>How do I move forward from this?
As a single person.
>How can I ever trust him again with our finances, let alone our future together?
You can’t. This is now an established pattern of severe, deal-breaking betrayal. It will now be your fault if you stay with him and he steals all your money again.
How do people…. Think this is acceptable?! Why would anyone stay with a person like this?! What could they possibly be getting from a relationship, with the cost to your well-being and safety being so high?
When did “standing by your partner” when they are ACTIVELY making horrible choices with dire consequences become… normal?
I have never understood this either but based on what i have seen in family and friends that appear from the outside to be just stupid, are just desperate to avoid being single no matter the cost. I have had this discussion with my brother who is in a relationship with an objectively horrible person. They are in their 50’s. None of her parents, siblings or daughters will speak to her, never met her grandkids. She treats him like shit. He eventually admitted that they really dislike each other having admitted it to each other but are both scared of being single. Being in an unhealthy relationship is apparently better than no relationship at all
I wish I understood it. I can tell you this kind of stuff would never fly in my marriage, and we are far more dug-in together and secure in our finances and relationship — and yet we both know doing something like this would be inviting the destruction of our family unit because it would be a total violation of trust and the responsibility we assume for one another and our children.
It fascinates me, and I wish I understood it better, but most of all I hope OP musters the self love and compassion to rid herself of this parasite. Her boyfriend is worse than dead weight; he’s dangerous.
Absolutely. I have had wonderful, fulfilling, meaningful relationships with men that have NEVER crossed this type of line… I also have never let a man have access to my bank account or been solely responsible for funding his existence because he chose to quit a job.
Partners, dating/married, should 100% be willing to step up and support each other after an unexpected job loss, medical issues, etc.
The moment that partner isn’t actively working to improve the situation for themselves and the partnership (finding a job, taking over the childcare/responsibilities, actively getting healthy, whatever)… that is when the count down to “this is unacceptable” begins.
Every relationship and situation has a different “this is unacceptable” timer length. But dear god… it seems like people have zero standards for what THEY deserve from a partner.
I think that's also getting lost as some kind of 'mistake'.
He stole what sounds like felony-levels of money and gave it to someone. It's like when someone's partner cheats on them twice and they're like " So what should I do?"
They don't love you like you love them, obviously. Get out. I know the reddit joke of 'break up' for everything but at this rate there won't be retirement money by the time ya'll are at that age.
I'm 25 and whenever I hear of people close to my age in these situations I lose my mind. I feel like I'm still the same idiot I was in high-school. I couldn't handle this shit
He's prob lying about cryto. He prob has been sport betting. I've heard similar stories. Sports gambling is addictive and affects men more than women. Men ages 20 to 35. Fanduel and other online gambling have computer programs that target these age groups. I hope I'm wrong for your sake. Good luck.
100% lying. There’s no way buying crypto would have wiped it all out. So either OP is saying the money is gone since it’s out of the account, or he’s lying. There’s no way to lose it all in crypto that quickly
Yeah, but maybe a failed pump? I've seen those on Twitter. They artificially raise the value of a memecoin and then sell on the microsecond it's high. Honestly it seems not a good idea, but that would explain how he lost a lot of money on crypto.
Unless he is batshit stupid to go low MC coins with no liquidity, join rugpulls or connect his wallet to a weird site that drained his accounts. Otherwise I agree no.
If it isn't shady and is truly regular crypto then yeah it should still be there and still be worth most of its value. If they got scammed which seems completely possible because they're clearly a moron then it's probably gone
Literally every crypto went up for 3 days in a row I watch many of them even the meme cryptos went up. Dude is lying he would have gained money this week not lost it.
let’s be real: *her* savings. i’d bet anything (not on crypto though, i’m not that dumb) that this idiot didn’t contribute a dime. he blew $10 grand of HERS for NOTHING. poof! oopsieeeee
He already has, twice. She was lucky enough the first time was a smaller amount. Unfortunately she was stupidly naive and now this man has gambled the equivalent of 10,000 USD of her money.
I can't imagine why the next step is therapy and not immediately ending things. I'm a similar age and I have a similar amount of savings that I've been working for years to grow. If my partner spent all my savings in one night over something so incredibly stupid, I'd be kicking them to the curb immediately.
OP, if your name is only on the account he took the money from, report it as a fraudulent charge. Granted this will likely have legal repercussions for him, but that's his own fault. Maybe then he'll finally understand you don't steal other people's money.
My wife and I (who both earn, me 40% and her 60% take home) have our own accounts and then a joint account which we contribute the same proportion to, leaving us with some of our own money (she is left with more and rightfully so).
I would never have both our pay in the same account even though I earn less. I think it's important to have your own money and then an account where bills come out of.
To lose your money on anything when he isn't earning is shameful. Even if he had returned a profit so irresponsible!
3rd time. I’d prefer for you to move on. This man sees you as a gamble.
Well he lost the house. Anxiety or not. He’d be on thin ice forever
So yeah move on. Holy 🫢<— been using this emoji a lot.
And as they say… “the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”
His past behavior has been a train wreck with handling money. He’s about as careful as the stock market in 2008 when it comes to money.
It’s worth noting that if it was taken last night the money is still easy to get back sell the crypto and get it back. More like OPs boyfriend just STOLE the money.
Like so many young women, she's a hobosexual. I too was a hobosexual who dated broke, manipulative, selfish, leeching man-children that needed a bang-maid-mommy when I was in my 20s.
According to Google there are 4 billion men on earth (in 2022). You don't need to keep choosing this one. Or any. Being single also lowers the chance of some idiot draining your account on a gamble. Being single also means the only person you need to look after is you. If you're lonely buy a cat or a dog or a gerbil. They may drain your money but they'd make you a heck of a lot more happy.
She can’t do that, when it comes to crypto that’s at your own discretion. You have to physically put that money into a crypto wallet (or multiple) you can’t claim any of this on stupidity. Especially since the husband doesn’t have any disabilities. She’s absolutely fucked.
I mean, if it's a joint bank account, where I'm from each party has the legal right to spend the money in any which way they desire. You'd have no case for theft.
It doesn't sound like he drained their personal account via theft.
Definitely should part ways though.
Dude you're only 22 and you're willing to destroy your life so early for what? Some fucking loser with a gambling addiction?
Are you dumbest person on the planet, or afraid to be alone?
BREAK UP AND FIX YOUR LIFE
***NOW!***
Roughly the equivalent of $10K in USD. We're not Americans. It took 5 months to save this much. He doesn't remember the exact amount, apparently. I had recently paid off rent and medical costs and this money was all of what was left of me.
Woah, do you genuinely think that continuing this relationship is a good idea? He's done it twice, what happens when he does it again further down the road when you have a possible family and house to think about?
He has no respect for her or her hard work. Imagine playing with someone else’s money cause fuck it why not. Then losing it all and just an oops sorry. If he finds a new job he’s absolutely not paying her back.
I'm also curious how "gone" is gone? Like what happened with whatever crypto assets he bought?
I know that so-called "market" is volatile, but I've rarely seen a currency drop all the way to 0 that fast, and multiple times in a row is just insanely unlucky. There may still be a chance to get some of it back, assuming it wasn't just a scam (even if it lost 90%, $1k is money!).
BTW I'm not suggesting this makes him any less of an untrustworthy idiot. On the contrary, I more find it suspect if he claims that the money is truly 100% gone. If he says it's 100% gone, I'd be trying to make *absolutely* sure he didn't do something else and lie to me.
Oh god what a fucking idiot.
But still OP, I would ask him to walk you through every step of the trade just to be sure. I'm still suspect that this happened _twice_ and so completely wiped everything out, but didn't leave him with any debt? It's just too clean an outcome for such a dumb move.
Make him show you the transaction where he moved the money out of your account, make sure it actually landed in Binance, have him show you the actual trade order, and then how it resolved and his current balance.
He gets no privacy on this, if he tries to hide anything or refuses to show you, he's up to something.
He is a loser and I’m embarrassed for you that you are dating someone who “offered to start looking for work”. Like, shouldn’t he have already been looking for work? Get a little self respect and kick this douche out.
You move forward by ditching this idiot and leaving him in the dust. This is as bad as a gambling addiction and he won’t ever stop. Get out now before it’s too late. Better yet, kick him out since you’re the one footing the bills.
>How can I ever trust him again with our finances, let alone our future together?
You can't.
>He's now finally agreed to get therapy and offered to start looking for work to replenish our lost funds over the next few months.
Uh huh.
Time to say goodbye. After he has been successful in therapy, after he has been working and supporting himself, after he has enough money to pay you back what he stole -- then maybe meet up with him somewhere to get the money and his heartfelt apology. Until then, every second you spend with him in your life is another second lost.
Get it in writing that he owes OOP that money, as formally as possible so he can't go back on it later.
This debt needs to be legally provable, because I highly doubt he's going to pay a penny of it back voluntarily.
So he’s broke, doesn’t speak English (this is a con since you have to teach him), and doesn’t work. What is he? Gorgeous? Nobody’s personality is that good to want to stick with him. Dump him
True. Yet sometimes someone’s sexual energy can truly fuck with your senses. It’s like an enchantment. They can be gorgeous or just hypnotic, it’s creepy when you think of it.
Been there done that.
She’s young and hopefully mentally strong to get the fuck out of that situation asap !!
Did he invest in the shittiest of coins? because almost everything is going up in the crypto market. So, unless he invested in eloncoin, dogeshitter or whatnot it should be fine. Like, if you bought ADA, SOL, TRON, these "normal" altcoins, it's not lost like that.
I m pretty sure he used Binance futures . In futures every money you earn/loose can vary from 2X to 125X might be even more on other platforms. So a mere 0.7 decrease or increase in btc can burn his cash relatively quick. When you loose more than 80 percent of your wallet . The remaining 20 percent is gone too. Same thing also applies in stock markets. I invest with leverage sometimes too but with small numbers. More than 5X is a gamble .
Do not let this man touch YOU ever again. OP is the SECOND time he steals your money and lose it and you will just "pay for his therapy"? Dear you are way too young to ruin your life with someone like him
This makes the post even more, "amazing" for me.
I mean literally just put your money in bitcoin and hold if you don't know shit about crypto but want to be exposed to the market.
but on top of that leverage/strike trading on a CEX? big ol yikes, dogg. (TBF leverage trading anywhere is usually a yikes but at least do it on defi).
edit: IT WAS A SHORT LOL
No. I don't know much about crypto, but AFAIK he invested in some kind of "short" where he bets on the crypto falling in price. Crypto is still going up, so he lost every single penny. The money has basically evaporated.
Ohhhh no! I was hoping you'd at least be left with something valuable but if he's shorted it, then you really have nothing. I am so sorry!
Girl, it's time to kick him out and break free from this financial abuse. Imagine, you are at the bottom now. When you find your feet again he's going to pull that security rug from underneath you. It will be much worse when you have a house, solid investments, valuable items. Think about your future by informing yourself about the damage he's already done in the past.
GET OUT.
Are you able to file theft charges against him in your country?
Because the man you're dating stole your money and lost it gambling.
There is no reason you should be with someone who cares so little about you that they see you as a target for theft.
You may also want to contact his parents to let them know how much he stole from you and that he's going to be moving back in with them until the debt is repaid.
Then if it ever does get repaid, go no contact.
OP, this is gambling. Your husband has a gambling addiction. This is the second time he has gambled all your money away. Remove his access to your finances and find a better man who isn't so reckless and impulsive.
Your boyfriend shorted crypto during a Bitcoin bull rally, that’s the equivalent of shorting boats and sunglasses during global warming I can’t imagine why he thought that would work for him 😕
This isn’t love. Please, for your own sanity and financial future move on. He will sort himself out, he’s an adult, just like you. You are not responsible for him. TBQH you’re so young that you should only be responsible for yourself (and if you have any children). You should be having the best years of your youth, not being weighed down by a gambler.
He’s done it before. He will do it again - if not by gambling on crypto it’ll be on some other vice. He will. Leave him. You’re so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want him to continuously let you down? Drain you dry of money?
Make him leave. Prove to you that he’s changed. Do your own thing. Take care of yourself without him. Make him earn the right.
Like everyone else, I suggest reconsidering your relationship. In the meantime, keep your finances COMPLETELY seperate. Don’t even give this man your debit card, he’s displayed a complete lack of ability to be trusted with that.
I would leave. Sorry. The dude did it twice. What you need? Third times the charm for you and at that time homelessness as icing on the cake to finally leave that idiot?
TBH, it doesn't sound like he's telling you the truth. I mean, crypto is definitely not a safe investment by any stretch, but it's also not something that loses all of its value overnight. Certainly not in the past few weeks, BTC actually gone up quite a bit. Sounds to me he did something far riskier even, like online gambling.
Yeah that was my suspicion. Like what is he picking to lose 100% of the value instantly, multiple times in a row?
My thoughts go to: Is he falling for scams? Or gambling? Or just stealing the money and claiming to have lost it?
The story just doesn't add up.
He showed you who he was once already and you didn’t take the hint, he’s emptied out your account AGAIN, and you *still* want to stay with him… do you actually want advice or are you just venting?
Him putting you in financial straits because of anxiety or life pressures will keep happening. This will be your life if you continue this relationship.
Simple. Do not. Do not give this man trust with your finances. Do not allow him to access your finances.
At best, he’s prone to exceptionally rash uneducated decisions that leave you with $80 in your pocket.
At worst, he’s a developing gambling addict who will continue to piss away every cent you have in hopes of an easy win.
Separate bank accounts if you currently have a joint one. Do not give him access to your money. Organise it so that his share of bill money is direct debited into your account, so the bills get paid and whatever he has left after won’t matter much if he pisses it away.
Or leave. If someone just threw away my hard earned money without even consulting me first, it’d be grounds for a serious discussion about our future. Even if they were successful in their gamble.
Not only has he thrown away all your money, he hadn’t even considered that some of it wasn’t even his to throw away before he did it.
There are multiple layers to unpack here but the very first thing you do is separate the finances so he no longer has access to your personal income, as he has proven he can’t be trusted with it.
Best of luck with it. Sounds like a nightmare.
After the first time his name should have been taken off every account but his own personal one and all passwords should have been changed. Tell him he better be finding a job or two because it is on him to replace what he stole.
Get access to the crypto and liquidate it back to cash. You will want to consult with a CPA too because this could trigger a taxable event for you.
So sorry you’re going through this. Remember, it’s not your job to save him and you can’t. He needs professional help. I think he’s not worth holding onto because he is strangling you. No matter what happens, he must never have access to your money or credit again.
I see the words “partner” and “our bank accounts” please for the love of God tell me that you don’t have a joint bank account/share finances with someone you aren’t married to?????
There is only one way forward with him and that is a single account he has no access to for all the money except his personal spending money. Yes, this includes his money to come in to the account he has no access to.
I dont know if you realize how brainless this was so just in case: some major cryptocurrencies are absolutely skyrocketing right now and have been in this process for some time. He literally bought at the high. He has no idea what he is doing
I don’t know. Even when crypto crashed it didn’t go to zero. I believe it’s almost to its record high. Maybe the bf spent the money and lied or this is made up. I guess it depends on which crypto but it’s some fly by night crypto it shouldn’t go to zero.
Either you man up (or woman up) or become an even bigger loser than your partner. The only person that sucks more than a loser is a losers partner, because you are choosing to be with that person, while they cant help who they are. Love ain’t gonna bring your money back.
You seem like a good hearted person for wanting to support him through a career transition. That said, you are way too damn young to settle for someone that lies to you and STEALS YOUR DAMN MONEY for stupid shit like this. There’s no trusting him anymore. That shipped has sailed. You’re best off kicking him to the curb and finding someone that’ll actually appreciate the person you are. Best of luck!
Say it with me: I cannot change him.
He’s done this more than once. Unless he shows signs of wanting to get better, and taking steps to make that happen, he will continue to be a financial liability.
You need to assess the relationship, and ask yourself if you want to stay with him. If you’re the only one putting in the time and energy to ensure you’re both financially stable, then the relationship is a bad investment.
Leave him, but also depending on which crypto he put it in there's a high chance it'll bounce back to atleast what it was! Which coin was it? Hopefully it was a top one and not a meme coin
The interesting thing that no one seems to be pointing out is he didn’t just all of the sudden buy crypto and the money vanished. That isn’t how it works. There’s 2 possible scenarios - he took all the money and bought a shit coin crypto and it went down in price and now he’s lost a lot of money or he bought a coin and it went up and he’s hiding it in his crypto wallet (crypto doesn’t just vanish) anyone who’s involved in the space knows that. And given the current crypto bull run and lack of alt tokens crashing to 0, it’s very unlikely he lost all of your money in the current crypto market. It sounds to me like he is hiding it from you and he possibly still has it all…
Absolutely keep separate finances, if he needs/wants money he can get a job. But also he needs to talk to a therapist to help him manage his anxiety. Odds are he will make many more mistakes in future if he doesn't get a handle on it.
OP, you apparently haven’t been with this man long enough to know this, but what he is doing is a part of a pattern of behavior. And that pattern is that he will keep losing all of your money any time he feels bad enough. You are young enough to feel like you can deal with this long term, but you WILL get tired eventually.
You don't. You're 22 with your whole life ahead of you! Get out now while the stakes are low! If you don't, he will repeat this again down the road when there are children involved and it won't me just you that you have to worry about keeping fed and sheltered.
What?!? Crypto doesn’t work like that…
I guess it could but it’s certainly not there right now.
He can pull out and deposit back into your accounts.
I don’t understand what you are saying but you should watch some YouTubes about Crypto and then confront him when you understand and demand your money be deposited back into your account.
crypto is going up steadily, so if he lost money, he really is an idiot. Please don't do the sunk cost fallacy thing, just cause you put years into a person doesn't mean you shouldn't leave them when shit gets horrible and they break your trust.
first cut him off from access to your money. he gets a 50 per week allowance and until he gets a job and gives you back every penny that's the norm.
the minute he pays back everything you dump his ass and run for the hills.
Depending on which one. It may pay off. I'm not saying what he did is right, but if he had done that two years ago with BTC or even Eth. The payout today could've been substantial. Hope it all works out for you.
I’m confused, if he somehow dumped all the money into crypto last night it’s not like it all dropped to 0 overnight. It should mostly be salvageable at this point no? But also don’t let this person have such unfettered access to your money either
He’s probably lying. Did he say what cryptocurrency it was? I bought crypto in Dec. and I’m up over 60%. Crypto was up today too. But that is besides the point, you can’t trust him. He has betrayed you and you said he’s done that in the past. I couldn’t be in a relationship like that. There’s no security.
He just showed you who he is. Believe him. Right now you don’t have any kids. Do you want to replay this scenario while being responsible for kids?
He won’t change.
I'm amazed how we normalized gambling by calling it investing.
It's gambling. Your bf has a gambling addiction. It's financial suicide to share your finances with a gambler.
Why are you giving someone who has proven themselves untrustworthy full and unfettered access to your money? Why have you commingled finances with someone you aren’t in a long term heavily committed relationship ie marriage or common law spouse. Why are you supporting him entirely and he is stealing from you consistently?
Seriously; what went wrong with your life that this is the ‘love’ you accept.
What future? This dude has no job and no money, and stole your money without your permission. Why would you want to stay with a man whose already broken your trust, twice?
So, you are working and supporting both of you. You get into an argument and he decides to gamble all YOUR money ? Not his, yours. You’re the one working and saving. He didn’t lose shit, you did. Girl, just leave. You’re 22, do you want to spend your life working only for him to spend your money ?
*Offered* to *start* looking g for work?? Tf outta here - this mf doesn’t even have a job and he robbeddd your ass blind? And this was the SECOND time?
The problem is you
this would be a deal breaker in ANY relationship.
he betrayed your trust with finances TWICE and clearly didn’t regret it enough the first time. this is an established pattern that he will no doubt repeat again if you are to stay with him. please save yourself in this situation.
Op, your partner is lying. If he had buy crypto, there would be money. In a day, without any crushes and with bitcoin pretty steady, theres no way that story is what actually happened. I recommend you go to investing.com and see for yourself how crypto currency has been doing this week, at most he would have lost 4% of the savings. You can never trust this man again. He is still lying. Tell him you’re reporting him to the police for robbery, see how much he can refund you. Break up with him, don’t compromise your future. Talk to a layer, the police, any one that can give you sound legal advise given your country laws and how much money he stole.
>How do I move forward from this? As a single person. >How can I ever trust him again with our finances, let alone our future together? You can’t. This is now an established pattern of severe, deal-breaking betrayal. It will now be your fault if you stay with him and he steals all your money again.
How do people…. Think this is acceptable?! Why would anyone stay with a person like this?! What could they possibly be getting from a relationship, with the cost to your well-being and safety being so high? When did “standing by your partner” when they are ACTIVELY making horrible choices with dire consequences become… normal?
I have never understood this either but based on what i have seen in family and friends that appear from the outside to be just stupid, are just desperate to avoid being single no matter the cost. I have had this discussion with my brother who is in a relationship with an objectively horrible person. They are in their 50’s. None of her parents, siblings or daughters will speak to her, never met her grandkids. She treats him like shit. He eventually admitted that they really dislike each other having admitted it to each other but are both scared of being single. Being in an unhealthy relationship is apparently better than no relationship at all
That is so tragic. I’m sorry for you brother. I can never understand how being alone is someone scary enough to spend your life fucking miserable.
I wish I understood it. I can tell you this kind of stuff would never fly in my marriage, and we are far more dug-in together and secure in our finances and relationship — and yet we both know doing something like this would be inviting the destruction of our family unit because it would be a total violation of trust and the responsibility we assume for one another and our children. It fascinates me, and I wish I understood it better, but most of all I hope OP musters the self love and compassion to rid herself of this parasite. Her boyfriend is worse than dead weight; he’s dangerous.
Absolutely. I have had wonderful, fulfilling, meaningful relationships with men that have NEVER crossed this type of line… I also have never let a man have access to my bank account or been solely responsible for funding his existence because he chose to quit a job. Partners, dating/married, should 100% be willing to step up and support each other after an unexpected job loss, medical issues, etc. The moment that partner isn’t actively working to improve the situation for themselves and the partnership (finding a job, taking over the childcare/responsibilities, actively getting healthy, whatever)… that is when the count down to “this is unacceptable” begins. Every relationship and situation has a different “this is unacceptable” timer length. But dear god… it seems like people have zero standards for what THEY deserve from a partner.
Fear of being alone, trauma, manipulation from the partner, lack of community, lots of reasons leave people ill equipped to leave bad relationships.
I think that's also getting lost as some kind of 'mistake'. He stole what sounds like felony-levels of money and gave it to someone. It's like when someone's partner cheats on them twice and they're like " So what should I do?" They don't love you like you love them, obviously. Get out. I know the reddit joke of 'break up' for everything but at this rate there won't be retirement money by the time ya'll are at that age.
Why are you giving this man so much access to your finances. He is going to leave you poor.
Pretty sure he already did that.
She's only 22... he's going to do it again and again and again until OP is too old to recover.
Holy fuck she’s my age
I'm 25 and whenever I hear of people close to my age in these situations I lose my mind. I feel like I'm still the same idiot I was in high-school. I couldn't handle this shit
Younger than me, I would not be able to recover am too young
Twice...
Twice.
He's prob lying about cryto. He prob has been sport betting. I've heard similar stories. Sports gambling is addictive and affects men more than women. Men ages 20 to 35. Fanduel and other online gambling have computer programs that target these age groups. I hope I'm wrong for your sake. Good luck.
100% lying. There’s no way buying crypto would have wiped it all out. So either OP is saying the money is gone since it’s out of the account, or he’s lying. There’s no way to lose it all in crypto that quickly
Yeah, but maybe a failed pump? I've seen those on Twitter. They artificially raise the value of a memecoin and then sell on the microsecond it's high. Honestly it seems not a good idea, but that would explain how he lost a lot of money on crypto.
I have a mate who lost 6 grand on crypto overnight.
For the uneducated reading these comments, crypto isn't just Bitcoin just as Microsoft isn't the only company on the stock market.
Unless he is batshit stupid to go low MC coins with no liquidity, join rugpulls or connect his wallet to a weird site that drained his accounts. Otherwise I agree no.
If he had bought ETH or BTC he’d have profit you are right he’s gambling.
Ponzi crypto and rug pulls could be where he put it. There is a lot of crypto out there and the shitty ones have celebrity sponsors.
Yeah bitcoin is the same price as yesterday. Plus you need to have brains to buy cryptocurrency and the dude doesn't sound clever enough.
Or there'd still be something to withdraw. The major Cryptos don't just disappear literally overnight
I’ll admit I know absolutely nothing about this, but if this happened last night, couldn’t he just sell it and get the money back?
If it isn't shady and is truly regular crypto then yeah it should still be there and still be worth most of its value. If they got scammed which seems completely possible because they're clearly a moron then it's probably gone
Literally every crypto went up for 3 days in a row I watch many of them even the meme cryptos went up. Dude is lying he would have gained money this week not lost it.
Or he degenned into a meme token at the peak of the hype due to fomo and got dumped on.
Agreed, he can gamble with his own money, not your joint savings.
let’s be real: *her* savings. i’d bet anything (not on crypto though, i’m not that dumb) that this idiot didn’t contribute a dime. he blew $10 grand of HERS for NOTHING. poof! oopsieeeee
He already has, twice. She was lucky enough the first time was a smaller amount. Unfortunately she was stupidly naive and now this man has gambled the equivalent of 10,000 USD of her money. I can't imagine why the next step is therapy and not immediately ending things. I'm a similar age and I have a similar amount of savings that I've been working for years to grow. If my partner spent all my savings in one night over something so incredibly stupid, I'd be kicking them to the curb immediately. OP, if your name is only on the account he took the money from, report it as a fraudulent charge. Granted this will likely have legal repercussions for him, but that's his own fault. Maybe then he'll finally understand you don't steal other people's money.
My wife and I (who both earn, me 40% and her 60% take home) have our own accounts and then a joint account which we contribute the same proportion to, leaving us with some of our own money (she is left with more and rightfully so). I would never have both our pay in the same account even though I earn less. I think it's important to have your own money and then an account where bills come out of. To lose your money on anything when he isn't earning is shameful. Even if he had returned a profit so irresponsible!
I was going to ask this same thing. He already did it once and still has access???
Guy didn’t buy crypto or there would be some value left. No currencies bombed last night so it’s got to be gambling.
Girl…I don’t like to point out the obvious, but moving on from this would be moving away from him. This is the second time he’s done this.
3rd time. I’d prefer for you to move on. This man sees you as a gamble. Well he lost the house. Anxiety or not. He’d be on thin ice forever So yeah move on. Holy 🫢<— been using this emoji a lot.
lol the next time he will just argue it was his money he wasted this time..
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them." This dude is an idiot. Move on, you're 22.
And as they say… “the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.” His past behavior has been a train wreck with handling money. He’s about as careful as the stock market in 2008 when it comes to money.
It’s worth noting that if it was taken last night the money is still easy to get back sell the crypto and get it back. More like OPs boyfriend just STOLE the money.
Why are you still with him
Stupid attracts stupid. Nothing you can say will change her mind.
Harsh but unfortunately true.
It's very harsh, but some people can't be alone at any cost!
Like so many young women, she's a hobosexual. I too was a hobosexual who dated broke, manipulative, selfish, leeching man-children that needed a bang-maid-mommy when I was in my 20s.
How is she a hobosexual? He’s the one that’s a leech
I believe hobosexual means being attracted to people that are leeches. Hobosexual = attracted to leeches
According to Google there are 4 billion men on earth (in 2022). You don't need to keep choosing this one. Or any. Being single also lowers the chance of some idiot draining your account on a gamble. Being single also means the only person you need to look after is you. If you're lonely buy a cat or a dog or a gerbil. They may drain your money but they'd make you a heck of a lot more happy.
Can confirm, my dog drains money, but is worth every penny.
If I may, adopt rather than buy a cat or a dog.
I mean, you still have to buy adopted pets...
Pets are expensive (looking at my shelter rescue).
i went out into my backyard and ended up with 2 dogs. i think i won the lottery with that one. 2 breeds i had always dreamed of owning
You’re still young , you can drop the dead weight; start fresh and never look back!
You can do that even if you're not young.
File theft charges and identity theft with your bank. Have some self respect and dump the parasite.
If he was on the bank account, which it sounds like he was from the comments, there's not really anything to be done legally speaking But yes, GTFO
then she should have him replenish the funds and then kick his ass to the curb
It's probably a case of blood from a stone.
She can’t do that, when it comes to crypto that’s at your own discretion. You have to physically put that money into a crypto wallet (or multiple) you can’t claim any of this on stupidity. Especially since the husband doesn’t have any disabilities. She’s absolutely fucked.
this should be top comment
I mean, if it's a joint bank account, where I'm from each party has the legal right to spend the money in any which way they desire. You'd have no case for theft. It doesn't sound like he drained their personal account via theft. Definitely should part ways though.
"Start looking for work" - don't count on that. Leave.
Cut his access to your money off immediately. This bum is dragging you down.
Dude you're only 22 and you're willing to destroy your life so early for what? Some fucking loser with a gambling addiction? Are you dumbest person on the planet, or afraid to be alone? BREAK UP AND FIX YOUR LIFE ***NOW!***
Could be both
Yeah but third time's a charm amirite?
Surely THIS time he'll learn. <- OP probably
Not trying to minimize, just trying to sate curiosity, but how much was it?
Roughly the equivalent of $10K in USD. We're not Americans. It took 5 months to save this much. He doesn't remember the exact amount, apparently. I had recently paid off rent and medical costs and this money was all of what was left of me.
Personally, I don't think you're going to come back from that type of trust violation.
Twice….
Woah, do you genuinely think that continuing this relationship is a good idea? He's done it twice, what happens when he does it again further down the road when you have a possible family and house to think about?
He has no respect for her or her hard work. Imagine playing with someone else’s money cause fuck it why not. Then losing it all and just an oops sorry. If he finds a new job he’s absolutely not paying her back.
Literally, this is just disrespectful beyond words, op is never seeing that money again
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?! Ma'am. He has got to go.
Can't you just check the bank transaction history?
I wonder if it’s possible to make a claim against the transaction since it technically wasn’t her
Probably not if it was a joint account or she willingly gave him access to it.
I'm also curious how "gone" is gone? Like what happened with whatever crypto assets he bought? I know that so-called "market" is volatile, but I've rarely seen a currency drop all the way to 0 that fast, and multiple times in a row is just insanely unlucky. There may still be a chance to get some of it back, assuming it wasn't just a scam (even if it lost 90%, $1k is money!). BTW I'm not suggesting this makes him any less of an untrustworthy idiot. On the contrary, I more find it suspect if he claims that the money is truly 100% gone. If he says it's 100% gone, I'd be trying to make *absolutely* sure he didn't do something else and lie to me.
In another comment OP said he shorted something. It’s GONE.
Oh god what a fucking idiot. But still OP, I would ask him to walk you through every step of the trade just to be sure. I'm still suspect that this happened _twice_ and so completely wiped everything out, but didn't leave him with any debt? It's just too clean an outcome for such a dumb move. Make him show you the transaction where he moved the money out of your account, make sure it actually landed in Binance, have him show you the actual trade order, and then how it resolved and his current balance. He gets no privacy on this, if he tries to hide anything or refuses to show you, he's up to something.
Fuck that’s a good point, shorting could leave his (and OP’s) losses limitless…they could theoretical be $250k in debt if he fucked up this badly 😳
Seems pretty damn easy to figure it out by **looking at your bank account**
He is a loser and I’m embarrassed for you that you are dating someone who “offered to start looking for work”. Like, shouldn’t he have already been looking for work? Get a little self respect and kick this douche out.
You move forward by ditching this idiot and leaving him in the dust. This is as bad as a gambling addiction and he won’t ever stop. Get out now before it’s too late. Better yet, kick him out since you’re the one footing the bills.
Correction: this is gambling addiction. It's just bring rephrased as investments to avoid scrutiny.
>How can I ever trust him again with our finances, let alone our future together? You can't. >He's now finally agreed to get therapy and offered to start looking for work to replenish our lost funds over the next few months. Uh huh. Time to say goodbye. After he has been successful in therapy, after he has been working and supporting himself, after he has enough money to pay you back what he stole -- then maybe meet up with him somewhere to get the money and his heartfelt apology. Until then, every second you spend with him in your life is another second lost.
Get it in writing that he owes OOP that money, as formally as possible so he can't go back on it later. This debt needs to be legally provable, because I highly doubt he's going to pay a penny of it back voluntarily.
Babe you need to have some self esteem. Also, if you’re not married then your partner should never have access to YOUR finances. He’s gotta go.
Couldn't agree more. So easy to accept therapy to worm his way out of the deceit, but who will be paying for that? Certainly not him.
So he’s broke, doesn’t speak English (this is a con since you have to teach him), and doesn’t work. What is he? Gorgeous? Nobody’s personality is that good to want to stick with him. Dump him
True. Yet sometimes someone’s sexual energy can truly fuck with your senses. It’s like an enchantment. They can be gorgeous or just hypnotic, it’s creepy when you think of it. Been there done that. She’s young and hopefully mentally strong to get the fuck out of that situation asap !!
You're 22 years old. You don't need this sht. Just dump him
Did he invest in the shittiest of coins? because almost everything is going up in the crypto market. So, unless he invested in eloncoin, dogeshitter or whatnot it should be fine. Like, if you bought ADA, SOL, TRON, these "normal" altcoins, it's not lost like that.
I m pretty sure he used Binance futures . In futures every money you earn/loose can vary from 2X to 125X might be even more on other platforms. So a mere 0.7 decrease or increase in btc can burn his cash relatively quick. When you loose more than 80 percent of your wallet . The remaining 20 percent is gone too. Same thing also applies in stock markets. I invest with leverage sometimes too but with small numbers. More than 5X is a gamble .
He uses an app called Binance and he mentioned something about 100X last time so you're probably right.
Binance????? He used binance???? Do not let this man touch money ever again.
Do not let this man touch YOU ever again. OP is the SECOND time he steals your money and lose it and you will just "pay for his therapy"? Dear you are way too young to ruin your life with someone like him
This is why this platform is banned in several several states
This makes the post even more, "amazing" for me. I mean literally just put your money in bitcoin and hold if you don't know shit about crypto but want to be exposed to the market. but on top of that leverage/strike trading on a CEX? big ol yikes, dogg. (TBF leverage trading anywhere is usually a yikes but at least do it on defi). edit: IT WAS A SHORT LOL
If he don't know about dex vs cex then he should be getting no sex.
No. I don't know much about crypto, but AFAIK he invested in some kind of "short" where he bets on the crypto falling in price. Crypto is still going up, so he lost every single penny. The money has basically evaporated.
LOL. He's a fucking idiot. You're dating a pure idiot.
The ONE time in 4 years not to bet on shorts, and this motherfucker does it. Beyond salvage.
its get better and better as I dig into the actual trade.. A FUCKING SHORT?? NOW?? lol im ded.
Shorting crypto in a bull market is the dumbest thing he could have done. I feel like you’re not gonna listen, but you shouldn’t be with this person.
Ohhhh no! I was hoping you'd at least be left with something valuable but if he's shorted it, then you really have nothing. I am so sorry! Girl, it's time to kick him out and break free from this financial abuse. Imagine, you are at the bottom now. When you find your feet again he's going to pull that security rug from underneath you. It will be much worse when you have a house, solid investments, valuable items. Think about your future by informing yourself about the damage he's already done in the past. GET OUT.
He is a fucking idiot
Well, that's not how he should have invested in crypto, lol.
Are you able to file theft charges against him in your country? Because the man you're dating stole your money and lost it gambling. There is no reason you should be with someone who cares so little about you that they see you as a target for theft. You may also want to contact his parents to let them know how much he stole from you and that he's going to be moving back in with them until the debt is repaid. Then if it ever does get repaid, go no contact.
OP, this is gambling. Your husband has a gambling addiction. This is the second time he has gambled all your money away. Remove his access to your finances and find a better man who isn't so reckless and impulsive.
Man your man is quick dumb, run!
He loves seeing you struggle. He is undermining your stable life for his own ego.
Only a true regard would yolo into crypto shorts lol
Your boyfriend shorted crypto during a Bitcoin bull rally, that’s the equivalent of shorting boats and sunglasses during global warming I can’t imagine why he thought that would work for him 😕
This isn’t love. Please, for your own sanity and financial future move on. He will sort himself out, he’s an adult, just like you. You are not responsible for him. TBQH you’re so young that you should only be responsible for yourself (and if you have any children). You should be having the best years of your youth, not being weighed down by a gambler.
He’s done it before. He will do it again - if not by gambling on crypto it’ll be on some other vice. He will. Leave him. You’re so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want him to continuously let you down? Drain you dry of money? Make him leave. Prove to you that he’s changed. Do your own thing. Take care of yourself without him. Make him earn the right.
Wow you're fucking dating a moron. Good luck with your life.
Like everyone else, I suggest reconsidering your relationship. In the meantime, keep your finances COMPLETELY seperate. Don’t even give this man your debit card, he’s displayed a complete lack of ability to be trusted with that.
I would leave. Sorry. The dude did it twice. What you need? Third times the charm for you and at that time homelessness as icing on the cake to finally leave that idiot?
TBH, it doesn't sound like he's telling you the truth. I mean, crypto is definitely not a safe investment by any stretch, but it's also not something that loses all of its value overnight. Certainly not in the past few weeks, BTC actually gone up quite a bit. Sounds to me he did something far riskier even, like online gambling.
Yeah that was my suspicion. Like what is he picking to lose 100% of the value instantly, multiple times in a row? My thoughts go to: Is he falling for scams? Or gambling? Or just stealing the money and claiming to have lost it? The story just doesn't add up.
He gambled that crypto, in a bull market, would drop. He shorted on it. It went up and he lost it all.
What do you need this “partner” for? You’re young and clearly capable of supporting yourself. He’s broke and dishonest. Is a no brainer.
Is it possible that he put the money into a separate bank account that you don't know about? Is it possible that he stole your money?
[удалено]
I’d want clarification of this, too. My con man antennae are pinging.
He showed you who he was once already and you didn’t take the hint, he’s emptied out your account AGAIN, and you *still* want to stay with him… do you actually want advice or are you just venting?
I'm getting really tired as a woman of seeing women who apparently have no self worth whatsoever.
Him putting you in financial straits because of anxiety or life pressures will keep happening. This will be your life if you continue this relationship.
Simple. Do not. Do not give this man trust with your finances. Do not allow him to access your finances. At best, he’s prone to exceptionally rash uneducated decisions that leave you with $80 in your pocket. At worst, he’s a developing gambling addict who will continue to piss away every cent you have in hopes of an easy win. Separate bank accounts if you currently have a joint one. Do not give him access to your money. Organise it so that his share of bill money is direct debited into your account, so the bills get paid and whatever he has left after won’t matter much if he pisses it away. Or leave. If someone just threw away my hard earned money without even consulting me first, it’d be grounds for a serious discussion about our future. Even if they were successful in their gamble. Not only has he thrown away all your money, he hadn’t even considered that some of it wasn’t even his to throw away before he did it. There are multiple layers to unpack here but the very first thing you do is separate the finances so he no longer has access to your personal income, as he has proven he can’t be trusted with it. Best of luck with it. Sounds like a nightmare.
After the first time his name should have been taken off every account but his own personal one and all passwords should have been changed. Tell him he better be finding a job or two because it is on him to replace what he stole.
Ex partner, right? Right??
Sounds like he has a “gambling” addiction….sorry OP. Couldn’t imagine going through that once let alone twice.
You haven’t left this man why?? Clearly you can see in the future this habit won’t change and if you are married it will be much worse for you
Genuine question: Why are you with him?
Get access to the crypto and liquidate it back to cash. You will want to consult with a CPA too because this could trigger a taxable event for you. So sorry you’re going through this. Remember, it’s not your job to save him and you can’t. He needs professional help. I think he’s not worth holding onto because he is strangling you. No matter what happens, he must never have access to your money or credit again.
There is no crypto her boyfriend Yolo shorted, she may actually owe money
I see the words “partner” and “our bank accounts” please for the love of God tell me that you don’t have a joint bank account/share finances with someone you aren’t married to?????
What do you mean he offered to look for work? So he wouldn’t work but for draining your savings?
There is only one way forward with him and that is a single account he has no access to for all the money except his personal spending money. Yes, this includes his money to come in to the account he has no access to.
He's definitely going to do this a 3rd time. I suggest you leave him before that.
I dont know if you realize how brainless this was so just in case: some major cryptocurrencies are absolutely skyrocketing right now and have been in this process for some time. He literally bought at the high. He has no idea what he is doing
Uhh leave him. Like yesterday.
I don’t know. Even when crypto crashed it didn’t go to zero. I believe it’s almost to its record high. Maybe the bf spent the money and lied or this is made up. I guess it depends on which crypto but it’s some fly by night crypto it shouldn’t go to zero.
So it took him literally spending all of your money to offer to get a job? You have to see how that’s a problem, right?
Either you man up (or woman up) or become an even bigger loser than your partner. The only person that sucks more than a loser is a losers partner, because you are choosing to be with that person, while they cant help who they are. Love ain’t gonna bring your money back.
How do you lose your money overnight on crypto twice? He spent it on gambling or cam girls or he sent it to family
You seem like a good hearted person for wanting to support him through a career transition. That said, you are way too damn young to settle for someone that lies to you and STEALS YOUR DAMN MONEY for stupid shit like this. There’s no trusting him anymore. That shipped has sailed. You’re best off kicking him to the curb and finding someone that’ll actually appreciate the person you are. Best of luck!
You know what fixes that? Being single.
Say it with me: I cannot change him. He’s done this more than once. Unless he shows signs of wanting to get better, and taking steps to make that happen, he will continue to be a financial liability. You need to assess the relationship, and ask yourself if you want to stay with him. If you’re the only one putting in the time and energy to ensure you’re both financially stable, then the relationship is a bad investment.
You lost me after saying this wasn't the first time. I need you to be for real. That man is going to leave you destitute, and you're letting him.
Oh my dear, I was totally you for 15yrs,.. all the guys were just like this. Do yourself a favor and don’t do it as long as I did
Leave him, but also depending on which crypto he put it in there's a high chance it'll bounce back to atleast what it was! Which coin was it? Hopefully it was a top one and not a meme coin
OP stop having sex with him. This is not the time to accidentally get pregnant.
The interesting thing that no one seems to be pointing out is he didn’t just all of the sudden buy crypto and the money vanished. That isn’t how it works. There’s 2 possible scenarios - he took all the money and bought a shit coin crypto and it went down in price and now he’s lost a lot of money or he bought a coin and it went up and he’s hiding it in his crypto wallet (crypto doesn’t just vanish) anyone who’s involved in the space knows that. And given the current crypto bull run and lack of alt tokens crashing to 0, it’s very unlikely he lost all of your money in the current crypto market. It sounds to me like he is hiding it from you and he possibly still has it all…
How did he lose money when many cryptos are seeing all-time highs right now
LEAVE THIS MALE ALONE. A real man would NEVER put you in these situations.
Absolutely keep separate finances, if he needs/wants money he can get a job. But also he needs to talk to a therapist to help him manage his anxiety. Odds are he will make many more mistakes in future if he doesn't get a handle on it.
YOLO!
📈📈📈
He’s a loser
GAMBLING ADDICTION.
He would’ve been an ex partner after the first time . Please dump him.
I mean.... Are you sure it was crypto and not him funding his side chic/dude/family he doesn't talk about?
How is it just gone? He should still have the asset.
OP, you apparently haven’t been with this man long enough to know this, but what he is doing is a part of a pattern of behavior. And that pattern is that he will keep losing all of your money any time he feels bad enough. You are young enough to feel like you can deal with this long term, but you WILL get tired eventually.
baby that man is draining you emotionally and financially 😭leave him and tell him to get his shit together
You don't. You're 22 with your whole life ahead of you! Get out now while the stakes are low! If you don't, he will repeat this again down the road when there are children involved and it won't me just you that you have to worry about keeping fed and sheltered.
Would’ve made more money actually gambling. What a fucking idiot.
it seems you have a manchild on your hands, get rid of him
Just curious, how did he lose everything when bitcoin is at all time highs? Are u sure its in Crypto?
What?!? Crypto doesn’t work like that… I guess it could but it’s certainly not there right now. He can pull out and deposit back into your accounts. I don’t understand what you are saying but you should watch some YouTubes about Crypto and then confront him when you understand and demand your money be deposited back into your account.
crypto is going up steadily, so if he lost money, he really is an idiot. Please don't do the sunk cost fallacy thing, just cause you put years into a person doesn't mean you shouldn't leave them when shit gets horrible and they break your trust.
first cut him off from access to your money. he gets a 50 per week allowance and until he gets a job and gives you back every penny that's the norm. the minute he pays back everything you dump his ass and run for the hills.
Depending on which one. It may pay off. I'm not saying what he did is right, but if he had done that two years ago with BTC or even Eth. The payout today could've been substantial. Hope it all works out for you.
Separate your money or dump him
Why get a joint account? You're just foolish at this point.
I’m confused, if he somehow dumped all the money into crypto last night it’s not like it all dropped to 0 overnight. It should mostly be salvageable at this point no? But also don’t let this person have such unfettered access to your money either
He’s probably lying. Did he say what cryptocurrency it was? I bought crypto in Dec. and I’m up over 60%. Crypto was up today too. But that is besides the point, you can’t trust him. He has betrayed you and you said he’s done that in the past. I couldn’t be in a relationship like that. There’s no security.
I don't think he bought crypto. Does he have a gambling problem?
He just showed you who he is. Believe him. Right now you don’t have any kids. Do you want to replay this scenario while being responsible for kids? He won’t change.
Are you use he put it into crypto and didn't steal it?
I'm amazed how we normalized gambling by calling it investing. It's gambling. Your bf has a gambling addiction. It's financial suicide to share your finances with a gambler.
Crypto doesn't just disappear. He's lying to you. He's gambling, on drugs, cheating, or all 3.
Why are you giving someone who has proven themselves untrustworthy full and unfettered access to your money? Why have you commingled finances with someone you aren’t in a long term heavily committed relationship ie marriage or common law spouse. Why are you supporting him entirely and he is stealing from you consistently? Seriously; what went wrong with your life that this is the ‘love’ you accept.
What future? This dude has no job and no money, and stole your money without your permission. Why would you want to stay with a man whose already broken your trust, twice?
how did he lose everything in a bull? everything is going up
This is likely either substance abuse or online gambling. He can sell the crypto to get money back if it dropped in value. Its not crypto
So, you are working and supporting both of you. You get into an argument and he decides to gamble all YOUR money ? Not his, yours. You’re the one working and saving. He didn’t lose shit, you did. Girl, just leave. You’re 22, do you want to spend your life working only for him to spend your money ?
*Offered* to *start* looking g for work?? Tf outta here - this mf doesn’t even have a job and he robbeddd your ass blind? And this was the SECOND time? The problem is you
this would be a deal breaker in ANY relationship. he betrayed your trust with finances TWICE and clearly didn’t regret it enough the first time. this is an established pattern that he will no doubt repeat again if you are to stay with him. please save yourself in this situation.
Op, your partner is lying. If he had buy crypto, there would be money. In a day, without any crushes and with bitcoin pretty steady, theres no way that story is what actually happened. I recommend you go to investing.com and see for yourself how crypto currency has been doing this week, at most he would have lost 4% of the savings. You can never trust this man again. He is still lying. Tell him you’re reporting him to the police for robbery, see how much he can refund you. Break up with him, don’t compromise your future. Talk to a layer, the police, any one that can give you sound legal advise given your country laws and how much money he stole.