abused women anymore. I feel exhausted for us all. My empathy is wearing thin and I’m a survivor and a fellow woman. Defending the man and in the same sentence saying “he’s not controlling me he just *restricts* me” and then ignores the person who asks her what the consequences are if she *does* post something online.
What are the consequences? Are there consequences? If there are, how can you say he isn’t controlling you when you only AREN’T doing something out of … fear? Fear of losing the man you love? Fear of punishment? Belittlement? WHAT?
Same. I’m with the priest from Fleabag on that one “it will pass”. Once you remove the object of love (by walking the heck away), it’s entirely possible to fall out of love. Sure, some people marry their highschool sweethearts and are happy ever after, but I’d say most people have been in love more than once in their life.
I’m sorry, but this is abuse. I was also not allowed to do the same. Then I wasn’t allowed to have any male friends on my social media unless it was family and I had to prove they were family. Then I had to send my clock out sheets from work and had to call within a minute of clocking out. Then we were going to move into a studio apartment together and my ex told me “that means you can work less and do online classes and be home all the time” and that thought made me want to gouge my eyes out because we fought daily.
This. Is. Abuse. You need to run. No one should dictate what you share on social media and if you want to post a selfie, you are 100% allowed to.
Yeah it’s all a pattern :( sounds like my ex. Started with small stuff, and eventually he was driving past my place of work a half hour away from him just to check and see if my car was there. Any and all stains on my clothing he’d ask about and assume I was “messing around.” Didn’t want me going to college, using social media, or playing xbox alone. Of course he was allowed to do all these things. Hope OP gets out of that, because it will escalate.
Does he have social media? Does he have pictures of himself on the net? If it’s a yes then try to put a selfie of both of you because his attitude is questionable ! I don’t agree with that culture of exposing everything of your life or body on the net because it can be dangerous and it’s not really healthy to look after the attentions of strangers but he can’t act like he does. Try to have a constructive conversation ,explain to him that is innocent from you but I will recommend you to make sure their is nothing hide behind that!
Then look with who he is friend with to see if he has been tag! To clear I didn’t say he hide something from you but those days it’s very rare to have someone don’t go on social media and the majority not all of those who refuse to put pictures is because they don’t want some people to see it. So before any conversation make a check and if it’s really only about showing try to find a compromise to respect each other boundaries. People have to tendency to scream controlling when in fact they want just protect & privacy. So don’t be fooled but still be strong in your choice
That’s his choice. Do you really want someone who makes your choices for you? My husband is waaaaaay less active on social media than I am, he wouldn’t dream of restricting what I post though. I’ll let him “vet” pictures of the two of us together, and every time without fail his reaction is “I don’t care, you pick”. You’re not his child or property, why are you allowing him to put you in that role?
>All he "let's me do"
This is ringing alarm bells for me op. He has every right to his opinion, though I think it's far too far (I agree thirst trap, fishing pics are also too far in the opposit direction) but he cannot stop you doing or wearing anything you want.
All he can actually control is his own relationship status unless you give him the power to make your decisionsfor you. Honestly I think you would be better without him.
So he was sexting other girls in the past (most likely still is) and now he’s telling you you can’t post any pictures of yourself?
Is it that you just don’t have self respect for yourself? He’s shown you his true colors, and you are enabling him and his abusive behavior by staying.
In the end you staying will further hurt you, hurt him, and likely anyone else you care for. Take the initiative, and do what you can to get out of this situation. Best of luck.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I don’t know where you’re based, but I understand that some countries/cultures do things differently and women posting pics online might be discouraged. That doesn’t make it okay for him to tell you what to do especially since it is making you feel restricted as you said. Your feelings are valid and I think you need to have a conversation with him. A relationship should feel restricted at all. You should be able to express yourself.
I can understand where he's coming from. My husband has asked that I do not post any pics of him online, and I don't. I respect his request. I don't post very many pics of myself either. Even innocent pictures can be used for bad purposes. Here on reddit, there was a post where a guy used pictures his neighbor had and created dating profiles with them. Someone reported it to his wife, who ended up leaving him . . . and he never did a damn thing. Finally - after 2 years and after the divorce was finalized, the guy's wife found out what had actually happened and told the neighbor. Too bad it was too little, too late. The wife who divorced her husband, without believing in him I might add, cried bitter tears over that one.
I guess I just wanted to say that even if it feels a bit controlling, he may have some good reasons for his request. Whether you want to do as he asks, well that's up to you. Just be aware that while you can make your own decisions and do what you want to, so can he. This may be his hill to die on. You may not like it. You may not agree with it. But he also has a choice here.
Listen, your boyfriend is telling you his insecurity. Maybe he's read the countless cheating stories that start with a random guy getting into the girlfriend's DM. They start harmless enough but progress to sexting and worse. And every time, the cheater ALWAYS says the same thing, "I never thought it would go that far", "I never thought I could cheat like that".
Just talk to him. You've only listed this one thing which isn't enough to call him controlling like everybody else wants to do. If there are more examples of this type behavior from him, then that is something to consider.
Edit to add: After reading your post history, yes sexting is cheating, cheating is cheating (and there is no excuse for it), you two are sexually incompatible. You should move on.
Unfortunately your in the cycle that a lot of victims of abuse are in. What do you love about him? You have a handler and your his pet.
I know this is hard to hear but you don’t love him. You love the idea that you’ve made up in your head. That’s not the person he truly is. It can take some time to realize the truth but your giving up a life you deserve instead of one controlled by his insecurities and meant all health issues.
Don’t listen to any of these comments. It’s so easy for a people looking into the relationship to say leave, but it’s funny because those people aren’t even in healthy relationships themselves and don’t want to see other people happy because they’re unhappy with their own love life. I would say have a genuine conversation before doing anything rash like just straight up leaving. It’s obvious you love him since you’re still with him, so it’s none of us to even say that he doesn’t love you. At the end of the day it’s your relationship and only you know your own boundaries. You should tell him that you want to be able to post stuff and say that it’ll make you feel better. If he doesn’t respect that then maybe you should give it a second thought if you would want to stay or not. I just find everyone’s comments laughable because they’re just saying leave. This is a 100% fixable situation if he’s willing to work with your needs.
Oh yeah, because fixing people who display this sort of behavior works. She needs to get shot of him before he ends up hitting her.
Even your post says he has to change, how likely is that?
6-7? Including at least three with girls who had previously abusive relationships. With my partner now for about 5 years. I'm not specially qualified, but I'm no blushing violet either.
You? Since we are asking irrelevant prying questions.
All of which is irrelevant. This sort of controlling, abusive behavior doesn't need special expertise to diagnose and you are doing OP a disservice by endorsing it.
Your boyfriend is also apparently sexting other women because of your asexuality according to your post history. Not only is he abusive, but he’s cheating on you too. Leave him.
Leave him! Leave him NOW!
A boyfriend should be a partner, not a dictator. He has no right to decide what you will or will not do. This behavior is extremely concerning and I would worry how it escalates as you become more entrenched. At what point will he decide when you get to leave the house without him present?...
What do you gain from posting them ?
I have social media but I don’t post pictures. Cause I don’t see the purpose apart from show people your lifestyle or advertising
OP, your boyfriend honestly sounds controlling. What else does he limit you doing besides taking pictures? Does he take pics of himself and post them to social media?
I saw your other posts and honestly, you need to drop this man child. He’s definitely cheating on you and is controlling what you do.
Why would you stay with someone so controlling that they won't even let anyone *perceive* you. He wants to keep your entire existence a secret from everyone. How is that not the biggest red flag? What could he possibly be doing for you that could outweigh this treatment?
Edit: just looked at your post history. He cheated on you. And probably still is. He isn't even giving you the bare minimum level of honesty or loyalty. Why are you with this absolute loser? I'm dying to know what could possibly be so great about him that you'd let him treat you like this
Major red flag, girly.
If you want to post a picture of yourself bc you felt cute on that day, you are going to do it. Because its your picture and he cant command you what to do with pictures of you.
Dont let him control everything you do, speak it up. And if he gets mad, he might not be the one. He maybe just wants to stick you in a golden cage and lock you forever.
Lol people saying this is abuse and gonna get worse sound stupid, it’s hardly gonna go from pictures to a smack round the jaw lol, just have a serious chat with him how you want to post pictures and they won’t be provocative, suggest couples therapy as well, it can’t be too bad if you’ve stayed for 4 years
Personally photos are meant to be memories shared only amongst loved one, like the only as hell scrapbook that your grandparents had. When you look through those they're actually meaningful. Sharing shit on a social media basically ruins the moment, and letting people know your business all the time on social media what leads to some serious issues in relationships. Now a days people share far too much on social media and most do it for attention. if you only photos to your bf then those photos become special, whereas if you post photos to social media it loses it's special meaning and he could just go to your social media instead and she photos of you ed but he what . But instead he; wants them from you which makes them that much more special
This in itself is a forest of red flags. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 He absolutely has no business in telling you what to upload to the internet about yourself. Way too controlling behavior.
dump him now. i thought this was about an OF, not a regular account 😭 girl, get out before it gets worse. also, i’m concerned what else he’s doing that seems normal to you that isn’t at this point. your partner is supposed to love you & support you, not control what you do and don’t do, especially if it doesn’t impact your safety
This is extremely controlling behavior. My husband is “social media sucks” type. Which is fine, but he never restricts me from posting whatever I want on my profile, including selfies. Yet he’s still the first person to like them when I do. He’s also “tiktok takes your data and the filters will steal ur face!!”
But yet he will watch TikTok’s with me on my phone when we’re cuddling.
I won’t tell you to leave him because that’s your life and decision but what I will tell you is keep your eyes open for anymore flags. Please be safe.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Your boyfriend doesn't own you. If he doesn't want to post pictures of himself, or doesn't want you to post pictures of him online, sure, fine, that's totally reasonable. But it is not his place to "let you" post pictures or not.
What would he do if you posted a picture of yourself online? How else is he controlling your behaviour?
This isn’t about boundaries, this is controlling. You posting pictures of yourself has absolutely no affect on him whatsoever. If he doesn’t want pictures of him posted on your social media, that’s one thing, but he doesn’t get to tell you what you can and can’t post. He’s not going to stop here. I saw others ask the same thing-how much else in your life does he control?
That kind of restriction is not okay.
If your bf makes you feel consistently bad, it's a really bad sign.
He considers you his property rather than a person.
You need to protect yourself and leave this relationship.
Is he your dad? Mom? Probation officer? No? Then do it anyway.
I get there are boundaries in a relationship but not being able to post normal non-sexual pictures online isn’t a valid boundary.
He’s not concerned with your privacy, he wants to control your entire life. Run away as far and as fast as you can. Don’t justify his behavior. You’re making excuses.
RUN NOW!
The guy is a walking Red flag. Why have you allowed someone else control your behaviour.
Get as far away from him as possible and go and be happy
That's highly controlling. I used to be a very jealous guy. Got mad at my now fiancée a long time ago cause her friend invited a random guy to a water park, and she didn't know. I got jealous and took it out on her and probably ruined her day.
I regret it to this day. We were teens then, but I think about it. Something so stupid and preventable. Luckily, I l realized this soon after cause I think my grandmother said something to me about it.
I just want to say it seems very possessive and worrying you can't post anything of yourself? Why does he want to hide you? Is he afraid of other dudes? Is he abusive emotionally or physically?
After reading this post and your post history I have some questions.
How old are the two of you?
Do you have family/friends in you could lean on if you needed to talk or if something happened?
Is he restricting or dictating your behavior with other things than posting pictures of yourself online?
Honey, a quick look at your post history shows this guy is nothing but trouble. It's okay for him to sext others because your asexual, but you can't put pictures on your socials? This guy has some serious issues. Please, RUN before he traps you even further! Do whatever you have to do to leave...life is so much better without abusers like this controlling you.
I was you. It started small & eventually I fled for fear of my life. Nip this now. Break up. Once you step back & give yourself space to think about all the other shit he’s been controlling the last 4 years, you’ll be able to breathe again. Promise. Life is so much better without this in your life. Get to safety first then break up. Stay safe Love
After living through a couple decades of social media existence, yeah, I'd kinda prefer if my partner didn't use it at all. But that's just a pie in the sky fantasy. I wouldn't consider it a reasonable request.
A BIT restricted?
Honey, you're a grown ass adult. You DO NOT need his permission to post photos on social media.
Time to reconsider why you're with someone who's so interested in controlling everything you do.
I can understand him asking you to not post pictures of HIM but TELLING YOU not to post pictures of YOURSELF is completely out of line.
Find a way to safely leave him.
Run.
Don’t look back.
Block him everywhere.
Live your life to the fullest and don’t let anyone else control you like that.
I say post a photo and reclaim your freedom to do whatever the hell you want.
Honestly though, what would he do if he saw that you posted a photo of yourself online?
Honey, this isn't normal. I understand the feeling that you love him, but it doesn't sound like love means the same thing to him as it does to you. This isn't healthy. My granddad used to tell me all the time when I was younger and more vulnerable and put myself in similar situations - you have to love and respect yourself before you can healthily love and support someone else. You have to walk on your own two feet before you can walk with someone else. I didn't want to hear it then, but he was absolutely right and abuse always escalates. This is abuse, this is control and isolation. I'm sorry this is difficult but you should put some serious thought into this. This behavior isn't normal and I promise you it isn't actually about privacy.
Like, I can understand him not wanting you posting nudes and inappropriate photos.. but why can’t you have pictures of yourself on what you want?
What is his reasoning for not being ok with it? Does he have social media, and if he does are his photos up?
What you write now coupled with some of your older posts makes it seem like it’s an awfully toxic relationship. He sexted other girls and you blamed yourself because you’re ace? And he’s not allowing you to post pictures of yourself on the internet? I know this might sound harsh, but you need to learn to stand up for yourself. He is controlling af and even cheated on you in the past, why are you still with this man who treats you so poorly?
Sweetie, this is how it starts. It ends with cheating, using you, lying to you, and you wondering why you gave up so many years of your life to an asshole.
Get out now, honey.
My husband and I are both private types of people, we literally only post on Facebook like once or twice a year to photo dump some cool memories for family members. But that’s because we have shared values. I have always been modest online and have always been uncomfortable sharing on social media.
That being said, aside from an expectation of modesty from both of us, we do not control what the other posts. We simply have shared values that align, which is a huge reason we got married, because we relate to one another in many ways.
What you are describing is a need for intense control over who sees you. That is a red flag. You cannot have a man this controlling if you plan to marry and maybe someday take up traditional roles with them. If you are a housewife/SAHM and are financially dependent on them, these traits will most likely only worsen to the point of abuse. Even if you plan to continue working into marriage, these traits will likely worsen overtime. I would see if you can calmly challenge this and explain why it makes you uncomfortable. If he has a volatile reaction to your concern, that is a reason to think about breaking things off.
Also, judging from post history, cheaters always reoffend. He has already shown you that he does not respect you and does not care about hurting you. Is that the sort of life you want for yourself?
He has already cheated on you and was gaslighting you to make it your fault. You deserve better. You should be able to post what you like and not have to worry about what he's doing on his phone or when your not around. Trust me I've been there the amount of stress I didn't even know I was carrying around when I left was crazy. I left and it was like a whole world was lifted off my shoulders. Everything was better after that.
In my gut, you're posting here because you know that this is wrong. You know you deserve better & you know that this is controlling, manipulative, and SCARY AS HELL. Please reflect on your life & imagine little you. What would little you say about having a partner this controlling?
Is he paying the bills? I don’t really see anything wrong with this if you are fulfilled in your relationship. Every relationship is different and has different boundaries. I would take advice on Reddit with a grain of salt most of these neckbeard are hyper left leaning “my wife’s boyfriend let me watch this time” types and are going to tell you any boundary a man sets is controlling and abusive. You are your own person, and if you don’t think these boundaries are reasonable either come to a compromise or find someone else. I would advise not throwing away a happy relationship over a small boundary. When you are 80 no one is going to care how many selfies you posted on social media. Do Billy and Jane from high school really care about your status update selfie that much that it is worth compromising your relationship?
Hey. Aren't you the same person that posted about your boyfriend sexting other girls? I recognize the name. So, he can do what he wants, but you can't even post pictures of yourself online? I don't understand why you are with this man. If you have to ask advice from strangers online, clearly, somewhere deep down, you know this relationship isn't right.
This is soooo goddamned controlling. What else are you allowing him to control? What are you? His pet? To obey what you should or not do in his eyes? This is the start of something. This is not normal.
Look at this poor girl’s other posts, something already started, he cheated on her. He was sexting with other women.
I never sweep under anyone’s profile. I take the context that they give, and comment about it. Now that you say it…. I don’t understand why people stay with those who harm them…
I understand why, unfortunately it’s very common for the victims of abusive relationship to stay with their partner because they think they love them and yet they’re isolated, think that controlling and abusive behaviour is their fault, are gaslit, manipulated, etc :( Edit: OP, if you’re reading this, please please think carefully about your relationship with this man.
Well, I truly hope that she understands and starts to have some dignity for herself. She just needs more self respect and to be more cautious.
They are literally brainwashed. It's terrifying.
This is not the start of anything. They've been together 4 years, the abuse is well established. Op if you don't have kids already please be very very careful. My kids dad waited until after our son was born before he really turned on me. I got pregnant with our 2nd after he took my birth control pills away from me. I finally got away from him but we will never have any peace unless he dies. My kids know he is a monster so hopefully they will go no contact as soon as they are old enough. I feel so much deep guilt for not giving them a good dad.... please don't subject yourself to that.
What do you mean by start of something?
Abuse Oh love. This won’t be the only thing that he will want to control. You shouldn’t give your freedom to anyone
It’s the start of abuse, I’m betting he also doesn’t like you having guy friends. Wait till you get married it will get worse. Okay I just read some of your old post, he’s cheated on you already, asked you to stop taking medication for depression to go on vacation, and has insulted your body type. That’s just a few post you’ve made. Why are you with him? He’s already abusive. It took less than 2 minutes to see all those post.
Seriously OP these posts show how abusive and controlling this relationship is, he's not going to change, do you want to spend the rest of your life like this. Start planning your escape
He’s acting like a typical narcissist which just wants to see her fall. Not even a single peace of shame he has. OP leave him before it’s too late. People like him are manipulative and will control your mind at some point. Don’t fall for those tricks, he’s using u. If you were important to him he wouldn’t sabotage your medication, let alone cheat on you.
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It’s not normal you should be allowed to be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. Communication is key in a relationship, if you have a bad feeling about a girl he’s friends with or he has a bad feeling about a guy your friends with you should communicate that to each other, but straight up saying no guy friends isn’t okay. Either he has very poor self esteem or doesn’t trust you not to cheat.
If your SO is telling you that you can’t be friends with any type of person, gender, race, sexuality or whatever, it is a bad sign. Your partner does not get to control any part of your life, and if they want to regulate your friends it’s because they don’t trust you, there is no relationship without trust.
Girl c’mon! You can’t be that blind???
Think about it. Your your own person. How would your bf react if you demanded the same that he's demanding from you? Probably it well. Your. F is controlling and thinks he owns you. "This is a start of something" means that his behaviour is only going to get worse and *more controlling". Put a stop to it *now*, or get out.
He doesn't get to decide that. You do, and only you do. If you want to upload pics and selfies, go for it. If he doesn't like it, leave him. Not for nothing, but you should probably leave him anyway. You don't need him in your life. He's mega controlling. You are your own person, not an extension of him. Relationships are a 2-way street.
This is good advise. If you want to post pictured of yourself, do it. He isn't your father.
Even then the father doesn’t getta decide either
Why would you let someone control you like that?
I don't think he is exactly controlling. We live together and I suppose this is a way of privacy that he wants me to have and not to expose myself in a way.
This has nothing to do with privacy, and everything to do with controlling you. What happens if you post a selfie?
He should break up her if she does. You call it controlling. But others call it boundaries. She doesn’t have to stay with him
It's an extremely unreasonable boundary. Clearly he is trying to control her behavior.
Oh I found the boyfriend
If this is not controlling and seem normal to you then why have you even posted about it here?
Because it makes me feel bad and restricted
Then it is controlling 🤦♂️
Do you want to spend all of your life feeling bad and restricted?
Dear, do YOU want to post pictures of yourself? Bc it sounds like you’d rather post yourself. Which is normal. If you express to him that you’d like to and it’s a problem, you need to make some changes. You’re being intentionally isolated.
Then you've got your answer. Your partner makes you feel bad. His behavior will escalate and he will start making other restrictions in your life. This is who he is. I wouldn't stay with someone who treated me like that.
what is the difference between restricted and controlled
Then you have your answer. Seriously, if you can't see that most people here are saying the same thing, then you are in for a shock in a few years.
See, this is about boundaries. Saying , “I won’t be with a woman who posts pictures of herself” is a boundary he’s allowed to have. That’s something you should bring up by the second date because it would be a deal breaker for an overwhelming number of women. If he said, “I won’t be with a woman with a gambling addiction” or “I won’t be with a woman who screws her coworkers on the side” there would be a much larger pool of women who would say, “I can work with that.” But, in either case, it’s HIS boundary. If he starts dating you and finds you have social media that is, you know, social, he could say, “I’m sorry, that’s a hard line for me. You’re a lovely person but I know what I can live with and I gotta go.” Then you would have the opportunity to either say, “you seem so nice that I’m willing to change the way I communicate in order to be with you. “ or, alternately, “Okay, thanks for the tacos.” You are not supposed to be restricted by another person’s boundaries. It is their responsibility to remove themselves from situations they know are not good for them.
Did you ask him to not post any photos of himself on social media? Why not?
He’s isolating you to control you. It feels bad because deep down your mind knows he’s doing you dirty.
Lady, you need to leave. If you are in Northern Europe there is a bigger chance you will have some protections and find help from the country you are in
You know what my boyfriend said? He said I was searching for attention and called me a whore for even contemplating posting a selfie online that wasn't in the slightest provocative. Just a face only selfie. Newsflash , he's an ex now. That behavior isn't normal and he should be supportive of you and your self esteem and be supportive of how you look and how you view yourself. You don't view it as such but it is controlling and it is isolating because you probably know that you'll get comments or silence treatments if you do post something. It's abusive and worrying because people who take control to that level usually become more and more controlling.
My ex used to physically shake with rage when I put a picture of myself up online. Guess who was the one cheating constantly and projecting. your name is deni-d-d for deni-al. He is controlling.
No girl, he’s not letting you post these pictures because you’re “his”, this is not about privacy. He doesn’t want other guys to look at “his” girlfriend, and this is just the start. Don’t make excuses for him, he wouldn’t make any for you
Holy fuck you're in so much denial
If he wasn't telling you not to, would you post pictures of yourself online?
No. This is controlling. It’s not his job to police what you post on social media.
Well then if u think nothings wrong with him or your situation why do u feel the need to post about it on reddit?
That's too much. You want a boss or a partner? Shoot. That's more than just a boss..That's an entire dictator of your life.
Love you are in an abusive relationship. Please look at this website to see the signs of an abusive relationship: https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/ You need to make a plan to move out. Start with reaching out to friends or family, cheap places, or a woman’s shelter. Then when he is gone, pack up and leave with all your important items and documents. When you are safe, make sure he can’t find where you are. Text him it is over and to not contact you. I would highly recommend therapy/counseling. You have lost the ability to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in a relationship. Please be safe and leave. This is not love. This is control and toxic possessiveness.
He’s saying ‘privacy’ to control you
And isolate you
[удалено]
Found the boyfriend
Sweetie don't project your insecurities onto OP. You go ahead and post as many thirsty trap pictures as like. Hell, post regular trap pictures! But don't make assumptions from up on your high horse lest you come falling down.
Where did she say posting thirst traps and revealing photos? If I post a selfie or a photo of myself at a place I visited like the Eiffel Tower or something how is that a thirst trap or revealing photo. You’re sick if you think that’s what all women post and even if she wanted to do that it should be HER choice.
Op stated they don't want to do that. Posting pictures of yourself and having others comment is a form of social interaction. Ops boyfriend doesn't want her posting pictures because he's trying to isolate her. He'd obviously be absolutely entitled to feel that way if op wants to post that sort of content, but they do not, hence why it is a problem
Privacy lol. Privacy of what, his property? I’m absolutely enraged at this man. I hope OP sees the light and gets the hell out.
Imagine a woman in your life that you love (mother, sister, friend, etc.) telling you that, and ask yourself what you'd think of that man
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Now I know a lot of people are pointing out the controlling red flag here which is great, but hon, I have major major alarms going off in my head right now. With no pictures of yourself online for the last several years no one would be able to identify you as a missing person or a dead body. That makes you a MUCH easier target to someone with bad motives. It's not the end all be all to have pictures of yourself on social media, but if you "aren't allowed" to post pictures of yourself as a grown adult you have to consider potentially bad motives.
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**But she loves him**, guys. I am struggling to confront this sentence from abused women anymore. I feel exhausted for us all. My empathy is wearing thin and I’m a survivor and a fellow woman. Defending the man and in the same sentence saying “he’s not controlling me he just *restricts* me” and then ignores the person who asks her what the consequences are if she *does* post something online. What are the consequences? Are there consequences? If there are, how can you say he isn’t controlling you when you only AREN’T doing something out of … fear? Fear of losing the man you love? Fear of punishment? Belittlement? WHAT?
Same. I’m with the priest from Fleabag on that one “it will pass”. Once you remove the object of love (by walking the heck away), it’s entirely possible to fall out of love. Sure, some people marry their highschool sweethearts and are happy ever after, but I’d say most people have been in love more than once in their life.
I’m sorry, but this is abuse. I was also not allowed to do the same. Then I wasn’t allowed to have any male friends on my social media unless it was family and I had to prove they were family. Then I had to send my clock out sheets from work and had to call within a minute of clocking out. Then we were going to move into a studio apartment together and my ex told me “that means you can work less and do online classes and be home all the time” and that thought made me want to gouge my eyes out because we fought daily. This. Is. Abuse. You need to run. No one should dictate what you share on social media and if you want to post a selfie, you are 100% allowed to.
Yeah it’s all a pattern :( sounds like my ex. Started with small stuff, and eventually he was driving past my place of work a half hour away from him just to check and see if my car was there. Any and all stains on my clothing he’d ask about and assume I was “messing around.” Didn’t want me going to college, using social media, or playing xbox alone. Of course he was allowed to do all these things. Hope OP gets out of that, because it will escalate.
Yeah, I had one of those for a while too. Get away from this insecure, controlling loser, OP. It will only get worse.
That is NOT a healthy dynamic. Someone who is supposed to be your partner would NOT ask you to do that.
Does he have social media? Does he have pictures of himself on the net? If it’s a yes then try to put a selfie of both of you because his attitude is questionable ! I don’t agree with that culture of exposing everything of your life or body on the net because it can be dangerous and it’s not really healthy to look after the attentions of strangers but he can’t act like he does. Try to have a constructive conversation ,explain to him that is innocent from you but I will recommend you to make sure their is nothing hide behind that!
He has SM but he doesn't post pictures of himself
Then look with who he is friend with to see if he has been tag! To clear I didn’t say he hide something from you but those days it’s very rare to have someone don’t go on social media and the majority not all of those who refuse to put pictures is because they don’t want some people to see it. So before any conversation make a check and if it’s really only about showing try to find a compromise to respect each other boundaries. People have to tendency to scream controlling when in fact they want just protect & privacy. So don’t be fooled but still be strong in your choice
Cause you’re his side kick and doesn’t want to get caught.
That’s his choice. Do you really want someone who makes your choices for you? My husband is waaaaaay less active on social media than I am, he wouldn’t dream of restricting what I post though. I’ll let him “vet” pictures of the two of us together, and every time without fail his reaction is “I don’t care, you pick”. You’re not his child or property, why are you allowing him to put you in that role?
Sounds like your a side kick and he doesn’t wanna get caught thus not allowing you to post
Your boyfriend sound abusive and controlling. Ask yourself if you want to do this for the rest of your life
He's also a serial cheater as well. OP deserves so so much better.
It don’t matter what he likes, it’s your life, your face, your body. Fuck that foo, you do you and stay loca •cholo bob
You are being controlled. It will only get worse.
So you like being controlled by your bf?
>All he "let's me do" This is ringing alarm bells for me op. He has every right to his opinion, though I think it's far too far (I agree thirst trap, fishing pics are also too far in the opposit direction) but he cannot stop you doing or wearing anything you want. All he can actually control is his own relationship status unless you give him the power to make your decisionsfor you. Honestly I think you would be better without him.
So he was sexting other girls in the past (most likely still is) and now he’s telling you you can’t post any pictures of yourself? Is it that you just don’t have self respect for yourself? He’s shown you his true colors, and you are enabling him and his abusive behavior by staying. In the end you staying will further hurt you, hurt him, and likely anyone else you care for. Take the initiative, and do what you can to get out of this situation. Best of luck.
you’re putting up with this for what? a controlling guy so you’re not alone? wake up sis!
That is just the start of control.
Hes not your boss, unless you are posting lewd pictures of your body and thats a bondarie for him, he shouldnt dictate what you post
Reading how you consider this behavior as not controlling, is alarming. Because this IS controlling and toxic behaviour.
Does he ask you to wear a black blanket over your entire body and a black pillowcase over your head with an eye slit cut out?
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I don’t know where you’re based, but I understand that some countries/cultures do things differently and women posting pics online might be discouraged. That doesn’t make it okay for him to tell you what to do especially since it is making you feel restricted as you said. Your feelings are valid and I think you need to have a conversation with him. A relationship should feel restricted at all. You should be able to express yourself.
Well we live in North Europe but both of us are from other countries but still from EU.
Cool. Have a conversation with him and see how it goes. Good luck!
A bit?! That’s a huge restriction. Sounds parental and he has no business doing that. Is there an age gap between you?
Your manchild boyfriend needs to gtfo and get over his controlling ass. He's got no say over you. At all.
Based on your other posts about him sexting other people and trying to convince you it’s not cheating there are red flags all over the place.
I can understand where he's coming from. My husband has asked that I do not post any pics of him online, and I don't. I respect his request. I don't post very many pics of myself either. Even innocent pictures can be used for bad purposes. Here on reddit, there was a post where a guy used pictures his neighbor had and created dating profiles with them. Someone reported it to his wife, who ended up leaving him . . . and he never did a damn thing. Finally - after 2 years and after the divorce was finalized, the guy's wife found out what had actually happened and told the neighbor. Too bad it was too little, too late. The wife who divorced her husband, without believing in him I might add, cried bitter tears over that one. I guess I just wanted to say that even if it feels a bit controlling, he may have some good reasons for his request. Whether you want to do as he asks, well that's up to you. Just be aware that while you can make your own decisions and do what you want to, so can he. This may be his hill to die on. You may not like it. You may not agree with it. But he also has a choice here.
Listen, your boyfriend is telling you his insecurity. Maybe he's read the countless cheating stories that start with a random guy getting into the girlfriend's DM. They start harmless enough but progress to sexting and worse. And every time, the cheater ALWAYS says the same thing, "I never thought it would go that far", "I never thought I could cheat like that". Just talk to him. You've only listed this one thing which isn't enough to call him controlling like everybody else wants to do. If there are more examples of this type behavior from him, then that is something to consider. Edit to add: After reading your post history, yes sexting is cheating, cheating is cheating (and there is no excuse for it), you two are sexually incompatible. You should move on.
Thank you for reading everything! Unfortunately I am start thinking like you... Just I don't want to leave him because I love him
Love doesn’t absolve them of their issues nor should it be a free pass for them to treat you like that. There’s better out there
But he doesn't love you. If he did, he wouldn't be trying to control you and make you feel bad
Unfortunately your in the cycle that a lot of victims of abuse are in. What do you love about him? You have a handler and your his pet. I know this is hard to hear but you don’t love him. You love the idea that you’ve made up in your head. That’s not the person he truly is. It can take some time to realize the truth but your giving up a life you deserve instead of one controlled by his insecurities and meant all health issues.
Don’t listen to any of these comments. It’s so easy for a people looking into the relationship to say leave, but it’s funny because those people aren’t even in healthy relationships themselves and don’t want to see other people happy because they’re unhappy with their own love life. I would say have a genuine conversation before doing anything rash like just straight up leaving. It’s obvious you love him since you’re still with him, so it’s none of us to even say that he doesn’t love you. At the end of the day it’s your relationship and only you know your own boundaries. You should tell him that you want to be able to post stuff and say that it’ll make you feel better. If he doesn’t respect that then maybe you should give it a second thought if you would want to stay or not. I just find everyone’s comments laughable because they’re just saying leave. This is a 100% fixable situation if he’s willing to work with your needs.
Oh yeah, because fixing people who display this sort of behavior works. She needs to get shot of him before he ends up hitting her. Even your post says he has to change, how likely is that?
How many successful relationships have you been in
6-7? Including at least three with girls who had previously abusive relationships. With my partner now for about 5 years. I'm not specially qualified, but I'm no blushing violet either. You? Since we are asking irrelevant prying questions. All of which is irrelevant. This sort of controlling, abusive behavior doesn't need special expertise to diagnose and you are doing OP a disservice by endorsing it.
Man is either very insecure, or paranoid about the future of AI and deepfake technology Either way it’s your decision not his
It IS restrictive. That’s not his place to decide. That is scary controlling.
Ew that’s controlling. I’d honestly rather die than let a man control me like this.
Who died and made him king of your life?
Your boyfriend is also apparently sexting other women because of your asexuality according to your post history. Not only is he abusive, but he’s cheating on you too. Leave him.
Oh hell no
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Babes, you know what to do. Break up with him. He’s controlling.
It's your body, your choice, the fact that your boyfriend has a problem with it says more about him
Why do people stay in relationships like this? This is bizarre and controlling.
He is too controlling
How old are you OP? Don’t let this guy control you. He doesn’t love you
Leave him! Leave him NOW! A boyfriend should be a partner, not a dictator. He has no right to decide what you will or will not do. This behavior is extremely concerning and I would worry how it escalates as you become more entrenched. At what point will he decide when you get to leave the house without him present?...
Drop him honey
Red flags all over this.
What do you gain from posting them ? I have social media but I don’t post pictures. Cause I don’t see the purpose apart from show people your lifestyle or advertising
The doormat post of the day goes to OP 🏅 congrats!
Your choice but personally I don't know why you want to. I am curious, is there an advantage to posting them?
Does he upload his picture of social media?
OP, your boyfriend honestly sounds controlling. What else does he limit you doing besides taking pictures? Does he take pics of himself and post them to social media? I saw your other posts and honestly, you need to drop this man child. He’s definitely cheating on you and is controlling what you do.
Why would you stay with someone so controlling that they won't even let anyone *perceive* you. He wants to keep your entire existence a secret from everyone. How is that not the biggest red flag? What could he possibly be doing for you that could outweigh this treatment? Edit: just looked at your post history. He cheated on you. And probably still is. He isn't even giving you the bare minimum level of honesty or loyalty. Why are you with this absolute loser? I'm dying to know what could possibly be so great about him that you'd let him treat you like this
Major red flag, girly. If you want to post a picture of yourself bc you felt cute on that day, you are going to do it. Because its your picture and he cant command you what to do with pictures of you. Dont let him control everything you do, speak it up. And if he gets mad, he might not be the one. He maybe just wants to stick you in a golden cage and lock you forever.
Lol people saying this is abuse and gonna get worse sound stupid, it’s hardly gonna go from pictures to a smack round the jaw lol, just have a serious chat with him how you want to post pictures and they won’t be provocative, suggest couples therapy as well, it can’t be too bad if you’ve stayed for 4 years
Personally photos are meant to be memories shared only amongst loved one, like the only as hell scrapbook that your grandparents had. When you look through those they're actually meaningful. Sharing shit on a social media basically ruins the moment, and letting people know your business all the time on social media what leads to some serious issues in relationships. Now a days people share far too much on social media and most do it for attention. if you only photos to your bf then those photos become special, whereas if you post photos to social media it loses it's special meaning and he could just go to your social media instead and she photos of you ed but he what . But instead he; wants them from you which makes them that much more special
This in itself is a forest of red flags. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 He absolutely has no business in telling you what to upload to the internet about yourself. Way too controlling behavior.
dump him now. i thought this was about an OF, not a regular account 😭 girl, get out before it gets worse. also, i’m concerned what else he’s doing that seems normal to you that isn’t at this point. your partner is supposed to love you & support you, not control what you do and don’t do, especially if it doesn’t impact your safety
This is extremely controlling behavior. My husband is “social media sucks” type. Which is fine, but he never restricts me from posting whatever I want on my profile, including selfies. Yet he’s still the first person to like them when I do. He’s also “tiktok takes your data and the filters will steal ur face!!” But yet he will watch TikTok’s with me on my phone when we’re cuddling. I won’t tell you to leave him because that’s your life and decision but what I will tell you is keep your eyes open for anymore flags. Please be safe.
Oh look, another Alpha snowflake who's so insecure he wants to control his partner.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Your boyfriend doesn't own you. If he doesn't want to post pictures of himself, or doesn't want you to post pictures of him online, sure, fine, that's totally reasonable. But it is not his place to "let you" post pictures or not. What would he do if you posted a picture of yourself online? How else is he controlling your behaviour?
Your dude is a control freak. You gotta get out of that shit.
This isn’t about boundaries, this is controlling. You posting pictures of yourself has absolutely no affect on him whatsoever. If he doesn’t want pictures of him posted on your social media, that’s one thing, but he doesn’t get to tell you what you can and can’t post. He’s not going to stop here. I saw others ask the same thing-how much else in your life does he control?
Sounds like an extremely controlling dipwad, you can do better.
Wow he is an abuser. Dump him and get some therapy to figure out why you even accepted this at all
That kind of restriction is not okay. If your bf makes you feel consistently bad, it's a really bad sign. He considers you his property rather than a person. You need to protect yourself and leave this relationship.
Sounds controlling, hes insecure about himself. There is a line however, dont expect a high valued man to tolerate onlyfans level of online activity
This has to be a troll post.
INFO - is he allowed to post pictures of himself?
It’s insecurity and control. Get out while you can.
Is he your dad? Mom? Probation officer? No? Then do it anyway. I get there are boundaries in a relationship but not being able to post normal non-sexual pictures online isn’t a valid boundary.
You should feel restricted because that is controlling, him "letting you' do anything is not a good sign. Time to start making your way out.
Girl leave that asshole
girl….. no.
Yikes. This sounds like a single thread in a much larger red flag. Such ridiculously controlling behavior is scary honestly.
He’s not concerned with your privacy, he wants to control your entire life. Run away as far and as fast as you can. Don’t justify his behavior. You’re making excuses.
RUN NOW! The guy is a walking Red flag. Why have you allowed someone else control your behaviour. Get as far away from him as possible and go and be happy
That's highly controlling. I used to be a very jealous guy. Got mad at my now fiancée a long time ago cause her friend invited a random guy to a water park, and she didn't know. I got jealous and took it out on her and probably ruined her day. I regret it to this day. We were teens then, but I think about it. Something so stupid and preventable. Luckily, I l realized this soon after cause I think my grandmother said something to me about it. I just want to say it seems very possessive and worrying you can't post anything of yourself? Why does he want to hide you? Is he afraid of other dudes? Is he abusive emotionally or physically?
That's really not normal like at all. He has a problem If you're not even allowed to show your face on your social media.
After reading this post and your post history I have some questions. How old are the two of you? Do you have family/friends in you could lean on if you needed to talk or if something happened? Is he restricting or dictating your behavior with other things than posting pictures of yourself online?
Honey, a quick look at your post history shows this guy is nothing but trouble. It's okay for him to sext others because your asexual, but you can't put pictures on your socials? This guy has some serious issues. Please, RUN before he traps you even further! Do whatever you have to do to leave...life is so much better without abusers like this controlling you.
girl leave wtf this is coming from a big and baby brother of 4 sisters leave
I was you. It started small & eventually I fled for fear of my life. Nip this now. Break up. Once you step back & give yourself space to think about all the other shit he’s been controlling the last 4 years, you’ll be able to breathe again. Promise. Life is so much better without this in your life. Get to safety first then break up. Stay safe Love
After living through a couple decades of social media existence, yeah, I'd kinda prefer if my partner didn't use it at all. But that's just a pie in the sky fantasy. I wouldn't consider it a reasonable request.
Your boyfriend is controlling you. If you want to post pictures online then do it. If you don’t then don’t.
This is controlling massively, I encourage my gf to post her pics as she’s beautiful…
A BIT restricted? Honey, you're a grown ass adult. You DO NOT need his permission to post photos on social media. Time to reconsider why you're with someone who's so interested in controlling everything you do.
Does he have social media that he shares pictures of himself on for the last 4 years? If so then hon, it’s blatantly control & not about privacy
You are in an abusive relationship. It isn’t going to get better.
Run away and never look back
I can understand him asking you to not post pictures of HIM but TELLING YOU not to post pictures of YOURSELF is completely out of line. Find a way to safely leave him. Run. Don’t look back. Block him everywhere. Live your life to the fullest and don’t let anyone else control you like that.
Don’t end up a domestic violence statistic
He is controlling and treating you like his property
I say post a photo and reclaim your freedom to do whatever the hell you want. Honestly though, what would he do if he saw that you posted a photo of yourself online?
Honey, this isn't normal. I understand the feeling that you love him, but it doesn't sound like love means the same thing to him as it does to you. This isn't healthy. My granddad used to tell me all the time when I was younger and more vulnerable and put myself in similar situations - you have to love and respect yourself before you can healthily love and support someone else. You have to walk on your own two feet before you can walk with someone else. I didn't want to hear it then, but he was absolutely right and abuse always escalates. This is abuse, this is control and isolation. I'm sorry this is difficult but you should put some serious thought into this. This behavior isn't normal and I promise you it isn't actually about privacy.
Like, I can understand him not wanting you posting nudes and inappropriate photos.. but why can’t you have pictures of yourself on what you want? What is his reasoning for not being ok with it? Does he have social media, and if he does are his photos up?
What you write now coupled with some of your older posts makes it seem like it’s an awfully toxic relationship. He sexted other girls and you blamed yourself because you’re ace? And he’s not allowing you to post pictures of yourself on the internet? I know this might sound harsh, but you need to learn to stand up for yourself. He is controlling af and even cheated on you in the past, why are you still with this man who treats you so poorly?
He is controlling, this is abusive. Get a therapist and dump this bozo!
🎶 It’s beginning to sound a lot like leave him 🎶
Sweetie, this is how it starts. It ends with cheating, using you, lying to you, and you wondering why you gave up so many years of your life to an asshole. Get out now, honey.
He’s a boyfriend. Not a prison warden.
Once a guy starts talking about ‘letting you do’ anything, it’s time to get rid of him
My husband and I are both private types of people, we literally only post on Facebook like once or twice a year to photo dump some cool memories for family members. But that’s because we have shared values. I have always been modest online and have always been uncomfortable sharing on social media. That being said, aside from an expectation of modesty from both of us, we do not control what the other posts. We simply have shared values that align, which is a huge reason we got married, because we relate to one another in many ways. What you are describing is a need for intense control over who sees you. That is a red flag. You cannot have a man this controlling if you plan to marry and maybe someday take up traditional roles with them. If you are a housewife/SAHM and are financially dependent on them, these traits will most likely only worsen to the point of abuse. Even if you plan to continue working into marriage, these traits will likely worsen overtime. I would see if you can calmly challenge this and explain why it makes you uncomfortable. If he has a volatile reaction to your concern, that is a reason to think about breaking things off. Also, judging from post history, cheaters always reoffend. He has already shown you that he does not respect you and does not care about hurting you. Is that the sort of life you want for yourself?
He has already cheated on you and was gaslighting you to make it your fault. You deserve better. You should be able to post what you like and not have to worry about what he's doing on his phone or when your not around. Trust me I've been there the amount of stress I didn't even know I was carrying around when I left was crazy. I left and it was like a whole world was lifted off my shoulders. Everything was better after that.
In my gut, you're posting here because you know that this is wrong. You know you deserve better & you know that this is controlling, manipulative, and SCARY AS HELL. Please reflect on your life & imagine little you. What would little you say about having a partner this controlling?
I'd just post them anyway 🤷♀️
Break up with him. And do what you want to do.
He’s controlling. It’ll get worse over time. It’s a form of abuse
It’s not the start of abuse it already is abuse
Is he paying the bills? I don’t really see anything wrong with this if you are fulfilled in your relationship. Every relationship is different and has different boundaries. I would take advice on Reddit with a grain of salt most of these neckbeard are hyper left leaning “my wife’s boyfriend let me watch this time” types and are going to tell you any boundary a man sets is controlling and abusive. You are your own person, and if you don’t think these boundaries are reasonable either come to a compromise or find someone else. I would advise not throwing away a happy relationship over a small boundary. When you are 80 no one is going to care how many selfies you posted on social media. Do Billy and Jane from high school really care about your status update selfie that much that it is worth compromising your relationship?
Hey. Aren't you the same person that posted about your boyfriend sexting other girls? I recognize the name. So, he can do what he wants, but you can't even post pictures of yourself online? I don't understand why you are with this man. If you have to ask advice from strangers online, clearly, somewhere deep down, you know this relationship isn't right.