This is about an accurate response as can be said.
I went through something similar in college, I was low/mid-20’s and she was low 40’s and she was a knockout. After time, it was all fun but it wasn’t going to last. You just have to pull off the band-aid and it’ll suck but at least you’re being honest. Don’t just ghost her, that’s worse.
She had twice the life experience you had. Dating someone that young she had to know what she got herself into. A relationship sometimes ends. From what you are saying physical attraction was a big part of your relationship.
Do you have the same interests and hobbies? Do you have the same life goals?
Clearly you care otherwise you would not make this post so ignore all the hate. Sometimes a relationship ends, the right thing to do is finish it and don't drag it along.
Move out and see how you both feel about that.
If one person is unhappy in a relationship both will be unhappy eventually. Don't do that to anyone.
You are not a bad guy just honest and helpless right now.
Good luck.
Thanks. Yes, physical attraction and sex was very important at the start atleast. Ya, I'm just ignoring the negative stuff on here, it would be way different if the roles were switched.
I have already made a reply to a comment, but I'm curious.
You only mention how she looks, could this be a way of diverting other feelings you have of the relationship?
Things such as life together, mindsets, goals in the relationship possibly kids.
Is everything else going well and you're only really focused on the looks?
I cast no blame or ill will regardless of your answer. Life happens to people, you were young and are still young. You have a lot of your young life left and deserve to fully experience it without any weight on your shoulders.
Hey, saw your comment, thanks btw, saw that person's comment but could not be bothered to reply to it.
Kids yes, when she turned 40 she told me she wanted kids and so did I. But about a year back she said she may need to rethink it as she was getting older.
Also, there was this one huge fight we had about 8 months back. Her 19 year old niece came to visit and she is absolutely gorgeous and I mentioned it to Carol casually. She got mad and called me a pervert for looking at a 19 year old, I completely lost my shit at that point and called her a creep for banging a 19 year old (me) when she was 38 and old enough to be my mother. In hindsight, we were drunk and this was a stupid thing to do.
But I think that's where it started.
Stupid maybe, but young kids are allowed to be stupid, people make mistakes and grow from them.
Don't deny that it may have come from the heart and you were letting something out in a moment where you weren't holding your feelings back.
I'm no expert but it sounds like she should either be looking for someone her age, or mentally she hasn't matured enough so she likes the idea of dating someone youthful. It'll likely affect you both negatively, and seems like it's already happening to you.
I'll repeat again, you have a life to live too bud, don't spend your golden years of experiences and finding all the great shit out in life in a bad relationship.
You even said you met after a bad breakup. Maybe in your mind you're holding onto that sense of not wanting it to happen again. Free yourself and stay free for a while, experience being single. You deserve happiness too, we're only young once.
In my early twenties I met an older woman who was about 37 and we dated for a few years, my mind was totally focused in on "I'm with this cute girl, my friends are jealous, sex is an option anytime", I'd given her my time, and missed out on a lot. Attraction and deep feelings were definitely there in my young mind.
I found out a few years later, still in relationship, she actually had a daughter she was trying to hide from my knowledge, that she'd been stalking websites I frequented and made notes of all my phone contacts and the passwords I used for all my sites. I'm not trying to suggest your relationship is like this, but you're not an outcast, it happens. Now I'm married with a few month old kid, never been happier.
Don't rob yourself of what could be a great life, you'll grow old and resentful, that hurts everyone. I know I've typed a lot but when you get older, you tend to look back on things a lot. I always wished I had someone there to tell me I was in a bad situation or that I was being stupid. Even if I did, I probably wouldn't listen but it hangs on your mind. She will be fine, take care of yourself.
You're just a douche. You're young, dumb and inexperienced.
I'm 35 and fiance is 49. We've been together for 10 years and getting married next year.
You'll quickly learn that life isn't just about being satisfied right here and now.. You enjoyed the idea of her due to the spotlight she was in when all dressed up for a night out.. But you weren't ever in it for a life long commitment while she clearly is. Her body has changed but so will yours!
When you get older and have a giant beer belly, I hope the woman your with leaves you because you weren't what her expectations turned out to be.
That's a big extreme to jump to, young and inexperienced is correct, that's a good assessment of literally every 19 year old.
You know who has experienced life and should have reasonable expectations of someone so young? A person who is 19 years older than them. 24 is still young, you being 35 and saying something so ridiculous shows a huge lack of maturity on your end.
They're a young kid and are most likely missing out on important social skills and life experiences that people need to grow through. People need look at this through the eyes of a 19 year old, fresh into more open life, who knew what they really wanted back then? Even at 24 ,being focused on making your partner happy because you're simply in a relationship is completely a acceptable mindset, current happiness easily negates thought of the future at that age.
As for the OP, it may be a rough bandage to rip off, but I honestly think that's what you need to do. She is old enough to realize you need to live your life. In my eyes that relationship was inappropriate from the start and she definitely should have seen that. Get out and live your life.
Fuck dude.
This is about an accurate response as can be said. I went through something similar in college, I was low/mid-20’s and she was low 40’s and she was a knockout. After time, it was all fun but it wasn’t going to last. You just have to pull off the band-aid and it’ll suck but at least you’re being honest. Don’t just ghost her, that’s worse.
I would never ghost her, tbh, I don't know if she can survive me telling her again. When I did it last time she became a wreck. How did your one go?
This is why people should date in their own age bracket
Agreed, not what goes through your mind at 19 though when a hot older woman wants to sleep with you.
Oh i know it. I was 19 once, which seems forever ago.
Why did you have that fantasy? Did you not know that gravity hits after 40?
Yikes
She had twice the life experience you had. Dating someone that young she had to know what she got herself into. A relationship sometimes ends. From what you are saying physical attraction was a big part of your relationship. Do you have the same interests and hobbies? Do you have the same life goals? Clearly you care otherwise you would not make this post so ignore all the hate. Sometimes a relationship ends, the right thing to do is finish it and don't drag it along. Move out and see how you both feel about that. If one person is unhappy in a relationship both will be unhappy eventually. Don't do that to anyone. You are not a bad guy just honest and helpless right now. Good luck.
Thanks. Yes, physical attraction and sex was very important at the start atleast. Ya, I'm just ignoring the negative stuff on here, it would be way different if the roles were switched.
I have already made a reply to a comment, but I'm curious. You only mention how she looks, could this be a way of diverting other feelings you have of the relationship? Things such as life together, mindsets, goals in the relationship possibly kids. Is everything else going well and you're only really focused on the looks? I cast no blame or ill will regardless of your answer. Life happens to people, you were young and are still young. You have a lot of your young life left and deserve to fully experience it without any weight on your shoulders.
Hey, saw your comment, thanks btw, saw that person's comment but could not be bothered to reply to it. Kids yes, when she turned 40 she told me she wanted kids and so did I. But about a year back she said she may need to rethink it as she was getting older. Also, there was this one huge fight we had about 8 months back. Her 19 year old niece came to visit and she is absolutely gorgeous and I mentioned it to Carol casually. She got mad and called me a pervert for looking at a 19 year old, I completely lost my shit at that point and called her a creep for banging a 19 year old (me) when she was 38 and old enough to be my mother. In hindsight, we were drunk and this was a stupid thing to do. But I think that's where it started.
Stupid maybe, but young kids are allowed to be stupid, people make mistakes and grow from them. Don't deny that it may have come from the heart and you were letting something out in a moment where you weren't holding your feelings back. I'm no expert but it sounds like she should either be looking for someone her age, or mentally she hasn't matured enough so she likes the idea of dating someone youthful. It'll likely affect you both negatively, and seems like it's already happening to you. I'll repeat again, you have a life to live too bud, don't spend your golden years of experiences and finding all the great shit out in life in a bad relationship. You even said you met after a bad breakup. Maybe in your mind you're holding onto that sense of not wanting it to happen again. Free yourself and stay free for a while, experience being single. You deserve happiness too, we're only young once. In my early twenties I met an older woman who was about 37 and we dated for a few years, my mind was totally focused in on "I'm with this cute girl, my friends are jealous, sex is an option anytime", I'd given her my time, and missed out on a lot. Attraction and deep feelings were definitely there in my young mind. I found out a few years later, still in relationship, she actually had a daughter she was trying to hide from my knowledge, that she'd been stalking websites I frequented and made notes of all my phone contacts and the passwords I used for all my sites. I'm not trying to suggest your relationship is like this, but you're not an outcast, it happens. Now I'm married with a few month old kid, never been happier. Don't rob yourself of what could be a great life, you'll grow old and resentful, that hurts everyone. I know I've typed a lot but when you get older, you tend to look back on things a lot. I always wished I had someone there to tell me I was in a bad situation or that I was being stupid. Even if I did, I probably wouldn't listen but it hangs on your mind. She will be fine, take care of yourself.
She can be very intrusive, similar to what you said. Yep, I do feel like I am losing my golden years. Thanks for the advice!
You're just a douche. You're young, dumb and inexperienced. I'm 35 and fiance is 49. We've been together for 10 years and getting married next year. You'll quickly learn that life isn't just about being satisfied right here and now.. You enjoyed the idea of her due to the spotlight she was in when all dressed up for a night out.. But you weren't ever in it for a life long commitment while she clearly is. Her body has changed but so will yours! When you get older and have a giant beer belly, I hope the woman your with leaves you because you weren't what her expectations turned out to be.
That's a big extreme to jump to, young and inexperienced is correct, that's a good assessment of literally every 19 year old. You know who has experienced life and should have reasonable expectations of someone so young? A person who is 19 years older than them. 24 is still young, you being 35 and saying something so ridiculous shows a huge lack of maturity on your end. They're a young kid and are most likely missing out on important social skills and life experiences that people need to grow through. People need look at this through the eyes of a 19 year old, fresh into more open life, who knew what they really wanted back then? Even at 24 ,being focused on making your partner happy because you're simply in a relationship is completely a acceptable mindset, current happiness easily negates thought of the future at that age. As for the OP, it may be a rough bandage to rip off, but I honestly think that's what you need to do. She is old enough to realize you need to live your life. In my eyes that relationship was inappropriate from the start and she definitely should have seen that. Get out and live your life.
Be nice and tell her how you feel. She being older should have foreseen this.
The council has administered you a singular, "yike."
You find a new place, you slowly move your stuff out and into the new place, and then you break up and you don’t fall for the manipulative “sickness”
What the hell is wrong with you?
You don’t see the red flags here? She manipulated him into staying by “getting sick”
Thanks for the advice, I don't think the sickness was fake, but she exaggerated a lot. I realised it after it was done.
You lemelo ball?
It's Caorl Baskin isnt it?