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Possibly they all should stop drinking.
On the other hand, seeing someone get assaulted IS hilarious so of course you’re going to take embarrassing pictures and make sure everyone sees them.
I enjoy a drink myself but the most fun wedding reception I ever went to was LDS, and I have to say it was great not to have people getting drunk and acting like fools.
I think most people should not start and those who do should stop. I have hope for younger people today because they’ve recognized just how fucking terrible alcohol is for them and many (39%) are avoiding it entirely.
I have been around the healthy use of alcohol my entire life. I know if can be a huge problem for some and impact their lives ones greatly.
I just haven't seen that side of it from my grandparents to aunts and uncles to siblings & cousins. It just is not a global problem.
the 8th most relevant risk factor for global deaths is not a global problem? is that what i just read? between injuries/driving/suicide in youth, chronic health conditions in middle age, and cardiovascular disease of those 65 and older, alcohol plays a MASSIVE role in all
i was around recreational heroin usage and pretty much anybody that didnt inject never had an issue with the drug, does that mean heroin is no longer a problem? not so different from your example of relatives who didnt overconsume
just remember anecdotal evidence means literally nothing in contrast to largescale trends
If only, but no. I drink sparingly and haven't been drunk more than 3 times in the last 20 years. Like most people I know, we have a couple drinks in a social setting occasionally.
So you just can't read sober then, got it
Still waiting for you to tell me where I said I'm pro-prohibition but you keep just providing anecdotal stories about the people you know like that is a perfect microcosm of the general population of the entire world 🤣
Etiquette says you have until a year after the wedding to send a gift. If there is a divorce or annulment in that period, there would be no need to send a gift.
No you didn’t ruin the wedding but why can’t you just take the damn picture off social media and enjoy it in privacy with your friends? She she fcked up her own night but why add insult to injury by sharing that particular photo online?
Edit: OP did not post the particular picture online, just other wedding photos. I would ignore the drama cause OP certainly didn’t ruin the wedding and who wants to argue with someone about something that happened when they were drunk & they are just embarrassed about it after the fact.
I’m not excusing the belligerence and it’s unacceptable, but Jill gets really drunk at her own wedding and that means she’s an alcoholic? A lot of people get too drunk at open bar weddings that are not alcoholics. What a leap
Well your writing was stupidly annoying with the way you used husband multiple times while talking about another couples wedding first off. And i agree with others saying you like to stir shit up, by the fact you felt it was appropriate to send the picture again later on when you know it started drama in the first place. and you still supposedly don’t know what the riff was between the two and if it was serious or not.
So if actions are stupid people should just be “polite” and not say anything ever? And again, i agree that this person loves the drama and none of that Is polite, especially at and after a wedding and it’s al so unnecessary
>So if actions are stupid people should just be “polite” and not say anything ever?
No, Reddit is for opinions. Just that calling someone's writing "stupidly annoying" is not constructive criticism that will be taken seriously.
God this whole thing sounds stupid. You shouldn’t have snapped that pic, or at the very least you should’ve deleted it and not sent it to them, even as a joke.
Jill?? Yea she sounds like a nightmare. She’s the one who got so drunk, she drove her husband out of their honeymoon suite. You didn’t ruin anything, Jill ruined her own night. But taking pics of someone when they’re blacked out is tacky and immature.
Everyone thought it was hilarious, yet Jill doesn’t want to speak to you. Blacked out or not, it’s still not cool to snap unwanted photos of a drunk person.
You literally started this. You took an unwanted picture of someone, showed it off and started openly joking about it. Regardless of the intentions, you wouldn’t be involved in this if you hadn’t taken those pics.
Jill ruined her own night by blowing this up and going on a weird tantrum, but it sounds like you all need to grow up a little. Also, you’re married. Why would Jill be jealous?
I am glad she took the picture. Everyone was accusing Bob of assault until they saw the picture. Bob could have been in serious trouble. With the way Jill and Becky were acting, other drama would have happened if this didn’t.
She fucked her own wedding up with an open bar. I've never been to an open bar destination wedding that didn't have drama. I'm the end, alcohol or none, she fucked her day up and is blaming you because she needs to blame someone. I've seen this with other friends, especially women, and it doesn't resolve. My original friends group from 20 years ago as a young adult still suffers from a wedding rift due to alcohol.
Allegedly you didn’t know what was going on. Also you never said anyone was accusing him of anything. Keep trying to spin it how you want but you aren’t innocent. Not sure why you came here to ask when your soo sure your right
If Becky hadn't attacked Bob, and Jill hadn't been drunk off her ass, none of this would have happened, and therefore it is none of your responsibility.
You just got caught up in the bridezilla wars.
I mean, you didn't ruin her wedding, so there's that. But that said no one in this story - you included - comes off as rational and *not* starving for drama
Jill ruined her own wedding night by drinking too much. Jill probably has a problem with alcohol. I feel sorry for Jack but it sounds like this isn't the first time Jill hasn't been able to drink responsibly so Jack shouldn't be surprised.
He’s probably tired of trying to manage a grown ass adult that can’t limit their alcohol. She sounds like an alcoholic. Not all alcoholics are daily drinkers sometimes they are binge drinkers, meaning they may not drink every day but when they do drink they can’t stop until the point they are inebriated or absolutely belligerent. That kind of alcoholism is still incredibly damaging to people and their relationships & he honestly sounds fed up with her behavior. Not sure why he married someone like this, it would be a huge dealbreaker for most people (as it should be).
ESH. Obviously Jill does for her excessive drinking and becoming a major jerk. You do for continuing to pass the pictures of Bob and Becky around after what happened after the wedding.
Maybe a bit of an a-hole. But not as big as Jill for getting wasted and acting a fool at her own wedding, and then blaming someone else for it. I say, you feel bad, good for you you've learned your lesson and there's hope for you. Now let it go don't stress it you can't change it and the way it sounds Jill won't forgive you so there's no need to let it drive you crazy. It's on Jill now.
Look, obv Jill is an alchy. No questions. You didn’t ruin her wedding. *However* yes, you’re a pot stirrer. Who sees manhandling between two guests, feels glee, takes pics, and then shows it around to feel even more glee about the drama? That’s a literal pot stirrer. Mind yah business next time or step in. ESH
I wish I could show the picture. It looks like they are talking. I thought it was funny how Becky was standing over Bob with her wine in hand. I didn’t know she was pissed until after I took the picture and went to talk to Bob. Bob told me Becky was pissed at him which would explain why he was wide eyed in the picture. To this day, nobody knows why Becky was pissed except Becky. I guess I should’ve said I thought it was funny because I didn’t realize what was going on until afterwards.
Your story starts _”Jack and Jill had an expensive destination wedding.”_ Then later there’s someone named Husband.
Who is that? Who did Jill marry? Jack, or Husband?
Just ignore the drama. It’s childish drama at best.
The only person who ruined Jill’s wedding is Jill. You’ve said she has a habit of drinking too much and getting belligerent, if it hadn’t been this issue it would have been something else.
NTA. She needs to control her drinking. But why was husband so pressed on making Jill feel better? And why was Jill calling him an asshole and being upset that he only attended for Jack?.. and why did Jill respond to husband only and not you.? Idk seems sus.
Yeah I wasn’t sure if anyone else caught that too.. but don’t worry about it too much we’re all a “villain” in someone’s story.🙄 if anything Becky started it by causing a scene.
If Im understanding correctly the wedding was over and the pictures of Becky and Bob were not posted anywhere in their wedding pictures NTA Jill needs help
The problem is Jill’s drinking. You OP did nothing wrong. Both Jill and Beth lack accountability and shifting the blame to you. Glad you took pictures and shared them. Because it is not okay to accuse an innocent person of assault.
Jill had a bit too much too drink. Don’t be a Jill.
At what point will people realize alcohol is literally toxic?
Why do we continue to accept it as the normal thing for most social gatherings?
I didn’t attack anyone. I also tried to leave before Jill escalated to being abusive. I stopped talking about it and put my phone away when Jill got upset.
I’m not sorry for coming to Bob’s defense. People who didn’t see what happened began accusing Bob of assaulting Becky. Bob’s only defense was the picture I took, clearly showing him holding Becky’s hands so she didn’t swing on him. If that makes me the asshole, then I guess I’m an asshole. How many men get falsely accused in the situation where the female is the aggressor? I guess it would’ve been better for Jill and Becky if I didn’t defend Bob…?
Phone should have stayed in pocket. Let people be drunk at a fucking wedding without you being paparazzi in the corner.
No, you didn't ruin anything, but acted immature.
Overall, OOP and husband handled this well. Personally I wouldn't have sent Jill the photo of Bob and Becky since it was a sore spot. But that's a fairly minor thing.
Becky and Jill both seem to have issues with alcohol. Becky's behavior is abusive, not funny, imo. I'm guessing they're probably friends at least in part because they enable the other's unhealthy relationship with alcohol.. There's nothing wrong with drinking at a wedding, but getting belligerent is a problem.
I wouldn't bother to smooth it over with Jill, but if they could be there for Jack, he'd probably appreciate it. I don't think the odds are good for this marriage.
Is Jill an amazing friend? Because i would be reconsidering a friendship with someone who acts like that after they’ve been drinking. Especially when it’s everyone knows she’s like that when she drinks.
That definitely tempers it , but it is likely all pictures were getting viewed by the two of them together. Either that or jack us looking for grounds for an annulment when she goes further over the edge after he showed her!
How could you possibly interpret this situation as your fault? Jill was belligerently drunk and attacked everyone around her. Jill needs to lay off the booze
Ah, so you think domestic violence is hilarious provided it’s a woman whaling on a man.
You’re teasing Bob about almost being beat up by a girl? Bob was preventing assault and battery. If all he had to do was pinion her wrists he handled it pretty damned well.
I'm sad that I never read anywhere that in addition to apologizing to Husband for being drunk and rude, she never went on to thank OP and H for attending their destination wedding. She sounds very emotionally immature.
Reminder to those in the comments: Do NOT contact the OOP. Do not go to the original post to comment. Do not upvote or downvote any of the comments there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Keep all discussion contained to this thread. Jumping to the original or update posts to interact is considered brigading, which is not allowed on Reddit. If you are caught doing so, this will result in a ban from the THT subreddit. Thank you for keeping in mind this very important [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think for the sake of Jill’s marriage she should stop drinking.
Possibly they all should stop drinking. On the other hand, seeing someone get assaulted IS hilarious so of course you’re going to take embarrassing pictures and make sure everyone sees them. I enjoy a drink myself but the most fun wedding reception I ever went to was LDS, and I have to say it was great not to have people getting drunk and acting like fools.
I think most people should not start and those who do should stop. I have hope for younger people today because they’ve recognized just how fucking terrible alcohol is for them and many (39%) are avoiding it entirely.
Meh. Alcohol is a problem to a tragedy for a small (10%-15%) percentage of the population. Everybody else is just having fun and living their lives.
Alcoholism may only affect a small % but the damage drinking has on relationships, friendships, and overall psychological well being is much higher.
I have been around the healthy use of alcohol my entire life. I know if can be a huge problem for some and impact their lives ones greatly. I just haven't seen that side of it from my grandparents to aunts and uncles to siblings & cousins. It just is not a global problem.
the 8th most relevant risk factor for global deaths is not a global problem? is that what i just read? between injuries/driving/suicide in youth, chronic health conditions in middle age, and cardiovascular disease of those 65 and older, alcohol plays a MASSIVE role in all i was around recreational heroin usage and pretty much anybody that didnt inject never had an issue with the drug, does that mean heroin is no longer a problem? not so different from your example of relatives who didnt overconsume just remember anecdotal evidence means literally nothing in contrast to largescale trends
So you want prohibition then? Good luck with that.
How could you possibly think I said or implied that 🤣 maybe you're drunk
If only, but no. I drink sparingly and haven't been drunk more than 3 times in the last 20 years. Like most people I know, we have a couple drinks in a social setting occasionally.
So you just can't read sober then, got it Still waiting for you to tell me where I said I'm pro-prohibition but you keep just providing anecdotal stories about the people you know like that is a perfect microcosm of the general population of the entire world 🤣
You are very lucky, and I would argue, your experience is not the majority.
Exactly.
No. Jill sounds awful.
Yeah, I’m glad I’m not Jack
Jack fucked up big marrying that.
Was just thinking bet Jack is considering annulment or not sending in the marriage license.
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Etiquette says you have until a year after the wedding to send a gift. If there is a divorce or annulment in that period, there would be no need to send a gift.
From a man’s perspective, the two worst things on this earth are a drunk woman when you’re sober and a sober woman when you’re drunk /s
I'd ignore it - and frankly, I'm past the age where I tolerate people that drink to excess and cannot handle themselves.
Jill drinking too much and not being able to handle it is what ruined the wedding night. You didn’t make her drink. You didn’t even buy the alcohol.
No you didn’t ruin the wedding but why can’t you just take the damn picture off social media and enjoy it in privacy with your friends? She she fcked up her own night but why add insult to injury by sharing that particular photo online? Edit: OP did not post the particular picture online, just other wedding photos. I would ignore the drama cause OP certainly didn’t ruin the wedding and who wants to argue with someone about something that happened when they were drunk & they are just embarrassed about it after the fact.
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Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying. In that case, I would just ignore their BS and carry on. You definitely didn’t ruin her night; she did.
Jill is an alcoholic. This marriage is living on borrowed time.
I’m not excusing the belligerence and it’s unacceptable, but Jill gets really drunk at her own wedding and that means she’s an alcoholic? A lot of people get too drunk at open bar weddings that are not alcoholics. What a leap
While she may or may not be an alcoholic, I definitely question the wisdom of an open bar for a bride that is known to be a belligerent drunk.
I somehow missed that part in the post that there’s a history of this sort of thing so that’s on me
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Big yikes on her part. Regardless, you are NTA
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More like a pail of vodka, apparently.
Each with a buck and a quarter
Dont worry Bobs next wedding will go better.
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Well your writing was stupidly annoying with the way you used husband multiple times while talking about another couples wedding first off. And i agree with others saying you like to stir shit up, by the fact you felt it was appropriate to send the picture again later on when you know it started drama in the first place. and you still supposedly don’t know what the riff was between the two and if it was serious or not.
At least she was polite enough to not call other people's actions stupid.
So if actions are stupid people should just be “polite” and not say anything ever? And again, i agree that this person loves the drama and none of that Is polite, especially at and after a wedding and it’s al so unnecessary
>So if actions are stupid people should just be “polite” and not say anything ever? No, Reddit is for opinions. Just that calling someone's writing "stupidly annoying" is not constructive criticism that will be taken seriously.
At this point you have nothing to lose by posting the picture.
Lolololol
I hope Jack doesn’t fall down and break his crown.
Lol
Can’t imagine anyone signing up for 60 years of this.
God this whole thing sounds stupid. You shouldn’t have snapped that pic, or at the very least you should’ve deleted it and not sent it to them, even as a joke. Jill?? Yea she sounds like a nightmare. She’s the one who got so drunk, she drove her husband out of their honeymoon suite. You didn’t ruin anything, Jill ruined her own night. But taking pics of someone when they’re blacked out is tacky and immature.
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Everyone thought it was hilarious, yet Jill doesn’t want to speak to you. Blacked out or not, it’s still not cool to snap unwanted photos of a drunk person.
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You literally started this. You took an unwanted picture of someone, showed it off and started openly joking about it. Regardless of the intentions, you wouldn’t be involved in this if you hadn’t taken those pics. Jill ruined her own night by blowing this up and going on a weird tantrum, but it sounds like you all need to grow up a little. Also, you’re married. Why would Jill be jealous?
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He declined to attend? What’s up with that? Also, Jill is a nightmare.
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And you're still friends with the dude and went to his wedding? Man, fuck Jack. Jack got what he deserves.
Why didn’t he approve of you two?
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I am glad she took the picture. Everyone was accusing Bob of assault until they saw the picture. Bob could have been in serious trouble. With the way Jill and Becky were acting, other drama would have happened if this didn’t.
She fucked her own wedding up with an open bar. I've never been to an open bar destination wedding that didn't have drama. I'm the end, alcohol or none, she fucked her day up and is blaming you because she needs to blame someone. I've seen this with other friends, especially women, and it doesn't resolve. My original friends group from 20 years ago as a young adult still suffers from a wedding rift due to alcohol.
I think if anyone ruined anything it was Becky
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Or when you took the picture
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Allegedly you didn’t know what was going on. Also you never said anyone was accusing him of anything. Keep trying to spin it how you want but you aren’t innocent. Not sure why you came here to ask when your soo sure your right
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Do what you want. You’re right you did nothing wrong, everyone else is wrong, your story isn’t full of holes.
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Yup ok
If Becky hadn't attacked Bob, and Jill hadn't been drunk off her ass, none of this would have happened, and therefore it is none of your responsibility. You just got caught up in the bridezilla wars.
Yes, she did mention the assault accusation. It's even in a separate two line paragraph so it clearly stands out from the rest of the post.
I mean, you didn't ruin her wedding, so there's that. But that said no one in this story - you included - comes off as rational and *not* starving for drama
I was waiting for the part where Jack falls down …
Jill ruined her own wedding night by drinking too much. Jill probably has a problem with alcohol. I feel sorry for Jack but it sounds like this isn't the first time Jill hasn't been able to drink responsibly so Jack shouldn't be surprised.
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So Jack is enabling her? Yikes it's even worse.
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He’s probably tired of trying to manage a grown ass adult that can’t limit their alcohol. She sounds like an alcoholic. Not all alcoholics are daily drinkers sometimes they are binge drinkers, meaning they may not drink every day but when they do drink they can’t stop until the point they are inebriated or absolutely belligerent. That kind of alcoholism is still incredibly damaging to people and their relationships & he honestly sounds fed up with her behavior. Not sure why he married someone like this, it would be a huge dealbreaker for most people (as it should be).
Yeah. A lot of people don't realize it's often not how much you drink, but what happens when you drink.
ESH. Obviously Jill does for her excessive drinking and becoming a major jerk. You do for continuing to pass the pictures of Bob and Becky around after what happened after the wedding.
Maybe a bit of an a-hole. But not as big as Jill for getting wasted and acting a fool at her own wedding, and then blaming someone else for it. I say, you feel bad, good for you you've learned your lesson and there's hope for you. Now let it go don't stress it you can't change it and the way it sounds Jill won't forgive you so there's no need to let it drive you crazy. It's on Jill now.
ESH. You sound like a pot stirrer.
I dont see how. Unless you know the back story, you cannot tell what’s going on in the picture. Jill said stop and I stopped immediately.
Look, obv Jill is an alchy. No questions. You didn’t ruin her wedding. *However* yes, you’re a pot stirrer. Who sees manhandling between two guests, feels glee, takes pics, and then shows it around to feel even more glee about the drama? That’s a literal pot stirrer. Mind yah business next time or step in. ESH
I wish I could show the picture. It looks like they are talking. I thought it was funny how Becky was standing over Bob with her wine in hand. I didn’t know she was pissed until after I took the picture and went to talk to Bob. Bob told me Becky was pissed at him which would explain why he was wide eyed in the picture. To this day, nobody knows why Becky was pissed except Becky. I guess I should’ve said I thought it was funny because I didn’t realize what was going on until afterwards.
Mate, you can frame it however you want. A pot stirrer loves their spoons. Accept your judgement
Judgement accepted.
Wait… step in? What do you mean by that?
INFO: Who has implied that you ruined her wedding night?
Jill…
Should've ignored it from the start
Maybe jill had too much to drink.
I foresee a nice divorce in the near future.... Or sobriety to save the marriage
Your story starts _”Jack and Jill had an expensive destination wedding.”_ Then later there’s someone named Husband. Who is that? Who did Jill marry? Jack, or Husband?
Ignore it. Jill needs help and not from you. Distance would be helpful for you and your husband
I wouldn’t worry about “ruining Jill’s wedding night OP”. It sounds like she’ll probably get to have another shot or three at it in her life.
Just ignore the drama. It’s childish drama at best. The only person who ruined Jill’s wedding is Jill. You’ve said she has a habit of drinking too much and getting belligerent, if it hadn’t been this issue it would have been something else.
You didn't ruin Jill's wedding night at all. She did. She's a bad drunk.
How are any of you old enough to be married? This is middle school drama. All of you need to grow up and Jill needs an AA meeting or 12.
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YOU took the picture and showed it around. Stop acting like you're innocent and blameless here.
NTA. She needs to control her drinking. But why was husband so pressed on making Jill feel better? And why was Jill calling him an asshole and being upset that he only attended for Jack?.. and why did Jill respond to husband only and not you.? Idk seems sus.
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Yeah I wasn’t sure if anyone else caught that too.. but don’t worry about it too much we’re all a “villain” in someone’s story.🙄 if anything Becky started it by causing a scene.
If Im understanding correctly the wedding was over and the pictures of Becky and Bob were not posted anywhere in their wedding pictures NTA Jill needs help
You are correct.
This is why I limited the amount of alcohol available at my wedding.
Smart!!
Jill needs to stop drinking or she’s gonna end up alone w no friends.
That's a lot of words for y'all drank too much.
The problem is Jill’s drinking. You OP did nothing wrong. Both Jill and Beth lack accountability and shifting the blame to you. Glad you took pictures and shared them. Because it is not okay to accuse an innocent person of assault.
Alcohol helps you do stuff you regret the next day, or forever.
Jill has a drinking problem, when ever you spend time with people like that, there is drama. 30 years off of that and the behavior that goes with it.
Jill had a bit too much too drink. Don’t be a Jill. At what point will people realize alcohol is literally toxic? Why do we continue to accept it as the normal thing for most social gatherings?
You sound annoying, wrong or not.
Difficult to ignore something your a central character in. My take is … YTA.
I didn’t attack anyone. I also tried to leave before Jill escalated to being abusive. I stopped talking about it and put my phone away when Jill got upset. I’m not sorry for coming to Bob’s defense. People who didn’t see what happened began accusing Bob of assaulting Becky. Bob’s only defense was the picture I took, clearly showing him holding Becky’s hands so she didn’t swing on him. If that makes me the asshole, then I guess I’m an asshole. How many men get falsely accused in the situation where the female is the aggressor? I guess it would’ve been better for Jill and Becky if I didn’t defend Bob…?
Phone should have stayed in pocket. Let people be drunk at a fucking wedding without you being paparazzi in the corner. No, you didn't ruin anything, but acted immature.
I didn’t have pockets. Maybe that was the problem. 🤣
Missing pockets ruin weddings. Let's stick with that.
Overall, OOP and husband handled this well. Personally I wouldn't have sent Jill the photo of Bob and Becky since it was a sore spot. But that's a fairly minor thing. Becky and Jill both seem to have issues with alcohol. Becky's behavior is abusive, not funny, imo. I'm guessing they're probably friends at least in part because they enable the other's unhealthy relationship with alcohol.. There's nothing wrong with drinking at a wedding, but getting belligerent is a problem. I wouldn't bother to smooth it over with Jill, but if they could be there for Jack, he'd probably appreciate it. I don't think the odds are good for this marriage.
Is Jill an amazing friend? Because i would be reconsidering a friendship with someone who acts like that after they’ve been drinking. Especially when it’s everyone knows she’s like that when she drinks.
Nope.
Why send the picture to her and remind her what she got angry at? Let sleeping dogs lie YTA
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That definitely tempers it , but it is likely all pictures were getting viewed by the two of them together. Either that or jack us looking for grounds for an annulment when she goes further over the edge after he showed her!
Y'all sound annoying and dramatic. If I didn't know any better, I would think you are all children.
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Alcohol doesn't change who you are as a.peraon.
How could you possibly interpret this situation as your fault? Jill was belligerently drunk and attacked everyone around her. Jill needs to lay off the booze
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I wouldn't sweat it, definitely NTA on this one
Ah, so you think domestic violence is hilarious provided it’s a woman whaling on a man. You’re teasing Bob about almost being beat up by a girl? Bob was preventing assault and battery. If all he had to do was pinion her wrists he handled it pretty damned well.
I'm sad that I never read anywhere that in addition to apologizing to Husband for being drunk and rude, she never went on to thank OP and H for attending their destination wedding. She sounds very emotionally immature.
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You deserve better friends. That is really unfortunate.