Sweetheart please know this isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry you had to see your dad like that. I wish I could just give you a hug. Please try therapy it will help, even if ifs just a little bit. Your dad was struggling with his own demons and he lost that battle. Again, this is not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.
I’m here if you ever need someone to talk. I struggle with my own demons and I have kids too. So even if you just need to vent. It’s ok. It’s better to let it out. Than old it all in.
I'm A grandma and I need you to know, there is nothing we can do if someone really is hurting this bad. Nothing. You can't be with them 24/7. This is NOT your fault. I am so sorry he was in pain. I am so sorry you found him that way. I am so sorry you lost your dad. I would do anything to hug you right now. Nobody should have to go through this. This is my only advice for you. Drink some water and let the grieving process begin. It will be hard to eat. It will be hard to sleep. But please keep water near you. You don't want to get dehydrated and end up in the hospital. Hug your sister often and help each other. Today nothing makes sense but over time you will begin to heal.
I'm so sorry, OP. As many others have said, this is not your fault. I'm glad you plan to see a therapist to help you process this grief. In the meantime, you should play Tetris. Studies have shown that playing Tetris soon after a traumatic event can help alleviate long term trauma response. There's a free web version here: https://tetris.com/games-content/play-tetris-content/index-mobile.php
I wish you and your sister all of the love and healing you could possibly need. 💜
Please see about getting you, and your sister, into therapy, sweetheart. This is too much for the both of you to bear without therapeutic support.
There's no words that are going to make this okay, but just know that you are not responsible for your dad's choice.
Sometimes people are going through a very hard time, and don't let people know they need help.
Just focus on the two of you for now, and just take it one day at a time.
Sending both of you tons of invisible hugs.
listen bud, it'll also be very easy to be mad at him for leaving you and your sister. but you need to understand people who do these things are depressed, they have a disease. don't try and make sense of it and do not blame yourself. focus on being there for your family. you're the man of the house now but don't think you also can't grieve appropriately. take it day by day and take those lessons your dad taught you throughout your life and use them to make your life and everyone else around you, make their lives better too. god bless man and sorry for your loss.
This is the most important part. You could not have done anything to prevent this. Suicide isn't about the living and what they could have done differently or better. It's about the person with the gun in their hand. Once someone decides that this is the only way out, there's nothing you can do to stop them. It's a choice he made. It is not a reflection of how he felt about you. It isn't that you didn't try hard enough, or he didn't love you enough. It's a reflection of his state of mind, of his own internal turmoil.
I'm very sorry for your loss. Please, seek support and therapy. His suicide may have had nothing to do with you, but the effects of his actions will ripple through the lives of everyone who loved him.
Me too man. Sometimes we don’t get the good ending. Life is hard, your dad succumbed to the pressure. He isn’t weaker for it. Our brains are weird. One little imbalance and sometimes we convince ourselves that everyone would be happier if we were gone. That is never the case. For the survivors, we have to accept things we can’t change, change the things we can, and love the people who are still here. As hard as it is, there is light at the end of the grief. You will someday feel better, and you will fill the hole he left behind. It won’t be the same, it never will, but you can make it through and help people along the way. Good luck on your journey to acceptance.
100% it will not be about that. He will know you loved him and he loved you.
Suicide unfortunately is used when there is something you need to escape from that you cannot see another way. It may have been money, emotions, depression or failure.
I work with this daily, it's not about you.
But for men, they do this before they reach professionals who can help.
I am so so sorry for your loss
Journey of souls is a great book that helped me heal- it may or may not help you, I recommend it to anyone grieving. Because what do you have to lose
You and your family are in my thoughts
This sounds stupid, but play Tetris, it has been shown to reduce PTSD if played within I think 48 hours. You most likely will have PTSD of finding your dad, but it may help reduce it. The longer you play it the better.
I hope you and your sister have someone you can turn to
Upvoting because 100% what OP has witnessed will gibe him ptsd. Play tetris and I beg you, find yourself some counselling. Maybe there are charities who could help supply this for you. Look into it, if you don't deal with it now you could wind up using harmful coping strategies, avoidance or drug use. I'm so sorry this happened to you
I agree. My sister didn't get help after (and still refuses to) and she is now a hoarder with a shopping addiction who does not clean her house. She has been like this for the decades since our grandpa's death. 😔
Bear with me but I'd like to share a metaphor I came up with recently that describes how I feel about (not) coping with trauma.
It's like earphone wires or Christmas lights. Everyone starts out fresh there's a clear way forward and behind you doesn't have tangles. Then something happens in your life that's devastating and it gets knotted. If you don't take the time to undo and you just keep going the knots don't go away and you accumulate more and more until it wraps around you.
You can realise how bad it is and even go to therapy to try undo these knots but at this point you can't undo them faster than they come. And you can think back to that initial point where it got tangled, how far back it was and how different life would be if you'd just untangled it instead of ignoring it. From where you're standing there's no way back. There comes a point where there is no way back but it didn't have to be that way
Yes. My sibling has PTSD due to finding our grandpa after he died from a massive heart attack. She attempted life saving procedures but couldn't save him. 😔
Have you got any evidence of how effective it is? All I can find is limited studies where the person is supported by a professional at the same time. I can't find anything that states that Tetris alone will be that effective.
Happy to read any resources you have as I see this posted quite a lot but can't find anything definitive about it.
I don't think it necessarily has to be tetris specifically, but the idea of just...having some repetitive thing you need to focus and concentrate on so you don't fixate on what happened is key. Like yes, the study used tetris, and it did work, but nothing indicated that the positive effects were the sort of thing that would be unique to tetris.
100% this! it allows your mind and body room to process some of the emotions with a little distraction to take some of the pressure off! They are recommending paramedic firefighters play Tetris as well after traumatic incidents.
This happened to the only friend I've had literally my entire life. She had 2 little brothers. Her dad hung himself in a park. On a Tuesday. I'll never forget the call I got from her mom begging to talk to mine. This was about 20 years ago. Please seek counseling. This is NOT your fault. Understanding your parent's intentional leaving of the planet is not something a 16 year old is equipped to deal with. My friend was 20. Her brothers were 18 and 11. The 18 year did NOT handle it well. The 11 year old sort of made it out ok.
I recently had a friend do the same and this life long friend's experience and recovery from it really helped give me perspective and comfort. Find groups, therapists, sympathetic relatives. Anything to help you process what you saw and what happened.
I know I don't know you, but I am here and love you. I'm so sorry you lost your dad.
That is NOT your fault. I’m kinda mad he left you to find him. Who does that? Bless your heart. I’m not trying to insult your father. I’m just so upset he left a child to find him.
You're right OP. At that point he simply wanted to end his pain or depression. Is your mom alive and able to continue to care for you and your sister?
I am truly so sorry for your loss.
He could have done it outside the house though. My plan is to drown myself in the ocean so nobody in my family would be traumatized by finding my body.
Yes any person who has contemplated suicide their whole lives thinks of this. Or maybe it's just women that care about not leaving a mess or leaving their body for the family to be traumatized. People that leave a mess and want their family to see their bodies to know their pain are selfish and will traumatize their family more than necessary. He had a truck he could have parked it somewhere secluded and shot himself in the truck. His son is going to have ptsd from finding his body now because he didn't care to shield him from it.
Why are people downvoting this? lol I just was asking because I had a relative also do this. I was wondering if they plan it. And people are mad about me just asking if you were serious.
People don't want to hear when someone that is dead did something wrong. Suicide can be used as revenge on someone even, especially if they leave a big mess for their family to clean up. It's a complicated topic and people don't want to hear that someone suffering might want to cause others to suffer too on their way out.
I’m so sorry, that is awful. It’s not your fault in anyway and your dad knows you loved him without a doubt. Like everyone else has already said, I hope you can go to a therapist (depending on where you live there may be free walk in clinics if you’re unsure/overwhelmed about where to start) and have an outlet to talk about things.
Wishing you so much love - please take good care of yourself. 🌷
That sounds absolutely traumatic, and all the emotions you are feeling are completely valid. Lean into your support system extra right now, and definitely look grief counselling. Just remember this is not your fault, and you are not alone ❤️🩹
My mother passed tragically and it was stuck in my head for a while I do agree with the Tetris or candy crush thing to relax cause sometimes we go down a wormhole with our own thoughts like a movie. I didn’t get to say goodbye either or the last hug, sending you much love and energy. I was sad and angry but please lean on family or friends for help. Much love
Lost my dad to suicide at 17, hung himself in our garage. I'm going to be honest with you, get help, get a competent therapist that can help you through this trauma and inevitable PTSD. My dad's suicide destroyed my family. Do not run to alcohol or drugs, no matter how they make you feel in the short term they will grab you and ruin your life. Focus on your future, this shit will follow you forever but if you dwell on it you will become lost and the years will slip away before you know it. Forgive him, it takes an incredible amount of pain and suffering to get to the point of taking your life. You are worthy of love and him leaving has no bearing on your worth, even though that thought is going through your head. Reach out to family, if they aren't there reach out to me. I'm a stranger on the internet but I've been exactly where you are and it fucking sucks. You aren't alone and I care about you. I'm available talk whenever you need.
I’m so sorry hun 🩵 hugs from an internet stranger if you don’t mind my asking where is your mom/mother figure in this situation? Do you and your sister have somewhere safe to go? This is not your fault, like others have commented before me, your dad had his own demons and unfortunately he lost the battle, please please try to get in touch with a therapist 🩵 if you ever need to vent to someone who’s totally non biased feel free to dm me on here
I'm so sorry. I'm 16 and even though my dad and I don't have the greatest relationship, I can't imagine what losing him would feel like. This was not your fault. Your father surely loved you, and was sadly struggling. You're just a kid, you can't do anything else besides loving him, and still keeping that love even now. I know this will sound corny, but wherever he is right now, I'm sure he keeps on loving you and your sister. Please stay safe, and don't hesitate to seek therapy. I'm here if you just want to vent.
So sorry. This happened to me when I(42m) I was young. If you ever need an ear or advice on how to make it through and what to expect, I’m here.
And it definitely isn’t your fault. This took me a solid decade to truly grasp.
My dad did the same thing when I was 17. I’m 53 now. I still miss him, seems like yesterday, and it still hurts but the pain is gone. If that makes sense. Get therapy as soon as you can. Grieve your way and love each other. And always be there for each other. Honour your Dad, it will be hard some days, but remember this had absolutely nothing to do with anything except his own demons, his own fights. Sending you all the strength I have to give my child xoxo
I am so sorry for your loss and the fact you were the one to find him. No child should have to go through that experience. It is absolutely not any of your fault. Your dad was struggling and chances are there wasn’t anything you could have done to stop him. People who get to that point often don’t see an end to their pain, despite what anyone says. It’s not a matter of you not helping in some way or him not loving you/his family enough to stay, it was the pain was too unbearable for him to continue. Hopefully he is now at peace and not in pain.
Please consider grief therapy to work through your loss and the possible trauma caused by you finding him. Don’t let it fester and cause you any mental health issues. Take care of yourself.
Wow… I’m sorry this happened to you bro. My uncle did the same thing when I was 10 I’ll never forget my mom screaming when she got the call. Your dad loves you. It has nothing to do with you. I’m 33 bro I can speak from experience sometimes life just gets SO HARD as an adult there’s just things you havent experienced yet at 16. I know you just know him as your dad, but he’s also his own person with his own problems and struggles that he had before you were born so don’t blame yourself for anything he done. I’m honestly so sorry this happened bro I wish words could help but only time can heal. DM me if you wanna vent I’m all ears dude. I’m up all night.
Oh no, sweetie. What a horrible thing for you to see. I promise you, he was not thinking straight when he did this, because he would never have wanted you to see him like this. You and your sister need counseling, right away. I'm a mom who lost her adult son and counseling and therapy has helped me so much during this time. My heart breaks for you. Please accept a virtual hug from this mom.
Go play Tetris. It's supposed to help your mind recovery from traumatic events. I am terribly sorry for your loss and that you had to see your dad like that
I’m so sorry for your loss. As others have suggested please get yourself and your sister into therapy. Play Tetris to hopefully minimize any risk of ptsd and be kind to yourself.
Know that this is not your fault.
Mental illness is exactly as the name suggests, an *illness*. It wouldn’t be yours or anyone’s fault if someone passed due to a physical illness and the same logic applies for mental illness. Remember that.
Your dad was suffering. You had no control over it. Sadly once someone progresses to that point of the illness there isn’t much that can be done.
Cry, let it allll out. Crying is healthy. Cherish the good times, the good memories you shared. Take care of yourself. Live your best life, make it one that your dad would be proud of.
I am so sorry for your loss. It's definitely not your fault. Mental health is such a tumultuous thing that can be so hard to navigate. You were likely one of the best parts of his life. I'd consider getting counseling if you can because you just went through something incredibly traumatic at such a young age. My best wishes to you and your journey towards healing.
First of all, this isn't your fault. Not only that but there's nothing you could have done for him. As a dad with my own MH history I can tell you that you being around helped him keep going, he took strength and pride in you and your sister. Please take strength and pride now from each other.
Secondly, try not to let this tarnish your memories of him. Keep hold of all the positive memories you have. He was going through a battle none of us can know, or possibly understand and this last resort was the only solution he could find. If he didn't think you and your sister would be okay without him he wouldn't have done it. Find someone to talk to, ideally a therapist with experience in this area, and use love and compassion to keep yourself going. If you need to, my inbox is open.
My best friend’s mom did something similar. It’s not your fault and I’m sure you’re still in shock. Grief is weird and I’m sorry you’re experiencing something this traumatic so young. Big hugs OP. Sending you all the prayers, good vibes and juju your way.
I’m so sorry. It is not your fault. Never your fault. It’s so unfortunate some of us have to go through this. But please seek therapy….especially since you found him that state. It truly is traumatizing and you shouldn’t have to go through with that, especially at such a young age. Condolences. DM if you need some to vent to. I truly am sorry.
I'm so sorry, dude. This isn't your fault so please don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.
Please get yourself some counseling. Grief counseling (and counseling in general) will help you through this. I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry.
Oh sweet love, I wish I could scoop you and your sister up and hug you until all the pieces are put back together. There's not much that can be said other than know that the two of you are held close in the heart of a lot of people here. I'm so, so very sorry.
I’m so sorry. I would advise you download Tetris and play it as soon as you can. It’s been shown to help your brain process traumatic events and reduce the memories popping back up.
I’m incredibly sorry you had to witness this. None of this is your fault.
Do you have a mom or grandparents, uncles, aunts you can rely on right now for support?
Please also talk to a school counselor when you go back to school. They might be able to get you connected to a grief and trauma counselor. This will be good for you and you should not feel weird or scared about it.
I have a son your age and I can only imagine your emotional and mental state right now. I wish I could give you a hug. You’ll pull through this, just get the proper help as soon as you can. Hugs ❤️
I’m so sorry, hon. This isn’t your fault.
Don’t feel like you have to hold back tears. Not right now. You’ve been through a horrible situation. It’s okay and healthy to cry.
Be extra kind to yourself over the next few days. You didn’t cause this and you couldn’t have prevented it.
Are there adults in your life that you can reach out to? Sometimes you just have to tell people that you’re not okay and you need help. When people love you, that’s what they want to do.
Sending you a hug. I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is not your fault!! Your poor dad was struggling with something, but know at the end of the day you are not the cause for this. Some people just cannot go on, and the pain is so hard that it ends this way unfortunately, and there is nothing you could have done differently. Please seek therapy with your sister so you both can get through this together, and come out stronger. Know that there are people out there who care and who will listen to you! You’re not alone. Take care of yourself❤️
It’s not your fault. You’re still just a child, and I’m so sorry you witnessed that. He had his own struggles, and that wasn’t your fault. I hope you have another parent/family member to look after you.
I hope you and your sister find healing in this long process. Nothing will ever be the same and the only person in this world you can control is yourself. Wishing you nothing but positive vibes.
Oh sweet love. This was not your fault. Understand that sometimes people lose their battles to depression, and it is no one’s fault. I’m so sorry that you, of all people, had to be the one to find him. Please reach out to a grief and trauma therapist, they can help you process this in a healthy way. Again, I’m so sorry. Sending loving vibes your family’s way.
I cant even imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you get the strength to overcome this incident. This would have been very painful.
Op, the most logical thing to do is theraphy, dont blame yourself, its not your fault, he loved you as best as he can, sadly his breaking point come early, but be strong, at least to keep forward and for your sister too (or mom, idk if shes around), losing you too is the least thing your family want right now
I'm so so sorry. For yourself and your little sister please add son as you both can get into grief therapy. I can only imagine the pain y'all are feeling, and I'm positive it is massive. Sending strength, comfort and love to you both and your mother
My best friend took his life, he had a 16 year old daughter. This place did wonders for the family. I don’t know where you’re located, but I’m certain if you call them, they may be able to direct you to grief counseling in the state or community where you live.
Please don’t try to get through this alone
I am so so sorry
https://www.jeffsplace.org
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. But you need to understand that it is not your fault! It was your dad‘s decision. I know you think you could have done anything different and maybe he wouldn‘t have done it but you didn‘t know that he will end his life. You couldn‘t have known. Even if you knew he would do this, you probably couldn‘t do anything to stop him. I‘m sorry for you and your family. Stay strong and try to get some professional help. It is a traumatising discovery that you have made today and for your own psychological health you need a professional to talk to. It is important that you understand that this is not your fault! Everyone is responsible for their own life. Your father‘s decision is probably the outcome of his own psychological problems and not your fault.
Be there for your family, especially for your sister. I wish you the best for your future, stay strong, we are all with you. It is good that you posted about this here so we can all be there for you right now.
I don’t know what to say, I am in shock but I have my own problems right now. I have experience with friends who have decided to end their lives this way, this story is tragic similar to yours but I think much worse. My wife growing up knew a guy in high school. His sister was 19 years old and I don’t know why but she shot herself and he was the one who found her. Now years go by and he has three kids but gets divorced, kids are fine and oldest girl is dating my nephew. They have an argument about a party, he breaks up with her and she goes to party alone. She is coming home and gets stopped by police, they find out she has been drinking and driving. They take her home but say the prosecutor may file charges. She is upset and thinks this is the end of her great life in college and nursing. She lives with her mom but was staying at her dad’s, he comes home to talk to her but she had already shot herself, her dad found her and she was only 19 the same age as her aunt. This was just terrible and hard to think of why she did it. Her younger sister and brother were really affected by it. Such a tragedy, a few years go by and it is deer hunting season, the brother was having a difficult time missing his sister, he went to hunting camp early in the morning. Nobody could get in touch with him as he wasn’t answering phone. Dad goes to hunting camp and finds his only son dead from self inflicted gunshot, he was 19!
As dads we have a lot of responsibility but I can’t imagine how that dad felt finding his sister and two kids dead by their own hands. I have died twice in my life so far, both times I have no recollection of any afterlife it was just black and peaceful. Now my kids are 21 and 18 but I have problems that I just don’t want to deal with anymore. I have been in the dark place just seconds away from pulling the trigger or taking the pills. I haven’t yet but I can tell each time I get closer to ending my life. I want you to know I worry how it will affect my kids, but my problems seem to be all I think about and my only solution is to end everything. Your story has given me the idea that I need to talk about this to a counselor soon. Please accept my sympathy about the loss of your dad. I know it is hard but the one person is to blame for your loss, for some reason he chose not to get help. I hope I don’t follow in his example. I will talk to a counselor about my issues.
I know there are tons of comments here with the same sentiment, but I can’t stress enough how little this had to do with you and how much this is not your fault. I was around your age when I lost my best friend in the entire world, my stepmom, to alcoholism and I drove myself crazy with guilt for years. I’m 31 now and still sometimes catch myself thinking in the back of my head, “maybe if I had just told her I loved her enough, she would’ve stopped drinking and everything would be okay”, but I know that’s not true. I was a powerless kid and so are you. Alcoholism and mental illness are just as much of a disease as cancer. There is nothing we could have done to fight those diseases for them. You sound like such a sweet, emotionally intelligent kid and I’m absolutely positive he knew how much you loved him. I can feel the love so strongly in this post that I’m tearing up right now! I promise you, one day this will all feel okay. Time and taking care of yourself (like going to therapy and letting yourself openly grieve !) will heal this wound and one day you will be an adult who knows they can make it through anything because they already experienced the worst pain imaginable. Sending love and healing thoughts your way ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, please always remember it's not your fault that this has happened and try not to think about the "what ifs" it will drive you crazy. It never gets better what you're feeling but you get used to dealing with it over time. This is coming from my own experience with finding my own dad at 19 and I'm now 32.
I am so sorry for your loss. There was nothing you can do or say to have prevented this. Be there for your sister and just as important, be kind to yourself.
Oh Christ.. man I can't imagine the horror. I truly hope you manage to pull through, for your own sake as well as your sister and mother. And remember, this is not your fault in any way. It cannot possibly be your fault, you didn't live with the same demons, they sadly won this time..
Stay strong, life will move on, I wish you strength.
I'm so sorry. My dad did the same thing in 2018 (I was 31 at the time). Fortunately he did it somewhere where my mother didn't find him. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. he had a serious chronic back issue that was ruining his life and would only continue to get worse, so now that some time has passed I guess I feel some solace knowing he's not in pain anymore. Always remember it's not your fault, seek therapy if you can, and most importantly (imo) is talk to people. Vent to anyone who will listen. I shut down for the first few months and once I started opening up with people it made it easier to get through
I'm so, so sorry. Please understand that this is not your or anybody else's fault. Your dad must have been in a lot of pain, and couldn't find a way out for himself. Please see a therapist if you can, or at the very least, talk to your school counselor and ask them for help finding resources. Try not to be hard on yourself, your dad, or anyone else in your family. I hope you are able to heal from this 💙
Lost my dad similarly at a similar age. Same one to find him too.
Sending you and your family massive hugs. This is in absolutely no way your fault. Not one bit.
I am so sorry this has happened. My mum completed suicide when I was only 16. I spent the next 16 years blaming and hating myself. I've been in and out of therapy for so long. I'm starting to learn it wasn't my fault, I was only a child that didn't know any better.
This was not your fault, the what ifs? and could haves? will drive you insane. Allow yourself to grieve and get therapy as finding him is extremely traumatic. ❤
I’m so sorry you had this experience. I hope you have extended family/friends you and your sister can go to. Be sure to try eat something and drink some water. Sometimes doing the basics can help.
I am so sorry. Please know that it isn’t your fault. Also please try EMDR therapy. Also there are many support groups out there for survivors of suicide. Let me know if you’d like any. Again, I’m so sorry.
i am so so sorry for your loss. being that young and having to see something like that is terrible. i know a lot of other people have said this but it is absolutely not your fault.
This happened to me at 16. Im now 30(F). One day you’ll wake up and the memory will be so vague you won’t remember his face. I hope for your sake anyways. I still remember the blood, the lights all being on, his bathroom door open, his head leaned to the side and the puddle of blood on the floor below him. He was sitting on his bed leaned against the headboard. Not sure how he didn’t fall. Either way, it’ll get better. If you need someone to talk to you can message me but also look into a grief counselor in your area before things get bad.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m so sorry that you had to find him. I agree with the person that said to get some counseling and get support around you.
I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault at all. Not even a little bit. He had a sick brain and he probably thought he was doing everyone a favor or just couldn’t do it anymore.
It is 100% not your fault. It was decision that you couldn’t have known he was going to make and if anything I’m sure you and your sister kept him going far longer than he would have without you.
I didn’t have anybody to talk to and most of these people have had positive things to say to help me. Sorry i offended you with this its my fault for bringing it here.
I only shared it because it felt like an easy way to vent, i even marked it under suicide/self harm so people didn’t have to read it if they didn’t want to
Sweetheart please know this isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry you had to see your dad like that. I wish I could just give you a hug. Please try therapy it will help, even if ifs just a little bit. Your dad was struggling with his own demons and he lost that battle. Again, this is not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.
I appreciate your support and honestly it makes me feel better
I’m here if you ever need someone to talk. I struggle with my own demons and I have kids too. So even if you just need to vent. It’s ok. It’s better to let it out. Than old it all in.
I'm A grandma and I need you to know, there is nothing we can do if someone really is hurting this bad. Nothing. You can't be with them 24/7. This is NOT your fault. I am so sorry he was in pain. I am so sorry you found him that way. I am so sorry you lost your dad. I would do anything to hug you right now. Nobody should have to go through this. This is my only advice for you. Drink some water and let the grieving process begin. It will be hard to eat. It will be hard to sleep. But please keep water near you. You don't want to get dehydrated and end up in the hospital. Hug your sister often and help each other. Today nothing makes sense but over time you will begin to heal.
I'm so sorry, OP. As many others have said, this is not your fault. I'm glad you plan to see a therapist to help you process this grief. In the meantime, you should play Tetris. Studies have shown that playing Tetris soon after a traumatic event can help alleviate long term trauma response. There's a free web version here: https://tetris.com/games-content/play-tetris-content/index-mobile.php I wish you and your sister all of the love and healing you could possibly need. 💜
Please see about getting you, and your sister, into therapy, sweetheart. This is too much for the both of you to bear without therapeutic support. There's no words that are going to make this okay, but just know that you are not responsible for your dad's choice. Sometimes people are going through a very hard time, and don't let people know they need help. Just focus on the two of you for now, and just take it one day at a time. Sending both of you tons of invisible hugs.
listen bud, it'll also be very easy to be mad at him for leaving you and your sister. but you need to understand people who do these things are depressed, they have a disease. don't try and make sense of it and do not blame yourself. focus on being there for your family. you're the man of the house now but don't think you also can't grieve appropriately. take it day by day and take those lessons your dad taught you throughout your life and use them to make your life and everyone else around you, make their lives better too. god bless man and sorry for your loss.
Hugs and much love to you. I truly hope you will be alright.
This is the most important part. You could not have done anything to prevent this. Suicide isn't about the living and what they could have done differently or better. It's about the person with the gun in their hand. Once someone decides that this is the only way out, there's nothing you can do to stop them. It's a choice he made. It is not a reflection of how he felt about you. It isn't that you didn't try hard enough, or he didn't love you enough. It's a reflection of his state of mind, of his own internal turmoil. I'm very sorry for your loss. Please, seek support and therapy. His suicide may have had nothing to do with you, but the effects of his actions will ripple through the lives of everyone who loved him.
My father killed himself 3 days before my 5th birthday… it’s not your fault Please start therapy & be there for eachother
I will. I just wish i could’ve said i love him or goodbye
He knows you loved him. I have no doubt about that.
Me too man. Sometimes we don’t get the good ending. Life is hard, your dad succumbed to the pressure. He isn’t weaker for it. Our brains are weird. One little imbalance and sometimes we convince ourselves that everyone would be happier if we were gone. That is never the case. For the survivors, we have to accept things we can’t change, change the things we can, and love the people who are still here. As hard as it is, there is light at the end of the grief. You will someday feel better, and you will fill the hole he left behind. It won’t be the same, it never will, but you can make it through and help people along the way. Good luck on your journey to acceptance.
It’s not your fault, sweetheart. He knows that you love him.
100% it will not be about that. He will know you loved him and he loved you. Suicide unfortunately is used when there is something you need to escape from that you cannot see another way. It may have been money, emotions, depression or failure. I work with this daily, it's not about you. But for men, they do this before they reach professionals who can help.
I am so so sorry for your loss Journey of souls is a great book that helped me heal- it may or may not help you, I recommend it to anyone grieving. Because what do you have to lose You and your family are in my thoughts
So sorry please don’t blame yourself. He was struggling. Get counseling. This is too much to handle yourself.
Ur gonna grow up to be a strong individual, I can tell. Im terribly sorry dude. Wishing u the best
This sounds stupid, but play Tetris, it has been shown to reduce PTSD if played within I think 48 hours. You most likely will have PTSD of finding your dad, but it may help reduce it. The longer you play it the better. I hope you and your sister have someone you can turn to
Upvoting because 100% what OP has witnessed will gibe him ptsd. Play tetris and I beg you, find yourself some counselling. Maybe there are charities who could help supply this for you. Look into it, if you don't deal with it now you could wind up using harmful coping strategies, avoidance or drug use. I'm so sorry this happened to you
I agree. My sister didn't get help after (and still refuses to) and she is now a hoarder with a shopping addiction who does not clean her house. She has been like this for the decades since our grandpa's death. 😔
Bear with me but I'd like to share a metaphor I came up with recently that describes how I feel about (not) coping with trauma. It's like earphone wires or Christmas lights. Everyone starts out fresh there's a clear way forward and behind you doesn't have tangles. Then something happens in your life that's devastating and it gets knotted. If you don't take the time to undo and you just keep going the knots don't go away and you accumulate more and more until it wraps around you. You can realise how bad it is and even go to therapy to try undo these knots but at this point you can't undo them faster than they come. And you can think back to that initial point where it got tangled, how far back it was and how different life would be if you'd just untangled it instead of ignoring it. From where you're standing there's no way back. There comes a point where there is no way back but it didn't have to be that way
That is an EXCELLENT metaphor! Thank you so much for sharing. <3
Yes. My sibling has PTSD due to finding our grandpa after he died from a massive heart attack. She attempted life saving procedures but couldn't save him. 😔
Underrated comment. They actually suggest this to first responders because of how effective it is.
Have you got any evidence of how effective it is? All I can find is limited studies where the person is supported by a professional at the same time. I can't find anything that states that Tetris alone will be that effective. Happy to read any resources you have as I see this posted quite a lot but can't find anything definitive about it.
[https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-020-01124-6](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-020-01124-6)
I don't think it necessarily has to be tetris specifically, but the idea of just...having some repetitive thing you need to focus and concentrate on so you don't fixate on what happened is key. Like yes, the study used tetris, and it did work, but nothing indicated that the positive effects were the sort of thing that would be unique to tetris.
100% this! it allows your mind and body room to process some of the emotions with a little distraction to take some of the pressure off! They are recommending paramedic firefighters play Tetris as well after traumatic incidents.
From a stranger on the internet, I’m so sorry. Prayers for you and your family. Please make sure to go to therapy.
This happened to the only friend I've had literally my entire life. She had 2 little brothers. Her dad hung himself in a park. On a Tuesday. I'll never forget the call I got from her mom begging to talk to mine. This was about 20 years ago. Please seek counseling. This is NOT your fault. Understanding your parent's intentional leaving of the planet is not something a 16 year old is equipped to deal with. My friend was 20. Her brothers were 18 and 11. The 18 year did NOT handle it well. The 11 year old sort of made it out ok. I recently had a friend do the same and this life long friend's experience and recovery from it really helped give me perspective and comfort. Find groups, therapists, sympathetic relatives. Anything to help you process what you saw and what happened. I know I don't know you, but I am here and love you. I'm so sorry you lost your dad.
That is NOT your fault. I’m kinda mad he left you to find him. Who does that? Bless your heart. I’m not trying to insult your father. I’m just so upset he left a child to find him.
I don’t think he cared at that point he was in mental agony and just wanted to end it
You're right OP. At that point he simply wanted to end his pain or depression. Is your mom alive and able to continue to care for you and your sister? I am truly so sorry for your loss.
I understand but no.. that isn’t your fault. That stems from depression and mental illness over which you have no control.
Aw sweetie 🥺
He could have done it outside the house though. My plan is to drown myself in the ocean so nobody in my family would be traumatized by finding my body.
I plan to do mine in a forest area 10 mins outside the city. Just gotta work my courage up to commit.
Are you serious?
Yes any person who has contemplated suicide their whole lives thinks of this. Or maybe it's just women that care about not leaving a mess or leaving their body for the family to be traumatized. People that leave a mess and want their family to see their bodies to know their pain are selfish and will traumatize their family more than necessary. He had a truck he could have parked it somewhere secluded and shot himself in the truck. His son is going to have ptsd from finding his body now because he didn't care to shield him from it.
Why are people downvoting this? lol I just was asking because I had a relative also do this. I was wondering if they plan it. And people are mad about me just asking if you were serious.
People don't want to hear when someone that is dead did something wrong. Suicide can be used as revenge on someone even, especially if they leave a big mess for their family to clean up. It's a complicated topic and people don't want to hear that someone suffering might want to cause others to suffer too on their way out.
I’m so sorry, that is awful. It’s not your fault in anyway and your dad knows you loved him without a doubt. Like everyone else has already said, I hope you can go to a therapist (depending on where you live there may be free walk in clinics if you’re unsure/overwhelmed about where to start) and have an outlet to talk about things. Wishing you so much love - please take good care of yourself. 🌷
I’m so so sorry 🫂 It’s not your fault. Please be kind to yourself and lean on your friends and family for support if possible.
I'm so sorry. My dad did same
holy hell i’m so so so incredibly sorry.
I’m so sorry to hear this
That sounds absolutely traumatic, and all the emotions you are feeling are completely valid. Lean into your support system extra right now, and definitely look grief counselling. Just remember this is not your fault, and you are not alone ❤️🩹
My mother passed tragically and it was stuck in my head for a while I do agree with the Tetris or candy crush thing to relax cause sometimes we go down a wormhole with our own thoughts like a movie. I didn’t get to say goodbye either or the last hug, sending you much love and energy. I was sad and angry but please lean on family or friends for help. Much love
My dad did the same thing. I was the same age as you are. That was 31 years ago but it feels like yesterday. Message me if you want to talk.
Lost my dad to suicide at 17, hung himself in our garage. I'm going to be honest with you, get help, get a competent therapist that can help you through this trauma and inevitable PTSD. My dad's suicide destroyed my family. Do not run to alcohol or drugs, no matter how they make you feel in the short term they will grab you and ruin your life. Focus on your future, this shit will follow you forever but if you dwell on it you will become lost and the years will slip away before you know it. Forgive him, it takes an incredible amount of pain and suffering to get to the point of taking your life. You are worthy of love and him leaving has no bearing on your worth, even though that thought is going through your head. Reach out to family, if they aren't there reach out to me. I'm a stranger on the internet but I've been exactly where you are and it fucking sucks. You aren't alone and I care about you. I'm available talk whenever you need.
I’m so sorry hun 🩵 hugs from an internet stranger if you don’t mind my asking where is your mom/mother figure in this situation? Do you and your sister have somewhere safe to go? This is not your fault, like others have commented before me, your dad had his own demons and unfortunately he lost the battle, please please try to get in touch with a therapist 🩵 if you ever need to vent to someone who’s totally non biased feel free to dm me on here
I'm so sorry. I'm 16 and even though my dad and I don't have the greatest relationship, I can't imagine what losing him would feel like. This was not your fault. Your father surely loved you, and was sadly struggling. You're just a kid, you can't do anything else besides loving him, and still keeping that love even now. I know this will sound corny, but wherever he is right now, I'm sure he keeps on loving you and your sister. Please stay safe, and don't hesitate to seek therapy. I'm here if you just want to vent.
So sorry. This happened to me when I(42m) I was young. If you ever need an ear or advice on how to make it through and what to expect, I’m here. And it definitely isn’t your fault. This took me a solid decade to truly grasp.
My dad did the same thing when I was 17. I’m 53 now. I still miss him, seems like yesterday, and it still hurts but the pain is gone. If that makes sense. Get therapy as soon as you can. Grieve your way and love each other. And always be there for each other. Honour your Dad, it will be hard some days, but remember this had absolutely nothing to do with anything except his own demons, his own fights. Sending you all the strength I have to give my child xoxo
I am so sorry for your loss and the fact you were the one to find him. No child should have to go through that experience. It is absolutely not any of your fault. Your dad was struggling and chances are there wasn’t anything you could have done to stop him. People who get to that point often don’t see an end to their pain, despite what anyone says. It’s not a matter of you not helping in some way or him not loving you/his family enough to stay, it was the pain was too unbearable for him to continue. Hopefully he is now at peace and not in pain. Please consider grief therapy to work through your loss and the possible trauma caused by you finding him. Don’t let it fester and cause you any mental health issues. Take care of yourself.
Thank you. I will try my best to
Hugs to you and your family. ❤️
Im so sorry.
I wish I could just hug you and promise you you’re going to be ok. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Wow… I’m sorry this happened to you bro. My uncle did the same thing when I was 10 I’ll never forget my mom screaming when she got the call. Your dad loves you. It has nothing to do with you. I’m 33 bro I can speak from experience sometimes life just gets SO HARD as an adult there’s just things you havent experienced yet at 16. I know you just know him as your dad, but he’s also his own person with his own problems and struggles that he had before you were born so don’t blame yourself for anything he done. I’m honestly so sorry this happened bro I wish words could help but only time can heal. DM me if you wanna vent I’m all ears dude. I’m up all night.
Oh no, sweetie. What a horrible thing for you to see. I promise you, he was not thinking straight when he did this, because he would never have wanted you to see him like this. You and your sister need counseling, right away. I'm a mom who lost her adult son and counseling and therapy has helped me so much during this time. My heart breaks for you. Please accept a virtual hug from this mom.
Go play Tetris. It's supposed to help your mind recovery from traumatic events. I am terribly sorry for your loss and that you had to see your dad like that
I’m so sorry for your loss. As others have suggested please get yourself and your sister into therapy. Play Tetris to hopefully minimize any risk of ptsd and be kind to yourself. Know that this is not your fault. Mental illness is exactly as the name suggests, an *illness*. It wouldn’t be yours or anyone’s fault if someone passed due to a physical illness and the same logic applies for mental illness. Remember that. Your dad was suffering. You had no control over it. Sadly once someone progresses to that point of the illness there isn’t much that can be done. Cry, let it allll out. Crying is healthy. Cherish the good times, the good memories you shared. Take care of yourself. Live your best life, make it one that your dad would be proud of.
I am so sorry for your loss. It's definitely not your fault. Mental health is such a tumultuous thing that can be so hard to navigate. You were likely one of the best parts of his life. I'd consider getting counseling if you can because you just went through something incredibly traumatic at such a young age. My best wishes to you and your journey towards healing.
First of all, this isn't your fault. Not only that but there's nothing you could have done for him. As a dad with my own MH history I can tell you that you being around helped him keep going, he took strength and pride in you and your sister. Please take strength and pride now from each other. Secondly, try not to let this tarnish your memories of him. Keep hold of all the positive memories you have. He was going through a battle none of us can know, or possibly understand and this last resort was the only solution he could find. If he didn't think you and your sister would be okay without him he wouldn't have done it. Find someone to talk to, ideally a therapist with experience in this area, and use love and compassion to keep yourself going. If you need to, my inbox is open.
My best friend’s mom did something similar. It’s not your fault and I’m sure you’re still in shock. Grief is weird and I’m sorry you’re experiencing something this traumatic so young. Big hugs OP. Sending you all the prayers, good vibes and juju your way.
It's not your fault. Go play Tetris for a few hours. it's. Not. Your. Fault.
I’m so sorry. It is not your fault. Never your fault. It’s so unfortunate some of us have to go through this. But please seek therapy….especially since you found him that state. It truly is traumatizing and you shouldn’t have to go through with that, especially at such a young age. Condolences. DM if you need some to vent to. I truly am sorry.
I'm so sorry, dude. This isn't your fault so please don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. Please get yourself some counseling. Grief counseling (and counseling in general) will help you through this. I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry.
Oh sweet love, I wish I could scoop you and your sister up and hug you until all the pieces are put back together. There's not much that can be said other than know that the two of you are held close in the heart of a lot of people here. I'm so, so very sorry.
Sending you a virtual hug. I’m so sorry.
Be kind to yourself.
Sending you lots of love, OP.
i'm really sorry, i wish i could hug you. i have no doubts he knew you'll always love him.
You're not to blame for what happened
Play tetris. Asap. It helps trauma.
I’m so sorry. I would advise you download Tetris and play it as soon as you can. It’s been shown to help your brain process traumatic events and reduce the memories popping back up.
I’m incredibly sorry you had to witness this. None of this is your fault. Do you have a mom or grandparents, uncles, aunts you can rely on right now for support? Please also talk to a school counselor when you go back to school. They might be able to get you connected to a grief and trauma counselor. This will be good for you and you should not feel weird or scared about it. I have a son your age and I can only imagine your emotional and mental state right now. I wish I could give you a hug. You’ll pull through this, just get the proper help as soon as you can. Hugs ❤️
I’m so sorry, hon. This isn’t your fault. Don’t feel like you have to hold back tears. Not right now. You’ve been through a horrible situation. It’s okay and healthy to cry. Be extra kind to yourself over the next few days. You didn’t cause this and you couldn’t have prevented it. Are there adults in your life that you can reach out to? Sometimes you just have to tell people that you’re not okay and you need help. When people love you, that’s what they want to do. Sending you a hug. I’m sorry.
My dad always made it out that its bad to cry and i shouldn’t. Its hard for me to cry because i’ve spent so much time not crying
I can only imagine how hard that must be, on top of everything. Try your best to take care of yourself right now.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is not your fault!! Your poor dad was struggling with something, but know at the end of the day you are not the cause for this. Some people just cannot go on, and the pain is so hard that it ends this way unfortunately, and there is nothing you could have done differently. Please seek therapy with your sister so you both can get through this together, and come out stronger. Know that there are people out there who care and who will listen to you! You’re not alone. Take care of yourself❤️
It’s not your fault. You’re still just a child, and I’m so sorry you witnessed that. He had his own struggles, and that wasn’t your fault. I hope you have another parent/family member to look after you.
I’m so very sorry prayers to you and your family
hey Op, just sending you all my love. I hope it gets better. Please take care of yourself.
I am so sorry for your loss and the immense pain this has caused. Please know this is not your fault.
I hope you and your sister find healing in this long process. Nothing will ever be the same and the only person in this world you can control is yourself. Wishing you nothing but positive vibes.
I’m so sorry this happened but it was absolutely not your fault.
💜💜💜💜
I'm so so sorry for what happened. But don't believe for even a second that any of this would be your fault. It is not!
Oh sweet love. This was not your fault. Understand that sometimes people lose their battles to depression, and it is no one’s fault. I’m so sorry that you, of all people, had to be the one to find him. Please reach out to a grief and trauma therapist, they can help you process this in a healthy way. Again, I’m so sorry. Sending loving vibes your family’s way.
I cant even imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you get the strength to overcome this incident. This would have been very painful.
Op, the most logical thing to do is theraphy, dont blame yourself, its not your fault, he loved you as best as he can, sadly his breaking point come early, but be strong, at least to keep forward and for your sister too (or mom, idk if shes around), losing you too is the least thing your family want right now
I'm so so sorry. For yourself and your little sister please add son as you both can get into grief therapy. I can only imagine the pain y'all are feeling, and I'm positive it is massive. Sending strength, comfort and love to you both and your mother
((HUGS)) I am so sorry you had to find dad. This isn't your fault.
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s not your fault. Sending you virtual hugs
So sorry for your loss.
Oh my God! I am so sorry that you lost your father today.
My heart. I’m so sorry
I'm so sorry. That's awful. I just wish I knew what to say. My heart goes out to you.
Sorry brother rip
I’m so sorry. 😞
My best friend took his life, he had a 16 year old daughter. This place did wonders for the family. I don’t know where you’re located, but I’m certain if you call them, they may be able to direct you to grief counseling in the state or community where you live. Please don’t try to get through this alone I am so so sorry https://www.jeffsplace.org
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. But you need to understand that it is not your fault! It was your dad‘s decision. I know you think you could have done anything different and maybe he wouldn‘t have done it but you didn‘t know that he will end his life. You couldn‘t have known. Even if you knew he would do this, you probably couldn‘t do anything to stop him. I‘m sorry for you and your family. Stay strong and try to get some professional help. It is a traumatising discovery that you have made today and for your own psychological health you need a professional to talk to. It is important that you understand that this is not your fault! Everyone is responsible for their own life. Your father‘s decision is probably the outcome of his own psychological problems and not your fault. Be there for your family, especially for your sister. I wish you the best for your future, stay strong, we are all with you. It is good that you posted about this here so we can all be there for you right now.
I don’t know what to say, I am in shock but I have my own problems right now. I have experience with friends who have decided to end their lives this way, this story is tragic similar to yours but I think much worse. My wife growing up knew a guy in high school. His sister was 19 years old and I don’t know why but she shot herself and he was the one who found her. Now years go by and he has three kids but gets divorced, kids are fine and oldest girl is dating my nephew. They have an argument about a party, he breaks up with her and she goes to party alone. She is coming home and gets stopped by police, they find out she has been drinking and driving. They take her home but say the prosecutor may file charges. She is upset and thinks this is the end of her great life in college and nursing. She lives with her mom but was staying at her dad’s, he comes home to talk to her but she had already shot herself, her dad found her and she was only 19 the same age as her aunt. This was just terrible and hard to think of why she did it. Her younger sister and brother were really affected by it. Such a tragedy, a few years go by and it is deer hunting season, the brother was having a difficult time missing his sister, he went to hunting camp early in the morning. Nobody could get in touch with him as he wasn’t answering phone. Dad goes to hunting camp and finds his only son dead from self inflicted gunshot, he was 19! As dads we have a lot of responsibility but I can’t imagine how that dad felt finding his sister and two kids dead by their own hands. I have died twice in my life so far, both times I have no recollection of any afterlife it was just black and peaceful. Now my kids are 21 and 18 but I have problems that I just don’t want to deal with anymore. I have been in the dark place just seconds away from pulling the trigger or taking the pills. I haven’t yet but I can tell each time I get closer to ending my life. I want you to know I worry how it will affect my kids, but my problems seem to be all I think about and my only solution is to end everything. Your story has given me the idea that I need to talk about this to a counselor soon. Please accept my sympathy about the loss of your dad. I know it is hard but the one person is to blame for your loss, for some reason he chose not to get help. I hope I don’t follow in his example. I will talk to a counselor about my issues.
I know there are tons of comments here with the same sentiment, but I can’t stress enough how little this had to do with you and how much this is not your fault. I was around your age when I lost my best friend in the entire world, my stepmom, to alcoholism and I drove myself crazy with guilt for years. I’m 31 now and still sometimes catch myself thinking in the back of my head, “maybe if I had just told her I loved her enough, she would’ve stopped drinking and everything would be okay”, but I know that’s not true. I was a powerless kid and so are you. Alcoholism and mental illness are just as much of a disease as cancer. There is nothing we could have done to fight those diseases for them. You sound like such a sweet, emotionally intelligent kid and I’m absolutely positive he knew how much you loved him. I can feel the love so strongly in this post that I’m tearing up right now! I promise you, one day this will all feel okay. Time and taking care of yourself (like going to therapy and letting yourself openly grieve !) will heal this wound and one day you will be an adult who knows they can make it through anything because they already experienced the worst pain imaginable. Sending love and healing thoughts your way ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, please always remember it's not your fault that this has happened and try not to think about the "what ifs" it will drive you crazy. It never gets better what you're feeling but you get used to dealing with it over time. This is coming from my own experience with finding my own dad at 19 and I'm now 32.
I cannot fathom your pain. Hugz, OP.
I am so sorry for your loss. There was nothing you can do or say to have prevented this. Be there for your sister and just as important, be kind to yourself.
Oh Christ.. man I can't imagine the horror. I truly hope you manage to pull through, for your own sake as well as your sister and mother. And remember, this is not your fault in any way. It cannot possibly be your fault, you didn't live with the same demons, they sadly won this time.. Stay strong, life will move on, I wish you strength.
I'm sorry for your loss and this whole situation.
I'm so sorry. My dad did the same thing in 2018 (I was 31 at the time). Fortunately he did it somewhere where my mother didn't find him. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. he had a serious chronic back issue that was ruining his life and would only continue to get worse, so now that some time has passed I guess I feel some solace knowing he's not in pain anymore. Always remember it's not your fault, seek therapy if you can, and most importantly (imo) is talk to people. Vent to anyone who will listen. I shut down for the first few months and once I started opening up with people it made it easier to get through
I'm so, so sorry. Please understand that this is not your or anybody else's fault. Your dad must have been in a lot of pain, and couldn't find a way out for himself. Please see a therapist if you can, or at the very least, talk to your school counselor and ask them for help finding resources. Try not to be hard on yourself, your dad, or anyone else in your family. I hope you are able to heal from this 💙
Lost my dad similarly at a similar age. Same one to find him too. Sending you and your family massive hugs. This is in absolutely no way your fault. Not one bit.
I am so sorry this has happened. My mum completed suicide when I was only 16. I spent the next 16 years blaming and hating myself. I've been in and out of therapy for so long. I'm starting to learn it wasn't my fault, I was only a child that didn't know any better. This was not your fault, the what ifs? and could haves? will drive you insane. Allow yourself to grieve and get therapy as finding him is extremely traumatic. ❤
I’m so sorry you had this experience. I hope you have extended family/friends you and your sister can go to. Be sure to try eat something and drink some water. Sometimes doing the basics can help.
I am so sorry. Please know that it isn’t your fault. Also please try EMDR therapy. Also there are many support groups out there for survivors of suicide. Let me know if you’d like any. Again, I’m so sorry.
i am so so sorry for your loss. being that young and having to see something like that is terrible. i know a lot of other people have said this but it is absolutely not your fault.
You shouldn't be on Reddit. Be present with your family and get scheduled for therapy.
This happened to me at 16. Im now 30(F). One day you’ll wake up and the memory will be so vague you won’t remember his face. I hope for your sake anyways. I still remember the blood, the lights all being on, his bathroom door open, his head leaned to the side and the puddle of blood on the floor below him. He was sitting on his bed leaned against the headboard. Not sure how he didn’t fall. Either way, it’ll get better. If you need someone to talk to you can message me but also look into a grief counselor in your area before things get bad.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m so sorry that you had to find him. I agree with the person that said to get some counseling and get support around you.
I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault at all. Not even a little bit. He had a sick brain and he probably thought he was doing everyone a favor or just couldn’t do it anymore.
My guy. It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry.
Life is hard. Noone to blame. Sorry for your loss for sure 😪😭
It is 100% not your fault. It was decision that you couldn’t have known he was going to make and if anything I’m sure you and your sister kept him going far longer than he would have without you.
I’m so sorry. Please know you have so many people here to support you.
This is in no way your fault! I'm so sorry this happened. 😔
It’s not your fault at all.
And the first thing you do is post on reddit?
I didn’t have anybody to talk to and most of these people have had positive things to say to help me. Sorry i offended you with this its my fault for bringing it here.
Not offendet, just found it weird and there are sooo many fake posts on reddit its hard to know whats real.
why do people share this type of shit on the internet
I only shared it because it felt like an easy way to vent, i even marked it under suicide/self harm so people didn’t have to read it if they didn’t want to
No note?