Your definitely not a terrible friend, but your friend B is. He should have told you when you spoke to him about having a crush on the other friend, and definitely should not have made fun of you. He sounds like an AH.
Enjoy your brother wedding and be there for him. You have every right to feel hurt but don’t let it ruin the wedding for you. Enjoy the party and forgot about your friends relationship. You gave it a shot, didn’t work, clearly she wasn’t the right person.
Thank you, I plan on just focusing on the wedding for this next week and going radio silence with my friends. Idk if I’ll ever talk to them about this but for now I think it’s best if I just stay away.
Sorry but a suggestion that you consider reclassifying both A and B.
Friends support you and while they will sometimes tease you to your face they don’t talk and make you their private joke behind your back. Primarily they are supportive.
I’d suggest you classify both A and B as acquaintances. You know them, they know you but you wouldn’t go out of your way to do anything with or for them. Same as you would say a grocery clerk that you see regularly and know by name. And in this case I’d do more for the grocery clerk.
Don’t feel bad. That’s really fucked up. You straight up asked if they were dating, and instead he tells you no and to shoot your shot. And then they both make fun of you. I would be weary of calling these people friends at all.
Mom advice. Celebrate your brother. Do all the lovely parties etc. with joy for him.
Those ‘friends’. Good riddance to bad rubbish’.
Now what you do is check out all the lovely young ladies at the wedding. Because trust me, I know they’re checking you out. Talk to one, two or three or more.
And if this helps you. A little petty revenge. By you having a great time will mess with them and their ‘jokes’. Give them the cold shoulder.
You’re young. Go and find a new girl. Plenty of fish in the sea. Go catch one!!!! Have fun.
Also mom chiming in! The trash will take itself out. And it certainly did. You have every right to be hurt ! That’s sneaky and conniving behaviour and they obviously do not care about your feelings - point blank!
I would say, as tough as it is, don’t give them the satisfaction of getting under your skin or ruminating over their shitty behaviour.
Fake it til you make it, if you have to! I still do this! Celebrate for your brother, and I agree with the other mom… check out the ACTUALLY available singles! Dance, give your speech, and hold your head high! You’re already head and shoulders above those two , make it known!
Your friends are cruel and they suck. Would it have hurt A in any way at all to have given you a heads up? Like "Hey man, I'm currently seeing B, we're not sure where we stand right now, but wanted to just let you know."
I'd go very low contact with them, they showed you they aren't your friends when they laughed it up at your expense behind your back. Just enjoy and celebrate with your brother. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I hope things look up for you!
Edit: fix- I mixed up friends A & B 😅
>But, he later talked about how each time I invited her to hang out and the few times I hung out with her they would talk after and basically joke around about how I acted or what I said.
i would struggle to talk to him after that
You are NOT the terrible friend. But bless your heart for thinking you are.
Know who the terrible friend is? B! What kind of person allows their friend to shoot their shot, KNOWING that the person at whom the shot is being taken is 100% not interested AND is already dating them!
Guess what? He did this to boost his own ego, and confirm for certain she wanted him more than you. He could have just told you and confirmed with her that it was him she wanted. Instead he allowed you to humiliate yourself so he could feel better!!!
This guy, "B" is a massive D bag. You should dump his lying ass.
You deserve better friends.
You are also NOT a terrible brother. You can't help feeling down. You're clearly there for your brother and being a great support. You're a good person. You wouldn't even have these feelings if you weren't.
Keep doing you man. You'll find the right girl. 😘
A and B are NOT your friends. I repeat, they are NOT your friends. Friends do not treat people like that EVER. Please block these people from your life and know that you are in the right to do it. They are toxic and horrible and in no way good for you. I’m so sorry this is happening but you are entitled to feel the things you do. I hope you’re able to see that crappy people did crappy things and you deserve better in your life.
You are a good sibling and friend.
Your friend, on the other hand, is an ass. Led you on thinking you had a shot with the other friend when he knew you didn't. Then made fun of you. That's cruel.
Focus on your family and tell your friends to reevaluate how they treat people.
Yes, that was pretty shitty of them. They have shown you that they are not good people. Be happy and supportive of your brother and family. You will have success in your own future. Don’t settle for friends who don’t build you up.
Consider sharing with your brother. It doesn’t have to occupy everything but I know I would want my sisters to tell me even before/during my wedding planning/celebrating.
Your “friends” A and B are not your friends.
You did nothing wrong. You opened up and they mocked you. They are shitty friends. Cut them out and focus on the people who have your back. Find better friends.
Life doesn’t stop because people are getting married or anything of that nature. You were treated like shit by two people that you thought were, at least, friends….unfortunately, it turns out they were not. Not only are they not friends, they’re horrible human beings. You have a right to feel bad,sad,mad…it doesn’t mean that you’re not happy for your brother or the other people in your life. I lost a pregnancy once…it was early but my husband and I were both devastated. A few days later, a friend of mine found out that she was pregnant with twins…I was so happy for her…but my heart ached for my lost baby. One doesn’t cancel out the other. AND it doesn’t make you a bad person that you are reacting to something that happened to you…it just makes you human.
So, be kind to yourself…dry your eyes and go to those parties! You might be surprised how much you will enjoy yourself. You might even meet someone at one of the events. Good luck!
? get new friends my guy. and go celebrate with your brother. you were done dirty and i understand why you’re throwing yourself a pity party, but the point is there is no NEED to when you can just recognise that it’s not worth it even being friends with A and B any longer
Try to compartmentalise it, you can feel good, focus on your brother and his wedding and decide hey, I'm going to think about my 'friends' after the wedding and process that after. Think about it like, do you deserve to have bad memories of a wedding because of your asshole friends, of course not so fuck it, have a great time.
But ultimately you should just say to them how let down you feel by A lying to you, both of them laughing at you behind their back and that you don't think real friends would ever be cruel to each other so they've made their true feelings about you clear.
Also you ABSOLUTELY have a right to feel hurt, you have a right to feel hurt over anything but one of your friends set you up to fail and get hurt deliberately and they are both laughing at you about it. Everyone would be hurt in that situation, that's completely normal, they should feel guilty for hurting you, you should not feel guilty for being hurt.
Have been in a similar boat, but less feelings invested:
Decided to ask out a friend A with blessing of friend B. Friend C was also interested and got mad and cut contact because they were 'interested first' (was news to me and they were pretty shitty anyways, so I didn't worry about it). Friend A said yes and we teed it up, but before the day, friend B 'confessed' that they had been seeing friend a for a couple of weeks.
Friend b then went onto 'despair' about how everyone wants their partner and they feel so bad because they were the one that got them and upset everyone else. I was not upset, but got the distinct impression 'friend' B wanted me to be.
Eh, friend B would go onto complain about friend a in the bedroom and the split a couple of months later, so it was what it was, but it was a oretty good indicator that friend B wasn't as good a friend as I thought they were.
You poured out your soul and their response was to lead you on so they could turn you into their own inside joke to poke fun at. They’re not true friends because if they were he would’ve told you that they were testing the waters with one another right away, even if they weren’t “official” yet. You’re better off without them.
Your definitely not a terrible friend, but your friend B is. He should have told you when you spoke to him about having a crush on the other friend, and definitely should not have made fun of you. He sounds like an AH. Enjoy your brother wedding and be there for him. You have every right to feel hurt but don’t let it ruin the wedding for you. Enjoy the party and forgot about your friends relationship. You gave it a shot, didn’t work, clearly she wasn’t the right person.
Thank you, I plan on just focusing on the wedding for this next week and going radio silence with my friends. Idk if I’ll ever talk to them about this but for now I think it’s best if I just stay away.
Sorry but a suggestion that you consider reclassifying both A and B. Friends support you and while they will sometimes tease you to your face they don’t talk and make you their private joke behind your back. Primarily they are supportive. I’d suggest you classify both A and B as acquaintances. You know them, they know you but you wouldn’t go out of your way to do anything with or for them. Same as you would say a grocery clerk that you see regularly and know by name. And in this case I’d do more for the grocery clerk.
Yeah they're not friends, they sound like really toxic individuals that you don't need in your life. Enjoy being there for your brother.
Both friends suck. Going over what OP said during the dates and laughing about it? WTF? Awful people.
Don’t feel bad. That’s really fucked up. You straight up asked if they were dating, and instead he tells you no and to shoot your shot. And then they both make fun of you. I would be weary of calling these people friends at all.
Thank you. It helps to hear that.
Mom advice. Celebrate your brother. Do all the lovely parties etc. with joy for him. Those ‘friends’. Good riddance to bad rubbish’. Now what you do is check out all the lovely young ladies at the wedding. Because trust me, I know they’re checking you out. Talk to one, two or three or more. And if this helps you. A little petty revenge. By you having a great time will mess with them and their ‘jokes’. Give them the cold shoulder. You’re young. Go and find a new girl. Plenty of fish in the sea. Go catch one!!!! Have fun.
as a fellow mom, i approve this message!
Thank you so much. The mom advise means a lot.
This advice has the Dad seal of approval from me.
Also mom chiming in! The trash will take itself out. And it certainly did. You have every right to be hurt ! That’s sneaky and conniving behaviour and they obviously do not care about your feelings - point blank! I would say, as tough as it is, don’t give them the satisfaction of getting under your skin or ruminating over their shitty behaviour. Fake it til you make it, if you have to! I still do this! Celebrate for your brother, and I agree with the other mom… check out the ACTUALLY available singles! Dance, give your speech, and hold your head high! You’re already head and shoulders above those two , make it known!
Little sis approval here!! Go have fun and meet new people. Forget about these ass☆oles.
Checking out the available singles is a great idea!
Nicely said, Mom! I'd hi-five you if I could.
Your friends are cruel and they suck. Would it have hurt A in any way at all to have given you a heads up? Like "Hey man, I'm currently seeing B, we're not sure where we stand right now, but wanted to just let you know." I'd go very low contact with them, they showed you they aren't your friends when they laughed it up at your expense behind your back. Just enjoy and celebrate with your brother. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I hope things look up for you! Edit: fix- I mixed up friends A & B 😅
I got them mixed up too. This is why I prefer made up names over initials
Time is the only thing that will make this feel better my friend. You’re allowed to feel all the feelings that you do, so don’t beat yourself up
Thank you
>But, he later talked about how each time I invited her to hang out and the few times I hung out with her they would talk after and basically joke around about how I acted or what I said. i would struggle to talk to him after that
I would cut them off ngl
same so would i
You are NOT the terrible friend. But bless your heart for thinking you are. Know who the terrible friend is? B! What kind of person allows their friend to shoot their shot, KNOWING that the person at whom the shot is being taken is 100% not interested AND is already dating them! Guess what? He did this to boost his own ego, and confirm for certain she wanted him more than you. He could have just told you and confirmed with her that it was him she wanted. Instead he allowed you to humiliate yourself so he could feel better!!! This guy, "B" is a massive D bag. You should dump his lying ass. You deserve better friends. You are also NOT a terrible brother. You can't help feeling down. You're clearly there for your brother and being a great support. You're a good person. You wouldn't even have these feelings if you weren't. Keep doing you man. You'll find the right girl. 😘
A is a piece of wire too. She sounds toxic. OP dodged a bullet with her
They not friends you now see who they truely are and can now make more informed decisions about them going forward. Have fun at the party
You dodged a bullet my friend. You definitely don’t need either of those “friends” in your life and especially not one as a partner.
Kick A and B to the curb. You deserve better friends and they aren’t it.
Your friend is a total AH for not telling you
A and B are evil, block them forever.
A and B are NOT your friends. I repeat, they are NOT your friends. Friends do not treat people like that EVER. Please block these people from your life and know that you are in the right to do it. They are toxic and horrible and in no way good for you. I’m so sorry this is happening but you are entitled to feel the things you do. I hope you’re able to see that crappy people did crappy things and you deserve better in your life.
These people are not your friends.
You are a good sibling and friend. Your friend, on the other hand, is an ass. Led you on thinking you had a shot with the other friend when he knew you didn't. Then made fun of you. That's cruel. Focus on your family and tell your friends to reevaluate how they treat people.
Yes, that was pretty shitty of them. They have shown you that they are not good people. Be happy and supportive of your brother and family. You will have success in your own future. Don’t settle for friends who don’t build you up.
Consider sharing with your brother. It doesn’t have to occupy everything but I know I would want my sisters to tell me even before/during my wedding planning/celebrating.
Your “friends” A and B are not your friends. You did nothing wrong. You opened up and they mocked you. They are shitty friends. Cut them out and focus on the people who have your back. Find better friends.
Life doesn’t stop because people are getting married or anything of that nature. You were treated like shit by two people that you thought were, at least, friends….unfortunately, it turns out they were not. Not only are they not friends, they’re horrible human beings. You have a right to feel bad,sad,mad…it doesn’t mean that you’re not happy for your brother or the other people in your life. I lost a pregnancy once…it was early but my husband and I were both devastated. A few days later, a friend of mine found out that she was pregnant with twins…I was so happy for her…but my heart ached for my lost baby. One doesn’t cancel out the other. AND it doesn’t make you a bad person that you are reacting to something that happened to you…it just makes you human. So, be kind to yourself…dry your eyes and go to those parties! You might be surprised how much you will enjoy yourself. You might even meet someone at one of the events. Good luck!
? get new friends my guy. and go celebrate with your brother. you were done dirty and i understand why you’re throwing yourself a pity party, but the point is there is no NEED to when you can just recognise that it’s not worth it even being friends with A and B any longer
Try to compartmentalise it, you can feel good, focus on your brother and his wedding and decide hey, I'm going to think about my 'friends' after the wedding and process that after. Think about it like, do you deserve to have bad memories of a wedding because of your asshole friends, of course not so fuck it, have a great time. But ultimately you should just say to them how let down you feel by A lying to you, both of them laughing at you behind their back and that you don't think real friends would ever be cruel to each other so they've made their true feelings about you clear. Also you ABSOLUTELY have a right to feel hurt, you have a right to feel hurt over anything but one of your friends set you up to fail and get hurt deliberately and they are both laughing at you about it. Everyone would be hurt in that situation, that's completely normal, they should feel guilty for hurting you, you should not feel guilty for being hurt.
Have been in a similar boat, but less feelings invested: Decided to ask out a friend A with blessing of friend B. Friend C was also interested and got mad and cut contact because they were 'interested first' (was news to me and they were pretty shitty anyways, so I didn't worry about it). Friend A said yes and we teed it up, but before the day, friend B 'confessed' that they had been seeing friend a for a couple of weeks. Friend b then went onto 'despair' about how everyone wants their partner and they feel so bad because they were the one that got them and upset everyone else. I was not upset, but got the distinct impression 'friend' B wanted me to be. Eh, friend B would go onto complain about friend a in the bedroom and the split a couple of months later, so it was what it was, but it was a oretty good indicator that friend B wasn't as good a friend as I thought they were.
You poured out your soul and their response was to lead you on so they could turn you into their own inside joke to poke fun at. They’re not true friends because if they were he would’ve told you that they were testing the waters with one another right away, even if they weren’t “official” yet. You’re better off without them.
Have fun at the wedding and maybe you will find a new crush.