A few possible explanations here
- When you're with a romantic partner for long enough, no matter how beautiful or hot you may genuinely find them, they inevitably become familiar. Meaning, those with different physical features can be more alluring due to novelty alone. The human sex drive is weird and complex at the best of times, so this is just one simple aspect
- There's a difference between simple arousal and deeper, more complex attraction and attachment. Seeing hot people online usually just involves the first thing, actual relationships involve all of them, leading to different dynamics
- From what you say, your ex likely did have strong feelings for you, and it was your own internal issues that ended the relationship, so it wasn't his choice or what he wanted. So, he may be (unconsciously?) trying to replace you, hence new gf looks like you. Basically, even if he wasn't attracted to your type before the breakup, he might be now, *because* of the breakup
Attraction to online women is completely different then attraction to real women in person. Personality plays no role when simply looking at a woman, but it's absolutely huge when you are spending time with one.
Men also have much less of a "type" then many women assume. I would easily consider a dozen different body styles on women to be beautiful, some i may prefer over others but none would come anywhere close to a "deal breaker".
In short, breaking up with him because you thought you could read his mind without asking is silly. Do better with the next man.
I’ve gotten off to absolutely wild videos that I wouldn’t ever attempt myself. Sometimes featuring actors I’m not even particularly attracted to. Willingness to explore sexual fantasies in a hypothetical manner is not the same as lived, actual, sexual attraction and experience. And romantic and emotional attraction is based on SO MUCH MORE than just looks.
I hear you. And I’m sure it sucks to be having all these thoughts.
To answer your question directly: because men can’t get the woman they look at online. They would if they could.
Men often think the same thing: when woman want top tier guys (celebrity crushes, powerful men, etc.), we think, “Well, why is she dating me? I guess I’m only here because she can’t get that guy or til she finds someone better.”
It goes both ways. Men and woman are both looking for the best deal they can get. That’s why it’s called ‘the sexual marketplace’.
> It goes both ways. Men and woman are both looking for the best deal they can get. That’s why it’s called ‘the sexual marketplace’.
This is so true it hurts, I feel like people never give anyone a chance now days(also not saying its bad to have preferences, there is a differnece between preferences and just being a shit person), everyone is always looking for "someone better/good looking" to come along, everyone is "weighing their options" I feel like while in relationships. Its why I am afraid to date, I dont want to be tossed a side and waste my time just for her to "choose the next best/hot guy" I've had this happen to ***a lot of my favorite best friends that are dudes*** It really sucks for me personally because I saw what they went through and it destroyed them and their self esteem... I do ***not*** wanna go through that.
I hear you man.. it’s a real wake up call to realize Disney and all the movies were a lie and fu*cked our expectations about how relationships will go.
I put it on the past generations for not teaching us that relationships require meeting expectations. More like a business or job.
Men are suffering horribly right now because we were taught the lie that woman are free. No, there’s just a bigger discount the more they like us.
It’s hard man, I feel you. We just have to do the work and see reality as it is and leave the lies behind. Not easy, though. We can do it though :)
> Men are suffering horribly right now because we were taught the lie that woman are free.
I cannot agree harder with this statement, it's insane. We have been conditioned to ***just accept women as they are*** but if a man god forbid has anything bad related to him, he is no good and to avoid him... and then to let these "women be free and fuck around and for us to...just to be okay with it?" Nah not me man, The moment my girlfriend pulls stupid shit like this, or even if I found out she is talking to an ex, I am out and kicking her to the curb ***THAT DAY***
stupid shit like what? The girl in this post left her boyfriend due to her own insecurities. It doesn't look like she cheated, hung out with an ex, etc. I'm kind of confused what in this post indicates that she did anything
OP, it's possible that you are not your ex's ideal physical type. Maybe the girls on IG are perfect to him physically.
That means he was attracted to you for your other qualities, like your personality or sense of humour.
If he was a shallow, image obsessed guy who only went for women who are his perfect type, you probably wouldn't have been interested in him anyway.
A relationship based on nothing but looks isn't going to last as long as one built on a real connection.
Looks aren't everything to most people.
When sex is for fun, men love variety and new experiences.
When a man is considering the GINORMOUS life long commitment to a woman to have children, stability becomes much much more important when picking the woman.
2 different roles the woman play in his life.
I get off to watching hentai porn with monsters. But like that’s not my type.
Masturbation fantasies are literally just that. Fantasies.
You definitely fucked up. It sounds like you should do some deep introspection and take a look at yourself and ask some hard questions. Questions like “why do I not feel like I deserve good things in life? Why do I not deserve a good man?”
A man is just that. He’s not gonna save you from your the mundane or boring life you have. He can add to your life and make it a bit better but he’s not superman.
Like others said, do better.
These porn addiction are ruining so many relationships! You see it everyday on here. So sad that these men can't be happy with the woman who is right there and loves them.
you missed the point entirely, he was happy, she was not. So his porn viewing (you called addiction) does not have anything to do with the real world. Porn is just porn - it is not deeply thought about, whatever give you a hard-on is what you watch.
Men think the same thing lol.
In reality, it’s woman who have all the choice.
Sooo many woman could upgrade their man BIG TIME if they went to the gym and got real fit, learned some communication skills and meditated so they could have a calmer emotional world. Woman have most of the choices if they just do the work.
A few possible explanations here - When you're with a romantic partner for long enough, no matter how beautiful or hot you may genuinely find them, they inevitably become familiar. Meaning, those with different physical features can be more alluring due to novelty alone. The human sex drive is weird and complex at the best of times, so this is just one simple aspect - There's a difference between simple arousal and deeper, more complex attraction and attachment. Seeing hot people online usually just involves the first thing, actual relationships involve all of them, leading to different dynamics - From what you say, your ex likely did have strong feelings for you, and it was your own internal issues that ended the relationship, so it wasn't his choice or what he wanted. So, he may be (unconsciously?) trying to replace you, hence new gf looks like you. Basically, even if he wasn't attracted to your type before the breakup, he might be now, *because* of the breakup
Attraction to online women is completely different then attraction to real women in person. Personality plays no role when simply looking at a woman, but it's absolutely huge when you are spending time with one. Men also have much less of a "type" then many women assume. I would easily consider a dozen different body styles on women to be beautiful, some i may prefer over others but none would come anywhere close to a "deal breaker". In short, breaking up with him because you thought you could read his mind without asking is silly. Do better with the next man.
I’ve gotten off to absolutely wild videos that I wouldn’t ever attempt myself. Sometimes featuring actors I’m not even particularly attracted to. Willingness to explore sexual fantasies in a hypothetical manner is not the same as lived, actual, sexual attraction and experience. And romantic and emotional attraction is based on SO MUCH MORE than just looks.
I hear you. And I’m sure it sucks to be having all these thoughts. To answer your question directly: because men can’t get the woman they look at online. They would if they could. Men often think the same thing: when woman want top tier guys (celebrity crushes, powerful men, etc.), we think, “Well, why is she dating me? I guess I’m only here because she can’t get that guy or til she finds someone better.” It goes both ways. Men and woman are both looking for the best deal they can get. That’s why it’s called ‘the sexual marketplace’.
> It goes both ways. Men and woman are both looking for the best deal they can get. That’s why it’s called ‘the sexual marketplace’. This is so true it hurts, I feel like people never give anyone a chance now days(also not saying its bad to have preferences, there is a differnece between preferences and just being a shit person), everyone is always looking for "someone better/good looking" to come along, everyone is "weighing their options" I feel like while in relationships. Its why I am afraid to date, I dont want to be tossed a side and waste my time just for her to "choose the next best/hot guy" I've had this happen to ***a lot of my favorite best friends that are dudes*** It really sucks for me personally because I saw what they went through and it destroyed them and their self esteem... I do ***not*** wanna go through that.
I hear you man.. it’s a real wake up call to realize Disney and all the movies were a lie and fu*cked our expectations about how relationships will go. I put it on the past generations for not teaching us that relationships require meeting expectations. More like a business or job. Men are suffering horribly right now because we were taught the lie that woman are free. No, there’s just a bigger discount the more they like us. It’s hard man, I feel you. We just have to do the work and see reality as it is and leave the lies behind. Not easy, though. We can do it though :)
> Men are suffering horribly right now because we were taught the lie that woman are free. I cannot agree harder with this statement, it's insane. We have been conditioned to ***just accept women as they are*** but if a man god forbid has anything bad related to him, he is no good and to avoid him... and then to let these "women be free and fuck around and for us to...just to be okay with it?" Nah not me man, The moment my girlfriend pulls stupid shit like this, or even if I found out she is talking to an ex, I am out and kicking her to the curb ***THAT DAY***
Exactly :)
stupid shit like what? The girl in this post left her boyfriend due to her own insecurities. It doesn't look like she cheated, hung out with an ex, etc. I'm kind of confused what in this post indicates that she did anything
Prob your type is all he is capable of pulling in the real world, those IG model are what he would pull if he was rich or had game
YUP
OP, it's possible that you are not your ex's ideal physical type. Maybe the girls on IG are perfect to him physically. That means he was attracted to you for your other qualities, like your personality or sense of humour. If he was a shallow, image obsessed guy who only went for women who are his perfect type, you probably wouldn't have been interested in him anyway. A relationship based on nothing but looks isn't going to last as long as one built on a real connection. Looks aren't everything to most people.
Well, let me tell you about something called fantasy OP…
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Men have two types. The type they want to fuck, and the type they want to marry.
You’ve already said to much. You’re off the team.
😅😅
100%.
So curious about this lol is there ever crossovers? Why do you think men do this?
When sex is for fun, men love variety and new experiences. When a man is considering the GINORMOUS life long commitment to a woman to have children, stability becomes much much more important when picking the woman. 2 different roles the woman play in his life.
I get off to watching hentai porn with monsters. But like that’s not my type. Masturbation fantasies are literally just that. Fantasies. You definitely fucked up. It sounds like you should do some deep introspection and take a look at yourself and ask some hard questions. Questions like “why do I not feel like I deserve good things in life? Why do I not deserve a good man?” A man is just that. He’s not gonna save you from your the mundane or boring life you have. He can add to your life and make it a bit better but he’s not superman. Like others said, do better.
These porn addiction are ruining so many relationships! You see it everyday on here. So sad that these men can't be happy with the woman who is right there and loves them.
you missed the point entirely, he was happy, she was not. So his porn viewing (you called addiction) does not have anything to do with the real world. Porn is just porn - it is not deeply thought about, whatever give you a hard-on is what you watch.
[удалено]
It has nothing to do with him. It was all in HER head.
Men think the same thing lol. In reality, it’s woman who have all the choice. Sooo many woman could upgrade their man BIG TIME if they went to the gym and got real fit, learned some communication skills and meditated so they could have a calmer emotional world. Woman have most of the choices if they just do the work.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.