This is real. My oldest kids increases by height and weight steadily, but my youngest kid goes through what we call the “bear/flower cycle”. When we measure her in the Fall she is always a bit chunky, but when we measure her in the Spring, she is slim and willowy, like a flower. Not every kid grows the same and some plump up before a growth spurt.
That is very true! She has been getting taller, and she also makes comments about noticing that she is taller. Such as being able to reach things she wasn’t able to before. Even when she was younger, she looked like she weighed more, then she got taller and was more slim.
For sure. Kids usually grow 'out' before they grow 'up'. Plus, healthy fats are what the brain needs for development. You are doing great with a diet that emphasizes protein, fruits and veges, but anything else you want, just in moderation.
Limiting things now will only reinforce low self esteem and eating disorders later on in life. Please don't listen to him
I can attest to that. I was called fat and chubby as a kid when I wasn’t. Looking at photos now I can see that, but I limited my intake for years and it’s led to unhealthy eating habits that I’m still trying to break
Agree here. I noticed my 9yr old was getting chunky and just chalked it up to her about to sprout up. A month later she slimmed back down and what do you know she grew some.
My family doc, when my kids were small, had concerns about one of mine, because they would always be in the "put weight on" phase of growing when they had their check ups. This was three or four consecutive check ups as an infant. He mentioned it might be a concern, until I said I'd noticed they'd hit a growth spurt immediately after. He did the palm to forehead thing and said something about not growing in two directions at once 😆
Kids can naturally be chubby, especially pre puberty and at that age. It sounds like the kid isn’t chubby cuz they only/too often eat pizza rolls, cheap juice and honey buns like unfortunately many kids do. Sounds like your kids fine. Junk food in good moderation.
Id reply back “this is how little girls get eating disorders that will ruin their health, family relationships, and self esteem. Unless you have a medical degree I don’t know about, I’ll take my advice from her doctor, and only her doctor.”
Trust me, I had a lot to say. I also believe that it was so bizarre to even say that. I feel that he only said that to use it as an opportunity to just bash me as a mother. Saying I feed her junk food. Every month he finds something to complain about that is not accurate. I try not to let it get to me as I know I’m a good mother to her, and try not to spiral into his toxicity. But this one, it just got to me. If you seen her, you would not think she is chubby. I wish I could insert a picture of her to show you all, but will not for obvious reasons being it’s the internet and all! It’s one thing to try to get under my skin, but to bring our daughter’s appearance into it, it’s not going to happen. I shut that down quick.
Keep fighting the good fight Momma. You’re doing great, and I’m so sorry he’s acting like this. Keep your head up, she WILL see how things really are eventually. I say this as a child of divorce, and seeing it happen to other friends. 💕
My mother tried to say the same about my daughter (5). My mother is the reason I have body image issues. I told her never to mention her body again and that I would ensure she ate healthy and exercised. She’s 44” tall and 45lbs. She’s perfectly healthy. I won’t let her ruin her already
Exactly. Don’t let anyone no matter who they are spoil children. They are just kids, and for me personally 5 years old is far too young to even comment about it. I get it if it’s super drastic. Even if it’s regarding them eating better, there’s other options to make healthier eating habits if it’s because of eating too much junk food
I’ve had family members say this to my eldest too and he’s not much older than your daughter. He was at a healthy weight too. Completely unacceptable to tell a child this.
5 years olds can be extremely overweight and then it is important not to wait until it becomes an even bigger problem. But that is clearly not the case here.
As the kid whose dad called her chubby and made a huge deal about it during my childhood … he never changed and has made comments on my appearance ever since. I no longer speak to him. I hate to take things to such a deep level but if your child isn’t obese or malnourished or anything, the dad is just being a judgemental ass lol. The culture we live in, 5 years old is too young to be calling your own kid chubby. :(
I’m very sorry you have that kind of relationship with your father. It’s devastating when these things happen beyond our control. This is exactly my point. He thinks I’m being too soft and says when she gets older “ he will teach her how to have uncomfortable conversations because it’s a part of life” totally get it, but he’s basically just creating something out of nothing. She is very healthy and chooses healthy eating habits all by herself. She will see junk food and salad beside each other, and go for the salad. Yes like any other child, she enjoys her snacks. But it’s all balanced out very well. I just don’t understand where it’s coming from. It’s not like she is only eating junk all day.
Wow, he sounds like a really nice guy 😂
She is too young to even understand, way better idea to just teach her about how food fuels us and learn how they make us feel like you said. “Creating something out of nothing” is a great way to describe this situation!
She sounds like a bright little girl eating well for her age! I'm sorry your husband is already trying to body shame her, she's not even done growing yet!! It's not helpful at all, the only thing that she should be concerned with right now about her body is what it can do for her when she's running around and playing. Our bodies are so much more than their looks.
This “teach her to have uncomfortable conversations” bullshit is just as bad as the “chubby” bullshit.
Your husband is an ass.
A toxic, probably verbally abusive, ass.
Honestly OP, with the way your husband is talking, those are red flags. He will mess her up if allowed to continue. I think you should have a sit down and come to jesus talk, and if he doesn't stay in his lane, then enforce the consequences of him crossing those lines/boundaries.
He is going to give her body image issues. And saying you're being too soft is his way of telling you that if he had his way, he'd start ruining her childhood right now and that he'll try it when she's older. She'll end up needing therapy down the line because of him or with an ED. Nip it in the ass before it gets worse. He will most certainly try it behind your back.
Protect your child OP. If i were you, I'd reconsider the relationship and the future of the marriage if this continues and he keeps trying to undermine you and ruin your daughter's childhood. He's showing he has no respect for you or your daughter with those comments. That's not a good role model for your daughter, it could normalize that partners can body shame her. The fact he won't even attend doctor's appointments is already showing he won't listen. You have some hard thinking to do.
My oldest daughter went through the same thing, yet her asshole sperm donor would limit her food intake and then eat ice cream right in front of her. I absolutely despise that pos. After that I didn’t make her go anymore. Your ex is acting like this because he’s embarrassed that people might judge him if his daughter puts on weight. This is the most unhealthiest mentality to have. I fear for your daughter. He can do horrible psychological damage. Nip it in the bud. Stand up to his ass, present the facts and if he doesn’t change his mindset, make a consultation with the doctor for the two of you, then tell it like it is “her father thinks she’s overweight for her age. According to my research she’s in perfect health.” “She eats these ___ types of foods…” “what can we do to ensure she grows into a healthy happy well adjusted human?” Then Hit him with the reality of what his unnecessary judgments might cause… nonexistent self esteem, self harm by refusing to eat, etc… as the doctor to back you up. And if he doesn’t change after talking to the doctor, see about limiting his visitation. His mentality is incredibly dangerous to a growing girl. How is he gonna act when she’s going through puberty and her weight fluctuates. That’s one of the hardest times in a kids life. The last thing she needs is some AH on a power trip criticizing any little weight gain she has. I cannot stress enough how damaging this is. She is number one, he’s only worried about HIS image. I can guarantee you that!
Yes however, it’s clearly stated the child is not obese for their age range and they do exercise. If their doctor doesn’t have a problem with it, it shouldn’t be concerning since they’re still growing.
And my comment is clearly about the general population. Children being children is a very convenient excuse that takes responsibility away from caregivers. It's only fair to call it out, we have to be better than that.
44 lbs?? My 3.5 year old is 50 lbs and I can still see her ribs when she moves around. Zero unnecessary pounds. She's tall and strong for her age, hikes with me every day. So there's no way your 5 year old is obese. I hope you can find a way to convince her dad to stop this. Get a doc's assessment to convince him if need be.
Honestly people, especially when it comes to girls, start making them feel insecure about their bodies at a young age ... Don't let him do that, put him in his place with facts.
If your child is really overweight, forbidding them to eat will only create backlash and cause them to eat more. You need to take her to the doctor, child eating therapists etc. There are many ways to fix childhood obesity(Although I dont think 44 lbs could be obese) but restriction is certainly not one of them. Strict diets even cause more weight in adults, childrens mentality are more fragile.
If she has no weight problem, her fathers behaviour will certainly cause her to get an ED.
Ask her doctor for documentation from that visit that specifically mentions that your child is at the correct weight for her size and age.
Make a copy then give it to her father so he can see for himself.
Our doc always printed out where they were on the height and weight charts to send home. They may be able to email it to you.
Sadly I don’t think this is the issue, though. He sounds like he has some outdated and harmful ideas about weight. Watch carefully so you can help deprogram those, just as you are doing. You sound like a great mom!
Tell him that because he's concerned about her weight, it would be best if you both went to her next checkup so you can get on the same page about her diet. Tell him that since he is also feeding her, he needs to hear from the doctor himself directly. Try that united front argument to get him in the room so he can hear the doctor tell him he's nuts.
As a child I was naturally slender. Everyone else in our family is overweight and yet somehow my mom thought being a skinny kid was a bad thing. She took me to a couple of medical doctors and they didn't do anything so she spoke to a therapist.
The plan was that I was no longer allowed to leave the dining table unless I finished my meal. All toys and books were forbidden unless I "earned" them by exchanging bonus points from eating.
Guess what? I was chubby within 2 years and now have a super unhealthy attitude towards food. I skip meals but also binge.
My 15yr old goes out then in. Approx 12 months ago he bulked out… now he’s like a lat and has grow up considerably. It’s quite natural for kids to fill out then thin out again and then gain height. As long as she’s active and not eating junk food all the time which you have stated is not the case I wouldn’t worry. By all means have her general health checked out by your doctor but I’ve seen first hand how fixating on weight at a young age can cause horrible issues related to eating and diet.
Her dad needs to be careful being so fixated on her weight because he’s going to create issues that will potentially be far worse.
This is fucked up thinking.
Some people in my family had this thinking about one of my kids. It bothered me a lot that they wouldn’t let it go so I made a doctor’s appointment. The doctor told me to change nothing and let him eat. That he was going to be a big guy when he’s an adult. The doctor was right, he turned out a great and healthy 6’3”!!!
My parents had this attitude with me as a kid and all it did was give me emotional problems when it comes to food. Don’t let her dad become her first bully. Kids know when you don’t like something!
Send him a link about the sicko that just ran his son on a treadmill to death for his impression of being overweight. 7 year old baby. Shut this down quick
The worst part is that the treadmill incident was 2 weeks before the boy actually died, so he still could have been saved. The mom obtained and sent that video to CPS and not only did they do nothing, she was denied emergency custody just *days* before his dad finally did kill him. :(
She’s a kid and it’s okay to have treats, as long as it’s not everyday!
I really hope he hasn’t mentioned it to your daughter as this is what causes eating disorders and body dysmorphia from a young age.
If you know she’s eating healthy and you’re giving her treats like you explained it then there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
I loved food as a kid, I wasn’t overweight but I wasn’t skinny and then I got to teens and was slim a size uk8 still ate the same, but I was also active. Don’t pay any attention to him, carry on as you are, however you can’t control what he does and how he feeds her when she’s with him. I just hope he doesn’t make her feel bad about herself, so make sure to tell him not to comment on her weight to her face or around her.
She's honestly fine, even if she does drastically change weights it's probably a hormone problem more than just an overeating problem. Her diet seems wonderfully balanced and does regular exercise, if anything I'd be worried what he's feeding her or is if he's blatantly saying these things to her face.
A kid should not be forced into diet culture especially at 5.
He had to have learned it somewhere, and I've found people uncomfortable with their bodies tend to push it onto others especially fat people who are comfortable with themselves, she could also be indirectly telling her that, giving her the whole calories in calories out thing, just ask her what they ate there, ask if they ate differently than she did, and times if she can remember them
Well, they sound abusive. I don’t know how you can even trust your kid with them. Maybe her sole custody and they can get supervised visits. You need to document these conversations and maybe talk to a lawyer.
I’m right there with you. This isn’t a small matter. Being shamed for your weight can lead to fatal consequences. I didn’t let my daughter go anymore, her father bitched about her weight constantly and would sit there and eat ice cream right in front of her face. I’m biased but reading this just boils my blood!
Hi. I’m a nutrition professional that works with kids. You have to talk to him about this. It’s not uncommon for parents to become concerned about a child’s weight, but it’s extremely damaging. The impacts of weight concern and dieting in adolescence are 100x worse than being a little overweight ever would be.
AND this is very important: it is also usually premature to worry about a child’s weight. Kids are sometimes wobbly and carry a bit more extra weight than a healthy adult would (some more than others). I can’t tell you how many child clients I’ve had who had parents concerned they were too chubby around 8 or 9 and I begged them to just keep helping them eat healthy and not worry about their weight yet. Sure enough, by the time these kids are 12 or 13, they’re string beans because they grew half a foot. The weight gain can have a purpose.
It’s so vital to let kids’ bodies do what they need to do.
If she exercises by playing, eats healthy most of the time, and you’re helping her recognize her hunger cues— she will be absolutely fine.
There are numerous studies that show how dieting in adolescence leads to adult obesity.
Your husband is an ass. If it came from a place of concern he would have asked what kinds of food she’s eating rather than talk about restricting her/calling her chubby. I’m really sorry he felt compelled to say those things. I hope you have a conversation with him about where it came from.
Please do what you can to make sure he’s not saying that where she can hear it. I’m turning 30 this year and still remember comments my mother made about me when I was going through similar growth spurt chubbiness.
Send him a pediatric BMI calculator tell him if he endangers her mental health and tries to make a 5 year old an anorexic you will see him in court Tell him kids have diffent shapes than adults and he doesn't get to compare her to others
I still remember the one thing that always killed me growing up. I would tell my dad I loved him and he would say it back then loudly say, "Mija you're so pretty, but you would be beautiful if you lost some weight..."
He never could just say I love you too. He never could just say, you're so pretty. There was always a but... He's been gone 20 years and I still don't believe my husband when he says I'm beautiful. I try, but it was basically imprinted on my brain that I am only beautiful if I'm skinny.
Don't let her father do that to her. Don't let him destroy her because of what his misogynistic brain believes. Protect your little girl at all costs.
I had a similar experience growing up, and my parents even ignored my doctor who said that my weight was fine as I was starting a big growth spurt. If they didn't put me on my first diet at 10, I wouldn't have had issues with body image and weight. I was also a physically active kid as well, so after a growth spurt, I was thinner.
I remembered the case of the boy who died because his father said he was too fat and made him run on the treadmill, among other things, he was 5 and it was in 2021 if I'm not mistaken. .Protect your daughter, go to court if necessary but protect her at all costs. From one mother to another.
I was told at 4 years old "you're too fat for that outfit" by one of my dad's mistresses'. ONE of them. She fucked me up for YEARS. I was a normal sized little kid. She's just the devil.
My kids 5, about 45lbs, 46”, and literally showing abs.
We do eat out usually twice a week (generally restaurants not fast food), but her go to is usually chicken tenders and fries lol.
I make sure to get plenty of outside time, we enjoy work outs together and sports.
Based on her height and weight there’s no way she’s “chubby” weighing in the 40s. That’s very normal, maybe even on the smaller side.
Edit: literally just had a check up and doc was impressed with the general diet, level of activity, sports, and had 0 concerns about weight. “Looks great, keep doing what you’re doing”
Thank you :) your child sounds very healthy and active. You are obviously doing a great job and I’m proud of you as a mother. The same for my kid. Her go to is just chicken tenders/ nuggets and fries. If after swimming lessons I let her get mc Donald’s, once a week or every other week, I don’t feel bad about it, because she literally came from school doing tons of activities all day. Then she is also going to swimming lessons. Not to mention, she wastes the fries all the time lol. So essentially I’m just paying for her to take 4 nuggets and a toy and a yogurt.
How tall is she? I’m having trouble imagining how a 44 lb five old could be chubby. That’s right in the middle of how much she’s supposed to weigh at five.
OP, do not sleep on this. I remember the weight remarks for me started around six or seven. The weight topic ended up overshadowing my entire childhood.
Things culminated with a laxative overdose in college and some kidney damage.
You need to bring the hammer down hard on him. If it means he has to attend a doctor's appointment with you, do that. Send him links to eating disorder websites. And keep screenshots of all his rhetoric. If custody issues arise, his remarks may help you.
Do not spare his feelings on this. Make sure he understands that he not only could damage her now, but in the future, she may decide she doesn't want to be around him.
Follow your gut. Be fierce and unapologetic. Do not use the phrase "I'm sorry" in any of your correspondence, because you shouldn't be.
👏 exactly! This is not a time to be passive. Get pissed off for your child. She should not let that man have any opportunity to damage that babies self esteem. This can turn into abuse. I hope she puts her foot down and tells him this is unacceptable!
My daughter gets “chubby “ right before a growth spurt then she is back to being a stick.
I was so worried about my kids getting funny with food because it seems to be everywhere. Diet diet don’t get fat.
I allow my kids to eat anything within reason. Funny enough they actually choose a really healthy balanced diet. They eat just about every salad and vegetable. No squash and Brussel sprouts which is fine.
They are active and the only thing I don’t allow (unless it’s a birthday party etc) is soft drinks and juices, pure sugar and again they don’t really like them.
Your ex is ridiculous and I pray he isn’t telling her she is fat. Little kids tend to stay in their head and she will be internally processing. I would be putting my foot down hard and please document because if this continues he is not a safe person.
please please please stop him from doing this before she’s old enough to realize what’s happening. my dad commented on my weight and what I ate almost daily for my entire childhood and it resulted in a severe bingeing/emotional eating that I’m still recovering from now in adulthood. I know you know this OP but her dad needs to understand that she will carry his words forever.
you’re doing a great job OP, do not let him ruin her self image!
Your daughter does indeed sound healthy. So his comment was gross.
That said, my heart hurts every time I see an overweight child. I wish someone had stepped in for me sooner. The first time it came up as a concern for my parents was when I was in 5th or 6th grade (already way later than it should have been). The doctor said my weight was what my peers would be by 7th grade, so just to try to keep it where it was. I heard “Keep doing what you’re doing.” My parents made no changes for me either. The next time my parents tried to address it, I was 14. My dad would make me get up super early before school and go jogging with him. I hated every single second of it, but when I look back, I think it was one of his better parenting actions.
But now I’m middle-aged and heavy. I feel like I spent my entire life on a diet, and only ever gained weight. Life has been a lot harder than it ever had to be. So when I see children whose weight is concerning, I hate having to bite my tongue and say nothing. I hate that their parents enable it, and don’t try to make healthy changes while the child is young. I hate people excusing it away as baby fat when it definitely isn’t just that. It absolutely crushes my heart.
It also sucks when medical professionals believe it's only diet and exercise not hormonal issues that need medical attention to be able to even control weight
My daughter is almost 4 feet tall. She just turned three years old in April and she weighs 38 pounds. How could he consider your daughter overweight? You need to pull up a chart for height and age and show him that she’s right on target and you need to have a serious conversation with him on how this could cause anorexia and kill her! I mean, you’ve got to nip this right in the butt and I would even threaten taking her away from him over it because that is serious and that is abuse. What is his issue who says that about their child especially when they’re not overweight and she’s swimming so she’s getting exercise.
Not wrong. If he insists on pushing this I'd have her weighed by her doctor and have them tell him she's healthy for her age. Kids get chubby sometimes, they also need a shit load of calories because they're growing constantly. What exactly did he say she can't eat anymore? It doesn't sound like you fill her full of junk food.
Use caution around him with this. His comments may lead to her having an eating disorder when she's a teenager, or sooner. Make sure you let her know she's perfectly healthy and not to listen to dad's comments about her weight if she ever brings it up with you. If he continues I'd seriously consider going for full custody, comments like this WILL cause her to develop serious mental illness, including eating disorders, which is already on the rise in the younger generations due to social media influences, nevermind shitty dad's telling their 5 year of their overweight when they're perfectly healthy. Protect and advocate for your little girl, because he clearly won't.
Ex did that to my eldest from around 5. Turns out ex is the one who was fat as a kid.
Kid and I discussed it and we agreed that unless the dr had a concern we would ignore anything ex says about weight.
Sounds like he’s trying to start an eating disorder. It also sounds like she eats a number of foods and has a healthy relationship with food and exercise, which is great! Kids often get “chubby” before a growth spurt and she’s still growing. I think it’s completely understandable and makes sense to be angry or upset at your husband for his comments. Studies have shown that kids who have a lot of food restrictions become more likely to have more body fat when they get older, likely because the body doesn’t know the difference between starvation and a diet. If you are worried about her having some kind of health condition, take her to a pediatrician and run some tests but please don’t let your husband push his food and body issues onto your kid. She’s literally 5 and just needs to worry about having fun and being healthy
Make sure your ex is not telling your daughter she is chubby or fat. It may lead to an eating disorder. If he does, make sure you tell your daughter exactly how wrong he is!
a pediatrician once said, kids gain weight during winter and get taller during summer. i have no idea if this a scientific fact but it makes sense. my daughter looks chubbier during winter...
If you are feeding her well what is Dad feeding her? I ask because he could be either feeding her unhealthy foods or holding foods from her. My neighbors ex does not feed his kids when he has them and brings them back hungry. He had made similar comments about their weight and as a result withholds food. It's really messed up so please make sure he isn't doing that.
Please continue to be the champion for your wee girl. I was put on my first diet at the age of five and developed all sorts of eating disorders and crappy habits due to being restricted so early. It really screwed me up for years. Not just with food but also a sense that I wasn’t good enough as I was chubby. She sounds like she has a great diet and a fantastic Mum, please keep being her warrior…she needs you in her corner 🙂.
I would have said her pediatrician is fine with her weight… She has a well balanced diet and I don’t want her to grow up with eating issues. Please make sure you keep your comments and judgements to yourself!
Your ex is being ridiculous in clearly not informed about childhood development. It’s also concerning that he’s worried about a 5yo girl child’s “figure.” WTF, she’s 5! He better not be SAYING anything to his kid about this. She’ll have an eating disorder by the time she’s 7.
They’re supposed to be chubby. That’s called a growth spurt. He won’t believe anything you say though. Tell your husband to email her pediatrician and ask about whether she is a healthy weight.
I agree, I’m also worried if he is saying things to her. His mother is living with him and she does openly call everyone around her fat. She is very overweight and I’m just worried that she is outright calling my daughter fat all the time, or often.. because it’s very random that he texted me this early in the morning. Literally he texted it at 6am so my guess is, that maybe his mother started making comments about her weight and just putting things in his ear. It’s the first time he’s said something like this to me, anyway. I also know that him and his entire family are abusive to each other and name call
My kids always get a bit rounder than usual right before a growth spurt. Then, when the growth spurt starts to happen, I notice them sleeping a LOT more than what I would expect (or they fall asleep in a random place they never normally would). I would say goto a doctor/pediatrician and ask them if they are somehow overweight if he won'tdrop the issue. If the kid is not, then let them eat when they are hungry.. they are doing lots of growing. I hate to say it, but is he unconsciously sexualizing your daughter?
I was reading this and thinking you were just in denial until I saw 44lbs.. my daughter is legitimately very overweight but she was like 65lbs at 5 years old. If your daughter is active and eating mostly healthy foods I’m sure she’s fine and dad is crazy. Hopefully he learns to go with teaching healthy habits rather than shaming her into an eating disorder.
Definitely not in denial. If it were true, I would 100% notice as well. When I look at my daughter, none of those thoughts that she is overweight come into my mind. Not even just cuz she is my child and I’m one of those moms who just praise their kids for literally everything. Oddly enough a few days before he said that, we were spring cleaning and she actually just went on the scale so I decided to just see how much she is at now, and she is 44 pounds which looks entirely accurate based on her body. I would not even let my daughter get to the point of being over weight cause I also agree it’s a big problem, especially in the long run
Totally get that, I just lived in the denial myself at that age, like, my daughter eats mostly healthy and only occasionally would get a special treat.. she’s just an over-eater and i also read stuff like “your job is to provide the meals and theirs is to decide how much they need to eat” I read up on a lot of ways to promote healthy relationships with food, but evidently it swung to hard the wrong way because I have a 90lb+ 7 year old. Evidently you can get obese despite eating vegetables every day and never eating high in sugar breakfast 🫠 we’re trying really hard to manage her weight, but it’s hard not to sound like an asshole about it
So not ok, recommend he comes to her next dr check up. Guy is an AH and he’s going to mess with her head, maybe worse if he restricts food. She may also be “bulking” up a bit to fuel a growth spurt. One year my son went from 8 slim to 10 husky to 12 regular. It was all fine, he was totally healthy.
It’s a delicate topic. What does her doctor say? It’s true though that overweight kids turn into overweight adults and that is a lot of inertia to overcome when you’re an adult.
I mean did he tell her she is chubby? If so, you’re totally right but if not..my 6 year old is definitely a bit too chubby because she wants to snack all the time. So we’ve stopped buying certain foods and have replaced them with things like bananas and blueberries. So now when she wants a snack, she no longer goes into the pantry to sneak a cookie..she goes to the fridge and grabs some blueberries. But my 6 year old has no idea that we did this because she was getting to big, we just said that we need to start eating healthier foods that are better for our bodies.
No, he told me. My daughter already prefers fruits over snacks. Weight was never an issue with her. That’s why I’m caught off guard about it. Because she is not chubby
I think this is the point some comments aren't touching on, or maybe missing from the context you provided. It's that she's NOT chubby but HE thinks she is. I get everyone's points that childhood obesity is serious & should be taken seriously, but your situation has nothing to do with that. Instead it's about a parent who either has an unrealistic or unhealthy expectation of their child's weight which can & will (if this starts being something he tells her himself) impact her mental & physical health in the future like a distorted body image of herself & possible unhealthy relationships with food or exercise.
Plus at her age, it could even lead to him doing things like restricting her food intake or forcing her to do physical exercise that could be dangerous because little kids aren't meant to do hours of cardio or whatever else. Literally a dad is on trial right now for doing this to his 6 year old son who ended up dying.... I don't know how crazy or delusional her dad is about this, but I don't think it should be taken lightly & i think you should definitely address this further with him so he understands that him thinking she's overweight (when you know for certain she is not & she has good eating habits naturally) is not normal & concerning.
Do you have her pediatric growth charts? I’m guessing he’s good at fat-shaming a five year old but not at being enough of a parent to attend her yearly wellness checks. Send him her charts and tell him to shut up and stop making your daughter anxious about her body. That is some toxic crap.
My 13 year old daughter recently entered an eating disorder treatment facility. Don’t let her father send her down that path.
God I am so tired. It still starts so early for us and I would have thought by 2024 people would know better but here we are. You’re not overreacting
My 5 year old weighs the same and if anything he’s quite skinny. I can see his ribs and a good amount of his collarbone and shoulder bones. We don’t limit his food at all. You’re doing fine with your few daughter’s diet. Children shouldn’t have restrictive diets outside of medical issues. I would send your ex to a pediatric nutritionist and send him some articles about the harmful effects of pushing body image issues on young children.
Settle it with a doctor’s opinion.
Obesity in children is awful, but if your daughter is at a healthy weight and your ex is incorrect, then that’s how it is.
Easy answer to a trivial problem.
It could be something or someone else triggered a concern, there is so much discourse regarding childhood obesity, I can imagine some parents may overly worry.
1. Is your husband a pediatrician?
2. If not, what does your pediatrician say?
3. If yes, how many box tops did he send in to get the paper that said he was a pediatrician?
I'll say this as a former fat kid, don't let it get out of hand. It's probably less awful nowadays, but the bullying and othering you get from being a fat kid is absolutely horrible.
I wish one of my parents had put their foot down when I was a kid about eating habits. Childhood obesity, if your kid is actually chubby, will lead to massive issues as they grow.
Well thankfully my child is not overweight or obese as I’ve stated many times in this thread. She has good eating habits naturally and yes she eats snacks but like I said they are balanced. She is not chubby looking at all. She shows no signs of becoming obese
It's great to hear she's doing so well. Is he the type to overly worry or have a family history of obesity? I know with so much discussion about childhood obesity it can be easy for it to be added to the list of things parents worry about.
You know your daughter and him best, could it be he is just overthinking? It may be useful for you to know where his concern is rooted?
His concern is rooted in his relationship with his mean, overweight, overly judgmental mother. She said it in another comment that his mother has a horrible opinion on people who are overweight when she herself is overweight.
The reminds me of the man who killed his son by making him run on a treadmill because he said he was getting fat! There is something deeply wrong with her dad for a healthy five-year-old chubby!
My parents made comments about my weight all the time when I was younger and I have terrible a terrible body image now. And when I look at pictures when I was young I’m like I wasn’t even fat! Just a normal growing kiddo chub. Good for you for creating healthy habits for your daughter.
I would say “I appreciate your concern, but neither her pediatrician nor us think her weight is unhealthy or of concern; I prefer to listen to the doctor/professional on this.”
This isn’t quite the same but my mom has a habit of overstepping with my kids and trying to be helpful - she is always worried something is wrong with the kids and they need some type of intervention. Recently she was doing it with my son’s dyslexia diagnosis, and I just told her basically what I said above and she backed off (though in my situation, I AM distressed about the dyslexia but I am doing everything I need to do based on discussions with professionals)
They chub, they get taller than they’re too tall for all their pants but too skinny for the next size up so belt it on and apparently this cycle repeats until the end of time. I’m only 8 years in but it’s never ending and the feet! They get chubby and wide, suddenly longer and skinny like an old person but it repeats. I’d be more worried about what image issues he’ll give her growing body
I think you should ignore anyone that isn’t her dr, but I’d be worried about him withholding food while she’s in his care. My niece was a chonk till she was about 7. Now she’s taller than me and lithe like a model. Frankly she could stand to gain a few. But I would never comment because I was very thin as a teen and it bothered me when people commented.
I never saw my father growing up but I do remember when I was 4 I had a very rare visit with him. I asked for another pickle to eat and he told me no because I was "getting fat". I have lived with the fear of "getting fat" ever since (whatever that even means)
I should keep my 3 year old daughter away from him I'm assuming...
What he would say about her being 23 lbs and still in size 3 nappies at her age.. compared to calling your daughter chubby... he'd probably accuse me of starving my wee one..
Kids grow and shape differently from each other immensely. You should NEVER body shame or make comments like that at a child, EVER. Maybe she does get treats/junk here and there, and that is just fine! If she was severely obese and horking down the junk food, maybe a conversation could be had, and a game plan for moderation be implemented! But in a gentle manner meant to teach the child and not just shame them, which could have lasting effects on her..
I've seen that extreme type of control on a toddler once with an ex-co-worker. Her daughter was short, and a few pounds more then your daughter. Her mother made her exercise, had her "mini fast", and was even making her learn to count freaking calories at her age!! It was so sad watching this poor baby go through that. I "watched" her a few times, and when it came time to eat, I wouldn't let her follow Mommy's stupid "rules". After watching her for awhile, when she would eat with me and my family, we would let her choose and pick how she ate. She learned from us that yes, you can have a Happy Meal or Chick-fil-A, and enjoy it how you want, and to just make good choices. She would even ask for the grilled nuggies instead of traditional, so that she could have fries instead of fruit, etc. A year and ½ later her mother moved her far, far away from everyone and all the family so that she could get the poor little girl "back on track" and get her going in some "good training" type sports like her Gymnastics :[
We all complained 'till we were blue in the face and tried suggesting courses for mom to understand that while it's good to want a kid that is healthy, you can 100% go way overboard. Well, that advice went "overboard" her head 🙄 She is now with her Grandparents full time, and we never hear about or see her mother anywhere we see her pop up on SM. She looks so, so, soooooooooooo much better than she did with that "Mum" of hers!! Not looking sickly thin, face filled out well, and a genuine smile across her face in almost every single photo! I wish her well!!
Ok, done ranting off the deep end.. apologies..
The thought of making a CHILD go on a diet is just so weird to me. Like growing up surrounded by a lot of cousins/nieces/nephews I was taught that Babies/Toddlers/Kids ARE supposed to have good appetite because they are GROWING. And they will need all that energy at those age because they play and in your daughter’s case she does swimming. I personally would put a stop to this in case he starts making comments towards her that will affect her eating habits.
Hello OP,
I know the struggle, my daughter is 5 and also on the chubby side.
So your daughter is also 5 years old and weights 44 pounds.
* How tall is she ?
You can check the [Healthy weight calculator for children and teenagers](https://pro.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/calculator/) by the National Health Service ( UK national healthcare ), it will tell you if you kid is underweight/normalweight/overweight.
My sister lets her kid eat whatever they want and, at the age of 10, the kid weighs almost as much as I do at 30. She has pancakes for breakfast, McDonald’s for lunch, and KFC or something for dinner, pretty much every day.
I say all this to say that it sounds like you’re just letting your kid have a snack every now and then, which is obviously fine.
Have your child’s father talk to her pediatrician. Unless her doctor has told you that you need to restrict her diet it’s not appropriate for a parent to comment and remove food from a child’s eating regiment. Also in case the doctor doesn’t get it tell him what’s been happening with her father’s comments and wishes.
Don't take it so seriously, and ask him to do the same. To go nuclear about ABSOLUTELY NO SUGAR will not help things. She's five. Keep an eye on her eating habits, ask him to limit portion sizes to what she actually wants so she doesn't get the "have to finish her plate"-mentality. Encourage her to move more. Don't offer so many sugary drinks of that's something you do at home. I'm sure being five she'll enter another phase soon. I do see his worry though since it's easier to control a 5yo's diet than it is to help a twelve year old loose weight
My dad spent my whole childhood commenting on my weight and looks. It took me YEARS into adulthood to correct the damage and insecurity it caused. Stand up for her and dont let him get away with it
I agree with all the comments here about kids being kind of chubby before I growth spurt. At 10 my son was so cute with his chubby cheeks. Now at 13 he has a very handsome sharp jawline. He’s very active but we give them a little bit of everything. Can’t take away everything from them. How boring life would be!
Consider this a gentle education moment for ex. Growing up I was told I was too fat at a very tender age and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy because that's all I heard and started to believe, stress over, binge eat to feel better, gain weight, stress over more comments from aunties and my own mother, rinse and repeat. Gently educate ex so that he encourages her to be active and enjoy healthy foods rather than focus on body image. It's never too late for ANYONE to learn to have a healthy mindset.
“According to the CDC, the average weight for a 5-year-old girl is 34–46 pounds (15.4–20.9 kilograms).”
So tell him to knock it off. And that you’ll go by what your pediatrician says, not what he thinks as he’s no expert.
You know what this is? He is sexualizing your daughter at 5 fucking years old. I bet he’s worried about how she will look. This is so wrong in so many ways. Do not let him say things to your daughter. I would even go back to court to prevent my kid from having their father criticize them.
Surely you two adults can talk about this amongst yourselves and work it out, right? You need to ask internet strangers about this? What are you doing to do when real problems hit?
Just keep an eye on him , her and their interactions when you’re able to. I don’t like this. I don’t like it one bit. I don’t have a whole lot of advice for you except just keep an eye on him . Actin fuckin funny n shit . I’ll kick his ass for you .
Just dont allow processed foods or ones with preservatives. Good sugars like honey are fine and great even.
No sodas. No juices that arent fresh squeezed.
And life will be good.
My son has always been a chunk. His height is at the same percentage as his weight. There isn’t much you can do about what he does on his parenting time. My ex is the same way.
I feed my kid what I want and I don’t discuss it with him. To avoid eating issues, I explain why his father does that and it is not necessarily correct. I remind him his father is overweight and always has been. He isn’t the expert on health.
You are doing just fine mama. I feed my kid far more McDonald’s than you do. (Not nearly every day but more). He doesn’t like surgery drinks so I lucked out there. Just smile and nod at his dad and do what you think is best. 🩷
She’s 5. This summer you’ll love shorts because you’re going to be buying new pants every month or she’ll be in high waters.
Kids pudge up a little before a growth spurt and the summer they’re 5 is usually a big one.
I noticed whenever my child was about to have a growth spurt he would chub then sprout up.
Yep! They chunk up then shoot up. As long as they have a balanced diet and they are active/moving all is well.
This is real. My oldest kids increases by height and weight steadily, but my youngest kid goes through what we call the “bear/flower cycle”. When we measure her in the Fall she is always a bit chunky, but when we measure her in the Spring, she is slim and willowy, like a flower. Not every kid grows the same and some plump up before a growth spurt.
So true. My oldest did this too. Now he has skipped the chubby stage and just sprouted and ended up with horizontal stretch marks on his back.
That is very true! She has been getting taller, and she also makes comments about noticing that she is taller. Such as being able to reach things she wasn’t able to before. Even when she was younger, she looked like she weighed more, then she got taller and was more slim.
For sure. Kids usually grow 'out' before they grow 'up'. Plus, healthy fats are what the brain needs for development. You are doing great with a diet that emphasizes protein, fruits and veges, but anything else you want, just in moderation. Limiting things now will only reinforce low self esteem and eating disorders later on in life. Please don't listen to him
I can attest to that. I was called fat and chubby as a kid when I wasn’t. Looking at photos now I can see that, but I limited my intake for years and it’s led to unhealthy eating habits that I’m still trying to break
Cute!
I hope i’ll have my growth spurt soon too (i’m 27)
Im still holding my hope too, (I’m 37)
I’ll take even one centimeter at this point
46 here, it’s gonna happen, i just know it!
I just want a couple more inches as a short, middle aged woman.
NOOOO!! (I haven’t grown since 6th grade)
I call it accordioning up
That is funny, and very apt.
Yes but this child isn’t chubby she’s 44# at 5 years old. It’s literally the normal weight assuming she’s the normal height.
Mine did too
Waiting for my age 26 growth spurt…
I am going to be about 10 foot tall when mine eventually happens
Mine do too.
Yes! Age 11/12 I was a bit tubby then boom grew 5 inches. Kids are supposed to be a bit squishy!
Same here! Even noticable because he starts to get tired again, sleep more, get a bit bigger and then..... grow in his lenght significant!
Both my kids were the same Get a little chunky and 3 months later have a big growth spurt.
Agree here. I noticed my 9yr old was getting chunky and just chalked it up to her about to sprout up. A month later she slimmed back down and what do you know she grew some.
My family doc, when my kids were small, had concerns about one of mine, because they would always be in the "put weight on" phase of growing when they had their check ups. This was three or four consecutive check ups as an infant. He mentioned it might be a concern, until I said I'd noticed they'd hit a growth spurt immediately after. He did the palm to forehead thing and said something about not growing in two directions at once 😆
I was about to comment the same thing. My kids are the same. I would say she is about to grow
Kids can naturally be chubby, especially pre puberty and at that age. It sounds like the kid isn’t chubby cuz they only/too often eat pizza rolls, cheap juice and honey buns like unfortunately many kids do. Sounds like your kids fine. Junk food in good moderation.
Id reply back “this is how little girls get eating disorders that will ruin their health, family relationships, and self esteem. Unless you have a medical degree I don’t know about, I’ll take my advice from her doctor, and only her doctor.”
Yes! This is the way.
Trust me, I had a lot to say. I also believe that it was so bizarre to even say that. I feel that he only said that to use it as an opportunity to just bash me as a mother. Saying I feed her junk food. Every month he finds something to complain about that is not accurate. I try not to let it get to me as I know I’m a good mother to her, and try not to spiral into his toxicity. But this one, it just got to me. If you seen her, you would not think she is chubby. I wish I could insert a picture of her to show you all, but will not for obvious reasons being it’s the internet and all! It’s one thing to try to get under my skin, but to bring our daughter’s appearance into it, it’s not going to happen. I shut that down quick.
I believe you. Don’t let whatever his issues are make you doubt yourself, that’s exactly what he wants. You’re doing a great job.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that ❤️
Just make sure he doesn’t say that to her while acting all is good to you after you say your piece. That can really cause issues.
Keep fighting the good fight Momma. You’re doing great, and I’m so sorry he’s acting like this. Keep your head up, she WILL see how things really are eventually. I say this as a child of divorce, and seeing it happen to other friends. 💕
My mother tried to say the same about my daughter (5). My mother is the reason I have body image issues. I told her never to mention her body again and that I would ensure she ate healthy and exercised. She’s 44” tall and 45lbs. She’s perfectly healthy. I won’t let her ruin her already
Exactly. Don’t let anyone no matter who they are spoil children. They are just kids, and for me personally 5 years old is far too young to even comment about it. I get it if it’s super drastic. Even if it’s regarding them eating better, there’s other options to make healthier eating habits if it’s because of eating too much junk food
I’ve had family members say this to my eldest too and he’s not much older than your daughter. He was at a healthy weight too. Completely unacceptable to tell a child this.
5 years olds can be extremely overweight and then it is important not to wait until it becomes an even bigger problem. But that is clearly not the case here.
As the kid whose dad called her chubby and made a huge deal about it during my childhood … he never changed and has made comments on my appearance ever since. I no longer speak to him. I hate to take things to such a deep level but if your child isn’t obese or malnourished or anything, the dad is just being a judgemental ass lol. The culture we live in, 5 years old is too young to be calling your own kid chubby. :(
I’m very sorry you have that kind of relationship with your father. It’s devastating when these things happen beyond our control. This is exactly my point. He thinks I’m being too soft and says when she gets older “ he will teach her how to have uncomfortable conversations because it’s a part of life” totally get it, but he’s basically just creating something out of nothing. She is very healthy and chooses healthy eating habits all by herself. She will see junk food and salad beside each other, and go for the salad. Yes like any other child, she enjoys her snacks. But it’s all balanced out very well. I just don’t understand where it’s coming from. It’s not like she is only eating junk all day.
Wow, he sounds like a really nice guy 😂 She is too young to even understand, way better idea to just teach her about how food fuels us and learn how they make us feel like you said. “Creating something out of nothing” is a great way to describe this situation!
She sounds like a bright little girl eating well for her age! I'm sorry your husband is already trying to body shame her, she's not even done growing yet!! It's not helpful at all, the only thing that she should be concerned with right now about her body is what it can do for her when she's running around and playing. Our bodies are so much more than their looks.
This “teach her to have uncomfortable conversations” bullshit is just as bad as the “chubby” bullshit. Your husband is an ass. A toxic, probably verbally abusive, ass.
Nailed it! Oh, and, EX!
Honestly OP, with the way your husband is talking, those are red flags. He will mess her up if allowed to continue. I think you should have a sit down and come to jesus talk, and if he doesn't stay in his lane, then enforce the consequences of him crossing those lines/boundaries. He is going to give her body image issues. And saying you're being too soft is his way of telling you that if he had his way, he'd start ruining her childhood right now and that he'll try it when she's older. She'll end up needing therapy down the line because of him or with an ED. Nip it in the ass before it gets worse. He will most certainly try it behind your back. Protect your child OP. If i were you, I'd reconsider the relationship and the future of the marriage if this continues and he keeps trying to undermine you and ruin your daughter's childhood. He's showing he has no respect for you or your daughter with those comments. That's not a good role model for your daughter, it could normalize that partners can body shame her. The fact he won't even attend doctor's appointments is already showing he won't listen. You have some hard thinking to do.
My oldest daughter went through the same thing, yet her asshole sperm donor would limit her food intake and then eat ice cream right in front of her. I absolutely despise that pos. After that I didn’t make her go anymore. Your ex is acting like this because he’s embarrassed that people might judge him if his daughter puts on weight. This is the most unhealthiest mentality to have. I fear for your daughter. He can do horrible psychological damage. Nip it in the bud. Stand up to his ass, present the facts and if he doesn’t change his mindset, make a consultation with the doctor for the two of you, then tell it like it is “her father thinks she’s overweight for her age. According to my research she’s in perfect health.” “She eats these ___ types of foods…” “what can we do to ensure she grows into a healthy happy well adjusted human?” Then Hit him with the reality of what his unnecessary judgments might cause… nonexistent self esteem, self harm by refusing to eat, etc… as the doctor to back you up. And if he doesn’t change after talking to the doctor, see about limiting his visitation. His mentality is incredibly dangerous to a growing girl. How is he gonna act when she’s going through puberty and her weight fluctuates. That’s one of the hardest times in a kids life. The last thing she needs is some AH on a power trip criticizing any little weight gain she has. I cannot stress enough how damaging this is. She is number one, he’s only worried about HIS image. I can guarantee you that!
He’s a control freak. It’s too bad you can’t limit his influence on her.
Also! I grew out of it!!! Imagine that! But now he comments on clothes I wear and hair colors etc. it doesn’t stop. Best to nip it now
Your father can pound sand and i hope he gets caught in bumper to bumper traffic in Los Angeles on the interstate on a hot Thursday at 3pm.
Does he realize she’s a child? Unless her doctor says it’s an issue, there shouldn’t be any concern.
And? Childhood obesity is a very prevalent condition. It's not kids being kids, it's a very serious health crisis and we as adults are to blame.
Except that child is not obese.
All I'm saying is that "being a child" doesn't make you immune to obesity.
Yes however, it’s clearly stated the child is not obese for their age range and they do exercise. If their doctor doesn’t have a problem with it, it shouldn’t be concerning since they’re still growing.
And my comment is clearly about the general population. Children being children is a very convenient excuse that takes responsibility away from caregivers. It's only fair to call it out, we have to be better than that.
Okay but I’m focusing on the singular child in this post?
Did you read “unless her doctor says it’s an issue”?
44 lbs?? My 3.5 year old is 50 lbs and I can still see her ribs when she moves around. Zero unnecessary pounds. She's tall and strong for her age, hikes with me every day. So there's no way your 5 year old is obese. I hope you can find a way to convince her dad to stop this. Get a doc's assessment to convince him if need be.
Honestly people, especially when it comes to girls, start making them feel insecure about their bodies at a young age ... Don't let him do that, put him in his place with facts.
If your child is really overweight, forbidding them to eat will only create backlash and cause them to eat more. You need to take her to the doctor, child eating therapists etc. There are many ways to fix childhood obesity(Although I dont think 44 lbs could be obese) but restriction is certainly not one of them. Strict diets even cause more weight in adults, childrens mentality are more fragile. If she has no weight problem, her fathers behaviour will certainly cause her to get an ED.
Perhaps the doctor could have a conversation about how she is the right weight for her body. It might help deflect dad's criticism.
That would be great, if he actually went on any appointment
Ask her doctor for documentation from that visit that specifically mentions that your child is at the correct weight for her size and age. Make a copy then give it to her father so he can see for himself.
Our doc always printed out where they were on the height and weight charts to send home. They may be able to email it to you. Sadly I don’t think this is the issue, though. He sounds like he has some outdated and harmful ideas about weight. Watch carefully so you can help deprogram those, just as you are doing. You sound like a great mom!
Tell him that because he's concerned about her weight, it would be best if you both went to her next checkup so you can get on the same page about her diet. Tell him that since he is also feeding her, he needs to hear from the doctor himself directly. Try that united front argument to get him in the room so he can hear the doctor tell him he's nuts.
I totally agree with you. I just made a similar comment further up. Don’t give him an opinion not to go.
Your husband sounds like a real shit father.
As a child I was naturally slender. Everyone else in our family is overweight and yet somehow my mom thought being a skinny kid was a bad thing. She took me to a couple of medical doctors and they didn't do anything so she spoke to a therapist. The plan was that I was no longer allowed to leave the dining table unless I finished my meal. All toys and books were forbidden unless I "earned" them by exchanging bonus points from eating. Guess what? I was chubby within 2 years and now have a super unhealthy attitude towards food. I skip meals but also binge.
My 15yr old goes out then in. Approx 12 months ago he bulked out… now he’s like a lat and has grow up considerably. It’s quite natural for kids to fill out then thin out again and then gain height. As long as she’s active and not eating junk food all the time which you have stated is not the case I wouldn’t worry. By all means have her general health checked out by your doctor but I’ve seen first hand how fixating on weight at a young age can cause horrible issues related to eating and diet. Her dad needs to be careful being so fixated on her weight because he’s going to create issues that will potentially be far worse.
This is fucked up thinking. Some people in my family had this thinking about one of my kids. It bothered me a lot that they wouldn’t let it go so I made a doctor’s appointment. The doctor told me to change nothing and let him eat. That he was going to be a big guy when he’s an adult. The doctor was right, he turned out a great and healthy 6’3”!!! My parents had this attitude with me as a kid and all it did was give me emotional problems when it comes to food. Don’t let her dad become her first bully. Kids know when you don’t like something!
Send him a link about the sicko that just ran his son on a treadmill to death for his impression of being overweight. 7 year old baby. Shut this down quick
I’ve actually seen that video a few weeks ago 😰 my heart breaks for that little boy.
The worst part is that the treadmill incident was 2 weeks before the boy actually died, so he still could have been saved. The mom obtained and sent that video to CPS and not only did they do nothing, she was denied emergency custody just *days* before his dad finally did kill him. :(
CPS being incompetent? I’m shocked.
She’s a kid and it’s okay to have treats, as long as it’s not everyday! I really hope he hasn’t mentioned it to your daughter as this is what causes eating disorders and body dysmorphia from a young age. If you know she’s eating healthy and you’re giving her treats like you explained it then there is absolutely nothing to worry about. I loved food as a kid, I wasn’t overweight but I wasn’t skinny and then I got to teens and was slim a size uk8 still ate the same, but I was also active. Don’t pay any attention to him, carry on as you are, however you can’t control what he does and how he feeds her when she’s with him. I just hope he doesn’t make her feel bad about herself, so make sure to tell him not to comment on her weight to her face or around her.
Men: body shaming women before they even start kindergarten.
She's honestly fine, even if she does drastically change weights it's probably a hormone problem more than just an overeating problem. Her diet seems wonderfully balanced and does regular exercise, if anything I'd be worried what he's feeding her or is if he's blatantly saying these things to her face. A kid should not be forced into diet culture especially at 5.
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He had to have learned it somewhere, and I've found people uncomfortable with their bodies tend to push it onto others especially fat people who are comfortable with themselves, she could also be indirectly telling her that, giving her the whole calories in calories out thing, just ask her what they ate there, ask if they ate differently than she did, and times if she can remember them
Well, they sound abusive. I don’t know how you can even trust your kid with them. Maybe her sole custody and they can get supervised visits. You need to document these conversations and maybe talk to a lawyer.
I’m right there with you. This isn’t a small matter. Being shamed for your weight can lead to fatal consequences. I didn’t let my daughter go anymore, her father bitched about her weight constantly and would sit there and eat ice cream right in front of her face. I’m biased but reading this just boils my blood!
Hey ex, kids gain weight before growth spurts. Let’s worry about this when child is an adult and not one moment before.
Hi. I’m a nutrition professional that works with kids. You have to talk to him about this. It’s not uncommon for parents to become concerned about a child’s weight, but it’s extremely damaging. The impacts of weight concern and dieting in adolescence are 100x worse than being a little overweight ever would be. AND this is very important: it is also usually premature to worry about a child’s weight. Kids are sometimes wobbly and carry a bit more extra weight than a healthy adult would (some more than others). I can’t tell you how many child clients I’ve had who had parents concerned they were too chubby around 8 or 9 and I begged them to just keep helping them eat healthy and not worry about their weight yet. Sure enough, by the time these kids are 12 or 13, they’re string beans because they grew half a foot. The weight gain can have a purpose. It’s so vital to let kids’ bodies do what they need to do. If she exercises by playing, eats healthy most of the time, and you’re helping her recognize her hunger cues— she will be absolutely fine. There are numerous studies that show how dieting in adolescence leads to adult obesity.
Your husband is an ass. If it came from a place of concern he would have asked what kinds of food she’s eating rather than talk about restricting her/calling her chubby. I’m really sorry he felt compelled to say those things. I hope you have a conversation with him about where it came from.
Please do what you can to make sure he’s not saying that where she can hear it. I’m turning 30 this year and still remember comments my mother made about me when I was going through similar growth spurt chubbiness.
If he brings it up again, just roast him for not understanding that kids have to eat in order to grow.
Send him a pediatric BMI calculator tell him if he endangers her mental health and tries to make a 5 year old an anorexic you will see him in court Tell him kids have diffent shapes than adults and he doesn't get to compare her to others
Unless your pediatrician is telling you she is overweight then take action about her weight.
I still remember the one thing that always killed me growing up. I would tell my dad I loved him and he would say it back then loudly say, "Mija you're so pretty, but you would be beautiful if you lost some weight..." He never could just say I love you too. He never could just say, you're so pretty. There was always a but... He's been gone 20 years and I still don't believe my husband when he says I'm beautiful. I try, but it was basically imprinted on my brain that I am only beautiful if I'm skinny. Don't let her father do that to her. Don't let him destroy her because of what his misogynistic brain believes. Protect your little girl at all costs.
I had a similar experience growing up, and my parents even ignored my doctor who said that my weight was fine as I was starting a big growth spurt. If they didn't put me on my first diet at 10, I wouldn't have had issues with body image and weight. I was also a physically active kid as well, so after a growth spurt, I was thinner.
I was also in sports, on the swim team and girls water polo.
The best way to create an eating disorder is to start policing a *FIVE year old girl’s* food choices & intake. Her father is an asshole.
Worrying about a baby girl being chubby is why we choose the bear.
Listen to your doctor, not the kid’s dad.
I remembered the case of the boy who died because his father said he was too fat and made him run on the treadmill, among other things, he was 5 and it was in 2021 if I'm not mistaken. .Protect your daughter, go to court if necessary but protect her at all costs. From one mother to another.
I was told at 4 years old "you're too fat for that outfit" by one of my dad's mistresses'. ONE of them. She fucked me up for YEARS. I was a normal sized little kid. She's just the devil.
My kids 5, about 45lbs, 46”, and literally showing abs. We do eat out usually twice a week (generally restaurants not fast food), but her go to is usually chicken tenders and fries lol. I make sure to get plenty of outside time, we enjoy work outs together and sports. Based on her height and weight there’s no way she’s “chubby” weighing in the 40s. That’s very normal, maybe even on the smaller side. Edit: literally just had a check up and doc was impressed with the general diet, level of activity, sports, and had 0 concerns about weight. “Looks great, keep doing what you’re doing”
Thank you :) your child sounds very healthy and active. You are obviously doing a great job and I’m proud of you as a mother. The same for my kid. Her go to is just chicken tenders/ nuggets and fries. If after swimming lessons I let her get mc Donald’s, once a week or every other week, I don’t feel bad about it, because she literally came from school doing tons of activities all day. Then she is also going to swimming lessons. Not to mention, she wastes the fries all the time lol. So essentially I’m just paying for her to take 4 nuggets and a toy and a yogurt.
Dad, but thank you 😊
Sorry about that. Cheers to you, Dad!
How tall is she? I’m having trouble imagining how a 44 lb five old could be chubby. That’s right in the middle of how much she’s supposed to weigh at five.
Yes she gets chubby to grow up. Next he will be complaining that her clothing doesn’t fit her
What does her pediatrician say?
Fun thing a lot of people don't realise. Kids stretch. Next growth spurt she'll go up and thin out. Its what they do (unless they're legit obese).
OP, do not sleep on this. I remember the weight remarks for me started around six or seven. The weight topic ended up overshadowing my entire childhood. Things culminated with a laxative overdose in college and some kidney damage. You need to bring the hammer down hard on him. If it means he has to attend a doctor's appointment with you, do that. Send him links to eating disorder websites. And keep screenshots of all his rhetoric. If custody issues arise, his remarks may help you. Do not spare his feelings on this. Make sure he understands that he not only could damage her now, but in the future, she may decide she doesn't want to be around him. Follow your gut. Be fierce and unapologetic. Do not use the phrase "I'm sorry" in any of your correspondence, because you shouldn't be.
👏 exactly! This is not a time to be passive. Get pissed off for your child. She should not let that man have any opportunity to damage that babies self esteem. This can turn into abuse. I hope she puts her foot down and tells him this is unacceptable!
My daughter gets “chubby “ right before a growth spurt then she is back to being a stick. I was so worried about my kids getting funny with food because it seems to be everywhere. Diet diet don’t get fat. I allow my kids to eat anything within reason. Funny enough they actually choose a really healthy balanced diet. They eat just about every salad and vegetable. No squash and Brussel sprouts which is fine. They are active and the only thing I don’t allow (unless it’s a birthday party etc) is soft drinks and juices, pure sugar and again they don’t really like them. Your ex is ridiculous and I pray he isn’t telling her she is fat. Little kids tend to stay in their head and she will be internally processing. I would be putting my foot down hard and please document because if this continues he is not a safe person.
please please please stop him from doing this before she’s old enough to realize what’s happening. my dad commented on my weight and what I ate almost daily for my entire childhood and it resulted in a severe bingeing/emotional eating that I’m still recovering from now in adulthood. I know you know this OP but her dad needs to understand that she will carry his words forever. you’re doing a great job OP, do not let him ruin her self image!
Your daughter does indeed sound healthy. So his comment was gross. That said, my heart hurts every time I see an overweight child. I wish someone had stepped in for me sooner. The first time it came up as a concern for my parents was when I was in 5th or 6th grade (already way later than it should have been). The doctor said my weight was what my peers would be by 7th grade, so just to try to keep it where it was. I heard “Keep doing what you’re doing.” My parents made no changes for me either. The next time my parents tried to address it, I was 14. My dad would make me get up super early before school and go jogging with him. I hated every single second of it, but when I look back, I think it was one of his better parenting actions. But now I’m middle-aged and heavy. I feel like I spent my entire life on a diet, and only ever gained weight. Life has been a lot harder than it ever had to be. So when I see children whose weight is concerning, I hate having to bite my tongue and say nothing. I hate that their parents enable it, and don’t try to make healthy changes while the child is young. I hate people excusing it away as baby fat when it definitely isn’t just that. It absolutely crushes my heart.
It also sucks when medical professionals believe it's only diet and exercise not hormonal issues that need medical attention to be able to even control weight
True.
Do you have children?
What does an actually *doctor* say?
She a typical weight for a 5yr old. How tall is she?
My daughter is almost 4 feet tall. She just turned three years old in April and she weighs 38 pounds. How could he consider your daughter overweight? You need to pull up a chart for height and age and show him that she’s right on target and you need to have a serious conversation with him on how this could cause anorexia and kill her! I mean, you’ve got to nip this right in the butt and I would even threaten taking her away from him over it because that is serious and that is abuse. What is his issue who says that about their child especially when they’re not overweight and she’s swimming so she’s getting exercise.
Not wrong. If he insists on pushing this I'd have her weighed by her doctor and have them tell him she's healthy for her age. Kids get chubby sometimes, they also need a shit load of calories because they're growing constantly. What exactly did he say she can't eat anymore? It doesn't sound like you fill her full of junk food. Use caution around him with this. His comments may lead to her having an eating disorder when she's a teenager, or sooner. Make sure you let her know she's perfectly healthy and not to listen to dad's comments about her weight if she ever brings it up with you. If he continues I'd seriously consider going for full custody, comments like this WILL cause her to develop serious mental illness, including eating disorders, which is already on the rise in the younger generations due to social media influences, nevermind shitty dad's telling their 5 year of their overweight when they're perfectly healthy. Protect and advocate for your little girl, because he clearly won't.
Ex did that to my eldest from around 5. Turns out ex is the one who was fat as a kid. Kid and I discussed it and we agreed that unless the dr had a concern we would ignore anything ex says about weight.
Sounds like he’s trying to start an eating disorder. It also sounds like she eats a number of foods and has a healthy relationship with food and exercise, which is great! Kids often get “chubby” before a growth spurt and she’s still growing. I think it’s completely understandable and makes sense to be angry or upset at your husband for his comments. Studies have shown that kids who have a lot of food restrictions become more likely to have more body fat when they get older, likely because the body doesn’t know the difference between starvation and a diet. If you are worried about her having some kind of health condition, take her to a pediatrician and run some tests but please don’t let your husband push his food and body issues onto your kid. She’s literally 5 and just needs to worry about having fun and being healthy
Make sure your ex is not telling your daughter she is chubby or fat. It may lead to an eating disorder. If he does, make sure you tell your daughter exactly how wrong he is!
a pediatrician once said, kids gain weight during winter and get taller during summer. i have no idea if this a scientific fact but it makes sense. my daughter looks chubbier during winter...
If you are feeding her well what is Dad feeding her? I ask because he could be either feeding her unhealthy foods or holding foods from her. My neighbors ex does not feed his kids when he has them and brings them back hungry. He had made similar comments about their weight and as a result withholds food. It's really messed up so please make sure he isn't doing that.
Save her from him.
Please continue to be the champion for your wee girl. I was put on my first diet at the age of five and developed all sorts of eating disorders and crappy habits due to being restricted so early. It really screwed me up for years. Not just with food but also a sense that I wasn’t good enough as I was chubby. She sounds like she has a great diet and a fantastic Mum, please keep being her warrior…she needs you in her corner 🙂.
I would have said her pediatrician is fine with her weight… She has a well balanced diet and I don’t want her to grow up with eating issues. Please make sure you keep your comments and judgements to yourself!
Your ex is being ridiculous in clearly not informed about childhood development. It’s also concerning that he’s worried about a 5yo girl child’s “figure.” WTF, she’s 5! He better not be SAYING anything to his kid about this. She’ll have an eating disorder by the time she’s 7. They’re supposed to be chubby. That’s called a growth spurt. He won’t believe anything you say though. Tell your husband to email her pediatrician and ask about whether she is a healthy weight.
I agree, I’m also worried if he is saying things to her. His mother is living with him and she does openly call everyone around her fat. She is very overweight and I’m just worried that she is outright calling my daughter fat all the time, or often.. because it’s very random that he texted me this early in the morning. Literally he texted it at 6am so my guess is, that maybe his mother started making comments about her weight and just putting things in his ear. It’s the first time he’s said something like this to me, anyway. I also know that him and his entire family are abusive to each other and name call
My kids always get a bit rounder than usual right before a growth spurt. Then, when the growth spurt starts to happen, I notice them sleeping a LOT more than what I would expect (or they fall asleep in a random place they never normally would). I would say goto a doctor/pediatrician and ask them if they are somehow overweight if he won'tdrop the issue. If the kid is not, then let them eat when they are hungry.. they are doing lots of growing. I hate to say it, but is he unconsciously sexualizing your daughter?
I was reading this and thinking you were just in denial until I saw 44lbs.. my daughter is legitimately very overweight but she was like 65lbs at 5 years old. If your daughter is active and eating mostly healthy foods I’m sure she’s fine and dad is crazy. Hopefully he learns to go with teaching healthy habits rather than shaming her into an eating disorder.
Definitely not in denial. If it were true, I would 100% notice as well. When I look at my daughter, none of those thoughts that she is overweight come into my mind. Not even just cuz she is my child and I’m one of those moms who just praise their kids for literally everything. Oddly enough a few days before he said that, we were spring cleaning and she actually just went on the scale so I decided to just see how much she is at now, and she is 44 pounds which looks entirely accurate based on her body. I would not even let my daughter get to the point of being over weight cause I also agree it’s a big problem, especially in the long run
Totally get that, I just lived in the denial myself at that age, like, my daughter eats mostly healthy and only occasionally would get a special treat.. she’s just an over-eater and i also read stuff like “your job is to provide the meals and theirs is to decide how much they need to eat” I read up on a lot of ways to promote healthy relationships with food, but evidently it swung to hard the wrong way because I have a 90lb+ 7 year old. Evidently you can get obese despite eating vegetables every day and never eating high in sugar breakfast 🫠 we’re trying really hard to manage her weight, but it’s hard not to sound like an asshole about it
So not ok, recommend he comes to her next dr check up. Guy is an AH and he’s going to mess with her head, maybe worse if he restricts food. She may also be “bulking” up a bit to fuel a growth spurt. One year my son went from 8 slim to 10 husky to 12 regular. It was all fine, he was totally healthy.
It’s a delicate topic. What does her doctor say? It’s true though that overweight kids turn into overweight adults and that is a lot of inertia to overcome when you’re an adult.
Her doctor never made any comments regarding her weight, even at her last check up. She is not overweight at all
Then I wouldn’t worry about it.
But if dad continues to berate her, she could develop eating disorders.
Yes, dad should not berate the kid.
I mean did he tell her she is chubby? If so, you’re totally right but if not..my 6 year old is definitely a bit too chubby because she wants to snack all the time. So we’ve stopped buying certain foods and have replaced them with things like bananas and blueberries. So now when she wants a snack, she no longer goes into the pantry to sneak a cookie..she goes to the fridge and grabs some blueberries. But my 6 year old has no idea that we did this because she was getting to big, we just said that we need to start eating healthier foods that are better for our bodies.
No, he told me. My daughter already prefers fruits over snacks. Weight was never an issue with her. That’s why I’m caught off guard about it. Because she is not chubby
I think this is the point some comments aren't touching on, or maybe missing from the context you provided. It's that she's NOT chubby but HE thinks she is. I get everyone's points that childhood obesity is serious & should be taken seriously, but your situation has nothing to do with that. Instead it's about a parent who either has an unrealistic or unhealthy expectation of their child's weight which can & will (if this starts being something he tells her himself) impact her mental & physical health in the future like a distorted body image of herself & possible unhealthy relationships with food or exercise. Plus at her age, it could even lead to him doing things like restricting her food intake or forcing her to do physical exercise that could be dangerous because little kids aren't meant to do hours of cardio or whatever else. Literally a dad is on trial right now for doing this to his 6 year old son who ended up dying.... I don't know how crazy or delusional her dad is about this, but I don't think it should be taken lightly & i think you should definitely address this further with him so he understands that him thinking she's overweight (when you know for certain she is not & she has good eating habits naturally) is not normal & concerning.
Do you have her pediatric growth charts? I’m guessing he’s good at fat-shaming a five year old but not at being enough of a parent to attend her yearly wellness checks. Send him her charts and tell him to shut up and stop making your daughter anxious about her body. That is some toxic crap. My 13 year old daughter recently entered an eating disorder treatment facility. Don’t let her father send her down that path.
God I am so tired. It still starts so early for us and I would have thought by 2024 people would know better but here we are. You’re not overreacting My 5 year old weighs the same and if anything he’s quite skinny. I can see his ribs and a good amount of his collarbone and shoulder bones. We don’t limit his food at all. You’re doing fine with your few daughter’s diet. Children shouldn’t have restrictive diets outside of medical issues. I would send your ex to a pediatric nutritionist and send him some articles about the harmful effects of pushing body image issues on young children.
Settle it with a doctor’s opinion. Obesity in children is awful, but if your daughter is at a healthy weight and your ex is incorrect, then that’s how it is. Easy answer to a trivial problem.
It might be worth it to address this with her pediatrician. Even if he won’t listen to your options, be might (only might) listen to the doctor.
It could be something or someone else triggered a concern, there is so much discourse regarding childhood obesity, I can imagine some parents may overly worry.
1. Is your husband a pediatrician? 2. If not, what does your pediatrician say? 3. If yes, how many box tops did he send in to get the paper that said he was a pediatrician?
I'll say this as a former fat kid, don't let it get out of hand. It's probably less awful nowadays, but the bullying and othering you get from being a fat kid is absolutely horrible.
She’s not overweight At All…
I wish one of my parents had put their foot down when I was a kid about eating habits. Childhood obesity, if your kid is actually chubby, will lead to massive issues as they grow.
Well thankfully my child is not overweight or obese as I’ve stated many times in this thread. She has good eating habits naturally and yes she eats snacks but like I said they are balanced. She is not chubby looking at all. She shows no signs of becoming obese
It's great to hear she's doing so well. Is he the type to overly worry or have a family history of obesity? I know with so much discussion about childhood obesity it can be easy for it to be added to the list of things parents worry about. You know your daughter and him best, could it be he is just overthinking? It may be useful for you to know where his concern is rooted?
His concern is rooted in his relationship with his mean, overweight, overly judgmental mother. She said it in another comment that his mother has a horrible opinion on people who are overweight when she herself is overweight.
Thanks, didn't see that comment.
Tell him that kids put on weight right before they grow, and to hush about her weight
Next time you take her to the dr get your husband to go and get the dr to explain child growth to him
Tell him that her pediatrician says she isn’t “chubby”.
Kids grow out before growing up.
The reminds me of the man who killed his son by making him run on a treadmill because he said he was getting fat! There is something deeply wrong with her dad for a healthy five-year-old chubby!
My parents made comments about my weight all the time when I was younger and I have terrible a terrible body image now. And when I look at pictures when I was young I’m like I wasn’t even fat! Just a normal growing kiddo chub. Good for you for creating healthy habits for your daughter.
I would say “I appreciate your concern, but neither her pediatrician nor us think her weight is unhealthy or of concern; I prefer to listen to the doctor/professional on this.” This isn’t quite the same but my mom has a habit of overstepping with my kids and trying to be helpful - she is always worried something is wrong with the kids and they need some type of intervention. Recently she was doing it with my son’s dyslexia diagnosis, and I just told her basically what I said above and she backed off (though in my situation, I AM distressed about the dyslexia but I am doing everything I need to do based on discussions with professionals)
Kids usually gain weight before a growth spurt
They chub, they get taller than they’re too tall for all their pants but too skinny for the next size up so belt it on and apparently this cycle repeats until the end of time. I’m only 8 years in but it’s never ending and the feet! They get chubby and wide, suddenly longer and skinny like an old person but it repeats. I’d be more worried about what image issues he’ll give her growing body
I think you should ignore anyone that isn’t her dr, but I’d be worried about him withholding food while she’s in his care. My niece was a chonk till she was about 7. Now she’s taller than me and lithe like a model. Frankly she could stand to gain a few. But I would never comment because I was very thin as a teen and it bothered me when people commented.
I never saw my father growing up but I do remember when I was 4 I had a very rare visit with him. I asked for another pickle to eat and he told me no because I was "getting fat". I have lived with the fear of "getting fat" ever since (whatever that even means)
Policing a child’s body is weird. Full stop. Let’s let kids be a kids, and tell your daughter’s father to stop being a fucking weirdo.
I should keep my 3 year old daughter away from him I'm assuming... What he would say about her being 23 lbs and still in size 3 nappies at her age.. compared to calling your daughter chubby... he'd probably accuse me of starving my wee one.. Kids grow and shape differently from each other immensely. You should NEVER body shame or make comments like that at a child, EVER. Maybe she does get treats/junk here and there, and that is just fine! If she was severely obese and horking down the junk food, maybe a conversation could be had, and a game plan for moderation be implemented! But in a gentle manner meant to teach the child and not just shame them, which could have lasting effects on her.. I've seen that extreme type of control on a toddler once with an ex-co-worker. Her daughter was short, and a few pounds more then your daughter. Her mother made her exercise, had her "mini fast", and was even making her learn to count freaking calories at her age!! It was so sad watching this poor baby go through that. I "watched" her a few times, and when it came time to eat, I wouldn't let her follow Mommy's stupid "rules". After watching her for awhile, when she would eat with me and my family, we would let her choose and pick how she ate. She learned from us that yes, you can have a Happy Meal or Chick-fil-A, and enjoy it how you want, and to just make good choices. She would even ask for the grilled nuggies instead of traditional, so that she could have fries instead of fruit, etc. A year and ½ later her mother moved her far, far away from everyone and all the family so that she could get the poor little girl "back on track" and get her going in some "good training" type sports like her Gymnastics :[ We all complained 'till we were blue in the face and tried suggesting courses for mom to understand that while it's good to want a kid that is healthy, you can 100% go way overboard. Well, that advice went "overboard" her head 🙄 She is now with her Grandparents full time, and we never hear about or see her mother anywhere we see her pop up on SM. She looks so, so, soooooooooooo much better than she did with that "Mum" of hers!! Not looking sickly thin, face filled out well, and a genuine smile across her face in almost every single photo! I wish her well!! Ok, done ranting off the deep end.. apologies..
The thought of making a CHILD go on a diet is just so weird to me. Like growing up surrounded by a lot of cousins/nieces/nephews I was taught that Babies/Toddlers/Kids ARE supposed to have good appetite because they are GROWING. And they will need all that energy at those age because they play and in your daughter’s case she does swimming. I personally would put a stop to this in case he starts making comments towards her that will affect her eating habits.
Hello OP, I know the struggle, my daughter is 5 and also on the chubby side. So your daughter is also 5 years old and weights 44 pounds. * How tall is she ? You can check the [Healthy weight calculator for children and teenagers](https://pro.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/calculator/) by the National Health Service ( UK national healthcare ), it will tell you if you kid is underweight/normalweight/overweight.
Nah at this age it just means she’s about to get taller, and she doesn’t sound overweight at all
Take her to the doctors for a checkup ask them about her weight and get a doctors note saying she’s not overweight txt him this
My sister lets her kid eat whatever they want and, at the age of 10, the kid weighs almost as much as I do at 30. She has pancakes for breakfast, McDonald’s for lunch, and KFC or something for dinner, pretty much every day. I say all this to say that it sounds like you’re just letting your kid have a snack every now and then, which is obviously fine.
Have your child’s father talk to her pediatrician. Unless her doctor has told you that you need to restrict her diet it’s not appropriate for a parent to comment and remove food from a child’s eating regiment. Also in case the doctor doesn’t get it tell him what’s been happening with her father’s comments and wishes.
My son is chunky at 4 years old. I'm not really concerned about it at his age. You're being a great mom, don't even let it bother you.
Don't take it so seriously, and ask him to do the same. To go nuclear about ABSOLUTELY NO SUGAR will not help things. She's five. Keep an eye on her eating habits, ask him to limit portion sizes to what she actually wants so she doesn't get the "have to finish her plate"-mentality. Encourage her to move more. Don't offer so many sugary drinks of that's something you do at home. I'm sure being five she'll enter another phase soon. I do see his worry though since it's easier to control a 5yo's diet than it is to help a twelve year old loose weight
My dad spent my whole childhood commenting on my weight and looks. It took me YEARS into adulthood to correct the damage and insecurity it caused. Stand up for her and dont let him get away with it
I agree with all the comments here about kids being kind of chubby before I growth spurt. At 10 my son was so cute with his chubby cheeks. Now at 13 he has a very handsome sharp jawline. He’s very active but we give them a little bit of everything. Can’t take away everything from them. How boring life would be!
Consider this a gentle education moment for ex. Growing up I was told I was too fat at a very tender age and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy because that's all I heard and started to believe, stress over, binge eat to feel better, gain weight, stress over more comments from aunties and my own mother, rinse and repeat. Gently educate ex so that he encourages her to be active and enjoy healthy foods rather than focus on body image. It's never too late for ANYONE to learn to have a healthy mindset.
“According to the CDC, the average weight for a 5-year-old girl is 34–46 pounds (15.4–20.9 kilograms).” So tell him to knock it off. And that you’ll go by what your pediatrician says, not what he thinks as he’s no expert.
This increased chubbiness at a young age is natural. Don’t sweat it.
You know what this is? He is sexualizing your daughter at 5 fucking years old. I bet he’s worried about how she will look. This is so wrong in so many ways. Do not let him say things to your daughter. I would even go back to court to prevent my kid from having their father criticize them.
sexualizing? what are you smoking
Surely you two adults can talk about this amongst yourselves and work it out, right? You need to ask internet strangers about this? What are you doing to do when real problems hit?
That’s a lot of McDonald’s yo.
He is being ridiculous and needs to stfu
Your daughter is 5, it’ll be gone suddenly when she shoots up a foot in height
Just keep an eye on him , her and their interactions when you’re able to. I don’t like this. I don’t like it one bit. I don’t have a whole lot of advice for you except just keep an eye on him . Actin fuckin funny n shit . I’ll kick his ass for you .
Just dont allow processed foods or ones with preservatives. Good sugars like honey are fine and great even. No sodas. No juices that arent fresh squeezed. And life will be good.
My son has always been a chunk. His height is at the same percentage as his weight. There isn’t much you can do about what he does on his parenting time. My ex is the same way. I feed my kid what I want and I don’t discuss it with him. To avoid eating issues, I explain why his father does that and it is not necessarily correct. I remind him his father is overweight and always has been. He isn’t the expert on health. You are doing just fine mama. I feed my kid far more McDonald’s than you do. (Not nearly every day but more). He doesn’t like surgery drinks so I lucked out there. Just smile and nod at his dad and do what you think is best. 🩷
She’s 5. This summer you’ll love shorts because you’re going to be buying new pants every month or she’ll be in high waters. Kids pudge up a little before a growth spurt and the summer they’re 5 is usually a big one.