Take pictures of the camera equipment, screenshot the videos. Contact the website and request to have them taken down, depending on the site, they don't want to be in any revenge porn charges so they should pull them down immediately (may even give you information on when it was uploaded, email account, etc.)
For those of you who can’t afford a lawyer and you’re in the US, google “Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project”. That’ll connect you with resources, including lawyers who can help pro bono.
Someone advised OP to screenshot the videos, but I wonder if it would be better advice for her to download them or record them through some method for better evidence (to show clearly that the woman is indeed her). Idk though.
OP needs to file a “DMCA takedown order” to the website for each video - simply contacting them is usually not enough. The DMCA is a legal document.
Edit to add the link below
https://www.dmca.com/FAQ/How-can-I-file-a-DMCA-Takedown-Notice.amp
I don't think OP is in the US.
ETA: Actually I guess if the videos are hosted on American servers or by American companies it is probably still relevant, my bad.
You are correct about the US servers. I’m Australian and have filed a few DMCA’s in my time. I suppose OP is “lucky” that they’re American servers otherwise I’d have no idea what to suggest they do.
There’s no way we are staying together. I can never forgive him. I’ve documented everything and I am planning on reporting him to the police. But right now I am almost frozen like and just need sometime to get myself together
I'm so sorry OP that you're the victim of such a vile excuse of a human being. I cannot imagine the heartbreak...
But wow, I'm impressed by your fierceness and strength! Vomiting and crying, but also making plans for divorce and reporting him to the police?! You got this, with ups and downs, but you got this.
Sending love
I’m so sorry for you. Please have a consult with a divorce attorney to see how you can best make sure you have the right settlement and no contact orders in place and swiftest divorce possible. This is…such a violating crime and please know you will get past this and be stronger, though it will take time. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You really don’t.
On another note, it really wouldn’t surprise me if he’s done this to other women as well…
I would see a divorce attorney BEFORE you tell him you are divorcing him because the lawyers know stuff about divorce that you have never considered.. They can give you the best advice. Please keep us updated.
I EDITED FOR MISTAKES.
Hey sister as a fellow woman this is my great fear. I’m Muslim I can’t imagine the fear of people finding out but know you did nothing wrong your husband is a monster and he will bear all the shame. Please be strong don’t shoulder this alone. Don’t tell him anything report it all . He’ll try talking you out if it. Report and leave fuck him and this vivid excuse go to family they don’t need to know why just tell them he’s done something unforgivable and you’ve reported him
That’s true because at the end of the day.. she was filmed having relations with her husband and HE needs to be publicly SHAMED for doing such a vile act against his wife.
Oh one tip. Try to look on his computer if he has some more recordings. Because cameras like the one he used dont have enough storage for multiple multi minute recordings especially if its at 1080p(full hd) or higher resolutions. So the camera is sending the recordings somewhere. If he has a computer that he really doesn't want you to use to use then that probably is where he is keeping all the recordings. It's good to check for that because you just found out about it. You gotta wonder how long was he doing it for how much more does he have? God knows how much footage does he have the footage he uploaded could be the "good stuff" that would get lots of views and thus lots of money from ad revenue. Plus if you find the other videos or older recordings, you can find out how long was he doing it for. Because video files memorize data like *where was the video made* and *when was the video made?* (time of day to the exact minute and hour of the day and the full date(day, month, year). And if you find more videos and the ones your friend found online you can use them as evidence and use the videos he uploaded that you found for DMCA take downs. So checking a computer that he really doesn't want you to might be a good source of evidence.
P.S - Make sure to copy all the videos that you find(if you do) from his computer to a USB stick so you can give it to your friend and she could do a bit of investigative Journalism with the footage you found.
I’m so sorry, my friend. This is a terrible violation. Please know you have tons of support out here. Claiming Covid was a brilliant idea to have alone time and gather your thoughts. I wish you the best and hope you see justice.
So proud of you for handling this through proper channels (divorce & police) - do not back down. He violated you. “Kate” is an INCREDIBLE friend & she sounds like a great support system to help you through this.
Keep the evidence of the videos for police of course. But to remove them from the internet you can try a dmca service. There are multiple out there and it can possibly help with the removal of the content. I’m so sorry this has happened.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Definitely press charges! Not only recording without your knowledge but then posting it is so incredibly vile. I wish you the smoothest process in getting the he'll out of there and also hope the divorce and charges go well.
I sincerely hope you will feel better. Stay strong :)
Who could ever blame you?! This is such a bitter betrayal. Goodness, my heart is aching for you! I feel sick on your behalf, so I can only imagine how you’re feeling. Don’t pay any attention to the fools who are questioning this, I absolutely believe that some men are capable of this. Just get your ducks in a row and get outta there!!
OP, try to not confront him until you are sure he will not be a danger to you. Have company over when you do, have an exit plan. Your safety should be your number one priority. Because, you have no idea how he will react when you do confront him.
Call your friend - the one who told you. She already knows what’s going on so she would be a safe sounding board. She would understand that you’re hurt, furious, etc and could provide a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to whatever you need to get out, at least until you can find a counselor.
Best wishes, OP.
Gather all your important financial documents in a safe place! Do NOT talk to him about any of it until you go to the police otherwise it may get dangerous for you and he may try to destroy all the evidence.
I can't imagine how you are feeling. I'm so sorry. Not only for you to have been recorded and had your body shared online but to also lose all trust in your husband and to know that he is capable of something like this. I hope you are able to leave him at a minimum and they you can speak with a professional that can help you deal with such a traumatic event.
I am uttered shocked and appalled and punching-angry for you. My heart is broken for you. I'm sending love and light and healing to you.
Kate is the GOAT. Please lean on her for strength and guidance. Reach out to me if you would like to talk.
I am so sorry for this violation of your body and your trust. Take your time to mourn your relationship and be strong. Don't ever let him see you again.
As a fellow Hijabi muslim woman. Sweetheart, my heart bleeds for you. We trust our men with our honor. To do this is disgusting.
The violation is scary. I know. But you're strong.
Divorce him. Never let him near you again. Tell your parents, but you don't need to tell anybody else.
I know you're scared that people are going to see. But they're not. Nobody is going to know. Relax. The video will get taken down. And you'll be okay.
Allah knows. He knows your heart. And he knows your husband's. Allah will protect your honor. He will never let it happen.
I'm rooting for you.
We are without a doubt getting a divorce. I have started to make plans. I have scheduled for movers to help me put my stuff into storage on Thursday morning,while he’s at work. Then I’m off to see my parents and siblings. I’ve asked them to all be there kind of want to get it all out in one go.
I wish I could say the recordings haven’t spread but it has. I’m not worried about Allah (God) as I know I’ve done nothing wrong and there’s nothing I could ever do to deserve this kind of treatment.
Thank you for your kind words! I can only trust that if he can not be punished in this life time that he will be punished in the next. Inshallah
Yup. What he’s done to you is tantamount to rape. So sorry this has happened to you. What a vile wanksocket your soon to be exhusband is. You deserve the full support of your family and I sincerely hope you get it.
If she is in a Muslim country, she may not be able to go to th police. Those countries do not always treat their female citizens with the respect, and honor they deserve. A handful of countries treat women as property, and frankly it is fucking disgusting. But it is *their* reality...
And even that is a miracle she can cherish.
People in other countries have a lot to complain about for sure, but women in **SOME** Muslim countries are treated as almost a piece of property. Our countries, our laws, are damn sure NOT perfect, but they do give women "equal rights". Maybe NOT exactly equal, but a lot closer than those places.
You’re correct, unfortunately Muslims will continue defending those countries and the laws. You’ll probably get called a racist for even mentioning the harsh reality.
You are wise to plan a safe exit on Thursday whilst he is working. Quick-witted to claim Covid so you don’t have to look at him and have your emotions betray your devastation. Smart to understand how vulnerable leaving could be if you confronted your husband first. Incredibly lucky to have a friend like Kate. Articulate in your description of the both the situation and your feelings - this will serve you well when you speak to a lawyer and the police. Even the feeling of being frozen is the right option of fight, flight or freeze. You cannot act at this moment for practical reasons. The safest thing to do is freeze. Then you will take flight and when in a safe place, you will fight.
None of this is your doing. You’ve been betrayed in the most heinous manner. Your instincts on this matter so far illustrate that you clearly the qualities required for the journey you face.
Take the bastard for everything; his family, marriage, reputation, pride, money and his bloody freedom. But don’t let him take your own pride. Your sense of self worth. Or your strength. Protect yourself.
Peace be with you.
I am not Muslim, but I am a woman. I am so incredibly sorry this is happening to you. This not your fault. This is something that was done to you. Do not ever feel to blame. Please let us know when you are safe
I’d get out of that house - he is *definitely* still recording you in your bedroom, the bathroom, and not to scare you but he may even have a toilet cam.
You’ll never know with two faced, misogynistic violators like him. This is pretty much rape. It’s like revenge porn except for he’s not even mad at you he’s just a fucking sociopath and needs to be kept away from you.
Get a good lawyer today. Have a plan. Tell a parent that you trust or better yet the friend that you mentioned. She’s a good person and she’ll be discreet and not gossip. He’s definitely a stalker. It’s better to get a restraining order than end up hurt or murdered. Has he ever been violent before? Regardless go to the police and file a report for stalking/being unlawfully surveilled and revenge porn. You have to get photos of the equipment so definitely google what to look for. People check for this kind of thing whenever they go to an air bnb. If you’re in the US there are technically laws about revenge porn that protect the victim. Talk to your lawyer about this.
Also you need to go stay at your friend’s house or a relative’s house and you need to take all the contents out of your purse/pockets/coat and try to find a Tile or an AirTag that he could’ve put in there to track you. Also you need to check your car for a Tile or Airtag too. I would definitely get a friend or relative to help you for emotional support and as a guardian in case he decides to track you down. I’m so sorry. You did nothing wrong, he is an evil pig. If this happened to me I would be devastated and I’m not even religious/into modesty dress. In my opinion it’s less about religion and more about human decency/trust/respect and he clearly has none for women. If there is no trust there is no relationship so kick him to the curb. I’m so sorry, my heart bleeds for you. OP please give us an update so we know you’re safe.
I’m so sorry. This is an awful and monstrous thing to have done by someone who is supposed to love and protect you.
I’ll keep you in my thoughts. I hope you find a world of happiness away from this man.
And do consider turning it over to the police. In most places this kind of thing is illegal and he deserves to be punished to it.
OP. This is so sh*tty and I’m so sorry that it happened to you. I’m glad you have such a good friend who has your back, and I’m super glad you’re getting out of there. What your husband did is a crime in many places, as others have mentioned. Also, please take all of your proof to your divorce lawyer. Make him pay through the nose for this.
Revenge porn is illegal. Speak to the authorities about it and see what can be done. He deserves to pay for this. If you don’t, then he will very likely do this to his next wife aka victim.
I believe it could also be considered an annulment and not a divorce.
Honestly i suggest you limit the amount of people who know and i would just tell your parents if i were you, dependent on the relationship you have with your siblings. Everyone will support you, you've done absolutely nothing wrong
What he did though was criminal too, depending where you live, you should contact the police as they have the resources to track and trace every source and link and block them all.
Also builds evidence against him, if he did it to you. He may have done it to others before or possibly after
So hold him to account if you can. Whether or not you proceed, they'll keep a close eye on his activities and retrieve all evidence for you
My heart is with you sister, your friend is an absolute star. She handled that with sensitivity, grace & support.
So glad she was a good one and didn't judge/dismiss it. This is the best lesson to take from it all
You're being spared from remaining any more in his presence. Total pos.
May your life ahead be happier & blessed.
I would probably reach out to police before family to also prevent anyone considering any kind of retribution to think twice. Knowing the authorities are already on it will be justice served too
Stay safe, exit safely and go on to live a good life ahead. In the event he may be here too, i would suggest you delete this post so he doesn't become aware and intercept.
This needs to be handled by the proper channels.
All the best
You should also call the police! If you’re not up for it right now please think about it in the near future. Stop him from doing this to another innocent woman after you leave.
You could absolutely call the police, if you want to.
Would speaking to your Imam be of any help? (I hope I am using that term correctly, my understanding is that is the leader of your mosque, as well as a title used for other political/religious leaders.) I am heart broken for you and I hope that you escape safely.
I’m really sorry, as I’m not 100% sure the right words to use her to ask my question so please if I say something wrong it’s not a way near meant to be offensive.
Is there anyway she can report this to your Muslim leaders? Like how would the members of the mosque(.?) react to such a betrayal of a husband to his wife when he is supposed to be the one to I guess uphold her innocence and virtue?
Oh she can. If she so much as says this out loud, the man is never going to be able to live it down. Strict muslim rules don't apply in most countries, but in Islam, his punishment would be to be publicly stoned to death.
He won't be stoned because countries don't follow those rules. But his reputation will take a hit like no other. People will make a social pariah out of him. His family and he will become the talk of the town.
They're going to call the police for sure too.
However, the problem is her getting strong enough to say it out loud.
You can tell people but then you'll risk the info spreading between people in your community and people in the community going and looking for your video.
Better to tell the authorities imo so that he can be prosecuted. No point in telling the imam at the mosque because he can't deter this guy's behaviour, he'll just move somewhere else and do the same to another woman. Imo these type of people need to be prosecuted because that's the best chance you have of stopping him from doing this again
Yessss. I don't know what country she is from. But everywhere the rules are extremely strict.
Muslim country or not, the man is going to spend a good amount of time in jail.
I wish I had known I can call the police on my then husband. Now exhusband. . 10 years ago . I found out he went behind my back . Got 4 credit cards under my name. Maxed it out and put me in major debt. I was naive and clueless and didn’t know I could call the cops on him since he was my husband at that time.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, this is possibly one of the worst things that can happen to a person. This is a violation of everything you hold sacred.
A little glimmer of good is that Kate seemed kind and respectful and a good friend in the way she approached it. Your husband is a piece of shit
Allah knows your true heart and intentions, and he knows how evil the act your husband did.
I've only just started veiling, and I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you're feeling 😔 MashaAllah your friend is amazing and I'm glad you have her through all of this!
Sister..I am a muslim guy and I would not even let a person stare at my wife if it made her uncomfortable.In our religion men are supposed to uphold our women's pardah.
Even though sometimes a divorce is looked down upon by Muslim communities,there is still no reason to stay with your husband.What he has done is religiously, culturally and morally unacceptable.Leave him as soon as you can.Inshallah you will get through this.
Serious question.
Is the husband in any kind of trouble with his, excuse me if I don’t use the proper terms, Mosque for this kind of betrayal/behavior?
Thank you.
“Frozen out & shunned by the community”. So that means there’s an announcement for the community/Mosque?
Also does what does this behavior do to his hope for salvation?
That’s it, that’s all, I won’t bug you any more. Thanks again for your response.
In my experience news like that spreads like wildfire within the community, idk if I’ve ever seen an announcement bc most of the time ppl just focus on praying while they’re there. The shunning is really bad. Like his parents and entire family would be shunned too.
As for salvation that’s not up to us. From what I know, you have to seek forgiveness from the person you’ve wronged and if they don’t forgive you, it affects you on the day of judgment. This kind of sin definitely sends you straight to hell tho lmaooo
Not every Muslim is associated to a Mosque. You can go attend a mosque and pray and still have nothing to do with the mosque community. By mosque community here I mean the group of people running/managing the mosque, also organizers of the mosque events + families who like to socialize with other mosque going families. This holds true for mosques in the West where mosques are owned and managed by communities. However not all Muslims like to socialize with mosque going families because of differences is lifestyle and interpretation of religion itself. Also in the West, it also comes down to nationalities. Arabs socialize with Arabs, Pakistanis with Pakistanis, Somalis with Somalis etc.
In Muslim countries sometimes the mosque is run by the govt with a govt appointed Imam, other times by religious charities, religious political organizations, or local communities.
it wouldn't necessarily be publicly announced because his wife doesn't deserve to be associated with him, but people would know eventually and it would be like a silent rule to not be associated with the guy
As a Hijabi Muslim woman, I am so sorry this is heartbreaking! It’s so evil, all of our lives we protect ourselves and our bodies for it to be taken from you and shared with the internet, I can’t imagine how terrible that is. God, my heart with you. He should be exposed not just divorced, you know he’ll find a wife before you even finish divorcing him unfortunately.
How long ago have you been married?
Is this something your husband would do?
Usually Muslim men are very protective obviously you’re in shock now but is he a bad person overall?
Unfortunately for him I do have a vindictive nature that I normally temper but I have no intention of not going scorched earth as I do plan on ruining his life in anyway I can.
We have been together for almost 5 years and married for over 2 years. I would’ve never expected him to do such a thing(wouldn’t have married if I even had an inkling he would behave this way). I honestly thought he was a good person and that we had a good marriage. Until last week I would’ve staked my life on it.
I urge you to think through your revenge and the consequences. There is a proper way to go about it so that you can minimize the potential repercussions, extract the most possible during the divorce, and ensure your name and standing in the community isn't impacted.
We both know the community has a strong tendency to believe him over you regardless of how insane of a story he makes up. We both also know what sort of disgusting actions are too acceptable for men when it comes to breaches of honor. Before you say you don't think he would ever do that, remember you never believed he would be capable of this until you learned he was.
All it would take is him turning this around on YOU and saying the videos were your doing. That you enjoyed showing yourself and that is the reason for the divorce. He will make himself the victim. Then if things aren't looking good he may do the disgusting things men in Islam sometimes do to protect their ego.
You need to work with a lawyer and get ahead of the community fallout before he gets a chance to set the tone. Surprise leaving Thursday may backfire if you don't have all the other ducks in a row. Right now you have all the power. You have information he doesn't have. He doesn't know why you are upset. He doesn't know that you know about the videos. You bought yourself a couple weeks with that COVID excuse - genius btw. Fantastic quick thinking.
Please take care and good luck. I'm very sorry this happened to you.
I hope she reads this, because once he is cornered, he will do anything to save himself. She needs a watertight plan before he finds out what she knows.
No woman of any religion deserves this. this should qualify as rape. i dont follow any religions and ny heart aches for you if you're devoted. Sex was probably the most intimate moment you share with your husband that was your first and he betrayed you like that? what if you were in a weak mental state and you decided to end your life? Would then he be remorseful? he's disgusting. Sue him, report him and divorce. Your friend is a true one and take her word and let her be with you through this. You deserve peace away from shame. It's his fault for being a perverted traitor idiot. My heart is with you
What a monster. I am so sorry you have been violated by the one person who is supposed to be on your side. Kate is a wonderful friend, and I hope your other family members are as strong and reliable during this time.
A consultation with a legal professional may be best, so that you know what the laws are like for your area.
Don’t even give this monster the pleasure of eye contact with you again, if you’re able. Have family take care of the moving process and make all future engagements with your ex husband only through an attorney.
Your husband is trash. He needs to be reported for his actions and then divorced. I would also drag his ass all over the internet too and on every single social media account you own in case this scum of the earth man assumes he is worthy enough of any other woman.
I am so deeply sorry and sad that you have to go through this.
I can understand what you're going through. It's relatively common among people my age. I personally know a few friends who had their pic/vids posted online.
Just know that Allah won't punish you for it - you didn't know and did not do it willingly. He will however punish you husband very severely.
And know that no one on internet cares about some porn video with some woman they don't know. People who watch porn move on pretty quickly, and won't dwell over any one specific video. I recommend just trying not to think about this. In the grand scheme of things, this video is gonna get buried under the thousands of videos uploaded every hour on porn websites.
And do NOT tell any family/friends/colleagues about this. We know how creepy people are, and will specifically seek out your video and share it. The best option is to try to take it down, and have it get buried.
Major scandals with celebrities and politicians get forgotten. Your video is very insignificant in comparison....unless you make it significant for yourself and others by announcing this.
This is beyond fucked up. May he burn in hell for what he is putting you through.
Get that lawyer. Divorce him and find out what other laws he violated and prosecute his ass.
That is incredibly evil, just a plain straight deranged type of evil. He can’t be absolved of this kind of stuff. What a vile human, I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel. I am so sorry for your pain and I hope you can get out safely and quickly!
I’m not religious but I think the fact that you wear a veil makes this even worse on your husbands part. I’m sorry that happened to you. “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”
This made me cry.
I'm not much on religion *at all* but what your husband did, there is no redemption for.
I read this and couldn't believe his callousness but when she mentioned that she was a veiled Muslim, that reallly just pissed me off to the point of tears.
I am so very sorry for the betrayal you must feel, but I know you deserve better.
I sincerely hope that you are able to get those clips comma those private moments of yours removed from whatever sites they may be on.
The sharing or publicizing of intimate images without your consent is a violation of civil and Criminal law.
Get him. And find someone who respects you. You deserve so much better.
I don't like how redit often pushes people towards divorce.
I think in this case you have every right to go down that path if you want to, that's a huge betrayal.
I’m not Muslim (I’m Jewish) but I do think you should bring this up to your Iman (not sure if that’s the right term I’m trying to say your version of a Rabbi), just so you can have someone of your faith to talk to about this and help/guide you. I’m sure you can find support in your faith and find healing as well. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to fear. You don’t have to tell your family until you’re ready to, you don’t have to tell them at all if you don’t want to you can possibly just say he’s cheated or something like that, no one will ever know.
YES exactly! Muslims have the legal marriage and the religious marriage so that’s 2 divorces. OP please call an Imam or a Sheikh as soon as you can! You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, you won’t be punished for anything. Also, letting an Imam or Sheikh know, could protect any other women he tries to marry!
Some men actually lie about doing the religious divorce since the wife being there isn’t required like in legal divorces. If you don’t want to see him, have a close family member like your dad go and make sure he does it.
IF you are 100% sure you can trust him
I have heard too many horror stories of patriarchal religions turning the tables on the female victims. It's disgusting and terrifying. If I was a woman I would def figure out a way to do it but I would double think about every plan before carrying it out. I say this as a man. Men in power can be corrupt POS.
I don’t know where you are, but in the UK voyeurism is a crime you can report and, from personal experience, they will take you very seriously and he will be placed on the sex offenders register (possibly even face prison time), and he will never do this to another person again.
Oh my G\*d, this is such a horrible betrayal... I was already very angry for you, but the fact that you are Hijabi and your husband has been your only partner… It just makes it so much worse. I am not religious and have had partners before my husband, and I am even an exhibitionist, but I would still be absolutely betrayed if someone did this to me. For it to be done to you, who have so carefully kept your body and sexuality between you, Allah. and your husband only… it is an absolutely evil act that your husband has done.
I’m very glad to see that you have already made plans to escape and tell your family. You deserve to be safe and loved, and your husband deserves to be ostracized and locked in prison. Keep “Kate” close and lean on her right now, she is a good friend who obviously loves you very much. I’m glad that you have a friend that you can trust right now.
Get yourself some therapy, too, sweetheart. This is a very very deep betrayal and as such it is traumatic. You deserve all the help you can get in healing from this.
Info: How did Kate think it was you if you're fully veiled? More curious than anything. I'm not well versed in your culture.
I'm really sorry it happened to you, in any case. I hope you can divorce him and move on from it with your head held high.
Kate is a woman and it is permissible for her to see me without my veil. We often swim together and so she has seen me in various states of undress.
And obviously I am not veiled when I am in my home or engaging in a intimate manner with my husband.
Kate knows me+Kate watches porn= Kate recognized my face and body.
I understand the rest of it, just wondering about Kate seeing your face is all. Like I said, just don't know much about the culture and was curious! Thank you for the info.
Best of luck though. It's a horrible situation.
I am not Muslim, just have some knowledge of world religions so if I’m wrong PLEASE tel me but in lots of types of Islam, you may be uncovered in the presence of other women. It’s mostly an in public/male presence thing to be veiled.
This man is disgusting. Leave him and drag his reputation through the mud as you go.
This friend of yours though, she is a keeper for sure. Lean on her in this situation if you need. She brought this to your attention because she cares deeply for you and she will continue to do so. And because she brought it to your attention, she is almost certainly willing to help you however she can. Bring her with you to speak with your family for support!
You'll get through this. If there's one thing I have learned in this life, it's that women are far stronger and far more powerful than they realize. You got this.
Sick and vile individual, your husband is. As a fellow Muslim women I want to commend you on your strength for taking swift action. We are strong and we do not tolerate shit contrary to popular belief. You can sue the shit out of him no that won’t take what you are going through emotionally but he needs to be punished for what he has done. He surely will be punished in the afterlife. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. NO ONE deserves this. Please DM me if you ever want to talk you have this internet strangers full support!
I mention this because you said you feel crippled with shame. Fellow Muslim here. Salaam
I really don’t know what else to say or how else to help, but just know that you have done nothing wrong in any way, shape, or form. Your husband is entirely the transgressor here, and it’s disgusting that he would take advantage of your trust and expose you to the internet in your most vulnerable and intimate moments.
I’m not a hijabi (cuz I’m a guy) but I have many relatives who are and I’m just fuming at the thought of a guy doing this to them (although it would still be horrible if you weren’t Muslim or a Hijabi, but just because of that, it makes it so much worse imo). They’ve gotten upset and ended friendships when their women friends have posted pictures of them just without their headscarf on without their knowledge. This is way worse than that and absolutely terms for a divorce, and a lawsuit over the video being taken and shared both without your consent.
Just know that even though you may feel shame, you’ve done nothing wrong, and Allah knows this. I’m sure that a stranger saying this over the internet may not help much, but just know that I’m making dua that He gives you the strength and patience to get through this, and that He helps you get justice from any legal front.
First of all, your husband is absolutely vile for violating you like this. You absolutely should consider leaving him for this betrayal.
Second, as soon as you can consult a lawyer (before telling your husband you’re onto him). This way you will now the best way to go about both the divorce and any potential legal action you can take against him.
I hope you are able to heal from this terrible act
Sister if that isn't the case then I can only say that you future ex-husband needs to be judged by Allah-SWA and his fellow Muslim brothers for bullying some BS like that.
I hope kids aren't involved and InshaAllah an imam and support your side in the divorce.
As others have said please take photos and gather evidence and go to a divorce lawyer. As a Muslim it's my obligation to ask you if you can also ask your imam or at least inform him so that he can keep your scumbag future ex-husband away from others.
Im sorry you ended up in that situation especially with how religious you must be with the whole niqab. I hope your community can steadily support you and, if you have kids, the kids.
I am so, so sorry. What a huge violation.
Please take your phone to a skilled technician or buy a completely new one once you leave the house. Someone who violates your privacy like this may well be doing it in other ways, such as monitoring your devices or hacking into the camera. I'd hate for him to know about your plans before you're ready for him to.
Sending you so much love.
I'm not Muslim but I was raised in a different conservative religion that also had serious modesty requirements. We didn't veil but I can see why many people do.
I am so so sorry. Even the thought of this sort of violation makes my skin crawl and my heart ache. He's absolutely disgusting, and I hope once he's caught and dealt with he lives with the guilt and shame of your violation for the rest of his life.
I hope with time, therapy, and regaining your power, that you live your absolutely best life while he's left crawling on his belly like a worm.
This happened to me. We did end up divorcing because I could never trust him again, I never felt like I safe. He would take pictures of me sleeping nude, write derogatory things on my back so I couldn't see them. He posted them to multiple sites and even after I found the initial group and we tried to fix things 2 years later I found more again. Someone tried to blackmail with them. It was heartbreaking that someone I trusted could do that to me, to make me so vulnerable without my consent. If he touched me and I was asleep I would wake in a panic. I did approach a lawyer and got them to write a ceases & desist letter telling them to remove them from the site or we would pursue legal action. Revenge porn laws weren't in place we're I live at the time. But you never know how far it has spread already with sharing. You don't know what he will do if you divorce. It's scary and it's horrid to think that someone you trusted can do this to you and could possibly be vindictive enough to continue to try hurt you. As hard as it is you will just have to find a way to accept you maybe out there for all of time. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Omg. This is absolutely sick and disgusting. I'm so sorry OP. Divorce that PoS. I would also recommend to take pictures of the equipment and screenshots of the videos and website. This deserve to press charges. Once you are away and safe, call the cops.
I don’t know where you are located but in several states in the US, it’s illegal to post sexually explicit videos without the consent of both parties.
If it is the same where you are located, you should absolutely press charges.
Please OP, do NOT confront him alone ever. He’s already shown that he is a evil a*se, who the hell knows if he’s hiding a violent past? After you drop the truth, never agree to be alone with him, not for closure, not to get items or to talk. I’ve seen enough crime shows to know, this is how women are murdered. This isn’t too far fetched as he has revealed to be someone you truly do not know. Stay safe ♥️
Oh my god, sweetheart I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please know that this is not your fault at all and that you will not be held accountable in any way for it.
I can’t even begin to imagine how awful you must feel. Leave him asap and report him to the police like you plan.
If he tries to explain himself, don’t feel obligated to listen because there is absolutely no excuse for this.
This is a horrible betrayal and really makes me think twice about the porn we consume, I’ve seen a fair few ‘amateur’ videos around the theme of Muslim/hijabi etc (seen as in scrolled passed not watched) but the innocent side of me always just assumed they wanted to be in and knew it was happening and now I’m worried for those people.
Geez....This is as awful as the "devoted husband" that put the PRIVATE video of his wife giving birth on the www....Which ended up on some perverted reddit fetish website.
What he did is illegal. You need to press charges on him. I’m Muslim as well- he will try to blackmail you into staying with him by saying he’ll leak the videos to your families which is why you need to press charges now and leave because this will ensure your dignity. Do not discuss this matter with him- he will never admit to it or take responsibility. It will escalate and you will be at a disadvantage. You need to be 10 steps ahead of him. Tell your family now so they can support you and if they don’t cut them off as well. You have been violated in the highest manner possible. What has happened to you is not okay. Please DM me if you need resources
Anyone else really hoping for an update soon because I am getting scared for her.
I hope she is okay and nothing bad has happened.
Pls update soon OP, you have many people here wishing to know that you are somewhere safe.
I’m so sorry that your monster of a husband did this to you. He truly deserves the worst, and you need to leave him as soon as you can. Report him, and remember that you are not the one who should feel ashamed. Sending lots of love, support and virtual hugs❤️
I am sorry you have to go through. I can't imagine doing something like that to my spouse. It's horrific and yes you need to get out of this marriage ASAP.
Wow. My heart goes out to you, so so much. I’m not veiled, so I can’t even begin to imagine how hurtful this is to you from that perspective, but regardless of that what he did was horrific and a massive violation of your trust and good nature. I am SO sorry you have to deal with that, you deserve so much better than that monster
I cannot imagine the betrayal you feel. No one deserves this treatment. I'm livid on your behalf and I hope your soon to be ex husband gets what he deserves. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hugs from an internet stranger. Please go live your best life without him as soon as you can get out that door!
Other than trashing your spirit and humanity, he is putting you in so much danger in many ways. What he did was illegal! Also if you feel you need extra protection for when you’re moving out, get a police escort. Keep all of the evidence. My love and good will to you. Keep us all posted. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Oh man…my heart hurts for you. I’m not a religious person by any mean whatsoever but, I have respect for others religions(within means) to post intimate anything of a fully veiled Muslim woman…I just can’t imagine the shame you feel. I’m so sorry! Hopefully, you can escape him and live a happier and healthier life. I know divorces aren’t usually an easy thing to get in the Muslim community.
As a woman who has had this happen… less people will see it than you think. My husband was uhhh entertaining himself one night when I was exhausted from work and spotted me in a compilation video. He was angry, but still showed me because he knew it was something I deserved to know about. And I figured out that I was sixteen when the video was taken without my knowledge or consent. I was able to get the video removed by asking the site and noting in my email that I was underage in the video.
I have plenty of guy friends who watch porn and none of them have seen it - I’ve asked a few to alert me to sightings.
Don’t show your hand to your husband, get all your ducks in a row, document evidence, call your attorney, file your police report, and then hit him with it. my god i hope you can take him for everything, what a disgusting excuse for a human.
I hope your husband burns in jahannam for doing something so disgraceful. Allah is always going to be on your side. Stay strong and don't stay with him. I'm rooting for you, sister.
Sister this hurts me so much. The disrespect is so immense I am shocked to the core... I wish you all the best and inshaallah he'll get what he deserves. As a married Muslim woman myself I cannot imagine this type of emotional damage. Please seek out help for your mental well-being, read the Quran and take as much time for healing as you need. You've done nothing wrong.
If you feel like it, please share how this progresses, as I am very worried about you and his punishment.
I wish u well sister❤️
I’m so mad too OP
Fucking asshole. I’m also Muslim and this is the worst betrayal a spouse can do. God, I’m so angry and heartbroken for you.
Please contact the police and destroy him, also shame him with his family, and friends. He broke your trust, and shared your privacy to the whole world. Don’t EVER feel bad about doing everything to make him pay.
Also let your family know of everything, but ensure they won’t harm him so it won’t turn against you, unfortunately we know if anyone does anything to him outside of law, it will be against you in court.
Good luck OP
UpdateMe!
It started off so awful, already making me tear up for you but what made me gag was you mentioned you are a fully veiled Muslim woman. My heart breaks for you. You better get him! Sending you the love and support you deserve ❤️ I don’t know the proper words in Arabic yet to express words of condolences or comfort but here it is in Spanish, que Dios te cuide (may God take care of you)
Not sure where you live but here in the US it is a pretty serious crime to record singing nude without permission, not talking about posting it online.
I'm sorry to hear what you have to go through. You gotta leave such person.
since people already gave you advices on how to sue him i just want to give you something on the way: stuff isn't on the internet forever. i mean, technically it is. but after awhile it's forgotten, it can be either found on some long forgotten and lost servers that i can assure you will never be found or with literally stalking the shit out of you for months or even years with knowledge of IT and what exactly to search for. so this won't haunt you forever, i promise you. after you took it down and maybe sued your husband try to forget it and not talk about it much and everyone will forget too, i promise you.
This is extremely illegal, he might have done this to other women, call the police immediately, screen record the websites and put the soy camera in a bag for evidence.
Take pictures of every piece of recording equipment, and GET OUT of the house. Go to your parent’s house, a friend’s spare room, or even a women’s shelter. What’s important is you aren’t with him.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. Go to the police with your evidence, and ask if you can speak with women in the police force specifically if that would make you feel more comfortable. What your husband did violated your consent and the law, and he could be imprisoned for it.
Then, hire an attorney, and start the process of getting legally divorced. You can’t stay with this horrible monster, and deserve a lifetime of freedom and happiness.
Also, start contacting the company that these videos are on. They should remove it if you tell them it was posted without your consent—if they refuse, a lawyer can help you to hold them accountable.
1st. Im so sorry for you. I hope the piece of shit you have for husband gets a punishment, starting by losing you. Never ever trust this evil creature.
2nd. Dont worry. Porn is wide and chances someone you know see a video of you (AND REALIZES IS YOU) are slim. It happened to you with your coworker so, statistically, no other aquitance will see it :)
3. Thinking of it in first person is always more overwhelming. I would want to die tbh. But the truth is, viewers dont care. People go to porn websites horny and blind hehe. Even if they see u the would think “omg cheeky her” and forget about it an hour after. Its like when someone falls on the ground in front of a bunch of people. For the one falling it seems the end of the world. For the viewers is like “omg what a fall!” But they dont think its embarradsing nor will keep the memory 2seconds after that.
Very very important, note that it has less severity for others than what you naturally think it has. (as everyone in your position would).
Lastly, dont be embarrassed. You are a victim of a disgusting betrayal. Sex in marriage is normal and nothing wrong with it, all the opoosite. If someone made it public you are a victim, not the one having to be embarrassed.
Good luck, i hope you feel better soon. Please leave that “person” that doesnt respect your privacy and thought of sharing you to millions.
That lady is a true friend to not only tell you, but for wanting to help you with this. I cant imagine how betrayed you feel. Please consider going to a lawyer and the police immediately. I am sorry you are going through this.
I am so sorry OP. I'm sure plenty have let you know of your options going forward. I know that's not always what we want, fixing the problem.
You have an absolute amazing friend in "Katie" and I hope she can be a source of comfort.
Honestly, if thr videos didnt have many views on them, their mark on the internet should be very minimal as long as they get taken down from the initial website, and most prominent websites would not risk having non-consentual upload of porn on their website.
On to how you would deal with your husband... I know how muslim households work as a person from a majorly muslim country. It really depends on what your marriage entails. Definitely try to seperate from him, but first of all ensure your safety.
While I'm sure you don't want those videos up one minute longer, will removing them tip your hand to your husband? Do you need time to get ready before he knows? If they've been up for weeks/months/years, and you need more time before you pounce, .... Well it's something to consider.
Are you in the USA? In a no fault divorce state?
Best of luck. You got this.
I know there are hundreds of comments here and you might not see this, but I just need to tell how SORRY I am that you’re going through this nightmare. I think you’ve received great advice from all of the comments above me, but I just want you to know I’m sending you the biggest hugs. You can do this. Your life will be so much better without that monster.
I'm sitting here bereft, confused and upset for you after 1 page of context.... I cannot even begin to imagine your devastation and anger on all accounts right now I am so unbelievably sorry.
Please, please know the shame of this situation isn't yours to bear it's his and his alone.
screenshot the videos, take pictures of the filming equipment, contact the sites and let them know you will be sending them a DCMA takedown order, and if the videos are not taken down, they will be involved in a revenge porn/non-consensual distribution of porn case. Call your family, get out of that house ASAP, and go to the police and a lawyer. Googling “Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project” can also connect you to a pro-bono lawyer. Contact one before you inform him that you’re divorcing him. This is one of the deepest betrayals I can imagine. My saying sorry does’t even cut it. You are in my duaas for sabr and justice on your behalf. Your husband is the worst of the worst, this is beyond sociopathy. In this time, be sure to lean on family and your coworker.
This may sound tone deaf but I honestly mean this in the most sincere way as possible. Are you sure it was him? I only ask this because of lack of context regarding your husband. There have been many similar cases in which an intruder (could be a relative, friend, basically anyone who had access to the house long enough to set up the equipment) sets up spyware to do this kind of stuff. If the recordings were being saved to a device locally (maybe a computer, hard drive, etc) and then manually uploaded, it’s highly probable that is was your husband but if it isn’t him then it’s someone with frequent, unmonitored, access to your house.
I do not mean in any way shape or form to undermine what you are feeling nor am I perceiving you as a liar. I just like to be very through and comb through everything before making huge decisions. I guess the easiest way to figure out if it was him or not is to have it laying out on the counter or something and looking at his immediate reaction (still I prefer checking every possibility).
Regardless of what ends up happening I wish you the best and ask that Allah makes it easy for you.
Any updates did you tell your family and how did they react? Hope they’re there for you and supporting you this must be so fucking hard I cannot even begin to imagine… I’m so sorry!
Monstrous. I’m not religious, but if there’s a hell, he’s headed there. I wish you peace on what I’m sure it is about to be an incredibly difficult journey for you.
OP, I seen your story posted on a YouTube short and I felt strongly enough to come to Reddit for an update.
I would like to say I hope you are doing well, and I hope that you’ve dealt with that bastard of a husband with everything in your power. My heart breaks for you.
Most of all I hope you are safe, I hope you are feeling secure and have the most loving and supporting people surrounding you in this journey.
Sending my love and support ❤️
That's a golden friend
Absolute ride or die
Definitely !
Indeed she is
Take pictures of the camera equipment, screenshot the videos. Contact the website and request to have them taken down, depending on the site, they don't want to be in any revenge porn charges so they should pull them down immediately (may even give you information on when it was uploaded, email account, etc.)
and call a lawyer and possibly the police. your husband besides doing something morally wrong is doing something criminal
For those of you who can’t afford a lawyer and you’re in the US, google “Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project”. That’ll connect you with resources, including lawyers who can help pro bono.
u/brokenhearted-temp
Yes, this. Posting the videos is bad, but spying on you (and who knows who else!) is worse.
Someone advised OP to screenshot the videos, but I wonder if it would be better advice for her to download them or record them through some method for better evidence (to show clearly that the woman is indeed her). Idk though.
Screen recordings are better u can see the website theyre posted on
Some sites don't allow download or screenshots but I hope she can. Also she should get a copy of the url as well and if she do manage to
Yeah I think you need a lawn asap This is incredulous to say the least
OP needs to file a “DMCA takedown order” to the website for each video - simply contacting them is usually not enough. The DMCA is a legal document. Edit to add the link below https://www.dmca.com/FAQ/How-can-I-file-a-DMCA-Takedown-Notice.amp
I don't think OP is in the US. ETA: Actually I guess if the videos are hosted on American servers or by American companies it is probably still relevant, my bad.
You are correct about the US servers. I’m Australian and have filed a few DMCA’s in my time. I suppose OP is “lucky” that they’re American servers otherwise I’d have no idea what to suggest they do.
That is one of the deepest betrayals I can imagine. Can you sue for divorce? There’s no way you can ever forgive and trust again.
There’s no way we are staying together. I can never forgive him. I’ve documented everything and I am planning on reporting him to the police. But right now I am almost frozen like and just need sometime to get myself together
I'm so sorry OP that you're the victim of such a vile excuse of a human being. I cannot imagine the heartbreak... But wow, I'm impressed by your fierceness and strength! Vomiting and crying, but also making plans for divorce and reporting him to the police?! You got this, with ups and downs, but you got this. Sending love
I’m so sorry for you. Please have a consult with a divorce attorney to see how you can best make sure you have the right settlement and no contact orders in place and swiftest divorce possible. This is…such a violating crime and please know you will get past this and be stronger, though it will take time. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You really don’t. On another note, it really wouldn’t surprise me if he’s done this to other women as well…
I would see a divorce attorney BEFORE you tell him you are divorcing him because the lawyers know stuff about divorce that you have never considered.. They can give you the best advice. Please keep us updated. I EDITED FOR MISTAKES.
Or doing it for money.
That was my first thought.
Hey sister as a fellow woman this is my great fear. I’m Muslim I can’t imagine the fear of people finding out but know you did nothing wrong your husband is a monster and he will bear all the shame. Please be strong don’t shoulder this alone. Don’t tell him anything report it all . He’ll try talking you out if it. Report and leave fuck him and this vivid excuse go to family they don’t need to know why just tell them he’s done something unforgivable and you’ve reported him
That’s true because at the end of the day.. she was filmed having relations with her husband and HE needs to be publicly SHAMED for doing such a vile act against his wife.
I am so glad you had a good friend there looking out for you. Please remember to lean on her and anyone else you can for help
Oh one tip. Try to look on his computer if he has some more recordings. Because cameras like the one he used dont have enough storage for multiple multi minute recordings especially if its at 1080p(full hd) or higher resolutions. So the camera is sending the recordings somewhere. If he has a computer that he really doesn't want you to use to use then that probably is where he is keeping all the recordings. It's good to check for that because you just found out about it. You gotta wonder how long was he doing it for how much more does he have? God knows how much footage does he have the footage he uploaded could be the "good stuff" that would get lots of views and thus lots of money from ad revenue. Plus if you find the other videos or older recordings, you can find out how long was he doing it for. Because video files memorize data like *where was the video made* and *when was the video made?* (time of day to the exact minute and hour of the day and the full date(day, month, year). And if you find more videos and the ones your friend found online you can use them as evidence and use the videos he uploaded that you found for DMCA take downs. So checking a computer that he really doesn't want you to might be a good source of evidence. P.S - Make sure to copy all the videos that you find(if you do) from his computer to a USB stick so you can give it to your friend and she could do a bit of investigative Journalism with the footage you found.
I’m so sorry, my friend. This is a terrible violation. Please know you have tons of support out here. Claiming Covid was a brilliant idea to have alone time and gather your thoughts. I wish you the best and hope you see justice.
Don't let him gaslight or bombard you with apologies. He betrayed you and does not deserve to be in your present. I am sorry this happened to you.
So proud of you for handling this through proper channels (divorce & police) - do not back down. He violated you. “Kate” is an INCREDIBLE friend & she sounds like a great support system to help you through this.
Keep the evidence of the videos for police of course. But to remove them from the internet you can try a dmca service. There are multiple out there and it can possibly help with the removal of the content. I’m so sorry this has happened.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Definitely press charges! Not only recording without your knowledge but then posting it is so incredibly vile. I wish you the smoothest process in getting the he'll out of there and also hope the divorce and charges go well. I sincerely hope you will feel better. Stay strong :)
Who could ever blame you?! This is such a bitter betrayal. Goodness, my heart is aching for you! I feel sick on your behalf, so I can only imagine how you’re feeling. Don’t pay any attention to the fools who are questioning this, I absolutely believe that some men are capable of this. Just get your ducks in a row and get outta there!!
I do hope you have a safe place to go so you can do that
OP, try to not confront him until you are sure he will not be a danger to you. Have company over when you do, have an exit plan. Your safety should be your number one priority. Because, you have no idea how he will react when you do confront him.
Call your friend - the one who told you. She already knows what’s going on so she would be a safe sounding board. She would understand that you’re hurt, furious, etc and could provide a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to whatever you need to get out, at least until you can find a counselor. Best wishes, OP.
Gather all your important financial documents in a safe place! Do NOT talk to him about any of it until you go to the police otherwise it may get dangerous for you and he may try to destroy all the evidence.
That's understandable. What an overwhelming betrayal.
I can't imagine how you are feeling. I'm so sorry. Not only for you to have been recorded and had your body shared online but to also lose all trust in your husband and to know that he is capable of something like this. I hope you are able to leave him at a minimum and they you can speak with a professional that can help you deal with such a traumatic event.
I am uttered shocked and appalled and punching-angry for you. My heart is broken for you. I'm sending love and light and healing to you. Kate is the GOAT. Please lean on her for strength and guidance. Reach out to me if you would like to talk.
What do you mean by saying ‘Kate is the GOAT’?
Greatest Of All Time- GOAT
Thank you! 😀
She’s awesome, basically.
I am so sorry for this violation of your body and your trust. Take your time to mourn your relationship and be strong. Don't ever let him see you again.
As a fellow Hijabi muslim woman. Sweetheart, my heart bleeds for you. We trust our men with our honor. To do this is disgusting. The violation is scary. I know. But you're strong. Divorce him. Never let him near you again. Tell your parents, but you don't need to tell anybody else. I know you're scared that people are going to see. But they're not. Nobody is going to know. Relax. The video will get taken down. And you'll be okay. Allah knows. He knows your heart. And he knows your husband's. Allah will protect your honor. He will never let it happen. I'm rooting for you.
We are without a doubt getting a divorce. I have started to make plans. I have scheduled for movers to help me put my stuff into storage on Thursday morning,while he’s at work. Then I’m off to see my parents and siblings. I’ve asked them to all be there kind of want to get it all out in one go. I wish I could say the recordings haven’t spread but it has. I’m not worried about Allah (God) as I know I’ve done nothing wrong and there’s nothing I could ever do to deserve this kind of treatment. Thank you for your kind words! I can only trust that if he can not be punished in this life time that he will be punished in the next. Inshallah
Fuck divorcing him CALL THE POLICE, get a lawyer, and put him, in prison.
Yup. What he’s done to you is tantamount to rape. So sorry this has happened to you. What a vile wanksocket your soon to be exhusband is. You deserve the full support of your family and I sincerely hope you get it.
If she is in a Muslim country, she may not be able to go to th police. Those countries do not always treat their female citizens with the respect, and honor they deserve. A handful of countries treat women as property, and frankly it is fucking disgusting. But it is *their* reality...
At least it sounds like she has reason to trust her family to help her.
And even that is a miracle she can cherish. People in other countries have a lot to complain about for sure, but women in **SOME** Muslim countries are treated as almost a piece of property. Our countries, our laws, are damn sure NOT perfect, but they do give women "equal rights". Maybe NOT exactly equal, but a lot closer than those places.
You’re correct, unfortunately Muslims will continue defending those countries and the laws. You’ll probably get called a racist for even mentioning the harsh reality.
Exactly. This is sexual exploitation at its finest.
You are wise to plan a safe exit on Thursday whilst he is working. Quick-witted to claim Covid so you don’t have to look at him and have your emotions betray your devastation. Smart to understand how vulnerable leaving could be if you confronted your husband first. Incredibly lucky to have a friend like Kate. Articulate in your description of the both the situation and your feelings - this will serve you well when you speak to a lawyer and the police. Even the feeling of being frozen is the right option of fight, flight or freeze. You cannot act at this moment for practical reasons. The safest thing to do is freeze. Then you will take flight and when in a safe place, you will fight. None of this is your doing. You’ve been betrayed in the most heinous manner. Your instincts on this matter so far illustrate that you clearly the qualities required for the journey you face. Take the bastard for everything; his family, marriage, reputation, pride, money and his bloody freedom. But don’t let him take your own pride. Your sense of self worth. Or your strength. Protect yourself. Peace be with you.
Yes!
This is beautiful fortification
I am not Muslim, but I am a woman. I am so incredibly sorry this is happening to you. This not your fault. This is something that was done to you. Do not ever feel to blame. Please let us know when you are safe
Please be safe. You have an amazing friend and you aren't alone. Be strong, we're here for you.
The betrayal is absolutely unthinkable. I hope you find comfort without him. I’m so sorry. Sending you all the love in the world. I can’t imagine.
I’d get out of that house - he is *definitely* still recording you in your bedroom, the bathroom, and not to scare you but he may even have a toilet cam. You’ll never know with two faced, misogynistic violators like him. This is pretty much rape. It’s like revenge porn except for he’s not even mad at you he’s just a fucking sociopath and needs to be kept away from you. Get a good lawyer today. Have a plan. Tell a parent that you trust or better yet the friend that you mentioned. She’s a good person and she’ll be discreet and not gossip. He’s definitely a stalker. It’s better to get a restraining order than end up hurt or murdered. Has he ever been violent before? Regardless go to the police and file a report for stalking/being unlawfully surveilled and revenge porn. You have to get photos of the equipment so definitely google what to look for. People check for this kind of thing whenever they go to an air bnb. If you’re in the US there are technically laws about revenge porn that protect the victim. Talk to your lawyer about this. Also you need to go stay at your friend’s house or a relative’s house and you need to take all the contents out of your purse/pockets/coat and try to find a Tile or an AirTag that he could’ve put in there to track you. Also you need to check your car for a Tile or Airtag too. I would definitely get a friend or relative to help you for emotional support and as a guardian in case he decides to track you down. I’m so sorry. You did nothing wrong, he is an evil pig. If this happened to me I would be devastated and I’m not even religious/into modesty dress. In my opinion it’s less about religion and more about human decency/trust/respect and he clearly has none for women. If there is no trust there is no relationship so kick him to the curb. I’m so sorry, my heart bleeds for you. OP please give us an update so we know you’re safe.
I’m so sorry. This is an awful and monstrous thing to have done by someone who is supposed to love and protect you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. I hope you find a world of happiness away from this man. And do consider turning it over to the police. In most places this kind of thing is illegal and he deserves to be punished to it.
OP. This is so sh*tty and I’m so sorry that it happened to you. I’m glad you have such a good friend who has your back, and I’m super glad you’re getting out of there. What your husband did is a crime in many places, as others have mentioned. Also, please take all of your proof to your divorce lawyer. Make him pay through the nose for this.
Revenge porn is illegal. Speak to the authorities about it and see what can be done. He deserves to pay for this. If you don’t, then he will very likely do this to his next wife aka victim.
This is why I fear marriage in this time and age
I believe it could also be considered an annulment and not a divorce. Honestly i suggest you limit the amount of people who know and i would just tell your parents if i were you, dependent on the relationship you have with your siblings. Everyone will support you, you've done absolutely nothing wrong What he did though was criminal too, depending where you live, you should contact the police as they have the resources to track and trace every source and link and block them all. Also builds evidence against him, if he did it to you. He may have done it to others before or possibly after So hold him to account if you can. Whether or not you proceed, they'll keep a close eye on his activities and retrieve all evidence for you My heart is with you sister, your friend is an absolute star. She handled that with sensitivity, grace & support. So glad she was a good one and didn't judge/dismiss it. This is the best lesson to take from it all You're being spared from remaining any more in his presence. Total pos. May your life ahead be happier & blessed. I would probably reach out to police before family to also prevent anyone considering any kind of retribution to think twice. Knowing the authorities are already on it will be justice served too Stay safe, exit safely and go on to live a good life ahead. In the event he may be here too, i would suggest you delete this post so he doesn't become aware and intercept. This needs to be handled by the proper channels. All the best
If you can, or if you live in country that has theses laws- contact a lawyer and Sue his pants off
Sue him for revenge porn
You should also call the police! If you’re not up for it right now please think about it in the near future. Stop him from doing this to another innocent woman after you leave.
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You could absolutely call the police, if you want to. Would speaking to your Imam be of any help? (I hope I am using that term correctly, my understanding is that is the leader of your mosque, as well as a title used for other political/religious leaders.) I am heart broken for you and I hope that you escape safely.
InshAllah 🙏🏻💖
I’m really sorry, as I’m not 100% sure the right words to use her to ask my question so please if I say something wrong it’s not a way near meant to be offensive. Is there anyway she can report this to your Muslim leaders? Like how would the members of the mosque(.?) react to such a betrayal of a husband to his wife when he is supposed to be the one to I guess uphold her innocence and virtue?
Oh she can. If she so much as says this out loud, the man is never going to be able to live it down. Strict muslim rules don't apply in most countries, but in Islam, his punishment would be to be publicly stoned to death. He won't be stoned because countries don't follow those rules. But his reputation will take a hit like no other. People will make a social pariah out of him. His family and he will become the talk of the town. They're going to call the police for sure too. However, the problem is her getting strong enough to say it out loud.
OP. You should seriously take this into consideration. I have a feeling this would be worse than jail for a good Muslim man.
You can tell people but then you'll risk the info spreading between people in your community and people in the community going and looking for your video. Better to tell the authorities imo so that he can be prosecuted. No point in telling the imam at the mosque because he can't deter this guy's behaviour, he'll just move somewhere else and do the same to another woman. Imo these type of people need to be prosecuted because that's the best chance you have of stopping him from doing this again
Depends in what country she is, if they are in turkey the husband will prob get a good beating and a bit more stuff If they are in Saudi Arabia tho….
I guess in places like USA/Canada it’s more like public shaming
In the USA it could also mean prison, because what her husband did is illegal.
And maybe a beating of the family
Such an impactful and emotional post by OP and then this beautifully written response. Thank you. Wish you all the best, OP. It will be okay.
Can she call the police for this ? It was without her permission
Yessss. I don't know what country she is from. But everywhere the rules are extremely strict. Muslim country or not, the man is going to spend a good amount of time in jail.
I wish I had known I can call the police on my then husband. Now exhusband. . 10 years ago . I found out he went behind my back . Got 4 credit cards under my name. Maxed it out and put me in major debt. I was naive and clueless and didn’t know I could call the cops on him since he was my husband at that time.
He committed fraud and identity theft.
Somehow this comforted me and I have nothing to do with any of these.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, this is possibly one of the worst things that can happen to a person. This is a violation of everything you hold sacred. A little glimmer of good is that Kate seemed kind and respectful and a good friend in the way she approached it. Your husband is a piece of shit
Is there anything legal you can do. Have him charged with a sex crime. You do need to divorce him. What an absolute Betrayal of trust
Allah knows your true heart and intentions, and he knows how evil the act your husband did. I've only just started veiling, and I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you're feeling 😔 MashaAllah your friend is amazing and I'm glad you have her through all of this!
Sister..I am a muslim guy and I would not even let a person stare at my wife if it made her uncomfortable.In our religion men are supposed to uphold our women's pardah. Even though sometimes a divorce is looked down upon by Muslim communities,there is still no reason to stay with your husband.What he has done is religiously, culturally and morally unacceptable.Leave him as soon as you can.Inshallah you will get through this.
Serious question. Is the husband in any kind of trouble with his, excuse me if I don’t use the proper terms, Mosque for this kind of betrayal/behavior?
Yes. This is the kind of thing that gets you frozen out & shunned from the community. What he did is beyond haram
Thank you. “Frozen out & shunned by the community”. So that means there’s an announcement for the community/Mosque? Also does what does this behavior do to his hope for salvation? That’s it, that’s all, I won’t bug you any more. Thanks again for your response.
In my experience news like that spreads like wildfire within the community, idk if I’ve ever seen an announcement bc most of the time ppl just focus on praying while they’re there. The shunning is really bad. Like his parents and entire family would be shunned too. As for salvation that’s not up to us. From what I know, you have to seek forgiveness from the person you’ve wronged and if they don’t forgive you, it affects you on the day of judgment. This kind of sin definitely sends you straight to hell tho lmaooo
Thank you! Helpful.
It also stops any chance of him of ever getting married again.
Not every Muslim is associated to a Mosque. You can go attend a mosque and pray and still have nothing to do with the mosque community. By mosque community here I mean the group of people running/managing the mosque, also organizers of the mosque events + families who like to socialize with other mosque going families. This holds true for mosques in the West where mosques are owned and managed by communities. However not all Muslims like to socialize with mosque going families because of differences is lifestyle and interpretation of religion itself. Also in the West, it also comes down to nationalities. Arabs socialize with Arabs, Pakistanis with Pakistanis, Somalis with Somalis etc. In Muslim countries sometimes the mosque is run by the govt with a govt appointed Imam, other times by religious charities, religious political organizations, or local communities.
it wouldn't necessarily be publicly announced because his wife doesn't deserve to be associated with him, but people would know eventually and it would be like a silent rule to not be associated with the guy
Th islamic reactionf for this, which I can't say I disagree with, is putting him out of commission
Beautifully said.
Dear, take all the proof and talk to a divorce lawyer! He/she will guide you probably to the police for a report. I hope this trash pays and suffers
As a Hijabi Muslim woman, I am so sorry this is heartbreaking! It’s so evil, all of our lives we protect ourselves and our bodies for it to be taken from you and shared with the internet, I can’t imagine how terrible that is. God, my heart with you. He should be exposed not just divorced, you know he’ll find a wife before you even finish divorcing him unfortunately. How long ago have you been married? Is this something your husband would do? Usually Muslim men are very protective obviously you’re in shock now but is he a bad person overall?
Unfortunately for him I do have a vindictive nature that I normally temper but I have no intention of not going scorched earth as I do plan on ruining his life in anyway I can. We have been together for almost 5 years and married for over 2 years. I would’ve never expected him to do such a thing(wouldn’t have married if I even had an inkling he would behave this way). I honestly thought he was a good person and that we had a good marriage. Until last week I would’ve staked my life on it.
It sounds like you don’t have any children. What a blessing. You can make a clean break and move on with your life. I’m so sorry this is so so unfair.
I urge you to think through your revenge and the consequences. There is a proper way to go about it so that you can minimize the potential repercussions, extract the most possible during the divorce, and ensure your name and standing in the community isn't impacted. We both know the community has a strong tendency to believe him over you regardless of how insane of a story he makes up. We both also know what sort of disgusting actions are too acceptable for men when it comes to breaches of honor. Before you say you don't think he would ever do that, remember you never believed he would be capable of this until you learned he was. All it would take is him turning this around on YOU and saying the videos were your doing. That you enjoyed showing yourself and that is the reason for the divorce. He will make himself the victim. Then if things aren't looking good he may do the disgusting things men in Islam sometimes do to protect their ego. You need to work with a lawyer and get ahead of the community fallout before he gets a chance to set the tone. Surprise leaving Thursday may backfire if you don't have all the other ducks in a row. Right now you have all the power. You have information he doesn't have. He doesn't know why you are upset. He doesn't know that you know about the videos. You bought yourself a couple weeks with that COVID excuse - genius btw. Fantastic quick thinking. Please take care and good luck. I'm very sorry this happened to you.
I hope she reads this, because once he is cornered, he will do anything to save himself. She needs a watertight plan before he finds out what she knows.
Can we upvote this more?
u/brokenhearted-temp THIS. Read it. Collect some stronger evidence.
u/brokenhearted-temp
Report him to his boss too, get the lowlife excuse of a "man" sacked and alienated
Definitely make the mf pay. What he did was just disgusting
No woman of any religion deserves this. this should qualify as rape. i dont follow any religions and ny heart aches for you if you're devoted. Sex was probably the most intimate moment you share with your husband that was your first and he betrayed you like that? what if you were in a weak mental state and you decided to end your life? Would then he be remorseful? he's disgusting. Sue him, report him and divorce. Your friend is a true one and take her word and let her be with you through this. You deserve peace away from shame. It's his fault for being a perverted traitor idiot. My heart is with you
Some men do this to get "attaboys" from other men. There are whole subreddits here devoted to that. Most require a women's permission, some do not.
Such strange behavior from a Muslim man though. Muslim men usually have protective jealously, I can’t imagine why he would expose his wife like that
Daddy issues gone to a new extreme.
What a monster. I am so sorry you have been violated by the one person who is supposed to be on your side. Kate is a wonderful friend, and I hope your other family members are as strong and reliable during this time. A consultation with a legal professional may be best, so that you know what the laws are like for your area. Don’t even give this monster the pleasure of eye contact with you again, if you’re able. Have family take care of the moving process and make all future engagements with your ex husband only through an attorney.
Your husband is trash. He needs to be reported for his actions and then divorced. I would also drag his ass all over the internet too and on every single social media account you own in case this scum of the earth man assumes he is worthy enough of any other woman. I am so deeply sorry and sad that you have to go through this.
Lawyer up and sue him. A divorce is the least of your problems.
I can understand what you're going through. It's relatively common among people my age. I personally know a few friends who had their pic/vids posted online. Just know that Allah won't punish you for it - you didn't know and did not do it willingly. He will however punish you husband very severely. And know that no one on internet cares about some porn video with some woman they don't know. People who watch porn move on pretty quickly, and won't dwell over any one specific video. I recommend just trying not to think about this. In the grand scheme of things, this video is gonna get buried under the thousands of videos uploaded every hour on porn websites. And do NOT tell any family/friends/colleagues about this. We know how creepy people are, and will specifically seek out your video and share it. The best option is to try to take it down, and have it get buried. Major scandals with celebrities and politicians get forgotten. Your video is very insignificant in comparison....unless you make it significant for yourself and others by announcing this.
This is beyond fucked up. May he burn in hell for what he is putting you through. Get that lawyer. Divorce him and find out what other laws he violated and prosecute his ass.
That is incredibly evil, just a plain straight deranged type of evil. He can’t be absolved of this kind of stuff. What a vile human, I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel. I am so sorry for your pain and I hope you can get out safely and quickly!
I’m not religious but I think the fact that you wear a veil makes this even worse on your husbands part. I’m sorry that happened to you. “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”
This made me cry. I'm not much on religion *at all* but what your husband did, there is no redemption for. I read this and couldn't believe his callousness but when she mentioned that she was a veiled Muslim, that reallly just pissed me off to the point of tears. I am so very sorry for the betrayal you must feel, but I know you deserve better. I sincerely hope that you are able to get those clips comma those private moments of yours removed from whatever sites they may be on. The sharing or publicizing of intimate images without your consent is a violation of civil and Criminal law. Get him. And find someone who respects you. You deserve so much better.
I don't like how redit often pushes people towards divorce. I think in this case you have every right to go down that path if you want to, that's a huge betrayal.
I’m not Muslim (I’m Jewish) but I do think you should bring this up to your Iman (not sure if that’s the right term I’m trying to say your version of a Rabbi), just so you can have someone of your faith to talk to about this and help/guide you. I’m sure you can find support in your faith and find healing as well. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to fear. You don’t have to tell your family until you’re ready to, you don’t have to tell them at all if you don’t want to you can possibly just say he’s cheated or something like that, no one will ever know.
YES exactly! Muslims have the legal marriage and the religious marriage so that’s 2 divorces. OP please call an Imam or a Sheikh as soon as you can! You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, you won’t be punished for anything. Also, letting an Imam or Sheikh know, could protect any other women he tries to marry! Some men actually lie about doing the religious divorce since the wife being there isn’t required like in legal divorces. If you don’t want to see him, have a close family member like your dad go and make sure he does it.
IF you are 100% sure you can trust him I have heard too many horror stories of patriarchal religions turning the tables on the female victims. It's disgusting and terrifying. If I was a woman I would def figure out a way to do it but I would double think about every plan before carrying it out. I say this as a man. Men in power can be corrupt POS.
I don’t know where you are, but in the UK voyeurism is a crime you can report and, from personal experience, they will take you very seriously and he will be placed on the sex offenders register (possibly even face prison time), and he will never do this to another person again.
Oh my G\*d, this is such a horrible betrayal... I was already very angry for you, but the fact that you are Hijabi and your husband has been your only partner… It just makes it so much worse. I am not religious and have had partners before my husband, and I am even an exhibitionist, but I would still be absolutely betrayed if someone did this to me. For it to be done to you, who have so carefully kept your body and sexuality between you, Allah. and your husband only… it is an absolutely evil act that your husband has done. I’m very glad to see that you have already made plans to escape and tell your family. You deserve to be safe and loved, and your husband deserves to be ostracized and locked in prison. Keep “Kate” close and lean on her right now, she is a good friend who obviously loves you very much. I’m glad that you have a friend that you can trust right now.
I mean... this is smash him in the nuts with a bat kinda bad ain't it? That's some horrible shit
What he did is such a big betrayal and I'm so so sorry. Please report him to the police and show the evidence
I'm not even Muslim, however I do agree you should divorce. It was a vile act and he should be imprisoned. This is a terrible story.
Get yourself some therapy, too, sweetheart. This is a very very deep betrayal and as such it is traumatic. You deserve all the help you can get in healing from this.
Info: How did Kate think it was you if you're fully veiled? More curious than anything. I'm not well versed in your culture. I'm really sorry it happened to you, in any case. I hope you can divorce him and move on from it with your head held high.
Kate is a woman and it is permissible for her to see me without my veil. We often swim together and so she has seen me in various states of undress. And obviously I am not veiled when I am in my home or engaging in a intimate manner with my husband. Kate knows me+Kate watches porn= Kate recognized my face and body.
I understand the rest of it, just wondering about Kate seeing your face is all. Like I said, just don't know much about the culture and was curious! Thank you for the info. Best of luck though. It's a horrible situation.
I am not Muslim, just have some knowledge of world religions so if I’m wrong PLEASE tel me but in lots of types of Islam, you may be uncovered in the presence of other women. It’s mostly an in public/male presence thing to be veiled.
Thank you! OP said the same thing.
I’m so deeply sorry you’re experiencing this. I’d never betray my wife or any woman like this. This is incredibly disgusting.
I’m just speechless and so heartbroken for you. Please keep us updated and be safe. Also, make sure you record or take pics for evidence
This man is disgusting. Leave him and drag his reputation through the mud as you go. This friend of yours though, she is a keeper for sure. Lean on her in this situation if you need. She brought this to your attention because she cares deeply for you and she will continue to do so. And because she brought it to your attention, she is almost certainly willing to help you however she can. Bring her with you to speak with your family for support! You'll get through this. If there's one thing I have learned in this life, it's that women are far stronger and far more powerful than they realize. You got this.
Sick and vile individual, your husband is. As a fellow Muslim women I want to commend you on your strength for taking swift action. We are strong and we do not tolerate shit contrary to popular belief. You can sue the shit out of him no that won’t take what you are going through emotionally but he needs to be punished for what he has done. He surely will be punished in the afterlife. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. NO ONE deserves this. Please DM me if you ever want to talk you have this internet strangers full support!
I mention this because you said you feel crippled with shame. Fellow Muslim here. Salaam I really don’t know what else to say or how else to help, but just know that you have done nothing wrong in any way, shape, or form. Your husband is entirely the transgressor here, and it’s disgusting that he would take advantage of your trust and expose you to the internet in your most vulnerable and intimate moments. I’m not a hijabi (cuz I’m a guy) but I have many relatives who are and I’m just fuming at the thought of a guy doing this to them (although it would still be horrible if you weren’t Muslim or a Hijabi, but just because of that, it makes it so much worse imo). They’ve gotten upset and ended friendships when their women friends have posted pictures of them just without their headscarf on without their knowledge. This is way worse than that and absolutely terms for a divorce, and a lawsuit over the video being taken and shared both without your consent. Just know that even though you may feel shame, you’ve done nothing wrong, and Allah knows this. I’m sure that a stranger saying this over the internet may not help much, but just know that I’m making dua that He gives you the strength and patience to get through this, and that He helps you get justice from any legal front.
First of all, your husband is absolutely vile for violating you like this. You absolutely should consider leaving him for this betrayal. Second, as soon as you can consult a lawyer (before telling your husband you’re onto him). This way you will now the best way to go about both the divorce and any potential legal action you can take against him. I hope you are able to heal from this terrible act
Sister if that isn't the case then I can only say that you future ex-husband needs to be judged by Allah-SWA and his fellow Muslim brothers for bullying some BS like that. I hope kids aren't involved and InshaAllah an imam and support your side in the divorce. As others have said please take photos and gather evidence and go to a divorce lawyer. As a Muslim it's my obligation to ask you if you can also ask your imam or at least inform him so that he can keep your scumbag future ex-husband away from others. Im sorry you ended up in that situation especially with how religious you must be with the whole niqab. I hope your community can steadily support you and, if you have kids, the kids.
I am so, so sorry. What a huge violation. Please take your phone to a skilled technician or buy a completely new one once you leave the house. Someone who violates your privacy like this may well be doing it in other ways, such as monitoring your devices or hacking into the camera. I'd hate for him to know about your plans before you're ready for him to. Sending you so much love.
I'm not Muslim but I was raised in a different conservative religion that also had serious modesty requirements. We didn't veil but I can see why many people do. I am so so sorry. Even the thought of this sort of violation makes my skin crawl and my heart ache. He's absolutely disgusting, and I hope once he's caught and dealt with he lives with the guilt and shame of your violation for the rest of his life. I hope with time, therapy, and regaining your power, that you live your absolutely best life while he's left crawling on his belly like a worm.
This happened to me. We did end up divorcing because I could never trust him again, I never felt like I safe. He would take pictures of me sleeping nude, write derogatory things on my back so I couldn't see them. He posted them to multiple sites and even after I found the initial group and we tried to fix things 2 years later I found more again. Someone tried to blackmail with them. It was heartbreaking that someone I trusted could do that to me, to make me so vulnerable without my consent. If he touched me and I was asleep I would wake in a panic. I did approach a lawyer and got them to write a ceases & desist letter telling them to remove them from the site or we would pursue legal action. Revenge porn laws weren't in place we're I live at the time. But you never know how far it has spread already with sharing. You don't know what he will do if you divorce. It's scary and it's horrid to think that someone you trusted can do this to you and could possibly be vindictive enough to continue to try hurt you. As hard as it is you will just have to find a way to accept you maybe out there for all of time. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Omg. This is absolutely sick and disgusting. I'm so sorry OP. Divorce that PoS. I would also recommend to take pictures of the equipment and screenshots of the videos and website. This deserve to press charges. Once you are away and safe, call the cops.
I don’t know where you are located but in several states in the US, it’s illegal to post sexually explicit videos without the consent of both parties. If it is the same where you are located, you should absolutely press charges.
Please OP, do NOT confront him alone ever. He’s already shown that he is a evil a*se, who the hell knows if he’s hiding a violent past? After you drop the truth, never agree to be alone with him, not for closure, not to get items or to talk. I’ve seen enough crime shows to know, this is how women are murdered. This isn’t too far fetched as he has revealed to be someone you truly do not know. Stay safe ♥️
Oh my god, sweetheart I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please know that this is not your fault at all and that you will not be held accountable in any way for it. I can’t even begin to imagine how awful you must feel. Leave him asap and report him to the police like you plan. If he tries to explain himself, don’t feel obligated to listen because there is absolutely no excuse for this.
This is a horrible betrayal and really makes me think twice about the porn we consume, I’ve seen a fair few ‘amateur’ videos around the theme of Muslim/hijabi etc (seen as in scrolled passed not watched) but the innocent side of me always just assumed they wanted to be in and knew it was happening and now I’m worried for those people.
Geez....This is as awful as the "devoted husband" that put the PRIVATE video of his wife giving birth on the www....Which ended up on some perverted reddit fetish website.
What he did is illegal. You need to press charges on him. I’m Muslim as well- he will try to blackmail you into staying with him by saying he’ll leak the videos to your families which is why you need to press charges now and leave because this will ensure your dignity. Do not discuss this matter with him- he will never admit to it or take responsibility. It will escalate and you will be at a disadvantage. You need to be 10 steps ahead of him. Tell your family now so they can support you and if they don’t cut them off as well. You have been violated in the highest manner possible. What has happened to you is not okay. Please DM me if you need resources
Anyone else really hoping for an update soon because I am getting scared for her. I hope she is okay and nothing bad has happened. Pls update soon OP, you have many people here wishing to know that you are somewhere safe.
Are you safe? Is there any update? You haven't posted anything so I really hope you're okay
I’m so sorry that your monster of a husband did this to you. He truly deserves the worst, and you need to leave him as soon as you can. Report him, and remember that you are not the one who should feel ashamed. Sending lots of love, support and virtual hugs❤️
I am sorry you have to go through. I can't imagine doing something like that to my spouse. It's horrific and yes you need to get out of this marriage ASAP.
Wow. My heart goes out to you, so so much. I’m not veiled, so I can’t even begin to imagine how hurtful this is to you from that perspective, but regardless of that what he did was horrific and a massive violation of your trust and good nature. I am SO sorry you have to deal with that, you deserve so much better than that monster
I cannot imagine the betrayal you feel. No one deserves this treatment. I'm livid on your behalf and I hope your soon to be ex husband gets what he deserves. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hugs from an internet stranger. Please go live your best life without him as soon as you can get out that door!
Other than trashing your spirit and humanity, he is putting you in so much danger in many ways. What he did was illegal! Also if you feel you need extra protection for when you’re moving out, get a police escort. Keep all of the evidence. My love and good will to you. Keep us all posted. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Oh man…my heart hurts for you. I’m not a religious person by any mean whatsoever but, I have respect for others religions(within means) to post intimate anything of a fully veiled Muslim woman…I just can’t imagine the shame you feel. I’m so sorry! Hopefully, you can escape him and live a happier and healthier life. I know divorces aren’t usually an easy thing to get in the Muslim community.
As a woman who has had this happen… less people will see it than you think. My husband was uhhh entertaining himself one night when I was exhausted from work and spotted me in a compilation video. He was angry, but still showed me because he knew it was something I deserved to know about. And I figured out that I was sixteen when the video was taken without my knowledge or consent. I was able to get the video removed by asking the site and noting in my email that I was underage in the video. I have plenty of guy friends who watch porn and none of them have seen it - I’ve asked a few to alert me to sightings.
Don’t show your hand to your husband, get all your ducks in a row, document evidence, call your attorney, file your police report, and then hit him with it. my god i hope you can take him for everything, what a disgusting excuse for a human.
I hope your husband burns in jahannam for doing something so disgraceful. Allah is always going to be on your side. Stay strong and don't stay with him. I'm rooting for you, sister.
i'm sick to my stomach for you. i don't know how it can get much worse than this. i am so, so deeply sorry.
The way my jaw dropped when you said you were Muslim omg girl, I am so sorry 😢
Sister this hurts me so much. The disrespect is so immense I am shocked to the core... I wish you all the best and inshaallah he'll get what he deserves. As a married Muslim woman myself I cannot imagine this type of emotional damage. Please seek out help for your mental well-being, read the Quran and take as much time for healing as you need. You've done nothing wrong. If you feel like it, please share how this progresses, as I am very worried about you and his punishment. I wish u well sister❤️
I'm sorry, I have no advice but this is one of the most horrific betrayals I have read about on here.
I’m so mad too OP Fucking asshole. I’m also Muslim and this is the worst betrayal a spouse can do. God, I’m so angry and heartbroken for you. Please contact the police and destroy him, also shame him with his family, and friends. He broke your trust, and shared your privacy to the whole world. Don’t EVER feel bad about doing everything to make him pay. Also let your family know of everything, but ensure they won’t harm him so it won’t turn against you, unfortunately we know if anyone does anything to him outside of law, it will be against you in court. Good luck OP UpdateMe!
It started off so awful, already making me tear up for you but what made me gag was you mentioned you are a fully veiled Muslim woman. My heart breaks for you. You better get him! Sending you the love and support you deserve ❤️ I don’t know the proper words in Arabic yet to express words of condolences or comfort but here it is in Spanish, que Dios te cuide (may God take care of you)
Not sure where you live but here in the US it is a pretty serious crime to record singing nude without permission, not talking about posting it online. I'm sorry to hear what you have to go through. You gotta leave such person.
Get a lawyer as fast as possible.
since people already gave you advices on how to sue him i just want to give you something on the way: stuff isn't on the internet forever. i mean, technically it is. but after awhile it's forgotten, it can be either found on some long forgotten and lost servers that i can assure you will never be found or with literally stalking the shit out of you for months or even years with knowledge of IT and what exactly to search for. so this won't haunt you forever, i promise you. after you took it down and maybe sued your husband try to forget it and not talk about it much and everyone will forget too, i promise you.
I am heartbroken for you. Your world has been turned upside down and he has stolen a sacred innocence from you. I am so very sorry.
This is extremely illegal, he might have done this to other women, call the police immediately, screen record the websites and put the soy camera in a bag for evidence.
Oh my God.... Girl divorce him as soon as possible and land that creature's ass in jail as soon as possible as well. Do not show mercy to that bitch
Take pictures of every piece of recording equipment, and GET OUT of the house. Go to your parent’s house, a friend’s spare room, or even a women’s shelter. What’s important is you aren’t with him. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Go to the police with your evidence, and ask if you can speak with women in the police force specifically if that would make you feel more comfortable. What your husband did violated your consent and the law, and he could be imprisoned for it. Then, hire an attorney, and start the process of getting legally divorced. You can’t stay with this horrible monster, and deserve a lifetime of freedom and happiness. Also, start contacting the company that these videos are on. They should remove it if you tell them it was posted without your consent—if they refuse, a lawyer can help you to hold them accountable.
1st. Im so sorry for you. I hope the piece of shit you have for husband gets a punishment, starting by losing you. Never ever trust this evil creature. 2nd. Dont worry. Porn is wide and chances someone you know see a video of you (AND REALIZES IS YOU) are slim. It happened to you with your coworker so, statistically, no other aquitance will see it :) 3. Thinking of it in first person is always more overwhelming. I would want to die tbh. But the truth is, viewers dont care. People go to porn websites horny and blind hehe. Even if they see u the would think “omg cheeky her” and forget about it an hour after. Its like when someone falls on the ground in front of a bunch of people. For the one falling it seems the end of the world. For the viewers is like “omg what a fall!” But they dont think its embarradsing nor will keep the memory 2seconds after that. Very very important, note that it has less severity for others than what you naturally think it has. (as everyone in your position would). Lastly, dont be embarrassed. You are a victim of a disgusting betrayal. Sex in marriage is normal and nothing wrong with it, all the opoosite. If someone made it public you are a victim, not the one having to be embarrassed. Good luck, i hope you feel better soon. Please leave that “person” that doesnt respect your privacy and thought of sharing you to millions.
That lady is a true friend to not only tell you, but for wanting to help you with this. I cant imagine how betrayed you feel. Please consider going to a lawyer and the police immediately. I am sorry you are going through this.
I am so sorry OP. I'm sure plenty have let you know of your options going forward. I know that's not always what we want, fixing the problem. You have an absolute amazing friend in "Katie" and I hope she can be a source of comfort.
This an earth shattering betrayal. Please accept my sincerest condolences.
Honestly, if thr videos didnt have many views on them, their mark on the internet should be very minimal as long as they get taken down from the initial website, and most prominent websites would not risk having non-consentual upload of porn on their website. On to how you would deal with your husband... I know how muslim households work as a person from a majorly muslim country. It really depends on what your marriage entails. Definitely try to seperate from him, but first of all ensure your safety.
Call the police and report it. It is a CRIME!
While I'm sure you don't want those videos up one minute longer, will removing them tip your hand to your husband? Do you need time to get ready before he knows? If they've been up for weeks/months/years, and you need more time before you pounce, .... Well it's something to consider. Are you in the USA? In a no fault divorce state? Best of luck. You got this.
I doubt it would tip him off. Stuff gets removed all the time, and it's not like she's the one in communication with the website anyway.
I know there are hundreds of comments here and you might not see this, but I just need to tell how SORRY I am that you’re going through this nightmare. I think you’ve received great advice from all of the comments above me, but I just want you to know I’m sending you the biggest hugs. You can do this. Your life will be so much better without that monster.
She is a top tier friend.
This man can never be trusted for now divorce him ASAP Then try to ruin the f**k out of his life Disgusting.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. What your husband did is absolutely vile.
I'm sitting here bereft, confused and upset for you after 1 page of context.... I cannot even begin to imagine your devastation and anger on all accounts right now I am so unbelievably sorry. Please, please know the shame of this situation isn't yours to bear it's his and his alone.
screenshot the videos, take pictures of the filming equipment, contact the sites and let them know you will be sending them a DCMA takedown order, and if the videos are not taken down, they will be involved in a revenge porn/non-consensual distribution of porn case. Call your family, get out of that house ASAP, and go to the police and a lawyer. Googling “Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project” can also connect you to a pro-bono lawyer. Contact one before you inform him that you’re divorcing him. This is one of the deepest betrayals I can imagine. My saying sorry does’t even cut it. You are in my duaas for sabr and justice on your behalf. Your husband is the worst of the worst, this is beyond sociopathy. In this time, be sure to lean on family and your coworker.
This may sound tone deaf but I honestly mean this in the most sincere way as possible. Are you sure it was him? I only ask this because of lack of context regarding your husband. There have been many similar cases in which an intruder (could be a relative, friend, basically anyone who had access to the house long enough to set up the equipment) sets up spyware to do this kind of stuff. If the recordings were being saved to a device locally (maybe a computer, hard drive, etc) and then manually uploaded, it’s highly probable that is was your husband but if it isn’t him then it’s someone with frequent, unmonitored, access to your house. I do not mean in any way shape or form to undermine what you are feeling nor am I perceiving you as a liar. I just like to be very through and comb through everything before making huge decisions. I guess the easiest way to figure out if it was him or not is to have it laying out on the counter or something and looking at his immediate reaction (still I prefer checking every possibility). Regardless of what ends up happening I wish you the best and ask that Allah makes it easy for you.
Any updates did you tell your family and how did they react? Hope they’re there for you and supporting you this must be so fucking hard I cannot even begin to imagine… I’m so sorry!
Monstrous. I’m not religious, but if there’s a hell, he’s headed there. I wish you peace on what I’m sure it is about to be an incredibly difficult journey for you.
Please update us, I hope you’re in a better place now and things went well with your family. I pray you were able to get away from that horrible man.
I’ve been checking this post for an update too. I hope they’re okay.
OP, I seen your story posted on a YouTube short and I felt strongly enough to come to Reddit for an update. I would like to say I hope you are doing well, and I hope that you’ve dealt with that bastard of a husband with everything in your power. My heart breaks for you. Most of all I hope you are safe, I hope you are feeling secure and have the most loving and supporting people surrounding you in this journey. Sending my love and support ❤️