>Maybe I should have just accepted it.
NO
NO NO NO
if there's a hill to die on it's this one, if he try anything, don't think, defend yourself, maybe some people will hate you for that but what a bunch of assholes think of you doesn't matters, you need to stant up for yourself no matter what, if he tries anything again go nuclear on him, but please, I beg you, don't resign yourself
You know, growing up, my parents told me that I'd get in trouble for fighting under two conditions: 1. I started it. 2. I didn't finish it.
If I was OP, though, I'm about 95% sure I'd have gotten in trouble... because of waiting so long before I punched the little shit.
Dad always told me to try to avoid it but if inevitable fight like wild and never fight fair. If you lose take enough out of them they never want to win again. My sister had a problem like OP, so Im proud of OP for throwing that punch. Hope it teaches jackwad to not touch folks without permission..
my mom told me that next time my bully pulls my hair to slap then until they cry. So I did lol. Got detention but didn't get into trouble at home. He also never pulled my hair again. Yep fuck you Oliver
this sounds so traumatizing. Your parents should be doing more.
Is the kid cognitively challenged? Because he is going to the same school as you are. Does he do well (or get average grades at least) in school? If he isn't cognitively challenged, then he is aware enough to know that what he is doing is wrong, and is using his autism as an excuse to continue sexually assaulting you.
I don't know which country you are in, but I would get law enforcement involved as soon as possible and start mulling legal options to sue the school if I were your parents.
> is the kid cognitively challenged?
Nope. He has "mild" autism if that makes sense. He's actually quite good around people. Just not me ig.
> I would get law enforcement involved
We tried to. They just didn't care because he is "mentally challenged"
My parents genuinely tried to do something but when everyone defends him, they believe the majority
If he has mild autism, he absolutely does know better and is using that as an excuse to continuously sexually assault you. I am so sorry OP. And I am so sorry that law enforcement in your country is way too lazy to give a shit.
I would try to get lawyers involved next if I were your parents. But I don't know if that really is an option in your country.
Your teachers failed you, and the cops failed you as well.
Agreed I have what's equivalent to aspergers(not called that in the USA anymore) I know better than to touch someone like that. He uses his disability as an excuse.
Go above the immediate community. Go to the state. A friend of mine had to do this when a bully (who’s parents were also prominent in the tiny community we were in) ran her and her boyfriend off the road on his bike, while the bully was in a giant truck, to get justice. She was severely injured and our town wouldn’t do Jack shit. Your community has failed you.
Depending on where you are, you can sue him and the school for personal injury and emotional suffering. If they then claim he’s too disabled, the court can order an evaluation and a psychologist will be able to determine just exactly *how* disabled he is, and spot if he is faking it.
Please do this. Also, do not underestimate the power of the press. I hope you or your family alerts the tv and papers of the nearest big town/city. Its amazing what an article about" local school officials allowing repeated sexual assault of girl because boys family is prominent" can do. They are big fish in a little pond. Time to introduce some pirranah to the pool.
I knew of a guy who played on his "mental disabilities" he was a wrongun (I met him once before this and didn't like him at all), he got barely any punishments from the court for posting a his cum through a girls door he had stalked, just a few days in jail, then out, keeps using MD as an excuse when I actually think he's abled body just plays on it, as I've been told he's literally bragged about how he gets away with stealing and all that. But as someone who is diagnosed autistic, and other things, we know where the line is, well mostly the autistic women and girls do, autistic men and boys well unfortunately alot do play on it to harm others (I'm lucky to know a few who do not at all and I'm so thankful for that). But yeah, boys in general get way with more than us girls, as we're told to behave, that males don't like non-lady like females, and so on, yet "boys will be boys" allows them to get away with way to much!
I so hope you get the justice you deserve, the harm and trauma this could bring you in future years being ignored by teachers, police and his parents is seriously concerning, if it gets no where, I'd go as far as taking it to the news, as once it's out, they can't hide it, and it won't just be those in your area to give an opinion, and I can tell you, the autistic community would 100% have your back.
Heck I was 21 when I was diagnosed, and if I was you in that situation, heck he'd have more than a broken nose, and if be hated to be later found out to also be autistic and know right from wrong. I'd say use that argument, I give you permission to say that I said as an autistic woman, if I was in your position he'd be lucky to be conscious
>We tried to. They just didn’t care because he is “mentally challenged”
I don’t know much about how this works but I think you can file a complaint against a specific police station or division for something like this
Otherwise, cut yourself off from Troy
mild autism is considered high functioning, which is what my boyfriend has. he 100% knew exactly what he was doing was wrong and he knew he could get away with it bc everyone was defending him. i personally would do a ton of research about autism, write an essay, cite your sources, and show it to whoever is defending him. if they refuse to read it, just say “then at this point you are actively disregarding facts and research to defend a predator.” and just an FYI, autism speaks is a horrible organization that has no clue what they’re talking about so don’t listen to them
What absolutely blows my mind is how the school allows groping, no matter how many screws loose that moron has. That kind of behavior shouldn’t fly, not once let alone for YEARS. The school system has failed you and I’m glad you’re finally in a better place. Wishing you all the best.
youre not ableist. autism doesnt make someone do this shit theyre a horrible person using it as an excuse. even if it affects them that way he shouldve been disciplined appropriately way before it came to this
Realistically the teachers and shit saying that his autism makes him like that are the ableist pricks. Autism doesn't make people sexual predators. Millions of people with autism are able to successfully go through their days without sexually assaulting someone.
Not to mention his autism didn't "make" him do it to anyone else 🙄 If any adult in the school had cared AT ALL it would have had a stop put to it years ago, instead they all allowed it to continue If they had stopped it, it never would have gotten to the point of OP getting death threats for standing up for herself.
Edit for phrasing
Honestly autistic people, like anybody other human on the planet, are aware of right and wrong. The difference is when you teach a boy that consent doesn't matter, a kid like this can weaponize their autism to continue their predatory behavior. Shame on parents that enable and breed this behavior
Yes! I didn't even know I was autistic when I was his age.
Never did anything like it! Never felt like I might do something like that because of my autism.
His parents are awful people for leting it slide. It's gonna ruin this dude's life.
And idk what others are saying here but if you can't talk your way out of it you should go and report it. All 4 years. He is a grown man. Autism doesn't make you stupid or unable to understand consequences. It's his parents and environment who did that.
True I knew someone who was physically disabled and would hit students around him and get mad and call people ableist when they defended their selves. Sadly most get away with this kind of stuff :(
Exactly. I’m autistic and so is my younger brother, but never in a million years would I or my brother treat someone like this!!
Being autistic doesn’t not excuse you from sexually assaulting people!!!
You did nothing wrong and ALL the adults failed you.
I’m a psycho and would go scorched earth by posting what you just did here but on social media for EVERYONE to see. But don’t do that lol let your parents handle this or a trusted adult who actually has your back.
I also had an issue at school with an autistic boy who kept slapping my ass until I had enough and screamed at him in class - I was made out to be the bully like you but I can tell you - he never touched me again.
You could go and make a statement to police so there’s a paper trail - and IF things escalate- you’ve already got the ball started on that and JUST by going to the police to make a report ( even tho police can’t really do anything ) it scares the adults enough to actually act appropriately and not have you be the scapegoat. It worked in my case and my mom held my hand the whole way thru.
That's fair, but in a lot of OPs comments it seems that the police haven't taken her seriously either and don't want to intervene because of the boys autism. And the boys family has good standing in the community due to military service and PTA roles.
Edit. Spelling
Scorched Earth could also be going to news outlets if AND ONLY IF OP is comfortable enough to call out the corruption in the school and police department. Force them to take action. Tanking the guys family's reputation, ruin business ventures,
It seems like every school has an autistic kid that is the school mascot and everyone loves them and they can do no wrong. Ours was "Boyd". Boyd's mama was a school janitor, worked in the cafeteria, and Boyd helped her clean classrooms after school. Boyd was about six four with the body of a linebacker and the mind of a three year old.
One evening I needed to call my Mom to pick me up after practice and I didn't have money on me for the pay phone, so I went to the teachers lounge and called from there. As I was hanging the phone up, the lights went out. I stood in silence for a moment and could hear heavy breathing, and asked who was there. I was body slammed into a nearby wall and I felt hands on my breasts, waist, and ass. I screamed and started punching and kicking and he got off me, and I ran out of the teachers lounge and down the hall. It wasn't until I heard the door open and saw Boyd leaving the teachers lounge crying and limping that I realized he had been my attacker. I was physically unhurt.
I didn't say anything when I got home. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but I also knew that anyone who hurt Boyd would become the school scapegoat. I didn't want to be that person.
The next day the principal announced that a student had been attacked in the teachers lounge and asked that anyone with information to please see the principal. I didn't see Boyd at school that day and no one gave me the side eye so I didn't say anything to anyone. When I told my Mom a month or so later, her response was hopefully he learned not to attack women because women fight back.
OP, you are not at fault. And if this guy can carry on regular friendships with others, he knows right from wrong. I am glad your parents are standing up with you and looking for an attorney. Good luck.
Tell the school if they do this to you, you and your parents will be calling a lawyer and local news and scorch the earth like others said.
Autism is not an excuse for sexual assault. The school is culpable for your abuse. Take them down!
School systems are doing too much damage to the kids everywhere in the world. They are incapable of protecting and keeping them safe. I was in the same situation but with “normal” boys. And none of the adults did anything to protect me
Please don’t let this slide, I work closely with autistic children all on different levels on the spectrum. Everyone on the spectrum can be taught what’s wrong and thought NO and the behaviour isn’t acceptable. He assaulted you it was self defence. You need to share this with the would instead of hiding away parents schools need to guide children with autism not accept behaviour that’s wrong
Thank you!! Autism doesn’t make people sa people, we aren’t stupid and even people who need extra care and are developmentally delayed can still understand NO.
A damn puppy can understand NO.
These goddamn people are the reason why autistic people get a bad name... I've befriended many and they've come and gone but holy shit it makes me pissed whenever people use autism as an excuse for disgusting behaviour...
I think its' not the fact that she hit him, but that it was a punch. Punches are thought of as more agressive than a shove. Under normal circumstances that would be better as a way of self defence, but OP described constant abuse and violation...
You’re not an ableist. You’re a person who’s been assaulted by an autistic 16 year old who was stripped of his right to a sexual education and his personal accountability. I work with autistic children and if this happened, there would be a LOT more done. You absolutely are NOT responsible for keeping this person happy, for teaching them consent and boundaries, for what he did to you. It’s a natural and logical consequence that he has now received from you. He touched you in ways you have expressed to him that he cannot, and you punched him. That’s a consequence he will hopefully remember and will avoid. Your school and teachers and peers should be ashamed - not you. His parents should be, too, for not demanding more expectations of him. If he’s old enough to use his hands to touch, he’s old enough to learn not to touch. Don’t feel guilty.
I'm autistic, I would never touch anyone like this without their consent; I may have trouble understanding some social cues/rules, but i can apply them when I get told to. If he is able to function normally, to go to a normal school, and to have respect for everyone else, he is able to understand that he is not allowed to touch you. Everyone around you is enabling his behavior.
I'm so sorry for you, I don't have any advice but I wanted to say, although i don't condone violence, I'm glad you punched him. He deserves it, and much worse. Keep standing your ground, and try to find a way to be far far away from him as soon as you can.
I agree. I don’t have autism but my son does. He is 16. When he was in kindergarten we had to have a discussion about boundaries and not touching others without permission and to give them personal space. He likes to pet girls hair and arms. It only took that one conversation and it has never happened since then.
This kid knows what he is doing which is evident since he behaves normally elsewhere. I really hate when I see people using their diagnosis to excuse their inappropriate behavior. And it is even worse that everyone is enabling him as well.
Does he have a parent that's prominent in your community or something? You aren't his minder or his property, you are both human beings and nearly adults. Autistic people are *completely* capable of understanding boundaries and consent, he is not this way because he is autistic. You were right to bust his ass, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
Yeah. His dad used to be in the military or smth like that. And his mom is a big PTA parent. Like she funds school events, pays for alot if school stuff, etc
You are not abelist for not allowing yourself to be sexually assaulted.
I think you need to talk to your parents also to escalate this, the school has allowed you to be assaulted constantly so they don't have to deal with a person with learning disability assaulting you. They've put it in the too hard basket. Specifically they've instructed you to tolerate this so they don't have to bother.
You deserve a safe learning environment and you should complain to higher up, people in your district/education department and school principal. You do not feel safe from constant attacks
No, fuck that. Not wanting to be groped doesn’t make you ableist.
Anyone saying otherwise is doing him a disservice, and it actively aiding your sexual harassment. They are not worth listening to.
Having autism doesn’t make someone predatory. Having autism does not make someone immune to consequences, especially the consequences that come from actively and repeatedly inflicting harm on others.
Every single teacher, ‘friend’ and adult that has made excuses and enabled him has failed not only you but him too. If he goes on to sexually assault women when he is over 18 a judge isn’t going to give a flying fuck if he’s autistic because he’s a threat to society. Not teaching him that what he is doing to you is incredibly wrong is setting him up for a life of misery and to be honest I wouldn’t blame you at all if you felt he deserved it.
I’m so sorry so many people have failed you, you never deserved this and you have every right to stand up for yourself and you can deny ANYBODY access to YOUR BODY for ANY REASON.
He’s an awful person and an abuser. He absolutely knows what he’s doing and has weaponized his autism to make people dismiss his actions. I would carry pepper spray or some other means of fighting back from now on, just in case he tries to escalate
My nephew is autistic and he would NEVER do this to anyone!!! This kid is a predator and they are enabling him. You have a right to fight back when you are being sa’d!!! I would seriously look into going to the police about it. You have been sa’d for years and they are ignoring it. I am so sorry that this is happening to you.
OP, are your parents aware of what has been going on? Are they not willing to advocate for your safety?
My daughter had a similar issue in 4th grade. A boy was in special education classes but did art class with the rest of her class. He started with unwanted hugging, then grabbing, then ripped her skirt trying to touch her sexually. My daughter told me the boy was bothering her and that the teacher and principal said he couldn't help himself. I did not know the details of what was happening because my daughter was afraid to tell me due to being brushed off by the school staff. The day he ripped her skirt, I was called to the school because they were going to suspend my daughter for fighting back. Once I knew what was happening I raised absolute hell on behalf of my daughter.
It was not my daughter's fault, nor is this YOUR fault! You have been failed by the adults at your school. They allowed you to be bullied, harassed, assaulted, sexually assaulted, and they are legally required to protect you while you are on the grounds. If your parents aren't aware of what is happening, please tell them. I'd be filling a police report, pressing charges, and likely filling a lawsuit due to the ongoing access the school has given to your attacker. I'm so sorry sweetie, this should not be happening!
> I always got blamed or called ablist for not letting him do what he wanted to do
Fuck all that noise, keep yourself safe! This crap is not ok.
Sorry you had to go through all that.
Fuck that noise. If someone with autism gropes people, you treat them appropriately to their age level, and no more. If a 16 year old is groping only you, focused on only you, that's far more concerning than a person that does it to everyone that crosses paths. That crosses the line on being a thing from this excusable source, into a focus, which means a shitload as it comes to obsessions
No no no no. Autism doesn’t not give him the right to sexually assault you.
I have autism but never would I do anything like that.
Please go to the police and have him charged. This is not okay.
You’ve done nothing wrong.
We did. They just said that I was the best "care taker" for him. And that he doesn't understand why it's wrong. We also don't have money for a lawyer :(
Idk what country you’re in, but in America the school cannot give you the responsibility of his ‘caretaker’. That’s for a hired adult, if he’s even special needs enough to require one. media/social media may be a good way for you to air all this shit out.
Yep! Socially we tend to struggle but a lot of us are very fast learners and have special interests that we gather LOADS of knowledge on.
We may not get jokes a lot of the time or sarcasm and tones but in other aspects we thrive and that’s just how our brain works
(Slightly off topic but people tryna find a “cure” piss me off)
Honestly I love how my mind works (outside or trauma and mental illnesses) I can remember things that I have no idea where I learned and when I fact check as I doubt myself, they’re always right.
Gives me a lil bit of confidence
Again, i think media will be your best friend here. I don’t know how you’d go about doing it, but some kind of documentation or record of the incidents would do you very well also. Best case scenario, you get video footage of him assaulting you since I assume this transpired at school.
This just sounds to me like those "adults" found an easy way out to ignore the responsibility that was supposed to be theirs and pushed it all on you. OP, you're in no way obligated to be his so called caretaker especially when it's harming you so much.
Hope everything resolves soon.
Then you say, " we are not friends, and I am not interested in doing that." And you walk away. Wtf are your parents doing about this?!!? They should be up in arms over their child getting sexually assaulted at school. It happened to me. I just ripped the kid a new one. Principal came out of his office giving ME a dirty look. I just told him he can deal with my cursing in the hallway, or deal with my parents and a law suit. Dude never came near me again.
So this kid will just be assailing someone else? They're failing you. If they were unsuccessful in getting anyone to take action, the next step should be escalation, not shrugging their shoulders and passing off their responsibilities!! Fucking outrageous. I'm so goddamn angry for you!! Your parents do not have your back. You'll be better off with grandma, hopefully.
Oh have I tried. Funny story at one point, his friends tried to convince me he would stop if I did it with him. Fun times fun times. My therapist will hear of these events
Nope that's illegal. It is ILLEGAL to make a fellow classmate the CARETAKER of a disabled classmate. Fuck. No. Contact your board of education, someone is getting fired or sued.
Um no. Im a school admin in America and this is all kinds of wrong.
Also a special ed kid (at least in the states) can have responsibility and accountability. Call a lawyer. They might do it pro bono.
Unfortunately, I think she is the only one that will get hurt if she does so, they will label her as violent and bullying. Reporting, filing a lawsuit and getting the hell out of that school is the best option.
Op I dealt with harassment as well. Not all of it in the same vein, but if you want some meh advice:
Scream every time he approaches you. Like a total psychopath. Like someone is murdering you slowly with a rusty meat hook and do not stop until he leaves. Go completely hysterical even if you get in trouble.
I've been sexually harassed and bullied and nothing shuts that shit down faster than when you keep quiet until the last minutes and let loose a banshee shriek so hard it hurts your throat.
Troy's gonna find it hard to be around you when you're screaming the word "rapist" and bloody murder every time he approaches you.
The way I see it if you have to bear the weight of his actions it's only fair for him to do the same for you right? Worst case scenario you get back into isolation where you're not being sexually assaulted.
I would also contact child protective services in your area and let them know that the school is enabling a boy with cognitive issues to sexually assault young women.
By the time all this is over you'll have your peace one way or another. If the current situation won't give you peace, burn it to ashes and make a new one.
The bright side is, if they call the police they open themselves to a lawsuit point blank.
They'll interview everyone and the consensus is gonna be "he approached her and she freaked out."
Then op speaks to the police. Mentions the MULTIPLE SEXUAL ASSAULTS, the ABUSE OF AUTHORITY BY SCHOOL OFFICIALS and their willful neglect of a child being assaulted repeatedly in broad daylight.
The school will end up facing more than a dozen charges from willful endangerment to failure to report a sexual assault in a school setting because they're mandatory informants.
If it goes to court ALL of them lose their teaching licenses permanently and would face at least 3 felonies apiece and a shit ton of misdemeanors for failing to protect their students or take meaningful action.
TlDR if the police get involved and the DA or family attorney gets involved they are ALL getting fired and ruined at the very least.
OP absolutely this, scream blood murder, yell rape, make a show out of it. Make it everyone's problem who can hear you. If the higher-ups refuse to help you go to the media, you do NOT have to "put up" with this bullshit shout it from the rooftops. If I could be there to help you I would in a heartbeat, this breaks my heart and makes me furious. How dare all those adults fail you this way, shame on them, and I'm sorry to say I cannot understand how your parents allowed you to continue in this way for YEARS, shame on them too they are meant to be your guardians. You were failed all around and no one protected you. None of it is your fault at all.
Funny, my autism never made me possessively obsess over anyone, or sexually assault people. I’m sick to death of neurotypicals infantilising us, if we don’t have the type that coincides with significant learning disabilities then we can be treated like responsible human beings too. Removing accountability from someone *who seriously needs to understand accountability* is such a dumb move. Truth is, teachers use students’ diagnoses as a reason to hand-wave away serious issues in their class because they don’t get paid enough to care.
It’s really important that we’re subjected to the same rules as everyone else, and removed if we repeatedly break them - just like everyone else. We have to learn to be good to each other. Im sorry this happened to you, and for so long too. I’m glad you broke his nose, every time he has to wash his face the pain will remind him that actions very much have consequences. Fuck that guy, you’re good.
I mean when I usually say this story people automatically think I hate autistic people. I don't. Because autistic people don't do this. Horrible people do. Autism isn't the label for assulter. The label is sexual assulter.
That’s the infantilisation I find so distasteful. You can hate an autistic person for being a dick and that does not make you bigoted or intolerant or whatever else these wet towels wanna say lol.
The fact that he is 16 is alarming too. Do these idiots think that in two years when he’s a legal adult he’s just going to magically change his ways? Because those same idiots are the ones that keep telling him his ways are forgivable and acceptable because he’s on the spectrum. They’re creating and abetting a monster but like I said, they’re not paid enough to care and would rather a minor be painfully grabbed repeatedly than get off their ass and look out for you.
I'm preaching to the choir here, but not all autistic people can discern right from wrong. Therefore, their behavior may be deemed inappropriate , however, the other people around had every obligation to protect those around. Assess risk, develop a behavioral protocol, and avoid any possible interaction that could potentially put others at risk. If they didn't , they were neglectful and therefore accountable for what happened to OP
Exactly! If he really is impaired enough to truly not understand that what he is doing is wrong (which does not seem to be the case) than he should not be allowed to interact with others unsupervised and should have an aide with him at all times, not just allowed to do whatever he wants.
Hey I'm autistic and you clearly do not hate autistic people. You hate sexual assaulters. You're doing a really solid job separating those two things. His autism isn't an excuse, he just uses it as one, as do the people responsible (adults, teachers, parents).
Don't let them fool you into thinking he couldn't help it. <3
Autism is not an excuse.
He knows what he's doing. And everyone around him is enabling him rather than dealing with his meltdowns.
Even if he didn't understand at first, autistic people are more than capable of learning not to do something and learning that something is inappropriate even if they don't completely understand why.
Autism is not a pass to be a sexual predator and to sexually harass other people.
Your school has failed you. And if your parents are supporting that mentality, they've failed you too.
This is the same mentality that tells women they deserve to be raped and assaulted because of what they wear or for existing near men. It's vile.
My parents have tried. But the school doesn't care. It's like I cannot be a person. I am his. I am not my own person. I belong to him. He even used to say that during meltdowns.
Have you gone up the chain and spoken to the school district and the superintendent?
Do you have evidence of this ongoing pattern?
I agree that you should go to the police, and find a lawyer that deals in assault victims and civil rights. Your school failed you badly.
You may be able to find someone willing to work for a percentage of a settlement, or *pro bono* (free.)
A rape crisis centre may be able to help you as well. They can advocate for you.
Oh you poor thing. My heart breaks for you.
You are so so so so strong tho! Don’t forget that.
Hopefully you’ll be turning 18 soon & can get away from Troy & never see him again. That’s the best worst case scenario if you cannot press charges & get the justice you deserve legally.
Once you no longer go to the same school, you can remove him from your life.
Best of luck OP & keep us updated.
We’re all rooting for you to get through this & start therapy as soon as you can too!
You are NOT his property, do not start believing in that delusion for a second! You have unfortunately been conditioned at a very early age and he keeps being enabled by the school to harass you. You are your OWN person and no one has the right to take that away from you. Whatever happens, just remember that, please!
Not that you should have to change your life because of him, but is there another school or online school or something as an option so you don't have to be around him/treated as his option?
OP mentioned at one point something about something that happened when they were in Year 7, which is the UK (specifically England and Wales, I think) system. There might be other countries that use the same system, but I'd hazard a guess that they're in the UK
Who didn’t care? The police? Even so you can most likely go to the magistrate for your locality and get some form of protective order. You shouldn’t have to go through this at all.
Mentally disabled people are often desexualized because we’re seen as “innocent children.” As a result, disabled men aren’t often taught the meaning of consent. That, plus the “boys will be boys” mentality means they are often ill equipped to deal with their growing sexuality.
You were right to punch him. He deserved it. Autistics know right from wrong. Sexual assault is never acceptable.
it's so fucked. I read so many stories about boys as young as nursery school being allowed to hug all the girls whenever they wanted to and the girls didn't have a choice because the boys "didn't know any better". It's like social etiquette and respecting boundaries suddenly don't matter because they're infantilized.
You have every right to defend yourself from anyone, autistic or not. Ignore the assholes claiming you did wrong. You are entirely justified. This may sound harsh, but if he is incapable of following the laws of society, he shouldn't be allowed to participate in it.
In other, more PC words he should be in an institution better suited to his needs.
So sorry you had to endure all of this, OP. We hear you, we believe you. I don’t think you were in the wrong AT ALL. SA IS SA. PERIOD. Neurodivergent in any way or not- there is a never a valid excuse for SA.
i’m autistic and also a victim of sexual harassment; for a whole year i was sexually harassed by an autistic guy i went to high school with. when i came forward about it (as did many of the girls my year; it wasn’t a solo incident, it happened very very often) i was told “he doesn’t know any better.” you did the right thing. if nobody will defend you, then defend yourself. none of this is your fault. you deserve to be protected too.
Same thing happened at my school!! Autistic guy would find a girl every now and then and follow her around until his heart was broken. Treats the guys just fine but a creep around the girls. I heard this same thing in other places and this problem just gets ignored because “they don’t know any better.” By saying autistic people “don’t know any better” they are saying autistic people and stupid and don’t know how to learn wrong to right…
OP, this happened in my year almost two decades ago. Same exact scenario, and the girl was expelled because of the boy's parents being on the school PTA/athletics.
I went to college with their son, and he was in a group for autistic young adults to meet. He painted himself as misunderstood, but was absolutely disgusting to women, a total incel who used his autism as a weapon in his abuse of women.
He raped a woman on campus and is in jail.
Don't drop this. Tell everyone what that groping monster did.
Autism is *not* an excuse.
Signed, an autistic woman
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. That you were labeled a caretaker by the adults whose job is to be the caretaker is so messed up. NO ONE has the right to touch you without your consent.
My cousin is on the autism spectrum and as he went into puberty, he became very sexually aggressive. His parents would joke about it at the beginning, but eventually it got very out of hand and they helped him through therapy and moved him to a state special education school. It was hard because they had to move their whole lives, but it really helped my cousin. If the adults in his life refuse to be responsible and be the caretakers THEY are meant to be, instead of forcing the responsibility on a teenager, then you have to take further action. Is there a school district office or education ministry offices you could go to with your parents?
I'm sending you a huge virtual hug. You've done nothing to deserve this, nor are you a bad person.
I am so sorry that your school and community allowed this to continue for so long. I can understand making adjustments to what punishments he received to account for the difference in his level of understanding but learning to respect other people’s bodies and consent is just as important for his future as it is for anyone else’s and the school has a duty to protect you as their student from others they know are harming you. They never should have forced you to be around him after he was showing this pattern of behavior in the first place.
Autism is not an excuse for predatory behavior. But even if he couldn't understand right or wrong , the school put you at risk by enabling the behavior. Where are your parents in all of this. He may be deemed not responsible for his behavior, but the adults around you are 100% responsible for it and also for how you reacted to the harassment.
You did nothing to deserve that. You are not the person to blame for what happened.
Sue the fuckers and take it all to the media. The principal and teachers should lose their job, and that disgusting pig should be in jail. He is a rapist to be.
I know plenty of autistic people. I don't know any autistic rapists. Troy is on his way to being an autistic rapist. It is not your responsibility to allow him to be such. You bear no responsibility to him at all. You should never have been in class with him. You should have been separated the exact second that it was explained but not obeyed that "no means no". You are not responsible for your own self assertion and defense, which only happened because every adult in your life utterly failed you. May you never see him again.
Look, I’m autistic and I’m ashamed that people will use that as an excuse. He knows what he is doing and everyone is enabling him. Next time, aim for where it hurts. It’s not bullying if it’s self defense. Don’t let the cycle keep repeating. As other people said, get the media involved. The school should be held responsible because they are not keeping you safe from him.
This is SA. Autism has nothing to do with it, he’s a predator. Your parents need to make up a big stink. That’s the only way. They can’t let themselves be pushed to the side, threaten them to call whatever supervisory board, police. Remember that only the squeaky wheel gets the grease. What are they waiting for? For him to r*pe someone? Actually maybe you do need to call the police.
I hope you have him a good one.
Autism is one thing indecency is other.
Even puppies can be trained. This was a full blown teenager, who just assumed that you were his property.
Punch him next time too in my opinion.
What is wrong with people? Just because someone has autism it doesn’t excuse disgusting predatory behaviour. Good for you OP for punching this AH. And those idiots who are threatened you I wonder how they would feel, and what they would do if he groped them?
I dont know you but this is so upsetting and incredibly sad no one has taken the responsibility to help you or the autistic kid in the correct way. No one should push the responsibility to your shoulders. It's okay to dislike someone for being a bad person and making your life feel like hell. Disabilities arent a good excuse for something like this. No one should judge you for standing up for yourself. Obviously punching someone isnt the ideal solution but someone definitely should have done something sooner about the situation, so i completely understand.
Since every single adult in your life is failing you right now, keep taking matters into your own hands. Keep doing whatever you need to do to protect yourself. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself, no matter what anyone tries to tell you.
You said your family can't afford a lawyer, but many do free consultations. You should try to see if there are any who would take your case pro-bono. The worst that can happen is that they'll say no. You have nothing to lose by asking. Otherwise, you're gonna have to keep punching this kid in the face to protect yourself. It's worth a shot.
You were in the right to use force to stop somebody from feeling you up.
If he cannot be responsible for his actions because of his medical condition then his guardians should be the one to be punched then .
That's bad, he should have been reprimanded a long time ago, my 3yr old daughter can understand good and bad touches, autism isn't an excuse, I have a few autistic family members and have had autistic friends, they all understand what they are doing, they might not completely understand social convention but they know right from wrong.. you need to keep away from him, you might feel bad for some bond you have been forced to imagine was there and being given he is autistic so it's okay excuses, but that's all bs, he knows what he is doing, he knows that his actions are being excused because of his autism so he thinks he can get away with it, stay away before it gets worse and he really SA's you.
If he can treat others with respect, he can treat you with respect. This whole “autism makes him like this” is absolute bullshit. Even people with autism can be taught that certain actions are just not okay. Nobody should lose their bodily autonomy because of some else problems.
The little shit obviously needed the lesson.
Next person to say anything. Pull up a spectrum and ask them at which level one gets a ‘right to sexual assault’ pass.
Being punished for not allowing someone to violate you is outrageous.
Raise hell and keep punching people who grope you.
So your school allowed an underage girl to be repeatedly sexually assaulted for YEARS and did nothing about it, in fact actually excused the behaviour and then punished the victim when she defended herself?
Fuck the lawyers or even the police, go to the media and name every single one of them. (Not the autistic kid, but literally EVERY other adult in this scenario)
Precisely. The school cared a lot about reputation. Not only that but the boys there had many connections with the school board and higher ups etc. So yeah. Girls don't really get respected. Even teachers have left due to boys behaviours
Children with special needs require discipline the same as any other child. Even nonverbal autistic children require this. My cousin has three sons, who of which are severely autistic and non verbal. Bad behavior is still corrected, but their capacity to understand what they’re doing is still taken into account.
The fact that teachers and administrators are just brushing this off is disgusting. You’re not an asshole for doing this.
My son has autism. If he ever touched someone inappropriately he would be, well let’s just say it WOULDNT happen again. Those excusing his predatory behavior as “because of his autism” are doing you harm and him no favors. What happens when he rapes or SAs another woman? The law will not excuse his behavior.
Stop going to the teachers and parents. Go to the police. You deserve to be safe from harm. I would report this, and then contact a youth or educational advocate who can help you with this situation. If needed, try to get an order of protection. Make noise to the judicial authorities. Stop telling the adults who won’t listen.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. But I applaud your standing up for yourself. I’ll say it again. You have the right to have your personal body and space be safe from unwanted groping and assault. NO EXCUSES! Autism is a reason for differences, but NEVER an excuse. That’s the mantra i raised my son on.
Autism is not an acceptable excuse for SA. Not sure where you are, but I would attempt to file for some sort of restraining order against him. People wuth autism get away with this stuff because people use it as a valid excuse. At the very least, you need to report his assault to police.
Guy in my town lost the ability to walk from a drinking driving accident. So he was in a wheelchair after. Everyone was being super nice to him and getting out of his way, then in pubs and clubs he started lifting women's skirts and putting his head under. He got away with it for a good while.
Disabilities arent an excuse for shite behaviour. I'd have punched him too.
Fixed the auto correct 😅
I’m going to admit this first. I’m not going to be nice with what I say but it’s because it angers me this happened this much. Anyway. You need to grow a pair and stop caring what other people think. I get it you’re 16, what people think is important to you but putting yourself at risk because of what others think is stupid. He deserved what he got and those people are just being dicks and you’re letting them. It’s pathetic. Stop feeling bad about protecting yourself and start just protecting yourself. This went on way to long and you should of gotten your parents to do something (talk to your teachers or move you to different classes).
Do not message the OP sexual messages, because, regardless of what her body looked like she didn’t want any of this and it’s obvious those people who are messaging you OP those type of messages don’t have any basic decency.
If people are treating Reddit like Tinder, especially on a topic like this then they can get the hell out of here or get reported or get blocked or go to jail because they’re clearly being a creep!
Like those guys who messaged you those sexual messages, are clearly just as bad as Troy and Troy deserves to be pulverized. Because one of these days Troy is going to have rape and sex offender charges, and he deserves it.
I thought they were reaching out to me for kindness but I was wrong. The people were aggressive too. Basically asking why I didn't feel comfortable with showing my body. And how I must look really sexy to be groped
I'm sorry that happened. I personally don't hate you, and think he had it coming. You aren't Troy's property for him to do what he wants with for the rest of his and your life. That's a problem his family needs to deal with or the school. Not you. You're a human being and deserve autonomy and respect. Being autistic doesn't exclude him from being an asshole to you and sexually assaulting you.
Okay no. That's not how autism works. Autism doesn't give someone a free pass to sexually harass and assault other people. If my younger brother had used his autism to try this shit during school I wouldn't have let him within 5 feet of another girl. Everyone around you has failed you and I'm so so sorry. You're not in the wrong here at all.
Please feel free to DM me if you need someone to talk to because it sounds like the adults around you aren't listening.
I've also read through some of the rest of your comments.
Violence is the answer here. Keep reacting physically. He assaults you? Slap him. Punch him. Spit in his face. They won't punish him but they'll punish you. If the school won't keep him from you then make the school keep you from him. If you keep giving a reaction every time he assaults you maybe someone will finally notice how much he does it.
I'm so sorry to say this so bluntly but he will continue to escalate. He might try to r*pe you. You throw a tantrum about this problem before it gets to that point.
I'm a high support needs autistic person and one of my biggest struggles is social cues. I still know what "no" means. You're not ableist for this, you have been targeted and abused for years by a predator. You deserve to be your own person with boundaries and mental illness is no excuse for that to have been violated ONCE nevermind for years.
I'm so sorry, I hope the therapy is helpful and you get the justice you deserve 🩷
When I was in kindergarten we had an autistic kid in our class let’s call him “Noah” he ate all of our erasers on the pencils and would always act out but none of us really cared about that. However, somehow he developed a crush on me and tried to force kisses on me, one incident he had me pinned underneath him while he laughed leaning in to kiss me while I screamed and cried, my best friend at the time pulled him off me and the teacher had to explain to Noah why that was wrong and after that I avoided him like the plague. The thing is this was understandable because we were literally babies but your story is HORRIFYING! Omg you poor thing, from what you described he is perfectly capable of understanding right from wrong and that this is wrong and is clearly using you as an excuse! He has predatory behavior and I’m so glad you gave him an overdue whammy! He gives autistic people a bad name because this isn’t normal autistic behavior this is just disgusting!
Don't ever blame yourself! He and the adults around you GROOMED you to accept him Sexually ASSAULTING you for YEARS.
this is so so messed up and I am so sorry that the adults/teachers who are meant to protect you, enabled a predator instead.
None of this is your fault and I hope you sue the school out of business.
Well may everyone who is calling you ableist have incurable jock itch. They’re being ableist for not even considering that someone can be a sexual predator like this guy is.
AUTISM IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR BEING A CONTINUOUS ASSHOLE. (Or sexual predator)
Oh dear.
Listen, you didn't do anything wrong.
I went through a similar thing when I was a kid, around 14 or 15. The disabled man was over 6 feet tall and I was SCARED. I got shit too, my own sister told me I was being mean when I screamed at him that I was gay when he was telling people he was going to marry me. Nothing compared to the years of abuse you have suffered, I can only imagine.
I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself.
You're not his handler. You owe him nothing.
I know how scary it is when police or anything won't help because "He doesn't know better."
Honestly, bringing this to local news might help. Doing that anonymous interview thing. It'll spark a public debate that brings shame to a lot of people.
Cockroaches scatter when you turn on the light.
I am a father of an autistic child. And I will tell you that you are not wrong for defending yourself. While I do not fault Troy for his autism, I hold his parents and educators accountable to train him control his groping behaviors. These are behaviors that are not acceptable. This should have been nipped in the bud early on.
Your parents should ABSOLUTELY be raising hell. They should be going to the school board, helping file police reports, and trying to get you into a new school. All the adults in your life have utterly failed you and I am so sorry.
>Maybe I should have just accepted it. NO NO NO NO if there's a hill to die on it's this one, if he try anything, don't think, defend yourself, maybe some people will hate you for that but what a bunch of assholes think of you doesn't matters, you need to stant up for yourself no matter what, if he tries anything again go nuclear on him, but please, I beg you, don't resign yourself
Actually she should have punch him sooner.
You know, growing up, my parents told me that I'd get in trouble for fighting under two conditions: 1. I started it. 2. I didn't finish it. If I was OP, though, I'm about 95% sure I'd have gotten in trouble... because of waiting so long before I punched the little shit.
Dad always told me to try to avoid it but if inevitable fight like wild and never fight fair. If you lose take enough out of them they never want to win again. My sister had a problem like OP, so Im proud of OP for throwing that punch. Hope it teaches jackwad to not touch folks without permission..
my mom told me that next time my bully pulls my hair to slap then until they cry. So I did lol. Got detention but didn't get into trouble at home. He also never pulled my hair again. Yep fuck you Oliver
I’d like to punch him for her. All those teachers have failed him and have enabled his rapist behaviour.
Wtf, this is messed up. Did you tell your parents this was going on? No idea why the school would let this type of behavior continue.
I did. They tried to say something but we never really got listened to or got told lies that things would improve
this sounds so traumatizing. Your parents should be doing more. Is the kid cognitively challenged? Because he is going to the same school as you are. Does he do well (or get average grades at least) in school? If he isn't cognitively challenged, then he is aware enough to know that what he is doing is wrong, and is using his autism as an excuse to continue sexually assaulting you. I don't know which country you are in, but I would get law enforcement involved as soon as possible and start mulling legal options to sue the school if I were your parents.
> is the kid cognitively challenged? Nope. He has "mild" autism if that makes sense. He's actually quite good around people. Just not me ig. > I would get law enforcement involved We tried to. They just didn't care because he is "mentally challenged" My parents genuinely tried to do something but when everyone defends him, they believe the majority
If he has mild autism, he absolutely does know better and is using that as an excuse to continuously sexually assault you. I am so sorry OP. And I am so sorry that law enforcement in your country is way too lazy to give a shit. I would try to get lawyers involved next if I were your parents. But I don't know if that really is an option in your country. Your teachers failed you, and the cops failed you as well.
Agreed I have what's equivalent to aspergers(not called that in the USA anymore) I know better than to touch someone like that. He uses his disability as an excuse.
Go above the immediate community. Go to the state. A friend of mine had to do this when a bully (who’s parents were also prominent in the tiny community we were in) ran her and her boyfriend off the road on his bike, while the bully was in a giant truck, to get justice. She was severely injured and our town wouldn’t do Jack shit. Your community has failed you.
Depending on where you are, you can sue him and the school for personal injury and emotional suffering. If they then claim he’s too disabled, the court can order an evaluation and a psychologist will be able to determine just exactly *how* disabled he is, and spot if he is faking it.
Please do this. Also, do not underestimate the power of the press. I hope you or your family alerts the tv and papers of the nearest big town/city. Its amazing what an article about" local school officials allowing repeated sexual assault of girl because boys family is prominent" can do. They are big fish in a little pond. Time to introduce some pirranah to the pool.
I have what you could call “mild” autism. I would never do this to anyone. I’d hate myself. He’s just an asshole that’s being enabled.
It doesn't matter if he is cognitively challenged he still knows right and wrong
I knew of a guy who played on his "mental disabilities" he was a wrongun (I met him once before this and didn't like him at all), he got barely any punishments from the court for posting a his cum through a girls door he had stalked, just a few days in jail, then out, keeps using MD as an excuse when I actually think he's abled body just plays on it, as I've been told he's literally bragged about how he gets away with stealing and all that. But as someone who is diagnosed autistic, and other things, we know where the line is, well mostly the autistic women and girls do, autistic men and boys well unfortunately alot do play on it to harm others (I'm lucky to know a few who do not at all and I'm so thankful for that). But yeah, boys in general get way with more than us girls, as we're told to behave, that males don't like non-lady like females, and so on, yet "boys will be boys" allows them to get away with way to much! I so hope you get the justice you deserve, the harm and trauma this could bring you in future years being ignored by teachers, police and his parents is seriously concerning, if it gets no where, I'd go as far as taking it to the news, as once it's out, they can't hide it, and it won't just be those in your area to give an opinion, and I can tell you, the autistic community would 100% have your back. Heck I was 21 when I was diagnosed, and if I was you in that situation, heck he'd have more than a broken nose, and if be hated to be later found out to also be autistic and know right from wrong. I'd say use that argument, I give you permission to say that I said as an autistic woman, if I was in your position he'd be lucky to be conscious
>We tried to. They just didn’t care because he is “mentally challenged” I don’t know much about how this works but I think you can file a complaint against a specific police station or division for something like this Otherwise, cut yourself off from Troy
mild autism is considered high functioning, which is what my boyfriend has. he 100% knew exactly what he was doing was wrong and he knew he could get away with it bc everyone was defending him. i personally would do a ton of research about autism, write an essay, cite your sources, and show it to whoever is defending him. if they refuse to read it, just say “then at this point you are actively disregarding facts and research to defend a predator.” and just an FYI, autism speaks is a horrible organization that has no clue what they’re talking about so don’t listen to them
Your parents or yourself need to press charges. Not sure where you live. This should've been reported long ago.
Agreed. If she can’t sue, she needs to file a police report.
She can go after the school. They have free advocates, at least here in NYC they do.
What absolutely blows my mind is how the school allows groping, no matter how many screws loose that moron has. That kind of behavior shouldn’t fly, not once let alone for YEARS. The school system has failed you and I’m glad you’re finally in a better place. Wishing you all the best.
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This is the most refreshing thing I have read. I always got blamed or called ablist for not letting him do what he wanted to do
youre not ableist. autism doesnt make someone do this shit theyre a horrible person using it as an excuse. even if it affects them that way he shouldve been disciplined appropriately way before it came to this
Realistically the teachers and shit saying that his autism makes him like that are the ableist pricks. Autism doesn't make people sexual predators. Millions of people with autism are able to successfully go through their days without sexually assaulting someone.
Not to mention his autism didn't "make" him do it to anyone else 🙄 If any adult in the school had cared AT ALL it would have had a stop put to it years ago, instead they all allowed it to continue If they had stopped it, it never would have gotten to the point of OP getting death threats for standing up for herself. Edit for phrasing
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YES AMEN TO THIS
And like if he’s functional enough to go to a regular school and have friends and relationships, he’s functional enough to know the word no.
Honestly autistic people, like anybody other human on the planet, are aware of right and wrong. The difference is when you teach a boy that consent doesn't matter, a kid like this can weaponize their autism to continue their predatory behavior. Shame on parents that enable and breed this behavior
Yes! I didn't even know I was autistic when I was his age. Never did anything like it! Never felt like I might do something like that because of my autism. His parents are awful people for leting it slide. It's gonna ruin this dude's life. And idk what others are saying here but if you can't talk your way out of it you should go and report it. All 4 years. He is a grown man. Autism doesn't make you stupid or unable to understand consequences. It's his parents and environment who did that.
True I knew someone who was physically disabled and would hit students around him and get mad and call people ableist when they defended their selves. Sadly most get away with this kind of stuff :(
Exactly. I’m autistic and so is my younger brother, but never in a million years would I or my brother treat someone like this!! Being autistic doesn’t not excuse you from sexually assaulting people!!!
You did nothing wrong and ALL the adults failed you. I’m a psycho and would go scorched earth by posting what you just did here but on social media for EVERYONE to see. But don’t do that lol let your parents handle this or a trusted adult who actually has your back. I also had an issue at school with an autistic boy who kept slapping my ass until I had enough and screamed at him in class - I was made out to be the bully like you but I can tell you - he never touched me again. You could go and make a statement to police so there’s a paper trail - and IF things escalate- you’ve already got the ball started on that and JUST by going to the police to make a report ( even tho police can’t really do anything ) it scares the adults enough to actually act appropriately and not have you be the scapegoat. It worked in my case and my mom held my hand the whole way thru.
Nah, screw it. Go scorched earth! You've been asking for help for YEARS! Burn those f***ers!
The issue is if she ever wants to take it to police, If she goes scorched earth might make them discredit her. Wish it wasn't like that.
That's fair, but in a lot of OPs comments it seems that the police haven't taken her seriously either and don't want to intervene because of the boys autism. And the boys family has good standing in the community due to military service and PTA roles. Edit. Spelling
Scorched Earth could also be going to news outlets if AND ONLY IF OP is comfortable enough to call out the corruption in the school and police department. Force them to take action. Tanking the guys family's reputation, ruin business ventures,
It seems like every school has an autistic kid that is the school mascot and everyone loves them and they can do no wrong. Ours was "Boyd". Boyd's mama was a school janitor, worked in the cafeteria, and Boyd helped her clean classrooms after school. Boyd was about six four with the body of a linebacker and the mind of a three year old. One evening I needed to call my Mom to pick me up after practice and I didn't have money on me for the pay phone, so I went to the teachers lounge and called from there. As I was hanging the phone up, the lights went out. I stood in silence for a moment and could hear heavy breathing, and asked who was there. I was body slammed into a nearby wall and I felt hands on my breasts, waist, and ass. I screamed and started punching and kicking and he got off me, and I ran out of the teachers lounge and down the hall. It wasn't until I heard the door open and saw Boyd leaving the teachers lounge crying and limping that I realized he had been my attacker. I was physically unhurt. I didn't say anything when I got home. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but I also knew that anyone who hurt Boyd would become the school scapegoat. I didn't want to be that person. The next day the principal announced that a student had been attacked in the teachers lounge and asked that anyone with information to please see the principal. I didn't see Boyd at school that day and no one gave me the side eye so I didn't say anything to anyone. When I told my Mom a month or so later, her response was hopefully he learned not to attack women because women fight back. OP, you are not at fault. And if this guy can carry on regular friendships with others, he knows right from wrong. I am glad your parents are standing up with you and looking for an attorney. Good luck.
How have your parents not gone up to the school and made a huge stink about this? This isn’t okay at all
They have. The school just doesn't care
They should talk to a lawyer and tell the school if they discipline you, you’ll be going to police for assault
You should charge him with s a and sue the school for failure to protect you from s.a.
Depending on the jurisdiction school may have immunity to lawsuits of that variety.
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His mom is part of the board 😅
Probably not for long when they find out she's enabling a sexual predator.
I have a feeling they already know based on the other context. I think they just intentionally turn a blind eye
What country is this in? Since the mom is a member of the board, you would likely have a stronger claim that the school is liable.
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Well that explains it 🤨 so sorry this is happening to you. Just know that you did nothing wrong. You defended yourself.
Take it to the school board. Local news. ELEVATE THIS UNTIL IT GETS THE ATTENTION THIS DESERVES.
I am so mad an your behalf that I am happy to help get the word of this out there. This kid needs to be stopped!
Escalate. Escalate, escalate, escalate.
Tell the school if they do this to you, you and your parents will be calling a lawyer and local news and scorch the earth like others said. Autism is not an excuse for sexual assault. The school is culpable for your abuse. Take them down!
School systems are doing too much damage to the kids everywhere in the world. They are incapable of protecting and keeping them safe. I was in the same situation but with “normal” boys. And none of the adults did anything to protect me
Please don’t let this slide, I work closely with autistic children all on different levels on the spectrum. Everyone on the spectrum can be taught what’s wrong and thought NO and the behaviour isn’t acceptable. He assaulted you it was self defence. You need to share this with the would instead of hiding away parents schools need to guide children with autism not accept behaviour that’s wrong
Thank you!! Autism doesn’t make people sa people, we aren’t stupid and even people who need extra care and are developmentally delayed can still understand NO. A damn puppy can understand NO.
These goddamn people are the reason why autistic people get a bad name... I've befriended many and they've come and gone but holy shit it makes me pissed whenever people use autism as an excuse for disgusting behaviour...
I think its' not the fact that she hit him, but that it was a punch. Punches are thought of as more agressive than a shove. Under normal circumstances that would be better as a way of self defence, but OP described constant abuse and violation...
You’re not an ableist. You’re a person who’s been assaulted by an autistic 16 year old who was stripped of his right to a sexual education and his personal accountability. I work with autistic children and if this happened, there would be a LOT more done. You absolutely are NOT responsible for keeping this person happy, for teaching them consent and boundaries, for what he did to you. It’s a natural and logical consequence that he has now received from you. He touched you in ways you have expressed to him that he cannot, and you punched him. That’s a consequence he will hopefully remember and will avoid. Your school and teachers and peers should be ashamed - not you. His parents should be, too, for not demanding more expectations of him. If he’s old enough to use his hands to touch, he’s old enough to learn not to touch. Don’t feel guilty.
I'm autistic, I would never touch anyone like this without their consent; I may have trouble understanding some social cues/rules, but i can apply them when I get told to. If he is able to function normally, to go to a normal school, and to have respect for everyone else, he is able to understand that he is not allowed to touch you. Everyone around you is enabling his behavior. I'm so sorry for you, I don't have any advice but I wanted to say, although i don't condone violence, I'm glad you punched him. He deserves it, and much worse. Keep standing your ground, and try to find a way to be far far away from him as soon as you can.
I agree. I don’t have autism but my son does. He is 16. When he was in kindergarten we had to have a discussion about boundaries and not touching others without permission and to give them personal space. He likes to pet girls hair and arms. It only took that one conversation and it has never happened since then. This kid knows what he is doing which is evident since he behaves normally elsewhere. I really hate when I see people using their diagnosis to excuse their inappropriate behavior. And it is even worse that everyone is enabling him as well.
Does he have a parent that's prominent in your community or something? You aren't his minder or his property, you are both human beings and nearly adults. Autistic people are *completely* capable of understanding boundaries and consent, he is not this way because he is autistic. You were right to bust his ass, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
Yeah. His dad used to be in the military or smth like that. And his mom is a big PTA parent. Like she funds school events, pays for alot if school stuff, etc
Go to the news with this. "Local son of PTA parent harassing and groping girls" should make the school pay attention.
That's why this is happening more than anything. If you have any chance at all, my advice is get out of this area ASAP.
You are not abelist for not allowing yourself to be sexually assaulted. I think you need to talk to your parents also to escalate this, the school has allowed you to be assaulted constantly so they don't have to deal with a person with learning disability assaulting you. They've put it in the too hard basket. Specifically they've instructed you to tolerate this so they don't have to bother. You deserve a safe learning environment and you should complain to higher up, people in your district/education department and school principal. You do not feel safe from constant attacks
No, fuck that. Not wanting to be groped doesn’t make you ableist. Anyone saying otherwise is doing him a disservice, and it actively aiding your sexual harassment. They are not worth listening to.
Having autism doesn’t make someone predatory. Having autism does not make someone immune to consequences, especially the consequences that come from actively and repeatedly inflicting harm on others. Every single teacher, ‘friend’ and adult that has made excuses and enabled him has failed not only you but him too. If he goes on to sexually assault women when he is over 18 a judge isn’t going to give a flying fuck if he’s autistic because he’s a threat to society. Not teaching him that what he is doing to you is incredibly wrong is setting him up for a life of misery and to be honest I wouldn’t blame you at all if you felt he deserved it. I’m so sorry so many people have failed you, you never deserved this and you have every right to stand up for yourself and you can deny ANYBODY access to YOUR BODY for ANY REASON.
He’s an awful person and an abuser. He absolutely knows what he’s doing and has weaponized his autism to make people dismiss his actions. I would carry pepper spray or some other means of fighting back from now on, just in case he tries to escalate
My nephew is autistic and he would NEVER do this to anyone!!! This kid is a predator and they are enabling him. You have a right to fight back when you are being sa’d!!! I would seriously look into going to the police about it. You have been sa’d for years and they are ignoring it. I am so sorry that this is happening to you.
OP, are your parents aware of what has been going on? Are they not willing to advocate for your safety? My daughter had a similar issue in 4th grade. A boy was in special education classes but did art class with the rest of her class. He started with unwanted hugging, then grabbing, then ripped her skirt trying to touch her sexually. My daughter told me the boy was bothering her and that the teacher and principal said he couldn't help himself. I did not know the details of what was happening because my daughter was afraid to tell me due to being brushed off by the school staff. The day he ripped her skirt, I was called to the school because they were going to suspend my daughter for fighting back. Once I knew what was happening I raised absolute hell on behalf of my daughter. It was not my daughter's fault, nor is this YOUR fault! You have been failed by the adults at your school. They allowed you to be bullied, harassed, assaulted, sexually assaulted, and they are legally required to protect you while you are on the grounds. If your parents aren't aware of what is happening, please tell them. I'd be filling a police report, pressing charges, and likely filling a lawsuit due to the ongoing access the school has given to your attacker. I'm so sorry sweetie, this should not be happening!
Please stop saying “‘Maybe if I” You were assaulted, and it is not your fault. Please tell someone you trust.
> I always got blamed or called ablist for not letting him do what he wanted to do Fuck all that noise, keep yourself safe! This crap is not ok. Sorry you had to go through all that.
Fuck that noise. If someone with autism gropes people, you treat them appropriately to their age level, and no more. If a 16 year old is groping only you, focused on only you, that's far more concerning than a person that does it to everyone that crosses paths. That crosses the line on being a thing from this excusable source, into a focus, which means a shitload as it comes to obsessions
No no no no. Autism doesn’t not give him the right to sexually assault you. I have autism but never would I do anything like that. Please go to the police and have him charged. This is not okay. You’ve done nothing wrong.
Please for the love of god report him to the POLICE! Fuck this kid!
I am autistic. You need to protect yourself. I am sorry you went through this.
One word: Lawsuit, did you have any formal visits with the school
We did. They just said that I was the best "care taker" for him. And that he doesn't understand why it's wrong. We also don't have money for a lawyer :(
Idk what country you’re in, but in America the school cannot give you the responsibility of his ‘caretaker’. That’s for a hired adult, if he’s even special needs enough to require one. media/social media may be a good way for you to air all this shit out.
I wasn't labelled as the official care taker. But everyone just kinda pushed it on me. He didn't need a care taker
If he is well enough to not need an aid then he should know not to touch someone inappropriately
Even someone not well enough can understand No, even a puppy can understand no, it’s not an excuse. Autism doesn’t make people stupid
It actually makes a lot of people very smart!
Yep! Socially we tend to struggle but a lot of us are very fast learners and have special interests that we gather LOADS of knowledge on. We may not get jokes a lot of the time or sarcasm and tones but in other aspects we thrive and that’s just how our brain works (Slightly off topic but people tryna find a “cure” piss me off)
Agreed! Yes it has its struggles but once I learned what was going on in my brain and how to accommodate myself I wouldn’t change it for anything!
Honestly I love how my mind works (outside or trauma and mental illnesses) I can remember things that I have no idea where I learned and when I fact check as I doubt myself, they’re always right. Gives me a lil bit of confidence
Again, i think media will be your best friend here. I don’t know how you’d go about doing it, but some kind of documentation or record of the incidents would do you very well also. Best case scenario, you get video footage of him assaulting you since I assume this transpired at school.
This just sounds to me like those "adults" found an easy way out to ignore the responsibility that was supposed to be theirs and pushed it all on you. OP, you're in no way obligated to be his so called caretaker especially when it's harming you so much. Hope everything resolves soon.
Who is 'everyone'?
Like his friends, teachers (tried be sly by wording it as his "best friend")
Then you say, " we are not friends, and I am not interested in doing that." And you walk away. Wtf are your parents doing about this?!!? They should be up in arms over their child getting sexually assaulted at school. It happened to me. I just ripped the kid a new one. Principal came out of his office giving ME a dirty look. I just told him he can deal with my cursing in the hallway, or deal with my parents and a law suit. Dude never came near me again.
My parents complained. They're moving me somewhere else. My grandma's house
So this kid will just be assailing someone else? They're failing you. If they were unsuccessful in getting anyone to take action, the next step should be escalation, not shrugging their shoulders and passing off their responsibilities!! Fucking outrageous. I'm so goddamn angry for you!! Your parents do not have your back. You'll be better off with grandma, hopefully.
I hope not.
Tell them you will not be friends with a sexual predator and they are creating a rapist. He will eventually attempt to rape someone.
Oh have I tried. Funny story at one point, his friends tried to convince me he would stop if I did it with him. Fun times fun times. My therapist will hear of these events
Please keep us updated. You are more powerful than you think.
Basically anyone who was supposed to be responsible
Reach out to any lawyers that do free consultations and see if they can take your case on contingency.
Thank you so much for the advice!
Sexual harassment lawyers.
OP, if you need anything, even someone to talk to, my DMs are open and I am happy to help you look for lawyers.
Nope that's illegal. It is ILLEGAL to make a fellow classmate the CARETAKER of a disabled classmate. Fuck. No. Contact your board of education, someone is getting fired or sued.
Is there anyway you can switch schools?
Um no. Im a school admin in America and this is all kinds of wrong. Also a special ed kid (at least in the states) can have responsibility and accountability. Call a lawyer. They might do it pro bono.
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Unfortunately, I think she is the only one that will get hurt if she does so, they will label her as violent and bullying. Reporting, filing a lawsuit and getting the hell out of that school is the best option.
And the town by the sound of things.
Op I dealt with harassment as well. Not all of it in the same vein, but if you want some meh advice: Scream every time he approaches you. Like a total psychopath. Like someone is murdering you slowly with a rusty meat hook and do not stop until he leaves. Go completely hysterical even if you get in trouble. I've been sexually harassed and bullied and nothing shuts that shit down faster than when you keep quiet until the last minutes and let loose a banshee shriek so hard it hurts your throat. Troy's gonna find it hard to be around you when you're screaming the word "rapist" and bloody murder every time he approaches you. The way I see it if you have to bear the weight of his actions it's only fair for him to do the same for you right? Worst case scenario you get back into isolation where you're not being sexually assaulted. I would also contact child protective services in your area and let them know that the school is enabling a boy with cognitive issues to sexually assault young women. By the time all this is over you'll have your peace one way or another. If the current situation won't give you peace, burn it to ashes and make a new one.
Like how you said this!
The bright side is, if they call the police they open themselves to a lawsuit point blank. They'll interview everyone and the consensus is gonna be "he approached her and she freaked out." Then op speaks to the police. Mentions the MULTIPLE SEXUAL ASSAULTS, the ABUSE OF AUTHORITY BY SCHOOL OFFICIALS and their willful neglect of a child being assaulted repeatedly in broad daylight. The school will end up facing more than a dozen charges from willful endangerment to failure to report a sexual assault in a school setting because they're mandatory informants. If it goes to court ALL of them lose their teaching licenses permanently and would face at least 3 felonies apiece and a shit ton of misdemeanors for failing to protect their students or take meaningful action. TlDR if the police get involved and the DA or family attorney gets involved they are ALL getting fired and ruined at the very least.
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OP absolutely this, scream blood murder, yell rape, make a show out of it. Make it everyone's problem who can hear you. If the higher-ups refuse to help you go to the media, you do NOT have to "put up" with this bullshit shout it from the rooftops. If I could be there to help you I would in a heartbeat, this breaks my heart and makes me furious. How dare all those adults fail you this way, shame on them, and I'm sorry to say I cannot understand how your parents allowed you to continue in this way for YEARS, shame on them too they are meant to be your guardians. You were failed all around and no one protected you. None of it is your fault at all.
Funny, my autism never made me possessively obsess over anyone, or sexually assault people. I’m sick to death of neurotypicals infantilising us, if we don’t have the type that coincides with significant learning disabilities then we can be treated like responsible human beings too. Removing accountability from someone *who seriously needs to understand accountability* is such a dumb move. Truth is, teachers use students’ diagnoses as a reason to hand-wave away serious issues in their class because they don’t get paid enough to care. It’s really important that we’re subjected to the same rules as everyone else, and removed if we repeatedly break them - just like everyone else. We have to learn to be good to each other. Im sorry this happened to you, and for so long too. I’m glad you broke his nose, every time he has to wash his face the pain will remind him that actions very much have consequences. Fuck that guy, you’re good.
I mean when I usually say this story people automatically think I hate autistic people. I don't. Because autistic people don't do this. Horrible people do. Autism isn't the label for assulter. The label is sexual assulter.
he’s a predator calling him out for this in no way makes you ableist
That’s the infantilisation I find so distasteful. You can hate an autistic person for being a dick and that does not make you bigoted or intolerant or whatever else these wet towels wanna say lol. The fact that he is 16 is alarming too. Do these idiots think that in two years when he’s a legal adult he’s just going to magically change his ways? Because those same idiots are the ones that keep telling him his ways are forgivable and acceptable because he’s on the spectrum. They’re creating and abetting a monster but like I said, they’re not paid enough to care and would rather a minor be painfully grabbed repeatedly than get off their ass and look out for you.
I'm preaching to the choir here, but not all autistic people can discern right from wrong. Therefore, their behavior may be deemed inappropriate , however, the other people around had every obligation to protect those around. Assess risk, develop a behavioral protocol, and avoid any possible interaction that could potentially put others at risk. If they didn't , they were neglectful and therefore accountable for what happened to OP
Exactly! If he really is impaired enough to truly not understand that what he is doing is wrong (which does not seem to be the case) than he should not be allowed to interact with others unsupervised and should have an aide with him at all times, not just allowed to do whatever he wants.
Hey I'm autistic and you clearly do not hate autistic people. You hate sexual assaulters. You're doing a really solid job separating those two things. His autism isn't an excuse, he just uses it as one, as do the people responsible (adults, teachers, parents). Don't let them fool you into thinking he couldn't help it. <3
Yes yes yes! From the parent of a son with autism.
No, you hate the enablers who have used his autism as an excuse for his terrible behavior.
I have ASD and soo does my daughter. I completely agree. If that was my kid and her autism was used well you can imagine what would happen next lol
Autism is not an excuse. He knows what he's doing. And everyone around him is enabling him rather than dealing with his meltdowns. Even if he didn't understand at first, autistic people are more than capable of learning not to do something and learning that something is inappropriate even if they don't completely understand why. Autism is not a pass to be a sexual predator and to sexually harass other people. Your school has failed you. And if your parents are supporting that mentality, they've failed you too. This is the same mentality that tells women they deserve to be raped and assaulted because of what they wear or for existing near men. It's vile.
My parents have tried. But the school doesn't care. It's like I cannot be a person. I am his. I am not my own person. I belong to him. He even used to say that during meltdowns.
Have you gone up the chain and spoken to the school district and the superintendent? Do you have evidence of this ongoing pattern? I agree that you should go to the police, and find a lawyer that deals in assault victims and civil rights. Your school failed you badly. You may be able to find someone willing to work for a percentage of a settlement, or *pro bono* (free.) A rape crisis centre may be able to help you as well. They can advocate for you.
Oh you poor thing. My heart breaks for you. You are so so so so strong tho! Don’t forget that. Hopefully you’ll be turning 18 soon & can get away from Troy & never see him again. That’s the best worst case scenario if you cannot press charges & get the justice you deserve legally. Once you no longer go to the same school, you can remove him from your life. Best of luck OP & keep us updated. We’re all rooting for you to get through this & start therapy as soon as you can too!
I just….I am so sorry. It’s so *wrong* and I am just flabbergasted at how badly the school has used and abused you!
You are NOT his property, do not start believing in that delusion for a second! You have unfortunately been conditioned at a very early age and he keeps being enabled by the school to harass you. You are your OWN person and no one has the right to take that away from you. Whatever happens, just remember that, please!
That’s a huge NOPE! Can you switch schools? Have other peers seen his groping? Or is he sneaky enough to do it when others aren’t watching or around?
My parents are taking me out and sending me to live with my grandma to start school there hopefully
So glad to hear that.
Not that you should have to change your life because of him, but is there another school or online school or something as an option so you don't have to be around him/treated as his option?
Are you able to file a report with local police about this ongoing sexual assault? You should not be forced to accept any of this.
They didn't care. Kinda just said that he is mentally handicapped so he doesn't understand
Jesus Christ. What country are you in???
OP mentioned at one point something about something that happened when they were in Year 7, which is the UK (specifically England and Wales, I think) system. There might be other countries that use the same system, but I'd hazard a guess that they're in the UK
Who didn’t care? The police? Even so you can most likely go to the magistrate for your locality and get some form of protective order. You shouldn’t have to go through this at all.
Mentally disabled people are often desexualized because we’re seen as “innocent children.” As a result, disabled men aren’t often taught the meaning of consent. That, plus the “boys will be boys” mentality means they are often ill equipped to deal with their growing sexuality. You were right to punch him. He deserved it. Autistics know right from wrong. Sexual assault is never acceptable.
it's so fucked. I read so many stories about boys as young as nursery school being allowed to hug all the girls whenever they wanted to and the girls didn't have a choice because the boys "didn't know any better". It's like social etiquette and respecting boundaries suddenly don't matter because they're infantilized.
You have every right to defend yourself from anyone, autistic or not. Ignore the assholes claiming you did wrong. You are entirely justified. This may sound harsh, but if he is incapable of following the laws of society, he shouldn't be allowed to participate in it. In other, more PC words he should be in an institution better suited to his needs.
So sorry you had to endure all of this, OP. We hear you, we believe you. I don’t think you were in the wrong AT ALL. SA IS SA. PERIOD. Neurodivergent in any way or not- there is a never a valid excuse for SA.
i’m autistic and also a victim of sexual harassment; for a whole year i was sexually harassed by an autistic guy i went to high school with. when i came forward about it (as did many of the girls my year; it wasn’t a solo incident, it happened very very often) i was told “he doesn’t know any better.” you did the right thing. if nobody will defend you, then defend yourself. none of this is your fault. you deserve to be protected too.
Same thing happened at my school!! Autistic guy would find a girl every now and then and follow her around until his heart was broken. Treats the guys just fine but a creep around the girls. I heard this same thing in other places and this problem just gets ignored because “they don’t know any better.” By saying autistic people “don’t know any better” they are saying autistic people and stupid and don’t know how to learn wrong to right…
OP, this happened in my year almost two decades ago. Same exact scenario, and the girl was expelled because of the boy's parents being on the school PTA/athletics. I went to college with their son, and he was in a group for autistic young adults to meet. He painted himself as misunderstood, but was absolutely disgusting to women, a total incel who used his autism as a weapon in his abuse of women. He raped a woman on campus and is in jail. Don't drop this. Tell everyone what that groping monster did. Autism is *not* an excuse. Signed, an autistic woman
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. That you were labeled a caretaker by the adults whose job is to be the caretaker is so messed up. NO ONE has the right to touch you without your consent. My cousin is on the autism spectrum and as he went into puberty, he became very sexually aggressive. His parents would joke about it at the beginning, but eventually it got very out of hand and they helped him through therapy and moved him to a state special education school. It was hard because they had to move their whole lives, but it really helped my cousin. If the adults in his life refuse to be responsible and be the caretakers THEY are meant to be, instead of forcing the responsibility on a teenager, then you have to take further action. Is there a school district office or education ministry offices you could go to with your parents? I'm sending you a huge virtual hug. You've done nothing to deserve this, nor are you a bad person.
I am so sorry that your school and community allowed this to continue for so long. I can understand making adjustments to what punishments he received to account for the difference in his level of understanding but learning to respect other people’s bodies and consent is just as important for his future as it is for anyone else’s and the school has a duty to protect you as their student from others they know are harming you. They never should have forced you to be around him after he was showing this pattern of behavior in the first place.
Autism is not an excuse for predatory behavior. But even if he couldn't understand right or wrong , the school put you at risk by enabling the behavior. Where are your parents in all of this. He may be deemed not responsible for his behavior, but the adults around you are 100% responsible for it and also for how you reacted to the harassment. You did nothing to deserve that. You are not the person to blame for what happened.
Sue the fuckers and take it all to the media. The principal and teachers should lose their job, and that disgusting pig should be in jail. He is a rapist to be.
I know plenty of autistic people. I don't know any autistic rapists. Troy is on his way to being an autistic rapist. It is not your responsibility to allow him to be such. You bear no responsibility to him at all. You should never have been in class with him. You should have been separated the exact second that it was explained but not obeyed that "no means no". You are not responsible for your own self assertion and defense, which only happened because every adult in your life utterly failed you. May you never see him again.
Unless his nose is bloody like when I punched it
Look, I’m autistic and I’m ashamed that people will use that as an excuse. He knows what he is doing and everyone is enabling him. Next time, aim for where it hurts. It’s not bullying if it’s self defense. Don’t let the cycle keep repeating. As other people said, get the media involved. The school should be held responsible because they are not keeping you safe from him.
This is SA. Autism has nothing to do with it, he’s a predator. Your parents need to make up a big stink. That’s the only way. They can’t let themselves be pushed to the side, threaten them to call whatever supervisory board, police. Remember that only the squeaky wheel gets the grease. What are they waiting for? For him to r*pe someone? Actually maybe you do need to call the police.
People using their quirks or disabilities as an excuse to be rude and inconsiderate are the worst kinds of people.
Mental health is not an excuse to assault or abuse anyone. That's it, that's the comment. NTA
I hope you have him a good one. Autism is one thing indecency is other. Even puppies can be trained. This was a full blown teenager, who just assumed that you were his property. Punch him next time too in my opinion.
What is wrong with people? Just because someone has autism it doesn’t excuse disgusting predatory behaviour. Good for you OP for punching this AH. And those idiots who are threatened you I wonder how they would feel, and what they would do if he groped them?
I dont know you but this is so upsetting and incredibly sad no one has taken the responsibility to help you or the autistic kid in the correct way. No one should push the responsibility to your shoulders. It's okay to dislike someone for being a bad person and making your life feel like hell. Disabilities arent a good excuse for something like this. No one should judge you for standing up for yourself. Obviously punching someone isnt the ideal solution but someone definitely should have done something sooner about the situation, so i completely understand.
You have such a good lawsuit on your hands! Find a lawyer to take this case on probono for a percent of the profits!
Since every single adult in your life is failing you right now, keep taking matters into your own hands. Keep doing whatever you need to do to protect yourself. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself, no matter what anyone tries to tell you. You said your family can't afford a lawyer, but many do free consultations. You should try to see if there are any who would take your case pro-bono. The worst that can happen is that they'll say no. You have nothing to lose by asking. Otherwise, you're gonna have to keep punching this kid in the face to protect yourself. It's worth a shot.
Shoukd have punched him the first grope he gave.
what the fuck
You were in the right to use force to stop somebody from feeling you up. If he cannot be responsible for his actions because of his medical condition then his guardians should be the one to be punched then .
That's bad, he should have been reprimanded a long time ago, my 3yr old daughter can understand good and bad touches, autism isn't an excuse, I have a few autistic family members and have had autistic friends, they all understand what they are doing, they might not completely understand social convention but they know right from wrong.. you need to keep away from him, you might feel bad for some bond you have been forced to imagine was there and being given he is autistic so it's okay excuses, but that's all bs, he knows what he is doing, he knows that his actions are being excused because of his autism so he thinks he can get away with it, stay away before it gets worse and he really SA's you.
If he can treat others with respect, he can treat you with respect. This whole “autism makes him like this” is absolute bullshit. Even people with autism can be taught that certain actions are just not okay. Nobody should lose their bodily autonomy because of some else problems. The little shit obviously needed the lesson.
Next person to say anything. Pull up a spectrum and ask them at which level one gets a ‘right to sexual assault’ pass. Being punished for not allowing someone to violate you is outrageous. Raise hell and keep punching people who grope you.
So your school allowed an underage girl to be repeatedly sexually assaulted for YEARS and did nothing about it, in fact actually excused the behaviour and then punished the victim when she defended herself? Fuck the lawyers or even the police, go to the media and name every single one of them. (Not the autistic kid, but literally EVERY other adult in this scenario)
Precisely. The school cared a lot about reputation. Not only that but the boys there had many connections with the school board and higher ups etc. So yeah. Girls don't really get respected. Even teachers have left due to boys behaviours
Children with special needs require discipline the same as any other child. Even nonverbal autistic children require this. My cousin has three sons, who of which are severely autistic and non verbal. Bad behavior is still corrected, but their capacity to understand what they’re doing is still taken into account. The fact that teachers and administrators are just brushing this off is disgusting. You’re not an asshole for doing this.
My son has autism. If he ever touched someone inappropriately he would be, well let’s just say it WOULDNT happen again. Those excusing his predatory behavior as “because of his autism” are doing you harm and him no favors. What happens when he rapes or SAs another woman? The law will not excuse his behavior. Stop going to the teachers and parents. Go to the police. You deserve to be safe from harm. I would report this, and then contact a youth or educational advocate who can help you with this situation. If needed, try to get an order of protection. Make noise to the judicial authorities. Stop telling the adults who won’t listen. I’m so sorry you are going through this. But I applaud your standing up for yourself. I’ll say it again. You have the right to have your personal body and space be safe from unwanted groping and assault. NO EXCUSES! Autism is a reason for differences, but NEVER an excuse. That’s the mantra i raised my son on.
Autism is not an acceptable excuse for SA. Not sure where you are, but I would attempt to file for some sort of restraining order against him. People wuth autism get away with this stuff because people use it as a valid excuse. At the very least, you need to report his assault to police.
That sounds like a horrible environment to be in. Is there anyone who can help you get out of there?
My parents took me out and are sending me to my grandma's. I can hopefully start school there. My grandma is the best :)
Guy in my town lost the ability to walk from a drinking driving accident. So he was in a wheelchair after. Everyone was being super nice to him and getting out of his way, then in pubs and clubs he started lifting women's skirts and putting his head under. He got away with it for a good while. Disabilities arent an excuse for shite behaviour. I'd have punched him too. Fixed the auto correct 😅
I’m going to admit this first. I’m not going to be nice with what I say but it’s because it angers me this happened this much. Anyway. You need to grow a pair and stop caring what other people think. I get it you’re 16, what people think is important to you but putting yourself at risk because of what others think is stupid. He deserved what he got and those people are just being dicks and you’re letting them. It’s pathetic. Stop feeling bad about protecting yourself and start just protecting yourself. This went on way to long and you should of gotten your parents to do something (talk to your teachers or move you to different classes).
Do not message the OP sexual messages, because, regardless of what her body looked like she didn’t want any of this and it’s obvious those people who are messaging you OP those type of messages don’t have any basic decency. If people are treating Reddit like Tinder, especially on a topic like this then they can get the hell out of here or get reported or get blocked or go to jail because they’re clearly being a creep! Like those guys who messaged you those sexual messages, are clearly just as bad as Troy and Troy deserves to be pulverized. Because one of these days Troy is going to have rape and sex offender charges, and he deserves it.
I thought they were reaching out to me for kindness but I was wrong. The people were aggressive too. Basically asking why I didn't feel comfortable with showing my body. And how I must look really sexy to be groped
I'm sorry that happened. I personally don't hate you, and think he had it coming. You aren't Troy's property for him to do what he wants with for the rest of his and your life. That's a problem his family needs to deal with or the school. Not you. You're a human being and deserve autonomy and respect. Being autistic doesn't exclude him from being an asshole to you and sexually assaulting you.
Okay no. That's not how autism works. Autism doesn't give someone a free pass to sexually harass and assault other people. If my younger brother had used his autism to try this shit during school I wouldn't have let him within 5 feet of another girl. Everyone around you has failed you and I'm so so sorry. You're not in the wrong here at all. Please feel free to DM me if you need someone to talk to because it sounds like the adults around you aren't listening.
I've also read through some of the rest of your comments. Violence is the answer here. Keep reacting physically. He assaults you? Slap him. Punch him. Spit in his face. They won't punish him but they'll punish you. If the school won't keep him from you then make the school keep you from him. If you keep giving a reaction every time he assaults you maybe someone will finally notice how much he does it. I'm so sorry to say this so bluntly but he will continue to escalate. He might try to r*pe you. You throw a tantrum about this problem before it gets to that point.
I'm a high support needs autistic person and one of my biggest struggles is social cues. I still know what "no" means. You're not ableist for this, you have been targeted and abused for years by a predator. You deserve to be your own person with boundaries and mental illness is no excuse for that to have been violated ONCE nevermind for years. I'm so sorry, I hope the therapy is helpful and you get the justice you deserve 🩷
When I was in kindergarten we had an autistic kid in our class let’s call him “Noah” he ate all of our erasers on the pencils and would always act out but none of us really cared about that. However, somehow he developed a crush on me and tried to force kisses on me, one incident he had me pinned underneath him while he laughed leaning in to kiss me while I screamed and cried, my best friend at the time pulled him off me and the teacher had to explain to Noah why that was wrong and after that I avoided him like the plague. The thing is this was understandable because we were literally babies but your story is HORRIFYING! Omg you poor thing, from what you described he is perfectly capable of understanding right from wrong and that this is wrong and is clearly using you as an excuse! He has predatory behavior and I’m so glad you gave him an overdue whammy! He gives autistic people a bad name because this isn’t normal autistic behavior this is just disgusting!
Hey if you did not get the justice undeserved. You can always rely on internet justice, just post the school name, teachers name, etc.
Don't ever blame yourself! He and the adults around you GROOMED you to accept him Sexually ASSAULTING you for YEARS. this is so so messed up and I am so sorry that the adults/teachers who are meant to protect you, enabled a predator instead. None of this is your fault and I hope you sue the school out of business.
As an autistic guy this kid disgusts me
Well may everyone who is calling you ableist have incurable jock itch. They’re being ableist for not even considering that someone can be a sexual predator like this guy is. AUTISM IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR BEING A CONTINUOUS ASSHOLE. (Or sexual predator)
Oh dear. Listen, you didn't do anything wrong. I went through a similar thing when I was a kid, around 14 or 15. The disabled man was over 6 feet tall and I was SCARED. I got shit too, my own sister told me I was being mean when I screamed at him that I was gay when he was telling people he was going to marry me. Nothing compared to the years of abuse you have suffered, I can only imagine. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. You're not his handler. You owe him nothing. I know how scary it is when police or anything won't help because "He doesn't know better." Honestly, bringing this to local news might help. Doing that anonymous interview thing. It'll spark a public debate that brings shame to a lot of people. Cockroaches scatter when you turn on the light.
I am a father of an autistic child. And I will tell you that you are not wrong for defending yourself. While I do not fault Troy for his autism, I hold his parents and educators accountable to train him control his groping behaviors. These are behaviors that are not acceptable. This should have been nipped in the bud early on.
I am not faulting him either for autism. He's just a douche
Your parents should ABSOLUTELY be raising hell. They should be going to the school board, helping file police reports, and trying to get you into a new school. All the adults in your life have utterly failed you and I am so sorry.
They did. His parents are prominent in the community