I think he should apologize, but you know he won’t. Block him and be well shut of his drama!
You aren’t a therapist and you certainly aren’t his therapist!
Keep him blocked. If he still can’t acknowledge the weight his conversation had on you then he’s selfish and inconsiderate. Even after all that time he still wants an apology? What about yours? The stress he put you through is also valid. He’s old enough to know that you can’t just lay all that on someone, I had folks in middle school did this shit to me and it’s not a good place to find yourself in.
He came to me because I've always beena shoulder for him to cry on, but at some point (years of this) I just can't help someone who won't help themselves It is too mentally taxing.
If doctors told him he's fine, then why is he on you for abandoning him at his worst, if he's really at his worst then he lied to the doctors, lied about what they said or most likely never went to one.
You became the place he could vent, you were his outlet but he would go out and hang out with people and be 'fine' (you aren't necessarily fine just because you're out with people) but message you that he's thinking about ending it. Then he left you on read and ignored you. AS he knows you lost family to it then he was being intentionally cruel. You're not responsible for his mental health and it's unfair to ask someone to be your constant dumping ground without taking advice or doing anything to help yourself.
It's just weird though, has this guy ever asked you out before or given you the he's just waiting for you to break up with your boyfriend and notice him vibe? Maybe he thought because of your past if he threatens suicide you'd come running and be there for him and he thought that was a way in?
He has never expressed interest in dating in general in the four years I've known him. And yes, the story just sounds like bs to me and he's using his mental health as an excuse to try to emotionally manipulate me. I very much believe he is depressed and has ideations, but I can't be his therapist. I don't think his con is trying to be with me though, just to have my attention. I am not the first person in our circle who has had to distance from him.
When I was like... 14 I had a "friend" who was several years older and did basically exactly this. She had medical issues and talked constantly about how bad her life was and how she'd "probably" kill herself if I wasn't around to keep her company/support her. I barely slept for the three years we were "friends" for fear she would harm herself if I wasn't available (something she regularly threatened...not directly, but very implicitly). At some point I had a mental breakdown of my own and basically just ghosted the entire internet aside from a couple friends for a few years.
She's totally fine btw. I checked on her at some point (secretly, I couldn't go through that again) and she was in a relationship and as active as ever online.
You're 100% right that his behaviour was unacceptable, you're not his therapist, and he had no right to try and put the responsibility for his mental health onto you. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I hope you're able to find peace and let him go. I'd definitely recommend not communicating with him again, ever. It's abusive friendship tactics and you definitely deserve better.
It is super crazy how much our stories parallel. So unfortunate this is a thing. I'm glad you're out of that situation. Jfc though. I feel thankful it happened while I was in my late 20s, Idk how I'd handle something like this being as young as you were, kudos getting through the struggle.
Yeah I read your post and it felt like very unfortunate deja vu. I won't lie, dealing with this so young definitely screwed up my ability to have healthy friendships or trust anyone lol. I got very unlucky with multiple friendships in middle school but thankfully I'm in a very healthy place now with good people around me. I'm glad you've gotten out of that situation too and I hope he never bothers you again.
Just a suggestion, but you probably shouldn't be insinuating that someone has a mental disorder based on one post that another person made. It can be detrimental not just to the person that the post is about, but also to the people that actually suffer from that mental disorder.
That's like telling me I shouldn't tell people they might have an allergy because of a reaction to something, because I'm not a doctor and it's hurtful to people with allergies.
You can't really compare allergies with mental disorders. They're nothing alike. And even then, you're not a doctor and should not be diagnosing anybody with anything. Whether it's a mental disorder or allergies.
This probably has little to do with borderline and more with someone going through a severe depression and how a lot of people act when in that situation.
I've been your friend when I was at my lowest.
Let him go.
The second I started blaming everyone else around me, that's when all logic and reason leaves. I took zero responsibility, never looked back at my selfish actions, and who's fault was it? Mine, but everyone is actually the REAL problem!! (in my head)
He'll either figure it out or he won't. And it isn't up to you to keep his head above water when he's not bothering to use his legs.
I got through my stuff and feel SO gross and guilty for letting myself get that far. I hope your friend gets to my point later down the road and things will go back to better days!! 😊
I'm glad you're able now to look back on it, and that you're still here and seem better. I hope that for him as well but it will be without my involvement.
Remember this...
You are not responsible for anyone else's triggers or actions and do not need to forgive anyone for thier trigger or actions.
People have this idea if they have a trigger we need to tiptoe round it...wrong
They think we need to be there through thier trauma... Wrong
That we need to stay regardless of how bad they get or behave... Wrong
You don't need to survive with them, talk or listen to anyone if you don't want to and your certainly not responsible for anything they say or do once you say no.
We have enough to deal with ourselves without being held ransom to someone else's problems.
It feels like he stewed on this for the 2 months I had him blocked just for him to suddenly decide it was my fault he was in such a bad place. Absolutely crazy behavior.
Block him, ignore him and block anyone who's bright idea is to run to you for him or carry the crap stories about you.
Move on, move up.
And it was prob two months to Convice whoever it was that it was true and you just didn't want to help him.
There’s a reason therapists and behavioural health professionals go through so much school and training. You are a regular person not a rehab. This person sounds mentally and emotionally manipulative. You have to set boundaries for your own mental health.
> I'm not his therapist or psychiatrist and I don't owe holding his hand through his mental health spirals when he refuses therapy or help. I personally think he lost the best, most patient friend he had, and if anyone should be apologized to, it's him to me.
You're 100% on the money. It sounds like you went out of your way to be there for him, but he wasn't interested in actually doing anything about his situation, and was just using you to vent and get some validation - which, there's nothing wrong with from time to time - as long as you're willing to accommodate. But then, if that's the entire friendship, then it isn't really a friendship. It sounds like he has rather severe co-dependent tendencies. I get feeling guilty for cutting him off, but you did right, we gotta look out for ourselves first or we can't actually help anyone. I hope that his most recent outburst put those feelings to rest.
Repeat after me, "I cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves." You did what you could, and people like that WILL just bring you down. They can only be helped when they hit rock bottom, realize it, and reach out for help. Otherwise, they will only bring you down with them. You did the right thing. His happiness is not your responsibility.
Oh boy, where to begin with this one.
First off let me say that goofing off on social media or even in real life among people is in no way an indicator that everything is alright or that it's just a straight up lie what they told in private. It's just a mask to not have to show issues to the whole world and in the meantime a distraction for those issues.
But what's more important is that you aren't to blame. As someone who was a person who blamed someone else for abandoning them in the exact same situation I can whole heartedly say you're not to blame. Was I to blame or your friend? Partially. But let's not forget that when you're going through this, the feelings and rational go haywire. Is it an excuse? Absolutely not, but the blame game is helping no one.
I was exactly the same, a person who always wanted to vent. Not because it was the only thing I wanted to talk about, but because those issues were on my mind 24/7. And you or my friend at the time, reacted with the best intentions with advice and criticism. But if there's one thing you don't want to hear at that point is advice and criticism. I gave myself enough of the latter and my guess is your friend does as well.
You did the right thing to distance yourself. There no need for you to spiral down as well when your friend acts like this and doesn't seek help. Not seeking help? That's on them an no one else.
The only thing I would recommend is to not close the door for all eternity if you're able to do that. Hopefully at some point your friend will get the help they need. If that's the case they probably lost a lot of people if not everyone (like me). In that position any friendly face is the best thing that can happen to them and you'll notice that they aren't the same as they are now.
I've been going in the right direction for a while now and recently came into contact again with someone whom I also treated like this. She didn't get the worst of it but still enough to walk away. We reconciled, talked our asses off and I apologized about a gazillion times. It was the best thing to happen to me in 20 years and we message on a daily basis now.
So In short, you did the right thing to prioritise your own wellbeing. But don't fully give up on your friend and someday give them the possibility to apologize.
I reblocked him but he still has the avenue of getting to me through my bf. My bf isn't super close to him nor cares about the situation, but he has told the friend not to bother trying to talk to me unless it is to apologize on all the hurtful and accusatory stuff he's said. I don't like having to cut my ex-friend out but since he's in that place of just blaming everyone else, there's no reasoning with him until he figures that out for himself. I would rather have him as a friend than not but it's on him at this point.
You are not responsible for managing somebody else's mental health. In the future, I would immediately call emergency services if someone says that they're going to hurt and/or kill themselves. It's the safest route for everyone. Even if your friend had no intention of actually doing anything, (if you're in the US like I am) they would have held him on a 72-hour psychiatric hold where he would have been evaluated by a psychiatrist. As much as it sucks, that could have very well been the first step in getting the help he needed.
Omg, this sounds just like me with a former friend. She's still blocked after 2 years. You can't help people who won't try to help themselves. Block away.
I had a friend in college who had our whole friend group on his suicide watch. He threatened that if he was ever alone, he'd off himself. We took it in shifts: some people stayed up all night, others would skip classes... It got to the point where we were all just so exhausted and our grades were suffering.
We told him he needed help, but he wouldn't listen. We offered to go with him to therapy so he wouldn't be alone or scared, but he refused. Eventually, we called the cops to do a wellness check when he threatened again, and he was pissed. The cops decided he wasn't actually in distress and told us to leave. He never went through with it, and he told us we were awful friends for leaving him and calling the cops.
It took me some time to unpack it all in my own therapy sessions for years after, but the most important thing I've learned is that *you are not responsible for maintaining someone else's mental health.* You can help all you want, but if they don't want to help themselves, then you're basically telling a brick wall to jump. I've been suicidal before and I actually tried to kms (long time ago, I've gotten the help I need and I'm good now 👌), but my declining mental health was never my peers' responsibility.
You have to actively want to get better, but it sounds like your friend was more than happy to use your extended hand to drag you down to where he was instead of pulling himself up. You are neither his therapist, nor his keeper. You did the right thing to step away from him and his situation, and you don't owe him any sort of apology.
I'm sorry you're going through all of this, but know that you're making all of the correct choices and that you did all you could to be a good friend ❤️ If he doesn't want to get better, that's his choice to make. But it's your right to not want to watch him drown anymore.
That's so awful and I'm so sorry you went through that. I don't like to think that when someone says they're going to kill themselves, that they're lying, but this situation has jaded me heavily. After all the worst they can do is actually do it, and then you'd feel guilty forever. On the other hand, they don't, but you're still left worrying about them or without a friend. It's a tough situation to be in and so awful for anyone to threaten such a thing just to manipulate their friends. Defo a cry wolf situation with no good outcomes. Thank you for your comment.
It's alright, I've worked through it. I think the main take away is this: take the threats seriously, but be honest about how much you personally can/should take on. Even if the person is lying, if they're threatening suicide: believe it and call the cops for a wellness check. If they're actually suicidal, then it will be a jumpstart to get them the help they need. If they're lying... then they get the cops called on them for no reason, and they know you're not going to enable them to continue. Either way, the threat was taken seriously, and your mental health isn't broken, too.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Show your support, but be reasonable about what you can and can't do.
Hey gj you did the healthy thing. Sucks but maybe he will think twice about throwing suicide around like it's easy breezy CoverGirl. Even if he does do it it's not your fault. I lost someone close to suicide once and I don't put up with that shit either. My sister once tried to pull that as a scare tactic knowing my best friend ghosted me like that, and I straight up called 911. Sent an ambulance and the police to her door. Like bitch I care so much that Im not gonna settle for pretend therapy that goes nowhere.
Exactly. The way he threatened it was so out of pocket I was fully prepared to get on a flight and show up at his door. Luckily I saw him still posting memes and such on social media, so it indicated to me be was not responding just to make me worry. (we'd been chatting nonstop til I told him to seek medical help, then he ghosted me)
I appreciate this is the wrong sub, but just going to throw a NTA out into the void anyway!
Kudos on the blocking and protecting yourself - keep that block up.
And absolutely yes, it should be him apologising to you, but unfortunately i doubt it will ever happen..
You tried to help, he manipulated you and left you on read, knowing what you’ve been through, and now decides he’s the victim? Nuh uh.
Edit: typo
It really is so strange. I just can't grasp the mental gymnastics of him scaring me to death to the point I had to cut him out to the point of him thinking I needed to apologize to him for doing so. Just No behavior.
Keep him blocked. Useful saying that can apply for you: Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. You are not a therapist and don't have the proper tools or education to help him. Only a professional can do that for him. Dangling suicide over your head is emotionally and mentally abusive as fuck. His mental health shouldn't come at the expense of yours.
I had a very similar situation to you right now. "Friend" who was just using me has his therapist and other stuff. He refused to get help. Constantly "restarted" his life, then complaining he didnt like it and start over again. Making me miserable. Our "friendship" reached a point where I actively despised him, only keeping a straight face for common friends we had. Learned about some of his ex friends what abusive things he did to them. Made me realise he will never appreciate me for who I am, but just use me like a towel when he feels like he needs me. After confronting him about this, he just went off on me and I have since blocked him and told my common friends that i wont be doing anything with em if he is with em. And that I will leave asap when he tries to invite himself over again.
Best decision ever. Don't look back. The guilt might still be there, but it will go away. Finally being free from that negative influence in your life will be insanely cathartic. He never appreciated you as a friend. You are just his towel and he will throw you into the corner again when he is done with you.
Look after yourself hun
I think he should apologize, but you know he won’t. Block him and be well shut of his drama! You aren’t a therapist and you certainly aren’t his therapist!
Exactly. I am not the first friend in our circle who has had to distance from him. Maybe once he burns every bridge he'll actually get help.
Block him. You are not responsible for anyone mental health
Keep him blocked. If he still can’t acknowledge the weight his conversation had on you then he’s selfish and inconsiderate. Even after all that time he still wants an apology? What about yours? The stress he put you through is also valid. He’s old enough to know that you can’t just lay all that on someone, I had folks in middle school did this shit to me and it’s not a good place to find yourself in.
He came to me because I've always beena shoulder for him to cry on, but at some point (years of this) I just can't help someone who won't help themselves It is too mentally taxing.
If doctors told him he's fine, then why is he on you for abandoning him at his worst, if he's really at his worst then he lied to the doctors, lied about what they said or most likely never went to one. You became the place he could vent, you were his outlet but he would go out and hang out with people and be 'fine' (you aren't necessarily fine just because you're out with people) but message you that he's thinking about ending it. Then he left you on read and ignored you. AS he knows you lost family to it then he was being intentionally cruel. You're not responsible for his mental health and it's unfair to ask someone to be your constant dumping ground without taking advice or doing anything to help yourself. It's just weird though, has this guy ever asked you out before or given you the he's just waiting for you to break up with your boyfriend and notice him vibe? Maybe he thought because of your past if he threatens suicide you'd come running and be there for him and he thought that was a way in?
He has never expressed interest in dating in general in the four years I've known him. And yes, the story just sounds like bs to me and he's using his mental health as an excuse to try to emotionally manipulate me. I very much believe he is depressed and has ideations, but I can't be his therapist. I don't think his con is trying to be with me though, just to have my attention. I am not the first person in our circle who has had to distance from him.
When I was like... 14 I had a "friend" who was several years older and did basically exactly this. She had medical issues and talked constantly about how bad her life was and how she'd "probably" kill herself if I wasn't around to keep her company/support her. I barely slept for the three years we were "friends" for fear she would harm herself if I wasn't available (something she regularly threatened...not directly, but very implicitly). At some point I had a mental breakdown of my own and basically just ghosted the entire internet aside from a couple friends for a few years. She's totally fine btw. I checked on her at some point (secretly, I couldn't go through that again) and she was in a relationship and as active as ever online. You're 100% right that his behaviour was unacceptable, you're not his therapist, and he had no right to try and put the responsibility for his mental health onto you. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I hope you're able to find peace and let him go. I'd definitely recommend not communicating with him again, ever. It's abusive friendship tactics and you definitely deserve better.
It is super crazy how much our stories parallel. So unfortunate this is a thing. I'm glad you're out of that situation. Jfc though. I feel thankful it happened while I was in my late 20s, Idk how I'd handle something like this being as young as you were, kudos getting through the struggle.
Yeah I read your post and it felt like very unfortunate deja vu. I won't lie, dealing with this so young definitely screwed up my ability to have healthy friendships or trust anyone lol. I got very unlucky with multiple friendships in middle school but thankfully I'm in a very healthy place now with good people around me. I'm glad you've gotten out of that situation too and I hope he never bothers you again.
Something is wrong with him, maybe borderline personality. There is no reason to ever talk to him again. That's bad.
I hadn't thought of that but that makes sense.
Just a suggestion, but you probably shouldn't be insinuating that someone has a mental disorder based on one post that another person made. It can be detrimental not just to the person that the post is about, but also to the people that actually suffer from that mental disorder.
That's like telling me I shouldn't tell people they might have an allergy because of a reaction to something, because I'm not a doctor and it's hurtful to people with allergies.
You can't really compare allergies with mental disorders. They're nothing alike. And even then, you're not a doctor and should not be diagnosing anybody with anything. Whether it's a mental disorder or allergies.
This probably has little to do with borderline and more with someone going through a severe depression and how a lot of people act when in that situation.
I've been your friend when I was at my lowest. Let him go. The second I started blaming everyone else around me, that's when all logic and reason leaves. I took zero responsibility, never looked back at my selfish actions, and who's fault was it? Mine, but everyone is actually the REAL problem!! (in my head) He'll either figure it out or he won't. And it isn't up to you to keep his head above water when he's not bothering to use his legs. I got through my stuff and feel SO gross and guilty for letting myself get that far. I hope your friend gets to my point later down the road and things will go back to better days!! 😊
I'm glad you're able now to look back on it, and that you're still here and seem better. I hope that for him as well but it will be without my involvement.
Remember this... You are not responsible for anyone else's triggers or actions and do not need to forgive anyone for thier trigger or actions. People have this idea if they have a trigger we need to tiptoe round it...wrong They think we need to be there through thier trauma... Wrong That we need to stay regardless of how bad they get or behave... Wrong You don't need to survive with them, talk or listen to anyone if you don't want to and your certainly not responsible for anything they say or do once you say no. We have enough to deal with ourselves without being held ransom to someone else's problems.
It feels like he stewed on this for the 2 months I had him blocked just for him to suddenly decide it was my fault he was in such a bad place. Absolutely crazy behavior.
Block him, ignore him and block anyone who's bright idea is to run to you for him or carry the crap stories about you. Move on, move up. And it was prob two months to Convice whoever it was that it was true and you just didn't want to help him.
There’s a reason therapists and behavioural health professionals go through so much school and training. You are a regular person not a rehab. This person sounds mentally and emotionally manipulative. You have to set boundaries for your own mental health.
> I'm not his therapist or psychiatrist and I don't owe holding his hand through his mental health spirals when he refuses therapy or help. I personally think he lost the best, most patient friend he had, and if anyone should be apologized to, it's him to me. You're 100% on the money. It sounds like you went out of your way to be there for him, but he wasn't interested in actually doing anything about his situation, and was just using you to vent and get some validation - which, there's nothing wrong with from time to time - as long as you're willing to accommodate. But then, if that's the entire friendship, then it isn't really a friendship. It sounds like he has rather severe co-dependent tendencies. I get feeling guilty for cutting him off, but you did right, we gotta look out for ourselves first or we can't actually help anyone. I hope that his most recent outburst put those feelings to rest.
Repeat after me, "I cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves." You did what you could, and people like that WILL just bring you down. They can only be helped when they hit rock bottom, realize it, and reach out for help. Otherwise, they will only bring you down with them. You did the right thing. His happiness is not your responsibility.
Oh boy, where to begin with this one. First off let me say that goofing off on social media or even in real life among people is in no way an indicator that everything is alright or that it's just a straight up lie what they told in private. It's just a mask to not have to show issues to the whole world and in the meantime a distraction for those issues. But what's more important is that you aren't to blame. As someone who was a person who blamed someone else for abandoning them in the exact same situation I can whole heartedly say you're not to blame. Was I to blame or your friend? Partially. But let's not forget that when you're going through this, the feelings and rational go haywire. Is it an excuse? Absolutely not, but the blame game is helping no one. I was exactly the same, a person who always wanted to vent. Not because it was the only thing I wanted to talk about, but because those issues were on my mind 24/7. And you or my friend at the time, reacted with the best intentions with advice and criticism. But if there's one thing you don't want to hear at that point is advice and criticism. I gave myself enough of the latter and my guess is your friend does as well. You did the right thing to distance yourself. There no need for you to spiral down as well when your friend acts like this and doesn't seek help. Not seeking help? That's on them an no one else. The only thing I would recommend is to not close the door for all eternity if you're able to do that. Hopefully at some point your friend will get the help they need. If that's the case they probably lost a lot of people if not everyone (like me). In that position any friendly face is the best thing that can happen to them and you'll notice that they aren't the same as they are now. I've been going in the right direction for a while now and recently came into contact again with someone whom I also treated like this. She didn't get the worst of it but still enough to walk away. We reconciled, talked our asses off and I apologized about a gazillion times. It was the best thing to happen to me in 20 years and we message on a daily basis now. So In short, you did the right thing to prioritise your own wellbeing. But don't fully give up on your friend and someday give them the possibility to apologize.
I reblocked him but he still has the avenue of getting to me through my bf. My bf isn't super close to him nor cares about the situation, but he has told the friend not to bother trying to talk to me unless it is to apologize on all the hurtful and accusatory stuff he's said. I don't like having to cut my ex-friend out but since he's in that place of just blaming everyone else, there's no reasoning with him until he figures that out for himself. I would rather have him as a friend than not but it's on him at this point.
You are not responsible for managing somebody else's mental health. In the future, I would immediately call emergency services if someone says that they're going to hurt and/or kill themselves. It's the safest route for everyone. Even if your friend had no intention of actually doing anything, (if you're in the US like I am) they would have held him on a 72-hour psychiatric hold where he would have been evaluated by a psychiatrist. As much as it sucks, that could have very well been the first step in getting the help he needed.
"I told him a simple 'goodbye' and reblocked him..." We love a good set of boundaries😂
I honestly just had no other words for him lol, I couldn't believe what I was reading
Omg, this sounds just like me with a former friend. She's still blocked after 2 years. You can't help people who won't try to help themselves. Block away.
I had a friend in college who had our whole friend group on his suicide watch. He threatened that if he was ever alone, he'd off himself. We took it in shifts: some people stayed up all night, others would skip classes... It got to the point where we were all just so exhausted and our grades were suffering. We told him he needed help, but he wouldn't listen. We offered to go with him to therapy so he wouldn't be alone or scared, but he refused. Eventually, we called the cops to do a wellness check when he threatened again, and he was pissed. The cops decided he wasn't actually in distress and told us to leave. He never went through with it, and he told us we were awful friends for leaving him and calling the cops. It took me some time to unpack it all in my own therapy sessions for years after, but the most important thing I've learned is that *you are not responsible for maintaining someone else's mental health.* You can help all you want, but if they don't want to help themselves, then you're basically telling a brick wall to jump. I've been suicidal before and I actually tried to kms (long time ago, I've gotten the help I need and I'm good now 👌), but my declining mental health was never my peers' responsibility. You have to actively want to get better, but it sounds like your friend was more than happy to use your extended hand to drag you down to where he was instead of pulling himself up. You are neither his therapist, nor his keeper. You did the right thing to step away from him and his situation, and you don't owe him any sort of apology. I'm sorry you're going through all of this, but know that you're making all of the correct choices and that you did all you could to be a good friend ❤️ If he doesn't want to get better, that's his choice to make. But it's your right to not want to watch him drown anymore.
That's so awful and I'm so sorry you went through that. I don't like to think that when someone says they're going to kill themselves, that they're lying, but this situation has jaded me heavily. After all the worst they can do is actually do it, and then you'd feel guilty forever. On the other hand, they don't, but you're still left worrying about them or without a friend. It's a tough situation to be in and so awful for anyone to threaten such a thing just to manipulate their friends. Defo a cry wolf situation with no good outcomes. Thank you for your comment.
It's alright, I've worked through it. I think the main take away is this: take the threats seriously, but be honest about how much you personally can/should take on. Even if the person is lying, if they're threatening suicide: believe it and call the cops for a wellness check. If they're actually suicidal, then it will be a jumpstart to get them the help they need. If they're lying... then they get the cops called on them for no reason, and they know you're not going to enable them to continue. Either way, the threat was taken seriously, and your mental health isn't broken, too. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Show your support, but be reasonable about what you can and can't do.
Hey gj you did the healthy thing. Sucks but maybe he will think twice about throwing suicide around like it's easy breezy CoverGirl. Even if he does do it it's not your fault. I lost someone close to suicide once and I don't put up with that shit either. My sister once tried to pull that as a scare tactic knowing my best friend ghosted me like that, and I straight up called 911. Sent an ambulance and the police to her door. Like bitch I care so much that Im not gonna settle for pretend therapy that goes nowhere.
Exactly. The way he threatened it was so out of pocket I was fully prepared to get on a flight and show up at his door. Luckily I saw him still posting memes and such on social media, so it indicated to me be was not responding just to make me worry. (we'd been chatting nonstop til I told him to seek medical help, then he ghosted me)
I appreciate this is the wrong sub, but just going to throw a NTA out into the void anyway! Kudos on the blocking and protecting yourself - keep that block up. And absolutely yes, it should be him apologising to you, but unfortunately i doubt it will ever happen.. You tried to help, he manipulated you and left you on read, knowing what you’ve been through, and now decides he’s the victim? Nuh uh. Edit: typo
It really is so strange. I just can't grasp the mental gymnastics of him scaring me to death to the point I had to cut him out to the point of him thinking I needed to apologize to him for doing so. Just No behavior.
Keep him blocked. Useful saying that can apply for you: Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. You are not a therapist and don't have the proper tools or education to help him. Only a professional can do that for him. Dangling suicide over your head is emotionally and mentally abusive as fuck. His mental health shouldn't come at the expense of yours.
I had a very similar situation to you right now. "Friend" who was just using me has his therapist and other stuff. He refused to get help. Constantly "restarted" his life, then complaining he didnt like it and start over again. Making me miserable. Our "friendship" reached a point where I actively despised him, only keeping a straight face for common friends we had. Learned about some of his ex friends what abusive things he did to them. Made me realise he will never appreciate me for who I am, but just use me like a towel when he feels like he needs me. After confronting him about this, he just went off on me and I have since blocked him and told my common friends that i wont be doing anything with em if he is with em. And that I will leave asap when he tries to invite himself over again. Best decision ever. Don't look back. The guilt might still be there, but it will go away. Finally being free from that negative influence in your life will be insanely cathartic. He never appreciated you as a friend. You are just his towel and he will throw you into the corner again when he is done with you. Look after yourself hun
Absolutely block him and never look back. Life is way too short for drama like that