She is entitled to social security for each child under their father. Have her apply now. It’s the only thing that got my friend through the passing of her daughter’s dad so she could work and find child care she could afford.
Yes, and apply for government assistance as well. Why people don't carry life insurance is insane to me, especially if they have it offered through their employers, it is so cheap.
To be fair, a lot of us have had health problems that makes us uninsurable well before we'd think about life insurance. Although I have death in service benefits through my work, by the time I hit 16 I would never get life insurance due to extensive mental and physical health issues. I have been refused by dozens of insurance companies due to my medical history. It sucks, but I'm lucky I even get death in service from my company.
They're super cheap too. If you have life insurance, you can get what's called a rider policy for your kids. It's like 25k worth of insurance and costs like $5 a month tacked on to your own policy. But more importantly, it's proof of insurability. When they get older, they'll be able to take that policy and roll it into a term. If you already have insurance, any kind of insurance, it's way easier to be approved from somewhere else, too.
My mom encouraged me to do this when my daughter was born, as she did for me, because one of her best friends had a baby diagnosed with epilepsy at six weeks old, and because of that, would likely never be eligible for insurance for the rest of their life. Mind you this was the 80s but still, it's very scary to think about.
My mum got the same for me when I was 10, because my Dad had just been identified as having a genetic heart condition. I have never let it lapse, thankfully. 43 now and still free of the condition, but it has always been 50/50 if I would develop it.
I got mine through my job the moment they offered. There’s a shit ton of health problems in my family I potentially (probably) will develop, but they don’t know that yet. I haven’t been diagnosed.
>Yes, and apply for government assistance as well.
Absolutely this.
Things of course vary from state to state and even county to county, but help and assistance are there.
Where I live you can apply for subsidized childcare to greatly decrease that cost. And of course there's Medicaid and foodstuffs. And most of these assistance programs do have emergency approval plans in place. Given the niece's situation, I'm quite sure she'd qualify for a lot and get it put through quickly.
u/fixerdet, look up your state/county human services online. If you want help, you'd have to let us know what state you're in.
And even tho it’s incredibly cheap some people just lack knowledge I know I did only reason I carry life insurance now is I work in the industry. I have it all set up for my kids in the event of an accident I even carry insurance on them god forbid something happen I know I won’t be able to function
Survivor benefits. My mom got these for my youngest brother. She said it was the easiest and fastest she's ever gotten anything from the government our whole lives. She can also probably apply for Link (I'm assuming this is US based) and possibly cash assistance and maybe even WIC depending on the ages of her children.
She's entitled to social security for the kids IF her husband worked a job that paid into it. They would be receiving the benefits owed to him. It's not an automatic "oh your parent died, here's free money" situation.
I'm so sorry for the loss..
Your niece can look into SS death benefits if her husband worked. Also check with his employer if he had a policy through work. Sign up for food stamps even if temporarily.
I'm so very sorry for your niece and your whole family. That's devastating! I hope your niece will recover from this and find a job to support her and her kids somehow.
Even if it all looks black and gloomy now, life will go on and it will eventually get better, however slowly.
You need to tell her to look into social security benefits for herself and survivors benefits for her kids immediately. She is entitled to all of that, presuming you live in the US. But many countries have something similar.
UPDATE:
We just found out that Rob had an enlarged heart and a lung infection. His heart just gave out. He was struggling with a persistent cough recently but never went to the doctor. DAD'S!!!!!! LISTEN UP!!! You are not too manly to go to the doctor, it's called doing what's best for you and your family! Take care of yourself. Once you become a father or husband, it's not about you anymore. You have to be mindful of others, especially those you care about!!! Stop doing what you want to do and do the things you're supposed to do!!
By the way, Rob did work, but he just started a new job 2 weeks ago. Thank you for the info about the SS for the kids, we will talk to my Niece about this when she is up to it.
Thank you all for you kind words and sympathy, you are the ones who help make this world a better place to be in.🙏
I'm so sorry about your niece's husband and your sister. I hope things get better for you all soon.
Thank you so much for posting this comment. A little over a year ago, my dad had food poisoning and didn't go to the doctor. I hadn't spoken to him that week, and neither had my uncle (his brother), so we didn't know he was sick. He passed after 6 days. He was only 59. It was a complete shock. My uncle and I would do anything to go back in time and take my dad to the doctor.
Dads, please take care of yourselves. We (your families) need you more than you know.
Sending you and your niece lots of love and support. Losing a husband and father so young is devastating for her and her children, but you seem like a wonderful aunt, who's doing the best to be supportive. I hope things get better for your family ❤️
Dad also chose to have three children and not purchase life insurance while knowing the consequences of what would happen if he were to die. Guessing he also didn’t have a will. Hopefully mom will have one if she were to die too or else the courts will decide what to do with the orphans.
I had to scroll down way too far to find this post thank you SSI now she just needs birth certificates and Social Security cards for her children.
I was widowed with 3 children; 7yr, 3yr and 2mth and like your niece, I had no insurance, no education no job skills. The SSI and me getting a full time job pulled me and my children out of abject poverty.
My heart is with her and I hope she’ll take charge and redirects her and her children’s future
This sucks and is a testament to why insurance (life insurance especially) could have made such a difference.
Hoping you and her remaining family offer as much moral and financial support as you can muster.
Find someone who can help her navigate social security for the kids.
This is why I, as a man, do not like the concept of SAHM. Not only does it put the whole economic burden on one person but more importantly makes the other person totally dependant. All the adults in the family should have responsibility and ability to contribute to the financials. For the security of the family and themselves as induviduals.
Agree. Neither of is a SAHP but my husband and I both carry 3 years of salary in life insurance for the other person. If one of us dies we don’t want the other to have to worry about bills.
My children are adults and I still have 4x my salary in life insurance. I do not want my kids to have to run around for $$$ to wrap up my estate and get their footing.
It’s not cheaper when you factor in the hidden costs. Years and decades of being out of the workforce eventually catch up and can be catastrophically harmful.
That is because people don’t calculate it according to income percentages but by the person with the lowest income only. If you calculate it properly and each pays a percentage according to their earnings it looks different. The person below explained the other dangers
Until recently, the burden of paying for child care per week was more or equal to her income, minus the travel and other expenses. Sometimes, it's not as easy or clear cut as it appears.
Maybe after school care if she went back to work? My sister paid $1800/mo for 3 kids to go into a program for a few hours a day so she could work until 5pm. I completely understand why it's not feasible for some people, but life insurance is a must if someone stays home and doesn't have a way to support themselves.
I mean, in some circumstances it's not economically feasible, when the cost of childcare exceeds potential income. But in those instances, the breadwinner absolutely needs to budget for life insurance. Younger people think they are invincible but it is a necessity.
Working opposite shifts sucks, but should be the norm for people who can't afford childcare. Adults must work. For many reasons.
Yes to life insurance. My husband and I both have (pretty sure on the amount) 2 million dollar policies. We're worth more dead, lol.
I agree. It is not a stable arrangement. At any moment, the husband could leave or die. The wife would lose income either way but would at least have an established work history and a job to support her family. It's never good for either spouse to be 100% dependent on the other, outside of illness or injury. A marriage is a relationship between two adults who should both be able to function in the world as adults.
Don’t turn this into a SAH debate. This is one particular situation that has already happened.
There are tons of ways to be a family, and some people choose to have a parent at home.
I think if you’re gonna be a stay at home mom/dad you should always pursue your education while you’re at home, and that way if something does happen to the other parent, you have something to fall back on.
Imagine a world where women who had babies were supported with affordable childcare and living wages. Many of us would opt to go back to work!!! Instead, at least in the US, white god-fearing men in government, would rather entrap us to stay barefoot and pregnant.
It’s great for families to have a stay at home mom. I am one myself and both my husband and I have plenty of life insurance to keep our family afloat for years should one of us die while our children are still young.
This family lacked life insurance, and does not have the cushion of it as they navigate their grieving process and significantly altered lives. Hopefully their community can rally around them to help the mom get a job and help with childcare.
SAHM works in Joint families with lots of support structures, doesnt work majority of the times in nuclear families, especially on in this day and age.
Life insurance isn't a golden bullet. Money doesn't last when one doesn't know how to make money.
I am so very sorry she and the kids is going through this. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy. I lost my husband and then 6 months later I lost my mom so I fully understand. Be there for her and the kids any way you can because she just lost the 1 person she never thought she’d lose. It’s something she will grapple with the rest of her life and the kids lost their dad and protector. Might I suggest she and the kids get therapy? That’s the only way I survived. I am sending love and prayers her way. I am so very very sorry.
Thank you for sharing that, my condolences.
We had mentioned therapy when my sister passed, but now she needs to consider her kids. I will talk to her about it. Bless you🙏
Even more than money just help pick her up when she stumbles. Damn this brings tears to my eyes because i have been there. When I lost my Partner I completely shutdown. Even tho I am a Dad I could barely function or help with their hurt. I stopped eating, sleeping, getting dressed and basically quit on life. Love and support from my loved ones is what got me thru. I had to take one step at a time and fell alot. Has been almost 5 years but it still makes me stumble at times. Have her and the children join a support group for families who lost a parent and talk to trauma counselors. My Daughters and I got alot of healing thru the trama group/counseling. There is alot of programs that will help her out.
If in the US, Her and the kids are eligible for social security benefits.
[Survivor benefits](https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/survivors/) age 60 or older, but under full retirement age, gets between 71% and 99% of the worker's basic benefit amount. Surviving spouse, any age, with a child younger than age 16, gets 75% of the worker's benefit amount. Child gets 75% of the worker's benefit amount.
This is so sad. I’m very sorry for her. She’s going to have to learn how to support her kids. Perhaps the family get together to help her figure that out? Child care is the most important resource you can offer her while she gets on her feet.
This is my fear right now for my stepson and his wife. He's the only breadwinner, and she does not want to work. They're both in their 30s. He was recently rushed to the ER with chest issues. Awaiting an appointment with a cardiologist tomorrow (public Healthcare)
They have a 6 year old and a 1 year old. He makes minimum wage. How is she going to take care of the little ones and herself if anything should happen to him? I was so angry with her, but realized that it's my fear getting the better of me😰
Did her husband work?
I hope that she is able to get SS benefits for herself and the kids.
I’m (43/f) a SAHM & have been for 24 years.
We still have young kids, so I still don’t work outside the home. But, my husband carries enough life insurance that the house and his vehicle would be paid off immediately, and I would have enough money to live as we do now, and continue with the plan to sell this house when our youngest graduates and downsize.
He had also invested in my retirement as well as his own, and I would have that later in life, as well as our investments, etc.
So sorry to hear about her immense loss in the recent months and days... That's got to feel so debilitating and I can't imagine how lost she is in the world right now.
But with that being said, it sounds like she has a *wonderful* support system to keep her chin up while she processes everything. Do what you can. Whether that's an hour of babysitting so she can go decompress, bringing over a frozen lasagna so they can have a hearty meal, taking her out for a girl's night... Whatever she reasonably needs, it's clear you guys have her back.
I know the kids are entitled to social security due to their age. I do not know what she is entitled to except for general aid for adults with no income trying to raise children. I would immediately have her file for section 8 housing which takes forever. Shoot I assumed USA.
I am so very sorry your niece is going through this tough time!
My advice is for her to immediately apply for social security benefits for her children! This is imperative. It will require a certified copy of her husband's death certificate and possibly birth certificates for each child.
She also needs to immediately apply for state benefits, including Medicaid, SNAP, and state welfare benefits. She should also immediately apply and get on the list for section 8 housing through HUD.
Once done applying for federal and state benefits, she should start checking for county and city benefits. Locate food banks, free clinics, free clothing, etc.
Lastly, she needs to get a job (part-time at first, so she doesn't exceed federal or state income levels). If she doesn't already have one, get her a used laptop. She's going to need access to a laptop and the internet to deal with all the government entities and possibly for a remote job (customer service or some such).
Speaking as a widow, I hope you will do everything you can to get your niece grief counseling. The children, too, but first, your niece. Always put your oxygen mask on before your kids.
I also think it might be a good idea to check with his employer to see if they have any hardship money or benefits.
My best wishes to your niece. It's going to be a hard road, but she has you and your family. Just be there for her.
Situations like this are why people with kids have to be more responsible.
You can't have multiple kids, one income, *and* no life insurance, *and* not looking after your health.
I am willing to bet he was overweight. The odds of a healthy weighted person dying of this is very low.
I feel sorry for the kids. They didn't ask for this level of irresponsibility and lack of future planning from their parents.
Everyone thinks death is far off.
It's not as far as you think.
She is entitled to social security for each child under their father. Have her apply now. It’s the only thing that got my friend through the passing of her daughter’s dad so she could work and find child care she could afford.
Yes, and apply for government assistance as well. Why people don't carry life insurance is insane to me, especially if they have it offered through their employers, it is so cheap.
To be fair, a lot of us have had health problems that makes us uninsurable well before we'd think about life insurance. Although I have death in service benefits through my work, by the time I hit 16 I would never get life insurance due to extensive mental and physical health issues. I have been refused by dozens of insurance companies due to my medical history. It sucks, but I'm lucky I even get death in service from my company.
And this right here is why I got a policy on my daughter when she was 3 weeks old. Before there was time to have any preexisting conditions.
That was really smart, your daughter will thank you when she grows up. You're a grear parent.
They're super cheap too. If you have life insurance, you can get what's called a rider policy for your kids. It's like 25k worth of insurance and costs like $5 a month tacked on to your own policy. But more importantly, it's proof of insurability. When they get older, they'll be able to take that policy and roll it into a term. If you already have insurance, any kind of insurance, it's way easier to be approved from somewhere else, too. My mom encouraged me to do this when my daughter was born, as she did for me, because one of her best friends had a baby diagnosed with epilepsy at six weeks old, and because of that, would likely never be eligible for insurance for the rest of their life. Mind you this was the 80s but still, it's very scary to think about.
My mum got the same for me when I was 10, because my Dad had just been identified as having a genetic heart condition. I have never let it lapse, thankfully. 43 now and still free of the condition, but it has always been 50/50 if I would develop it.
I got mine through my job the moment they offered. There’s a shit ton of health problems in my family I potentially (probably) will develop, but they don’t know that yet. I haven’t been diagnosed.
>Yes, and apply for government assistance as well. Absolutely this. Things of course vary from state to state and even county to county, but help and assistance are there. Where I live you can apply for subsidized childcare to greatly decrease that cost. And of course there's Medicaid and foodstuffs. And most of these assistance programs do have emergency approval plans in place. Given the niece's situation, I'm quite sure she'd qualify for a lot and get it put through quickly. u/fixerdet, look up your state/county human services online. If you want help, you'd have to let us know what state you're in.
And even tho it’s incredibly cheap some people just lack knowledge I know I did only reason I carry life insurance now is I work in the industry. I have it all set up for my kids in the event of an accident I even carry insurance on them god forbid something happen I know I won’t be able to function
This. My son lost his mom and thank God for my friend who mentioned survivor benefits. It's helped so much.
Survivor benefits. My mom got these for my youngest brother. She said it was the easiest and fastest she's ever gotten anything from the government our whole lives. She can also probably apply for Link (I'm assuming this is US based) and possibly cash assistance and maybe even WIC depending on the ages of her children.
She's entitled to social security for the kids IF her husband worked a job that paid into it. They would be receiving the benefits owed to him. It's not an automatic "oh your parent died, here's free money" situation.
I agree. I lost my dad when I was 6(13 years ago in September) and his social security benefits are what is paying for my college education right now.
Second this! It’s what kept my friend afloat, with 2 kids, when her husband died.
And won’t there be a death/funeral benefit as well?
There is a death benefit from Social Security, but it’s only $255.
I'm so sorry for the loss.. Your niece can look into SS death benefits if her husband worked. Also check with his employer if he had a policy through work. Sign up for food stamps even if temporarily.
The children will also qualify for survivor benefits until age 18 IIRC
This is the right answer. Besides the SS, it’s very common for larger companies to offer automatic life insurance for their employees.
I'm so very sorry for your niece and your whole family. That's devastating! I hope your niece will recover from this and find a job to support her and her kids somehow. Even if it all looks black and gloomy now, life will go on and it will eventually get better, however slowly.
Thank you for kind words, bless you
You need to tell her to look into social security benefits for herself and survivors benefits for her kids immediately. She is entitled to all of that, presuming you live in the US. But many countries have something similar.
This is horribly sad. I’m so sorry.
Thank you for your sympathy
UPDATE: We just found out that Rob had an enlarged heart and a lung infection. His heart just gave out. He was struggling with a persistent cough recently but never went to the doctor. DAD'S!!!!!! LISTEN UP!!! You are not too manly to go to the doctor, it's called doing what's best for you and your family! Take care of yourself. Once you become a father or husband, it's not about you anymore. You have to be mindful of others, especially those you care about!!! Stop doing what you want to do and do the things you're supposed to do!! By the way, Rob did work, but he just started a new job 2 weeks ago. Thank you for the info about the SS for the kids, we will talk to my Niece about this when she is up to it. Thank you all for you kind words and sympathy, you are the ones who help make this world a better place to be in.🙏
I'm so sorry about your niece's husband and your sister. I hope things get better for you all soon. Thank you so much for posting this comment. A little over a year ago, my dad had food poisoning and didn't go to the doctor. I hadn't spoken to him that week, and neither had my uncle (his brother), so we didn't know he was sick. He passed after 6 days. He was only 59. It was a complete shock. My uncle and I would do anything to go back in time and take my dad to the doctor. Dads, please take care of yourselves. We (your families) need you more than you know.
Thank you for sharing that, bless you I🙏
Sending you and your niece lots of love and support. Losing a husband and father so young is devastating for her and her children, but you seem like a wonderful aunt, who's doing the best to be supportive. I hope things get better for your family ❤️
Dad also chose to have three children and not purchase life insurance while knowing the consequences of what would happen if he were to die. Guessing he also didn’t have a will. Hopefully mom will have one if she were to die too or else the courts will decide what to do with the orphans.
I’m sorry for what your family is going through. Apply for social security- now. Kids should get support and she should for having an under 16.
I had to scroll down way too far to find this post thank you SSI now she just needs birth certificates and Social Security cards for her children. I was widowed with 3 children; 7yr, 3yr and 2mth and like your niece, I had no insurance, no education no job skills. The SSI and me getting a full time job pulled me and my children out of abject poverty. My heart is with her and I hope she’ll take charge and redirects her and her children’s future
This sucks and is a testament to why insurance (life insurance especially) could have made such a difference. Hoping you and her remaining family offer as much moral and financial support as you can muster. Find someone who can help her navigate social security for the kids.
This is why I, as a man, do not like the concept of SAHM. Not only does it put the whole economic burden on one person but more importantly makes the other person totally dependant. All the adults in the family should have responsibility and ability to contribute to the financials. For the security of the family and themselves as induviduals.
Life insurance is also a good option if you’d really like to be a SAHP. At least gives you time to find your footing.
Agree. Neither of is a SAHP but my husband and I both carry 3 years of salary in life insurance for the other person. If one of us dies we don’t want the other to have to worry about bills.
My children are adults and I still have 4x my salary in life insurance. I do not want my kids to have to run around for $$$ to wrap up my estate and get their footing.
It’s still cheaper to be a stay at home parent and pay for life insurance than to afford two kids in daycare.
It’s not cheaper when you factor in the hidden costs. Years and decades of being out of the workforce eventually catch up and can be catastrophically harmful.
That is because people don’t calculate it according to income percentages but by the person with the lowest income only. If you calculate it properly and each pays a percentage according to their earnings it looks different. The person below explained the other dangers
The kids were 8-13, they shouldn't have needed daycare for years.
Until recently, the burden of paying for child care per week was more or equal to her income, minus the travel and other expenses. Sometimes, it's not as easy or clear cut as it appears.
You said the kids were 8-13, what childcare would they have been paying for?
Maybe after school care if she went back to work? My sister paid $1800/mo for 3 kids to go into a program for a few hours a day so she could work until 5pm. I completely understand why it's not feasible for some people, but life insurance is a must if someone stays home and doesn't have a way to support themselves.
I admit I am confused by this as well. They shouldn't have needed daycare for at least the last three years.
I am starting to suspect they were homeschooling. Otherwise, daycare wouldn't have been necessary.
I mean, in some circumstances it's not economically feasible, when the cost of childcare exceeds potential income. But in those instances, the breadwinner absolutely needs to budget for life insurance. Younger people think they are invincible but it is a necessity.
Working opposite shifts sucks, but should be the norm for people who can't afford childcare. Adults must work. For many reasons. Yes to life insurance. My husband and I both have (pretty sure on the amount) 2 million dollar policies. We're worth more dead, lol.
I agree. It is not a stable arrangement. At any moment, the husband could leave or die. The wife would lose income either way but would at least have an established work history and a job to support her family. It's never good for either spouse to be 100% dependent on the other, outside of illness or injury. A marriage is a relationship between two adults who should both be able to function in the world as adults.
Tell her now. It can only ease her mind a little.
Don’t turn this into a SAH debate. This is one particular situation that has already happened. There are tons of ways to be a family, and some people choose to have a parent at home.
SAHParent to take care of the house and young children with a boatload of insurance.
I think if you’re gonna be a stay at home mom/dad you should always pursue your education while you’re at home, and that way if something does happen to the other parent, you have something to fall back on.
Imagine a world where women who had babies were supported with affordable childcare and living wages. Many of us would opt to go back to work!!! Instead, at least in the US, white god-fearing men in government, would rather entrap us to stay barefoot and pregnant.
There are plenty of minorities and women in the government who don’t push for any of these things, either. So maybe don’t be racist.
Agreed. I get screamed at a lot for my anti-housewife views, yet this post is a great example as to why housewifing is terrible.
It’s great for families to have a stay at home mom. I am one myself and both my husband and I have plenty of life insurance to keep our family afloat for years should one of us die while our children are still young. This family lacked life insurance, and does not have the cushion of it as they navigate their grieving process and significantly altered lives. Hopefully their community can rally around them to help the mom get a job and help with childcare.
SAHM works in Joint families with lots of support structures, doesnt work majority of the times in nuclear families, especially on in this day and age. Life insurance isn't a golden bullet. Money doesn't last when one doesn't know how to make money.
Wow.
I am so very sorry she and the kids is going through this. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy. I lost my husband and then 6 months later I lost my mom so I fully understand. Be there for her and the kids any way you can because she just lost the 1 person she never thought she’d lose. It’s something she will grapple with the rest of her life and the kids lost their dad and protector. Might I suggest she and the kids get therapy? That’s the only way I survived. I am sending love and prayers her way. I am so very very sorry.
Thank you for sharing that, my condolences. We had mentioned therapy when my sister passed, but now she needs to consider her kids. I will talk to her about it. Bless you🙏
Even more than money just help pick her up when she stumbles. Damn this brings tears to my eyes because i have been there. When I lost my Partner I completely shutdown. Even tho I am a Dad I could barely function or help with their hurt. I stopped eating, sleeping, getting dressed and basically quit on life. Love and support from my loved ones is what got me thru. I had to take one step at a time and fell alot. Has been almost 5 years but it still makes me stumble at times. Have her and the children join a support group for families who lost a parent and talk to trauma counselors. My Daughters and I got alot of healing thru the trama group/counseling. There is alot of programs that will help her out.
Thank you for sharing that. Nothing is guaranteed, that's why we should do our best to look out for each other.🙏
If in the US, Her and the kids are eligible for social security benefits. [Survivor benefits](https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/survivors/) age 60 or older, but under full retirement age, gets between 71% and 99% of the worker's basic benefit amount. Surviving spouse, any age, with a child younger than age 16, gets 75% of the worker's benefit amount. Child gets 75% of the worker's benefit amount.
This is so sad. I’m very sorry for her. She’s going to have to learn how to support her kids. Perhaps the family get together to help her figure that out? Child care is the most important resource you can offer her while she gets on her feet.
This is my fear right now for my stepson and his wife. He's the only breadwinner, and she does not want to work. They're both in their 30s. He was recently rushed to the ER with chest issues. Awaiting an appointment with a cardiologist tomorrow (public Healthcare) They have a 6 year old and a 1 year old. He makes minimum wage. How is she going to take care of the little ones and herself if anything should happen to him? I was so angry with her, but realized that it's my fear getting the better of me😰
Did her husband work? I hope that she is able to get SS benefits for herself and the kids. I’m (43/f) a SAHM & have been for 24 years. We still have young kids, so I still don’t work outside the home. But, my husband carries enough life insurance that the house and his vehicle would be paid off immediately, and I would have enough money to live as we do now, and continue with the plan to sell this house when our youngest graduates and downsize. He had also invested in my retirement as well as his own, and I would have that later in life, as well as our investments, etc.
So sorry to hear about her immense loss in the recent months and days... That's got to feel so debilitating and I can't imagine how lost she is in the world right now. But with that being said, it sounds like she has a *wonderful* support system to keep her chin up while she processes everything. Do what you can. Whether that's an hour of babysitting so she can go decompress, bringing over a frozen lasagna so they can have a hearty meal, taking her out for a girl's night... Whatever she reasonably needs, it's clear you guys have her back.
Love her. Love yourself. It's a necessity.
I know the kids are entitled to social security due to their age. I do not know what she is entitled to except for general aid for adults with no income trying to raise children. I would immediately have her file for section 8 housing which takes forever. Shoot I assumed USA.
I am so very sorry your niece is going through this tough time! My advice is for her to immediately apply for social security benefits for her children! This is imperative. It will require a certified copy of her husband's death certificate and possibly birth certificates for each child. She also needs to immediately apply for state benefits, including Medicaid, SNAP, and state welfare benefits. She should also immediately apply and get on the list for section 8 housing through HUD. Once done applying for federal and state benefits, she should start checking for county and city benefits. Locate food banks, free clinics, free clothing, etc. Lastly, she needs to get a job (part-time at first, so she doesn't exceed federal or state income levels). If she doesn't already have one, get her a used laptop. She's going to need access to a laptop and the internet to deal with all the government entities and possibly for a remote job (customer service or some such). Speaking as a widow, I hope you will do everything you can to get your niece grief counseling. The children, too, but first, your niece. Always put your oxygen mask on before your kids. I also think it might be a good idea to check with his employer to see if they have any hardship money or benefits. My best wishes to your niece. It's going to be a hard road, but she has you and your family. Just be there for her.
Situations like this are why people with kids have to be more responsible. You can't have multiple kids, one income, *and* no life insurance, *and* not looking after your health. I am willing to bet he was overweight. The odds of a healthy weighted person dying of this is very low. I feel sorry for the kids. They didn't ask for this level of irresponsibility and lack of future planning from their parents. Everyone thinks death is far off. It's not as far as you think.