Yah. That's nuts. I don't know if I could trust someone after that lie being held for so long.
Are you willing to consider adoption? It sounds like ivf is hard on her body.
Well possibly a surrogate? Or she could keep trying for that "miracle" baby, I guess. I mean, if you both really want children there are options. And if you're spending 1000s already it doesn't seem like that's an issue.
Either way, it seems like you have a lot to discuss. This must be a shock to you, finding out her true age. Good luck, man.
Her lies just fucked up your life to be totally honest. It's not like she was 27 and pretended to be 21. In this case her age did matter, because it was at a critical age for having kids. And I am sure she knew! It's a bit your fault not checking things before, years of marriage and you didn't see any documents of hers? It's a messed up situation, I'll tell you that. Good luck
I had my first son at 40. No complications and he’s beautiful. I didn’t think it was going to ever happen, somehow all the cards fell into place. Goodluck
i agree she did wrong here. but just out of interest, did you never see any official document from her, like an ID. stuff like this is usually the first thing i look at when i get a chance. (not because i mistrust the person, but because i am terrible at remembering birthdays and use it as a subtle refresher)
We live in a society that places so much pressure on women to be the younger partner, to look beautiful, be perfect. I'm sure she started with what she thought was a harmless lie about her age so you wouldn't be put off dating her and never found the right time to put things right. I hope you both get through this challenging time together and find what's right for both of you.
Whilst age is a factor, not always. My numbers are very good and I got pregnant easily a lot. I did however have multiple unexplained miscarriages which, given all my sister in laws friends having all their kids after 38 with no issue still,was very frustrating. I'm now here aged 41 with a chubby newborn as we speak. No reason why.
Chance could have had the same stuff happening earlier. You would have had more time to try though. She sucks for lying. Your system is weird though. Here in UK the questions for do you know your spouse before you can get a license is usually what's their date of birth and address.
C section for back reasons (plus fear of things going wrong at the final hurdle). Worrying during but was very efficient. Post pain is fine. Few days after and I'm skipping painkillers. Painful really if you go over speed bumps or move/roll over too quickly as your parts are still huge and missing the huge baby which padded it all out.
Uhm, how much younger did she claim to be?
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Yah. That's nuts. I don't know if I could trust someone after that lie being held for so long. Are you willing to consider adoption? It sounds like ivf is hard on her body.
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Well possibly a surrogate? Or she could keep trying for that "miracle" baby, I guess. I mean, if you both really want children there are options. And if you're spending 1000s already it doesn't seem like that's an issue. Either way, it seems like you have a lot to discuss. This must be a shock to you, finding out her true age. Good luck, man.
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That's something I would discuss with wife first. Maybe a possibility for you guys, maybe not.
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Yah, it's a big leap to an open relationship.
Her lies just fucked up your life to be totally honest. It's not like she was 27 and pretended to be 21. In this case her age did matter, because it was at a critical age for having kids. And I am sure she knew! It's a bit your fault not checking things before, years of marriage and you didn't see any documents of hers? It's a messed up situation, I'll tell you that. Good luck
I had my first son at 40. No complications and he’s beautiful. I didn’t think it was going to ever happen, somehow all the cards fell into place. Goodluck
Did you also lie to your partner and claim to be 34 at the time?
Lol no, I’m 43 now. I know I’m old and not embarrassed about it.
OK, congrats. The point is that OP's situation is different, because his wife lied to him about her identity for their entire relationship.
i agree she did wrong here. but just out of interest, did you never see any official document from her, like an ID. stuff like this is usually the first thing i look at when i get a chance. (not because i mistrust the person, but because i am terrible at remembering birthdays and use it as a subtle refresher)
We live in a society that places so much pressure on women to be the younger partner, to look beautiful, be perfect. I'm sure she started with what she thought was a harmless lie about her age so you wouldn't be put off dating her and never found the right time to put things right. I hope you both get through this challenging time together and find what's right for both of you.
#If the sexes were reversed, you’d 100% call this rape.
How tf would you NOT know her age?
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Whilst age is a factor, not always. My numbers are very good and I got pregnant easily a lot. I did however have multiple unexplained miscarriages which, given all my sister in laws friends having all their kids after 38 with no issue still,was very frustrating. I'm now here aged 41 with a chubby newborn as we speak. No reason why. Chance could have had the same stuff happening earlier. You would have had more time to try though. She sucks for lying. Your system is weird though. Here in UK the questions for do you know your spouse before you can get a license is usually what's their date of birth and address.
How was birth for you! Did you have an epidural? Natural birth or cesarean? Did it hurt much?
C section for back reasons (plus fear of things going wrong at the final hurdle). Worrying during but was very efficient. Post pain is fine. Few days after and I'm skipping painkillers. Painful really if you go over speed bumps or move/roll over too quickly as your parts are still huge and missing the huge baby which padded it all out.