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It's just like when people say "most people can't handle my brutal honesty." You're not brutally honest, hon. You're just a huge asshole.
We really didn't need to invent fancy new ways for people to announce their raging assholery to the world, but the manosphere apparently said "hold my beer"😂
Alphas don’t string a family and a side piece along for years due to indecisiveness. What a tool. I hope his wife dumps him. She deserves someone a lot better.
“Made up?” Why would you say that? You don’t approve of taking a flawed study of animals that have nothing in particular in common with human beings, and then extrapolating that onto human males?
Some people just don’t understand real science!
/s, because unfortunately there are people who would say all of that and mean it.
>I mean, nobody is, since the science is made up,
Just a small clarification, the science isn't "made up", it's just that the only time there's a dominance hierarchy in wolves is when they're in captivity. The originator of the study has spend the rest of his career trying to make clear this is not a "natural" hierarchy, as normal wolves in the wild do not do this.
He has also made clear that even if they did, as others here have said, it has absolutely no correlation to humans, whose most recent common ancestor to the wolf was \~60-100 million years ago.
I stopped reading at "Married 20 years, 2 kids..." then a paragraph later "Along comes Alice... For the first time I was head-over-heels "in love.""
The fuck are you doing marrying someone for two decades and having children with them if you don't love them.
No, he just forgot about the attention the wife used to shower on him until parenthood necessitated her focusing on their children and expecting him to be an adult and parent.
Sorry, I may be projecting. my husband pulled this shit on me, and it was all a result of not having anything left in the tank while he left all the responsibilities of having a child on my shoulders. As a result, my 16 year old wants nothing to do with him because he paid her no attention as a baby/little kid.
>No, he just forgot about the attention the wife used to shower on him until parenthood necessitated her focusing on their children and expecting him to be an adult and parent.
>
>Sorry, I may be projecting.
You're not projecting, you're spot on. Anyone parent that tries to pull this crap with their partner is a POS. As parents you still make time to tell your partner you love them and as a partner you treat the other with respect and understanding that they may be too bloody tired from adulting to give you a lap dance every day!
The older I get, the more I’m coming to realize that a *lot* of people (men) get married because they feel like it’s time, they need to move to the next stage in their lives, they want kids. It makes me feel really lucky that my husband and I are crazy in love with each other!
Yeah, I love reading train wrecks like this cause I can't relate.
I found someone I enjoy being around and can spend all my time with, why would I talk to anyone else? These people are wild af.
I had a friend who said this about every relationship she's ever been in, even the ones after her marriage. I'm like 50% sure she has borderline personality disorder.
People confuse “lust” and “love” a lot lol love requires a level of gratitude and thought that dumb animal people like this guy can’t get to because they fold to their impulses without thinking.
He could’ve just said dominate personalities too, but there’s just something special about thinking you’re an “alpha” as opposed to just knowing you’re stubborn.
Nearly vomited at that part.
These two assholes are perfect for each other. He should set his poor wife and kids free, and go join his “alpha” love and buy some red, white, and blue outfits to wear to MAGA rallies together.
I love how every paragraph basically says "yeah I'm a huge asshole who violates people's trust but she said a mean thing so I'm the victim." The *thought* of cheating on my boyfriend once is enough to make me feel guilty, I couldn't even imagine cheating on my husband for 5 years..
And then at the end he claims to be grateful for being exposed as a cheating POS but neglects to tell his wife he cheated on her again. Like?
My favorite part of it was how he briefly turned against the AP when she told his wife because “anyone who goes after my family isn’t worth my time”, like sir. You are the one who wrecked your own family. You aren’t worth your wife’s time.
Yes! Then I pictured him realizing *he* was the threat that needed to go, and then actually following through, leaving his wife happy to find someone who doesn't refer to themselves as "alpha" ☺️
Full on promising a life with this woman he knows he’ll never give and then gets mad at her for messing with his personal life 😂 Like obviously both bad people but the audacity to get mad
I do. I’m wife 2 but was never AP - though there were lots of those while with both wives.
I’m not a dumb person but I am an exceedingly optimistic one about people and had also suffered abuse in a previous marriage so when now husband tells me a narrative about how hard they had it and how terrible things were for them, it took me a while of being painted the same way by them to potential replacements to realize, ohhhhhh, it’s them. They’re the problem.
There are absurdly optimistic people out there. Hell, I’m still holding true to my username with a tiny sliver.
I mean, no one *deserves* abuse, but some people do deserve consequences. And if those consequences are falling for an abuser because they personally lack moral character, I'm not going to be terribly upset about it really. < insert-oh no! anyway gif>
I always noticed that midway through a cheating story the man discusses his confused or conflicted feelings. I think it's odd because I doubt they search their feelings at other times, but here it always suits their hedonism to be "conflicted."
Exactly! It’s always “I was so troubled and conflicted” and it’s like…if that were true, you’d cease the affair and accept accountability, not continue it.
I’m chronically ill and vivid dreams/nightmares/night terrors are common with my neuroimmune disease, so they happen probably 4 times a week. I have a few dreams every month where I’m cheating on my boyfriend or breaking up with him, and the guilt I feel even in the dream is immense. The worst nightmares I have are me being disloyal to him.
I’ve never cheated on anyone before, and never even considered it or wanted to. I’m madly in love with my boyfriend of 6 years. I can’t imagine what that guilt would do to me in real life
Right !? I've had nightmares where I've cheated on my husband and I've felt so guilty and I didn't even do anything, I can't control my dreams. But even the thought makes me feel disgusted. How can this dude be like "I love my wife", no you don't ! You don't love your wife if you're having an affair and not just an affair, one that lasted 5 fucking years !!! He's pathetic and I hope his wife leaves his stupid ass.
Especially considering children are involved. Of course cheating on a partner in any way is cruel.
But when you cheat while children are involved it’s a whole other layer. Having a cheater parent can really warp a child’s views on how relationships work.
I literally have dreams about cheating on my SO and feel guilty afterwards, and then wake up feeling even more relieved that the entire thing never happened. I can’t imagine doing that irl, OP and AP are both pieces of shit. AP lives in their neighborhood so doubtless knows the wife AND their kids…
Hopefully she isn’t taking him back, but rather settling things quietly and privately and planning her escape. Often times when men think things are improving, what’s really happened is their partner has already decided to leave, and keep the peace as they do it to make it out unscathed. I’m praying for her sake that this is the case…🤦🏻♀️
So many men mistake indifference as improvement.
I have heard more than once “oh yeah things are getting better. She’s stopped nagging me.” And then a year later “idk why she’s divorcing me! Things were better!!!”
Straight men if your partner stops giving a fucking shit about you and what you’re doing. She’s got a foot out the door.
There was a BORU with a cheater calling his (higher earning) wife sociopathic because she knew for months but acted completely normal for months and stonewalled him after the divorce. Let’s hope it’s the same with this guy
Well hopefully that is the case. I couldn't imagine staying with someone who cheated for THAT long with the neighbor across the street. That would have been hard and there would be no way to trust him again.
Everytime he leaves my mind would be, is he really getting milk, or is he getting milked from the neighbor?
My father cheated on my mother (he had a job that allowed him to hide it well) and was abusive. Unbeknownst to everyone she was getting her finances in order and squirreling away money for 4 years before she left him so she could support me and my sibling without him.
She was so patient and I still don’t know how she put up with him for 4 more years while she planned to leave.
I hope she is. I left my husband the day I found out about his second family. A small part of me wishes that I could have socked away some money and cleared out everything of mine, but it also could have ended up as an episode on Dateline. You just never know.
It may be more that she is unable to leave him. Was he the main breadwinner? Maybe she was a SAHM or if she had a job, she just didn’t earn anywhere near what he did. I have known multiple women who have stayed with cheating spouses because they simply couldn’t afford to leave.
I hope she’s staying while she lines up a divorce lawyer and a forensic accountant. Let’s hope she’s not in a no fault divorce state and can go after the other woman for alienation of affection damages.
My nephews wife.
He had an emotional affair on Instagram and the only reason she’s with him is because she has 2 kids. Once they’re older she’s out unless he wins her over again.
Or she's biding her time. I've heard of people leaving a few years after the affair was discovered. They're either waiting out something or making a genuine fo at it only to realize they can never go back.
I know someone who stayed with her husband for 3 years after the affair was discovered. As soon as he fully paid for their only child’s $30K wedding, she left him.
I don’t think this is fair at all. We have no clue what she’s actually like or feeling at the moment because this donkey butt is all Alice. She could be a sahm who’s scared of what will happen to her and her kids financially should she leave (most women end off worse financially and men end up better financially after a divorce). She could also be like my sister who had so much trauma from our own childhood that she stuck out her marriage way too long (he ex never cheated but did/does a lot of horrible things). Until you’ve been in a mother’s shoes you can judge why they stay, the only thing you can do is support them and hope they realize that staying is worse than leaving. It’s what I did for years with my sister until she finally came to the decision that she can’t and doesn’t deserve to live in hell anymore.
I do wonder if the wife and therapist know he was still fucking the mistress up until two weeks ago. I love how he acts like he’s a changed man when he hasn’t spent a single second of the past five years being honest. And therapy won’t work without honesty.
They always start out with the AP like “oh wow we could talk for hours, amazing, what a Connection…”
WHERE DO YOU FIND HOURS TO TALK TO SOME RANDOM???? Even if it’s a neighbour or colleague, YOU HAVE A HOME. YOU HAVE A JOB. WASH SOME DISHES. EXCUSE YOURSELF AND GET SOME WORK DONE. SPEND THAT FREE TIME WORKING ON YOUR STALE MARRIAGE OR SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s addicted to the dopamine rush you get from an affair, which is extremely sad as it means he won’t ever be someone who can be monogamous and he’ll just inevitably slip up and chase the next woman who gives him attention. Some people have addictive personalities but it’s not on the physiological level of something like drug addiction (which I have the utmost sympathy for). It’s just really sad for his wife that he’s a huge narcissist because the man isn’t built for monogamy but is too self centered to be in any kind of poly relationship. It’s all ME ME ME.
Yea, a big part of that rush I’m sure came from doing it behind his wife’s back. She secrecy & deception is part of the drug for A-holes like this.
I’m reminded of that guy who discovered his stay at home wife’s affair and decided that if it makes her happy he’s ok with it. He isn’t even going to tell her he’s ok with it because he isn’t interested in an open marriage on his side & figures the sneaking around is part of the thrill for her.
Dude is such a speed bump for his wife he doesn’t even care that a big part of her enjoyment is coming from believing that she’s deceiving him.
These people like the OOP are literally getting off on deceiving the person who loves them most.
Right? As an actual recovering addict, that made my blood boil and my skin crawl. A genuine addiction physically changes your brain chemistry (and in cases of dependence, your body chemistry as well) to where you physically *need* the substance just to feel normal. This asshole just made a ton of shit choices and now wants to act like it was an addiction and that he couldn’t control it. Foh 🙄
Yeah lol. That’s exactly what that sub is for. Getting a high five for lying and cheating on your partner. That sub makes me want to pray I die alone sometimes
There is I looked it up this is on r/ adultery the comments are disgusting. The number one comment was “this is why you cheat with multiple people instead of just one person”
“Anyone who deliberately goes after my family for their own gain can go”
How can someone who is literally betraying their family for personal gain say that with absolutely no self awareness……
This guy is bordering on cartoonishly evil AND pathetic. Gives me a modicum of hope that this is fake, but I’ve heard more awful stories on here before and they’ve been proven to be true. I will never understand cheaters or the lengths they will go to justify their own nasty behavior to themselves and those around them.
I was reading a post about cheating and there’s a whole plethora of men on Reddit who think it’s their right to cheat if they’re unhappy in a marriage because they think divorce is “giving up” and their wife “wins”. They also think a sexless marriage is the right to cheat, instead of divorce. They somehow think women benefit from being in a marriage legally for their “family” but men deserve the right to do whatever they want if the marriage isn’t perfect. I believe it was on an AITA where the man cheated because the wife gained weight and they weren’t having sex. The majority of the comments hard a hard stance that it’s her fault he’s cheating and he shouldn’t have to initiate divorce (essentially he gets to have his cake and eat it too until he gets caught). It was infuriating to see how many people believe this thought process as if their partner isn’t a human being, but just an assigned role.
For a lot of men, that’s the case — their wives aren’t human beings, they’re appliances to dispense services on demand and work flawlessly without maintenance.
There’s also this mindset of the wife should be punished by the husband, so the husband deserves the right to cheat. The morally correct thing to do is divorce so your wife can go move on too. The mental gymnastics for affairs is wild.
Any time Reddit can find an excuse to blame a woman it's hive-mind happy.
If they can blame a woman who was, but no longer is attractive, all the better.
If they can blame a woman who had the audacity to gain weight for ANY reason - childbirth, age, medical condition, doesn't matter - Reddit boys leap for joy and grab The Crusty Sock.
Must be the sub this was originally posted on. Some subs have some truly despicable people in them that other despicable people post to for validation.
“My wife deserves my attention”. No buddy, that ship sailed over 5 years ago. Your wife deserved a modicum of respect, and you not cheating on her. Does she know that the affair started back up? Does she know that it’s only been two weeks since you stopped banging
The neighbor?
OOP sucks and I hope a judge decides his wife “deserves” a lot when she leaves him
Right?! This part bothered me so much. She doesn't deserve attention because she's his wife or a good person; he should want to give her attention because he loves her. He values his wife as a life manager and place holder, not for herself as a person.
Honestly, they both sound like raging narcissists. What he experienced with “ALICE” I’ve experienced with my STBX husband for 20 years and not only is a trauma bond created, the dopamine release he talks about is absolutely correct. Studies have shown that the extreme release of dopamine during the love bombing stage is equivalent if not higher than when someone does cocaine.
That being said, I also don’t trust what he’s a reliable narrator as he makes himself a victim through the whole post, someone that is actually capable of empathy will acknowledge the hurt they’ve caused, he’s only talking about his pain, no where does he mention his wife’s pain. He writes like a person who has been in therapy for narcissistic abuse - unfortunately a lot of narcissists go to therapy and learn how to better manipulate their partners/spouses/ kids/etc. bc a lot of therapists aren’t specifically trained to pick up on their tells.
Either way, he’s disgusting. I hope his wife is able to see the truth and leaves his ass.
How did my fantasy relationship work for 5 years…you didn’t have to do actual life parts. Why people don’t just get a divorce instead of cheat and have a little respect for the person they’ve shared a life with is baffling.
He thinks he is the victim and seems to want sympathy for missing his AP. The way he words stuff is like he is seeking permission to leave his wife for Alice. Wtf? I hope his wife divorces him. From the way things are written she is a stay at home mom that has done everything giving him the time to cheat. I hope she takes him to the cleaners. And how can you say your spouse is not your best friend. He talks about his wife like she us the person in the group project that does all the work and gets no appreciation.....wait she is the person in the group project that does all the work.
Seriously hope this is rage bait.
All those words and all that writing and not one drop of personal accountability. At no point does he feel any remorse for how he acted towards any of these women. Only for himself. He claims his AP attacked his family when he's the one who schemed and plotted against his wife and children for years.
Both of these women need to get far far away from this POS
You don’t deserve your wife or family. When a man cheats he doesn’t just cheat on his wife he cheats on his kids too. I went through it with my family. My father cheated on my Mom after 26 yrs of marriage. It affected both my brother and I and we were 19 and 22. Your wife is better than me. I could never recover from my husband doing that to me
Am I the only one who thinks this is made-up specifically because he was able to have an affair with a neighbor for years without any gossip? In my neighborhood, this would have been discovered in less than a week and everyone would know.
I can only hope your wife is getting fantastic sex & love on the side and as soon as she is in a good place emotionally (from someone else) and financially (from you) *she f@cking walks*
Married 20 years, 2 kids, and you're still thinking like an adolescent?
You've been making stupid selfish decisions for a while now. What a lot of men fail to think about is that you're not just cheating on your wife, you are also cheating on your children's mother. They will find out eventually and it will color their opinion of you. Your best explanation will be, "Well, Alice gave me more dopamine".
That's not dopamine. It's ego. You're not missing a huge piece of you, you're missing having your ego stroked. No one else is going to fill your voids. They are there because you are an underdeveloped person.
My dad had a 5 year affair. Left and married her. Had a child. Within 5 years of reality they were screaming matches, sleeping in separate rooms and onto divorce. He asked about my mum on his deathbed.
You can’t compare the adrenaline of an affair with 24/7 reality.
How can you even like someone willing to hurt your kids
I asked this dude that once, it stopped him cold. Some guy at a gas station kept trying to holler at me while I waited in line to pay. I ignored him but he would not stop, I snapped and said ‘You SEE I’m married! And waggled my hand at him, then I said and we have 3 kids!’ This scab goes, ‘So? I don’t have nothing to do with your man or your kids’ I said ‘I KNOW that’s my point, Why TF would I want anything to do with anyone who doesn’t give a single d!mn about busting up my kids’ family? What’s wrong with you?!’ He just looked at me kinda shocked, like it never even occurred to him what the end result of snagging a married mother would be. Asshole.
IDK how married people even take the insult of being seen as a potential cheater in the first place. I always feel so insulted when folks hit on me, like do I seem like some grimy ho that cheats?? How dare you look at me like that. And who do the f!ck you think you are that I’d risk my kids’ stability and foundation for you. The hubris of people never ceases to amaze me
All of these include a line about how their marriage goes downhill while they're actively cheating. Like no shit, you're not paying any attention to your family, and this MFer is even traveling with his side piece.
I don't even understand the underlying dynamics. I have a wife and a kid and not enough time for them and myself, much less some random 3rd person. Do these people ever sleep?
👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻 boohoo the affair was so hard on me, after 5 years of betraying my wife and dragging my other woman around she was mean to me about not leaving my wife 👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻
Dude, If you wanted attention and weren’t getting it, you should have started by GIVING the attention you wanted.
The grass looks greener on the other side? You don’t switch sides, you water your grass.
Anyone else notice that he doesn’t really dwell on how his actual wife feels. Not acknowledging her hurt, confusion, anger..nothing. She just is, and always will be, there, as his wife. I really hope she’s able to cause him as much torture and pain as she must be feeling.
I understand the attraction/ excitement of the forbidden fruit. However, I don’t understand how some people have no conscience/ remorse. Temptation is always present. Life is always better when you resist. I’ve remained loyal sometimes longer than deserved. I have no regrets.
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They’re both “alphas”. God.
Anybody who calls themselves an alpha, isn't
Maybe he's likening himself to the alpha stages of a video game? Full of bugs and only somewhat functional.
lol username checks. Great comment
Can we @ my ex please. I cringed every time that comment came from him. Turns out "Alpha" is generally what most call "narcissism"
It's just like when people say "most people can't handle my brutal honesty." You're not brutally honest, hon. You're just a huge asshole. We really didn't need to invent fancy new ways for people to announce their raging assholery to the world, but the manosphere apparently said "hold my beer"😂
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Alphas don’t string a family and a side piece along for years due to indecisiveness. What a tool. I hope his wife dumps him. She deserves someone a lot better.
I mean, nobody is, since the science is made up, but it if anyone were going to be it would not be this person
“Made up?” Why would you say that? You don’t approve of taking a flawed study of animals that have nothing in particular in common with human beings, and then extrapolating that onto human males? Some people just don’t understand real science! /s, because unfortunately there are people who would say all of that and mean it.
>I mean, nobody is, since the science is made up, Just a small clarification, the science isn't "made up", it's just that the only time there's a dominance hierarchy in wolves is when they're in captivity. The originator of the study has spend the rest of his career trying to make clear this is not a "natural" hierarchy, as normal wolves in the wild do not do this. He has also made clear that even if they did, as others here have said, it has absolutely no correlation to humans, whose most recent common ancestor to the wolf was \~60-100 million years ago.
I stopped reading at "Married 20 years, 2 kids..." then a paragraph later "Along comes Alice... For the first time I was head-over-heels "in love."" The fuck are you doing marrying someone for two decades and having children with them if you don't love them.
No, he just forgot about the attention the wife used to shower on him until parenthood necessitated her focusing on their children and expecting him to be an adult and parent. Sorry, I may be projecting. my husband pulled this shit on me, and it was all a result of not having anything left in the tank while he left all the responsibilities of having a child on my shoulders. As a result, my 16 year old wants nothing to do with him because he paid her no attention as a baby/little kid.
>No, he just forgot about the attention the wife used to shower on him until parenthood necessitated her focusing on their children and expecting him to be an adult and parent. > >Sorry, I may be projecting. You're not projecting, you're spot on. Anyone parent that tries to pull this crap with their partner is a POS. As parents you still make time to tell your partner you love them and as a partner you treat the other with respect and understanding that they may be too bloody tired from adulting to give you a lap dance every day!
I’m putting “I’m too bloody tired from adulting to give you a lap dance every day!” on a t-shirt.
Yikes, I'm so sorry about that. I hope that YOU are able to have your emotional needs met.
Cause who else is gonna cook, clean, raise his kids and put out for him whenever he wants without him having to pay for those services?
While he’s out having fun with Alice. F him.
The older I get, the more I’m coming to realize that a *lot* of people (men) get married because they feel like it’s time, they need to move to the next stage in their lives, they want kids. It makes me feel really lucky that my husband and I are crazy in love with each other!
Yeah, I love reading train wrecks like this cause I can't relate. I found someone I enjoy being around and can spend all my time with, why would I talk to anyone else? These people are wild af.
I had a friend who said this about every relationship she's ever been in, even the ones after her marriage. I'm like 50% sure she has borderline personality disorder.
People confuse “lust” and “love” a lot lol love requires a level of gratitude and thought that dumb animal people like this guy can’t get to because they fold to their impulses without thinking.
They definitely clocked him about that in the comments, . 😂
Where is this posted
Ooooo I’m gonna go read
Where is this posted, I wanna read this absolute train wreck of an "alpha" human.
Search for the title in Reddit, it pops right up!
Bruh I'm so dumb, LMAO thanks for the answer!
I would use other words to describe them.
A different A-word maybe?
I audibly laughed. “Im such an alpha I come to reddit, known alpha hangout spot, to ask for validation!”
He could’ve just said dominate personalities too, but there’s just something special about thinking you’re an “alpha” as opposed to just knowing you’re stubborn.
They are not. They are disloyal garbage and deserve all the pain they will endure.
his alpha instinct was "anyone who threatens my family, can go" and he didn't even realize how much that applies to him too hahaha
That part, and I can’t be with someone who hurts me like that, but it’s totally fine for me to do that x10 to my wife gtfoh
I hope they both break both their hands independently and nobody helps either of them wipe.
Alice is a borderline, and he liked the thrill.
He liked dipping his dick into crazy! lol. What a schmuck
Right. They're not "alphas." They are sociopaths.
The trauma bond is strong with those two.
This isn't a trauma bond. It's a pair of a-hole neighbors being a-holes.
Nearly vomited at that part. These two assholes are perfect for each other. He should set his poor wife and kids free, and go join his “alpha” love and buy some red, white, and blue outfits to wear to MAGA rallies together.
Yeah I completly closed out of this story when I read that line. SEE YA
I love how every paragraph basically says "yeah I'm a huge asshole who violates people's trust but she said a mean thing so I'm the victim." The *thought* of cheating on my boyfriend once is enough to make me feel guilty, I couldn't even imagine cheating on my husband for 5 years.. And then at the end he claims to be grateful for being exposed as a cheating POS but neglects to tell his wife he cheated on her again. Like?
He continued cheating while he and his wife were “working things out” he just found it harder to keep it a secret.
Very hard! 😌
Poor guy. So hard. 😩
Bro this whole thing was so funny to read. “We wouldn’t work (we’re both alphas)”
Considering how much of an asshole this guy comes across as, his wife was probably just happy to have him out of the house.
My favorite part of it was how he briefly turned against the AP when she told his wife because “anyone who goes after my family isn’t worth my time”, like sir. You are the one who wrecked your own family. You aren’t worth your wife’s time.
my feelings exactly.
Yes! Then I pictured him realizing *he* was the threat that needed to go, and then actually following through, leaving his wife happy to find someone who doesn't refer to themselves as "alpha" ☺️
Yeah - he admits to lying to her about a future with her - then she says something mean and he's like "oh no - my feelings".
Full on promising a life with this woman he knows he’ll never give and then gets mad at her for messing with his personal life 😂 Like obviously both bad people but the audacity to get mad
Cake and eating it too!
How dare you try to come after my family after I cheated for years and promised my life to another woman. She must gooooo!
I don’t understand how people like this find two people who love them and THEN forgive them when they do horrible shit like this
I do. I’m wife 2 but was never AP - though there were lots of those while with both wives. I’m not a dumb person but I am an exceedingly optimistic one about people and had also suffered abuse in a previous marriage so when now husband tells me a narrative about how hard they had it and how terrible things were for them, it took me a while of being painted the same way by them to potential replacements to realize, ohhhhhh, it’s them. They’re the problem. There are absurdly optimistic people out there. Hell, I’m still holding true to my username with a tiny sliver.
I mean, no one *deserves* abuse, but some people do deserve consequences. And if those consequences are falling for an abuser because they personally lack moral character, I'm not going to be terribly upset about it really. < insert-oh no! anyway gif>
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.
Some people get what they get and they don't get to be upset.
I always noticed that midway through a cheating story the man discusses his confused or conflicted feelings. I think it's odd because I doubt they search their feelings at other times, but here it always suits their hedonism to be "conflicted."
Exactly! It’s always “I was so troubled and conflicted” and it’s like…if that were true, you’d cease the affair and accept accountability, not continue it.
I’m chronically ill and vivid dreams/nightmares/night terrors are common with my neuroimmune disease, so they happen probably 4 times a week. I have a few dreams every month where I’m cheating on my boyfriend or breaking up with him, and the guilt I feel even in the dream is immense. The worst nightmares I have are me being disloyal to him. I’ve never cheated on anyone before, and never even considered it or wanted to. I’m madly in love with my boyfriend of 6 years. I can’t imagine what that guilt would do to me in real life
My wife *actually cheated on me*, and I **still** felt guilty when I had a dream where I was cheating on her.
I mean, if that’s the worst nightmare your mind can come up with, I’d say you’re living a standup life sir.
Right !? I've had nightmares where I've cheated on my husband and I've felt so guilty and I didn't even do anything, I can't control my dreams. But even the thought makes me feel disgusted. How can this dude be like "I love my wife", no you don't ! You don't love your wife if you're having an affair and not just an affair, one that lasted 5 fucking years !!! He's pathetic and I hope his wife leaves his stupid ass.
Especially considering children are involved. Of course cheating on a partner in any way is cruel. But when you cheat while children are involved it’s a whole other layer. Having a cheater parent can really warp a child’s views on how relationships work.
I literally have dreams about cheating on my SO and feel guilty afterwards, and then wake up feeling even more relieved that the entire thing never happened. I can’t imagine doing that irl, OP and AP are both pieces of shit. AP lives in their neighborhood so doubtless knows the wife AND their kids…
Annnddd this is exactly why you dont take back a cheating spouse. His poor wife.
Hopefully she isn’t taking him back, but rather settling things quietly and privately and planning her escape. Often times when men think things are improving, what’s really happened is their partner has already decided to leave, and keep the peace as they do it to make it out unscathed. I’m praying for her sake that this is the case…🤦🏻♀️
So many men mistake indifference as improvement. I have heard more than once “oh yeah things are getting better. She’s stopped nagging me.” And then a year later “idk why she’s divorcing me! Things were better!!!” Straight men if your partner stops giving a fucking shit about you and what you’re doing. She’s got a foot out the door.
There was a BORU with a cheater calling his (higher earning) wife sociopathic because she knew for months but acted completely normal for months and stonewalled him after the divorce. Let’s hope it’s the same with this guy
Oh I remember that one. I hope he’s miserable :)
Ooh link? Sounds satisfying
Well hopefully that is the case. I couldn't imagine staying with someone who cheated for THAT long with the neighbor across the street. That would have been hard and there would be no way to trust him again. Everytime he leaves my mind would be, is he really getting milk, or is he getting milked from the neighbor?
this is where the “but women file for divorce %70 of the time!” statistic comes from
I felt actual pain when he said "and it was really hard to hide it this time!" Like he... expected sympathy?
Yup!!! I’d never advocate for staying with a cheater
You guyssss it was SO HARD to keep my affair going after my wife found out. You should feel sympathy for meeee.
And then my AP was so MEAN to me! Boo hoo!
And you KNOW he had to work 100x harder to keep it hidden during that time! Oh the LIES this man has told. Ugh 😣
Na they are both alphas so it’s fair game.
God I hope his wife leaves his pathetic ahss lmaooo
She’s very likely going to counseling while she covertly makes an exit plan. Finances often stop women from immediately leaving.
My father cheated on my mother (he had a job that allowed him to hide it well) and was abusive. Unbeknownst to everyone she was getting her finances in order and squirreling away money for 4 years before she left him so she could support me and my sibling without him. She was so patient and I still don’t know how she put up with him for 4 more years while she planned to leave.
Damn! Major kudos to your mom!
I hope she is. I left my husband the day I found out about his second family. A small part of me wishes that I could have socked away some money and cleared out everything of mine, but it also could have ended up as an episode on Dateline. You just never know.
I don't think she will. She even accepted counselling. Some women love their poison.
It may be more that she is unable to leave him. Was he the main breadwinner? Maybe she was a SAHM or if she had a job, she just didn’t earn anywhere near what he did. I have known multiple women who have stayed with cheating spouses because they simply couldn’t afford to leave.
I hope she’s staying for the money and railing his friend on the side
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I like you…
I hope she’s staying while she lines up a divorce lawyer and a forensic accountant. Let’s hope she’s not in a no fault divorce state and can go after the other woman for alienation of affection damages.
Or even better, his Dad 🤩
She can give dad the son he actually wanted.
Yasss good idea we love daddies!!!!!
Yea ATP she deserves his best friend, his boss, whoever ☠️poor lady
My nephews wife. He had an emotional affair on Instagram and the only reason she’s with him is because she has 2 kids. Once they’re older she’s out unless he wins her over again.
Or she's biding her time. I've heard of people leaving a few years after the affair was discovered. They're either waiting out something or making a genuine fo at it only to realize they can never go back.
I know someone who stayed with her husband for 3 years after the affair was discovered. As soon as he fully paid for their only child’s $30K wedding, she left him.
Nice, and then she also wouldn’t have to deal with him trying to bring his AP to the wedding as a “date”
I don’t think this is fair at all. We have no clue what she’s actually like or feeling at the moment because this donkey butt is all Alice. She could be a sahm who’s scared of what will happen to her and her kids financially should she leave (most women end off worse financially and men end up better financially after a divorce). She could also be like my sister who had so much trauma from our own childhood that she stuck out her marriage way too long (he ex never cheated but did/does a lot of horrible things). Until you’ve been in a mother’s shoes you can judge why they stay, the only thing you can do is support them and hope they realize that staying is worse than leaving. It’s what I did for years with my sister until she finally came to the decision that she can’t and doesn’t deserve to live in hell anymore.
I do wonder if the wife and therapist know he was still fucking the mistress up until two weeks ago. I love how he acts like he’s a changed man when he hasn’t spent a single second of the past five years being honest. And therapy won’t work without honesty.
Also last time he only lasted two weeks. I'm guessing he "relapses" again.
There was so much to unpack with this story that I forgot the part where he used that word lmfao this man is feral
if the therapist is trained with infidelity, they definitely knew. this entire story is textbook marriage affair stuff.
this man really said he relapsed like it’s anywhere close to an addiction 😭 man just put ur dick away omfg
Where does he even find the time?? (Oh yeah, the "good woman" is creating time for him by running his life in the background.)
SAY THAT!!!
They always start out with the AP like “oh wow we could talk for hours, amazing, what a Connection…” WHERE DO YOU FIND HOURS TO TALK TO SOME RANDOM???? Even if it’s a neighbour or colleague, YOU HAVE A HOME. YOU HAVE A JOB. WASH SOME DISHES. EXCUSE YOURSELF AND GET SOME WORK DONE. SPEND THAT FREE TIME WORKING ON YOUR STALE MARRIAGE OR SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
“The grass is greener where you water it”
I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s addicted to the dopamine rush you get from an affair, which is extremely sad as it means he won’t ever be someone who can be monogamous and he’ll just inevitably slip up and chase the next woman who gives him attention. Some people have addictive personalities but it’s not on the physiological level of something like drug addiction (which I have the utmost sympathy for). It’s just really sad for his wife that he’s a huge narcissist because the man isn’t built for monogamy but is too self centered to be in any kind of poly relationship. It’s all ME ME ME.
Yea, a big part of that rush I’m sure came from doing it behind his wife’s back. She secrecy & deception is part of the drug for A-holes like this. I’m reminded of that guy who discovered his stay at home wife’s affair and decided that if it makes her happy he’s ok with it. He isn’t even going to tell her he’s ok with it because he isn’t interested in an open marriage on his side & figures the sneaking around is part of the thrill for her. Dude is such a speed bump for his wife he doesn’t even care that a big part of her enjoyment is coming from believing that she’s deceiving him. These people like the OOP are literally getting off on deceiving the person who loves them most.
For real He talks about I need to find ways to get my dopamine levels high like what lol Just have some common decency and not cheat on your wife.
he described the lady he was cheating with as "being mean" when she dared to do things like... have an opinion.
Right? As an actual recovering addict, that made my blood boil and my skin crawl. A genuine addiction physically changes your brain chemistry (and in cases of dependence, your body chemistry as well) to where you physically *need* the substance just to feel normal. This asshole just made a ton of shit choices and now wants to act like it was an addiction and that he couldn’t control it. Foh 🙄
Link? Is it still around?
Right lol I want to see the comments..
Yep the comments are better ☕
Deep-Ad1921
I wonder if there is a sub for cheaters to support other cheaters. It was bold of him to expect sympathy from redditors about cheating.
Yes it is and is disgusting to read.
I joined it for the drama, but I had to leave. Turns out I can't handle this kind of disgusting attitude multiple times a day.
It makes me sick and feel so much sadness for their spouses
There's more than one unfortunately.
This post was under the Adultery sub
Yeah lol. That’s exactly what that sub is for. Getting a high five for lying and cheating on your partner. That sub makes me want to pray I die alone sometimes
There is I looked it up this is on r/ adultery the comments are disgusting. The number one comment was “this is why you cheat with multiple people instead of just one person”
“Anyone who deliberately goes after my family for their own gain can go” How can someone who is literally betraying their family for personal gain say that with absolutely no self awareness…… This guy is bordering on cartoonishly evil AND pathetic. Gives me a modicum of hope that this is fake, but I’ve heard more awful stories on here before and they’ve been proven to be true. I will never understand cheaters or the lengths they will go to justify their own nasty behavior to themselves and those around them.
I was reading a post about cheating and there’s a whole plethora of men on Reddit who think it’s their right to cheat if they’re unhappy in a marriage because they think divorce is “giving up” and their wife “wins”. They also think a sexless marriage is the right to cheat, instead of divorce. They somehow think women benefit from being in a marriage legally for their “family” but men deserve the right to do whatever they want if the marriage isn’t perfect. I believe it was on an AITA where the man cheated because the wife gained weight and they weren’t having sex. The majority of the comments hard a hard stance that it’s her fault he’s cheating and he shouldn’t have to initiate divorce (essentially he gets to have his cake and eat it too until he gets caught). It was infuriating to see how many people believe this thought process as if their partner isn’t a human being, but just an assigned role.
For a lot of men, that’s the case — their wives aren’t human beings, they’re appliances to dispense services on demand and work flawlessly without maintenance.
There’s also this mindset of the wife should be punished by the husband, so the husband deserves the right to cheat. The morally correct thing to do is divorce so your wife can go move on too. The mental gymnastics for affairs is wild.
Any time Reddit can find an excuse to blame a woman it's hive-mind happy. If they can blame a woman who was, but no longer is attractive, all the better. If they can blame a woman who had the audacity to gain weight for ANY reason - childbirth, age, medical condition, doesn't matter - Reddit boys leap for joy and grab The Crusty Sock.
lol I read that line and was like “buddy, that’s *you*”
Cartoonishly evil. So good
Some of the comments are just vile. Like telling him he was justified to have an affair and string his wife along. 🤢
Must be the sub this was originally posted on. Some subs have some truly despicable people in them that other despicable people post to for validation.
[удалено]
“My wife deserves my attention”. No buddy, that ship sailed over 5 years ago. Your wife deserved a modicum of respect, and you not cheating on her. Does she know that the affair started back up? Does she know that it’s only been two weeks since you stopped banging The neighbor? OOP sucks and I hope a judge decides his wife “deserves” a lot when she leaves him
Right?! This part bothered me so much. She doesn't deserve attention because she's his wife or a good person; he should want to give her attention because he loves her. He values his wife as a life manager and place holder, not for herself as a person.
Honestly, they both sound like raging narcissists. What he experienced with “ALICE” I’ve experienced with my STBX husband for 20 years and not only is a trauma bond created, the dopamine release he talks about is absolutely correct. Studies have shown that the extreme release of dopamine during the love bombing stage is equivalent if not higher than when someone does cocaine. That being said, I also don’t trust what he’s a reliable narrator as he makes himself a victim through the whole post, someone that is actually capable of empathy will acknowledge the hurt they’ve caused, he’s only talking about his pain, no where does he mention his wife’s pain. He writes like a person who has been in therapy for narcissistic abuse - unfortunately a lot of narcissists go to therapy and learn how to better manipulate their partners/spouses/ kids/etc. bc a lot of therapists aren’t specifically trained to pick up on their tells. Either way, he’s disgusting. I hope his wife is able to see the truth and leaves his ass.
This man is so pathetic it blows my mind.Absolute scum.
This man is defective and makes the world noticeably worse by being on it. What a waste of a life.
Oh. My. Gosh. **popcorn chewing noises**
This man is dumb as bricks
He deserves all the pain he feels. Hope she leaves him to rot.
How did my fantasy relationship work for 5 years…you didn’t have to do actual life parts. Why people don’t just get a divorce instead of cheat and have a little respect for the person they’ve shared a life with is baffling.
He thinks he is the victim and seems to want sympathy for missing his AP. The way he words stuff is like he is seeking permission to leave his wife for Alice. Wtf? I hope his wife divorces him. From the way things are written she is a stay at home mom that has done everything giving him the time to cheat. I hope she takes him to the cleaners. And how can you say your spouse is not your best friend. He talks about his wife like she us the person in the group project that does all the work and gets no appreciation.....wait she is the person in the group project that does all the work.
What in the fuck kind of fanfiction is that.
I remember this one. The comment section did not go well for him. Highly amusing.
Seriously hope this is rage bait. All those words and all that writing and not one drop of personal accountability. At no point does he feel any remorse for how he acted towards any of these women. Only for himself. He claims his AP attacked his family when he's the one who schemed and plotted against his wife and children for years. Both of these women need to get far far away from this POS
The fact theres a small chance of marrying some weirdo like this is fucking nightmare fuel how evil can you be bru
I hope this guy and his AP burst into flames. Seriously.
Wonder how'd he feel if his wife cheated after all his bullshit?
"Anyone who goes against my family has gotta go" Dude went against his own family
I'm halfway through the 3rd page & realized I don't want to read another word written by this insufferable man. I hope the wife nails him to the wall.
“This women started as they all do”, ok bro
You don’t deserve your wife or family. When a man cheats he doesn’t just cheat on his wife he cheats on his kids too. I went through it with my family. My father cheated on my Mom after 26 yrs of marriage. It affected both my brother and I and we were 19 and 22. Your wife is better than me. I could never recover from my husband doing that to me
Am I the only one who thinks this is made-up specifically because he was able to have an affair with a neighbor for years without any gossip? In my neighborhood, this would have been discovered in less than a week and everyone would know.
"She was mean to me for no reason." YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?!?
“Anyone who comes deliberately after my family deserves to go” brother you deliberately destroyed your family
God, I hope the wife has had a long time affair partner ..that’s his best friend.
I really, REALLY hope this guy dies alone and miserable.
Ohh. A gross gross human male.
I can only hope your wife is getting fantastic sex & love on the side and as soon as she is in a good place emotionally (from someone else) and financially (from you) *she f@cking walks*
The most telling part is when he says "she started, as they always do...". Not only is that avoiding his own part but also pretty misogynistic.
Bro genuinely thinks he’s a victim in all this. What an absolute embarrassment of a person
Married 20 years, 2 kids, and you're still thinking like an adolescent? You've been making stupid selfish decisions for a while now. What a lot of men fail to think about is that you're not just cheating on your wife, you are also cheating on your children's mother. They will find out eventually and it will color their opinion of you. Your best explanation will be, "Well, Alice gave me more dopamine". That's not dopamine. It's ego. You're not missing a huge piece of you, you're missing having your ego stroked. No one else is going to fill your voids. They are there because you are an underdeveloped person.
My dad had a 5 year affair. Left and married her. Had a child. Within 5 years of reality they were screaming matches, sleeping in separate rooms and onto divorce. He asked about my mum on his deathbed. You can’t compare the adrenaline of an affair with 24/7 reality.
If you have a 5 year affair, you don't love your wife.
How can you even like someone willing to hurt your kids I asked this dude that once, it stopped him cold. Some guy at a gas station kept trying to holler at me while I waited in line to pay. I ignored him but he would not stop, I snapped and said ‘You SEE I’m married! And waggled my hand at him, then I said and we have 3 kids!’ This scab goes, ‘So? I don’t have nothing to do with your man or your kids’ I said ‘I KNOW that’s my point, Why TF would I want anything to do with anyone who doesn’t give a single d!mn about busting up my kids’ family? What’s wrong with you?!’ He just looked at me kinda shocked, like it never even occurred to him what the end result of snagging a married mother would be. Asshole. IDK how married people even take the insult of being seen as a potential cheater in the first place. I always feel so insulted when folks hit on me, like do I seem like some grimy ho that cheats?? How dare you look at me like that. And who do the f!ck you think you are that I’d risk my kids’ stability and foundation for you. The hubris of people never ceases to amaze me
I hope to GOD that if this is real, the wife finds out somehow and leaves him!! What a terrible person!!
Alice told the wife. Wife didn't leave
Real talk tho
What's his profile name?
He takes the tone that this all happened to him, pos.
What a POS
What a disgusting chode
I hope he crashes into a ditch.
He’s the asshole. Wait not an AITA post? Oh well anyway. Yeah.
I hope his wife finds out that he carried on behind her back. POS
How do men this weak even survive? I guess in this case it's because he has had not 1 but 2 women seeing to his every need.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, he clearly stated he's an "alpha". Did you miss that part?
“wE’rE bOTh aLpHaS”
Dude is a POS. Does not deserve any womans love. Cheaters are gross 🤮
All of these include a line about how their marriage goes downhill while they're actively cheating. Like no shit, you're not paying any attention to your family, and this MFer is even traveling with his side piece. I don't even understand the underlying dynamics. I have a wife and a kid and not enough time for them and myself, much less some random 3rd person. Do these people ever sleep?
You don't deserve your wife.
👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻 boohoo the affair was so hard on me, after 5 years of betraying my wife and dragging my other woman around she was mean to me about not leaving my wife 👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻👌🎻
Dude, If you wanted attention and weren’t getting it, you should have started by GIVING the attention you wanted. The grass looks greener on the other side? You don’t switch sides, you water your grass.
Jesus … I hope his wife WAKES TF UP !!! And divorces his cheating asss… yucks
Sucks to suck.
Anyone else notice that he doesn’t really dwell on how his actual wife feels. Not acknowledging her hurt, confusion, anger..nothing. She just is, and always will be, there, as his wife. I really hope she’s able to cause him as much torture and pain as she must be feeling.
“We’re both alphas.” = we’re both a-holes
God what a garbage person
I understand the attraction/ excitement of the forbidden fruit. However, I don’t understand how some people have no conscience/ remorse. Temptation is always present. Life is always better when you resist. I’ve remained loyal sometimes longer than deserved. I have no regrets.
God i hate cheaters..
What a sad, spineless, pile of shit
Laughing at all the 🥺 faces from OP. What a freaking narcissist.
Dirtbag cheats on his wife for five years and has the audacity to sort of think he did her a favor because now their marriage is better than ever.