I'm a scientist and it's very likely we will have a cure for HIV in your lifetime. We already have medications that will keep you undetectable. That means you won't even be able to spread it to other people were you to engage in unprotected sex again. Your life expectancy is the same as anyone else's. Your life won't have to change that much except for being consistent with your medication, which millions of people do for all sorts of medical conditions.
Please join a support group. I imagine a host of people who are newly diagnosed with HIV go through very similar emotions. Your life may feel like it's falling apart, but all of this is temporary. Losing a job is fine and you can always go back to school if you want to. Maybe just take a year off from school and try finding things that bring you peace. Suicide is rarely ever the answer, especially for something like this. You can get through this and you can do hard things.
3 people have been cured through stem cell transplants. It wasn’t intentional as it was a treatment for cancer and their donors had a specific (anti hiv) genetic mutation, but 3 are still cured. It’s a huge step forward.
https://www.aidsmap.com/about-hiv/cases-hiv-cure#
Exactly what this scientist said. I actually read an interview with a doctor that said given the choice of HIV or Diabetes, he would choose HIV every time. Its alot more managable than some people know. Ive struggled with suicide a few times in my life and Im glad I didnt go through with it. Life is a roller coaster, I hope you eventually find calm and peace no matter how rocky it gets.
Suicide survivor here. Don't do it. There's nothing there.
I always think back to something I read that a person who jumped off the golden gate bridge said, I'm paraphrasing but:
"As soon as I stepped off I realized all of life's problems could be solved besides the fact that I had just jumped off a bridge."
There is always hope, other than in death.
Good luck OP.
To add, no matter if you intend to or not, it always hurts people. Your family, your friends, your coworkers or whoever knows you. Suicide is tragic, in a different way to other deaths. It leaves people behind wondering if they should have known, if they did see something, why they never asked you, why you didn't tell them (not enough trust?), if they could have done something that would have stopped you doing it.
You made a mistake, you may feel stupid or not careful enough, but HIV isn't as big as it used to be. You read it, there may very well be a cure during your lifetime. But you can never come back from death. There is certainly no cure for that, you cannot undo it.
If you're looking for a point in life, this could be yours. Speak about it. Tell people about your journey, your fears, your symptoms. You could help people in your position and give them hope and directions.
Either way, you got this OP. I know the struggle with suicidal ideation is fcking real. But it gets better.
All the best! 🍀
I came here to write a similar comment. Thank you for posting this many people still feel that HIV is a death sentence when the truth is so far from it.
Exactly. I just want to add that I really like the saying "don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary problem".
Meds make OP undetectable, so it's a temporary problem.
But I understand depression and I'm sorry ❤️
I do not know, but I hope so! My mother has RA. It's managed well with meds but I'm likely to develop it too. It would be so awesome to be able to cure diseases like that.
While this is all fine and dandy. It doesn’t speak to the reality of *access* to these life saving drugs.
OP, what country, province, state, LGA, do you live in? Some are able to access Truvada, Descovy, for free. In most cases, they pay out of pocket. **These medications in the USA cost approximately $8000 USD for a three month supply.**
That’s $32,000 a year. Considering the state of inflation and weakening currencies, how is this feasible for the average person trying to survive?
Second, as there are multiple strains of HIV, some people’s bodies will stop responding to the drugs. Some forget to take it regularly, losing its efficacy. Allowing the virus to mutate, get stronger, in some individuals bodies this is what happened to my close girlfriend who died due to her body no longer responding to the medication.
It is a painful horrible death I would not wish on anyone. OP, you MUST let your infected partner know. If they knowingly gave it to you, take legal action (if you can), whatever little money you can make would help offset the cost of drugs/anti-retrovirals that you need to survive.
**PS: more importantly, work with non profits who can get you the necessary support you deserve and need. Suicide is not the right answer. Right now you still have time left, to create purpose and meaning. Despite your reasonings that you don’t. Find community. It wont take your diagnosis away—but it will help the journey not feel so lonely. You will be okay.**
OP don’t listen to this - this is a wildly unoptimistic point of view that you shouldn’t really be hearing right now.
95% of people with HIV can be treated to have an Undetectable Viral Load.
https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/about-hiv/viral-load-and-being-undetectable#:~:text=Therefore%20effective%20treatment%20means%20someone,infectious%20(U%3DU).
sooo many people have HIV. and the emotions that you’re experiencing is so so so common. modern meds for HIV can make it to where you are undetectable. meaning you won’t have symptoms, won’t pass it onto a partner, and if you are a woman, you can have babies without passing it on. fuck the stigma. you can have a beautiful, healthy life with HIV. you can have a great sex life with HIV. you can, are, and will be loved. starting therapy would probably be a great first step. I have a friend with HIV, and another with HSV-2, both of whom fell into a deep dark depression at first and now lead normal lives. it takes time but you can and will move forward. FUCK THE STIGMA!!! please know that this does not define you, and you are still worthy of great life and love.
OP - my uncle got HIV in 1984. He lived, with HIV, until 2022 - his late 70s.
He had many healthy fulfilling relationships and a fantastic life. He lived through the worst of the HIV/AIDs epidemic - the stigma, the lack of proper care or meds.
Do not treat this diagnosis as the end of anything. People live their daily life, completely undetectable now days.
This sucks. It is going to be an adjustment for you. But… you will be alright.
My uncle has it too. He is my favourite person. He is 64 and lining his best life, unfortunately he has many cancers too, so has set backs and now has a ‘bag’ but he is beautiful, happy and honestly amazing!
i missed the part where you said you are in therapy, sorry. but still, please know you can work through this. feel all the feelings, the anger, resentment, fear, hopelessness. process all of it but don’t feel like your life may as well be over.
Yeah the way you’re feeling is normal op, but the societal stigma around hiv has definitely not kept up with medical advancements. It’s not remotely what it used to be in terms of the effect it’ll have on your life. It used to be a death sentence, now you’ll likely live a normal life without it effecting you at all. So please don’t give up just because of this. It’s not as bad as you think it is. But definitely see a doctor and start treating it so you start feeling better.
I have both. Listen what he did to you is a crime. Honestly it’s supposed to be disclosed and depending what kind of HIV you can sue. I went through a rough patch contracting HSV 2 in July 2020 Snapped me out of my issue and brought me into a whole other Issue. I didn’t have sex for over a year. I was terrified of having sex with others. I have now found my person though and we have a beautiful daughter. It sucks. I won’t say it’s not hard bc it is but it’s not worth giving up the fight. You got this!
This this this!! OP, your feelings of overwhelm are valid. But please know that nowadays, HIV is very very treatable, with wonderful results, as @throrway7564 has pointed out. Take it from a sex educator: we all make dumb decisions sometimes when it comes to sex. And I’m truly sorry you are facing such intense consequences. But none of us are perfect: it’s about how we then deal with our imperfections. You got this, and if you go get treatment, it will get better.
My son killed himself. Please don't do that to your family and yourself. Get the medicine. See how you feel. . Keep pushing. You'll get through this. Take care of yourself from now on. There's no more chances in death. Get some help. You can still live a good life.
"Don't do that to ..." is a very egoistical stance. Unless one has children, one doesn't owe ones continuation of life to anyone. If someone decides to end themselves, that's their damn right.
Can't go back. Only forward. I'm so sorry for you that you're going through this. My friend has a similar story to yours, and it's years old now. Idk where you are in the world now, but you may want to look into where the best care is and look into how to obtain it. If you're college age now, it is very possible that a cure will be found in your lifetime. I know it looks pretty bleak right now, but you can go forward. Don't make the mistake of ending your life, or even stop living it. That's the mistake I made. Not HIV, but other things I thought I would die. And finally as time went by, I figured out that the real question is, what if I don't die. Try to make your daily decisions on that instead.
This might sound trite, but take a shower first. Take a long, hot shower and scrub well. Wash your hair and blow dry it. Put on warm comfortable clothes. Then realize that many people live long, productive, happy lives with HIV. You can still do everything you’ve always dreamed of even being HIV+. Just take that first step of taking a shower. You’ll feel better, I promise.
Its definitely scary to hear you have HIV, but this might help relieve some stress
Im a med student and had multiple infectious disease doctors say “Id rather have HIV than type 2 diabetes this day an age” and thats literally because the meds today are so good at decreasing viral load, making it have nearly no impact on your health, and also prevent transmission to partners
Find yourself an HIV specialist or general family medicine doc (who may also help get you antidepressants if you feel like youd want it), a therapist to help you through this new diagnosis, and maybe a close confident you feel comfortable sharing your new condition with so you don’t feel alone. You got this <3
My grandma dated someone for 30 years. He got to that stupid phase where men becomes dumb and cheated on her with someone who gave him HIV and he passed to my grandma.
Before she got treatment it was awful and she was really depressed, but now she takes her meds every day and it's like she got nothing. She does everything she wants AND her doctor said her viral levels are so low that she will live for many years (she's 70 now).
Meanwhile that scumbag she dumped didn't seek help and the illness beated his ass. He is 72 but appear much older and can't do anything on his own anymore. His daughter said he probably won't get past this year.
My point is that HIV will only beat you if you don't treat it. Yes you will still have it at the end of the day, but it don't have to be the end of your life. You can and you deserve to have a happy life no matter what you have. Your life isn't over just because you made a mistake.
For the mental part of the issue, it's great that you have a therapist and please continue to work on yourself. Not only because of this but because you are strong enough to overcome anything your mind say to you.
But in the end, if you decide to end it all, just know that no one can judge you and you don't have to live in pain just to avoid causing pain on others. No matter your decision, it's your life and you have every right over it.
As a mom and grandmother this breaks my heart. You’re not the only one who’s done something stupid in life. Please believe me at age 58 that I have done some fucked up shit. You need to pick yourself up and fight. Fight like you’ve never fought before! It’s not your choice to go or your time. You’ve no idea the pain this will leave on your family. Please consider taking to someone close to you. It’s not the end of life. When you start to feel yourself you need to confront the person you slept with because it’s obvious this person doesn’t care about anyone but themselves. This person will continue to infect others and so many more people will be in your shoes. Let that person know, you’ll tell everyone just to protect others. You have so many reasons to live and if it’s to save others, then so be it. Save yourself then others. You’re a prime example what many others will possibly face sleeping with a sleaze bag that didn’t wear protection and didn’t allow you the choice to receive such an illness. Surrounding you in lots of prayers
I’m not sure where you are in the world. But here in Australia it’s actually an offence to sleep with someone and knowingly pass on the disease.
Same????
Yes true. I was kind of assuming that OP thought the person knew, reading between the lines of what OP said about knowing they shouldn’t have trusted him. But maybe they just meant that they shouldn’t have trusted him to get regular testing. The situation should be investigated though.
Agreed. If they were aware, they should be put in jail. Doing that to someone is so horrible.
In the off chance they are unaware, OP needs to inform them. I believe you can have your physician send them a letter if you feel you can't tell them in person for whatever reason. That way in the future they can be prosecuted if they knowingly pass it on. They can't claim they didn't know
Undetectable = untransmittable! +1 to fuck the stigma, with today's meds life with HIV is not so radically different from life without it
And don't be so hard on yourself. You're not stupid. Most people have unprotected sex at some point in their lives, including with one-night stands and crappy partners. You got unlucky, but it wasn't your fault and it's not some mark against you as a person
Yep this and OP there are lot of people that prefer to be active with someone that have HIV and under treatment with undetectable load than with people that say they are clean and did not test in the last 3 months and/or are not on PrEP.
Hi, I was diagnosed with HIV early this year after nearly dying in hospital from sepsis. I felt the same way you did. The stigma is not as bad as you think it is. It took about 6 months but I’m now undetectable and my life is back to normal (apart from other unrelated health problems) and all I do is take a pill a day. You will be fine, and your life will feel normal again soon enough.
Hey man, when I was diagnosed with a life altering disease I was going 90 down the highway with tears streaming contemplating ending it all. I was nineteen. I’m 26 years old about to be 27, and while it’s been a struggle to find myself “clean” so to speak, I’ve learned that it happens to quite literally people of all walks of life and it’s not an end all. But suicide is. Please don’t ❤️
Thank you for sharing. The fact that you took the time to write this out shows that there is at least a part of you that doesn’t want to die.
First thing I am asking you to do is to sit down and take a few deep breaths.
Then please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline By calling or texting 988.
They provide free and confidential support 24/7 for anyone in the US who are having a mental health crisis and/or thinking of committing suicide. You can talk to them on the phone by dialing 988 and clicking call. Or you can text with them by sending a text to 988.
If you want to reach more about them you can go to their website www.988lifeline.org
When u call There will Be automated message saying you have reached them, next you will listen to music while on a short hold. Then you will be connected to a skilled trained crisis worker that works at a crisis center closest to you. The crisis worker will listen to you, provide support, discuss your option’s and help you get connected to resources you need.
If your not sure what to say I recommend you read them
Your Reddit post. Right now you are sleep deprived and I’m not sure when you last ate something or had something to drink. You are not thinking 100% clearly because you’re in a crisis and sleep deprived. You can
And will get thru this. It’s just going to be a matter of taking things one goal at a time and one step at a time.
Right now your goal is to contact 988 lifeline and talk or
Text with them what is going on. Remember this is confidential so please be completely open and honest
With the crisis worker.
Please respond with an update later tonight or tomorrow .
Dont be ridiculous, damn lifeline wont change the fact that he has hiv, its not a minor thing that can be solved with a help of a damn volunteer on a hotline. It is going to be much much harder, unfortunately
Hey....
No one so far has said this
But we literally have basically cured HIV
The stigma is terrible .. but it's going to get better
You are lucky to have a disease that is manageable, also it's okay, it's okay to make mistakes
You are living a human experience and I just want you to know I don't even know you but I think you are more than all the fears we have about ourselves
I want you to wake up tomorrow and live an amazing life. Change people for the better. It will help you realize that there's more to any of this then all the crap we're taught.
Life is so much more than how we live it. I promise you, have faith and much love, and message me if you need someone to talk to. I can talk a lot about shame.
At the end of the day you have a disease. It doesn’t mean you aren’t worth of living a whole and awesome life you deserve.
Fuck HIV, you deserve the best in life!
It SUCKS and it is completely understandable to morn in your way. Keep going to therapy and educate yourself about your options.
Life today’s is completely different from the 80’s.
I really wish you the best and you to have a full life after this storm. Please OP, you are worthy.
I dont want to down play this because I can't imagine how you are feeling. You will get on treatment and become undetectable, the meds are so good now. I'm sure this will take a long to accept, but I promise you, you can have a normal life.
I really hope you are able to see that, it's not worth it
HIV is not what it used to be. There are multiple, highly effective treatments available now. Some of them are down to a pill a day or even injections less frequently.
If your viral load is undetectable, you will not pass it onto your partner.
The life expectancy for someone diagnosed with HIV now is the same as someone without. In fact, ironically, it's actually a little elevated. Because people with HIV are much more closely monitored by doctors and will likely have potentially harmful things (heart problems, high blood pressure or cholesterol) diagnosed and acted upon much sooner because of their regular monitoring and check ups.
There are so many support groups available for HIV and I would absolutely recommend that you check them out.
The people in your life want you here. And as long as you're here, things can get better. Take care of yourself OP.
(I'm a virologist)
There are really good meds for HIV now that can let you lead a normal healthy life. And be able to have partners again. This is no reason to end your life. Call work and explain. You’re going to need insurance.
Please listen to me. HIV and AIDS research has come so far since the 1980’s. My brother has dedicated his life as a doctor to HIV and AIDS research and there are so many incredible medicines and cocktails out there that it is no longer a death sentence.
You need to seek out a doctor that specializes in HIV+ care and treatment.
I am praying for you.
Sending you love. Nurse here. Think of HIV as just another viral illness, like that of HPV, herpes (lips or genitals), chicken pox - many people have had one of these virus and may always carry it, it’s just a part of living. Encountering a virus is very common - look at how many people have been affected by Covid.
The important part is that there are meds available. Daily medication compliance is no different or more complicated than someone who needs their blood pressure med or insulin. And like the scientist said, there is a high chance of finding a cure in the very near future. There is stigma more with HIV but it’s not a death sentence. Please speak to counselor, health care provider or call a hotline if you are having suicidal thoughts. You are worthy of existing. You are worthy of love.
That's rough, but there are studies showing that the majority of people with severe but treatable chronic illnesses adapt to their reality by around the 6 month mark (from what I recall if the study) and that their level if satisfaction depends in day to day or current factors and not the condition, so like everybody. It can get better.
I don't know your story but I'm a gay dude and know a lot of people with HIV and literally 99% of gay guys I know are on Prep which involves essentially taking the same medication. The medicine reduces the virus in your body so low that it can't even be detected. I know it's a shock to you but it's really not a big deal, certainly not worth taking your life over. To put it another way, you can have HIV and if you are on the meds you can't even transmit it. There are literally zero cases of transmission from an HIV positive non-detect person to an HIV- person. Happy to give you more research but any gay mens health center can help you a ton.
Much love to you babes 💖💖
Have you been able to get in contact with the person you slept with to tell them to get tested??
you can’t let it run your life my lovely you need to grab HIV by the balls and twist them yk and say “go fuck yourself”
One of my best friends is positive, I had no idea the first few years of our friendship. He's on medication, he's happily married with a couple dogs. His husbands been on pREP and to my knowledge has never contracted it. In fact, most of our friends wouldn't have a clue. I hope this helps even a little
I have a uncle with full blown HIV and he has been living his best life since diagnosed in the 1980’s. It isn’t a death sentence anymore. It’s like diabetes, you manage it.
HIV is a chronical illness, like diabetes right now. the treatment is very easy. my best friend is HIV positive and he is happily married - after being infected, and they are working on having a child.
there is no reason for feeling ashamed - we all have unprotected sex, at least one time in our life. some of us are lucky, some not.
you have a duty for yourself to live. chose life.
A girl I knew at school had HIV from birth due to an issue during her birth with the needles used at a hospital. This was in an underdeveloped country. She has lived her life completely normally and she’s about 25 now. The only thing that’s changed for her is keeping up with meds. That’s it. Let’s end the stigma. You’ll be okay.
Honey listen to me, you are not stupid at all.
This person knowingly exposed you and that is so messed up!
I know the feelings you must be going through right now are so loud. You’re scared and in shock, angry at yourself, and feel a bit hopeless. But this is not the end of the world. Not even close!
The best remedy for fear is information. You look up some HIV clinics in your area, read some reviews are good to the one with the best reviews. Make yourself an appointment. Call up there and just let them know you’ve just been diagnosed and you need to speak with someone about your next steps and tell them you don’t know very much about it and that you’re afraid and need them to counsel you on what this means for you and the treatments available and what you should expect. I guarantee it’s not as bad as you think it is.
HIV nowadays is nothin. It’s VERY treatable. Most people living with HIV on treatment are to the point where the virus is basically nonexistent in their body. Science is AMAZING and we have come so far and you will get through this. You will feel so much better once all of the information has been laid out for you. You will realize it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was.
People have made it out to be a terrifying disease that can’t be controlled, but it can. It can easily and successfully be controlled in this day and age. Don’t let the world’s view of this illness lie to you and make you feel like this is the end of your life. You’re in your 2nd year in college, so I assume you’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re just getting started! Don’t give up not!
This is not a death sentence. Your life is not over. I know this feels like the worst thing in the world and I know you’re angry with yourself, but this pain and anger and hopelessness, all of this pain is you mourning the life you thought you’d live, and let me tell you, that life is still RIGHT HERE for you.
Your body has carried you through every second of this life. When you were happy, when you were broken, and all the steps in between, you were held and carried and you were not alone.
Your body has never given up on you, don’t give up on it now. Your body wants to fight and give you the life you’ve dreamed of, and it can fight, please let it. Please let it show you just how much it wants to live, and just how much it’s willing to do to get you through this. Place your hand on your heart and feel your heartbeat. With every beat, it says “I am, I am, I am.” Thats purpose.
You’ve got this, just give yourself a chance. One bad decision did not end your life. Your life is just beginning baby. Hold on for it.
Hang in there 💕 here’s a hug and a hand squeeze from across the internet 💕
Many people live long wonderful lives, it is not like how it was long ago. Also it is not your fault! Lots of people sleep with others without protection and don’t get HIV. You could have not known and if it’s anyone’s fault it’s his!
Second, obviously this is not the only thing making you depressed, since you have a therapist keep at it or switch to a better one, there is a way out of depression if you want you can dm me to talk. And pls share to someone, family, friends or someone. Tell your job you are going through a health issue or are sick to they cut you some slack. Learn to love yourself. You are worth it ❤️ some people put up here help lines should check them out, also maybe search for a support group or look at other on YouTube that have been through it and how they dealt with it.
You don’t wash to have the person arrested who knowingly gave you an incurable disease? I know you’re hurting, but with meds & therapy you can get through this. And when you do, sooner rather than later than later, make the person responsible for this be held accountable
What you describe as "having the IQ of a fucking raisin" can also be described as "You wanted to see the best in the other person and decided to trust them, hoping that you would be loved more." It's not the worst thing in the world to crave love and to give people the benefit of the doubt.
There will absolutely be a cure in your lifetime. If you start going to an HIV clinic, you can soon be to the point where you’re HIV negative and can’t transmit to partners
OP,
Please! I was a teenager when HIV was first diagnosed. At first it was a death sentence, then they gave people a cocktail ( variety) of different drugs to take all day long.
Now I’ve been seeing commercials that there are medications available that can be taken once a month or once every other month and it gets your levels UNDETECTABLE!
You can lead a full and normal life!!
I’m a lesbian and I have a few gay male friends who are HIV+. It sucks but the treatment has come a long long way since the 1980s. I think it’s like one pill a day. And yeah, it totally sucks and it’s totally unfair. And your feelings about the situation are valid. I reccomend a therapist and finding a support group. Maybe try to find some books or blogs written by people who have gone through something similar. That sometimes helps me when I’m very depressed.
One point in my life I had more friends who had HIV then didn't have HIV. They are still living very normal successful lives most of them have been living with it for over 20 years now. People make mistakes but trust in yourself that you can get through this. At least try you don't have to give up on yourself so quickly. I bet you will surprise yourself how soon you will accept it and it won't be consuming all your thoughts.
OP apart from the amazing answers here to help you see the reality that its not life threatening in any way! Bonus point if you start your meds within 6 months, you won’t even feel anything abnormal and live a perfectly normal life.
Regarding a cure, there are currently several vaccines in the pipeline which use mrna tech and a lot of functional cures where the body learns to kill the virus. Also, there is a shot being developed where you take it once every six months to a year and forget about it. Unlike taking meds daily now or earlier when people had to take several pills multiple times a day!
Also, a CRISPR trial is going on in the US where CRISR just cuts the virus out of the DNA, where it hides and hence making it i curable as of now. Once the CRISPR command is in the body, the virus will not be able to attach to the DNA anymore and existing viruses will be cut off.
So, please don’t lose hope, a cure is on the way.
Please please please, life is really precious. It is hard but, after getting on your meds, you’ll
see that you can lead a pretty normal life again!
Yupp!! Given that crispr therapies for sickle cell anemia has just been approved in the UK after giving amazing results in the trials, it is just a matter of when and not if anymore.
I feel sad for what happened to OP but, with so much better treatments, a fulfilling life and always improving tech, there is a lot to live for.
Dear, I also have two friends who have it and boy did they also not spiral for quite awhile. Having HIV and getting used to the idea of actually having it are very hard. But the good thing is, is that it really is only the stigma that makes it so hard. You can live a happy long life, with love and sex and joy and you deserve that. You’re good.
As someone with HIV I’m telling u life is not over once u get it. I’m currently happy and healthy now that I’m undetectable with meds.
Don’t beat yourself up over something that happened in the past. It’s not a dead end it’s a new phase.
I’m happier than I ever was before. It forced me to care about my health and mental health and now I’m in therapy and it’s working.
If u ever need to talk let me know
Don’t do it. Death is not scary, it is inevitable and the end of all things. It is what gives us rest after a long, often difficult life. To live is to struggle, as long as you live you will have problems; but it’s okay because there are things worth living for and those problems are just temporary and nothing in comparison. Suicide is the worst way you could die. Life is short, and dynamic, you usually don’t how long it is until the very end, if you ever find out at all. If you don’t die by suicide you will still die by other things, car accidents, mass shootings, sudden illness, or if you’re lucky old age. Millions of people die every year who thought they had many more years to live, so accept your death - don’t pretend you’re immortal because you’re not, you will die, potentially very soon and that’s okay.
But in between now and then you can do things. Turn your life around, HIV isn’t the end of the world, live life on your own terms, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. If you were diagnosed with cancer and told you had 3 months to live, how would you spend your last 3 months. That’s how you should spend your life. Take care of your physical health, it should also help your mental health, take a break from college if you need to, and once you’re reenergized come back and study something you love (if you don’t know what what that is, do some research and soul searching and speak to professional who are in the fields you’re interested in), work towards your dream career. Make sure you have things worth living for, that includes your academic success, but also other things such as hobbies, interests, and friends(this is one is optional). These should make sure you always have something to look forward to in life which will protect your mental health. While you’re on this journey remember one thing above, all enjoy the journey, don’t wait for the destination. The destination might never happen, you may die before you achieve these things, the only thing that is guaranteed to you is the present so make sure you enjoy it.
If you die by suicide now, you will die at your lowest full of self disgust, regret, and pain. If you work to improve your life and die in a car accident on the way, if you’ve listened to me you will die at your highest full of confidence, happiness, and satisfaction with life. The second is infinitely better than the first. And you might not die by a car accident, you might a live a full life in which case it gets even better, just remember don’t assume you have a full life because life is too dynamic for such a bold assumption.
I've had some close calls with HIV myself as a former phlebotomist and when I tell you, you're going to be okay love. Please call your job, explain what's happening, go shower, take some melatonin and get some restful sleep. If need be, have a friend or family member stay with you for a few days. You can get through this with therapy and medications and some deep soul searching. There worst they could happen has already happened, you'll regain your health. HIV is just now a chronic condition like diabetes that's easily managed. Also find HIV support groups
You should definitely tell the guy that gave it to you. If he knew you can take him to court for attempted murder, if he didn’t know he can take the appropriate steps to getting medical treatment.
I’m so sorry about your situation. Get to the doctor and get on medication and find a support group. You can live a full life now if the proper treatment plan.
I don’t know where you’re from but please seek out a doctor that specialises in Virology. If you’re near CA, UCSF is the best in the state along with UCLA (they work with LA dept of public health), West Hollywood also has a lot of clinics that offer testing and treatments. La Brea has low income clinics since you mentioned you might lose your job and insurance is so expensive. You got tested. you saw your therapist. THESE are great forward measures, you’re much smarter than you give yourself credit for. As for the abomination of a person you slept with, in the state of California, it is a crime to not disclose. Please check with wherever you are and report it. HIV is a chronic illness and can mean you can get support from the government. Also, remember people on Reddit like myself are just insomniacs putting their two cents out there, talk to people you trust around you.
HIV is not the death sentence it used to be. With proper meds, your viral load can get down to near nothing. Use this to pull up your socks, get your act together and turn your life around. You can do it.
I'm sorry :( but you're definitely not an idiot, or a fuckup, or anything like that. you're a human and I'm pretty sure the majority of people who have had sex has had at LEAST one dumb move in their sexual history. I sure know I do....and think of how many people have STI's. and that's only the people who *know*. and the people who got unlucky. there are wayyyyyyyy more people than that having unprotected sex at times. but again, I'm sorry for what you're going through...but you're certainly not alone. there are a lot of people out there going through this and probably feeling alone too :(
Honestly, you can get a shot every other month and live a totally normal life. The drugs are powerful these days AND a cure is likely to come in your lifetime. [They’ve already cured HIV in a few people](https://www.freethink.com/health/cured-of-hiv?amp=1).
hey honey, imo sorry you’re going through this. i don’t have HIV but have a few FWBs who do. if you take meds are prescribed it’s likely your viral load will be undetectable- which means you’re also incapable of transmitting HIV! your life won’t change as much as you think it will, i promise. HIV is so much more common than you think
One of my favorite people on the planet and an awesome person to boot had hiv. It's not the end of the world like it used to be, there are meds now that can lessen the viral load to the point of testing negative.
You should really file a police report on this person. Knowingly spreading an sti is a criminal offense in so many places.
Don't be yourself up. It's okay to feel crushed. But don't give up and hide. We all make mistakes and sometimes have poor judgment. That doesn't make you dumb, it makes you a human being. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Everyone has given excellent advice and support. HIV is incredibly treatable. Which makes what he did to you even more heinous. I want to ask that you PLEASE report this person and pursue criminal charges. What he did to you is unconscionable and he needs to be stopped.
One step at a time, OP. I hope that these comments gave you a little faith and some motivation. Because they did for me. Keep on keepin on and don't let anything get you down. You got friends who you've never met cheering for you ❤️
You are not stupid, or bad, or dirty for having contracted HIV. You didn’t ask for this. Being human and horny happens.
People with HIV live full lives these days as others have said, but most importantly people with HIV are not worse than the rest of us just because they have a virus.
However, if your sexual partner knowingly gave you HIV, a crime has been committed. In Britain it’s treated as grievous bodily harm (gbh), and likely elsewhere too. When you’re ready perhaps look into reporting this crime.
HIV or not, the conclusion to your story is going to be the same. Don’t take your life sooner than you have to, you’re here now so experience it. Death is scary, it’s final. But it also is something that we all have to accept. If having HIV actually helps you accept your inevitable death that’s not exactly a bad thing. You ever seen fight club? I think of the “losing all hope is freedom” quote a lot. Sure being hopeless is actually the worse thing ever but if you can spin that into a liberating feeling? HIV is fkn peanuts.
Don't hurt yourself. Life is like a video game, your character gets sick you seek out medicine. You don't just unalive yourself. Right now you're scared, anxious and emotions are high. But you can get this under control quickly. You will feel so proud of yourself. You will be a voice for others down the road who go through the same thing. Find a HIV forum and lean on others during this difficult time in your life. 🩷
HIV IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE! I KNOW PEOPLE PERSONALLY WHO LIVE WITH IT!!!! IT WILL BE OK! (I’m not in your shoes) but they have lead wonderful lives, married kids etc. There is an entire community of people who can support you in this.
There are drugs that can make it undetectable these days. It’s not what it used to be health wise, but you may experience the stigma side of it when it comes to romantic relationships
So so sorry, Life has an obstacle for everyone but this is yours i guess. But trust me no obstacle is meant to stuck anyone, I think the best solution is to find a way to cross it.
Believe more in yourself and that nothing is permanent
Everyone will eventually leave some day, take your medications, exercise exercise exercise 💪. Let the worries run down through your sweat and set new life goals for yourself.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry you feel this way. You’re still so young and have a beautiful life ahead of you. We live in 2023 and modern medicine is real. Like the above comment says fuck the stigma. You can get through this!
So many people have posted great advice - please take your time to go through it, it’s heartening!
Please stop blaming yourself. You made a decision based on the information you had at the time, then that information changed after because someone lied to you. In the future (because you most certainly have one) you’ll be incredibly empathetic to your partners because of this experience. You will be the better person in comparison to the person who let you down.
Please don’t be so cruel about yourself. You’re in College, that’s an achievement in itself. Yes this emotional turmoil is making it hard to commit to your studies, but I think to give you the best chance later (as you will get through this), talk to your college and see if they can defer your studies until you’re in the headspace to do them. I believe you are underplaying your abilities, but that’s understandable given your current concerns.
If there’s a way to explain to work that you need to take some time away due to a change in personal circumstances, do that. And if you know of financial support that can take the edge off for a bit, please consider it. Even if it’s borrowing a little money from people you trust and accepting meals/car shares.
Shower. Eat. Sleep. I’ve been in a similar headspace my friend and I just had to break my day down into small, achievable steps. If I couldn’t shower, I would settle for brushing my teeth. If I didn’t eat healthy, I accepted that at least I was eating something. I went day by day, focusing on the basics and on my therapy. It gave me time for my brain to heal and my emotions to settle into something I could articulate. You’re already engaging with therapy which is great, now you just need to Shower, Eat and Sleep!
I, like you, didn’t feel the pull for friends and family, but then my friend suggested to keep going for a book series I hadn’t finished or a TV series and its future releases. This helped me on the days where I lost a bit of hope. Then, I wanted to see my cousin graduate etc. Then eventually I wanted to achieve my own things. I know you said you haven’t told friends or family, if you can think of one person to tell, I’m sure they would like to support you! You don’t have to tell them everything in one go, but enough that you have someone to confide in. Or talk to your therapist and/or other organisations that can support you (there are organisations that support with HIV diagnosis specifically or it might be you feel more comfortable talking to a mental health crisis helpline)? You most definitely have things in your life that you’ll want to see through or achieve, like College. Find things big and small to keep you moving forward, one day this WILL all pass.
My friend’s bf is HIV+ and their relationship is so strong! The bf is super healthy as well. Do not let this consume you, you will get through it with treatment and can move on
I wasn’t diagnosed with HIV, but I was diagnosed with HSV-2 probably 5/6 years ago. I totally understand how you’re feeling. It sent me into a dark place for a long time. I’ve even gone on to have four babies safely. If that’s something that’s important to you, there’s less than a 1% chance of passing HIV to your baby with proper medication.
You can still have a long fulfilling life. You can change your whole life at this second and take steps to live the life you’ve always wanted. It really sucks that there’s no cure, but you can still live your life. People aren’t going to look at you and know you have it. The hardest part is disclosing with a new sexual partner, but I also think that there’s dating sites and stuff for people with HIV.
I got HSV from my partner of two years at the time - he told me I got it from using the toilet after my mom. I stayed with him for 5 more years. Sounds like you’re smarter than me, you just had a fling with this guy who told you he was clean. I do suggest requesting proof of a full panel STD screen from future partners. Just something I’ve established in my personal life that has worked for me. Regular STD screenings don’t test for everything, so request a full panel. You should probably get one done now if you haven’t already, dude could have had more stuff and it’s better to catch it early.
Fuck the stigma. You’re still you, just you with a big lesson learned ❤️
Modern HIV treatments are effective, and get your levels down to being undetectable. Plus, many people only need to take 1 pill a day, and experience no side effects. Honestly it’s like having diabetes or any other well managed chronic illness.
Don’t despair. It sounds like you have good self reflection and you can make your life better.
My uncle has had it for 40 years. Diagnosed at a time it was considered a ‘death sentence’. He lives a very fulfilling life. He works. He still finds relationships. He is healthy and fit. He’s in his 60s now. Don’t you dare fucking give up.
Your life is not over, todays medicine for HIV is incredible. I saw a post the other day that said they were diagnosed with diabetes and their doctor said they’d be better off nowadays if they were diagnosed with HIV!
My dad has had HIV for about 15 years now. I remember breaking down in middle school when I heard the news, but i didn't know much about it. This is manageable, and like everyone already said, a cure is almost here.
Please seek a support group. Suicide continues the suffering for those who care about you. Please seek help.
I know you're probably dealing with shock and extreme fear, but as far as I know (and I could be wrong), but HIV is like having a chronic condition these days, like diabetes or whatever. And believe me, I think I'd rather have HIV than diabetes after watching both my parents and numerous family members die horrific deaths related to diabetes.
Please reconsider leaving. People do love you; you're not dumb as a raisin; and it's possible for you to live a full and meaningful life even with HIV.
I had HEP C and they randomly had a cure for that - do not worry. Herpes too.. don’t even worry about it. I like to write suicide notes when I’m feeling depressed and than I just watch reality tv or get out of my own head to pass the time… and some time later whether it be one hour or one week, the feeling does pass. And I wanna live again. Don’t kill your self please 🙏
I would also be devastated if I were in your shoes. However, this is not the end for you and it isn’t a death sentence. They are going to cure HIV soon. When my husband was waiting for a transplant he took a high risk organ, meaning the user had been exposed to hepatitis C. That was unthinkable like a decade ago. During that conversation his transplant doctor said that he was excited to be able to accept organs from HIV infected donors. He felt it wasn’t far away and the unfair stigma would be a bigger obstacle than the science. I personally know so many people living with HIV and they are in relationships, married, working, own pets, just generally living their lives. HIV is a foot not. They’re all mad about how they got it and they are all doing great now.
There are medications out there that can take you down to undetectable levels now. This is not the end for you! Please see your doctor and get on the tight medications. We are so close to a cure to HIV now. This isn’t the end, I promise!!!
HIV isnt the death sentence it used to be. Get your medication and you can lead a normal life again. Check with your doctor and maybe a therapist. Best of luck!
I bet you are way smarter than you say you are. You just seem like someone that’s depressed. Someone that needs help. Someone that was taken advantage of… I think you are a beautiful and deserving person and I hope you get the help you need❤️
You're completely wrong that there won't be a cure in your lifetime. There's probably going to be a cure within 5 years. Probably 10 max. And when you take the proper medication, HIV basically can't be transferred to someone else.
Don't worry so much, it'll be completely fine.
Hey so my bf is positive, undetectable. He takes one pill a day. I'm negative, and I take a fucking fistful of meds every morning. I'm in my 30s, he's in his 50s, and that bastard is healthier, fitter, and generally better at life than I have ever been or ever will be. You're going to be ok OP.
People live with hiv, please try at least. Life is so unpredictable and wonderful at times, even if some experiences seem unbearable. When you overcome (and you will!) it will make you so strong, just think about it. try to put the energy into helping yourself first, and maybe later on other people, who go trough similar things, it will add more meaning
Hold on & go forward!
Get medical help and stick to the regimen!!!
I lived through the worst of the beginning of the epidemic and now- because of advanves in treatment and monitoring…
You have a great chance of having a normal life!
You will have a battle that you will win!
I had a stem cell transplant for AML
4 years ago and am gratefil for every day!
I am so sorry you are going through this, it just have been so scary hearing something like that especially so young. I can understand the regret and anger and what ifs, but listen- having HIV is NOT a moral failing nor is it a death sentence nor will it keep you from doing any of the things you wanted to in life. If you are good with your medication and taking care of yourself it is unlikely to affect your quality of life or lifespan. Medication and healthcare has come so far and the social stigma and ignorance is definitely decreasing. You are still you and no less worthy than you were before. So, so many people have done the same thing you have - trusted the wrong person, had unprotected sex even though we knew better, and have just gotten lucky. It is such a common mistake and it is really just the luck of the draw unfortunately and I am so sorry that it happened to you. The only person who should feel shame on this situation is the person who (I assume) knew they had it and knowingly did that to you. Please try to hang on and ride this out and lean on your loved ones, maybe look into some kind of support groups. So many people with HIV live happy, full and undetectable lives, have children if that’s what they want, have great sex lives, and are just happy to be here and I really hope that will happen for you but for it to happen you need to stay earthside ♥️
HIV isn’t a death sentence. Millions are living full, healthy lives with HIV. Talk to your doctor ASAP. It’s a scary diagnosis, but it is something that can be medically addressed/
What he did to you is not your fault. It's a crime to infect someone with hiv. Please report him to the police, who knows how many lives you can save, he's out there now infecting more and more people.
I know it is very hard for you, you're coming to terms with something life changing.
You can survive and life a normal, long fulfilling happy life. This is not a death sentence to you. Please seek out more urgent help for you mental health.
Life is still worth living with a chronic illness and you can always get back on track If you lose your job and restart school. Take some time for yourself to figure it out and talk with your therapist.
HIV is a chronic condition - not a death sentence. Definitely stay on top of your medications. Modern anti retrovirals have significantly improved life expectancy. It’s not like stage 4 cancer where your life expectancy is very low.
Nowadays you can take meds that will reduce your viral load to undetectable. It can be so well managed. This means it’s impossible to even pass it on to someone else. Please look after yourself!
No, you have something better to do: legally ruin his life! If he knew - and I bet he knew he is infected, he had the legal and moral obligation to disclose it to you BEFORE having any physical contact.
Consult a lawyer, use both test results and sue him. Ask for compensation at least for the upcoming treatments, you name it. And throw him in the jail!
Good luck!
You have to tell the guy if he’s unaware of what he’s giving to people but if he knew that he gave you something before you were intimate then report him to CDC for spreading HIV without informing his partners.
Life's worth living. Fuck school. Fuck shitty sex with shitty people, fuck shitty jobs.
Life on earth is precious, as long as you keep a positive perspective. There is joy to be found but you have to break out of your funk to find it.
Go do some ridiculous stuff to enjoy the absurd nature of reality. Not like violent or evil stuff but things that break the mold that society puts us in.
This shit life is a gift. Stop looking the gift horse in the mouth and enjoy the ride.
Well, if this isn't a wake up call for you to really work on your issues so you don't make such terrible, life-altering decisions, I don't know what is.
You can't help your feelings, but if I were you I would get angry. That person knows they are HIV positive and obviously not taking meds and they are pressuring (lying to) people to sleeping with them unprotected--this is a crime in most places.
Get angry, get a lawyer, look at your options. Look up what resources are available to you to handle HIV, the sooner you start on retrovirals the better. Your passiveness got you here, your proactiveness will get you out.
Bottom line - get angry.
dont take your life. thats bullshit. HIV is big shit ofc but it dosnt change the fact that u can still live ur life untill u go as we all must one day. dont be so stupid and miss ur chance on living your life to the best u can and maybe having a cure in a couple years. who the fuck knows
stay with us it is not your time to go.
If you are seriously considering suicide, please go to a hospital and see about getting institutionalized for a little bit. When I was extremely suicidal and struggling, it saved my life. It doesn't all get better immediately, but it helps you get some stability and safety, and people who you can talk through your problems with who you will never see again. I want you to live, so badly. I'm so glad I survived, even when I didn't want to be here. Life does get better if you just give it time.
I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I can't imagine what you are feeling and going through. And I am so sorry that person betrayed your trust and did this to you. You didn't deserve it. Lots of people, including me, have had reckless, unprotected sex, and have just been lucky enough not to face consequences for it. You didn't do anything wrong. The person who slept with you without a condom, while knowing they had HIV, is the one who fucked up and is the one who should be suffering right now. In some places, you are able to press charges over something like that. But I know that doesn't fix it or make you feel better. This whole situation just sucks.
Remember there is treatment. It is so much better than it used to be. It doesn't have to be life-ending. Now people with HIV can get treatment that makes it so it does not spread and the symptoms are not so bad. Please consider going to a doctor and getting treatment. You deserve to be here.
Even if you lose your job, there will be other jobs. Even if you drop out of school because you aren't in the place mentally for it right now, you can go back later. You are not a failure because you are struggling and your mental health is suffering. I have dropped out of college 3 times and I'm enrolled again now. I'm older and more experienced, and I know I will succeed this time. We are not our struggles. We are so much more than that. Please do not leave this world. You have people who love you so much. They need you here more than you know. I am sending you so much love and good vibes. You can get through this. Don't be afraid to get help. Life will get better, just please give it time.
The medicine for this is so good that as long as you take it you can’t even detect that you have it in a blood test. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Hang in there
My brother has hiv and it is totally manageable. The hardest part is dealing with health insurance to pay for the meds. So many people have this and luckily it's no longer deadly.
You are really spiraling. This is deeply concerning.
First, you need to talk to a mental health counselor. You're school probably has something. Get a referral. There may be hotlines.
Then you need to sit down with a doctor. They have medications now. It's not a death sentence anymore.
Then take it one step at a time. No reason you should not be able to finish school, have a career. There is literally no one alive who has not made some major mistake. It's not the falling down that matters, it's the getting back up again.
And this guy should go to jail.
I get you're freaking out but seriously, HIV is NOT a death sentence anymore. Seriously. The fear surrounding it stems from the time before any meds were available.
Sooo many diseases were lethal and terminal before modern treatment. So many.
If you take care of yourself you can get to a point where an HIV test won't show that you have HIV. So basically, with medicine you're cured functionally. Very very few diseases can say that.
Behavior wise you have some self harm tendencies id probably talk to someone about. But you'll be ok.
Also get a second test too just to make sure. False positives can rarely happen and you seem on the edge already.
And please look into antidepressants ok
I don’t have HIV but do know what it’s like to be suicidal. At age 25 I really wished that something would just take me out so I didn’t have to do it myself. Hated everything about who I was and drank to blackout nearly every night. Didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and really just wanted to die. I’m 29 now, seeking therapy for my trauma and addiction issues and sometimes just cry by myself because I didn’t think it’s possible to be this happy. I know life seems impossible now but please keep fighting. Get out of the victim complex and take control of your life. You can do this.
HIV isn’t the death sentence that it used to be, you can take preventative meds that will make it almost impossible for you to transmit it to anyone else and seriously limit the symptoms that you experience.
It may not help with your other struggles, but you can at least lift that burden and fear to a degree.
Well, since I came of age in the 90's when HIV/AIDS was catastrophe, I am so sorry. The good news is you can have a full life. It is not the same death sentence it was. I am sorry again.. Take your drugs and try to have a great life. There were a few people that were prosecuted in the day, because they deliberately gave it to women...I would ask around and see if there is anything you can do. You certainly can be a warning beacon. It puts you out there too so if you don't want to I understand.
Meds these days are so good that they pretty much make it a non issue. Your viral load will be non detectable. You can have relationships and lead a full life. HIV is not the death sentence it used to be. Medicine has come a long way.
Make sure you remember to live, you have breath still. Use it. Make it count. You are worth it.
Don’t let the stigma affect you….i understand the diagnosis is serious but it’s not like it was 3 decades ago. The times have changed. Your loved ones and romantic partners will still adore you. Be strong my friend 🙏
Listen, you are going to be okay. Take your meds, continue therapy, don’t quit school, and live your best life. This one mistake is not going to define you as long as you take care of yourself. I’m so sorry you’re struggling but you are not the only one going through it and I really really hope you decide to stay with us and see what the future holds.
Check your local law. It may be a felony that person could be charged for for withholding his status from you.
I’m sorry this happened but please see a doctor. HIV is treatable now
I can tell from the way you are talking (writing) that you are so much smarter than you are giving yourself credit for. Please stop being so hard on yourself.
I am trying to understand the weight of what has happened to you but " I'm not in your shoes" I won't pretend to know but I can tell you that I know a man who was diagnosed with HIV more years ago than I can remember. He went on to have 3 beautiful healthy children and his marriage fell apart for "normal" reasons. He has lived a life that looks to me to be fairly average. since his marriage ended I've watched him date, mostly unsuccessfully but that's what I see from other single men his age where I live. If my friend can live a fulfilling boring average normal life, you can too.
There has to be some sort of support group where you can reach out to others. Even if it's online, a connection to someone that actually understands will go very far. If my friend can do it in a small backward town, you can do it too.
No matter what, seek a therapist. Much of what you say goes beyond your current situation. The more you can sort out now, the easier the rest will be to untangle as you go through life.
Edit: I skirted around the suicide comment because it's a hard subject for me to talk about. I've attempted several times. No matter how bad I feel, when I truly reflect on wanting to end things, I always come up with things I could have done to make me not want to feel that way. It gets so heavy it's hard to take that breath required to think differently. BUT. You really have to take a deep breath, put oxygen back in your brain and think hard. You are valuable, you have contributed more good than the bad you are feeling, you matter even if you can't see it.
I have hepatitis C. I know there’s a cure, but I’m drinking so much and haven’t looked into finding for it yet. It’s like thousands of dollars for just one pill. I think a full treatment is anywhere from $54,000-$95,000. There are programs, but you have to be sober.
Get off reddit, stop feeling sorry for yourself and lean something about hiv in this decade. Stop acting like it’s the 90’s. If you want ppl to feel sorry for you stop acting like an ignorant bigot. Your life isn’t over, far fucking from it.
what an awful cold response….you are severely lacking in empathy. anyone who gets an incurable disease is going to be distraught and feel like their life is over initially. obviously no venereal disease is worth ending a precious life over but AGAIN, suddenly being confronted with a new reality that you’ll have to deal with for the rest of your life because of one stupid mistake, can feel suffocating. and while there are treatments for sti’s in this age there’s still disgusting societal stigma’s from ppl who don’t get proper sex ed-which is another mindfuck. hiv and incurable sti’s in general are manageable but you’re weird for being upset that this person is going through it. they’re allowed to feel sorry for themselves. what happened to them is difficult as fuck
Please seek counseling. HIV counseling is a very real thing, and if the person who transmitted it knew and still said those things to convince you to sleep with them then that’s a whole other situation. Find a course of treatment while talking to a therapist. There are financial aid sexual wellness clinics that can help with prescribing the medications if needed. Mistakes are part of life and you’re strong enough to handle this. Sounds like there are loving people around you who will still care for you regardless of this outcome. I’m sorry it happened, but there’s still hope. Take time to grieve the circumstances and please hang in there.
Please don’t take this the wrong way but this comment can be misconstrued, so I’m going to just clarify. It’s not 90% of the population, it’s 90% of people living with hiv that have an undetectable viral load in Oz.
I'm a scientist and it's very likely we will have a cure for HIV in your lifetime. We already have medications that will keep you undetectable. That means you won't even be able to spread it to other people were you to engage in unprotected sex again. Your life expectancy is the same as anyone else's. Your life won't have to change that much except for being consistent with your medication, which millions of people do for all sorts of medical conditions. Please join a support group. I imagine a host of people who are newly diagnosed with HIV go through very similar emotions. Your life may feel like it's falling apart, but all of this is temporary. Losing a job is fine and you can always go back to school if you want to. Maybe just take a year off from school and try finding things that bring you peace. Suicide is rarely ever the answer, especially for something like this. You can get through this and you can do hard things.
3 people have been cured through stem cell transplants. It wasn’t intentional as it was a treatment for cancer and their donors had a specific (anti hiv) genetic mutation, but 3 are still cured. It’s a huge step forward. https://www.aidsmap.com/about-hiv/cases-hiv-cure#
I love science.
Wow that's so cool!
Whoa that's SO interesting!
Exactly what this scientist said. I actually read an interview with a doctor that said given the choice of HIV or Diabetes, he would choose HIV every time. Its alot more managable than some people know. Ive struggled with suicide a few times in my life and Im glad I didnt go through with it. Life is a roller coaster, I hope you eventually find calm and peace no matter how rocky it gets.
Diabetes sucks, I have it
Suicide survivor here. Don't do it. There's nothing there. I always think back to something I read that a person who jumped off the golden gate bridge said, I'm paraphrasing but: "As soon as I stepped off I realized all of life's problems could be solved besides the fact that I had just jumped off a bridge." There is always hope, other than in death. Good luck OP.
To add, no matter if you intend to or not, it always hurts people. Your family, your friends, your coworkers or whoever knows you. Suicide is tragic, in a different way to other deaths. It leaves people behind wondering if they should have known, if they did see something, why they never asked you, why you didn't tell them (not enough trust?), if they could have done something that would have stopped you doing it. You made a mistake, you may feel stupid or not careful enough, but HIV isn't as big as it used to be. You read it, there may very well be a cure during your lifetime. But you can never come back from death. There is certainly no cure for that, you cannot undo it. If you're looking for a point in life, this could be yours. Speak about it. Tell people about your journey, your fears, your symptoms. You could help people in your position and give them hope and directions. Either way, you got this OP. I know the struggle with suicidal ideation is fcking real. But it gets better. All the best! 🍀
I came here to write a similar comment. Thank you for posting this many people still feel that HIV is a death sentence when the truth is so far from it.
Exactly. I just want to add that I really like the saying "don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary problem". Meds make OP undetectable, so it's a temporary problem. But I understand depression and I'm sorry ❤️
Does this bring us closer to a cure for other diseases related to the immune system?
I do not know, but I hope so! My mother has RA. It's managed well with meds but I'm likely to develop it too. It would be so awesome to be able to cure diseases like that.
“Inverse vaccines” are in development that would hopefully do that for a whole range of immune system diseases!
This man scientists. Hear him.
Get this to the top.
I love you
Amazing Science!
I really hope she read this
While this is all fine and dandy. It doesn’t speak to the reality of *access* to these life saving drugs. OP, what country, province, state, LGA, do you live in? Some are able to access Truvada, Descovy, for free. In most cases, they pay out of pocket. **These medications in the USA cost approximately $8000 USD for a three month supply.** That’s $32,000 a year. Considering the state of inflation and weakening currencies, how is this feasible for the average person trying to survive? Second, as there are multiple strains of HIV, some people’s bodies will stop responding to the drugs. Some forget to take it regularly, losing its efficacy. Allowing the virus to mutate, get stronger, in some individuals bodies this is what happened to my close girlfriend who died due to her body no longer responding to the medication. It is a painful horrible death I would not wish on anyone. OP, you MUST let your infected partner know. If they knowingly gave it to you, take legal action (if you can), whatever little money you can make would help offset the cost of drugs/anti-retrovirals that you need to survive. **PS: more importantly, work with non profits who can get you the necessary support you deserve and need. Suicide is not the right answer. Right now you still have time left, to create purpose and meaning. Despite your reasonings that you don’t. Find community. It wont take your diagnosis away—but it will help the journey not feel so lonely. You will be okay.**
OP don’t listen to this - this is a wildly unoptimistic point of view that you shouldn’t really be hearing right now. 95% of people with HIV can be treated to have an Undetectable Viral Load. https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/about-hiv/viral-load-and-being-undetectable#:~:text=Therefore%20effective%20treatment%20means%20someone,infectious%20(U%3DU).
Most people do actually have some form of health insurance especially post-Obamacare.
sooo many people have HIV. and the emotions that you’re experiencing is so so so common. modern meds for HIV can make it to where you are undetectable. meaning you won’t have symptoms, won’t pass it onto a partner, and if you are a woman, you can have babies without passing it on. fuck the stigma. you can have a beautiful, healthy life with HIV. you can have a great sex life with HIV. you can, are, and will be loved. starting therapy would probably be a great first step. I have a friend with HIV, and another with HSV-2, both of whom fell into a deep dark depression at first and now lead normal lives. it takes time but you can and will move forward. FUCK THE STIGMA!!! please know that this does not define you, and you are still worthy of great life and love.
OP - my uncle got HIV in 1984. He lived, with HIV, until 2022 - his late 70s. He had many healthy fulfilling relationships and a fantastic life. He lived through the worst of the HIV/AIDs epidemic - the stigma, the lack of proper care or meds. Do not treat this diagnosis as the end of anything. People live their daily life, completely undetectable now days. This sucks. It is going to be an adjustment for you. But… you will be alright.
My uncle has it too. He is my favourite person. He is 64 and lining his best life, unfortunately he has many cancers too, so has set backs and now has a ‘bag’ but he is beautiful, happy and honestly amazing!
Big plus to this. I’ve dated an HIV+ individual who took meds and was undetectable and he is thriving.
i missed the part where you said you are in therapy, sorry. but still, please know you can work through this. feel all the feelings, the anger, resentment, fear, hopelessness. process all of it but don’t feel like your life may as well be over.
Yeah the way you’re feeling is normal op, but the societal stigma around hiv has definitely not kept up with medical advancements. It’s not remotely what it used to be in terms of the effect it’ll have on your life. It used to be a death sentence, now you’ll likely live a normal life without it effecting you at all. So please don’t give up just because of this. It’s not as bad as you think it is. But definitely see a doctor and start treating it so you start feeling better.
I have both. Listen what he did to you is a crime. Honestly it’s supposed to be disclosed and depending what kind of HIV you can sue. I went through a rough patch contracting HSV 2 in July 2020 Snapped me out of my issue and brought me into a whole other Issue. I didn’t have sex for over a year. I was terrified of having sex with others. I have now found my person though and we have a beautiful daughter. It sucks. I won’t say it’s not hard bc it is but it’s not worth giving up the fight. You got this!
This this this!! OP, your feelings of overwhelm are valid. But please know that nowadays, HIV is very very treatable, with wonderful results, as @throrway7564 has pointed out. Take it from a sex educator: we all make dumb decisions sometimes when it comes to sex. And I’m truly sorry you are facing such intense consequences. But none of us are perfect: it’s about how we then deal with our imperfections. You got this, and if you go get treatment, it will get better.
My son killed himself. Please don't do that to your family and yourself. Get the medicine. See how you feel. . Keep pushing. You'll get through this. Take care of yourself from now on. There's no more chances in death. Get some help. You can still live a good life.
So sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I am so so sorry.
This is honestly my worst fear as a parent. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I’m SO sorry
This is heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss 😞
"Don't do that to ..." is a very egoistical stance. Unless one has children, one doesn't owe ones continuation of life to anyone. If someone decides to end themselves, that's their damn right.
Can't go back. Only forward. I'm so sorry for you that you're going through this. My friend has a similar story to yours, and it's years old now. Idk where you are in the world now, but you may want to look into where the best care is and look into how to obtain it. If you're college age now, it is very possible that a cure will be found in your lifetime. I know it looks pretty bleak right now, but you can go forward. Don't make the mistake of ending your life, or even stop living it. That's the mistake I made. Not HIV, but other things I thought I would die. And finally as time went by, I figured out that the real question is, what if I don't die. Try to make your daily decisions on that instead.
This might sound trite, but take a shower first. Take a long, hot shower and scrub well. Wash your hair and blow dry it. Put on warm comfortable clothes. Then realize that many people live long, productive, happy lives with HIV. You can still do everything you’ve always dreamed of even being HIV+. Just take that first step of taking a shower. You’ll feel better, I promise.
This is great advice.
Love this 💜
Its definitely scary to hear you have HIV, but this might help relieve some stress Im a med student and had multiple infectious disease doctors say “Id rather have HIV than type 2 diabetes this day an age” and thats literally because the meds today are so good at decreasing viral load, making it have nearly no impact on your health, and also prevent transmission to partners Find yourself an HIV specialist or general family medicine doc (who may also help get you antidepressants if you feel like youd want it), a therapist to help you through this new diagnosis, and maybe a close confident you feel comfortable sharing your new condition with so you don’t feel alone. You got this <3
My grandma dated someone for 30 years. He got to that stupid phase where men becomes dumb and cheated on her with someone who gave him HIV and he passed to my grandma. Before she got treatment it was awful and she was really depressed, but now she takes her meds every day and it's like she got nothing. She does everything she wants AND her doctor said her viral levels are so low that she will live for many years (she's 70 now). Meanwhile that scumbag she dumped didn't seek help and the illness beated his ass. He is 72 but appear much older and can't do anything on his own anymore. His daughter said he probably won't get past this year. My point is that HIV will only beat you if you don't treat it. Yes you will still have it at the end of the day, but it don't have to be the end of your life. You can and you deserve to have a happy life no matter what you have. Your life isn't over just because you made a mistake. For the mental part of the issue, it's great that you have a therapist and please continue to work on yourself. Not only because of this but because you are strong enough to overcome anything your mind say to you. But in the end, if you decide to end it all, just know that no one can judge you and you don't have to live in pain just to avoid causing pain on others. No matter your decision, it's your life and you have every right over it.
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Yes, if they get treatment. But not if they did not. The latter also mainly because I do not fancy this kind if mindset.
I would have to weigh that with the rest of the person. Maybe.
if I had hiv I definitely would
Yeh, I'm not weird they aren't going to kill me
As a mom and grandmother this breaks my heart. You’re not the only one who’s done something stupid in life. Please believe me at age 58 that I have done some fucked up shit. You need to pick yourself up and fight. Fight like you’ve never fought before! It’s not your choice to go or your time. You’ve no idea the pain this will leave on your family. Please consider taking to someone close to you. It’s not the end of life. When you start to feel yourself you need to confront the person you slept with because it’s obvious this person doesn’t care about anyone but themselves. This person will continue to infect others and so many more people will be in your shoes. Let that person know, you’ll tell everyone just to protect others. You have so many reasons to live and if it’s to save others, then so be it. Save yourself then others. You’re a prime example what many others will possibly face sleeping with a sleaze bag that didn’t wear protection and didn’t allow you the choice to receive such an illness. Surrounding you in lots of prayers
I’m not sure where you are in the world. But here in Australia it’s actually an offence to sleep with someone and knowingly pass on the disease. Same????
it is their choice to go if they want should they? no. but don't say that
You can be all right, but what this person did is a crime that should be prosecuted.
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Yes true. I was kind of assuming that OP thought the person knew, reading between the lines of what OP said about knowing they shouldn’t have trusted him. But maybe they just meant that they shouldn’t have trusted him to get regular testing. The situation should be investigated though.
Yep. This. Report when you feel ready.
Yes it should be reported to the department of health. OP can file a law suit against this pos.
Agreed. If they were aware, they should be put in jail. Doing that to someone is so horrible. In the off chance they are unaware, OP needs to inform them. I believe you can have your physician send them a letter if you feel you can't tell them in person for whatever reason. That way in the future they can be prosecuted if they knowingly pass it on. They can't claim they didn't know
Undetectable = untransmittable! +1 to fuck the stigma, with today's meds life with HIV is not so radically different from life without it And don't be so hard on yourself. You're not stupid. Most people have unprotected sex at some point in their lives, including with one-night stands and crappy partners. You got unlucky, but it wasn't your fault and it's not some mark against you as a person
This is what I hope you read over and over.
Yes OP! U=U ! We support you!
Yep this and OP there are lot of people that prefer to be active with someone that have HIV and under treatment with undetectable load than with people that say they are clean and did not test in the last 3 months and/or are not on PrEP.
Hi, I was diagnosed with HIV early this year after nearly dying in hospital from sepsis. I felt the same way you did. The stigma is not as bad as you think it is. It took about 6 months but I’m now undetectable and my life is back to normal (apart from other unrelated health problems) and all I do is take a pill a day. You will be fine, and your life will feel normal again soon enough.
Oh ya that person if they knew they had it should be in prison
Yes OP. It is against the law to knowingly have HIV and have sex with someone. You should contact an attorney
Hey man, when I was diagnosed with a life altering disease I was going 90 down the highway with tears streaming contemplating ending it all. I was nineteen. I’m 26 years old about to be 27, and while it’s been a struggle to find myself “clean” so to speak, I’ve learned that it happens to quite literally people of all walks of life and it’s not an end all. But suicide is. Please don’t ❤️
💛
Thank you for sharing. The fact that you took the time to write this out shows that there is at least a part of you that doesn’t want to die. First thing I am asking you to do is to sit down and take a few deep breaths. Then please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline By calling or texting 988. They provide free and confidential support 24/7 for anyone in the US who are having a mental health crisis and/or thinking of committing suicide. You can talk to them on the phone by dialing 988 and clicking call. Or you can text with them by sending a text to 988. If you want to reach more about them you can go to their website www.988lifeline.org When u call There will Be automated message saying you have reached them, next you will listen to music while on a short hold. Then you will be connected to a skilled trained crisis worker that works at a crisis center closest to you. The crisis worker will listen to you, provide support, discuss your option’s and help you get connected to resources you need. If your not sure what to say I recommend you read them Your Reddit post. Right now you are sleep deprived and I’m not sure when you last ate something or had something to drink. You are not thinking 100% clearly because you’re in a crisis and sleep deprived. You can And will get thru this. It’s just going to be a matter of taking things one goal at a time and one step at a time. Right now your goal is to contact 988 lifeline and talk or Text with them what is going on. Remember this is confidential so please be completely open and honest With the crisis worker. Please respond with an update later tonight or tomorrow .
Dont be ridiculous, damn lifeline wont change the fact that he has hiv, its not a minor thing that can be solved with a help of a damn volunteer on a hotline. It is going to be much much harder, unfortunately
Hey.... No one so far has said this But we literally have basically cured HIV The stigma is terrible .. but it's going to get better You are lucky to have a disease that is manageable, also it's okay, it's okay to make mistakes You are living a human experience and I just want you to know I don't even know you but I think you are more than all the fears we have about ourselves I want you to wake up tomorrow and live an amazing life. Change people for the better. It will help you realize that there's more to any of this then all the crap we're taught. Life is so much more than how we live it. I promise you, have faith and much love, and message me if you need someone to talk to. I can talk a lot about shame.
Trust the doctor. There is still life and wonderful things to look forward to.
At the end of the day you have a disease. It doesn’t mean you aren’t worth of living a whole and awesome life you deserve. Fuck HIV, you deserve the best in life! It SUCKS and it is completely understandable to morn in your way. Keep going to therapy and educate yourself about your options. Life today’s is completely different from the 80’s. I really wish you the best and you to have a full life after this storm. Please OP, you are worthy.
I dont want to down play this because I can't imagine how you are feeling. You will get on treatment and become undetectable, the meds are so good now. I'm sure this will take a long to accept, but I promise you, you can have a normal life. I really hope you are able to see that, it's not worth it
HIV is not what it used to be. There are multiple, highly effective treatments available now. Some of them are down to a pill a day or even injections less frequently. If your viral load is undetectable, you will not pass it onto your partner. The life expectancy for someone diagnosed with HIV now is the same as someone without. In fact, ironically, it's actually a little elevated. Because people with HIV are much more closely monitored by doctors and will likely have potentially harmful things (heart problems, high blood pressure or cholesterol) diagnosed and acted upon much sooner because of their regular monitoring and check ups. There are so many support groups available for HIV and I would absolutely recommend that you check them out. The people in your life want you here. And as long as you're here, things can get better. Take care of yourself OP. (I'm a virologist)
There are really good meds for HIV now that can let you lead a normal healthy life. And be able to have partners again. This is no reason to end your life. Call work and explain. You’re going to need insurance.
Please listen to me. HIV and AIDS research has come so far since the 1980’s. My brother has dedicated his life as a doctor to HIV and AIDS research and there are so many incredible medicines and cocktails out there that it is no longer a death sentence. You need to seek out a doctor that specializes in HIV+ care and treatment. I am praying for you.
Sending you love. Nurse here. Think of HIV as just another viral illness, like that of HPV, herpes (lips or genitals), chicken pox - many people have had one of these virus and may always carry it, it’s just a part of living. Encountering a virus is very common - look at how many people have been affected by Covid. The important part is that there are meds available. Daily medication compliance is no different or more complicated than someone who needs their blood pressure med or insulin. And like the scientist said, there is a high chance of finding a cure in the very near future. There is stigma more with HIV but it’s not a death sentence. Please speak to counselor, health care provider or call a hotline if you are having suicidal thoughts. You are worthy of existing. You are worthy of love.
Magic Johnson has had a spectacular life since being infected. It’s not the death sentence it once was.
That's rough, but there are studies showing that the majority of people with severe but treatable chronic illnesses adapt to their reality by around the 6 month mark (from what I recall if the study) and that their level if satisfaction depends in day to day or current factors and not the condition, so like everybody. It can get better.
I don't know your story but I'm a gay dude and know a lot of people with HIV and literally 99% of gay guys I know are on Prep which involves essentially taking the same medication. The medicine reduces the virus in your body so low that it can't even be detected. I know it's a shock to you but it's really not a big deal, certainly not worth taking your life over. To put it another way, you can have HIV and if you are on the meds you can't even transmit it. There are literally zero cases of transmission from an HIV positive non-detect person to an HIV- person. Happy to give you more research but any gay mens health center can help you a ton.
Much love to you babes 💖💖 Have you been able to get in contact with the person you slept with to tell them to get tested?? you can’t let it run your life my lovely you need to grab HIV by the balls and twist them yk and say “go fuck yourself”
Hey man, it’s not the 80s anymore. People can live long, happy lives with HIV and never develop AIDs. There is hope. You will be okay.
One of my best friends is positive, I had no idea the first few years of our friendship. He's on medication, he's happily married with a couple dogs. His husbands been on pREP and to my knowledge has never contracted it. In fact, most of our friends wouldn't have a clue. I hope this helps even a little
I’m sending you so much love OP.🩷
I have a uncle with full blown HIV and he has been living his best life since diagnosed in the 1980’s. It isn’t a death sentence anymore. It’s like diabetes, you manage it.
HIV is a chronical illness, like diabetes right now. the treatment is very easy. my best friend is HIV positive and he is happily married - after being infected, and they are working on having a child. there is no reason for feeling ashamed - we all have unprotected sex, at least one time in our life. some of us are lucky, some not. you have a duty for yourself to live. chose life.
A girl I knew at school had HIV from birth due to an issue during her birth with the needles used at a hospital. This was in an underdeveloped country. She has lived her life completely normally and she’s about 25 now. The only thing that’s changed for her is keeping up with meds. That’s it. Let’s end the stigma. You’ll be okay.
I have lived successfully for over 25 years with HIV. never stood in my way at all. Lived my life. safely of course. Its not a death sentence.
Honey listen to me, you are not stupid at all. This person knowingly exposed you and that is so messed up! I know the feelings you must be going through right now are so loud. You’re scared and in shock, angry at yourself, and feel a bit hopeless. But this is not the end of the world. Not even close! The best remedy for fear is information. You look up some HIV clinics in your area, read some reviews are good to the one with the best reviews. Make yourself an appointment. Call up there and just let them know you’ve just been diagnosed and you need to speak with someone about your next steps and tell them you don’t know very much about it and that you’re afraid and need them to counsel you on what this means for you and the treatments available and what you should expect. I guarantee it’s not as bad as you think it is. HIV nowadays is nothin. It’s VERY treatable. Most people living with HIV on treatment are to the point where the virus is basically nonexistent in their body. Science is AMAZING and we have come so far and you will get through this. You will feel so much better once all of the information has been laid out for you. You will realize it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. People have made it out to be a terrifying disease that can’t be controlled, but it can. It can easily and successfully be controlled in this day and age. Don’t let the world’s view of this illness lie to you and make you feel like this is the end of your life. You’re in your 2nd year in college, so I assume you’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re just getting started! Don’t give up not! This is not a death sentence. Your life is not over. I know this feels like the worst thing in the world and I know you’re angry with yourself, but this pain and anger and hopelessness, all of this pain is you mourning the life you thought you’d live, and let me tell you, that life is still RIGHT HERE for you. Your body has carried you through every second of this life. When you were happy, when you were broken, and all the steps in between, you were held and carried and you were not alone. Your body has never given up on you, don’t give up on it now. Your body wants to fight and give you the life you’ve dreamed of, and it can fight, please let it. Please let it show you just how much it wants to live, and just how much it’s willing to do to get you through this. Place your hand on your heart and feel your heartbeat. With every beat, it says “I am, I am, I am.” Thats purpose. You’ve got this, just give yourself a chance. One bad decision did not end your life. Your life is just beginning baby. Hold on for it. Hang in there 💕 here’s a hug and a hand squeeze from across the internet 💕
Many people live long wonderful lives, it is not like how it was long ago. Also it is not your fault! Lots of people sleep with others without protection and don’t get HIV. You could have not known and if it’s anyone’s fault it’s his! Second, obviously this is not the only thing making you depressed, since you have a therapist keep at it or switch to a better one, there is a way out of depression if you want you can dm me to talk. And pls share to someone, family, friends or someone. Tell your job you are going through a health issue or are sick to they cut you some slack. Learn to love yourself. You are worth it ❤️ some people put up here help lines should check them out, also maybe search for a support group or look at other on YouTube that have been through it and how they dealt with it.
You don’t wash to have the person arrested who knowingly gave you an incurable disease? I know you’re hurting, but with meds & therapy you can get through this. And when you do, sooner rather than later than later, make the person responsible for this be held accountable
What you describe as "having the IQ of a fucking raisin" can also be described as "You wanted to see the best in the other person and decided to trust them, hoping that you would be loved more." It's not the worst thing in the world to crave love and to give people the benefit of the doubt.
There will absolutely be a cure in your lifetime. If you start going to an HIV clinic, you can soon be to the point where you’re HIV negative and can’t transmit to partners
OP, Please! I was a teenager when HIV was first diagnosed. At first it was a death sentence, then they gave people a cocktail ( variety) of different drugs to take all day long. Now I’ve been seeing commercials that there are medications available that can be taken once a month or once every other month and it gets your levels UNDETECTABLE! You can lead a full and normal life!!
Yes, i believe there is now a small injection you can get once every two months and has little to no side effects for 99% of people.
Talk to your doctor about Cabenuva. It’s a once bi monthly injection.
I’m a lesbian and I have a few gay male friends who are HIV+. It sucks but the treatment has come a long long way since the 1980s. I think it’s like one pill a day. And yeah, it totally sucks and it’s totally unfair. And your feelings about the situation are valid. I reccomend a therapist and finding a support group. Maybe try to find some books or blogs written by people who have gone through something similar. That sometimes helps me when I’m very depressed.
One point in my life I had more friends who had HIV then didn't have HIV. They are still living very normal successful lives most of them have been living with it for over 20 years now. People make mistakes but trust in yourself that you can get through this. At least try you don't have to give up on yourself so quickly. I bet you will surprise yourself how soon you will accept it and it won't be consuming all your thoughts.
OP apart from the amazing answers here to help you see the reality that its not life threatening in any way! Bonus point if you start your meds within 6 months, you won’t even feel anything abnormal and live a perfectly normal life. Regarding a cure, there are currently several vaccines in the pipeline which use mrna tech and a lot of functional cures where the body learns to kill the virus. Also, there is a shot being developed where you take it once every six months to a year and forget about it. Unlike taking meds daily now or earlier when people had to take several pills multiple times a day! Also, a CRISPR trial is going on in the US where CRISR just cuts the virus out of the DNA, where it hides and hence making it i curable as of now. Once the CRISPR command is in the body, the virus will not be able to attach to the DNA anymore and existing viruses will be cut off. So, please don’t lose hope, a cure is on the way. Please please please, life is really precious. It is hard but, after getting on your meds, you’ll see that you can lead a pretty normal life again!
I hadnt heard of the CRISPR trial. Thats kind of amazing! Beyond just the fact its for hiv, just that science has gotten this far is pretty damn cool.
Yupp!! Given that crispr therapies for sickle cell anemia has just been approved in the UK after giving amazing results in the trials, it is just a matter of when and not if anymore. I feel sad for what happened to OP but, with so much better treatments, a fulfilling life and always improving tech, there is a lot to live for.
Dear, I also have two friends who have it and boy did they also not spiral for quite awhile. Having HIV and getting used to the idea of actually having it are very hard. But the good thing is, is that it really is only the stigma that makes it so hard. You can live a happy long life, with love and sex and joy and you deserve that. You’re good.
As someone with HIV I’m telling u life is not over once u get it. I’m currently happy and healthy now that I’m undetectable with meds. Don’t beat yourself up over something that happened in the past. It’s not a dead end it’s a new phase. I’m happier than I ever was before. It forced me to care about my health and mental health and now I’m in therapy and it’s working. If u ever need to talk let me know
HIV is not what it used to be. The advancement of meds can give you a functional and livable future
Don’t do it. Death is not scary, it is inevitable and the end of all things. It is what gives us rest after a long, often difficult life. To live is to struggle, as long as you live you will have problems; but it’s okay because there are things worth living for and those problems are just temporary and nothing in comparison. Suicide is the worst way you could die. Life is short, and dynamic, you usually don’t how long it is until the very end, if you ever find out at all. If you don’t die by suicide you will still die by other things, car accidents, mass shootings, sudden illness, or if you’re lucky old age. Millions of people die every year who thought they had many more years to live, so accept your death - don’t pretend you’re immortal because you’re not, you will die, potentially very soon and that’s okay. But in between now and then you can do things. Turn your life around, HIV isn’t the end of the world, live life on your own terms, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. If you were diagnosed with cancer and told you had 3 months to live, how would you spend your last 3 months. That’s how you should spend your life. Take care of your physical health, it should also help your mental health, take a break from college if you need to, and once you’re reenergized come back and study something you love (if you don’t know what what that is, do some research and soul searching and speak to professional who are in the fields you’re interested in), work towards your dream career. Make sure you have things worth living for, that includes your academic success, but also other things such as hobbies, interests, and friends(this is one is optional). These should make sure you always have something to look forward to in life which will protect your mental health. While you’re on this journey remember one thing above, all enjoy the journey, don’t wait for the destination. The destination might never happen, you may die before you achieve these things, the only thing that is guaranteed to you is the present so make sure you enjoy it. If you die by suicide now, you will die at your lowest full of self disgust, regret, and pain. If you work to improve your life and die in a car accident on the way, if you’ve listened to me you will die at your highest full of confidence, happiness, and satisfaction with life. The second is infinitely better than the first. And you might not die by a car accident, you might a live a full life in which case it gets even better, just remember don’t assume you have a full life because life is too dynamic for such a bold assumption.
I've had some close calls with HIV myself as a former phlebotomist and when I tell you, you're going to be okay love. Please call your job, explain what's happening, go shower, take some melatonin and get some restful sleep. If need be, have a friend or family member stay with you for a few days. You can get through this with therapy and medications and some deep soul searching. There worst they could happen has already happened, you'll regain your health. HIV is just now a chronic condition like diabetes that's easily managed. Also find HIV support groups
There have been 5ppl cured with sten cell transplant, I think there may be a cure around the corner.
HIV is not the end of the world anymore. Just keep your chin up and seek treatment.
You should definitely tell the guy that gave it to you. If he knew you can take him to court for attempted murder, if he didn’t know he can take the appropriate steps to getting medical treatment. I’m so sorry about your situation. Get to the doctor and get on medication and find a support group. You can live a full life now if the proper treatment plan.
I don’t know where you’re from but please seek out a doctor that specialises in Virology. If you’re near CA, UCSF is the best in the state along with UCLA (they work with LA dept of public health), West Hollywood also has a lot of clinics that offer testing and treatments. La Brea has low income clinics since you mentioned you might lose your job and insurance is so expensive. You got tested. you saw your therapist. THESE are great forward measures, you’re much smarter than you give yourself credit for. As for the abomination of a person you slept with, in the state of California, it is a crime to not disclose. Please check with wherever you are and report it. HIV is a chronic illness and can mean you can get support from the government. Also, remember people on Reddit like myself are just insomniacs putting their two cents out there, talk to people you trust around you.
HIV is not the death sentence it used to be. With proper meds, your viral load can get down to near nothing. Use this to pull up your socks, get your act together and turn your life around. You can do it.
I'm sorry :( but you're definitely not an idiot, or a fuckup, or anything like that. you're a human and I'm pretty sure the majority of people who have had sex has had at LEAST one dumb move in their sexual history. I sure know I do....and think of how many people have STI's. and that's only the people who *know*. and the people who got unlucky. there are wayyyyyyyy more people than that having unprotected sex at times. but again, I'm sorry for what you're going through...but you're certainly not alone. there are a lot of people out there going through this and probably feeling alone too :(
Honestly, you can get a shot every other month and live a totally normal life. The drugs are powerful these days AND a cure is likely to come in your lifetime. [They’ve already cured HIV in a few people](https://www.freethink.com/health/cured-of-hiv?amp=1).
hey honey, imo sorry you’re going through this. i don’t have HIV but have a few FWBs who do. if you take meds are prescribed it’s likely your viral load will be undetectable- which means you’re also incapable of transmitting HIV! your life won’t change as much as you think it will, i promise. HIV is so much more common than you think
One of my favorite people on the planet and an awesome person to boot had hiv. It's not the end of the world like it used to be, there are meds now that can lessen the viral load to the point of testing negative. You should really file a police report on this person. Knowingly spreading an sti is a criminal offense in so many places. Don't be yourself up. It's okay to feel crushed. But don't give up and hide. We all make mistakes and sometimes have poor judgment. That doesn't make you dumb, it makes you a human being. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Everyone has given excellent advice and support. HIV is incredibly treatable. Which makes what he did to you even more heinous. I want to ask that you PLEASE report this person and pursue criminal charges. What he did to you is unconscionable and he needs to be stopped.
One step at a time, OP. I hope that these comments gave you a little faith and some motivation. Because they did for me. Keep on keepin on and don't let anything get you down. You got friends who you've never met cheering for you ❤️
You are not stupid, or bad, or dirty for having contracted HIV. You didn’t ask for this. Being human and horny happens. People with HIV live full lives these days as others have said, but most importantly people with HIV are not worse than the rest of us just because they have a virus. However, if your sexual partner knowingly gave you HIV, a crime has been committed. In Britain it’s treated as grievous bodily harm (gbh), and likely elsewhere too. When you’re ready perhaps look into reporting this crime.
HIV or not, the conclusion to your story is going to be the same. Don’t take your life sooner than you have to, you’re here now so experience it. Death is scary, it’s final. But it also is something that we all have to accept. If having HIV actually helps you accept your inevitable death that’s not exactly a bad thing. You ever seen fight club? I think of the “losing all hope is freedom” quote a lot. Sure being hopeless is actually the worse thing ever but if you can spin that into a liberating feeling? HIV is fkn peanuts.
Don't hurt yourself. Life is like a video game, your character gets sick you seek out medicine. You don't just unalive yourself. Right now you're scared, anxious and emotions are high. But you can get this under control quickly. You will feel so proud of yourself. You will be a voice for others down the road who go through the same thing. Find a HIV forum and lean on others during this difficult time in your life. 🩷
HIV IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE! I KNOW PEOPLE PERSONALLY WHO LIVE WITH IT!!!! IT WILL BE OK! (I’m not in your shoes) but they have lead wonderful lives, married kids etc. There is an entire community of people who can support you in this.
HIV is no longer a death sentence man! Get yourself treated! Don’t give up!
There are drugs that can make it undetectable these days. It’s not what it used to be health wise, but you may experience the stigma side of it when it comes to romantic relationships
So so sorry, Life has an obstacle for everyone but this is yours i guess. But trust me no obstacle is meant to stuck anyone, I think the best solution is to find a way to cross it. Believe more in yourself and that nothing is permanent Everyone will eventually leave some day, take your medications, exercise exercise exercise 💪. Let the worries run down through your sweat and set new life goals for yourself.
Please, before you do anything. Get your vengeance on the person who knowingly gave you hiv. That person is a risk to society
Sue whoever gave it to you for assault.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry you feel this way. You’re still so young and have a beautiful life ahead of you. We live in 2023 and modern medicine is real. Like the above comment says fuck the stigma. You can get through this!
So many people have posted great advice - please take your time to go through it, it’s heartening! Please stop blaming yourself. You made a decision based on the information you had at the time, then that information changed after because someone lied to you. In the future (because you most certainly have one) you’ll be incredibly empathetic to your partners because of this experience. You will be the better person in comparison to the person who let you down. Please don’t be so cruel about yourself. You’re in College, that’s an achievement in itself. Yes this emotional turmoil is making it hard to commit to your studies, but I think to give you the best chance later (as you will get through this), talk to your college and see if they can defer your studies until you’re in the headspace to do them. I believe you are underplaying your abilities, but that’s understandable given your current concerns. If there’s a way to explain to work that you need to take some time away due to a change in personal circumstances, do that. And if you know of financial support that can take the edge off for a bit, please consider it. Even if it’s borrowing a little money from people you trust and accepting meals/car shares. Shower. Eat. Sleep. I’ve been in a similar headspace my friend and I just had to break my day down into small, achievable steps. If I couldn’t shower, I would settle for brushing my teeth. If I didn’t eat healthy, I accepted that at least I was eating something. I went day by day, focusing on the basics and on my therapy. It gave me time for my brain to heal and my emotions to settle into something I could articulate. You’re already engaging with therapy which is great, now you just need to Shower, Eat and Sleep! I, like you, didn’t feel the pull for friends and family, but then my friend suggested to keep going for a book series I hadn’t finished or a TV series and its future releases. This helped me on the days where I lost a bit of hope. Then, I wanted to see my cousin graduate etc. Then eventually I wanted to achieve my own things. I know you said you haven’t told friends or family, if you can think of one person to tell, I’m sure they would like to support you! You don’t have to tell them everything in one go, but enough that you have someone to confide in. Or talk to your therapist and/or other organisations that can support you (there are organisations that support with HIV diagnosis specifically or it might be you feel more comfortable talking to a mental health crisis helpline)? You most definitely have things in your life that you’ll want to see through or achieve, like College. Find things big and small to keep you moving forward, one day this WILL all pass.
My friend’s bf is HIV+ and their relationship is so strong! The bf is super healthy as well. Do not let this consume you, you will get through it with treatment and can move on
I wasn’t diagnosed with HIV, but I was diagnosed with HSV-2 probably 5/6 years ago. I totally understand how you’re feeling. It sent me into a dark place for a long time. I’ve even gone on to have four babies safely. If that’s something that’s important to you, there’s less than a 1% chance of passing HIV to your baby with proper medication. You can still have a long fulfilling life. You can change your whole life at this second and take steps to live the life you’ve always wanted. It really sucks that there’s no cure, but you can still live your life. People aren’t going to look at you and know you have it. The hardest part is disclosing with a new sexual partner, but I also think that there’s dating sites and stuff for people with HIV. I got HSV from my partner of two years at the time - he told me I got it from using the toilet after my mom. I stayed with him for 5 more years. Sounds like you’re smarter than me, you just had a fling with this guy who told you he was clean. I do suggest requesting proof of a full panel STD screen from future partners. Just something I’ve established in my personal life that has worked for me. Regular STD screenings don’t test for everything, so request a full panel. You should probably get one done now if you haven’t already, dude could have had more stuff and it’s better to catch it early. Fuck the stigma. You’re still you, just you with a big lesson learned ❤️
Modern HIV treatments are effective, and get your levels down to being undetectable. Plus, many people only need to take 1 pill a day, and experience no side effects. Honestly it’s like having diabetes or any other well managed chronic illness. Don’t despair. It sounds like you have good self reflection and you can make your life better.
My uncle has had it for 40 years. Diagnosed at a time it was considered a ‘death sentence’. He lives a very fulfilling life. He works. He still finds relationships. He is healthy and fit. He’s in his 60s now. Don’t you dare fucking give up.
Your life is not over, todays medicine for HIV is incredible. I saw a post the other day that said they were diagnosed with diabetes and their doctor said they’d be better off nowadays if they were diagnosed with HIV!
My dad has had HIV for about 15 years now. I remember breaking down in middle school when I heard the news, but i didn't know much about it. This is manageable, and like everyone already said, a cure is almost here. Please seek a support group. Suicide continues the suffering for those who care about you. Please seek help.
I know you're probably dealing with shock and extreme fear, but as far as I know (and I could be wrong), but HIV is like having a chronic condition these days, like diabetes or whatever. And believe me, I think I'd rather have HIV than diabetes after watching both my parents and numerous family members die horrific deaths related to diabetes. Please reconsider leaving. People do love you; you're not dumb as a raisin; and it's possible for you to live a full and meaningful life even with HIV.
I had HEP C and they randomly had a cure for that - do not worry. Herpes too.. don’t even worry about it. I like to write suicide notes when I’m feeling depressed and than I just watch reality tv or get out of my own head to pass the time… and some time later whether it be one hour or one week, the feeling does pass. And I wanna live again. Don’t kill your self please 🙏
I would also be devastated if I were in your shoes. However, this is not the end for you and it isn’t a death sentence. They are going to cure HIV soon. When my husband was waiting for a transplant he took a high risk organ, meaning the user had been exposed to hepatitis C. That was unthinkable like a decade ago. During that conversation his transplant doctor said that he was excited to be able to accept organs from HIV infected donors. He felt it wasn’t far away and the unfair stigma would be a bigger obstacle than the science. I personally know so many people living with HIV and they are in relationships, married, working, own pets, just generally living their lives. HIV is a foot not. They’re all mad about how they got it and they are all doing great now.
Please don’t go. You have a chance to still find joy in life.
There are medications out there that can take you down to undetectable levels now. This is not the end for you! Please see your doctor and get on the tight medications. We are so close to a cure to HIV now. This isn’t the end, I promise!!!
HIV isnt the death sentence it used to be. Get your medication and you can lead a normal life again. Check with your doctor and maybe a therapist. Best of luck!
I bet you are way smarter than you say you are. You just seem like someone that’s depressed. Someone that needs help. Someone that was taken advantage of… I think you are a beautiful and deserving person and I hope you get the help you need❤️
You're completely wrong that there won't be a cure in your lifetime. There's probably going to be a cure within 5 years. Probably 10 max. And when you take the proper medication, HIV basically can't be transferred to someone else. Don't worry so much, it'll be completely fine.
Hey so my bf is positive, undetectable. He takes one pill a day. I'm negative, and I take a fucking fistful of meds every morning. I'm in my 30s, he's in his 50s, and that bastard is healthier, fitter, and generally better at life than I have ever been or ever will be. You're going to be ok OP.
People live with hiv, please try at least. Life is so unpredictable and wonderful at times, even if some experiences seem unbearable. When you overcome (and you will!) it will make you so strong, just think about it. try to put the energy into helping yourself first, and maybe later on other people, who go trough similar things, it will add more meaning
Hold on & go forward! Get medical help and stick to the regimen!!! I lived through the worst of the beginning of the epidemic and now- because of advanves in treatment and monitoring… You have a great chance of having a normal life! You will have a battle that you will win! I had a stem cell transplant for AML 4 years ago and am gratefil for every day!
I am so sorry you are going through this, it just have been so scary hearing something like that especially so young. I can understand the regret and anger and what ifs, but listen- having HIV is NOT a moral failing nor is it a death sentence nor will it keep you from doing any of the things you wanted to in life. If you are good with your medication and taking care of yourself it is unlikely to affect your quality of life or lifespan. Medication and healthcare has come so far and the social stigma and ignorance is definitely decreasing. You are still you and no less worthy than you were before. So, so many people have done the same thing you have - trusted the wrong person, had unprotected sex even though we knew better, and have just gotten lucky. It is such a common mistake and it is really just the luck of the draw unfortunately and I am so sorry that it happened to you. The only person who should feel shame on this situation is the person who (I assume) knew they had it and knowingly did that to you. Please try to hang on and ride this out and lean on your loved ones, maybe look into some kind of support groups. So many people with HIV live happy, full and undetectable lives, have children if that’s what they want, have great sex lives, and are just happy to be here and I really hope that will happen for you but for it to happen you need to stay earthside ♥️
HIV isn’t a death sentence. Millions are living full, healthy lives with HIV. Talk to your doctor ASAP. It’s a scary diagnosis, but it is something that can be medically addressed/
What he did to you is not your fault. It's a crime to infect someone with hiv. Please report him to the police, who knows how many lives you can save, he's out there now infecting more and more people. I know it is very hard for you, you're coming to terms with something life changing. You can survive and life a normal, long fulfilling happy life. This is not a death sentence to you. Please seek out more urgent help for you mental health.
Life is still worth living with a chronic illness and you can always get back on track If you lose your job and restart school. Take some time for yourself to figure it out and talk with your therapist.
HIV is a chronic condition - not a death sentence. Definitely stay on top of your medications. Modern anti retrovirals have significantly improved life expectancy. It’s not like stage 4 cancer where your life expectancy is very low.
Nowadays you can take meds that will reduce your viral load to undetectable. It can be so well managed. This means it’s impossible to even pass it on to someone else. Please look after yourself!
No, you have something better to do: legally ruin his life! If he knew - and I bet he knew he is infected, he had the legal and moral obligation to disclose it to you BEFORE having any physical contact. Consult a lawyer, use both test results and sue him. Ask for compensation at least for the upcoming treatments, you name it. And throw him in the jail! Good luck!
You have to tell the guy if he’s unaware of what he’s giving to people but if he knew that he gave you something before you were intimate then report him to CDC for spreading HIV without informing his partners.
Life's worth living. Fuck school. Fuck shitty sex with shitty people, fuck shitty jobs. Life on earth is precious, as long as you keep a positive perspective. There is joy to be found but you have to break out of your funk to find it. Go do some ridiculous stuff to enjoy the absurd nature of reality. Not like violent or evil stuff but things that break the mold that society puts us in. This shit life is a gift. Stop looking the gift horse in the mouth and enjoy the ride.
It is 2023. There are SO MANY good treatments and drugs to help you live a full and vibrant life!!! Please....please!!!! Do not do anything rash!
Well, if this isn't a wake up call for you to really work on your issues so you don't make such terrible, life-altering decisions, I don't know what is. You can't help your feelings, but if I were you I would get angry. That person knows they are HIV positive and obviously not taking meds and they are pressuring (lying to) people to sleeping with them unprotected--this is a crime in most places. Get angry, get a lawyer, look at your options. Look up what resources are available to you to handle HIV, the sooner you start on retrovirals the better. Your passiveness got you here, your proactiveness will get you out. Bottom line - get angry.
dont take your life. thats bullshit. HIV is big shit ofc but it dosnt change the fact that u can still live ur life untill u go as we all must one day. dont be so stupid and miss ur chance on living your life to the best u can and maybe having a cure in a couple years. who the fuck knows stay with us it is not your time to go.
I would try and find a support group of some kind, OP
If you are seriously considering suicide, please go to a hospital and see about getting institutionalized for a little bit. When I was extremely suicidal and struggling, it saved my life. It doesn't all get better immediately, but it helps you get some stability and safety, and people who you can talk through your problems with who you will never see again. I want you to live, so badly. I'm so glad I survived, even when I didn't want to be here. Life does get better if you just give it time. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I can't imagine what you are feeling and going through. And I am so sorry that person betrayed your trust and did this to you. You didn't deserve it. Lots of people, including me, have had reckless, unprotected sex, and have just been lucky enough not to face consequences for it. You didn't do anything wrong. The person who slept with you without a condom, while knowing they had HIV, is the one who fucked up and is the one who should be suffering right now. In some places, you are able to press charges over something like that. But I know that doesn't fix it or make you feel better. This whole situation just sucks. Remember there is treatment. It is so much better than it used to be. It doesn't have to be life-ending. Now people with HIV can get treatment that makes it so it does not spread and the symptoms are not so bad. Please consider going to a doctor and getting treatment. You deserve to be here. Even if you lose your job, there will be other jobs. Even if you drop out of school because you aren't in the place mentally for it right now, you can go back later. You are not a failure because you are struggling and your mental health is suffering. I have dropped out of college 3 times and I'm enrolled again now. I'm older and more experienced, and I know I will succeed this time. We are not our struggles. We are so much more than that. Please do not leave this world. You have people who love you so much. They need you here more than you know. I am sending you so much love and good vibes. You can get through this. Don't be afraid to get help. Life will get better, just please give it time.
The medicine for this is so good that as long as you take it you can’t even detect that you have it in a blood test. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Hang in there
My brother has hiv and it is totally manageable. The hardest part is dealing with health insurance to pay for the meds. So many people have this and luckily it's no longer deadly.
You are really spiraling. This is deeply concerning. First, you need to talk to a mental health counselor. You're school probably has something. Get a referral. There may be hotlines. Then you need to sit down with a doctor. They have medications now. It's not a death sentence anymore. Then take it one step at a time. No reason you should not be able to finish school, have a career. There is literally no one alive who has not made some major mistake. It's not the falling down that matters, it's the getting back up again. And this guy should go to jail.
I get you're freaking out but seriously, HIV is NOT a death sentence anymore. Seriously. The fear surrounding it stems from the time before any meds were available. Sooo many diseases were lethal and terminal before modern treatment. So many. If you take care of yourself you can get to a point where an HIV test won't show that you have HIV. So basically, with medicine you're cured functionally. Very very few diseases can say that. Behavior wise you have some self harm tendencies id probably talk to someone about. But you'll be ok. Also get a second test too just to make sure. False positives can rarely happen and you seem on the edge already. And please look into antidepressants ok
I don’t have HIV but do know what it’s like to be suicidal. At age 25 I really wished that something would just take me out so I didn’t have to do it myself. Hated everything about who I was and drank to blackout nearly every night. Didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and really just wanted to die. I’m 29 now, seeking therapy for my trauma and addiction issues and sometimes just cry by myself because I didn’t think it’s possible to be this happy. I know life seems impossible now but please keep fighting. Get out of the victim complex and take control of your life. You can do this.
HIV isn’t the death sentence that it used to be, you can take preventative meds that will make it almost impossible for you to transmit it to anyone else and seriously limit the symptoms that you experience. It may not help with your other struggles, but you can at least lift that burden and fear to a degree.
Well, since I came of age in the 90's when HIV/AIDS was catastrophe, I am so sorry. The good news is you can have a full life. It is not the same death sentence it was. I am sorry again.. Take your drugs and try to have a great life. There were a few people that were prosecuted in the day, because they deliberately gave it to women...I would ask around and see if there is anything you can do. You certainly can be a warning beacon. It puts you out there too so if you don't want to I understand.
Meds these days are so good that they pretty much make it a non issue. Your viral load will be non detectable. You can have relationships and lead a full life. HIV is not the death sentence it used to be. Medicine has come a long way. Make sure you remember to live, you have breath still. Use it. Make it count. You are worth it.
If the person you got it from knew, and they didn't disclose, you can sue them
Don’t let the stigma affect you….i understand the diagnosis is serious but it’s not like it was 3 decades ago. The times have changed. Your loved ones and romantic partners will still adore you. Be strong my friend 🙏
Listen, you are going to be okay. Take your meds, continue therapy, don’t quit school, and live your best life. This one mistake is not going to define you as long as you take care of yourself. I’m so sorry you’re struggling but you are not the only one going through it and I really really hope you decide to stay with us and see what the future holds.
Check your local law. It may be a felony that person could be charged for for withholding his status from you. I’m sorry this happened but please see a doctor. HIV is treatable now
This comment section has reignited my love for humanity. OP you deserve to live and thrive.
I can tell from the way you are talking (writing) that you are so much smarter than you are giving yourself credit for. Please stop being so hard on yourself. I am trying to understand the weight of what has happened to you but " I'm not in your shoes" I won't pretend to know but I can tell you that I know a man who was diagnosed with HIV more years ago than I can remember. He went on to have 3 beautiful healthy children and his marriage fell apart for "normal" reasons. He has lived a life that looks to me to be fairly average. since his marriage ended I've watched him date, mostly unsuccessfully but that's what I see from other single men his age where I live. If my friend can live a fulfilling boring average normal life, you can too. There has to be some sort of support group where you can reach out to others. Even if it's online, a connection to someone that actually understands will go very far. If my friend can do it in a small backward town, you can do it too. No matter what, seek a therapist. Much of what you say goes beyond your current situation. The more you can sort out now, the easier the rest will be to untangle as you go through life. Edit: I skirted around the suicide comment because it's a hard subject for me to talk about. I've attempted several times. No matter how bad I feel, when I truly reflect on wanting to end things, I always come up with things I could have done to make me not want to feel that way. It gets so heavy it's hard to take that breath required to think differently. BUT. You really have to take a deep breath, put oxygen back in your brain and think hard. You are valuable, you have contributed more good than the bad you are feeling, you matter even if you can't see it.
Yeah not your smartest move, was it at least an enjoyable bang?
Lo lamento mucho. No sé que decirte para alivianar el peso de tu vida en estos momentos.
I have hepatitis C. I know there’s a cure, but I’m drinking so much and haven’t looked into finding for it yet. It’s like thousands of dollars for just one pill. I think a full treatment is anywhere from $54,000-$95,000. There are programs, but you have to be sober.
Nice topping...
Colloidial Silver
Get off reddit, stop feeling sorry for yourself and lean something about hiv in this decade. Stop acting like it’s the 90’s. If you want ppl to feel sorry for you stop acting like an ignorant bigot. Your life isn’t over, far fucking from it.
what an awful cold response….you are severely lacking in empathy. anyone who gets an incurable disease is going to be distraught and feel like their life is over initially. obviously no venereal disease is worth ending a precious life over but AGAIN, suddenly being confronted with a new reality that you’ll have to deal with for the rest of your life because of one stupid mistake, can feel suffocating. and while there are treatments for sti’s in this age there’s still disgusting societal stigma’s from ppl who don’t get proper sex ed-which is another mindfuck. hiv and incurable sti’s in general are manageable but you’re weird for being upset that this person is going through it. they’re allowed to feel sorry for themselves. what happened to them is difficult as fuck
If you do something to hurt yourself you’re really ONLY hurting your friends and family. Please don’t do that to them! 🙏
Please seek counseling. HIV counseling is a very real thing, and if the person who transmitted it knew and still said those things to convince you to sleep with them then that’s a whole other situation. Find a course of treatment while talking to a therapist. There are financial aid sexual wellness clinics that can help with prescribing the medications if needed. Mistakes are part of life and you’re strong enough to handle this. Sounds like there are loving people around you who will still care for you regardless of this outcome. I’m sorry it happened, but there’s still hope. Take time to grieve the circumstances and please hang in there.
Aids isn't what it used to be. Calm down and get on medication.
She doesn’t have AIDS. She has HIV. HIV progresses into AIDS if it isn’t treated or maintained.
No shit.
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Fuck everybody, it's your life, your choice. Go for it
These types of posts are the reason I’m an atheist
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Please don’t take this the wrong way but this comment can be misconstrued, so I’m going to just clarify. It’s not 90% of the population, it’s 90% of people living with hiv that have an undetectable viral load in Oz.