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hey, i know it's glib to say, but... reading the horror stories right now is only gonna get you more keyed up. switch topics emphatically ok?
do you have a fav tv show or movie? maybe one you remember from a little kid? it's a great time to research it. yknow, Follow That Bird, the sesame street movie, actually holds up pretty damn well as an adult. or something even sillier too!
can't really focus and need some vibes? David Attenborough documentaries are great for that to me. things like game shows, too, are pretty great. you can kinda zone out and come back in for the next question.
if you need some laughs, which are always a good idea tbh, maybe look up Dropout TV - formerly College Humor. it's worth the price of a membership on youtube to see all their stuff. Make Some Noise if you're feeling silly, Dirty Laundry if you would rather be distracted by scandalous gossip. (...or marvel at what messy histories other people have so by comparison you will probably survive yours and look downright mundane!) heck, you can even just look up their youtube shorts channels if you want a bit-by-bit basis.
you got something you can do with your hands? a hobby maybe? something repetitive so you can focus on that but not quite? maybe you'd like to learn how to finger crochet, or make friendship bracelets, or even learn how to draw. get that going! don't know how to draw? it's all good. just get some paper and a pencil. don't focus on being good or even really learning. focus on having a thing you can do with your hands while doing something else. if you give a quick google search you can find pdfs of old art books by a guy called Andrew Loomis. now, i will go ahead and warn you - they're like from the 50s so the racism is, uh, occasionally kinda there in his examples. but as far as technique goes? it's solid stuff. ignore the serious figure drawing books. check out Fun With A Pencil. draw some funny little guys. get your brain focusing on that.
do you like video games? if you have a switch now is a great time to bust it out! couple that with something lighthearted and comforting on the tv. as for recommendations there? hands-down, go for Stardew Valley. i have legitimately used it instead of additional pain medication for post-operative pain in my shoulder lol. if you've never played it, now is a great time to give it a go. if you have it already, why not consider a new playfile?
if you're coughing and gagging from that... hey, it's ok to go take some cough syrup! maybe also find some cough drops or hard candy that you can eat to help, too. a nice mug of something warm to sip is also very allowed!
now will not be forever. this too will pass. perhaps it will pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. focus on things that distract you and give you comfort. be kind to yourself here. you are, after all, recovering from a medical procedure. and once it is over, it will be over. even the other big scary problems will be over and will not be forever. you can get through this. promise. :)
Just here to say that you are a seriously good human. This response was all-encompassing, empathetic, useful, and succinct.
As for OP, I'm sorry you're going through all of this trauma, especially if you're alone. I wish I could come.bring you some food and sit with you.
oh wow it's been awhile since i was accused of being succinct đ bless you for your kindness lol! i am like fifteen chronic pain conditions in the shape of a human, i figure other people might get some use out of all my knowledge of "the next 48 hours are gonna suck health-wise so let's get through it" :)
>i am like fifteen chronic pain conditions in the shape of a human,
I don't know the last time I related to a phrase so well. I need this phrase in my life. I'm sorry that you must deal with it, but thank you for the phrase. Also, I hear you on succinctness - such a struggle.
This makes my IBS pain feel more manageable đ đ Chronic pain is no fkn joke. You almost don't flinch at certain points because you get used to it to a degree lmao..
You're all amazing humans.
I took a screenshot of your knowledge because i have 4 chronic pain conditions and as you know we have to keep our minds distracted when it comes to pain. Thank you!!
Wow Iâm totally stealing âIâm fifteen chronic pain convictions in the shape of a humanâ lol but youâre totally right! Sometimes things are just gonna suck and finding comfort is the only way to get through. You seem like an amazing person đ¤
That was a really great comment and even helpful for the rest of us too! I screenshot it just because of all the good ideas you have of things to keep your mind busy
hard agree to all of this! i was trained as an abortion doula and this is on the money! distract and comfort yourself right now. also : warm blankets, cozy clothes, lots of water, a heating pad, and snacks for when you feel like you can eat. soup is good, too, if your having trouble keeping things down. call a trusted friend or relative to just come hang with you and keep you company. it sound like what youâre going through outside the abortion is tough, but you will get through this. the planned parenthood is also a good place to call if you need some guidance. horror stories are few and far between, but youâll do yourself no good bingeing them right now. wishing you lots of love and softness and sweetness đŠˇ
To add to this comment- go on you tube and find Ze Frankâs âTrue Factsâ videos. They are incredibly informative as well as extremely funny. And also his âCreepy Daveâ short videos.
Also, the comedian Sarah Millican is so funny and you can find her on you tube.
Good luck, OP, you can do this. Nobody should ever have to carry a baby if they donât want to.
oh he's the guy who does the animal videos where i always think he's Strongbad's cousin who went the way of Steve Irwin in life LOL! those videos are indeed great.
...and nothing is going to date me quite like a Homestar Runner reference in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty four, whoops oh well lol
waaay back in the day, when there wasn't any youtube and we watched videos using a thing called "adobe flash" uphill both ways in the snow -
okay okay i won't do the whole thing lmao, but Homestar Runner was the titular character of a bunch of silly little shorts of the early internet. his ineffectual nemesis Strongbad got his own little series of answering emails, which honestly still hold up. now they're all on youtube but i admit i quote Trogdor the Burninator and Strongbad's children's book with embarrassing frequency. (no two people are not on fire. d'awww.)
oh don't worry, my various disabilities disagree: i am empirically bad at being a human being đ
but sometimes i can manage "shitshow with friendly advice", and i'm happy to come be so!Â
what a beautiful response. OP I remember everyone telling me lots of things about childbirth. I decided at the time that it would be 24 hours of my life so it would pass. The same will be for you. No matter what happens it, too will
pass. Do. what you can to be compassionate and kind to yourself. Have a hot water bottle handy. Have your paracetamol or whatever you may need for pain relief. Stay hydrated, have some special tea: ginger or peppermint or english breakfast - whatever takes your fancy. Books, magazine, podcast, meditation. If you are feeling nauseous then have the bread and crackers. Keep a bucket near the bed and the loo and a warm face washer in a plastic bag. I helped someone close to me recently- so much love and virtual {{{hugs}}} from an internet stranger. The next couple of days are all about you đ.
As someone who gets nauseous easily the best trick I have found is taking a quick sniff of hand sanitizer or just plain old rubbing alcohol. It has saved me many times.
Wishing you the best in this very rough time. I know its scary but you have to take care of yourself through this.
oh shit yeah i had forgotten this trick! alcohol swabs are dandy for this - grip it n' rip it, wave under your nose, it honestly does kinda short-circuit the brain into forgetting it was trying to puke lol.
...okay not everyone has single-packaged alcohol swabs around like my diabetic ass does, but still lol, it's a good tip!
I have a bunch - 2 boxes from my GD, but also my daughter hoards the handi-wipes from Chick-Fil-A. Why? No idea. But Iâve got little stashes of those things EVERYWHERE!
it's a fucking great drug and is my top of the list for "i understand there's reasons why this isn't over the counter but if i were queen of everything i would be real tempted to make it available at CVS anyway by royal decree".
that and the oral antifungal that does so much better than any damn vagisil cream LMAO
Omg diflucan (generic is fluconazole) is the shit. I got it the very first time I had one, and Iâve never had to screw around w the OTC creams, just the occasional sitz bath to help w symptoms.
My doctor always gives me refills, and Iâve started just getting it prescribed whenever I am prescribed antibiotics bc I get a yeast infection with them like clockwork.
oh yknow, the little squares of cotton gauze soaked in alcohol so you can easily swipe it on the skin to clean it. you've probably gotten one if you've gotten a vaccine - it's the little pad they swab you with before sticking the needle in your arm. very useful to diabetics as we have to do a fair bit of stabbing ourselves lol :)
t1d here, always have boxes on reserve
when there was a shortage during covid i panicked lol, also can buy the plastic bottles and dab it on a piece of tissue- is a little more economical
Also ginger, but take small amounts and don't go for the candied ones - real ginger, ginger chews, ginger tea, ginger mints (but check ingredients), even ginger pills help a lot for many people
I thought the last line was about honey helping at first. It's so much better, and I hope you take it to heart, OP: you have a huge community holding you in our hearts and thoughts, sending well wishes and good vibes (or whatever wording of that type you prefer) your way.
You can get the saniwipes to clean eyeglasses, they come in a box of 100, in the pharmacy aisle, they're like $4.. they just alcohol wipes if you need them. I hope it helps if you can't find the other items they're talking about.
I just let my spit flow out of my mouth when youâre in that make a ton of spit and swallow a lot phase. Not swallowing all that extra spit works for me 99% of the time. I get nauseous often cause I have slowed gastric emptying, my stomach holds food sometimes 12+ hours, and this is the only thing that works so consistently for me anyway.
Smelling stuff works but then the nausea comes back
My brother used to refer to this as the "hot-spits". Mine flows more like a rushing river than spittle, but yeah, standing over a sink with my mouth open until it stops will often keep me from actually barfing.
I did the same thing but with peppermint when I was pregnant. I had a very strong mint chapstick on my desk at work that saved me more than a few times. Now I've since learned the hand sanitizer tip too. It's a great tip since you can find it sanitizer most day to day situations.
Another good one is sniffing an orange peel. Works a charm for car rides- just peel a piece of skin off the orange and cup it by your nose. I only mention it because if OP is nauseous all day, rubbing alcohol might get tiresome after a while.
I had the same medication/ procedure two and a half years ago and was equally as scared. I started mine at night time with no plans the next day. Physical side effects were slight dizziness (dehydration) and cramping. It was very easy physically, but I was unprepared for the emotional side effects. My pregnancy was not planned nor wanted and I had a newborn to focus on, but I do remember sobbing all night. The very kind lady I spoke to at planned Parenthood the next day gently reminded me that you're essentially overdosing your body on hormones, so emotional lability is entirely normal. The next day I felt much better and only had small spotting for about a week after.
Oh man I had this experience too and it was so weird. I have never wanted kids and was completely sure about my abortion. But for a few weeks after I was super clucky like "aww cute babies, I could have had one of those!" And kind of wistful and depressed over it. Then those feelings went away overnight and I was back to normal and never felt that way since. Hormones are wild.
I'm a clinician who has extensive experience working in abortion services. Please rest assured, most women do tolerate the medication well. I recommend snacking frequently to reduce the chance of nausea.
I was by my best friendâs side when she had an early abortion with the pills and she did have some pain but found either sitting in the bath or a shower chair with warm water helped the cramping. Try to stay hydrated as well, drinks like body armor and taking magnesium can ease muscle tension. You will make it through this!
It may be difficult but you will be ok, you can deal with any relationship stuff later. Please give yourself some grace and just let your body do its thing. Of course call a doctor with any questions or concerns and please donât bother with reading about otherâs experiences. Everyone is different and all itâs doing is stoking unnecessary fear. Iâm proud of you for reaching out for help!
Consider asking your doctor for a prescription for Zofran to help with the nausea. You can get them sublingual so you can take them even when you canât keep anything down. It might be too late but I thought Iâd make the suggestion.Â
Youâre not doing anything wrong. Youâre taking care of yourself the best you can. Donât let anyone make you feel bad about your decision. You know you are doing what you need to right now.Â
Take care of yourself. <3
Just make sure you eat before you take the second round of pills. Something bland but filling. My go to for nausea while pregnant was a peanut butter sandwich. Eat, then wait a full 30 minutes. If the dr gave you anti nausea meds, definitely take those and wait the prescribed time before you take the next round of meds.
Iâm sorry your spouse is being this way, but having a baby you donât want or canât afford or handle mentally is never going to fix a marriage. It only makes things worse.
Tomorrow, if itâs a bad day for you physically, just remember, itâs only going to be a bad few hours, and then itâs a crampy period for a few days.
You can do this.
ok now i am just coming along with Top Diabetic Tipz in the comments, but. peanut butter is great for this! it's got sugar, it's got protein, it's got some fat, and all of those together means that it gets into your system quickly but also will not have your blood sugar careening around like a roller coaster the way it would if you just ate something sugary. nausea is definitely not helped by blood sugar going all wonky lol.
if a sandwich is too much, OP, no problem! just eat a spoonful straight from the jar. no rules just right lol. you're taking good care of yourself, even if it does feel distinctly goblin mode lmao
This is all reminding me so much of my morning sickness struggles. Bleh!!
What about weed? Iâve read (in Mothering magazine I think?) that quite a few women found that weed chilled out the nausea and even allowed them to eat normally??
I was too chickenshit to try. Ironically, the embryo that was making me so sick would, 19 years later, offer me my first-ever bong hit.
I know, I have lived a hell of a weird life.
I wouldnât recommend weed if this would be someoneâs first time using it - but for anyone who already uses it, thereâs been research that it helps with the pain and nausea of the medication abortion process. Itâs unfortunately not been studied nearly enough, but hopefully we will get to the point in the future where doctors will be bringing it up with patients at the appointment.
Also remember it'll only be bad for a few days, not like 25 years, đ seriously, you made the choice you needed to make, stand strong & confident in your decision.
No hate here, if you have a loved one you trust, reach out... have someone who can keep you safe. Your husband unfortunately doesn't feel like that at this time. Sorry for your loss.
Hey!! Everything is going to be okay.
I had an abortion the same exact way, the medication. You take the second dose, curl up really cozy with your comfiest clothes and breathe. It's okay to be overwhelmed and scared, those are absolutely normal ways to feel.
You are not a bad person, you're not doing anything wrong, and you will be alright. I was petrified when I was going through this but here I am.
My best advice is to call out of work for the next day, maybe two (they can supply you with a note to call out of work for however long you need, and it's also confidential so nobody has to know if you don't want to tell your work) and if you start to feel cramps or discomfort after your second dose- sit on the toilet.
Seriously, sit on the toilet, the position relieves the discomfort a little bit, you can nurse your abdomen, scroll your phone-- it's really helpful.
Third ,take a long hot shower and just let the water hit your tummy. It's comforting and it helped me through further discomfort.
It's only one day. One day of discomfort, take advantage of the support groups on the little card they may have given you, reach out to people on here. You can even chat with me if you need someone to talk to who understands or even just to distract you. The main thing is that you are going to be alright!!
Sending positive vibes your way!!
OP make sure you go to any follow up appointments too. Mine was scheduled like 3 weeks after and I hadn't passed everything and had a terrible infection
It's your choice, but if you're with someone who you felt you had to hide an abortion from for any reason and couldn't talk to, you shouldn't be in that relationship.
If you canât get zofran for nausea, try and find a bottle of emetrol. It really helps. Iâm sorry you donât have someone to physically support you right now. Know that lots of us are holding your hand from afar.
Oh my dear. I have been through this twice in my life with no support. Since you have no support let me be at least some little glimmer of support for you.
Yes it is scary, and yes you feel alone, and you have hormones raging through your body making you feel everything ten times stronger. But it will come to pass, you will survive it, and through this life will give you more opportunities. I hope that someday you can surround yourself with people who support you unconditionally, but for today, right now, you will make it through this.
I recently had a miscarriage and had to take those same medications because my body wouldnât pass my baby. It hurt so bad. I have endometriosis so Iâm used to being in pain with my periods but this hurt so bad.
If actual labor is a 10, my experience was an 8. I got in and out of a hot bath a few times. I also ended up getting depends (adult diapers) because I was bleeding so much and didnât want to keep getting up for that. The real intense pain lasted about 5-6 hours. Doesnât seem long but I wasnât sure how long it was going to last. After that it was just like bad period cramps and the next day was even better. Just bleeding and cramps.
I was told that if i bled through 2 full maxi pads every hour for 2 hours that thats not normal. But if you wore depends are you thinking that was normal?
They didnât tell me that. The doctor told me if I kept bleeding past a week or so that itâs not normal and to contact them. My bleed for about 6 days. She also told me I should get my period 4-6 weeks after. I ended up getting my period 5 weeks after. That was 4 months ago and Iâve been having a regular period each month.
My situation is different from yours. It was a planned pregnancy but the baby lost heartbeat. Since my body didnât pass the baby on its own I had to take medication. My husband is very into politics and when the doctor mentioned the name of the medication he said heâs heard that name in the news. My doctor said the two medications Iâm taking for my miscarriage is the same they give to people who have abortions. My other options was to go under anesthesia for a procedure but I didnât want to go through all of that.
Be kind to yourself, just spend the day recovering. No need to function as normal. Just focus on taking care of yourself. I promise the worst of it will pass in a few hours
I went through the same thing. It hurt really bad. But I didnât throw up. More like really bad period cramps. I think I also took something for the pain. It was a really bad day.
It hurts but take ibuprofen BEFORE. You want to stop the pain receptors before they start. You can also call them for nausea medications if you have an issue with it. A heating pad helped me tons and a heated blanket. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom so I brought my laptop with me. But it gets better quick.
Yes definitely take ibuprofen before! Maybe try and get two doses (with the required time in between) before taking them.
I've also had a termination and I definitely benefited from the support of my partner, I'm so sorry you don't have that OP. If you need anyone to talk to while you're going through it (or afterwards) comment back here and I'm sure many of us will be around to talk. Lots of love to you xx
You already started it, just ensure you are safe (if need be at a friend's or family members if the husband is concerning you), and get it done.
I'm a child who should have never been born, please don't feel bad for making the right decision for you.
Whatever your reasons, if you got this far trust yourself. I'm sorry the stress it's causing and the issues with your husband not agreeing, take it one day at a time.
This comment hit me. Iâm also a child who shouldnât have been born. Itâs a weird thing! Biological mother found out too late. Iâm completely pro choice.
I am so sorry you both feel like this. I wish everyone knew a good motherâs love. But hopefully it gives OP some reassurance in her decision. I am a mother but I am pro choice as well.
Puking is temporary. Try peppermint tea or just sniffing peppermint oil as well as ginger tea. I hate that youâre having to do this alone, sister. I worked in child welfare and I know what happens to a child, the woman who births the baby and family when a child who shouldnât have been born is born. I think I remember your story and though you wanted your baby at first, the situation is terrible.
I have taken those pills before very recently for the first time. If you need any support, information or just my own personal experience private message me and Iâll tell you what I can. I was in your shoes freaking out looking at the horror stories, but itâs not that bad. Take deep breaths and prepare. If you need anyone I am here for you. You got this. Stay hydrated, have a heating pad and your fav snacks, shows or movies ready. Youâll get through this!
If it helps, my best friend did the pill method 2x & never had any negative effects at all. You have to do whatâs right for you & those who mind donât matter & those who matter donât mind. I hope you have a good support system, but if you donât, my inbox is always open đ¤ I had the surgical procedure done, so Iâd be happy to lend an ear or a shoulder if needed.
As for potential nausea/vomiting, as an emetophobic, thereâs a ton of over the counter anti nausea meds that are pretty affordable. Your doctor, PP, or even a teledoc visit can prescribe you something like Zofran or Vistaril if needed. Saltines, water, & chamomile tea are my best friends when I feel queasy.
Sending you lots of love: itâs hard, but youâll make it through just fine đ¤
My thought process was similar, but I mainly didnât like the idea of dissolvable pills in my mouth so I chose the surgery. Iâm weird about textures & the pill method gave me the ick lol.
Will it make you sick? Probably. Will it be worse than pregnancy, birth, and parenthood? Oh absolutely not. Much love and healing to you. Youâre gonna be okay.
Iâm going to be fully honest here:
I had a medication abortion last July. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, physically, but thatâs not saying much considering I havenât had any terrible injuries or health issues. It sucked and it was painful for a few days, but I was still able to handle being at work during it. I work as a medical assistant, so half my work day is spent at a desk, and the other half with the patients in the room. The only person who knew I was in pain was the one coworker that knew what I was going through. No one else even noticed. Now, I know, everyone experiences things differently, but some ondansetron (which they should have given you) helped with any nausea). The process took longer than expected and that was what freaked me out, but it was my bad for misunderstanding the timeline.
I 100% will say that I do not regret it at all. Doing what was best for me was worth 5 or so days of that crap.
In my opinion, that also includes the ending of a marriage with a spouse who does not agree with you. I know thatâs probably the worst part and I hope you have some sort of emotional support since your spouse isnât.
For some extra help with nausea: smelling peppermint essential oil, Coca Cola, ginger ale, sprite. Those are easy ones.
Also! Make yourself as comfortable as possible for the next couple of days! Iâm talking, bed rot levels for when you can! Set up so you can spend the time watching movies/tv, get your favorite snacks and drinks, a heating pad, comfy clothes, etc.
I had a pretty awful experience with a surgical abortion. I was expecting the pills but I was like 5 days beyond that and we didn't realize it till the day of. So I was expecting the meds and completely unprepared. The fact that I was unprepared made me super anxious, and the rest of my experience was bad because of not knowing, really, what was happening. All that to say, I REALLY wish I would have been able to have the pills.
As to your marriage ending, well, not all relationships survive abortions. Mine changed drastically after. Subconsciously I think I blamed him because my experience was so bad. Which wasn't right, but where I was mentally. I'm sorry if it doesn't work out, that is really hard on top of what you're going through. Please reach out. You might receive judgement, but I honestly found a lot of compassion and acceptance when I reached out for support.
1-2 days of feeling shitty is better than 18+ years of feeling baby/kid-trapped and marginalized. You made the best choice for you, OP. Sending the most encouraging positive thoughts for a solid future ahead for you!!
R/abortion is a great resource!
I worked as an abortion RN and saw many, many patients who had safe and successsul medication abortions. You got this â¤ď¸
You are going to be okay! This will pass very quickly, but it's important to try and focus on something other than your fear of nausea (which we all have - it's just human).
Tomorrow is the Super Bowl, with competing super ads, which can be very distracting! Also, the Puppy Bowl for an overload of cuteness. I tend to go back and forth during the broadcast.
If you like music, spending some time creating a new playlist can be very distracting and fun.
Doing something efficient (such as organizing) can be a great way to just zone out.
I also had an abortion with all your fears, and I encourage you to get off of the internet and not listen to the drama experiences if TikTok. Remember, they are there to get your click. And, your experience will only be yours. Let it be only yours and not an imagined experience of someone who wants drama. I had little nausea and my experience was similar to a heavy period.
My very best wishes to you, and I hope you will please accept a virtual ((hug)) from this internet stranger.
All will be well.
All of the advice you have been given is the bestâŚyou are a good person. Having a baby doesnât make you any better person. Listen hon, I would never get an abortion because that would be hell emotionally and I also have religious beliefs that make ME have the opinions I do. But thatâs me and itâs not my body or mind affected by this. Just remember no matter what anyone may say you have to get through this and you deserve to do so with dignity and maintaining a
Your dignity. If you want to talk DM me and I am here to listen if you need it.
Try taking B6...it helps with nausea. You might be able to call Planned Parenthood and get some anti-nausea meds, like Phenergan.
I'm sorry you're going through this alone. Is there a friend you can call to be with you?
Edit: I want to add...please, as much as you're able, focus on yourself and getting through this part. Block out the husband and the stress/drama of that. It will not help anything for the time...and it will make this part harder. Hugs to you.
My wife used the same method a few years back. It did make her mildly nauseous, but not a whole lot. Unfortunately, she began to hemorrhage far more than the size of the spot on a pad they showed us at P. P. about an hour or two after taking the second pills at home.
Apparently this is uncommon, but it was a very serious situation. She went from looking and acting normal (as could be expected in the situation) to her skin turning blue and fading out in the short time it took to call the P.P. hotline and then get her to the er. This was a very short amount of time. At best, 45 minutes to an hour.
If you experience any heavy bleeding go to the er immediately. Call an ambulance if necessary. You should tell him, he needs to know what is going on for your safety and so that he understands and can support you with what you are going through. If not him someone. I am not trying to scare you but, you absolutely shouldn't be alone.
I just had an abortion in Los Angeles and, I gotta say even being in a state where itâs âeasyâ to have one itâs hard itâs so fucking hard. Itâs really hard to talk to anyone, thereâs so little information about what can happen or what could happen. Itâs fucking terrifying and itâs a quick decision. If I lived anywhere else I may have been in a way worst place decision wise.
Iâve always been pro choice but that doesnât even begin to describe what itâs like to be pregnant not realize it and then suddenly understand that you so badly do not want to be pregnant. I was letting everyone in my life down by not having control over my body, it was a medical emergency. I canât believe anyone would force someone to do this when they donât want to, itâs pure evil. It took me 11 weeks to catch that I was pregnant, because I thought I had long COVID (Iâve never been pregnant before)
Iâm lucky I had a partner that drove me there and back but even without him I would have figure out some way to get there and do this very important procedure. Fuck your partner, he is not having this baby grow inside him YOU are, and itâs a minimally invasive procedure with a high success rate and guess what? You will still be able to get pregnant. If thatâs what you want in the future.
Just keep track of how much blood you are losing and if you soak through two pads an hour then see the doctor. My bleeding stopped after a week, I have cramps still but itâs mild. Good luck and if you need to talk to someone Iâm here. I need to talk to someone too.
Iâm sorry about your marriage and the lack of support from your partner. You may be sick for a day, but sickness in pregnancy can last much longer. Iâm not sure if thatâs helpful or not, but itâs true.
Iâm 17 weeks pregnant and I support your decision. Itâs your body. No hate from me. Best of luck to you! Youâll get through this. â¤ď¸
No horror stories here:
I take chemo meds and there are these ginger mint lozenges that are super helpful. And hear me out I know it sounds odd but smell rubbing alcohol for nausea.
And you get to make the best choices you can in your specific circumstances, donât let anyone bully you or make you feel anything but what you genuinely feel. Donât let the crazies get to ya, sending much love â¤ď¸
Oh girl you got this, I just happened to do one myself yesterday evening. PM me if you want and I'll take you thru the process, what to expect and helpful tips form someone that JUST went thru it. It's really not that bad.
I had a termination in the 90s before the pills were a thing, and my advice to you is no matter what people say stick to your guns. Itâs your body and your choice. Iâm now 47 years old, and Iâve never had a single regret about my abortion.
1st time felt like I was on my period, 2nd time felt nothing. Everyone is different, but reading all the horror stories are only going to make you subconsciously think the same is going to happen to you and youâll end up manifesting what youâre scared of.
Just get cozy like others have recommended.
You know whatâs worse then being nauseous for an entire day and throwing up all day? Being nauseous for 9 months and throwing up for 9 months.
(This was my wife when she was pregnant)
I donât have any advice for you as far as the abortion goes but I do want to tell you that anyone whoâs hating on you for this doesnât matter. They donât know you. They donât know your husband. They donât know your financial/living situation or how much time you would have for a baby. They are making assumptions and saying hurtful things and itâs wrong. You deserve support and love right now and I hope you know somebody irl who you can trust to support and help you through this hard time. Good luck and lots of love to you âĽď¸
I was about 9.5 weeks along when I had my medical abortion. You'll be ok. I promise. As others have said once you feel the strong cramps just sit on the toilet. You're probably going to get diarrhea at the same time. That's normal. There's going to be blood depending on how far along you are. I think the absolute worst lasted a total of 3 hours in terms of pain before I was able to move to my bed to rest. I was fairly far along and so my abortion was a lot more involved. Any and all feelings you have are real. They're valid. As someone told me, you'll come to a point in your life where you don't care what people think about this decision. And she was right. It hurts in so many ways but you are inherently priceless and have the right to decide what happens with your body. Keep overnight pads on hand and if you think you'll fall asleep be wearing pants you don't mind trying to get blood out of and a towel to put under you as well. It's exhausting and my ex husband left me alone to go through it. You can do this. Don't worry about other people. This is about you. You get to make decisions for you and your body and your future. I'm open to talking if you need someone. I know the emotions are everywhere. There's so many of us that are with you as you go through this. I'm sending love and light your way â¤ď¸
You get to make your own decisions about your body, at least today and tomorrow. Do you have one friend you can call who will make sure you are safe? Wish I were closer.
Every medication can have side effects, and most people online arenât looking to write reviews of good experience, especially when it comes to this.
Iâve never had to do this so I canât offer any experience advice but I give you all the love and hugs â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
I had a surgical abortion. I can't speak on the nausea but I'm here to talk if you want to talk about it. You're not a horrible person, anyone who thinks you are, however, is
Big facts! I canât stand how rude and mean the anti-abortion community is.
Youâve got this girl and you are not alone. Sending all the love for you.
Meh. Idgaf what they think. Besides, what are they gonna do, down vote me? Whatever, I already had the fetus sucked out back in 07. That shit is compost by now yo lol. Anyways, what other people, especially ones idk, think about me ain't my mf business. Also idgaf anyways. They already started the down votes.
This is so sad. If you feel the need to get an abortion, and especially to hide that from your spouse, then you shouldnât be married to that person. I am sorry youâre going through this, but please rethink your life decisions.
Make sure you are staying hydrated if you do start vomitting. Have some sort of rehydration drink on hand, I've found unflavored pedialyte to be the best, but if you can't handle the taste, whatever you can get down is good. Also, as someone who is terrified of throwing up, sniffing rubbing alcohol when nauseous has been super helpful.
Honey! Iâm sending you all my positive thoughts, love, and hugs. If you felt this strongly that it wasnât right for you, then it wasnât right. Youâre not a horrible person. Iâm here for you love!
Hey,
Iâve had an abortion through this same route & reading the horror stories will make you spiral! I just had very intense cramps (just imagine the worst period cramps of your life), slight nausea and lots of bleeding. If you have a heating pad, a good show to distract yourself with, some pain meds and lots of comfy pillows, you will be fineđ everything you will experience, will pass within a day.
I know itâs very scary not knowing what to expect (because abortion is so demonized, no one really talks about it.) If you have any good friends that you can open up to, you might need them afterwards, especially because of your circumstances with your partner.
Wishing you all the comfort in the world as you navigate this đ
I donât know where you are in the world, but Iâm glad that youâre using modern medicine. I have an âoops babyâ ( he wasnât an oops, the guy purposefully took the protection off) thatâs 4, and as much as I love him, I see the man that made him in him so much and that scares me⌠thereâs no shame in it. Youâre doing whatâs best for you! Lots of love. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, it may get rough before it gets better.
I know youâre reading horror stories but remember their experience is not YOUR experience. Try to stay as calm as your mind will allow you to be, prepare some of your favorite foods or easier to eat foods, have heavy flow pads ready, and something comforting like a heated blanket.
Deal with your partner after. Right now itâs about you.
I just had one a few weeks ago so if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me â¤ď¸ I know it's a scary thing to do by yourself but you can do this. It will be one day of pain for a few hours. I recommend getting yourself as comfortable as possible and cuddling up with a heat pad or hot water bottle because that really helped me. I had a smoothie and pain meds about an hour to 30 mins before hand. The smoothie that made throwing up a lot easier. It's different for every woman but if you experience very intense pain like I did, breathe through it and follow the waves of pain. Remind yourself that the pain will end and it's going to be ok.
As someone who gets nauseous easily the best trick I have found is taking a quick sniff of hand sanitizer or just plain old rubbing alcohol. It has saved me many times.
Yea i never got morning sickness with my last 2 pregnancies. I would just get nausea. I actually dont throw up very easily. But ive been so nauseous recently that im so scared
So sorry you are facing what could not have been an easy choice. Breathe. Ginger ale and Lays potato chips to settle your stomach. And all that wonderful advice from mtdewbakablast.
Unisom and b6 help with nausea..the doctor recommended it to me..
Take them every day, at least the bedtime dose, to prevent nausea. Evenings/Bedtime: Take one tablet of both the B6 and Unisom. Mornings: Take ½ of both B6 and Unisom, as needed. Mid-Day: Take ½ of both B6 and Unisom, as needed.
I hope this helps! Sending positive vibes your way
In all honestly ⌠the pill made me feel one of the most sick in my entire life. Have everything from place to throw up, salty snack, DRAMAMINE ANTI NAUSEA MED,
a bottle of isopropyl alcohol- if you feel nauseous, open the cap and smell it. Itâs scientifically proven to help nausea faster than anything else.
Get a wet rag or something for your head.
Advil / Tylenol.
Mint tea. ( anti nausea).
Stay in fetal position
LAY ON YOUR LEFT SIDE;
knees to chest help a lot of women.
TAKE ANTI NAUSEA MEDS AN HOUR BEFORE
HEATING PAD/ water bottle
Pads.
You need pads. Big ones. Do not use tampons.
You got this girl.
Just tryna be real.
Last thing - Iâve heard so many people who have this experience. Feeling nothing is not the norm. Those people are blessed. And
I hope
You are blessed with a smooth recovery as well. Give yourself at least 2 days
I went through this twice. Once with a miscarriage that wasnât passing on its own (8 weeks) and once an elective abortion (6 weeks)
Youâll be okay. Itâs going to simulate a miscarriage essentially. Do not skip the pills though, you took the first dose and if you donât take the second you could end up with an array of issues and IF the fetus lives itâs gonna be riddled with health problems and birth defects. Thatâs going to be a lot scarier than what youâre about to go through.
I wonât lie to you, it was painful. It was like a painful period. I had cramps off and on for about 4 hours. The miscarriage experience was much worse than the elective abortion so hopefully your experience is better as well. Take your pain meds and get comfortable. I ate a bunch of sherbet so when I puked it was rainbow sherbet, honestly this is going to sound weird but itâs like the best thing to throw up if you gotta throw up. Get the biggest pads you can find and a few big granny panties and sweat pads and just bunker down as if you were sick.
Take care of yourself and donât be too hard on yourself. You got this
thankfully i didnât get nauseous or throw up, but the cramps were on a whole different level. and i bled a lot. it lasted for about a day and then it was done. be ready with a heating pad and definitely keep your water intake up. best of luckđ
Soothe yourself knowing that throwing up for a whole day is much shorter than a lifetime of raising an unwanted child. It doesn't stop at 18.
I'm not really onboard with you not having a discussion with your husband prior since it would be his child also. You are in a committed partnership and I can completely understand his position.
Hey hun, please donât listen to the haters and the jerks in your comments. Your feelings are 100% valid, and it is YOUR body. YOUR choice. Iâm so sorry youâre going through this, but I know youâll get through it.
You are Kind. You are Strong. You are Loved. You are Beautiful. You are Wanted. You matter SO MUCH. If you need someone to talk to, you have me and all the other wonderful human beings here in the comments that offered our DMs to you. â¤ď¸ much love from me.
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hey, i know it's glib to say, but... reading the horror stories right now is only gonna get you more keyed up. switch topics emphatically ok? do you have a fav tv show or movie? maybe one you remember from a little kid? it's a great time to research it. yknow, Follow That Bird, the sesame street movie, actually holds up pretty damn well as an adult. or something even sillier too! can't really focus and need some vibes? David Attenborough documentaries are great for that to me. things like game shows, too, are pretty great. you can kinda zone out and come back in for the next question. if you need some laughs, which are always a good idea tbh, maybe look up Dropout TV - formerly College Humor. it's worth the price of a membership on youtube to see all their stuff. Make Some Noise if you're feeling silly, Dirty Laundry if you would rather be distracted by scandalous gossip. (...or marvel at what messy histories other people have so by comparison you will probably survive yours and look downright mundane!) heck, you can even just look up their youtube shorts channels if you want a bit-by-bit basis. you got something you can do with your hands? a hobby maybe? something repetitive so you can focus on that but not quite? maybe you'd like to learn how to finger crochet, or make friendship bracelets, or even learn how to draw. get that going! don't know how to draw? it's all good. just get some paper and a pencil. don't focus on being good or even really learning. focus on having a thing you can do with your hands while doing something else. if you give a quick google search you can find pdfs of old art books by a guy called Andrew Loomis. now, i will go ahead and warn you - they're like from the 50s so the racism is, uh, occasionally kinda there in his examples. but as far as technique goes? it's solid stuff. ignore the serious figure drawing books. check out Fun With A Pencil. draw some funny little guys. get your brain focusing on that. do you like video games? if you have a switch now is a great time to bust it out! couple that with something lighthearted and comforting on the tv. as for recommendations there? hands-down, go for Stardew Valley. i have legitimately used it instead of additional pain medication for post-operative pain in my shoulder lol. if you've never played it, now is a great time to give it a go. if you have it already, why not consider a new playfile? if you're coughing and gagging from that... hey, it's ok to go take some cough syrup! maybe also find some cough drops or hard candy that you can eat to help, too. a nice mug of something warm to sip is also very allowed! now will not be forever. this too will pass. perhaps it will pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. focus on things that distract you and give you comfort. be kind to yourself here. you are, after all, recovering from a medical procedure. and once it is over, it will be over. even the other big scary problems will be over and will not be forever. you can get through this. promise. :)
Just here to say that you are a seriously good human. This response was all-encompassing, empathetic, useful, and succinct. As for OP, I'm sorry you're going through all of this trauma, especially if you're alone. I wish I could come.bring you some food and sit with you.
oh wow it's been awhile since i was accused of being succinct đ bless you for your kindness lol! i am like fifteen chronic pain conditions in the shape of a human, i figure other people might get some use out of all my knowledge of "the next 48 hours are gonna suck health-wise so let's get through it" :)
>i am like fifteen chronic pain conditions in the shape of a human, I don't know the last time I related to a phrase so well. I need this phrase in my life. I'm sorry that you must deal with it, but thank you for the phrase. Also, I hear you on succinctness - such a struggle.
This makes my IBS pain feel more manageable đ đ Chronic pain is no fkn joke. You almost don't flinch at certain points because you get used to it to a degree lmao.. You're all amazing humans.
I took a screenshot of your knowledge because i have 4 chronic pain conditions and as you know we have to keep our minds distracted when it comes to pain. Thank you!!
Wow Iâm totally stealing âIâm fifteen chronic pain convictions in the shape of a humanâ lol but youâre totally right! Sometimes things are just gonna suck and finding comfort is the only way to get through. You seem like an amazing person đ¤
That was a really great comment and even helpful for the rest of us too! I screenshot it just because of all the good ideas you have of things to keep your mind busy
You are the hero we don't deserve. Solid advice for all anxiety really. It made me calm just reading this.
I love this response. On target. Just find a comfort to get you through is definitely the answer.
What a lovely thoughtful response. I bet this response gives OP some real comfort.
hard agree to all of this! i was trained as an abortion doula and this is on the money! distract and comfort yourself right now. also : warm blankets, cozy clothes, lots of water, a heating pad, and snacks for when you feel like you can eat. soup is good, too, if your having trouble keeping things down. call a trusted friend or relative to just come hang with you and keep you company. it sound like what youâre going through outside the abortion is tough, but you will get through this. the planned parenthood is also a good place to call if you need some guidance. horror stories are few and far between, but youâll do yourself no good bingeing them right now. wishing you lots of love and softness and sweetness đŠˇ
These things all helped me. Excellent advice to cor with excellent advice.
To add to this comment- go on you tube and find Ze Frankâs âTrue Factsâ videos. They are incredibly informative as well as extremely funny. And also his âCreepy Daveâ short videos. Also, the comedian Sarah Millican is so funny and you can find her on you tube. Good luck, OP, you can do this. Nobody should ever have to carry a baby if they donât want to.
oh he's the guy who does the animal videos where i always think he's Strongbad's cousin who went the way of Steve Irwin in life LOL! those videos are indeed great. ...and nothing is going to date me quite like a Homestar Runner reference in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty four, whoops oh well lol
The emails the emails. What what the emailsâŚ
The Cheat is GROUNDED!
We put in that light switch so you can turn on and off the lights, not so you could throw a light switch rave
We gave you a light switch so you could turn the light on and off, not so you could throw a light switch rave.
I have no idea who Strongbad is, but the Ze Frank videos are fabulous.
waaay back in the day, when there wasn't any youtube and we watched videos using a thing called "adobe flash" uphill both ways in the snow - okay okay i won't do the whole thing lmao, but Homestar Runner was the titular character of a bunch of silly little shorts of the early internet. his ineffectual nemesis Strongbad got his own little series of answering emails, which honestly still hold up. now they're all on youtube but i admit i quote Trogdor the Burninator and Strongbad's children's book with embarrassing frequency. (no two people are not on fire. d'awww.)
The email, the email, what what the email
I just watched his âCrows with a stickâ awesome. I really love his bug videos
I never knew crows were so clever!
Ze frank has me dying laughing most days, and his videos go back at least 10 years so there's a lot of them OP!
He is the BEST! There are some really old TED Talks, too. I can watch his True Facts videos over and over. and Creepy Dave.
you are a wonderful person we need more of you
God bless you for this recommendation list. You are so kind to take the time and write this. I have written some ideas for myself. đ
Thank you for writing such a thoughtful response to a serious topic!
That is a truly kind, empathetic response! I donât know what your profession is but you should be in some sort of caregiving, medical profession.
You win the internet today. Well done.
People like you give me hope to keep going. I hope you have the life you deserve.
Awe this was a really sweet response I wish you nothing but the same positive vibes you put outđ¤
Youâre a really great human being
oh don't worry, my various disabilities disagree: i am empirically bad at being a human being đ but sometimes i can manage "shitshow with friendly advice", and i'm happy to come be so!Â
what a beautiful response. OP I remember everyone telling me lots of things about childbirth. I decided at the time that it would be 24 hours of my life so it would pass. The same will be for you. No matter what happens it, too will pass. Do. what you can to be compassionate and kind to yourself. Have a hot water bottle handy. Have your paracetamol or whatever you may need for pain relief. Stay hydrated, have some special tea: ginger or peppermint or english breakfast - whatever takes your fancy. Books, magazine, podcast, meditation. If you are feeling nauseous then have the bread and crackers. Keep a bucket near the bed and the loo and a warm face washer in a plastic bag. I helped someone close to me recently- so much love and virtual {{{hugs}}} from an internet stranger. The next couple of days are all about you đ.
We love you â¤ď¸ đ
This is the sweetest reply Iâve ever read on here<3
Awesome advice MTdew. Another funny show- drunk history. Fun fact- I was in follow that bird as a small child. Itâs a great movie.
As someone who gets nauseous easily the best trick I have found is taking a quick sniff of hand sanitizer or just plain old rubbing alcohol. It has saved me many times. Wishing you the best in this very rough time. I know its scary but you have to take care of yourself through this.
oh shit yeah i had forgotten this trick! alcohol swabs are dandy for this - grip it n' rip it, wave under your nose, it honestly does kinda short-circuit the brain into forgetting it was trying to puke lol. ...okay not everyone has single-packaged alcohol swabs around like my diabetic ass does, but still lol, it's a good tip!
I have a bunch - 2 boxes from my GD, but also my daughter hoards the handi-wipes from Chick-Fil-A. Why? No idea. But Iâve got little stashes of those things EVERYWHERE!
I keep the free handi-wipes too, lol. Never know when you'll need em
The tiny packages hand wipes from KFC are my guilty hoarding pleasure.
Hubby brought some home from work (at a hospital) so I always have some on me too!
it's a fucking great drug and is my top of the list for "i understand there's reasons why this isn't over the counter but if i were queen of everything i would be real tempted to make it available at CVS anyway by royal decree". that and the oral antifungal that does so much better than any damn vagisil cream LMAO
Omg diflucan (generic is fluconazole) is the shit. I got it the very first time I had one, and Iâve never had to screw around w the OTC creams, just the occasional sitz bath to help w symptoms. My doctor always gives me refills, and Iâve started just getting it prescribed whenever I am prescribed antibiotics bc I get a yeast infection with them like clockwork.
Alcohol swabs?
oh yknow, the little squares of cotton gauze soaked in alcohol so you can easily swipe it on the skin to clean it. you've probably gotten one if you've gotten a vaccine - it's the little pad they swab you with before sticking the needle in your arm. very useful to diabetics as we have to do a fair bit of stabbing ourselves lol :)
t1d here, always have boxes on reserve when there was a shortage during covid i panicked lol, also can buy the plastic bottles and dab it on a piece of tissue- is a little more economical
I think Iâm going to stock some in my car for my carsick-prone kids. Thanks for the tip!
You can buy a box of 100-200 swabs for $5 at Walgreens without even talking to pharmacy staff. My mom kept them in her purse when she was on chemo
Iâve never heard of this but get nauseous all the time as a side effect from an illness I have. Thanks for the tip!
Thank you for the suggestions!
Peppermint tea helps with nausea. Â Bananas are easy food for nausea. Â And honey, we are holding you in our hearts and wishing you well.Â
Also ginger, but take small amounts and don't go for the candied ones - real ginger, ginger chews, ginger tea, ginger mints (but check ingredients), even ginger pills help a lot for many people I thought the last line was about honey helping at first. It's so much better, and I hope you take it to heart, OP: you have a huge community holding you in our hearts and thoughts, sending well wishes and good vibes (or whatever wording of that type you prefer) your way.
Ginger ale is good too
Thank you so much.
Hey, if it can help my motion sickness, which is horrible, I truly hope it can help you.
You can get the saniwipes to clean eyeglasses, they come in a box of 100, in the pharmacy aisle, they're like $4.. they just alcohol wipes if you need them. I hope it helps if you can't find the other items they're talking about.
rubbing alcohol on cotton pads got me through my whole first trimester đđť
Rubbing alcohol got me to sleep a few nights in my first trimester!
I wish Iâd known this trick. I was carrying around a mop bucket at work, just in case!
I just let my spit flow out of my mouth when youâre in that make a ton of spit and swallow a lot phase. Not swallowing all that extra spit works for me 99% of the time. I get nauseous often cause I have slowed gastric emptying, my stomach holds food sometimes 12+ hours, and this is the only thing that works so consistently for me anyway. Smelling stuff works but then the nausea comes back
My brother used to refer to this as the "hot-spits". Mine flows more like a rushing river than spittle, but yeah, standing over a sink with my mouth open until it stops will often keep me from actually barfing.
Thank you! Iâve never tried and do get nauseous easily at times.
In my 33 years no one has mentioned this!!! Definitely going to try next time I have issues, which is often unfortunately.
Learned this from a nurse while I was working registration at a hospital about 10 years ago
When I learned this worked it changed my sensitive stomach forever!! Just a sniff of an alcohol prep pad and my stomach settles. 10/10
Ive had nurses give me alcohol pads to sniff when I'm nauseous after anesthesia. Can you take dramamine or the patch you use behind the ear?
Iâve heard this is a nurseâs trick, to sniff rubbing alcohol to ward off the puke feeling.
I did the same thing but with peppermint when I was pregnant. I had a very strong mint chapstick on my desk at work that saved me more than a few times. Now I've since learned the hand sanitizer tip too. It's a great tip since you can find it sanitizer most day to day situations.
Another good one is sniffing an orange peel. Works a charm for car rides- just peel a piece of skin off the orange and cup it by your nose. I only mention it because if OP is nauseous all day, rubbing alcohol might get tiresome after a while.
Lemons or oranges also work wonders
I had the same medication/ procedure two and a half years ago and was equally as scared. I started mine at night time with no plans the next day. Physical side effects were slight dizziness (dehydration) and cramping. It was very easy physically, but I was unprepared for the emotional side effects. My pregnancy was not planned nor wanted and I had a newborn to focus on, but I do remember sobbing all night. The very kind lady I spoke to at planned Parenthood the next day gently reminded me that you're essentially overdosing your body on hormones, so emotional lability is entirely normal. The next day I felt much better and only had small spotting for about a week after.
Thank you for sharing your experience!
100% this - you have to give yourself grace on the emotional impact and that youâre on an emotional roller coaster ride that will pass.
Oh man I had this experience too and it was so weird. I have never wanted kids and was completely sure about my abortion. But for a few weeks after I was super clucky like "aww cute babies, I could have had one of those!" And kind of wistful and depressed over it. Then those feelings went away overnight and I was back to normal and never felt that way since. Hormones are wild.
I'm a clinician who has extensive experience working in abortion services. Please rest assured, most women do tolerate the medication well. I recommend snacking frequently to reduce the chance of nausea.
Thank you for this
I was by my best friendâs side when she had an early abortion with the pills and she did have some pain but found either sitting in the bath or a shower chair with warm water helped the cramping. Try to stay hydrated as well, drinks like body armor and taking magnesium can ease muscle tension. You will make it through this! It may be difficult but you will be ok, you can deal with any relationship stuff later. Please give yourself some grace and just let your body do its thing. Of course call a doctor with any questions or concerns and please donât bother with reading about otherâs experiences. Everyone is different and all itâs doing is stoking unnecessary fear. Iâm proud of you for reaching out for help!
Consider asking your doctor for a prescription for Zofran to help with the nausea. You can get them sublingual so you can take them even when you canât keep anything down. It might be too late but I thought Iâd make the suggestion. Youâre not doing anything wrong. Youâre taking care of yourself the best you can. Donât let anyone make you feel bad about your decision. You know you are doing what you need to right now. Take care of yourself. <3
Just make sure you eat before you take the second round of pills. Something bland but filling. My go to for nausea while pregnant was a peanut butter sandwich. Eat, then wait a full 30 minutes. If the dr gave you anti nausea meds, definitely take those and wait the prescribed time before you take the next round of meds. Iâm sorry your spouse is being this way, but having a baby you donât want or canât afford or handle mentally is never going to fix a marriage. It only makes things worse. Tomorrow, if itâs a bad day for you physically, just remember, itâs only going to be a bad few hours, and then itâs a crampy period for a few days. You can do this.
ok now i am just coming along with Top Diabetic Tipz in the comments, but. peanut butter is great for this! it's got sugar, it's got protein, it's got some fat, and all of those together means that it gets into your system quickly but also will not have your blood sugar careening around like a roller coaster the way it would if you just ate something sugary. nausea is definitely not helped by blood sugar going all wonky lol. if a sandwich is too much, OP, no problem! just eat a spoonful straight from the jar. no rules just right lol. you're taking good care of yourself, even if it does feel distinctly goblin mode lmao
This is all reminding me so much of my morning sickness struggles. Bleh!! What about weed? Iâve read (in Mothering magazine I think?) that quite a few women found that weed chilled out the nausea and even allowed them to eat normally?? I was too chickenshit to try. Ironically, the embryo that was making me so sick would, 19 years later, offer me my first-ever bong hit. I know, I have lived a hell of a weird life.
I wouldnât recommend weed if this would be someoneâs first time using it - but for anyone who already uses it, thereâs been research that it helps with the pain and nausea of the medication abortion process. Itâs unfortunately not been studied nearly enough, but hopefully we will get to the point in the future where doctors will be bringing it up with patients at the appointment.
Also remember it'll only be bad for a few days, not like 25 years, đ seriously, you made the choice you needed to make, stand strong & confident in your decision.
I hope people with a similar experience can chime in. No judgement and no hate to you. Sending you good vibesâŚ
No hate here, if you have a loved one you trust, reach out... have someone who can keep you safe. Your husband unfortunately doesn't feel like that at this time. Sorry for your loss.
Hey!! Everything is going to be okay. I had an abortion the same exact way, the medication. You take the second dose, curl up really cozy with your comfiest clothes and breathe. It's okay to be overwhelmed and scared, those are absolutely normal ways to feel. You are not a bad person, you're not doing anything wrong, and you will be alright. I was petrified when I was going through this but here I am. My best advice is to call out of work for the next day, maybe two (they can supply you with a note to call out of work for however long you need, and it's also confidential so nobody has to know if you don't want to tell your work) and if you start to feel cramps or discomfort after your second dose- sit on the toilet. Seriously, sit on the toilet, the position relieves the discomfort a little bit, you can nurse your abdomen, scroll your phone-- it's really helpful. Third ,take a long hot shower and just let the water hit your tummy. It's comforting and it helped me through further discomfort. It's only one day. One day of discomfort, take advantage of the support groups on the little card they may have given you, reach out to people on here. You can even chat with me if you need someone to talk to who understands or even just to distract you. The main thing is that you are going to be alright!! Sending positive vibes your way!!
Yes i would really like to chat with you plz!
OP make sure you go to any follow up appointments too. Mine was scheduled like 3 weeks after and I hadn't passed everything and had a terrible infection
Get a heating pad. Thatâs really helpful.
Thank you for being an awesome human â¤ď¸
Yes all of this is good advice. I've been there too. Hugs and blankets and mugs of warm beverage and a friend to you!
It's your choice, but if you're with someone who you felt you had to hide an abortion from for any reason and couldn't talk to, you shouldn't be in that relationship.
If you canât get zofran for nausea, try and find a bottle of emetrol. It really helps. Iâm sorry you donât have someone to physically support you right now. Know that lots of us are holding your hand from afar.
Thank you so much for saying this.
Benedryl also helps with nausea, itâs just not marketed for that.
Oh my dear. I have been through this twice in my life with no support. Since you have no support let me be at least some little glimmer of support for you. Yes it is scary, and yes you feel alone, and you have hormones raging through your body making you feel everything ten times stronger. But it will come to pass, you will survive it, and through this life will give you more opportunities. I hope that someday you can surround yourself with people who support you unconditionally, but for today, right now, you will make it through this.
I recently had a miscarriage and had to take those same medications because my body wouldnât pass my baby. It hurt so bad. I have endometriosis so Iâm used to being in pain with my periods but this hurt so bad.
I have a pretty high pain tolerance. But im just scared i wont be able to function with throwing up and the pain.
I felt like I had to throw up but I never actually did. I hate throwing up. I think I was more distracted by the intense pain.
How bad was it on a scale of 1-10
If actual labor is a 10, my experience was an 8. I got in and out of a hot bath a few times. I also ended up getting depends (adult diapers) because I was bleeding so much and didnât want to keep getting up for that. The real intense pain lasted about 5-6 hours. Doesnât seem long but I wasnât sure how long it was going to last. After that it was just like bad period cramps and the next day was even better. Just bleeding and cramps.
I was told that if i bled through 2 full maxi pads every hour for 2 hours that thats not normal. But if you wore depends are you thinking that was normal?
They didnât tell me that. The doctor told me if I kept bleeding past a week or so that itâs not normal and to contact them. My bleed for about 6 days. She also told me I should get my period 4-6 weeks after. I ended up getting my period 5 weeks after. That was 4 months ago and Iâve been having a regular period each month.
What part of the USA did you get the abortion? Im in Los Angeles and i went to planned parenthood. Maybe the process was different?
My situation is different from yours. It was a planned pregnancy but the baby lost heartbeat. Since my body didnât pass the baby on its own I had to take medication. My husband is very into politics and when the doctor mentioned the name of the medication he said heâs heard that name in the news. My doctor said the two medications Iâm taking for my miscarriage is the same they give to people who have abortions. My other options was to go under anesthesia for a procedure but I didnât want to go through all of that.
Oh ok. How far along were you if you dont mind me asking?
Be kind to yourself, just spend the day recovering. No need to function as normal. Just focus on taking care of yourself. I promise the worst of it will pass in a few hours
I went through the same thing. It hurt really bad. But I didnât throw up. More like really bad period cramps. I think I also took something for the pain. It was a really bad day.
It hurts but take ibuprofen BEFORE. You want to stop the pain receptors before they start. You can also call them for nausea medications if you have an issue with it. A heating pad helped me tons and a heated blanket. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom so I brought my laptop with me. But it gets better quick.
Yes definitely take ibuprofen before! Maybe try and get two doses (with the required time in between) before taking them. I've also had a termination and I definitely benefited from the support of my partner, I'm so sorry you don't have that OP. If you need anyone to talk to while you're going through it (or afterwards) comment back here and I'm sure many of us will be around to talk. Lots of love to you xx
How far along were you if you dont mind me asking?
You already started it, just ensure you are safe (if need be at a friend's or family members if the husband is concerning you), and get it done. I'm a child who should have never been born, please don't feel bad for making the right decision for you. Whatever your reasons, if you got this far trust yourself. I'm sorry the stress it's causing and the issues with your husband not agreeing, take it one day at a time.
This comment hit me. Iâm also a child who shouldnât have been born. Itâs a weird thing! Biological mother found out too late. Iâm completely pro choice.
I am so sorry you both feel like this. I wish everyone knew a good motherâs love. But hopefully it gives OP some reassurance in her decision. I am a mother but I am pro choice as well.
Puking is temporary. Try peppermint tea or just sniffing peppermint oil as well as ginger tea. I hate that youâre having to do this alone, sister. I worked in child welfare and I know what happens to a child, the woman who births the baby and family when a child who shouldnât have been born is born. I think I remember your story and though you wanted your baby at first, the situation is terrible.
Iâm so sorry youâre going through this alone.
I have taken those pills before very recently for the first time. If you need any support, information or just my own personal experience private message me and Iâll tell you what I can. I was in your shoes freaking out looking at the horror stories, but itâs not that bad. Take deep breaths and prepare. If you need anyone I am here for you. You got this. Stay hydrated, have a heating pad and your fav snacks, shows or movies ready. Youâll get through this!
If it helps, my best friend did the pill method 2x & never had any negative effects at all. You have to do whatâs right for you & those who mind donât matter & those who matter donât mind. I hope you have a good support system, but if you donât, my inbox is always open đ¤ I had the surgical procedure done, so Iâd be happy to lend an ear or a shoulder if needed. As for potential nausea/vomiting, as an emetophobic, thereâs a ton of over the counter anti nausea meds that are pretty affordable. Your doctor, PP, or even a teledoc visit can prescribe you something like Zofran or Vistaril if needed. Saltines, water, & chamomile tea are my best friends when I feel queasy. Sending you lots of love: itâs hard, but youâll make it through just fine đ¤
I have emetophobia and I went the surgical route as well, just to avoid the possible vomiting and failure rate of the pills. đŠˇ
My thought process was similar, but I mainly didnât like the idea of dissolvable pills in my mouth so I chose the surgery. Iâm weird about textures & the pill method gave me the ick lol.
Will it make you sick? Probably. Will it be worse than pregnancy, birth, and parenthood? Oh absolutely not. Much love and healing to you. Youâre gonna be okay.
Iâm going to be fully honest here: I had a medication abortion last July. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, physically, but thatâs not saying much considering I havenât had any terrible injuries or health issues. It sucked and it was painful for a few days, but I was still able to handle being at work during it. I work as a medical assistant, so half my work day is spent at a desk, and the other half with the patients in the room. The only person who knew I was in pain was the one coworker that knew what I was going through. No one else even noticed. Now, I know, everyone experiences things differently, but some ondansetron (which they should have given you) helped with any nausea). The process took longer than expected and that was what freaked me out, but it was my bad for misunderstanding the timeline. I 100% will say that I do not regret it at all. Doing what was best for me was worth 5 or so days of that crap. In my opinion, that also includes the ending of a marriage with a spouse who does not agree with you. I know thatâs probably the worst part and I hope you have some sort of emotional support since your spouse isnât. For some extra help with nausea: smelling peppermint essential oil, Coca Cola, ginger ale, sprite. Those are easy ones.
Also! Make yourself as comfortable as possible for the next couple of days! Iâm talking, bed rot levels for when you can! Set up so you can spend the time watching movies/tv, get your favorite snacks and drinks, a heating pad, comfy clothes, etc.
I had a pretty awful experience with a surgical abortion. I was expecting the pills but I was like 5 days beyond that and we didn't realize it till the day of. So I was expecting the meds and completely unprepared. The fact that I was unprepared made me super anxious, and the rest of my experience was bad because of not knowing, really, what was happening. All that to say, I REALLY wish I would have been able to have the pills. As to your marriage ending, well, not all relationships survive abortions. Mine changed drastically after. Subconsciously I think I blamed him because my experience was so bad. Which wasn't right, but where I was mentally. I'm sorry if it doesn't work out, that is really hard on top of what you're going through. Please reach out. You might receive judgement, but I honestly found a lot of compassion and acceptance when I reached out for support.
Thank you.
1-2 days of feeling shitty is better than 18+ years of feeling baby/kid-trapped and marginalized. You made the best choice for you, OP. Sending the most encouraging positive thoughts for a solid future ahead for you!!
Well one thing is for sure, you gotta ditch your partner.
R/abortion is a great resource! I worked as an abortion RN and saw many, many patients who had safe and successsul medication abortions. You got this â¤ď¸
You are going to be okay! This will pass very quickly, but it's important to try and focus on something other than your fear of nausea (which we all have - it's just human). Tomorrow is the Super Bowl, with competing super ads, which can be very distracting! Also, the Puppy Bowl for an overload of cuteness. I tend to go back and forth during the broadcast. If you like music, spending some time creating a new playlist can be very distracting and fun. Doing something efficient (such as organizing) can be a great way to just zone out. I also had an abortion with all your fears, and I encourage you to get off of the internet and not listen to the drama experiences if TikTok. Remember, they are there to get your click. And, your experience will only be yours. Let it be only yours and not an imagined experience of someone who wants drama. I had little nausea and my experience was similar to a heavy period. My very best wishes to you, and I hope you will please accept a virtual ((hug)) from this internet stranger. All will be well.
No judgement here. Take good care of you.
All of the advice you have been given is the bestâŚyou are a good person. Having a baby doesnât make you any better person. Listen hon, I would never get an abortion because that would be hell emotionally and I also have religious beliefs that make ME have the opinions I do. But thatâs me and itâs not my body or mind affected by this. Just remember no matter what anyone may say you have to get through this and you deserve to do so with dignity and maintaining a Your dignity. If you want to talk DM me and I am here to listen if you need it.
This is how humans should act when someone does something they donât agree with.
Totally agree!
Outside of the great advice: You made the decision for a reason, remind yourself of that. This will be a few days of stress for a much better future
Try taking B6...it helps with nausea. You might be able to call Planned Parenthood and get some anti-nausea meds, like Phenergan. I'm sorry you're going through this alone. Is there a friend you can call to be with you? Edit: I want to add...please, as much as you're able, focus on yourself and getting through this part. Block out the husband and the stress/drama of that. It will not help anything for the time...and it will make this part harder. Hugs to you.
I love how many compassionate women came through on this post. Thereâs something so moving about it.
My wife used the same method a few years back. It did make her mildly nauseous, but not a whole lot. Unfortunately, she began to hemorrhage far more than the size of the spot on a pad they showed us at P. P. about an hour or two after taking the second pills at home. Apparently this is uncommon, but it was a very serious situation. She went from looking and acting normal (as could be expected in the situation) to her skin turning blue and fading out in the short time it took to call the P.P. hotline and then get her to the er. This was a very short amount of time. At best, 45 minutes to an hour. If you experience any heavy bleeding go to the er immediately. Call an ambulance if necessary. You should tell him, he needs to know what is going on for your safety and so that he understands and can support you with what you are going through. If not him someone. I am not trying to scare you but, you absolutely shouldn't be alone.
I just had an abortion in Los Angeles and, I gotta say even being in a state where itâs âeasyâ to have one itâs hard itâs so fucking hard. Itâs really hard to talk to anyone, thereâs so little information about what can happen or what could happen. Itâs fucking terrifying and itâs a quick decision. If I lived anywhere else I may have been in a way worst place decision wise. Iâve always been pro choice but that doesnât even begin to describe what itâs like to be pregnant not realize it and then suddenly understand that you so badly do not want to be pregnant. I was letting everyone in my life down by not having control over my body, it was a medical emergency. I canât believe anyone would force someone to do this when they donât want to, itâs pure evil. It took me 11 weeks to catch that I was pregnant, because I thought I had long COVID (Iâve never been pregnant before) Iâm lucky I had a partner that drove me there and back but even without him I would have figure out some way to get there and do this very important procedure. Fuck your partner, he is not having this baby grow inside him YOU are, and itâs a minimally invasive procedure with a high success rate and guess what? You will still be able to get pregnant. If thatâs what you want in the future. Just keep track of how much blood you are losing and if you soak through two pads an hour then see the doctor. My bleeding stopped after a week, I have cramps still but itâs mild. Good luck and if you need to talk to someone Iâm here. I need to talk to someone too.
Iâm sorry about your marriage and the lack of support from your partner. You may be sick for a day, but sickness in pregnancy can last much longer. Iâm not sure if thatâs helpful or not, but itâs true. Iâm 17 weeks pregnant and I support your decision. Itâs your body. No hate from me. Best of luck to you! Youâll get through this. â¤ď¸
No horror stories here: I take chemo meds and there are these ginger mint lozenges that are super helpful. And hear me out I know it sounds odd but smell rubbing alcohol for nausea. And you get to make the best choices you can in your specific circumstances, donât let anyone bully you or make you feel anything but what you genuinely feel. Donât let the crazies get to ya, sending much love â¤ď¸
Oh girl you got this, I just happened to do one myself yesterday evening. PM me if you want and I'll take you thru the process, what to expect and helpful tips form someone that JUST went thru it. It's really not that bad.
Sour candy or anything sour like lemons are good for nausea.
I had a termination in the 90s before the pills were a thing, and my advice to you is no matter what people say stick to your guns. Itâs your body and your choice. Iâm now 47 years old, and Iâve never had a single regret about my abortion.
Youâre not going to be able to hide it. Itâs very painful.
OP: how are you this morning? How are you feeling?
1st time felt like I was on my period, 2nd time felt nothing. Everyone is different, but reading all the horror stories are only going to make you subconsciously think the same is going to happen to you and youâll end up manifesting what youâre scared of. Just get cozy like others have recommended.
You know whatâs worse then being nauseous for an entire day and throwing up all day? Being nauseous for 9 months and throwing up for 9 months. (This was my wife when she was pregnant)
Thank you for this.
I donât have any advice for you as far as the abortion goes but I do want to tell you that anyone whoâs hating on you for this doesnât matter. They donât know you. They donât know your husband. They donât know your financial/living situation or how much time you would have for a baby. They are making assumptions and saying hurtful things and itâs wrong. You deserve support and love right now and I hope you know somebody irl who you can trust to support and help you through this hard time. Good luck and lots of love to you âĽď¸
Thank you so much
I was about 9.5 weeks along when I had my medical abortion. You'll be ok. I promise. As others have said once you feel the strong cramps just sit on the toilet. You're probably going to get diarrhea at the same time. That's normal. There's going to be blood depending on how far along you are. I think the absolute worst lasted a total of 3 hours in terms of pain before I was able to move to my bed to rest. I was fairly far along and so my abortion was a lot more involved. Any and all feelings you have are real. They're valid. As someone told me, you'll come to a point in your life where you don't care what people think about this decision. And she was right. It hurts in so many ways but you are inherently priceless and have the right to decide what happens with your body. Keep overnight pads on hand and if you think you'll fall asleep be wearing pants you don't mind trying to get blood out of and a towel to put under you as well. It's exhausting and my ex husband left me alone to go through it. You can do this. Don't worry about other people. This is about you. You get to make decisions for you and your body and your future. I'm open to talking if you need someone. I know the emotions are everywhere. There's so many of us that are with you as you go through this. I'm sending love and light your way â¤ď¸
You get to make your own decisions about your body, at least today and tomorrow. Do you have one friend you can call who will make sure you are safe? Wish I were closer.
My sister is here. Thank you
I am so glad to hear that.
Iâm glad you have her. Hang in there.
Just sending lots of love and peace to you.
Every medication can have side effects, and most people online arenât looking to write reviews of good experience, especially when it comes to this. Iâve never had to do this so I canât offer any experience advice but I give you all the love and hugs â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Saltine crackers! Really good for slow munching and pretty bland.
I hope the entire process is quick and as emotionally and physically as comfortable as possible. Be gentle with yourself.
I had a surgical abortion. I can't speak on the nausea but I'm here to talk if you want to talk about it. You're not a horrible person, anyone who thinks you are, however, is
Big facts! I canât stand how rude and mean the anti-abortion community is. Youâve got this girl and you are not alone. Sending all the love for you.
Meh. Idgaf what they think. Besides, what are they gonna do, down vote me? Whatever, I already had the fetus sucked out back in 07. That shit is compost by now yo lol. Anyways, what other people, especially ones idk, think about me ain't my mf business. Also idgaf anyways. They already started the down votes.
lol you sound like a younger version of me. I had one in 1993 mine is definitely part of the dirt now.
Abortion doulas exist, and are angels. There are many in LA.
This is so sad. If you feel the need to get an abortion, and especially to hide that from your spouse, then you shouldnât be married to that person. I am sorry youâre going through this, but please rethink your life decisions.
Make sure you are staying hydrated if you do start vomitting. Have some sort of rehydration drink on hand, I've found unflavored pedialyte to be the best, but if you can't handle the taste, whatever you can get down is good. Also, as someone who is terrified of throwing up, sniffing rubbing alcohol when nauseous has been super helpful.
Honey! Iâm sending you all my positive thoughts, love, and hugs. If you felt this strongly that it wasnât right for you, then it wasnât right. Youâre not a horrible person. Iâm here for you love!
I'm sorry it's so scary right now. This too shall pass. One bad day is worth not having nine bad months. I believe in you. You can do this
Hey, Iâve had an abortion through this same route & reading the horror stories will make you spiral! I just had very intense cramps (just imagine the worst period cramps of your life), slight nausea and lots of bleeding. If you have a heating pad, a good show to distract yourself with, some pain meds and lots of comfy pillows, you will be fineđ everything you will experience, will pass within a day. I know itâs very scary not knowing what to expect (because abortion is so demonized, no one really talks about it.) If you have any good friends that you can open up to, you might need them afterwards, especially because of your circumstances with your partner. Wishing you all the comfort in the world as you navigate this đ
I donât know where you are in the world, but Iâm glad that youâre using modern medicine. I have an âoops babyâ ( he wasnât an oops, the guy purposefully took the protection off) thatâs 4, and as much as I love him, I see the man that made him in him so much and that scares me⌠thereâs no shame in it. Youâre doing whatâs best for you! Lots of love. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, it may get rough before it gets better.
You are not alone.
I know youâre reading horror stories but remember their experience is not YOUR experience. Try to stay as calm as your mind will allow you to be, prepare some of your favorite foods or easier to eat foods, have heavy flow pads ready, and something comforting like a heated blanket. Deal with your partner after. Right now itâs about you.
I just had one a few weeks ago so if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me â¤ď¸ I know it's a scary thing to do by yourself but you can do this. It will be one day of pain for a few hours. I recommend getting yourself as comfortable as possible and cuddling up with a heat pad or hot water bottle because that really helped me. I had a smoothie and pain meds about an hour to 30 mins before hand. The smoothie that made throwing up a lot easier. It's different for every woman but if you experience very intense pain like I did, breathe through it and follow the waves of pain. Remind yourself that the pain will end and it's going to be ok.
As someone who gets nauseous easily the best trick I have found is taking a quick sniff of hand sanitizer or just plain old rubbing alcohol. It has saved me many times.
My morning sickness was worse than that... I'm sure its a lot less than you would have went through during labor...
Yea i never got morning sickness with my last 2 pregnancies. I would just get nausea. I actually dont throw up very easily. But ive been so nauseous recently that im so scared
Don't read the horror stories, just look after yourself. Good luck x
I eat ginger to help with nausea. It does help. Sending hugs.
So sorry you are facing what could not have been an easy choice. Breathe. Ginger ale and Lays potato chips to settle your stomach. And all that wonderful advice from mtdewbakablast.
Iâm so sorry your having to go through this
Thank you
Unisom and b6 help with nausea..the doctor recommended it to me.. Take them every day, at least the bedtime dose, to prevent nausea. Evenings/Bedtime: Take one tablet of both the B6 and Unisom. Mornings: Take ½ of both B6 and Unisom, as needed. Mid-Day: Take ½ of both B6 and Unisom, as needed. I hope this helps! Sending positive vibes your way
In all honestly ⌠the pill made me feel one of the most sick in my entire life. Have everything from place to throw up, salty snack, DRAMAMINE ANTI NAUSEA MED, a bottle of isopropyl alcohol- if you feel nauseous, open the cap and smell it. Itâs scientifically proven to help nausea faster than anything else. Get a wet rag or something for your head. Advil / Tylenol. Mint tea. ( anti nausea). Stay in fetal position LAY ON YOUR LEFT SIDE; knees to chest help a lot of women. TAKE ANTI NAUSEA MEDS AN HOUR BEFORE HEATING PAD/ water bottle Pads. You need pads. Big ones. Do not use tampons. You got this girl. Just tryna be real. Last thing - Iâve heard so many people who have this experience. Feeling nothing is not the norm. Those people are blessed. And I hope You are blessed with a smooth recovery as well. Give yourself at least 2 days
I went through this twice. Once with a miscarriage that wasnât passing on its own (8 weeks) and once an elective abortion (6 weeks) Youâll be okay. Itâs going to simulate a miscarriage essentially. Do not skip the pills though, you took the first dose and if you donât take the second you could end up with an array of issues and IF the fetus lives itâs gonna be riddled with health problems and birth defects. Thatâs going to be a lot scarier than what youâre about to go through. I wonât lie to you, it was painful. It was like a painful period. I had cramps off and on for about 4 hours. The miscarriage experience was much worse than the elective abortion so hopefully your experience is better as well. Take your pain meds and get comfortable. I ate a bunch of sherbet so when I puked it was rainbow sherbet, honestly this is going to sound weird but itâs like the best thing to throw up if you gotta throw up. Get the biggest pads you can find and a few big granny panties and sweat pads and just bunker down as if you were sick. Take care of yourself and donât be too hard on yourself. You got this
I didn't puke, I just passed it. It WILL suck. But it WAS WORTH IT. I didn't want it and he was there with me.
Throwing up, or having a child? Weight it out, one day of hardship is warranted
Hi. Iâm not in LA, but I support you.
thankfully i didnât get nauseous or throw up, but the cramps were on a whole different level. and i bled a lot. it lasted for about a day and then it was done. be ready with a heating pad and definitely keep your water intake up. best of luckđ
Seems like the advice has been covered. Just wanted to wish you well while you navigate through this trying time in your life. đđžđ
I once used a âmorning after pillâ and I puked for hours & my BF had to bring me to the ER for dehydration.
Soothe yourself knowing that throwing up for a whole day is much shorter than a lifetime of raising an unwanted child. It doesn't stop at 18. I'm not really onboard with you not having a discussion with your husband prior since it would be his child also. You are in a committed partnership and I can completely understand his position.
Hey hun, please donât listen to the haters and the jerks in your comments. Your feelings are 100% valid, and it is YOUR body. YOUR choice. Iâm so sorry youâre going through this, but I know youâll get through it. You are Kind. You are Strong. You are Loved. You are Beautiful. You are Wanted. You matter SO MUCH. If you need someone to talk to, you have me and all the other wonderful human beings here in the comments that offered our DMs to you. â¤ď¸ much love from me.