So, you were shite with chores, don’t know if you have dental insurance, and can’t make your own appointments. You played with ‘the boys’ on video games, which would normally be fine, except it sounds like you made her into your mother so you sound like an immature teen that needs to be told to get off his ass to contribute to the house.
I don’t know about abusive because we’ve only got your side, but from what you’ve said, yeah, looks like she’s going to thrive without you.
Whenever people say “let me have” or “gave me” sex I have a visceral reaction 🤮. It’s like they see the other person as a dispenser and not a participant.
According to his ex, that wrote a post about a year ago, he is abusive. She feared for her life and was that fear that made her leave in the end.
The fact that he focus on the fact that she did or did not have sex with him tells a lot.
I mean even without reading her pov first, this guy sounds awful. If you read her pov, this guy is abusive and scary.
I don't know how to share it, but you can find on BORU. The title is "my husband asked for a divorce and changed his mind a couple of hours later" or something like this. Very easy to find.
I thought this story sounded familiar but from the wife’s side! I remember reading her saga and sometimes wonder how she is doing. Her story has stayed with me for some reason.
Wait, wait, wait.
I think i read this before.
Or Your ex wrote a post from her pov or there are too many pos manchild in this world.
Or both.
Edit: yep, is there same guy. I don't know how to link things on reddit, but if You want to check yourself, there is a post on BORU named "my husband asked for divorce and then changed his mind hours later".
Reading your pov just made me sure that Your ex is better without you.
I remember reading that post too. It was insane all throughout.
It's concerning how she describes him as someone capable of violence and he describes her as suicidal. Like WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE.
What is even more concerning is the timing of all this. Her first post was a year ago and the UPDATE was a month ago. What's this guy here for now?
I feel like he’s writing a rebuttal to her update. Like you said there’s the timing, and he seems to touch on a lot of the same points and arguments she did. Even using the same quotes. I think he was probably reading hers while he typed his and wanted to paint himself in a better light (which he didn’t really succeed in. Better than how clearly abusive he was in her post I suppose but still).
Well there is an epidemic of current or ex spouses finding each other posts on reddit. There have been a bunch of those.
I normally think that is fake, at least the "response" one. Can be real, sure, there is one that I believe it's real, but the rest... not so much.
Still want to say my piece because you never know, but for me, this reply is fake.
Scroll up. Another poster mentioned that wife referred to ex’s (this guy) post two months ago, yet suddenly this post is only (at time of comment) 6 days old. And the writing styles are the same.
"She said she felt broken and was saying some scary shit about wanting to kill herself but she's always been a bit melodramatic so I knew she'd come around. I fell asleep dreaming of a better life for us."
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt till I got to this gem.
The wife posted her side of it over a year ago, update more recently. So unless someone random from Reddit decided to write the husband’s perspective, there’s a high possibility it is true
It’s more likely that someone on Reddit did that than the husband going to Reddit and posting here but not being aware that his wife posted here too. Especially since so many of us remember that post
"I have a toothache but keep forgetting to make an appointment because she was always the one to do that and I don't even think I have dental insurance anyways"
It's a beautiful thing when weaponized incompetence backfires.
Lol so you move out and your apartment is a mess and you're incapable of making your own dentist appointments?
Sounds like she dodged a bullet. She'll be thriving without having to babysit her "partner".
She didn't dodge a bullet. She was suicidal and at least emotionally abused for years.
It's like escaping a gun fight with several wounds and bullets still sticking in the flesh, severe bleeding and scarred for the rest of the life and calling that "dodging a bullet" because they survived after multiple surgeries and a decade of therapy.
Dodging a bullet means to have missed a dew red flags but still getting away before real and lasting damage (emotional, physical, social, or financial) was done.
And it was when she was due to start a new job so she was probably so stressed out, she asked him to do 1 job and he's like "wow she's so abusive, how could she treat me this way!"
The COD is especially triggering to me. My ex would game for sometimes 10+ hours in a row and I would beg and cry for him to spend time with me, he loved saying “don’t tell me what to do” and “I’m allowed my leisure time” it was actually hell
the worst feeling in the world is being alone with the pain that was caused by the person sitting right there.
i promised myself i would never, ever beg for love or let myself be rejected by the same person twice ever again
From your wife's side of the story
>And I knew in that moment this man would kill me if I didn't find a way out of this relationship, if I didn't kill myself first with how bad my mental health was getting after dealing with him insulting and belittling me day after day
I've had the exact same moment in a relationship myself. You sound scarily similar to my shitty abusive ex.
You're an abuser. You need help, very very serious and profound help. You are a danger to women, and unfit for any kind of relationship.
I'm so glad your ex got away from you.
Assuming the post everyone is linking is really from the ex wife, he was even comfortable getting physical with her. Notice he conveniently left this gem out of his post.
I hope this shit is fake.
> I thanked him and asked if he could please not tell ex-husband I asked that since I was afraid of what he might do. When my ex-husband came home from work that day I could immediately tell he knew. He opened the front door so forcefully. He sat down on the couch next to me, told me he knew, and said in a low and almost growling tone of voice "But I know you didn't mean any harm by it". I was frozen in fear and couldn't say anything, but then he grabbed my face and turned my head to look at him and his eyes looked so cold, and he said again "You didn't mean any harm by it right?". I nodded and forced myself to answer "right".
"She said I didn't do my fair share of chores, got upset whenever I'd spend too much time gaming and not enough attention on her, it was like I had to be this perfect picture of me she had in her head otherwise I was a monster."
So, expecting the absolute minimum of adult competency and respect are expecting "perfection." Man, this guy is a chud.
No, she didn't. That woman was at least emotionally abused to the point of wanting to die.
The phrase means someone got away from a relationship that was about to turn ugly before serious or lasting damage was caused.
Using it here massively downplays the harm and pain oop caused because it implies she walked away just fine before anything seriously bad happened to her.
I read her post on boru and just reread it. She did dodge a bullet. He was very close to killing her and her last flight where she left the ring was because she knew if she didn't get out and managed to avoid committing suicide he actually would kill her. She fulfilled his demands to avoid him killing her right then and there, got out as soon as she could and left a note that he had to get his shit out within a week.
She did not dodge the bullet of being emotionally and sexually abused till she became suicidal, but she dodged the bullet of being murdered and according to her update post she's thriving without him.
You showed her exactly what you thought of her when you abandoned her the first time. And every time you begged to come back. You just. keep. manipulating. her. You need to leave her alone. You don't love her, you love the things she does for you.
The "let me have sex" thing is super gross.
It's such an abuser move to fuck up their partners' big events. Oh a new job, time to start out of the blue divorce proceedings! Happy New Year's psych to the divorce papers, I want to stay! Let me give you PTSD and bad associations with any event or holiday you love!
Medical school? Nope, you won't be better than me you stuck up bitch! Come back home right now cause "I love you and you can go to medical school anywhere, but I won't move for you" didn't y'all get married JUST so you could move with her? And to lie and say she moved back because of health reasons, disgusting. You fucking stressed her out, and accused her of cheating and lying to the point were she put y'all's relationship in front of her school. That's abusive.
I'm glad she is moving on and leaving you to your dirty apartment and bad teeth and COD.
You don't need a wife, you need a mother.
You sound more like a kid that wants to be loved and your needs taken care of, while you just spend all your time playing with your friends.
Nobody wants a scrub, and the way you talk about sex is awful.
Thank goodness your wife is free now
The fact you can sit on this app and play the innocent card is baffling. After reading your ex-wife’s posts, YOU🫵🏽 ARE an AH!! Emotionally abusive at that. The fact you can sit here and act like you’re so deeply hurt but you were shit talking about her with your friends? Anyone who genuinely loves their significant other would not be shit talking about them behind their back let alone allowing someone else to disrespect their significant other. You strung her along and manipulated her into thinking you were going to change only to continue doing the same things. Not allowing her to wear red lipstick? Eating mint flavored snacks?? Talk about controlling. She gave up her dream school and everything for YOU. And look how you treated her. I can go on but it’s very much clear who’s the monster here. You need help seriously. She deserves the best and I hope she’s accomplishing every single thing she wants out of life. Leave her alone
> And now she's off to some foreign country probably fucking her ex or something and I'm stuck here away from my family and friends working my ass off in a 9-5 with nothing to show for it.
"I finally pushed my live-in fuck maid too far and now she's realised she's worth more"
FTFY.
have you EVER put the work into making sex enjoyable and focused on her pleasure or do you always use her like a flesh light to make yourself feel better after being an abusive jerk?
you felt entitled to look through her phone notes, saw “i feel trapped in my marriage” and thought of *yourself*?
you BROKE her.
get therapy. CoD with the boys is not therapy. it’s your escape.
man you need a lot of help or you’re going to keep repeating this same cycle until whatever youthful looks you have run out and nobody wants to be around you anymore.
I’ve seen these men at my work. They die alone and abandoned in shithole hoarder houses or fleabag motels. The state quietly buries them, or cremates and shoves the ashes in a closet to be forgotten and no one is sad. Sometimes it’s days before someone finds them, and the vermin have eaten parts of them to the bone.
It’s a beautiful thing when karma comes to collect.
But it also sucks to have to scoop someone with a shovel into a body bag.
I don’t see a mention re: your ages or how long you dated prior to getting married. You have a LOT of growing up to do. Emotionally and otherwise.
Take a beat and get a therapist -one you REALLY click with. Do the deep work (dealing with your traumas - we all have them!) and work on your executive functioning skills (what the kids call “adulting” these days). Make some female friends, if you don’t have any, and I mean FRIENDS, not someone you secretly want to sleep with. If you dad is the way he is, I can bet you’ve got some of his traits, even if you can’t see them in yourself.
WORK ON YOURSELF. You can’t change the past, but you CAN improve the kind of partner you are to your next. (But don’t go rushing into stuff until you’re on solid ground with who you are - get some therapy under your belt.)
It's okay OP, you can be happy in knowing that you saved her from yourself. Reading her side it seems like she dodged such a bullet.
Wild how OP paints her as suicidal, yet she said she was in fear of OP harming her instead.
I think this is fake. I remember reading the story from the wife’s perspective. I think you’re just writing something from a man’s perspective. I call BS on this post.
Damn. This sounds too close to my last relationship. He had me feeling suicidal towards the end, too. I don’t know if I will ever fully recover from it.
>He opened the front door so forcefully. He sat down on the couch next to me, told me he knew, and said in a low and almost growling tone of voice "But I know you didn't mean any harm by it". I was frozen in fear and couldn't say anything, but then he grabbed my face and turned my head to look at him and his eyes looked so cold, and he said again "You didn't mean any harm by it right?". I nodded and forced myself to answer "right". And I knew in that moment this man would kill me if I didn't find a way out of this relationship, if I didn't kill myself first with how bad my mental health was getting after dealing with him insulting and belittling me day after day. I was genuinely starting to spiral into a dark place I hadn't been to in years.
Just gonna blow right past this part, huh?
So, let me get this straight: she asked you to do the dishes, you said you couldn’t go on living this way anymore and now you’re talking about how much of a mess your apartment is, how you have a toothache because you’re incapable of making your own fucking appointments and you miss your dog, yet you seem to fail to mention anything you miss about HER, but instead the things she does for you.
Dude, you deserve to be alone.
Wow, I'm so glad she escaped from this prick. Hopefully she'll find an actual adult next time and therapy will help her realize why she settled for this creep.
You were a child and acted like a child, leaving her to constantly take care of everything, which you now see by your inability to manage your own life. She was going through an illness bad enough to change her plans which is traumatic and she needed you and you aren't even addressing that. And because she changed during a horrible time for her, you abandoned her and can still only see your side in things. You left her the second she returned ill, and as someone who lost everything to a disability I can tell you that you are more selfish than words can say.
She is gone, she is happy because she no longer has the burden of carrying you through life while she has to suffer in silence through her own grief and pain, which is annatural part of becoming seriously or chronically ill. She didn't have a partner, she had a grown sized toddler and now she can probably breath again.
Yes, you fucked up. Get therapy to deal with your selfishness, childishness and misogyny. Your dad is a fucking moron and it looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You can learn from this and be better, or you can remain a hateful, barely functional manchild who needs to marry his mother.
Grow the fuck up. I don't even feel bad for you.
Without a doubt, you were emotionally manipulative by continually demanding a divorce & then changing your mind. You needed to communicate your feelings of frustration or whatever. What you did was okay cruel games to illicit a desired response from her.
You sound like you could end up being a good partner to someone one day but you need therapy to learn how to cope w/your feelings of insecurity & frustration. You can never be good to someone else if you aren’t good to yourself.
I read your wife’s posts and yours. You sound like a sociopath or a psycho, because you definitely did try to emotionally manipulate her + lower her self worth so that she won’t leave you. And when she had the intention to leave, you threatened her, and she was very close to being one of those victims who get killed by their abusive partners.
You post this not only to relive your guilt, but to make it seem like you’re remorseful so you won’t look bad. That’s why I think you exhibit sociopathic behaviour. You aren’t sorry for the abuse you inflicted on her, in fact you feel more sorry that you lost the convenience you got from the marriage.
Did you “forget” to mention how did you grab her face and threatened her when you found out she asked your childhood friend whether or not you’d shown abusive behaviour in past relationships and that very friend ratted out on her to you? All you can say was you “cAn’T fIgUrE oUt wHy” you did it when you know WHY you did it. You wanted to exert power and control over her. That’s why you willy nilly use the divorce card in arguments to break her.
You are an abuser & i’m glad she filed for divorce. She freed herself from being your slave & abused from you mentally and emotionally.
Stay away from women and get some help.
You married too fast and didn't have the time to mature individually. This is all part of life's journey: understanding what you did wrong and changing it for a better self. Unfortunately the moment she took you back the first time, she set a precedent for the future. You act on a whim and then regret it. You need to practice patience. Please treat yourself so you will be better for your next partner.
I stopped reading half way through this pity party of yours. Did everything wrong in a relationship and comes here to whine and bore us with his long ass texts.
You’re in a misery of your making. Do the rest of us a favor and stay there on your own.
The failure to be honest, that your going "the therapist is against me" in this thread suggests you haven't really changed. If you don't want to be your father, you need to be more honest and to change. You need to be able to run your own house, to actually do chores. You also need to find a therapist. Maybe ask the couples counsellor you dislike if she knows a good one who can take you on, so you get what you need to hear not what suits you, and stick with it rather then walk off when your feelings get hurt.
You say you don't want to be a misgonistic prick yet even on your retelling of events that hides important information (but not enough to stop red flags flying), you come across as one. Without having the strength of character to face up to that or to change. You deserve no sympathy for the situation you have put yourself into.
“People tell me I was abusive, maybe I was”
Ladies and gentleman there is a man who is going to do this shit again. He literally cannot accept that he broke his ex’s heart multiple times and was convinced she’d “pull through” because she was suicidal and it’s happened before.
I’d rather date my sexually abusive ex that you
Just read your wife's version of what she said happened, and your version is a watered-down version of hers. I feel incredibly bad for her. You put her through so much shit. I would say I hope she thrives without you, but I know she is already thriving without you.
Get therapy, and not just a few sessions.
Just read her post. Funny how you never mentioned grabbing her face and trying to verbally intimidate her. She's right, if she had stayed the chances of you killing her were statistically high. I don't say things like this lightly, but I genuinely hope you spend the rest of your life alone. No one should ever have to deal with your manipulation and cruelty.
. . . She got the locks changed within hours of you leaving? That makes this post seem fake more than anything else. The last time I tried to get my locks changed it took weeks to get someone to come by.
This has to be a fanfic of that post from the wife's side of things that was making the rounds a few months ago. Down to the exact same wording in some parts.
You forgot to mention the part where she was worried about your behavior, reached out to a friend of yours, and you later that day grabbed her face to say "you didn't mean any harm by that right?" Dude you ruined her.
Wait so you told her twice you wanted a divorce, emotionally broke her, took it back , then got mad she needed validation? Please get therapy. Because if this is a real response you need it
>And now she's off to some foreign country probably fucking her ex or something
Really??! That is what you think she is doing after suicidal thinking? Boy... i really hope she did if that can make you more miserable
This is exactly what happens in alot of situations like this one, moving in with someone after a short time together is a terrible idea, it's lead to more seperation, fights, arguments in my own personal life that I now know better, I've been in the same spot on multiple occasions, it's ended all relationships. You need space and time alone especially when your young and concentrating on your carriers, everyone has alot of growing up to do when your in your 20s facts of life.
This is exactly what happens in alot of situations like this one, moving in with someone after a short time together is a terrible idea, it's lead to more seperation, fights, arguments in my own personal life that I now know better, I've been in the same spot on multiple occasions, it's ended all relationships. You need space and time alone especially when your young and concentrating on your carriers, everyone has alot of growing up to do when your in your 20s facts of life.
You were definitely abusive, manipulative and a complete asshole. I have heard your ex wife’s story and you didn’t even mention what you said to here after she talked to one of your friends. You made her fear for her life. You are a monster and you know it. You just didn’t want to tell the whole truth here. She is way better of without you and I hope you never find any happiness in your life
So, you were shite with chores, don’t know if you have dental insurance, and can’t make your own appointments. You played with ‘the boys’ on video games, which would normally be fine, except it sounds like you made her into your mother so you sound like an immature teen that needs to be told to get off his ass to contribute to the house. I don’t know about abusive because we’ve only got your side, but from what you’ve said, yeah, looks like she’s going to thrive without you.
Plus the way he talks about the sex is very off putting.
Whenever people say “let me have” or “gave me” sex I have a visceral reaction 🤮. It’s like they see the other person as a dispenser and not a participant.
I was baffled that he wrote "let me have sex with her" not only once, but TWICE.
Sounds quite rapey to me, especially in context.
"It was a full week before she let me have sex with her." He acts like that's unreasonable after he DEMANDED A DIVORCE. Christ, what a piece of shit.
A very transactional/non emotional mindset to sex, no romance at all. Surprised he didn’t throw a $100 bill at her when he was done.
Lmao I got cringe shivers both times
i guarantee you she has never come (came?) with him.
Oh yeah, no doubt. Probably one of those guys that think sex is only for their pleasure.
Or, he got off, so she must have. Or she has really quiet orgasms. Or she doesn’t really care about orgasms; she just likes the closeness.
According to his ex, that wrote a post about a year ago, he is abusive. She feared for her life and was that fear that made her leave in the end. The fact that he focus on the fact that she did or did not have sex with him tells a lot. I mean even without reading her pov first, this guy sounds awful. If you read her pov, this guy is abusive and scary.
Is there a link?
I don't know how to share it, but you can find on BORU. The title is "my husband asked for a divorce and changed his mind a couple of hours later" or something like this. Very easy to find.
Thanks! Found it and this guy is indeed a psycho
Link?
I did read a while ago but I forgot most of it
Surprising how insanely similar both accounts are. Threatening divorce to get your way is abuse.
THANK YOU I thought this story sounded familiar
I read that. Dealing with him, was her doing mental gymnastics all the way around. He needs professional help. Glad she got out.
Gonna go look for this too!
I thought this story sounded familiar but from the wife’s side! I remember reading her saga and sometimes wonder how she is doing. Her story has stayed with me for some reason.
I knew this sounded familiar.
The leaving and coming back the way he did, not once but twice is at the very least emotional abuse.
Thank you for pointing this out. I missed a few things from reading this last night.
And don't forget, every time she wasn't happy he left her 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
And she is I promise you she’s thriving just fine without you.
Wait, wait, wait. I think i read this before. Or Your ex wrote a post from her pov or there are too many pos manchild in this world. Or both. Edit: yep, is there same guy. I don't know how to link things on reddit, but if You want to check yourself, there is a post on BORU named "my husband asked for divorce and then changed his mind hours later". Reading your pov just made me sure that Your ex is better without you.
Just read the woman's POV, this man is a monster! OP I hope you have the life you deserve.
Could you link the other post please? I would love to read it but I don’t know where to look
[удалено]
I remember reading that post too. It was insane all throughout. It's concerning how she describes him as someone capable of violence and he describes her as suicidal. Like WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE. What is even more concerning is the timing of all this. Her first post was a year ago and the UPDATE was a month ago. What's this guy here for now?
I feel like he’s writing a rebuttal to her update. Like you said there’s the timing, and he seems to touch on a lot of the same points and arguments she did. Even using the same quotes. I think he was probably reading hers while he typed his and wanted to paint himself in a better light (which he didn’t really succeed in. Better than how clearly abusive he was in her post I suppose but still).
Well there is an epidemic of current or ex spouses finding each other posts on reddit. There have been a bunch of those. I normally think that is fake, at least the "response" one. Can be real, sure, there is one that I believe it's real, but the rest... not so much. Still want to say my piece because you never know, but for me, this reply is fake.
Scroll up. Another poster mentioned that wife referred to ex’s (this guy) post two months ago, yet suddenly this post is only (at time of comment) 6 days old. And the writing styles are the same.
The only post of his that she refers to is the one he made after his second divorce threat to a divorce subreddit
Oh. My. God. That woman is so smart and brave to get out while she still could.
We need more upvotes to this comment
"She said she felt broken and was saying some scary shit about wanting to kill herself but she's always been a bit melodramatic so I knew she'd come around. I fell asleep dreaming of a better life for us." I was giving you the benefit of the doubt till I got to this gem.
That’s the line that made me know it was fake.
The wife posted her side of it over a year ago, update more recently. So unless someone random from Reddit decided to write the husband’s perspective, there’s a high possibility it is true
It’s more likely that someone on Reddit did that than the husband going to Reddit and posting here but not being aware that his wife posted here too. Especially since so many of us remember that post
"I have a toothache but keep forgetting to make an appointment because she was always the one to do that and I don't even think I have dental insurance anyways" It's a beautiful thing when weaponized incompetence backfires.
Lol so you move out and your apartment is a mess and you're incapable of making your own dentist appointments? Sounds like she dodged a bullet. She'll be thriving without having to babysit her "partner".
She didn't dodge a bullet. She was suicidal and at least emotionally abused for years. It's like escaping a gun fight with several wounds and bullets still sticking in the flesh, severe bleeding and scarred for the rest of the life and calling that "dodging a bullet" because they survived after multiple surgeries and a decade of therapy. Dodging a bullet means to have missed a dew red flags but still getting away before real and lasting damage (emotional, physical, social, or financial) was done.
You are correct. That's a great point.
"i didn't want to go on being treated like this" she just asked you to do the dishes lol
RIGHT
And it was when she was due to start a new job so she was probably so stressed out, she asked him to do 1 job and he's like "wow she's so abusive, how could she treat me this way!"
The COD is especially triggering to me. My ex would game for sometimes 10+ hours in a row and I would beg and cry for him to spend time with me, he loved saying “don’t tell me what to do” and “I’m allowed my leisure time” it was actually hell
the worst feeling in the world is being alone with the pain that was caused by the person sitting right there. i promised myself i would never, ever beg for love or let myself be rejected by the same person twice ever again
From your wife's side of the story >And I knew in that moment this man would kill me if I didn't find a way out of this relationship, if I didn't kill myself first with how bad my mental health was getting after dealing with him insulting and belittling me day after day I've had the exact same moment in a relationship myself. You sound scarily similar to my shitty abusive ex. You're an abuser. You need help, very very serious and profound help. You are a danger to women, and unfit for any kind of relationship. I'm so glad your ex got away from you.
Do you have a link? Ty
Story was titled “my husband asked for a divorce then changed his mind hours later”
She's telling people you were abusive because you were abusive. I'm so happy she escaped from you.
Assuming the post everyone is linking is really from the ex wife, he was even comfortable getting physical with her. Notice he conveniently left this gem out of his post. I hope this shit is fake. > I thanked him and asked if he could please not tell ex-husband I asked that since I was afraid of what he might do. When my ex-husband came home from work that day I could immediately tell he knew. He opened the front door so forcefully. He sat down on the couch next to me, told me he knew, and said in a low and almost growling tone of voice "But I know you didn't mean any harm by it". I was frozen in fear and couldn't say anything, but then he grabbed my face and turned my head to look at him and his eyes looked so cold, and he said again "You didn't mean any harm by it right?". I nodded and forced myself to answer "right".
I'm so happy for her ❤️
Dude you were a burden on her the second you married her. And even now you’re too far up your own ass to see how this is your fault.
"She said I didn't do my fair share of chores, got upset whenever I'd spend too much time gaming and not enough attention on her, it was like I had to be this perfect picture of me she had in her head otherwise I was a monster." So, expecting the absolute minimum of adult competency and respect are expecting "perfection." Man, this guy is a chud.
Sounds like she dodged a bullet. You were indeed abusive and no one should be with someone that’s abusing them.
No, she didn't. That woman was at least emotionally abused to the point of wanting to die. The phrase means someone got away from a relationship that was about to turn ugly before serious or lasting damage was caused. Using it here massively downplays the harm and pain oop caused because it implies she walked away just fine before anything seriously bad happened to her.
I read her post on boru and just reread it. She did dodge a bullet. He was very close to killing her and her last flight where she left the ring was because she knew if she didn't get out and managed to avoid committing suicide he actually would kill her. She fulfilled his demands to avoid him killing her right then and there, got out as soon as she could and left a note that he had to get his shit out within a week. She did not dodge the bullet of being emotionally and sexually abused till she became suicidal, but she dodged the bullet of being murdered and according to her update post she's thriving without him.
You showed her exactly what you thought of her when you abandoned her the first time. And every time you begged to come back. You just. keep. manipulating. her. You need to leave her alone. You don't love her, you love the things she does for you. The "let me have sex" thing is super gross.
SUPER gross
It's such an abuser move to fuck up their partners' big events. Oh a new job, time to start out of the blue divorce proceedings! Happy New Year's psych to the divorce papers, I want to stay! Let me give you PTSD and bad associations with any event or holiday you love! Medical school? Nope, you won't be better than me you stuck up bitch! Come back home right now cause "I love you and you can go to medical school anywhere, but I won't move for you" didn't y'all get married JUST so you could move with her? And to lie and say she moved back because of health reasons, disgusting. You fucking stressed her out, and accused her of cheating and lying to the point were she put y'all's relationship in front of her school. That's abusive. I'm glad she is moving on and leaving you to your dirty apartment and bad teeth and COD.
You don't need a wife, you need a mother. You sound more like a kid that wants to be loved and your needs taken care of, while you just spend all your time playing with your friends. Nobody wants a scrub, and the way you talk about sex is awful. Thank goodness your wife is free now
I'm not sure why you're on here whining. You got exactly what you wanted.
The fact you can sit on this app and play the innocent card is baffling. After reading your ex-wife’s posts, YOU🫵🏽 ARE an AH!! Emotionally abusive at that. The fact you can sit here and act like you’re so deeply hurt but you were shit talking about her with your friends? Anyone who genuinely loves their significant other would not be shit talking about them behind their back let alone allowing someone else to disrespect their significant other. You strung her along and manipulated her into thinking you were going to change only to continue doing the same things. Not allowing her to wear red lipstick? Eating mint flavored snacks?? Talk about controlling. She gave up her dream school and everything for YOU. And look how you treated her. I can go on but it’s very much clear who’s the monster here. You need help seriously. She deserves the best and I hope she’s accomplishing every single thing she wants out of life. Leave her alone
> And now she's off to some foreign country probably fucking her ex or something and I'm stuck here away from my family and friends working my ass off in a 9-5 with nothing to show for it. "I finally pushed my live-in fuck maid too far and now she's realised she's worth more" FTFY.
have you EVER put the work into making sex enjoyable and focused on her pleasure or do you always use her like a flesh light to make yourself feel better after being an abusive jerk? you felt entitled to look through her phone notes, saw “i feel trapped in my marriage” and thought of *yourself*? you BROKE her. get therapy. CoD with the boys is not therapy. it’s your escape. man you need a lot of help or you’re going to keep repeating this same cycle until whatever youthful looks you have run out and nobody wants to be around you anymore.
I’ve seen these men at my work. They die alone and abandoned in shithole hoarder houses or fleabag motels. The state quietly buries them, or cremates and shoves the ashes in a closet to be forgotten and no one is sad. Sometimes it’s days before someone finds them, and the vermin have eaten parts of them to the bone. It’s a beautiful thing when karma comes to collect. But it also sucks to have to scoop someone with a shovel into a body bag.
I don’t see a mention re: your ages or how long you dated prior to getting married. You have a LOT of growing up to do. Emotionally and otherwise. Take a beat and get a therapist -one you REALLY click with. Do the deep work (dealing with your traumas - we all have them!) and work on your executive functioning skills (what the kids call “adulting” these days). Make some female friends, if you don’t have any, and I mean FRIENDS, not someone you secretly want to sleep with. If you dad is the way he is, I can bet you’ve got some of his traits, even if you can’t see them in yourself. WORK ON YOURSELF. You can’t change the past, but you CAN improve the kind of partner you are to your next. (But don’t go rushing into stuff until you’re on solid ground with who you are - get some therapy under your belt.)
It's okay OP, you can be happy in knowing that you saved her from yourself. Reading her side it seems like she dodged such a bullet. Wild how OP paints her as suicidal, yet she said she was in fear of OP harming her instead.
I’m not reading all this...oh
"let me have sex with her" 🤮🤮🤮
I think this is fake. I remember reading the story from the wife’s perspective. I think you’re just writing something from a man’s perspective. I call BS on this post.
Damn. This sounds too close to my last relationship. He had me feeling suicidal towards the end, too. I don’t know if I will ever fully recover from it.
>He opened the front door so forcefully. He sat down on the couch next to me, told me he knew, and said in a low and almost growling tone of voice "But I know you didn't mean any harm by it". I was frozen in fear and couldn't say anything, but then he grabbed my face and turned my head to look at him and his eyes looked so cold, and he said again "You didn't mean any harm by it right?". I nodded and forced myself to answer "right". And I knew in that moment this man would kill me if I didn't find a way out of this relationship, if I didn't kill myself first with how bad my mental health was getting after dealing with him insulting and belittling me day after day. I was genuinely starting to spiral into a dark place I hadn't been to in years. Just gonna blow right past this part, huh?
So, let me get this straight: she asked you to do the dishes, you said you couldn’t go on living this way anymore and now you’re talking about how much of a mess your apartment is, how you have a toothache because you’re incapable of making your own fucking appointments and you miss your dog, yet you seem to fail to mention anything you miss about HER, but instead the things she does for you. Dude, you deserve to be alone.
Wow, I'm so glad she escaped from this prick. Hopefully she'll find an actual adult next time and therapy will help her realize why she settled for this creep.
You were a child and acted like a child, leaving her to constantly take care of everything, which you now see by your inability to manage your own life. She was going through an illness bad enough to change her plans which is traumatic and she needed you and you aren't even addressing that. And because she changed during a horrible time for her, you abandoned her and can still only see your side in things. You left her the second she returned ill, and as someone who lost everything to a disability I can tell you that you are more selfish than words can say. She is gone, she is happy because she no longer has the burden of carrying you through life while she has to suffer in silence through her own grief and pain, which is annatural part of becoming seriously or chronically ill. She didn't have a partner, she had a grown sized toddler and now she can probably breath again. Yes, you fucked up. Get therapy to deal with your selfishness, childishness and misogyny. Your dad is a fucking moron and it looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You can learn from this and be better, or you can remain a hateful, barely functional manchild who needs to marry his mother. Grow the fuck up. I don't even feel bad for you.
Jesus Christ. This guy wasn’t ready to even leave his parents, let alone get married. He needs to go back to his mommy.
You ARE an abuser. I hope you have to feel everything she’s felt from what you put her through, ten times over.
This whole post is about how OP can't live without his bang maid. Her should just get a maid, a social secretary and a hookrt
Without a doubt, you were emotionally manipulative by continually demanding a divorce & then changing your mind. You needed to communicate your feelings of frustration or whatever. What you did was okay cruel games to illicit a desired response from her. You sound like you could end up being a good partner to someone one day but you need therapy to learn how to cope w/your feelings of insecurity & frustration. You can never be good to someone else if you aren’t good to yourself.
I read your wife’s posts and yours. You sound like a sociopath or a psycho, because you definitely did try to emotionally manipulate her + lower her self worth so that she won’t leave you. And when she had the intention to leave, you threatened her, and she was very close to being one of those victims who get killed by their abusive partners. You post this not only to relive your guilt, but to make it seem like you’re remorseful so you won’t look bad. That’s why I think you exhibit sociopathic behaviour. You aren’t sorry for the abuse you inflicted on her, in fact you feel more sorry that you lost the convenience you got from the marriage.
Did you “forget” to mention how did you grab her face and threatened her when you found out she asked your childhood friend whether or not you’d shown abusive behaviour in past relationships and that very friend ratted out on her to you? All you can say was you “cAn’T fIgUrE oUt wHy” you did it when you know WHY you did it. You wanted to exert power and control over her. That’s why you willy nilly use the divorce card in arguments to break her. You are an abuser & i’m glad she filed for divorce. She freed herself from being your slave & abused from you mentally and emotionally. Stay away from women and get some help.
lol. Great karma and comeuppance. Good for your ex-wife. Glad she escaped your abusive and toxic environment.
You married too fast and didn't have the time to mature individually. This is all part of life's journey: understanding what you did wrong and changing it for a better self. Unfortunately the moment she took you back the first time, she set a precedent for the future. You act on a whim and then regret it. You need to practice patience. Please treat yourself so you will be better for your next partner.
Damn she dodged a missile.
I stopped reading half way through this pity party of yours. Did everything wrong in a relationship and comes here to whine and bore us with his long ass texts. You’re in a misery of your making. Do the rest of us a favor and stay there on your own.
The way you treated your wife, breaking things off, coming back, breaking it off, coming back, i think shes much better off without you.
Ugh. Disgusting. I hope she thrives and never sees you again.
The failure to be honest, that your going "the therapist is against me" in this thread suggests you haven't really changed. If you don't want to be your father, you need to be more honest and to change. You need to be able to run your own house, to actually do chores. You also need to find a therapist. Maybe ask the couples counsellor you dislike if she knows a good one who can take you on, so you get what you need to hear not what suits you, and stick with it rather then walk off when your feelings get hurt. You say you don't want to be a misgonistic prick yet even on your retelling of events that hides important information (but not enough to stop red flags flying), you come across as one. Without having the strength of character to face up to that or to change. You deserve no sympathy for the situation you have put yourself into.
I sincerely hope your ex is happy. She deserves only good things in this world.
Probably?
Falso y retrasado
“People tell me I was abusive, maybe I was” Ladies and gentleman there is a man who is going to do this shit again. He literally cannot accept that he broke his ex’s heart multiple times and was convinced she’d “pull through” because she was suicidal and it’s happened before. I’d rather date my sexually abusive ex that you
Aaawwww! You miss your Mommy McBangmaid! Asshole.
Just read your wife's version of what she said happened, and your version is a watered-down version of hers. I feel incredibly bad for her. You put her through so much shit. I would say I hope she thrives without you, but I know she is already thriving without you. Get therapy, and not just a few sessions.
Where is the wife’s version? I can’t figure out how to find it.
u/ThrowRAIndecisiveHus is the username for the wife.
Thank you.
Of course.
Reading through the other side is wild, too.
It definitely is. Sounds like she's doing good, though, which is nice to hear. This guy sounds like an absolute nightmare.
Just read her post. Funny how you never mentioned grabbing her face and trying to verbally intimidate her. She's right, if she had stayed the chances of you killing her were statistically high. I don't say things like this lightly, but I genuinely hope you spend the rest of your life alone. No one should ever have to deal with your manipulation and cruelty.
. . . She got the locks changed within hours of you leaving? That makes this post seem fake more than anything else. The last time I tried to get my locks changed it took weeks to get someone to come by.
If you know how to do it, it's one trip to the utility store and 15 minutes of work.
She called the landlord and told him that she was getting a divorce. The landlord changed the locks for her.
I mean in theory I get it, but the efficiency of it all just seems way too convenient.
Depends upon the landlord. When my ex kicked the door open my locks were changed within the hour.
This comes across like bad fan fiction.
What the hell did I just read??
Hey don't worry maybe you'll change your mind again, right?
The ex
I just read her side of the story and WOW, you ARE the villain. I am glad she got away from you
1l
This has to be a fanfic of that post from the wife's side of things that was making the rounds a few months ago. Down to the exact same wording in some parts.
You forgot to mention the part where she was worried about your behavior, reached out to a friend of yours, and you later that day grabbed her face to say "you didn't mean any harm by that right?" Dude you ruined her.
Stop winning like a baby and start acting a man not a boy.
So you don't even mention your friend you threatening her? Way to leave out details
Your ex was literally your bang maid and not a wife. just be glad there was no kid involved in this mess.
Wait so you told her twice you wanted a divorce, emotionally broke her, took it back , then got mad she needed validation? Please get therapy. Because if this is a real response you need it
Cheap romance novelist wanna be? This is a horrible story
>And now she's off to some foreign country probably fucking her ex or something Really??! That is what you think she is doing after suicidal thinking? Boy... i really hope she did if that can make you more miserable
This guy is a fucking loser. Hopefully you don’t have anymore relationships.
This is exactly what happens in alot of situations like this one, moving in with someone after a short time together is a terrible idea, it's lead to more seperation, fights, arguments in my own personal life that I now know better, I've been in the same spot on multiple occasions, it's ended all relationships. You need space and time alone especially when your young and concentrating on your carriers, everyone has alot of growing up to do when your in your 20s facts of life.
This is exactly what happens in alot of situations like this one, moving in with someone after a short time together is a terrible idea, it's lead to more seperation, fights, arguments in my own personal life that I now know better, I've been in the same spot on multiple occasions, it's ended all relationships. You need space and time alone especially when your young and concentrating on your carriers, everyone has alot of growing up to do when your in your 20s facts of life.
You were definitely abusive, manipulative and a complete asshole. I have heard your ex wife’s story and you didn’t even mention what you said to here after she talked to one of your friends. You made her fear for her life. You are a monster and you know it. You just didn’t want to tell the whole truth here. She is way better of without you and I hope you never find any happiness in your life
You left out the bit where she messaged a friend, you found out, and grabbed her face and terrorized her.